Lilo and Stitch: Ohana
by ngrey651
Summary: A boy from the real world arrives in theirs, and turns the island upside-down with his eccentricity. New foes appear to challenge Lilo and Stitch, and it will take all of the ohana to bring peace to Kauai! Read, review, check it out this epic adventure!
1. Prologue

_Attention world…Nick Grey speaking._

_Yeah, things got weird for me last year. I was sent into a world that I thought only existed in a video game! But it was THERE that I learned of the existence of other worlds, even more fantastical than the one I'd been in!_

_I also learned powerful abilities, ones that were possibly within me all along, waiting to be let out when my inner hero was truly unleashed. Using these abilities, and the VFX powers of Mach Speed, Slow, Replay and Zoom, I was able to finally save Viewtiful Joe's world, Movieland, from destruction. Awesome, huh?_

_But my family doesn't remember what happened. Not even my brother. Only my friend Matt remembers, but he and I are not talking to others about it. Who'd believe us?_

_And for a while, I thought that what had happened to me had been just a dream. Something brought up from an overdosing of root beer, popcorn and Skittles. _

_But then THIS happened. _

_I was thrust into a brand new world._

_Into a brave new adventure. _

_I endured brave trials, saved an island, made a lot of friends, and found someone to call, with pride and love, my girlfriend. _

_I entered the world…of Lilo and Stitch. _

* * *

**LILO AND STITCH:**

**OHANA**

* * *

Inside a white house, watching the credits of a cartoon TV show named Lilo and Stitch, was a teenager with a light green "Spring Break" t-shirt who had on blue jeans and white sneakers. He had brown hair that was slightly curly and brushed back, its temperamental nature subdued with a little hair gel. This kid was Nicholas Michael Grey. 

Nick sat down on the couch, and turned off the TV after his show had finished. He sighed deeply, as the humidity of the house wafted around him, the smell of the wooden floor drifting up through his nostrils and perforating his very brain cells. Weather like this made you feel really "D-U-M-M." as some of Nick's friends at school might say.

Which reminded him. "I've gotta call Matt up and tell him I want to talk to him about the warp engine." Matt had a plan to build the world's very first working warp engine and Nick honestly believed that his friend could do it. He was very intelligent, even though Nick sometimes wished that his friend would give it a rest sometimes with the Star Trek and Battlestar Galatica talk.

He sighed and rubbed his head. "Man, it's so hot. How can it only be 80 degrees when it feels like a billion and two?"

He sighed and stood up, stretching.

It was June 22nd, 2003, and Nicholas Michael Grey was 14 years old. He was gonna be a freshman in high school next year, and as hundreds of adults said, "Thus begins the best years of your life".

"Bull!" Nick always thought when he heard that piece of advice. "The best years of my life are gonna be spent at a desk, listening to old farts talk to me about multivariable calculus and the fifteenth symphony of so-and-so? HA!"

Naw, he'd take his time becoming an adult. He only had so much time to relax. Which is why he watched Lilo and Stitch.

The show was about a young Hawaiian girl and her "dog", who wasn't really a dog, but an illegal genetic experiment from outer space, created for total destruction and havoc. The girl was named Lilo Pelekai, and the alien, koala-like dog, whose designation was experiment 626, was named "Stitch". Originally Stitch only hung around Lilo because he was using her as a shield to keep his creator from getting at him, but Lilo had taught him how to love and care for others and how to belong to a family…an _ohana._

_Ohana_ means family.

Family means nobody gets left behind…or forgotten. Nick smiled every time he thought about that. A family that truly looks out for one another…he wished his brother would understand that lesson sooner or later. He loved his brother, but sometimes…MAN!

He wished he owned Lilo and Stitch. Too bad he didn't though. Chris Sanders and Jess Winfield did, the lucky stiffs.

Nick's parents had divorced, so he felt sorry for Lilo, who had lost her parents in a car crash a while ago. She had had something good, and had lost it, like Nick felt he had. He knew that he could never really "fix" the wound that the divorce had given him…but he could grit his teeth and move on with his life, looking for the good things that had come from the divorce. And Lilo had found an angel from heaven, Stitch, to help her sort through a tough time in her life. She was on the verge of being taken away by Social Services when Stitch entered her life.

Nick wondered what it would be like to lose David. He felt a chill go up his back. The willies. "Your soul is trying to escape because something disturbed it" as his stepmom Barbara would say. He couldn't imagine life without David, or Mom, or Dad.

He couldn't imagine life without his best friend Matt either. Which reminded him…he'd have to call his friend up.

He wished that his v-watch would actually WORK. All it did was look really nice, which is why it was gathering dust on his desk. Did Matt have any watch-fixing experience? Couldn't hurt to ask. His dad ran a hobby shop, fixing a watch _should_ be easier than fixing a ridiculously big toy battleship.

Nick walked over to the phone and reached for it. Suddenly the power went out. His dog, Jessica, howled, sending a shiver up Nick's spine. This was odd. Really random! The power out in the SUMMER? That only happens what, every couple dozen hundred years?

Nick looked around, taking in the house now that it had no power. Then he saw something REALLY freaky. The tv…it…it was GLOWING! There was a strange little white dot in the middle of the screen…ooh, freaky!

Then Nick heard a voice.

It couldn't be…but it was!

THE Voice. The omnipotent-sounding voice that had spoken to him in Joe's world!

"NICK…NICK…ARE YOU READY?"

"For what?"

"A BRAND NEW ADVENTURE. ANOTHER WORLD REQUIRES SAVING. ARE YOU READY? YOU MUST BE AS GENTLE AS AN OCEAN BREEZE BUT AS PASSIONATE AS A NATIVE WARRIOR."

"Ocean breeze? Native warrior? Am I being sent to an island?"

"YES. AND NOT JUST ANY ISLAND. IT'S HAWAII. THE ISLAND OF KAUAI."

"Wait…Kauai…that's the island Lilo and Stitch live on! Does…does that mean?"

"YES. YOU ARE GOING TO THEIR WORLD. APPOACH THE PORTAL IF YOU WISH TO GO ON THIS ADVENTURE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO OF COURSE."

"Hmm…"

Nick was a curious guy, so who can guess what he did?

If you said "He went up to the TV", you're absolutely right. Everyone else has to stay after school and write "I would rather hang around the house on a lazy summer day" 500 times on the board.

Nick walked up to the TV and put his pointer finger gently on the white dot on the TV. Suddenly he was sucked into the TV with a "PHWOOMP!" and he vanished from the house. Everything went dark around him…and then he found himself falling down, down, towards a bright light at the bottom of this seemingly-endless tunnel.

"NICK…YOU ARE GOING TO ENCOUNTER STRANGE CREATURES AND DANGEROUS VILLAINS…BUT YOU ARE NOT UNAIDED. YOU HAVE YOUR NATURAL ABILITES…AND **THIS**!"

A flash of light, which temporarily blinded him, and then Nick saw that he had a watch on his right hand, a silver watch with a nice display screen that showed the time. It had many buttons on it. It reminded him of his v-watch.

"USE THIS WELL."

"Wait! Is there something _else_ I should know?"

"YOU NEED TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING A TRUE HERO. TRUE, YOU DEMONSTRATED GREAT BRAVERY IN VIEWTIFUL JOE'S WORLD, BUT THERE ARE OTHER QUALITIES BESIDES BRAVERY AND NOBILITY THAT A HERO MUST DEMONSTRATE. HE MUST BE WILLING TO DO **ANYTHING** IN ORDER TO DO THE RIGHT THING. SO YOU WILL BE TESTED."

"How?"

The light was fast approaching…

"YOU WILL FIND OUT…"

It was almost upon him…

"BEWARE OF THE DARKNESS, BUT TRUST YOUR HEART. AND REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE ONE! YOU ARE CHOSEN! CONTINUE TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND DON'T FORGET WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MAY BE TO REMEMBER! THERE ARE OTHER ABILITIES WAITING FOR YOU WITHIN YOUR FAMILY, FIND THEM."

Everything went white…

"GOOD LUCK."

* * *

**_OPENING CREDITS_** **_

* * *

_**

Camera cuts to Nick Grey, wearing a blue Hawaiian t-shirt, white shorts, white sneakers and a necklace with a color-changing orb on the end. He's on the luau stage, and the only light that shines down is on him. You can't see anyone else really, except for outlines of the characters. Nick has a regular guitar in his hands.

**BGM: Burning Love, by Wynonna Judd **

Nick strums a few notes.

"Nah. Maybe a…"

He grabs an electric guitar that's lying next to him and starts playing.

"Oh yeah! One, two, one-two-three-four!"

_Lord almighty, I feel my temperature rising! _(Camera cuts to Lilo and Stitch, who smile broadly and wave at everyone cheerfully.)

_Higher and higher, it's burning through to my soooul! _(Camera cuts to Jumba's lab. Jumba turns around and pulls his goggles off, smiling, and Pleakley waves eagerly, not noticing that he's about to spill an explosive.)

_Baby, baby, baby, you gonna set me on fiiire… _(Camera cuts to Nani and David, who hug and grin at the camera.)

_My brain is flaming…and I don't know which way to gooo…yeaaah! _(Camera cuts to Nick back on the stage, as he prepares to REALLY play his guitar.)

_Cuz your kisses lift me higher! Like the sweet song of a choir! You light my morning sky…with burnin' love! _(Nick plays his guitar like a pro as more lights come onto the stage, showing Lilo and Stitch. Lilo is in a hula skirt and she bows, and Stitch is on the guitar, grinning.)

_Ooh, ooh, ooh…I feel my temperature rising! _(Camera cuts to Gantu's ship. Gantu is cleaning his plasma gun and 625 snacks on a sandwich. Gantu's gun suddenly explodes and 625 laughs to hard he spits out mayo.)

_Help me I'm flaming, I must be a hundred and nine…_(Camera then cuts to 621 and 627. 621, arms crossed, closes his eyes and recklessly grins. 627 gives a wild grin at the camera, and his extra head pops out, sticking his tongue out.)

_Burning, burning, burning, and nothing can cool me…_(Camera cuts to 421, who is bounding through the air after a butterfly, and 561, who is flying after him, barely tossing a glance at the camera.)

_I might just turn to smoke…but I feel fiiiiine…yeah! _(Camera cuts to Hamsterviel, who has his back turned. He quickly whips around, stretching out his cape with one arm, smiling evilly.)

_Cuz your kisses lift me higher! Like the sweet song of a choir! You light my morning sky…with burnin' love! _( Victoria is now seen, and she and Lilo dance. Keoni is also on the stage, he's got a guitar and is playing with Stitch.

Now as the instrument part plays, we see four dramatic scenes.

The first is of Nick, Lilo and Stitch all facing down Gantu, Stitch jumping at him.

Secondly, 621, 627 and 561 are are all standing together, doing different evil-looking poses.

Thirdly, Nick and Hamsterviel are rolling around, fighting hard, fists flying.

Fourthly, a shadowy, Stitch-like experiment stretches out his grasp across the sky as all of the other main characters all look up at the form, ready for a dramatic showdown.

_It's coming close…the flames are now licking my body…_(Camera cuts to a scene where Nick is rushing through a burning house, desperately searching…)

_Won't you help me, I feel like I'm slipping awaaay…_(Camera cuts to 621, who's arms are pinwheeling as he falls back, towards the ocean and a watery grave…)

_It's hard to breathe…my chest is just a-heaving…_(Stitch is raised into the air by 627's telekinesis, being choked as 627 laughs madly…)

_Lord have mercy, burning a hole in meeee! _(Camera cuts back to the stage. Nick raises a hand up in the air and snaps his fingers. All of the lights come on.)

_Cuz your kisses lift me higher! Like the sweet song of a choir! You light my morning sky…with burnin' love! _(We now see that Pleakley is on the bass guitar and Jumba is on the drums. Nani is dancing with Victoria and Lilo, and David is doing his luau torch routine in tune to the music. In the background, 421 gives everyone a thumbs up as he stands by the sound system.)

_I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin' love…I'm just a hunka, hunka, burnin' love! _(Jumba bangs hard on the guitar, spinning the drumsticks in his hand occasionally. Pleakley jams on the guitar, head banging.)

_I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin' love…I'm just a hunka, hunka, burnin' love! _(Lilo, Victoria and Nani all dance the hula while Nick, Stitch and Keoni jam on their guitars.)

_I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin' love…I'm just a hunka, hunka, burnin' love! _(Camera cuts to audience, filled up with townsfolk and experiments. In the front row is the reluctant Myrtle and her posse. Myrtle's posse are cheering, but Myrtle sulks…although her foot is going up and down to the music. Cobra Bubbles and Mrs. Hasagawa are also in the front row, along with the Grand Councilwoman, and they're cheering.)

_I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin' love…I'm just a hunka, hunka, burnin' love! _(Gantu and 625 are in the back, heads bouncing to the music. Hamsterviel, who's handcuffed, has his eyes closed and is tapping to the music. 561, 621 and 627 are also there in the back. 621 is smiling, foot tapping. 627 is clapping with all of his hands and 561 bobs his head to the music.)

_I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin'… luh-ooooove, ooohhhh-oohhhhh, aahhh-hahhh…yeaaahhhh… _

(Camera pans out to show the whole place, as the words "LILO AND STITCH THE SERIES" appear in their usual style. Lilo and Stitch poke their heads up from off screen, on the left and right side. They walk underneath the letters. Then Nick drops down from the top and falls in between them, and all three smile and face the camera, Lilo putting her hands on her hips and smiling bravely, Stitch grinning broadly and Nick giving the "peace sign" with his right hand. Music finally comes to an end and all goes black.)

"Now that was cool."

"Ih! Bootifa!"

"Cool? That was awesome! _Mahalo_, everyone!"

Everyone cheers.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Nicholas Michael Grey_

Nick is the protagonist, the good guy, the teenage kid who's trying to do well…AND good…with his newly-discovered powers, simply trying to help others and doing the right thing. He's eccentric, slightly selfish, and the last best hope of the entire universe. He cares deeply about those he loves, and loves to write, draw and dream.


	2. Right Lesson, Wrong Time

**CHAPTER ONE**

RIGHT LESSON, WRONG TIME

Nick rubbed his head.

He was somewhere strange…it was a cafeteria, he could tell from the smells, the sounds, and the vague shapes around him. It looked like there were several buffets around too. Everything was pretty blurry though. He rubbed his eyes, groaning.

He stood up, and blinked a few times, and his eyes became clear.

Oh dear.

"Oh." He said simply, as he looked into the eyes of hundreds of illegal genetic experiments.

Some with claws, some with tentacles, some with antennae, some with paws, some with hands, some with wings and some with strange, blob-like bodies. And all were looking at him, with a mixture of shock, anger…and interest.

"What the heck are you?" the nearest one said. Nick turned to face it. It was a beetle-like experiment, with big black compound eyes, and a blue and purple striped body, with delicate wings. He was buzzing angrily. Next to him was a sexy-looking experiment with pink fur, long, tendril-like antennae and beautiful black eyes that stared deep into your soul. She had red claws and was smiling, interested in this new thing that had appeared from a flash of light. The beetle experiment, who Nick knew would later become Amnesio, was angry.

"You've got some nerve, weirdo! Just showing up in our cafeteria at lunch, the cheek!" said Amnesio. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"Uh…I came here kinda by accident, so I'll just be going…"

"Give it back!" "No!" "I said, give it back!" "How about no?" "Give it back or I'll…" "You'll WHAT, loser?"

Nick noticed that a hummingbird experiment with red wings and pink feathers was chasing after two experiments, one female and one male. The male one was hefty and strong, with a strange mechanical right arm that doubled as a plasma gun. The female had green fur, big blue eyes, and small antennae. She was also shorter than the male, who was pretty big. Nick knew who they were. They would be later named Bonnie and Clyde, after the famous robbers. THIS Bonnie and Clyde could steal things without being caught. At all. Apparently though, their thieving powers didn't work on fellow experiments. They had made off with Hunkahunka's (The hummingbird's) lunch, by the looks of it, some kind of meaty casserole dish.

"It's not funny! I'm starving! You already stole three lunches!" "Well my buddy here's still hungry!" "Yeah! I'm still hungry!" The two experiments were running right his way…

Nick rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what he had to do. He waited for Clyde, who was holding onto the casserole dish to get close. Then he stepped to the side, sticking out his foot. Clyde fell to the floor and the casserole flew into the air. Nick caught it in his hands and walked over to Hunkahunka. "Here. Your lunch." Hunkahunka blinked. Nick set the dish back down at Hunkahunka's table and smiled at the bird. "Enjoy." He said, bowing slightly.

Nick turned to leave, but something blocked his way. Another experiment, with purple skin, who had four muscular arms. He was squat, but very powerful-looking. Nick knew he would later be called "Kixx" by Lilo. He cracked his huge knuckles and grinned meanly.

"You're in the wrong place at the wrong time, kid. And I could use a little practice beating stuff up!" Kixx jumped into the air, aiming to bash Nick's head in.

"Oh, really?" Nick asked, grinning inwardly.

Nick arched his left arm back.

"BLITZKREIG BOP!" Nick shouted and then thrust forward, his left fist slamming into Kixx's face. THWAM! Kixx went flying through the air, breaking through a salad bar in the cafeteria. The experiments gasped. One of their best had just been beaten in one move!

Nick did a little victory dance. "Yatto watashi, wa hakase!" Nick said in Japanese. "Yahoo! I won!" The female experiment grinned. "Kid's got moves." She said. Nick blushed. "Aw, shucks, it's nothing really-"

"HEY!"

Nick turned around. Oh boy. The experiments all around him were looking quite angrily at him. "Uh…sorry?" Nick said. "GET HIM!" came the cry, and Nick ran for the doors. "SorryI'll comebacklater,thankyou!" Nick said as he burst through the doors and ran down a long hallway. He could hear shouts right behind him and looked around for something, ANYTHING, to hide in…

Meanwhile, not very far away…

"Experiment 625! Good, you have come."

"You wanted to see me, doc?"

"Yes. I have a mission for you."

"Oh, it must be important, then if you wanted to talk about it in person."

"Yes…very important. Have I ever told you about my school days?"

"No, I don't think you've told ANYONE about that."

"Back when I was in school, before I was with my partner and best friend, I had no friends. I was just a lonely boy who liked eating too much and solving advanced quadratic formulaic anomalies."

"But then you met your best friend?"

"Yes, who would later become my partner."

"Oh, you mean-"

"Yes. Now, our first order of business was to get back at the bullies who had been bothering us for so long. So we went to someone who knew how to get things…"

"Like what?"

"Like Fool's Snootonium. Is very much like snootonium, but is more sticky, and is worthless."

"I see. What was it for?"

"There was a big dance coming up. The dance floor was conveniently over an underground pool…"

"Ah…and that fake snootonium reacts with water, I remember reading that somewhere."

"Exactly. We poured it in. We waited for the dance…and when the jocks were on the dance floor we threw a switch and ha-ha-haaa! The dance floor went "whoosh", the jocks went "AAAA!" and they all fell in a 100-yard swimming pool filled to the brink with green, gloppy goo!

"I'll bet you had a real laugh, doc."

"Oh, we did. After that Rupert and I were friends for life. But the person who we GOT the fool's snootonium from became a hated enemy soon after…"

"What was his name?"

"His name was Rahry. He's E.G.O's latest evil genius, unfortunately, and he's building up a very impressive weapons laboratory in the Epsilon Sector…"

"Let me guess…it's an eyesore."

"Now why can't there be more experiments like you?"

"No problem, doc. I'll get rid of it."

"I have already downloaded the coordinates to your ship's computer. Good luck, experiment 625. Do not be doing anything rash."

"Hey, have I ever let you down?"

Back to Nick…

Nick ran down a hallway, and made a left turn. He ran down ANOTHER hallway…

And then he saw it. An experiment, sobbing horribly. Nick was a sensitive guy, and he felt sorry for the poor thing. He walked over…

The experiment turned around. Nick gasped. He looked so much like Stitch, only he was green…and…

His wrists had dried blood on them.

"Did…did you just try to slit your wrists?"

"She…she doesn't love me anymore…" The experiment sobbed.

SLAP! Nick slapped him across the face. "That way is NEVER the right way! Don't EVER try to kill yourself ever again!" "All right." The experiment said, sniffling and wiping away tears. Nick knelt down and gave him a hug. "You got any friends?" "I had a girl…but…" "I know. Any other friends?" "No…" "Well I'll be your first one!" Nick said, standing up. He held his hand out. "Okay?" The experiment looked at Nick's hand, and extended his own…

Suddenly Nick heard the shouts of the experiments that were chasing him. "Uh oh." He said. He took off to the right, yelling back to the experiment. "I owe you a handshake!" The experiment blinked slowly. The mob then arrived on the scene, approaching him. "Hey, did you see a kid run by here?" Kixx demanded. "Uh, he ran left." The experiment said. The mob took off. The experiment looked in the direction Nick had run off in and smiled slowly.

A friend, huh…

Nick saw it. A hallway leading to a huge hangar filled with spaceships. "Perfect!" Nick said, making a quick right turn. "They'll never find me in here!" He ran down the hall, rushed up to the nearest spaceship and ran up it's loading ramp, which was conveniently down. He rushed inside, where strange machinery and unusual computers greeted him. But there wasn't any time to look at that, so Nick jumped into a nearby closet, closed the door, and waited…

And waited…and waited…

And he began to feel very sleeeeepyyyy…

Soon he had fallen fast asleep, and because he was asleep, he never saw the lone, golden-furred experiment that walked onto the ship, starting it up and making it sail out into space, towards destinations unknown.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Jumba Jookiba_

An evil genius, sometimes called "idiot scientist", Jumba graduated with the highest honors from Evil Genius University, soon becoming a member of E.G.O, the Evil Genius Organization, and rising through the ranks. While he was Head Scientist of the Galactic Federation, he began to work in secret on creating illegal experiments, and 626 is his most successful achievement yet. He has made 628 so far. Although he tries to ACT evil, he's really a nice guy underneath it all, and he deeply cares about his _ohana_.


	3. Experiment 625

**CHAPTER TWO**

EXPERIMENT 625

"ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZ-huh? Oh, man! I fell asleep! Crud!" Nick stood up, and almost bonked his head on the ceiling of the closet. "I've got to learn to be more…wait…" He put his ear to the door of the closet and listened. Someone was humming to himself inside the ship…which was RUNNING!

"Aw crud." Nick said.

The ship must have taken off. He was now probably in outer space. And worse still, there was probably a bloodthirsty experiment at the helm. Double crud.

Still, Nick thought he MIGHT be able to win if he had the element of surprise. He reached for the door, and slowly opened it up. He looked around the corner, and saw a golden-furred experiment with antennae and four arms at the helm of the ship. He had impressive ears as well. Nick slowly stepped out of the closet, but the minute he did and closed the door, the experiment spoke up.

"I knew SOMEONE was hiding in there. I was just waiting for you to come out."

"How did you know?"

"These big ears of mine are not just for decoration."

"Ah."

The experiment wheeled around and Nick gasped. He recognized him, just barely, from the TV show!

It was experiment 625. He had beautiful golden fur, big, child-like black eyes, long antennae, huge ears, sharp claws and four muscular arms. He had a big smile too. He blinked slowly at Nick and finally spoke. "What exactly are you?" he asked. If not for the Brooklyn accent, Nick would have been almost unable to identify that this thing WAS experiment 625.

"I'm nobody important. But YOU'RE experiment 625, right?"

"Yeah…" 625 frowned. How did this kid know?…

"Where exactly are we going?" Nick asked. "WE?" the experiment said, surprised. "I oughta fire you outta my airlock, kid!" "Sorry about sneaking onto your ship. I was trying to hide from your fellow experiments." "Yeah, yeah. Well you're here now…and I guess I could use some help…so here's the deal. Don't get in my way, and I won't rip your throat out, okay?" "Uh…sure…" 625 grinned. "Good. Now, I gotta get back to work! And DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. _Especially_ not that lever in the back."

Nick looked to the back. There was an interesting red lever on the wall, which had a sign above it: "Advance Speed". "Whuzzat?" Nick asked. "That's the Advance Speed activator. It's a warp engine, designed to-" "Make you go REALLY fast in a short period of time?" "Basically." "Cool!" "I said don't touch it, alright! Oh, we're here! Planet Turo!"

Planet Turo looked like a lush, beautiful planet, with large oceans a huge continents, but there were also several dozen small islands all around the world, and strangely enough, the land was very green in several continents and on quite a few of the islands. "That planet's civilized, true, but it's got so many forests and jungles that it may as well not be in some cases. Can you believe they still worship a god down there?"

Nick was silent.

"They don't even give him a name. They just call "Sude", which means "God" in Turonian." "I see. Heh." "What's so funny?" "Even in outer space people still believe in God. I wonder if I'll see _them_ up in Heaven too…" "What, don't tell me you buy into that God crap?"

Nick's right arm trembled slightly.

"Did…did you just say…"that God cp"?...did you just…why did you just say that?"

625 snorted. "It's total crap, believing in God. I was created by science, not by some higher power that I can't see. If I wanna see my creator, I walk down the hallway, take a right, take a left, and then knock on the door. There's no such thing as God. People made him, not the other way around." "So you view your gifts as natural?"

"Duh, kid! These good looks, this strength…" "The ability to lift objects 3000 times your size." "Yeah. The ability to think faster than a supercomputer, the ability to endure the most deadliest or weapons…I'm invincible, kid! You could shoot me point blank and I wouldn't even get a burn mark." "I feel sorry for you." Nick said, looking out the window at the beautiful planet and the shining stars that surrounded it.

625 spluttered out "Wha-what? The hell are you talkin' about, kid? Why are you feeling sorry for ME? I've got everything going for me! And I only care about two things…looking out for number one and enjoying myself!" "What about An-" Nick caught himself just in time. "What about 624?" "Oh…okay, I care about her too. A lot. She's wonderful…" 625's voice turned warm, and his eyes became moist as he thought about his beloved 624. "I love her. I love everything about her." "She's that nice, huh?" "Yeah, in fact, last night she and I did a little bit of antannaeing." "TMI! TOTAL TMI!" "Whuzzat mean?" "It means Too Much Information on my planet." "What's your planet?" "You'll find out…someday. Oh, where exactly are you landing?"

625 sighed, and pointed at a display screen on the controls. A little map popped up, showing a dense jungle, with a blip in the center. "That's it, kid. The laboratory that's gotta go. It belongs to an old rival of my creator." "Your dad, Dr. Jumba Jookiba?" "Yep…wait, "dad"? Well…yeah, I suppose he's my dad…whatever, kid. That laboratory, and everything in it, has to go. So…he sent me, his best creation, to destroy it."

Nick sighed. "And how do you plan on doing that? You're tough, but you're still just one experiment!"

625 grinned, turning around. "Kid…I don't need ANY help doing this. I can do this on my own just fine. Watch…and learn. Oh, and when I tell you, jump." "Huh?" "From the ship. Okay? Grab one of those parachutes." "Uh…okay…"

Nick was feeling pretty scared right now, but he grabbed a parachute pack that was hanging on the wall and strapped himself in. "Okay, I'm all good, but what about you?" "I'll be fine. Now…brace yourself! We're entering the atmosphere!"

Nick nodded. The ship shook violently for a few minutes, and Nick gripped a chair tightly. They passed through dense pinkish clouds…

Then emerged above a lush, beautiful jungle, with trees that reached to the heavens. About a few miles below and in front of them, there was a huge laboratory complex. 625 grinned. "This is gonna be good!" "Uh…are you gonna pull a "Dr. Strangelove?" "What's that?" "Dr. Strangelove is a movie from my planet." "A movie? Oh, yeah, we got those. What happens in it?" "Well a guy accidentally lands on top of a nuclear warhead in a plane and it falls down, down, with the guy whooping and hollering all the way as it lands on an enemy base." "A guy rides a nuke down through the sky?" "Yep." "Sounds like an interesting movie." "It's probably number #5 on the coolest ways to die." "Well no, I'm not gonna ride anything down…because I'm jumping from this ship." "Huh? Oh…OH. Oh, no!" "Oh, yeah!" 625 said, laughing.

The lab complex grew closer…grew closer…they were diving towards it at incredible speed…

"Okay, time to jump." "But if you crash that thing into the complex, you won't have a way to get back AND you'll hurt the people inside that thing!" "I can find another ride, kid…and as for the people inside, who cares?" With that, 625 wrenched the airlock open, and then jumped inside. Nick heard a "YAHOOOO" as he went flying out of the ship, parachute cord pulled just at the right time. Nick rolled his eyes. "Geez…now I gotta do the right thing…"

Nick looked over at the controls.

"I don't know how to FLY this thing!" he thought. "I've GOTTA jump!...but…those people inside…"

Nick looked at his feet. The lab complex was coming up faster all the time…

"I'm sorry." Nick said softly, running to the airlock with his parachute. He jumped out of the ship and pulled the cord. A jerk, a brief shot of pain, and then he began floating down to the dense jungle below. He looked over at the lab complex and at 625, who was watching eagerly. The spaceship collided with the laboratory, and in a bright flash of light, much of it was leveled. Flames shot up from the wreckage, and smoke filled the air. Screams and moans of pain could be heard all through the jungle, sending several flying animals flying away, brushing by Nick. 625 laughed. "Ha-ha-ha-haaa! Now THAT'S an explosion! I LOVE this job!"

Nick made the sign of the cross with his right hand, a silent send-off for the souls that had just died. Slowly the two drifted down to the ground on their parachutes, finally landing in a grassy clearing a few hundred feet away from the wrecked lab. 625 took off his gear, as did Nick, and the two walked towards the lab. "We need to make sure it's TOTALLY wrecked, and if it's not…we use their own weapons against them." "How?" "This laboratory complex has powerful nuclear weaponry in its basement level. The explosion didn't set off the nukes, but I can." "But…what about…" "Kid, stop caring, and keep walking."

Nick bit his lip, angry at the cold way 625 was treating the aliens that worked at the complex. A few minutes later they'd arrived, and Nick surveyed the damage, which was extremely intense. There were blackened, charred bodies all around. Nick tried hard not to look at them…

What really caught his eye were the aliens in the laboratory suits that were still alive, if just barely. They, like the guard aliens that were also scattered around and groaning, were reptilian in nature, with red skin. They resembled bipedal dinosaurs, and all of them looked in great pain. One was trying to stand up.

"Ugh…oh…my…my head…my baaaack…"

625 flexed his claws. "I hate it when they get back up. It's so annoying." Nick looked at him, horrified. "You wouldn't…" "I would." 625 said, chuckling as he walked toward towards the aliens that were still alive. Nick looked away and covered his ears, but he still could hear screams silenced, and the "SCHLUP" "SWPLORSH" sound of flesh and guts being torn apart violently. Finally 625 whistled. "Get over here, kid. The nuclear weapons cache these guys had is down there." Nick walked past the fresh corpses, not looking at them…okay, failing to not look at them. He felt really sick. He walked up to a huge underground hangar that had been exposed in the crash…all around were littered pod-like nuclear weapons…but…

"They look scrapped." Nick said.

"Ha!" he thought. As you'll say later…karma! Baaaad karma! Karma-karma-karma!

625 spat on the ground and swore. "Blitznack! Every single one is useless! They've all been rendered harmless. I came too late, too…wait…there's still one left…over there!" 625 pointed at a capsule-like pod in the back of the warehouse, which was glowing bright green. Nick felt uneasy. "I don't think you should touch that…" "Kid, relax. I can handle it. I've been tested and tried by Jumba over and over. I can handle a little radiation." "Well something…just…doesn't feel right about that thing…" "Chicken. I'LL get it."

625 hopped down into the hangar and ran over to the capsule, lifting it up. "Hee-yup!" he walked back over, jumped back up to Nick, and then walked over to the center of the lab's wreckage, putting it down. "There! Now I'll just call up another ship, and be outta here!" "Call up another ship?" "Yeah, I got one in reserve for all missions, just in case." 625 took something out of his mouth…a teeny, tiny, button-like machine. "I keep it in my molar." He said. "Classy, huh?" A small antenna sprung up from it, and it began beeping. "And now my ship will come soon." 625 said. "So we just kick back…" he leaned against the nuke, stretching out on the ground and relaxing. "And wait."

"It's not right to murder people." Nick said under his breath. 625 heard it though, and he sighed. "You don't get it kid. This is war." "They were innocent people, and they didn't do anything to you." "You'll understand when you're older kid that those people had to die. Just wait." Nick scowled, brow furrowed in righteous fury. Then he felt a terrible chill go up his spine. The willies! As his step-mom would put it, his soul was trying to escape because something had disturbed it.

Something wasn't right…

Then he realized what.

The nuke had a display screen on its back.

The display screen…was beeping…

"Hey, 625…"

"What now, kid?"

"Is the display screen supposed to be beeping?"

"Yeah, that's normal. It's flashing green, right?"

"Uh…no."

"No?"

"No, it's…it's red, and it's gonna go off! AAAA!"

625 froze instantly in total fear. He'd gone numb. The bomb was gonna go off? He had seconds to live? There was no way he could get to safety in time. The nuke began to beep rapidly, getting faster and faster every moment.

625 covered his eyes with his paws and crouched down, biting his lip. Then it happened.

He was suddenly picked up and pressed close to something warm and fairly firm. He looked up. The kid was looking down at him, grinning bravely.

"Hold on." The kid said. "I don't need your help!" 625 growled. "Why are you helping me anyway? Dumb kid!" He struggled and scratched, but the kid would not let go. "Why are you doing this?" The kid took off towards the jungle, still tightly gripping 625, who wouldn't stop squirming and scratching. The nuke was going to explode in seven…six…

"Because it's the right thing to do." Nick said.

625 stopped moving and looked up at the kid, who just closed his eyes smiled down at the golden-furred experiment, showing all his teeth in a big, beaming grin.

Three…two…one…zero.

A bright flash of light. Intense, biting pain. 625's last thought was "I'm dead" before everything became erased from the area, as nothingness took over.

625 woke up in Dr. Jumba Jookiba's lab on the operating table. He stood up, moaning, in intense pain. "Whuh…whuh…what happened?" "I…I am so glad you are being alive, 625." Said Jumba, his voice cracked and barely audible. "I have been working through the night to save you…and it seems you will live." "What happened? What…my…my paws…my fur…"

His fur was no longer golden, but more of an earthen yellow. His paws, once with razor sharp claws, now were far less muscular, the claws no more than pointed nails now. A chilling feeling rose up in 625.

"What happened to me, doc?" Jumba sighed and brushed back his three single black hairs on his large head. "I am afraid that the radiation affected you greatly, 625. You survived the blast…but the radiation poisoned you. I took off for Turo as soon as your signal cut off, and I brought you back here. I operated for a long time to keep you alive…and I am afraid that I had to amputate your extra arms, to stop the spread of infection. I had to change much of your body. Your ear, your muscles, your antennae even…all of those was affected by incredibly high levels of radiation that resulted from the explosion. It is miracle you are even speaking right now."

625 suddenly remembered. "The kid! There was a kid with me! He shielded me from the blast! Where is he? Doc, what happened? What else did you find besides me?" Jumba looked down at the floor. "I am being so very sorry, 625. There was nothing left after the explosion…and I could find no trace of any other being dead OR alive. You were the only thing within a 20 mile radius that wasn't obliterated. If this child did save you from the explosion…it means he perished in doing so."

625 was silent for a few minutes. Then he put his hands to his eyes. "Dumb kid…stupid, stupid kid…" a lone tear flowed down his cheeks, one for each eye. "Stupid kid…had to be noble, didn't you? Dumb kid, dumb…"

He could say no more. Jumba gently lifted him off of the operating table, and onto the floor. 625 walked off, rubbing his eyes.

That dumb kid…

That dumb, stupid…

I didn't deserve it.

…thank you.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Experiment 625_

625 has all of Stitch's powers. He is bulletproof, fireproof, can see in the dark, etc. However, he is also selfish, and becomes a lazy coward, eventually only caring about enjoying video games, television…and making sandwiches. He makes the best ones this side of the galaxy! He's kind of an anti-hero, and is always flip-flopping between good and evil.


	4. Let's Try That One More Time

**CHAPTER THREE**

LET'S TRY THAT ONE MORE TIME…

So…I'm dead.

Weird.

I feel…light. Very light. I could jump up and fly if I wanted to!

Hey…wait…what about my mission? I have to…

"ABOUT TIME YOU REMEMBERED."

Huh? What do you mean?

"YOU'VE BEEN FLOATING IN LIMBO FOR HOURS."

Limbo?

"YOU'RE IN THE ENDLESS ABYSS."

I didn't go to hell, did I?

"NO. YOU'RE JUST NOT MEANT TO GO ANYWHERE YET…EXCEPT TO KAUAI."

Oh, right! But wait…so…did I die?

"NO, ACTUALLY. YOU SURVIVED. BUT I MOVED YOU HERE."

How could I survive a nuclear explosion?

"YOU ALMOST DIDN'T. BUT LUCKILY YOUR NEW POWER SAVED YOU."

Huh?

"BEHOLD."

Suddenly Nick seemed to open his eyes for the first time. It was white all around. There, in midair, was a floating dagger.

Is this a dagger I see before me?

"CUT THE SHAKESPEARE. TAKE THE DAGGER."

Okay. Now what?

"POKE YOUR FINGER."

Uh…okay…hey…the knife broke! How the heck…

"YOU ARE NOW CAPABLE OF ENDURING THE MOST DEADLIEST OF WOUNDS."

Wow! How'd that happen?

"YOU REACHED OUT WITH YOUR HEART, AND IT RESONATED WITH THE HEART THAT HELD THE POWER OF ENDURANCE."

Wait…you mean…because I saved 625's life, I was blessed with his power to take a licking and keep on kicking?

"BASICALLY."

Sweeeeet! David's gonna FREAK when I…wait…right, the mission! I have to go to Kauai!

"YES. BUT FIRST…YOU NEED TO BLEND IN A BIT MORE…"

Nick suddenly felt…smaller…shorter…

"YOU ARE NOW 10."

Nick looked down at his legs, feet and hands. They were all smaller, his skin less worn. He was ten again, although still taller than most kids his age were.

"Cool!" He said, his voice returned once again to its youthful, light-toned soprano self.

NOW…GO!"

Suddenly Nick was falling…falling…falling…down towards a beautiful little island in the pacific. He hollered as he fell down, but it was a good holler, and if he had a cowboy hat, he would wave it in the air as he went down.

"THIS…IS…AWEEEESOOOOOME!"

The voice smiled to itself.

"Good luck…you'll need it."

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_The Voice_

The Voice is an omnipotent power (presumably) who has decided that Nick is destined for great things. REALLY great things. It's hard to tell what type of person "Voicey's" voice belongs to, for The Voice sounds ageless, with a touch of humor. However, it does seem to be masculine…but is it really a guy speaking, or a girl that sounds like one? Or is The Voice even humanlike at all? All that's known is that it cares about people, and enjoys seeing good deeds done.


	5. Lilo and Stitch

**CHAPTER FOUR**

LILO AND STITCH

A recently-turned-10-year-old Hawaiian girl with long black hair in a red Hawaiian dress with white flowers on it ran down the sidewalk, her dog close behind her. However this dog was not a dog. It was an illegal genetic experiment, experiment 626…renamed "Stitch" by its best friend and owner, Lilo Pelekai.

Stitch looked like a koala in many aspects. Long, big ears, a big nose, sharp claws…but he had blue skin. He had dark blue markings on his back, and retractable antennae. He had spikes on his back that also were retracted into his body, as well as extra arms that were currently hidden. He had big black eyes, and a big smile. Currently he and Lilo were on a big mission…tracking down Cannonball, a "cousin" of Stitch's, and a fellow experiment.

Oh, I almost forgot. You're probably wondering how the two met. It was pretty simple.

Dr. Jumba Jookiba, Stitch's creator, had been found guilty of illegal genetic experimentation, and had been locked up. The evidence used against him? His own experiment, Stitch. Stitch had managed to escape custody, though, and had fled through space to Earth (by accident) and had landed right on Kauai.

The Galactic Federation had offered Jumba his freedom in exchange for Stitch's capture. He said yes, but since someone needed to keep him under control, the Grand Councilwoman of the Galactic Federation assigned Agent Pleakley, an "expert" on Earth, to go with him to capture Stitch.

Stitch realized pretty quickly that if he didn't want to get captured, he needed cover. Enter Lilo, a lonely, eccentric little Hawaiian girl whose parents had died in a car crash a few years ago. She and her sister Nani went to the pound to get a puppy…and guess who was at the pound, disguised as one?

Stitch was therefore adopted, and although at first he only considered Lilo to be a human shield, he soon began to care for her, and to think of her as family. As _ohana_.

But just when things were looking up, Jumba and Pleakley decided to use more drastic measures. (They had been fired, and now Jumba could do things HIS way). This meant that Lilo was no longer someone Stitch could hide behind. Worse still, Captain Gantu of the Galactic Federation, (whom Stitch had escaped FROM) went to Earth to capture Stitch himself.

What happened was this: Lilo's house blew up, Stitch revealed himself to be an alien, and both Lilo AND Stitch got captured by Gantu, who didn't care one ounce about the little girl's safety. Stitch escaped again, but Lilo didn't. Nani went looking for Lilo, and found Stitch, who was quickly captured by Jumba and Pleakley. Just before they took him away, Stitch suddenly said one word to a grief-stricken Nani…_ohana_. Everyone was stunned.

"_Ohana _means family. Family means…"

"Nobody gets left behind."

"Or forgotten. Yeah…"

Stitch then asked Jumba to help rescue Lilo. Jumba agreed. (Stitch is VERY persuasive.) The rescue worked, and Lilo was saved…then the Grand Councilwoman and a whole lot of troops showed up, to do what Jumba and Pleakley and Gantu couldn't: capture Stitch. But although the Grand Councilwoman WANTED to let Stitch stay with his new _ohana_, rules were rules.

But wait! Just in time, Lilo pulled out the adoption papers that signified that she was Stitch's legal owner. If they took Stitch away, they were stealing, and, as Lilo's social worker Cobra Bubbles put it, "Aliens are all about rules". So Stitch was allowed to stay, and Lilo's family, the caretakers of Stitch, were from then on under official protection of the Galactic Federation.

Happy ending right? Everything works out! Jumba and Pleakley stayed on Earth to become "Uncle" Jumba and "Aunt" Pleakley, and Lilo had a new friend. Yeah, a happy ending.

But Stitch became lonely, because he felt all alone in the universe. No brothers or sisters. Even Lilo, who lost her parents, had a big sister.

But guess what…Stitch DID have family. He was experiment 626, remember? Jumba had made 626 illegal genetic experiments, and were keeping the others locked away in a special pod container.

Enter Gantu, now under the pay of an evil madman named Jacques von Hamsterivel, who (until he supposedly died) was Jumba's old partner, and who had PAID Jumba for the experiments. Gantu kidnapped Jumba and Hamsterviel demanded ALL of the experiments in exchange for Jumba's freedom. Long story short…the experiments got set loose. 623 experiment pods (Two experiments, one named Sparky and one known as 625 had been freed earlier) fell to Hawaii, all able to be activated with just a single drop of water.

But the prospect of living on an island filled with deadly and evil experiments didn't scare Lilo and Stitch. They volunteered to find every single one and to find their "one true place", turning them from bad to good. To call it a daunting challenge wouldn't do any justice. Nevertheless, Lilo's confidence was high. "It'll be like an Easter egg hunt." She had said. And so Lilo and Stitch now regularly saved Hawaii and probably the whole world every single week! Luckily Lilo and Stitch were very good at finding things, and although Gantu was still looking for the pods for Dr. Hamsterviel, Stitch could always kick his butt.

Sure Gantu has more combat experience, was trained in intergalactic martial arts, and is a crack shot…but Stitch is just faster, tougher and stronger than him. AND he's smarter. Stitch can think faster than a supercomputer, is bulletproof and fireproof, can lift objects 3000 times his size and can see in infrared, and ultraviolet light. Pretty tough little guy, huh?

One problem…he can't swim. His molecular density is just too great. AND he has extremely sensitive eardrums.

Lilo herself is pretty clever, and is very good at bringing out the best in people. She's great at photography too, and is an excellent swimmer. Unfortunately she's not even 10 years old, in fact she's only 9.

Without each other, the two of them would NEVER be able to capture as many experiments as they do. They need each other. It's a nice feeling, being needed.

And as of right now, the two were running after a pink-furred experiment with a HUGE butt and stubby fingers. His name was Cannonball, and he was an expert at making huge, planet-destroying waves. He'd been rehabilitated to now make awesome waves at the beach, but recently rehabilitated experiments had been acting up again, and now Lilo and Stitch had to capture them all over again. They were hot on his bouncing trail, as he bounded up and down, sending mailboxes, cars and bystanders flying into the air with every might bounce on his huge butt.

Following close behind was a bipedal humanoid with a whale-like face and sky-blue eyes, fingering a plasma pistol and wearing a black battle shirt with black shorts. He had elephant-like feet, and strong muscles. He was carrying a clear, glass-like capsule on his back. Following behind him in a leisurely stroll was experiment 625, his "partner" who did little more than make affectionate comments and hang out around Gantu's ship. However, he happened to make incredibly wonderful sandwiches. He was currently stuffing his face with a chicken parmesan sandwich with some light garlic dressing, and had another sandwich in his hands, a 12-inch ham sandwich with extra American cheese.

"Mmphh…grhmppphg…mpfhhugh…gulp! Man, that hits the spot!" "Will you quit eating those sandwiches and help me?" "You're a big boy now, Gantu. You don't need MY help!" "It would still be greatly APPRECIATED!" "Well I'll keep that in mind…hey, the deli's got salami on rye sandwiches, look! Hey, wait for me!"

Lilo huffed and puffed as she ran after Cannonball, Stitch right behind. "Of all the days for us to not bring the Dune Buggy, huh Stitch?" "Ih." Said Stitch. "We'd better hurry, Cannonball's headed for the beach!" "Ih!" Stitch suddenly bolted ahead and jumped on top of a moped that was parked by a bench. He hotwired it in a couple of seconds. "Zzz-zzz! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Hey, get off my bike, you…whatever you are!" Lilo hopped on the moped and put the helmet that had been left on the bike. Stitch grinned and started the engine. "Sorry, we'll bring it right back!" shouted Lilo as the moped took off. The man who owned it groaned. "_Oe_! Just what I need…"

At that moment, Gantu came running by. "What the? Who the heck are you?" Gantu frowned down at the human, annoyed that Lilo and her "abomination" had gotten away. "None of your business, human!" he snapped. "Do you have a vehicle I could commandeer?" "Well I've got my motorcycle inside my shop, but I don't think you'd fit on it…" "Give it to me." "Okay, you can rent it. Twenty bucks an hour." "TWENTY DOLLARS? Why you-ergh! Oh…fine." Gantu rifled through his pockets and pulled out a crumpled twenty. The man took it. "Thanks. I'll bring it out. Hey, how come you're so tall?"

Gantu stammered. "Uh-I-um-I-er…that is to say…er…I…I'm Samoan." "Oh." Said the man, who went inside the shop to get Gantu the motorcycle. Gantu groaned and sat down on the bench nearby. "I can't get a break today…625, what do you think you're doing?" "I'm just getting a salami sandwich!" "You just had two!" "Want I should get you something?" "…egg salad. Lightly toasted." "You got it, chief!"

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Lilo Pelekai_

When she was just five years old, Lilo Pelekai lost her parents in a terrible car accident. She eventually became very eccentric, and kept driving her "friends" away. It wasn't until Stitch came that she truly found a friend who accepted her for who she was, and she's gotten a little more social-conscious. A little. She's talented at photography, has seen TONS of sci-fi and horror movies, and is very good at bringing out the good in others.

_Stitch, Experiment 626_

Stitch can lift objects 3000 times his size, is bullet-proof, fire-proof, and can see in the dark, and can think faster than a supercomputer. He's basically a perfect killing machine…but finding Lilo helped him realize that his one true place was with people who loved him, not hurting others. He's still learning English, and manners, but don't be fooled by his sometimes wild nature…he's a nice guy, really! Just keep him away from coffee.

_Gantu, Former Captain of the Galactic Federation Armada_

Gantu used to be a captain of the Galactic Federation Armada, but he was humiliated and then beaten by Lilo and Stitch, and was fired for his negligence. Then he went to work for an intergalactic villain known as Hamsterviel, and has been working for him ever since. There are signs that he'd rather be spending his days surfing or as a cop than as an evil henchman, but he's stuck in his job. He's had a bad childhood too.


	6. An Unusual Start to the Day

**CHAPTER FIVE**

AN UNUSUAL START TO THE DAY

**3:00 at night, about 8 hours ago, at the Pelekai household…**

"ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…"

"You're snoring again."

"I am not making congested noise resulting from stuffed-up nasal cavity. ZZZ…ZZZ…"

"Yes you are!"

"Nonsense! Noodle man is needing hearing checked. ZZZ…ZZZ…"

"Now you'd better cut it out, or…or…"

"ZZZ…ZZZ…"

"Or…or I'll tell!"

"Oh, am being SO scar-ed. Ha! ZZZ…ZZZ…"

"Oh, you just wait until I learn a yoga technique that'll teach me how to kick butt!"

**About four hours later…**

"Breakfast, everyone! Come and get it!"

A young Hawaiian woman with black hair and dark brown eyes set down a few plates of scrambled eggs and bacon. Some guava juice was set out as well. Lilo and Stitch were the first ones down, scarfing down their breakfast at top speed.

"Guys, not so fast!" the young woman, Nani Pelekai, said. She was Lilo's sister. "You'll get-" "Hic! Hic-hic-hic-hic-hic-hic-hiccup!"

"Hiccups."

"Hic-hic!"

Jumba sat down, with Pleakley right behind. He saw Stitch hiccupping madly and chuckled. "Heh-heh…is very funny, seeing 626 stricken with these "hiccups" you speak of. Although are merely result of too much air being forced into body, is still interesting to observe." Dr. Jumba Jookiba swallowed a piece of bacon and started chewing. "Well how does one CURE them?" asked Former Galactic Federation Agent Wendy Pleakley. (The name "Wendy" on his planet means "Brave warrior".) "Are the hiccups contagious?" "Of course not." Said Nani rolling her eyes. "Just get Stitch to drink some water." "From the far side of the glass!" said Lilo, handing Stitch a glass of water. "Taka." Said Stitch. "Hic-hic-hic!"

"Right, the far si-huh?"

SPLOSH!

"LILO! STITCH! There's water all over the floor!" "Sorry…oh, look, time to go catch those experiments! ByeNanitalktoyoulaterseeya!" "Bye-bye!" said Stitch, hiccupping once before running out the door with Lilo. Nani rubbed her head. "Aw…aspirin, where's the aspirin again?"

Jumba took a swig of guava juice and swished it around in his mouth before swallowing. He was almost bald, with three black hairs on his ovalish head. His body was mostly purple, with dark pink skin on his chest and stomach, and under his arms. He had four eyes, two main ones and two smaller ones. He was quite hefty, but also very strong and durable. He posed as Lilo's uncle.

Pleakley had three legs, and a single eye. His hands had three elongated fingers, and he had a small antenna on his head. His skin was yellowish green, and he had two purple tongues. He posed as Lilo's aunt, and as a result, was frequently wearing dresses and wigs. He was feeling very happy today…he'd ordered something very special in the mail.

But both Jumba and Pleakley had been a little bit weirded out by a strange dream.

Their dreams had been exactly the same, which only added to the weirdness. It had started out simply: both were facing a mirror. Then they saw a human boy appear in the mirror, a boy they'd never seen before. He had slightly curly hair, a "Spring Break" t-shirt, hazel eyes, white sneakers and jeans on, and he was looking right at them. The eyes seemed to peer into their souls.

Then a voice had spoken. An ageless voice.

"THE CHOSEN COMES. CAN YOU TRUST YOUR HEART?"

"What?" both had said.

"CAN YOU TRUST YOUR HEART?"

"It was hard for me to do so at first, but with _ohana_'s help, I am trusting my heart." Said Jumba.

"Well…yeah! I usually do, why not this time!"

"GOOD. BE PREPARED. WHEN THE CHOSEN ARRIVES, HE BRINGS BOTH HOPE AND DANGER, BOTH HAPPINESS AND TRIALS. STAY STRONG AND TRUST YOUR HEART."

Then they'd woken up, and had immediately said "Woah!". Pleakley had looked down from his bunk bed at Jumba below. "I had the WEIRDEST dream!" "You were dreaming unusual dreams as well?" "What did you dream?" "An ageless voice spoke to me about…" "About trusting your heart?" "Yes! You too?" "Yeah!" "Did you see a boy in a mirror?" "Yeah!" "Hmm…am wondering what this is meaning…"

Soon they would find out just what it meant. They would get their socks knocked off. But first things first.

"Have some coffee, Jumba."

"Bleaugh! Not a chance. Am disgusted with brown, caffeinated earth beverage. Tastes like mud."

"It's what ALL human adults drink in the mornings!"

"I would rather have a…what is word? Oh, yes. Soda."

"Adults do NOT drink soda in the morning! Not normal ones!"

"Big girl, where are we keeping the soda?"

"Stitch drank it all last night."

"Ahh…no wonder he kept bouncing off the walls."

"Oh, that reminds me, when are you gonna be able to fix the window?"

"Uh…will get to work on it right after I am checking mail on computer."

"Just don't put it off, Jumba."

Jumba nodded and stood up, heading back for his room. Then he noticed that Pleakley was doing a very unsual pose on top of his chair. "What exactly are you doing?" "Yoga, remember? It's VERY relaxing! It releases my inner spirit and soothes my soul!" "Can it conjure up something good to drink?" "I dunno, I've only seen about six episodes of "Yoga and You". I'll let you know if I come across anything." "Fine, fine."

Jumba rolled his eyes. "Silly noodle man." "I heard that!" Jumba laughed and ran up the stairs, as Pleakley stuck all of his tongues out and attempted another complex yoga position. Unfortunately…

"Uh…Nani…"

"Yes, Pleakley?"

"Um…I think I'm stuck."

"What?"

"I can't…ergh! Pull my leg out, and my arm's kind of…ow-OW! Help!"

"Pleakley, I have to get to work in ten minutes! Can't you do your yoga in the afternoon?" "But the morning rays of sunlight are perfecting for enlightening my spiritual being!" "That's it! No more yoga for you! From now on, you're gonna be helping me with the housework in the morning instead of being glued to the boob tube!" "But Nani, my soul hasn't reached nirvana yet!" "No buts! Now untie yourself and help me with the mopping!"

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Wendy Pleakley_

Commonly called Pleakley, he used to be an agent of the Galactic Alliance, but was left on Earth, a planet that he's dedicated a lot of his life to studying…though he doesn't know that much, really. He's learning though, and he's a really nice…if not neat-freaky…person. He refers to Stitch sometimes as "a little monster" and enjoys watching daytime TV and is a sucker for passing fads.

_Nani Pelekai_

It was hard for Nani to lose her parents, and it's even harder for her to have to work through the grief and take care of her little sister. Nani's level-headed and often a voice of reason, but she's got her own doubts that she never lets show…except with her unofficial boyfriend, David Kawena. She cooks a lot of healthy food, and knows martial arts…AND is a good hula dancer.


	7. The Boy From the Sky

**CHAPTER SIX**

THE BOY FROM THE SKY

At the beach, people were enjoying a nice, quiet Saturday in December, spending what would normally be a chilly morning out on the beach. Kids played in the sand, senior citizens sat back on towels and got suntans, hormone-addled teenagers ran through the surf with their girl and boyfriends, and everyone just generally had a good time.

Then someone noticed something weird.

A little kid was the first to see it. The toddler looked up at the sky and said, for all to hear, "Mommy, look! The kid's falling down!" "Well, accidents happen, honey." said the mom, who was reading "The National Enquirer" article "Elvis in love triangle with Barbara Streisand and Bigfoot". "No, he's falling up THERE." Said the kiddy, who was standing up in his little shorts and pointing at the sky. The mom, wanting to get back to her article, decided to give it a quick look…

And she screamed as she saw a 10-year old kid fall through the air, heading towards the ocean. Everyone turned to look at her. "AAAA! AAAA! AAAAA!" the woman kept screaming, pointing at the falling boy. Everyone saw the boy falling and several screams went out. The lifeguard was stunned. How the heck? No planes were flying over the island! What was going on?

At that moment, Cannonball bounded onto the beach, with Lilo and Stitch, on mounted moped, right behind. The rouge experiment giggled, and bounded up towards the ocean, going high into the air…and seeing the boy fall down towards the ocean. He stopped bouncing, and sat there on his butt, mesmerized by the sight. Stitch stopped the moped and ran up to him, with Lilo right behind. "Cousin naga cause-huh?" Stitch saw the kid, gasping. "Eee!" he said, putting his clawed hands up to his mouth in shock. Lilo gasped as she saw the boy falling. "Stitch, why's he falling down through the air?" "Naga nota." "I gotta help him, Stitch!" "Stitch help!" "You can't swim, remember?" "Ih, ih…" "Stay here." Lilo took off her dress and ran towards the ocean in her swim trunks, which she had been keeping under her dress (she had planned to go surfing with Stitch later) and ran for the ocean.

Meanwhile Nick plummeted through the air, fully aware that he was in incredible danger. A million thoughts could have been going through his head. All that he was thinking was this:

I wonder…

How big a wave will I make?

The answer was this: A HUGE wave. The minute he hit the water a huge, 50-foot wave rose from the water, heading for the beach. People screamed and ran. The lifeguard grabbed onto a child who had fallen and was bawling and lifted him up, carrying him towards his fleeing mother. Stitch gulped. Lilo kept running for the ocean, desperately trying to reach the kid. Gantu and 625 had just arrived, and 625 had a salami sandwich in his hands. Gantu looked at the approaching wave.

"Oh my." was all the former captain could get out, and then the wave hit.

Luckily nobody was hurt. Stitch coughed and spluttered as he stood up, shaking off all the water he could. Cannonball was now in a palm tree, blinking slowly, stunned by the force of the wave that had carried him up there. 625 was on his knees, bawling, hands stretched out to the sky as if asking God for some favor. The salami sandwich had fallen to the ground, and was now covered in sand, seaweed, shells and seawater. Stitch growled and stepped towards 625, who was sobbing uncontrollably. "Duh-duh-don't hit me! I'm-I'm in muh-mourning! Oh, baby…why? WHY!" shouted 625 to the sky. Gantu looked down at his mouth, where a fish was stuck, flapping its tail around and hitting his cheeks, stinging them. He spat it out, and it flopped on the beach, back into the ocean.

Lilo swam towards the boy, who was now floating in the ocean. She swam right up to him, and gasped…

He was unharmed. Not bleeding. Not sore.

"Oh boy…feelin' dizzy here…"

Just a little dizzy!

"Wow." Lilo said, mouth agape. Nick looked at her, and saw Lilo Pelekai, up close and in person, for the first time.

"Wow." He said.

The two stared at each other for a while. Then Nick got upright and took a deep breath. "Well…that was unexpected." "Uh…how exactly did you survive that?" "I can take a licking and keep on kicking." "But how?" "Well, I'm not completely sure. Uh, do you mind if we continue this conversation on the shore?" "Oh, right! Sure! But what's your name?"

Nick extended his wet hand. "I'm Nicholas Michael Grey, but call me Nick. You're Lilo Pelekai, right?" "Uh…yeah…" said Lilo as she shook hands. "How did you know?" "It's an interesting story, but I'll tell you everything on the shore." Nick swam towards shore in a freestyle stroke, and Lilo swam right after him.

Stitch watched Nick approach in total amazement. Who WAS this kid from the sky?

Both girl and boy stepped onto the beach, and Nick shook off as much water from his shirt as he could. He extended his hand towards Stitch. "Hey there. I'm Nicholas Michael Grey, but call me Nick. You're Stitch, right? Experiment 626?"

Stitch had ALMOST taken Nick's hand, but when he heard the words "Experiment 626" he immediately withdrew it, growling at Nick. Lilo gasped. 625 looked up, away from his sandwich, and gasped at the sight of Nick. Gantu blinked slowly, and Cannonball hopped down from the tree.

"Wait…how do you his name?"

"I know a lot of things. I'll start at the beginning…"

"You're…you're the kid! You're younger, but I still can tell that…but…tt…it can't be you! You can't still be _alive_!"

Now this REALLY got Stitch worried. His cousin KNEW who the kid was? What was going on here?

Gantu rubbed his head. He wasn't sure what to do. Then he remembered Cannonball, who was still up in the tree. "Ah ha!" he said, pulling out his blaster and arming it with a net capsule. "I've got you, you little trog!" He aimed it at Cannonball, who quivered in fear. Then…

THWHACK!

Gantu was sent flying through the air, and he landed in a sand castle, groaning. Stitch grinned and put down the lifeguard chair that he had used. "Yu poorma dissy!" He said, sticking his tongue out at Gantu. "Hey, my mother is a _saint_!" shouted Gantu. 625 kept staring at Nick. "How…how did you survive? I thought…that…that…" "Well what can I say? I'm tough. I owe it to you, 625." "What?" "You miserable abomination! You're finished!" Gantu stood back up, growling angrily. Nick looked over at Lilo. "Lilo, I'll go get Cannonball down. You and Stitch can handle the big dummy, right?" "Yeah." "Okay, it's a plan!"

Stitch jumped on Gantu and began punching him. The two went down in the sand, and Gantu found himself being lifted up…up…and then thrown into the ocean. Stitch clapped his hands free of sand and grinned again. "Moorcheeba." He said. "Yeah, that was very nice." Said Lilo. Gantu spluttered as he dog-paddled away. "I'll be back, trogs!" 625 finally stopped staring and decided to get outta there before Stitch went after him. He ran back into the forest, and Gantu soon followed after swimming up to the shore a few hundred feet AWAY from the freaky blue alien.

Meanwhile, Nick climbed up the tree towards Cannonball, though he wasn't too good a climber, and he kept slipping, which made Cannonball chortle with laughter. "Ha-ha! Laugh it up! So funny I forgot to laugh! Now come on down, and stop being evil!" Cannonball stuck his tongue out. "Hey!" Nick said. Then he had an idea. He got down from the tree and gave it a hard kick.

Cannonball fell down…down…right on Nick, who collapsed to the ground. He was now staring at a purple-skinned bear's huge derriere. The song "I like big butts and I cannot lie" came to mind. "Get off!" Nick hollered, shoving Cannonball off. The experiment sniggered. "Yeah, real funny, wise…huh?"

Nick suddenly noticed something very weird…his hands were glowing a brown aura!

"Weiiiird." He said. Cannonball hopped over, looking at his hands and poking them. "Hey, quit it." Nick said. Cannonball stopped, pouting. "Now, are you gonna keep being evil, or are you going to play nice again?" Cannonball stuck his tongue out, and started hopping towards the water…but Nick grabbed him and pulled him back. "Okay, that's it. I'm gonna kick your butt!" "Wait! Don't! Don't kick his butt!" Lilo ran up to Nick. "He's not really bad!" "Look, I know he's not really bad, but he's being a very bad boy!"

Stitch walked over to Cannonball and looked him over. "Hmm…" "Well, we'd better get him to Jumba." Said Lilo. "ERGH! He's heavy! Hey Stitch, do you think you can carry your cousin?" "Ih." "Good." Stitch picked up his cousin, who kept squirming around. Stitch barked out something and Cannonball stopped, pouting. "What did he just say?" Nick asked Lilo. "He said "Quit it or else!". "Ah. Well then let's get going to your house!" Nick said cheerily. He walked off into town, heading for the road that led to Lilo's house. Lilo put her hands on her hips and frowned. "Who is this kid? How does he know about you Stitch, and where's he even _from_?" "Meega naga nota." Said Stitch.

**AND NOW…A LITTLE HELPFUL INFORMATION!**

"Hey! Nick Grey here! Now I know you probably want to know what exactly Stitch is SAYING when he speaks in that alien language. Well he's speaking Galactic, or rather a vulgar vernacular of the language. The language that most aliens (and that humans use) is called Basic, and it's something that all beings are capable of speaking in some way. Stitch says a lot of things, so here are some translations (to some degree) about what he's saying. More translations will appear later in the story!"

"Meega Nala Queesta!"- **Unbelievably** vulgar and disgusting insult that's too awful to translate.

"Yu poorma dissy!"-A _very_ nasty insult directed at the target's mother.

"Naga nota."-I don't know.

"Meega sota."-I'm sorry.

"Ih"- Yes.

"Naga."- No.

"Aggaba!"- Stop!

"Ogata!"- Ouch!

"Taka." Thanks.

"Oketaka!"- Okay, thanks!

"Goobaja!"- Let's go!

"Meega-o-itume!"- Get away from me!

"Moorcheeba"- Very nice.

"Mockeecha"- Mine.

"Iky!"- Yuck!

"Ah-chooga-moopa!"- Everybody out!

"Taka"- Thanks!

"Feeboogoo"- Bring it on.

"Aggaba"- Stop.

"Naga takabah!"- No way!

"Naga bootifa"- Not cool.

"Aka boocha!"- Let me out!

"Achi babba"- Friend.

"Emba chua"- You said it.

"Kata baka-dooka!"- May I be destructive!

"Eegalagoo!"- Wow!

"Gaba ika tasoopa?"- What's the big deal?

"Crabba snabba"- Uh-oh.

"Akootah"- Let's dig!

"Meeo dakka ingatta poju nagga nagga"- I can catch an experiment _without_ you!

"Akata!"- Attack!


	8. Just Who IS This Kid?

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

JUST WHO _IS_ THIS KID?

"Cannot be! Is being simply impossible!" "It's…it's the kid from our dreams!" "Huh? You guys dreamed about me? Cool." "Woah, woah, hold on, hold on! Lilo, Stitch, you two mean to tell me that this kid fell from the sky?" "Yep!" "Ih!" "Uh huh! I guess I'm really lucky that the ocean broke my fall, ha ha ha!" "Ugh…as if my life wasn't hectic enough…now kids are falling from the sky!" "Hey, if you're lucky, maybe it'll start raining men!"

Nani blinked…then chuckled. "Heh. Funny. Um…anyway…what's your name?" Nick drew himself to full height and said, with pride, "I'm Nicholas Michael Grey from New England, and I'm a superhero!"

Silence.

Then…

"A…a superhero?" said Nani. Lilo broke into a huge grin. "Cooool! He's a superhero! No wonder he didn't get hurt from the fall!" Jumba rubbed his huge chin. "So…you have incredible powers?" "Yep! You should have seen me back in Viewtiful Joe's world, when I was Dynamic Nick! I really kicked butt!" "Oh really? Wait…who is this Joe and why is he…uh…what is term?" "Viewtiful." "Interesting name." "Yeah, it is. See, I'm from another world, and one day I was watching this movie based on the video game Viewtiful Joe with my family at the theater when all of a sudden-"

Pleakley gasped. Jumba took a step back, and Stitch suddenly growled. "You…you are being fellow alien?" Jumba asked. Nick shook his head. "No, no, I'm from Earth. Just a different one. As I was saying, I was watching the Viewtiful Joe movie when all of a sudden the movie's villains burst out of the screen and kidnap my family and my best friend Matt! So I ran after them into the silver screen, and there I encountered Viewtiful Joe and his friends, who gave me a v-watch that granted me incredible powers! I used them to get my family and Matt back and to save all of Movieland, and the whole world, from a really dangerous supervillain! Pretty cool, huh?"

Everyone slowly nodded. They were entranced by the storytelling power Nick had.

"But I didn't just have v-watch powers. See, the villain behind the whole kidnapping crushed my v-watch, and I was pretty powerless. Then, wouldn't you know, the villains I'd all beaten and my allies in Movieland showed up and roused my fighting spirit with a song, and then it happened! Through the will of those around me, through my passionate heart, a miracle took place…I unlocked my hidden powers, and I totally kicked the bad guy's butt! AND I got my v-watch back! Once I'd won though, this omnipotent voice spoke up, and it said that I had to leave...or stay their in Movieland forever. I chose to leave, because I although it was really, REALLY fun being a superhero...my family needed me, and Movieland already had great superheroes. But now I'm here, in another so-called fantasy world, probably because your world needs serious saving!"

Jumba's mouth was wide open in a gape. Pleakley blinked slowly, and Stitch scratched his head, mystified by everything. Lilo let out a long whistle, and Nani just stood there, looking at Nick.

"Catching flies, Jumba?" Nick wisecracked. Jumba shut his mouth.

"Wait…" Nani finally said. "You said "fantasy worlds". What's that supposed to mean?" "Well, where I come from, the Earth I'm from, you guys are all characters made by Disney. You first appeared in the movie "Lilo and Stitch", then in "Stitch! The Movie" and then in "Lilo and Stitch, the Series". In the first movie, Lilo and Stitch meet for the first time, and at the end Stitch gets to stay on Earth with his _ohana_. In the second movie, Stitch's cousins get released over Hawaii, and Lilo and Stitch volunteer to find them all. It's like an easter egg hunt for you, right?" Lilo nodded slowly. Jumba's mouth was so wide you could fit a watermelon in it. "In the series, you and Stitch continue to look for the experiments and are always trying to find their one true place. You're always having adventures together while searching for them. I've seen all the movies and I watch the series, so I know a lot."

"So…we're not real where you come from?" "Yeah, technically. People just think you're not real, but Joe and the others know that they really exist." "Explain the logic underlying your conclusion." said Jumba, who was shaking a bit.

"Pinch yourself." Nick said simply.

Stitch however, beat Jumba to it.

_"OW!"_

"Hee-hee-hee."

"See? You're here, in the flesh, aren't you? Which means you exist. That's good enough for God and it's good enough for me, just like it was good enough for Joe and the others. Just because you're in another plane of existence doesn't mean you don't exist at all."

Jumba sat down in a chair, wiping his sweaty brow. "I…I am needing some time to think…" Pleakley took Nick's arm . "While Jumba's thinking and all that, how about I show you around the house?" "Well, okay!" Nick and Pleakley walked off, leaving the rest in the living room. Finally Lilo spoke up. "Told you he's cool! And since he doesn't have a place to stay…" "Lilo, I'd like him to have somewhere to stay too, but…I don't think it's legal…" "Legal schmegal!" said Lilo. Jumba rocked back and forth in the chair, thinking. "Hmm…hmm…is interesting how he survived fall…" "Yeah, and I saw something weird when he touched Cannonball!" "What did you see, little girl?" "His hand started glowing funny…glowing brown, I think."

Jumba's eyes widened. "Glowing a brown aura? His hand? You are sure?" "Yep." "Very intriguing." Jumba said, rubbing his chin. Then came a roar from outside. "Come out right now, trogs! We end this today!" Then came a curt reply from Nick. "Oh, will you just get lost, you big dummy!" "What the? Oh, no, don't tell me…Gantu's come to our house to get back at Stitch?" "Or maybe he is after the boy." "His name is NICK." said Lilo, stomping on the ground. Stitch walked to the door and opened it up, looking outside. Sure enough, Gantu was there, angrily shaking his fist at Nick, who was sticking his head out of a bedroom window. Pleakley was cowering behind Nick, and 625 was staring right at Nick, as if seeing more than just a boy.

"Where are the little abominations?"

Nick stuck his tongue out. "Go boil your head! Stitch is my friend!"

"I said, where are they? Answer me!"

"I am! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of _elderberries_!"

Lilo giggled. "He's funny." She said. "Hey, that line is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail!" Nani thought. "But isn't he a bit too young for it?"

"Stop insulting me!"

"No. Now go away, or I will taunt you a second time!"

"All right, you asked for this!"

Gantu went for his gun. Nick's eyes widened. Suddenly a crazy idea popped into his head. He squirmed out the window. Pleakley tried to pull him back, but too late! He jumped off the windowsill, heading for Gantu. Stitch gasped. The kid was crazy! Everyone ran outside to see what was going to happen and were astonished to find that Nick was actually on Gantu's face, punching him over and over.

"Looks like you've got something on your face, "captain"…MY FISTS!"

"GET OFF!"

"Kiyaaaah!"

"Get off my face!"

"Okay."

"Get off my back!"

"Make up your mind!" Nick said, sniggering.

"I said get off!"

Finally Nick was pulled off, and he swung his fists in vain at the air, while Gantu chuckled. "Not so tough now, are you, you little earthworm!" "No…but HE is." Nick said, pointing at the ground. Gantu looked down.

Nothing. He looked up…

Nick was now on his hand. "Stupidhead." He said, jumping into the air. "Have a taste of THIS!"

His entire body became encased in a glowing aura of brown, and Nick crouched and stretched his arms across his chest as he plummeted towards Gantu, who was in shock. "What the-?" "GAIA CRUSH!" Nick screamed. He slammed into the ground right in front of Gantu, which sent out shockwaves that hit Gantu, sending him flying into the jungle. 625 jumped away just in time.

"How…how did you do that, kid?" 625 asked. Nick shrugged as he stood up. "I dunno. Just came to mind." Gantu groaned from inside the jungle. "My baaaaack…I'll…I'll get you for this…625, we're going. NOW." 625 looked at the jungle, then at Nick, and then ran off to go join Gantu. Nick sighed and plopped down on the ground. "Boy, I'm tired." He said. "Doing that is gonna take some getting used to."

Everyone stared at Nick, completely amazed at what had just happened. Lilo looked at Nani. "Please can't he stay?" Nani went inside. "I'm calling Cobra." She said. "You know…something tells me that he's not an ordinary Earthling." Pleakley said. "I am having hunch that for once in your life you are right." Jumba said. "Yeah, I'm…**hey**!"


	9. An Interesting Development, Pt1

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT, PART ONE

Nick was sitting on the couch, next to Lilo and Stitch. He twiddled his thumbs in nervousness. Lilo twirled her hair, and Stitch was fast asleep…not. He was only pretending, secretly watching Nick to make sure the kid didn't do anything. He didn't trust him.

Nani had called up Cobra and had told him that a ten-year-old boy without any parents wanted to live with them. Not only that, he was a very unusual boy and you had better come see him for yourself. So Cobra had agreed, and he was on his way.

Jumba was sipping some guava juice, and Pleakley was vacuuming upstairs, belting out a stanza of something called "The Ballad of Bon". Nick couldn't understand anything he was saying, partly because of the vacuum, but mostly because he had no idea what many of the words Pleakley was using in the song MEANT.

He asked Jumba what Pleakley was singing. "Noodle man is singing song about ballet dancer warrior." "Oh." Nick said, and left it at that. "Hey, since Cannonball's still evil, what are we gonna do with him?" Jumba scratched his leg. "Well we currently have him lock-ed up in special holding cell." "Where?" "Uh…at creepy man in black's place." "You dumped him with Cobra Bubbles?" Nick asked indignantly. "Uh…heh heh…"

Lilo seemed to be trying to work up the courage to ask something, but she wouldn't say it. So Nick finally asked her. "Is something on your mind, Lilo?" "Well…uh…this is kind of a dumb question, but uh…you watch Monty Python?" "Yeah." Nick responded in a heartbeat. "I saw my first Monty Python movie with my dad at couple years ago." "Wow. You're lucky. My sister hardly ever lets me watch their movies." "Did you see "Holy Grail"?" "Yep! Did you see "And Now for Something Completely Different?" "Oh, I LOVE that one!" "Really? Me too!" "Hey, hey, did you see "Life of Brian?" "No, but I want to." "Me too!"

A knock at the door. "I'll get it." Nick said, running to it immediately. He opened it up, and blinked at the sight.

Oh no.

Myrtle Edmonds and her posse, Yuki, Elena and Teresa. Myrtle was a red-headed white girl with big glasses, a mean expression and a green shirt with white shorts. She had piercing blue eyes. Yuki had Hawaiian skin, and brown hair that was tied behind her head. Teresa was a girl of asian descent who had hair almost down to her shoulders, and Elena was blond-haired white girl with blue eyes and ponytails.

"Weird-Lo, we came to see the…oh! Hey, you're the kid who fell from the sky! How come you're not dead?"

Nick sighed. "…dumb luck, I guess. How come you're here, Myrtle?"

Myrtle took a step back, a little bit surprised. The posse looked confused too. "How do you know my name?"

Nick smiled good-naturedly. "Where I come from, you're a character in a TV show."

Myrtle turned red with embarrassment and beamed. "Oh really? Am I the dashing heroine? Or a clever female detective? Or a media superstar?" Myrtle fluffed up her hair.

"Actually, you're a cruel, spoiled brat on a animated show that's named after Lilo and her pet dog, Stitch. Your posse is in it too. Hi Yuki, Elena and Teresa. You look a lot less sarcastic in person than on the show."

Myrtle stopped twirling the lock of hair she'd been fiddling with, and stared at Nick in total shock and anger. "WHAT! I'm a cruel spoiled brat?" Nick wasn't mean, just sometimes stupidly honest. "Yep. You're posse always says "Yeaaah" whenever they agree with you, and they'd like Lilo if not for the fact that you're always forcing them to hate her. You should be nicer to her. I would think that you'd have some idea what it's like to be different from the others."

It's important to tell the truth…but that doesn't mean it's gonna help you all the time, and it DOESN'T keep you from being attacked by an angry red-head. The next thing Nick knew, Myrtle was on top of him, punching him over and over. Since he was a lot more durable than any normal human, they did nothing, but it was annoying to have her on him, and he pretended that she was really hurting him. "Ow! Yow! Get off me, Myrtle! Hey, that stings!" Stitch stuck his head out of a window and saw the fight. He snickered.

Lilo walked outside and saw Nick getting beat up. She immediately jumped on Myrtle and pretty soon it became a nasty scuffle between Myrtle and Lilo, while Nick crawled away to get Nani.

"You big jerk!"

"Freak!"

"Bully!"

"Loser!"

"Big meany!"

"Weird-Lo!"

"Get her, Myrtle!"

"Lilo beat stupidhead!"

"LILO, THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"MYRTLE EDMONDS, GET OFF LILO NOW!"

Both Mrs. Edmonds and Nani had arrived at the scene just in time before anyone got bitten. "Myrtle, shame on you!" said Mrs. Edmonds, pulling Myrtle off. Her posse ran for it. "Lilo, you've gotta stop getting into fights!" said Nani. Nick sighed. He hated moments like this. A lecture was sure to follow.

Lilo pouted, and Myrtle turned away angrily. Both "harrumped" and walked off with their respective guardians, and Nick sat outside, looking up at the sky. "If this is just a taste of things to come…I'm in for a lot of trouble." Stitch looked at Nick, unblinking for a few moments, and then he muttered something in Galatic, pulling his head back into the house and closing the window.

Then, lo and behold, it got WORSE. Nick suddenly noticed that several news vans were coming up the long driveway of Lilo's house. "Uh oh." He thought. He ran inside and locked the door. "Run! It's the media!" Nick said. "Huh?" "There's about four news cars outside, and I don't think you want them to see Jumba and Pleakley without their disguises, do you?"

Jumba ran for his room. Pleakley, who had seen the vans coming from out of the window, yelped and ran for the room as well. Lilo sat down angrily on the couch, folding her arms and sulking. "You're gonna sit there and think about what you did." said Nani. "I'm _not_ sorry." Lilo said, sticking her tongue out. Nick looked at Lilo, with a long-suffering gaze. "Lilo, you didn't have to attack Myrtle, I was just about to get up, and her punches didn't hurt." "I don't care. She's mean." "Lilo, she's probably got problems of her own." "Like what?" "Well…I dunno…not really, anyway, but I think that…nah." "Think what?" "Well…have you ever met her dad?"

Lilo stopped pouting. She thought about the question, trying to remember a time she had met Myrtle's father. Nothing. "No, I've never met her dad…weird…and I've never seen him at Myrtle's house…" "Maybe she doesn't have one." Nick said, feeling a bit sorry for Myrtle. "Maybe he died, and that's why she's such a brat." "She could still be nicer to me." "I know, I know."

Pounding on the door. Then a shout. A huge crackling noise. Several explosions rocked the air, and then peeling rubber. Then it was all dead quiet. Nick suddenly felt a chill. He slowly walked up to the door. "Nick, what are you doing?" "Just checking something…" Nick said, slowly opening the door.

"Oh." He said simply.

There, standing on the porch, was a nastily-grinning experiment 221, electricity crackling between his long conductive antennae. It was Sparky, a Chinese Dragon-like experiment, who could create crippling electrical surges and turn into living electricity.

"Well this isn't good." Nick said.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Myrtle Edmonds _

Myrtle Edmonds is a spoiled brat, with fairly rich parents and a nasty attitude. Her mother is slightly off-the-planet, and her father never seems to be around. (He's in the Souvenir business, in case you wanted to know.) She really, REALLY likes playing with dolls, hanging with her posse, and making fun of Lilo. She's also got an experiment as a pet, experiment 007, known as Gigi.


	10. An Interesting Development, Pt2

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

AN INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT, PART TWO

About ten minutes before Nick was looking right at Sparky, Gantu was looking right at an alien rodent with white fur, red eyes, and a fluffy tail. He called himself Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, and he was an evil madman with aspirations of galactic domination.

Fortunately for the rest of the galaxy, he didn't have a lot of common sense, had hired a bumbling henchman (Gantu) to retrieve the experiments of Jumba Jookiba, and he was very short and not powerful in the least. Plus, people kept calling him a gerbil. Gantu was currently apologizing to him via video-link, and the doctor was quite annoyed. Gantu was also not wearing his shirt, and was covered in bandages.

"I'm very sorry, Dr. Hamsterviel. The experiment got away again, but this time it was not the abomination and the girl that made me lose him." The grating, almost comical accent of the mad doctor pierced the air, making 625 flinch slightly. He was chewing absentmindedly on a chicken sandwich. "Oh, REALLY? Not their fault, you say? Well then…enlighten me. What is this new reason as to why you are failing so miserably?" "A human child with dangerous powers, sir. He survived a fall from at least 100 feet into the ocean, and he was able to imitate 520's abilities. Look what he did to my back!"

Gantu turned around and pointed at his back. There was a VERY big bruise right on the back, which was red and sore. Hamsterviel chuckled. "A human child did THAT to you? Intriguing…I must see what else he is capable of…follow him. Study him some more, Gantu…and then report back to me after a few days time, say…three days." "Yes sir." Said Gantu, turning back to face the video screen and saluting. "I'll report in three days, and 625 and I will follow the child every chance we get." "Speak for yourself." said 625, mouth full of mayo.

**Elsewhere…**

An African American man drove down the road, taking a right, then a left onto the road that would lead him to the Pelekai driveway. He was a big man, with a black suit and sunglasses. He had a black tie, black shoes and a deep voice. His name was Cobra Bubbles, and he was a social worker. Not only that, he was the one that was called when things went REALLY wrong in a family, and with Lilo and Nani, things HAD gone wrong. Luckily, things had improved greatly, and everyone got along very well. Cobra was also a member of the secret underground government. Originally he'd quit the job, but he had been called back, and he frankly liked his job.

He was going to Lilo's house to investigate this new child that had shown up on Kauai's doorstep, Nicholas Michael Grey. Nani had told him that the kid had not only survived an incredible fall from the sky into the ocean, but he had also successfully fended off Captain Gantu and had exhibited strange powers. Cobra HAD to check the kid out.

And as soon as he pulled into the driveway, he got his wish. Lo and behold, there Nick was.

Nick was running for his life from Sparky, who was twisting and turning through the air, rushing after the child, who was sweating up a storm. Lilo, Jumba, Pleakley and Nani were all urging Nick to get back inside the house where it was somewhat safe, but Nick was panicking. Stitch was smirking at the sight. Yeah, Nick was really quick, but Sparky was gaining on him.

Cobra stopped the car, and got out, pulling out his gun. "FREEZE." He shouted at Sparky. Sparky turned to look at Cobra and grinned nastily, suddenly moving through the air like, well, lighting, and going for his car. Cobra jumped away just in time as Sparky MELTED into the car…and then emerged from the trunk, laughing. The car spluttered, the radio died, and the car sank as it's tires burst. The engine had been fried completely, and was now smoking. Cobra growled angrily.

"That was a _rental_!" he growled, pulling ANOTHER gun…but Sparky was suddenly gone. Cobra looked around. Nowhere…

"Behind you!" Nick shouted, running towards Cobra. The social worker turned and there was Sparky, zooming towards him. Cobra ducked to the side again, but then he realized that the KID was now open for attack! Sparky grinned and tacked Nick, grabbing him. "Get off me!" Nick shouted. Sparky shook his head and his antennae crackled, reaching down for Nick…

Suddenly he stopped. He noticed that Nick's hands were glowing yellow…

Now it was NICK who was grinning. "I said get **off**, Sparky!" He shouted, kicking Sparky off. Nick got up quickly, and took up a running position on the ground, as if ready to run a marathon. Sparky got up, spitting out some dirt from his mouth. He rushed at Nick…

"DASHING THUNDER!" Nick shouted. Suddenly he was not there, a crackle of lighting, a boom of thunder, and Nick was fifteen feet behind Sparky, who suddenly collapsed to the ground, sparking slightly, fizzed out. The experiment groaned, and twitched slightly. Nick stood up, and turned around, smiling slightly. "Hmm…shocking." He said.

Cobra dropped his guns. He stood there, staring right at Nick. His sunglasses fell off, and his mouth was so wide open it could catch a tennis ball. Nick walked up to him and handed the social worker and man in black his sunglasses. "You dropped these." He said politely.

"Uh…um…thank you…" "What? In shock?" Nick asked. Lilo giggled, running up to him and hugging him. "You were _amazing_!" She said. Nick turned bright red, his already rosy cheeks getting even rosier. "Uh…gee, shucks. It's nothing, I don't even know how I did that."

Cobra collected himself and finally spoke. "So I take it that you are Nicholas Michael Grey?" "Yep, but call me Nick! You're Cobra Bubbles, right? Nice to meet you. Did you really tell aliens that mosquitoes were an endangered species? They sure are if they're near MY house, the stupid bugs. I can't stand them."

Cobra stuttered, his confidence shattered. "Huh-huh-how exactly di-did you know my nuh-name, son?" "Well, where I come from, you're a character in a movie and a TV show named after Lilo and Stitch, so I know a lot. It's pretty cool, being here."

Lilo looked up at Cobra. "Isn't he so cool?" Cobra tried to collect himself again, and looked over at Nani, raising an eyebrow. "I take it you want me to draw up the necessary papers to adopt him? Since he has no legal guardians at the moment he's a ward of the state, but I can get around that with the right forms and with a bit of string-pulling." Nani looked at Nick. "Well…" "I do not think we should be trusting child." said Jumba, folding his large arms. "Ih!" said Stitch.

A song came to mind in Nick's head. "We can't build our dreeeaaams…on suspicious miiinds…" he sang.

'"That's it. He stays." said Lilo.

"But…but…" said Jumba, stuttering.

"Anyone who likes Elvis has to be a good person."

"Yeah, 100 million Elvis fans can't be wrong."

"You're funny." said Pleakley, chuckling.

"Come on, let's let him stay. He needs a place to live, right?"

"Pleeeaaase, can't Nick stay?" begged Lilo, rushing up the steps to Nani, getting on bended knee.

Nani sighed. "All right. Nick can stay." Nick broke into a huge grin. Lilo smiled broadly too. "All right! I'll bake cookies!" said Pleakey, running inside the house. "Oh, no! This time I'M making them!" yelled Nani. "Last time you used detergent instead of baking powder!" "They were both white, what was I supposed to think?"

Jumba rubbed his head. "Oh…I need to go lie down…"

From yhe bushes a Gantu and 625 watched.

"How interesting. Very interesting indeed." said Gantu, rubbing his chin. "So they have adopted the child. Good. That makes it easier for us to study him." "Yeah, yeah." said 625, who kept on staring at Nick, who was jumping up and down with Lilo, celebrating this turn of events. The genetic experiment didn't blink once until Gantu poked him in the shoulder. "Come on. We must return to my ship to draw up plans." "Right." said 625, taking one last look at the kid who had saved his life.

That night, Jumba couldn't sleep.

He tossed and turned, groaning. Pleakley covered his head with his pillow and waited for Jumba to stop. The mad scientist was really bothered by something…but WHAT?

As it turned out, he was dreaming of the past. Of an old experiment's creation…of speaking with his partner…

"_Now Jumba, I trust you completely. I'm sure your discovery of light energy will signal a VERY bright new chapter in the creation of new, more powerful experiments. Light energy will herald in a new age…OUR age. The age of evil geniuses!"  
_

"_Yes…ha-ha-haaaa!"_

"_Nya ha haaa!"_

"_Okay, enough with evil laughing. I must be getting to my workings!"_

"_Very well. I'll be in the next room. Call out when the experiment is ready."_

"_Of course."_

_Dr. Hamsterviel walked out of the room, and Jumba Jookiba turned to the experiment pod he held in his hands. It was green, but emanated a white aura, the result of light energy, which Jumba had bombarded the pod with. Just in case the experiment got out of control, Jumba also had a plasma pistol in his lab-coat pocket, which contained a dark energy ammo pod. Dark energy was a common tool in creating weapons these days. Light energy seemed to be it's exact opposite. _

_Jumba placed the experiment pod on the working table he was using and took a dropper from a drawer. He filled it up with water from a beaker and dropped a single droplet of water onto the experiment. _

_KAFOOOM!_

_There it was. Beautiful…beautiful…_

_The experiment blinked slowly and stretched it's wings. It looked at him with big, childlike eyes. _

"_I am Jumba Jookiba. I am an evil genius, and I am your creator."_

"…_daddy?"_

_Jumba took a step back. Daddy? How odd._

"_Yes, I suppose I am being your father."_

"_Daddy…I'm…sorry."  
_

_Jumba suddenly felt very afraid. It was looking at him with such sorrowful eyes._

"_For what?" Jumba asked, shakily. _

"_Have to stop it…sorry, Daddy…" _

_Suddenly the experiment began to emit a strange white aura, which climbed up to the celing, spreading towards Jumba, enveloping him. The fat scientist coughed and spluttered, and he felt an unbelievable headache. He screamed in pain as the aura continued to spread, reaching the very ends of the lab and beyond, sneaking under the doors. Jumba could hear Hamsterviel's horrible screeches of pain._

"_Evil…evil…EVIL…" the experiment said, pointing at him with a claw. Jumba had fallen to the ground, and his headache was tearing his head apart. He tasted blood. He had to stop the experiment!_

_With the last of his strength, he stood up and shoved the experiment into the dehydrator machine right behind it. BZZZAAAP! The experiment was reduced to pod form. Jumba staggered over to the pod and picked it up gently._

"_I was being such a fool…what have I done? What have I created?"_

Jumba woke up, sweating all over, shaking slightly. He had forgotten until now how fearful, how PETRIFIED, he'd been that night…

He never wanted to feel that way.

EVER again.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Cobra Bubbles_

Cobra Bubbles has had experience with extraterrestrial life since he was a student fresh out of college and in the military. He was involved with the Roswell Incident, and managed to convince aliens that mosquitoes were an endangered species, saving the entire world from utter destruction. He insists that he has a shaved head…but he's really bald. He's a member of the secret shadow government, AND a social worker…and you didn't here this from me, but he's killed precisely 139 people.


	11. Ice, Ice Baby

**CHAPTER NINE**

ICE, ICE BABY

It was 8:00 AM at Lilo's school. Class was just about to start, but the teacher, a middle-aged boomer with bushy brown hair stood up and addressed the class, sweeping her arm towards a 10-year-old boy who had just entered the room.

"Class, I'd like to introduce you to your new classmate, Nicholas Michael Grey."

Nicholas Michael Grey smiled. "Hey, everyone! Call me Nick Grey, thankyouverymuch." Imitating Elvis, he slicked his hair back with a comb he'd brought in, and gave a big, cocky grin, giving everyone a thumbs up. Several girls let out distracted sighs, and a few of the boys grinned right back.

Myrtle "harrumphed" and looked away. Her posse, however, were gazing admiringly at Nick. She tossed them a _very_ nasty look, and the gazes became frowns instantly. Nick sat down next to a boy with puffy blond hair and a laid-back posture. Then he faced the teacher.

"Okay, Nick. It's time to act like you've never acted before!" He thought.

"Now today class, for our last lessons, we're going to be learning about the presidents." The teacher pulled down a diagram from the ceiling which showed all of the presidents. Nick's eyes wandered over the diagram until he saw the last president…George W. Bush.

Mental note to self, Nick thought. Write "THIEF" over that jerk's face later on.

"Now there's going to be a presidential election this year, and can anybody name the two major candidates?"

Myrtle Edmonds raised her hand. "Yes, Myrtle?" Myrtle responded in a heartbeat. "John Kerry and George W. Bush." "Correct. Good, Myrtle. Now, can anyone tell me who ran for president in the election of 2000?" Myrtle again. "Albert Gore and George W. Bush." "Good, Myrtle." Nick raised his hand. "Yes, Nick?" asked the teacher. "Don't forget Ralph Nader." Nick said. "He didn't get a lot of votes, but he still ran for president and he's a big enough third party candidate to be counted." "Right. Good, Nick. Can you tell us who _won_ the 2000 election?"

Steady, Nick. Steady.

"Well, that's open for some debate."

"How so?"

Don't get on your soapbox!

"Well on Election Night, the TV networks were saying that Gore was in the lead, but it looked like it was going to be too close to call."

"Right, right."

If you do, there's no turning back!

"Then Fox News…"

No! Don't! Don't go there! NOOOO-aw, too late.

"What happened was Fox News called it in favor of Bush because the head of Fox News, John Ellis, is a cousin and close friend of George. Then Katherine Harris's tactics proved their worth, and she and others who were working the polling stations turned away thousands of black voters mostly because they had the same name as convicted felons or because they were suspected to be felons. Not only that, there was some monkey business with overseas ballots from our fighting troops, and on top of that, when Albert Gore demanded that every vote be counted, the Supreme Court, led by Bush-backed Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, stopped the count, and announced that Bush had won the election. Though the popular vote, and in reality the electoral vote, went to Gore, the Supreme Court gave the presidency to Bush. People were so mad that 20,000 protestors showed up in Washington DC, at the walk to the White House on the day that Bush was supposed sworn in, and they jeered at him and threw all the ingredients for a good omelet at his limo."

Silence all around. Lilo blinked slowly at Nick. Myrtle's glasses slipped off of her face and landed with a "clink" on the desk. The posse's mouths were all wide open, and the class was astounded. The teacher had been biting on her nail. She had stopped, but her finger was still in her mouth, nail half-bitten. She looked at Nick, totally amazed.

"Okay, my flabber is officially gasted." said the blond-haired kid, whose name was Charlie. "How'd you know all that stuff?" "I…uh…read a lot." "Cool." said Charlie. He stood up and gave Nick a standing ovation. Then Lilo did the same. Soon the rest of the class had followed, and the teacher finally called for quiet.

"Well, uh…I can see that you know a lot about historic events, Nick." "Yep!" Nick said proudly.

Wait…historic? What year was this?

"Well, I'm sure you'll do just fine in my class, even though there are only a few weeks left of school." "Well I'll do my best." "Good. Now class, all I have for homework is this." The teacher put the diagram away and wrote the assignment on the board. "Pick a famous political figure in US history. Write about why you like him, what makes him famous and what his personal life was like. Then present in front of the class in two days. Tomorrow we'll go to the library to do some studying."

Riiiiiing! The bell. Time to go to art period, Nick thought. The art class was going to be doing some classic watercolor painting. Nick was good with painting and was very creative, so it was going to be a snap. However…

His classmates were a little…rowdy.

Nick learned that the hard way when a gob of red paint went flying through the air, almost hitting his nice "Spring Break" t-shirt. He ducked just in time…and it whacked Myrtle Edmond's hair. Myrtle turned and looked at who had thrown it: Charlie. "Ha-ha!" Charlie said.

A few minutes later, he wasn't laughing. Myrtle had walked over and dumped all of her blue paint all over his head. Both Myrtle and Charlie were led out of the room by an angry teacher who had JUST started counting the years until retirement. Nick resisted any urge to laugh at the sight.

Meanwhile, just outside the school…

It should have been 77 degrees out. But the temperature was dropping, fast. 60…50…40!

Soon it was a little more than 20 degrees out, and snow began to fall gently onto the cold Hawaiian ground, which had become icy and hard. A cackling experiment watched the fruits of his labor settle over the island, and he grinned nastily. This experiment was seemingly made of ice, with spiky icicles jutting from his head, sharpened hands that were no more than spikes, and spiky feet. You could see right through him almost, his body was a chilling mix of blue and white, like…well…ice! Plus he had beady black eyes that gazed over the island as snow and ice fell upon it, snow and ice HE had spread with his great powers. His next stop was this school.

Experiment 523, better known as Slushy, jumped down from the tree he was on and walked towards the door of the school, and blew it open with a huge gust of icy power from his mouth. He walked inside and listened. Hmm…lots of noise from that room down the hall. He'd start there. He walked towards the room, spreading ice and snow throughout the hallway as he walked with a "CHICK-CHICK" sound.

The room was the art room. It was noisy because a huge paint fight had erupted. It had started innocently enough…

"Hey Lilo, could you pass me that brown paint?"

"Sure. I'm almost done…there! What do you think?"

"Oooooh…a zombie reclining in a field of dasies…nice! Hey, you drew the heart OUTSIDE the skin?"

"Yep! It's very detailed, isn't it?"

"Yeah, that's really accurate, especially for watercolor. I'm drawing something really famous."

"What?"

"You'll see. I'm gonna add my own personal touch. I just need to add the brown paint."

A few strokes there, a little dab there, and soon…

"Voila!"

"Oh, wow! Cool!"

"I call it…the Mona Lilo!"

"Hee-hee…thanks, Nick! I like it!"

"Shucks, it's nothing…"

Suddenly Yuki, who had been carrying a tray of blue, white and yellow paint, tripped. The paint went flying through the air, splattering on Nick's beautiful portrait. Nick, eyebrows furrowed angrily, slowly turned to look a tYuki, who gave a nervous grin.

"Uh…sorry?"

"PAINT FIGHT!" Nick shouted, grabbing a can of royal blue and tossing it into the air, sending paint flying all over. Soon it was chaos. Pink, green, orange and purple splotches decorated the walls and floors. Elena had been downed by a small bucket of yellow paint. Yuki was hiding underneath a chair. Teresa ran for the closet. Lilo was flinging paint with wild abandon, laughing, and Nick had grabbed the painting and ran.

He made it to the door and yanked it open. He stopped cold. Slushy looked up at him and blinked slowly. Nick closed the door again. "Lilo!" Nick yelled. "Is Slushy supposed to be in your school?"

Lilo dropped the brush covered in orange paint that she was using to draw a huge sun. She looked at Nick. "No…he's one of the experiments that have been missing…why?" "Well…he's here." Knock-knock came the door.

"Everyone hide!" Nick shouted. The kids stopped throwing paint to look at Nick. "Why?" asked Yuki. "Um…" Nick didn't think they'd believe that an illegal genetic experiment was just about to attack, but luckily Lilo thought up something quick. "The teacher's coming back! Everyone, let's get out through the windows!" The kids shrieked and ran for the windows, climbing out and running back to their respective houses, not wanting to be caught red, orange, green, blue or yellow-handed.

Lilo breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew. Okay, they're gone."

BAM!

The door was knocked down. Slushy grinned at Lilo and ran at her, preparing to freeze her. Nick reacted quickly, PUNTING the little jerk across the room and into the sink before he could blow ice upon Lilo. Nick turned back to Lilo and shouted out "Get Stitch! Quick!" Lilo nodded, and ran for the window, climbing out. Nick turned back to Slushy, who had jumped up from the sink and was now taking a deep breath. "Uh oh." Nick thought. He ducked underneath a table just in time as frozen breath sailed across the room, turning supplies, chairs and tables to ice.

Nick slowly stuck his head out and looked at the icy table he was now under. "Yikes." He said. "If I'm not careful, I'm gonna get turned into a popsicle!" Slushy took another deep breath. "Crikey!" Nick said, rushing out from the table and running to the closet. He yanked it open. "What the? Teresa?" "What's going on?" "Quick, move over!"

Not very far away…

"Hey, Nani." said a young Hawaiian man with dark black hair parted in the middle, the "fancy hair" reaching down almost to his cheeks. His name was David, and he was Nani's unofficial sweetheart.

Nani herself was working at the Surf Shack, a little shack near the beach that sold surfing and beach equipment. She always worked on the weekdays, from 9-5. It was a pretty tough job, but she was good at it. Really good. And seeing David often was just one of it's perks.

"How's it?" he asked. "Oh, you know." "I heard you adopted that kid everyone's talking about. The one that fell from the sky. Is he okay?" "Yeah, he's okay. He wolfed down five pancakes this morning, so he's okay." "Pleakley made breakfast?" "No, Nick did. He said it was "his treat"." "That's nice of him." David commented. He nervously kicked at the sand beneath him. "Hey, Nani, I was wondering…if you're not busy this weekend…" Nani looked incredulously at him. "David, are you asking me on a DATE?" David blushed and turned to leave. "If you're busy, I can-" "I'd LOVE to." Nani said.

David stopped moving. He slowly turned around to look at Nani. "Really? You mean it?" "Yes." Nani said, smiling. David broke into a huge grin, and ran over and HUGGED Nani over the counter she was manning. "_Mahalo_ plenty, Nani! I'll call you!" he said, running off and making the "Call" signal with his hand. Nani made the signal back and mouthed "okay" at him.

Meanwhile, just outside…

Gantu and 625 watched the art room from the bushes. 625 had a video camera in his hands, and Gantu was fingering a plasma pistol, just in case. "Are you getting all of this on the recording device?" "Ya mean the video camera? Uh huh. I'm getting it, I'm getting it, ya Spielberg wanna-be. That cousin of mine is really-oh wow! I didn't know you could DO that with a chair." "Your cousins are very good at being evil." "Yeah, remind me to thank Angel later on for helping us make our job a little easier." "If the doctor will let you see her. He doesn't trust you near her for some reason." "Well we were…were once…a couple." Gantu looked at 625, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." "Fair enough. I too once had a lady love…" "Yeah, but we know what happened to her, remember?" "Well all I can say is I hope she's happy now." "Admit it. You were crushed when you found out she'd gone all middle-age." "Shut iiiit! I'm still in charge here!" "Hey, that reminds me…how did you get to be a Captain in Galactic Federation anyway?"

Gantu turned pale and shivered. "Hey buddy, something I said?" "I…I'd rather not talk about it. I REALLY do not want to talk about it." 625 felt sorry for his "partner". Something was really bothering him. "Okay, I won't ask about it, pal. But I wonder where Lilo went?"

As a matter of fact, Lilo had run to the front of the school, to the big tree in front, so that she could find Stitch, who was waiting patiently for her. Stitch had gotten bored and had started rolling around in the grass, watching the clouds. Then he'd noticed a huge caterpillar, which was making a cocoon. The caterpillar had added some final touches and was now snug as a bug in a rug inside the sticky-looking cocoon. The cocoon, however, would not protect the bug from Stitch.

Stitch climbed up the tree and onto the branch the cocoon hung from. He delicately plucked it off and hopped down from the tree. Reclining against it, he sniffed the cocoon and licked his lips. He leisurely opened his mouth wide, and held the cocoon in his claws, ready to drop it in…

"STITCH!"

Stitch sat up, dropping the cocoon. Lilo walked over and put her hands on her hips. "Stitch, I thought you'd given bug-eating a rest!" "Meega sota." "Gimme the cocoon." "Naga!" Stitch grabbed it and put it behind his back. "Mockeecha!" "It's not YOUR cocoon, it's the caterpillar's! Put it back!" "Oh…oketaka." Stitch climbed back up the tree and put it back in place, using some saliva to stick the cocoon back to the tree. "Ta-da!" he said.

Then a crow suddenly swept down and grabbed the cocoon, flying off.

Stitch groaned, fell out of the tree, and rolled around on his back, wailing angrily. Lilo pulled him up. "Nick is in trouble! Slushy got into the art room!"

Stitch looked at Lilo in a "Yeah, so?" expression.

"We've gotta go help him!"

"Meega naga care."

"Stiiiitch! We have to help him and capture your cousin Slushy!"

Stitch groaned, and stormed off towards the school. "Thanks, Stitch." called out Lilo, running after him. "Hmmph." He said.

Meanwhile, in the school, and in the closet in the art room…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"What's OUT there?"

"You don't wanna know."

"We can't stay in here forever!"

"I know, I know! I can't keep the door closed forever!"

Nick was holding the door shut with all his strength, but he was only 10 at the moment, and Slushy was pounding away at the door with icicle blasts. One suddenly whizzed into the wood, almost giving Nick a third nostril on his forehead. Nick stepped back in fear, and the door opened. Slushy grinned. Teresa and Nick were totally cornered.

"Teresa, get behind me." Nick said, stretching himself in front of her. Luckily Stitch arrived a second later. "Cousin! Aggaba!" "Naga." said Slushy, who took a deep breath. THWOCK! And Slushy went down, a well-thrown chair sending him flying across the room. Stitch turned to look at Nick and Teresa. "Goobaja." He said. "Huh?" asked Teresa. "I think he said "Let's go"." "Ih." "And that means yes. So let's get outta here!" Teresa immediately ran out, hands above head, running as fast as she could. Nick calmly walked out of the room, through the hallway, and out the door of the school, going over to Lilo, who was waiting outside the art room's window.

"Five…four…three…two…one." She said. CRASH! Slushy went flying out the window, and Stitch jumped after him, a chair in all four of his hands, he had gone into full battle mode. Nick looked at Lilo. "Shouldn't we help him?" "Don't worry." Lilo said confidently. "Stitch can take anything that big jerk can throw at him!" Stitch tossed the chairs at Slushy, who froze them with his breath, but he wasn't fast enough to dodge the fast kick that Stitch administered a moment later. Slushy went flying into a palm tree, and he slid down the trunk, groaning. Stitch rushed at him, cackling madly…and that's when it happened.

Stitch fell to the ground, his foot caught in a hole. He stood up a moment later, but then a blast of icy breath froze him in place. Slushy grinned again and started walking forward. Stitch, who was covered in ice from neck to toe, tried to break free, but there wasn't enough room for him to DO so. All he could do was stand there, frozen, and wait for his doom.

Lilo gasped, and rushed forward, grabbing a stick off of the ground and whacking Slushy over and over. "No! Leave him alone you icy-" She didn't finish. Slushy shoved her down, and some blood dripped from her arm where he had cut her with his sharp hands. She grabbed it, sniffling a little. "Stitch, you gotta break free!" she yelled. "Errgh! Ahhh! Rrrr!" Stitch tried, but to no avail. Slushy took a deep breath…

Suddenly his arm was grabbed. Blood seeped down from Nick's hand as he looked into Slushy's eyes. "You hurt my friends. I'm gonna beat you up." He said, voice filled with fury. His hand began to glow an icy blue, it's aura trailing up into the sky…

He shoved Slushy down, and punched, punched, punched. Then he grabbed Slushy again and tossed him at the palm tree again. Slushy collided once more but this time he didn't slide down…he never got the chance.

"ICICLE UPPERCUT!" Nick shouted, slamming his fist into the ground. A huge cascading row of icicles shot up from the ground, rushing at Slushy. A huge one slammed into him, and he went flying in the air, landing hard on the ground. The icy experiment groaned, and then lost consciousness. The icicles melted into the ground, and Nick looked down at Lilo and helped her up. Then Nick walked over to Stitch, whose ice had melted, and extended his hand.

"You okay?" he asked.

Stitch took his hand and stiffly sat up. "Ih." He said simply. Then he walked off. Lilo looked at her bloody arm. "Ow…it huuurts…" "Well, we'd better get you to your house." Nick said. "What about you?" she asked. "How's your hand?" Nick looked down at the hand that had been bleeding…

The cut was gone. The blood had dripped off. There was no sign there had ever BEEN a cut.

"Oh." Nick said simply. "That's...weird."

Watching from the volcano a long distance away, using a pair of binoculars, a form hidden in some bushes growled. "Grrr…curse it. Stupid inferior prototype. I need a more destructive experiment if I'm going to exact my revenge on that stupid girl and 626. That boy is becoming a problem too."

Another form was sitting on a bench nearby. He looked up at the sky and chuckled softly. "626 IS strong. Good. I would expect nothing less from my "father"." He spat out that word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. "No matter. Both are going to die." "Glad to see you're feeling particularly bloodthirsty today." said the first form. "I'm not nearly as bad as you." "True, but I'm programmed to like being cruel. You're just the way you are because…heh-heh…" "Don't you dare say it."

"Daddy didn't love yooooou!" the first form said in a sing-song voice. "And neither did your little fallen Angellll…" The second form suddenly jumped off, glaring at the first. "DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT HER. **EVER**!" The first form chuckled. "Fine, fine. I won't. Just remember, I get to pick the next experiment we'll use." "Well which one did you have in mind?" The first form grinned sadistically. "Remember Yin and Yang? How Jumba insisted that they not come together because they might cause a huge explosion?" "Yes, but we can't actually have them destroy the island. That would ruin all of the doctor's plans-oh…wait…you're going to use them to wipe out the girl and her little family, aren't you?" "Exactly." "Two for the price of one family. Interesting…but will it work?" Another sadistic grin. "Let's find out…"

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Charlie_

Charlie is an ordinary little boy. But he's special…very special.

_David Kawena_

Friendly local. Expert Surfer. Down-to-earth island philosopher. These titles do little justice to David Kawena the person…but they help. David's part of Lilo's ohana as well, and he and Nani are trying to find times to go out, but her job is so demanding it gets trying. Luckily David's a patient person, and really nice.


	12. Both Sides Now

**CHAPTER TEN**

BOTH SIDES NOW

"Tomorrow, first period, is show and tell." "I know, and I'm gonna go find something cool on the island to bring into school. What are YOU bringing in, Lilo?" "Watch."

Nick and Lilo were at Lilo's house, and Stitch was eating some coconut cake. Okay, not really eating so much as scarfing it down. Lilo had a microphone with a long cord, and a tape recorder attached to it. She tiptoed up the stairs to the bathroom and listened. "What do you hear?" Nick asked, following after her. "Shhh!" Lilo whispered. She listened again. "Yep. She's in there." "Nani? What are you doing?" "Wait right here." Lilo said, sneaking into the bathroom. Nick suddenly realized that Nani was in the shower, and he immediately ran to the side, not looking at the shower. "Oh, boy…this is not gonna end well."

"Loooove…exciting and neeeeew…"

Nani was singing in the shower. Nick resisted the urge to chuckle madly and failed.

"Come aboooaard…we're ex-pec-ting…you."

Nani had finally opened her eyes and seen a microphone hanging down the shower curtain, a long cord trailing over the curtain and down towards a shape that was standing, watching her. Nani pulled the curtain back and saw Lilo with the tape recorder. Lilo grabbed the microphone and ran, with Nani right behind after she'd grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. The two ran down the stairs, with Lilo screaming and Nani's face filled with incredible irritation and fury.

"Come onnnn! Tomorrow's show and tell!"

"I'm sorry; I have soap in my ears. Did you just say "Nani please kill me"?"

Nick broke into hysterical laughter, and laughed so hard that his knees buckled. Then he realized something. "Oh! Geez, I gotta take a shower myself! I've been without one for at least a day and a half!" He called out "I'm using the shower!" and walked inside, grabbing a towel and undressing. He put a towel on the floor, put his clothes away, and made sure there was a towel on the rack. Then he cranked the shower up to the right temperature and stepped inside.

He hummed a little as he scrubbed himself. Then the humming turned to singing.

"_This is the song that reminds me of my trucker hat, that I used to wear, but not to block out the sun! With the John Deere logo and a stain on the back from where you laid me out flat, one look I was done!"_

He held his bar of soap up to his mouth and pretended it was a microphone.

"_And allll…these things mean nothing to meeee! When I'm with you, I've got everything! I could want and I could need, even God he would agree! You and I were meant to be, it's easy to see!"_

He belted out the chorus.

"_I'll never go outta style on you! And nothing really feels the way you do! Nothing in the world could ever make me look this good, when you fit me like ya doooo!" _

Nick finally finished and turned the shower off. He stepped out and grabbed a towel, drying off. Then he put his clothes back on and stepped outside.

Nani, Pleakley, Jumba, Stitch and Lilo had all congregated outside of the shower, and Pleakley and Nani were clapping. "Very nice." said Jumba. "You've got a great voice." said Lilo. Stitch grinned naughtily. "More! More!" he cried out. Nick's face turned bright red. "Gee, guys…" "Forget Nani…can you sing something for show and tell tomorrow?" "Well…gee…sure! I'd love to!"

Lilo hugged him. "Thanks, Nick!" "Shucks, Lilo. It's nothing, really. I like singing."

Stitch growled to himself.

Then a knock came at the door. "I'll get it." Said Lilo, running down the stairs. She opened the door and smiled. There at the door was a girl Lilo's age, with red hair tied into a ponytail, and blinking some tears out of her big blue eyes. She was panting and out of breath, and she was wearing a light purple t-shirt with blue shorts and white sneakers. She was Victoria, Lilo's best human friend.

"Victoria! _Aloha_! How's it going?" "Lilo, my house is being flooded! One of Stitch's cousins is shooting water into my windows!" "What! Stitch, Victoria needs our help!" "It gets worse! Mrs. Hasagawa's house is on fire! You gotta help her!" "Mrs. Hasagawa's house got set on fire?" Nick said, rushing down the stairs and jumping off the steps to land with a BOOM on the floor. "Is she inside?" "No, she got out, but…wait…who are you?" "I'm Nick Grey. You're Victoria, right? Lilo's best friend? How's Snooty?" "Uh…how do you know about Snooty?"

"Lilo, can you and Stitch save Mrs. Hasagawa's house?" "Ih!" said Stitch, running down the stairs, with Jumba, Nani and Pleakley right behind. "I'll handle Victoria's house. I'll bet Yin is behind it, and Yang is behind the fire." "Is most probable." said Jumba, rubbing his chin. "Since you have electrical capabilities, Nick…you are probably best suited for dealing with experiment 501, and 626 should be easily able to subdue 502." "Then it's settled." Lilo said. She ran to the hall closet and pulled out a super soaker. "Let's rock-a-hula!" She said. "Ih! Goobaja!" said Stitch, running out the door. "I'M driving!" yelled Nani, who ran after them. Nick looked over at Jumba. "Hey Jumba, do you have a car I can use?" "No, however…" "However what?" Jumba walked over and whispered something into his ear. Nick's eyes widened and he grinned broadly.

"You serious? You still have it?"

"I made a few adjustments to it, so it should be perfect for you to ride on."

"Great! Where is it?"

"Follow me." Jumba walked out the door and down the steps. Nick followed him and followed Jumba into the jungle.

Elsewhere, Mrs. Hasagawa was wailing at the sight of her house being set on fire. "My house! My poor house! Someone please tell me the nice firemen are on their way!" A crowd of caring neighbors had gathered and were trying to calm Mrs. Hasagawa down, to little avail.

The culprit, a lizard-like experiment with little volcanoes sticking out of it's back, crawled around the lawn, cackling madly. It was the color of flame, and it had sharp fangs and horns. Its volcano spouts belched out fireballs that had lit the house up on fire, and Yang was now admiring his sick work, smoke rising from his spouts.

However he wasn't able to admire it a moment later. A powerful stream of water struck him in the face and he wheeled around to see Lilo, pumping up her super soaker, with Stitch by her side, shaking up a huge fire hydrant.

"You've been a very naughty cousin, Yang!" said Lilo. "Bad cousin!" Stitch said, agreeing whole-heartedly. "We're not gonna let you get away with this, and we're gonna stop you! Besides, smoking is bad for you!"

Not really liking the joke so much as being evil, Yang laughed and belched out more fireballs from his back. They whizzed through the air towards Stitch, who grinned and cracked the hydrant open. SPLOOOOSH! The water sprayed all over the fireballs and Yang, who was drenched by the deluge, and whose flames had turned to smoke. He coughed and spluttered, and then gasped in surprise as Stitch held up the caught fireballs, which were no longer weapons of house destruction. Suddenly Stitch became the world's greatest pitcher, and every fireball struck Yang, with a CRACK-CRACK-CRACK sound. Yang, sensing now might be a good time to run, ran for his life behind the house. "Don't let him get away!" yelled Lilo, running after him. "Ih!" yelled Stitch, rushing after his cousin.

Meanwhile, Nick was on his way to Victoria's house. He had only three blocks to go now, but he was going incredibly fast. Every second counted.

The surprise had been this: Jumba had kept the moped that he had stolen, the red moped that he had used to drive to he and Pleakley's spaceship. He'd modified it to fit Lilo and Stitch's size, and since Nick was now around their size…

"BOOOYAAAAAAAH!" Nick yelled, as the moped shot into the air thanks to a speed bump. He zoomed through the air, towards a fat tourist who had a sunburned body, sunglasses and an ice cream cone. The fat tourist was just about to take a lick of his new ice cream cone when Nick's moped's back tire knocked the ice cream off.

"Sorry!" Nick called out as his moped landed and sped off towards Victoria's house. The fat tourist groaned. "I can't get a break today…"

Nick soon arrived at Victoria's house and sure enough, the lawn was soaked, puddles were everywhere, and Nick could see, in through a window, rising water inside the house, with several dozen items and moments floating inside, past the window. A baseball mitt floated by, followed by what was unmistakably a bag of potato chips.

"Geez, Victoria wasn't kidding. I'd better find Yin. She's probably shooting in water from…" Nick looked up onto the roof. "There. Of course, she's pouring it in through the chimney. Makes sense."

Yin was a blue-skinned, octopus-like experiment, with a elongated head and suckers on the end of her many skinny arms that shot out water from any available water source. She had hooked herself up to what appeared to be a long hose, which was leading all the way over to a nearby fire hydrant, and was now spraying water into the house with great ease. Or rather, she WAS. Nick faced the hydrant and took up his positon.

"DASHING THUNDER!" he shouted. ZZZAAPP! His body became living electricity, and he phased through the tentacle and the hydrant. Water is an awesome conductor, so, a second later, Yin fell off of the roof, spluttering, smoking slightly. Nick casually walked over to the door of the house and opened it up. It wasn't locked.

Unfortunately, he didn't step to the side in time. He was swept into the street by a huge cascade of water filled with furniture, photos, mementos and the occasional lamp. He coughed and spluttered, spitting out water as he stood up. His entire body was soaked. His clothes clung to him, including his underwear, which REALLY felt uncomfortable.

"Aw, maaaaan." He whined. "And I don't have a change of clothes!" Then he remembered, he had to capture Yin! He walked over to her and picked her up by a tentacle. His hand glowed a bright blue aura, which vanished a few moments later. "That was cool." Nick said, whistling. "Now Yin, are you gonna keep being evil or do I have to shock you again?"

SPLORT.

Yin had just spat some water in his face.

A few moments later, Yin had been unceremoniously dumped in a trash can, and Nick now lugged it over to Lilo's house, muttering angrily under his breath about turning Yin into "sushi" and "taroyaki". From across the street, Gantu rubbed his chin. "Hmm. He has gained another power." "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Think he can make a good sandwich?" "Do you ever think about anything but sandwiches?" "Sure. Video games, TV, playing pool, the glory days…" "That reminds me…you never told me about your past-" "And I'm not GONNA." said 625 angrily. He marched off in a huff, leaving Gantu alone and confused.

Meanwhile, at Mrs. Hasagawa's house…

Stitch triumphantly walked back to the front of the house, with Yang tied up in a garden hose and doused in water. The experiment looked incredibly annoyed, and squirmed in Stitch's grasp. Lilo sighed in relief. "Good, we caught Yang, Nick's probably got Yin, and the fire is-"

Getting even worse! The entire house's roof was completely in flames, and the flames were spreading fast. "Oh no! Quick, Stitch, go get that fire hydrant!" Stitch dropped Yang and ran back to the front of the house to get the fire hydrant only to find that…well…the water had stopped. The city's water pipe lines had been damaged.

Stitch swore in Galactic and looked around for something…ANYTHING. All he could see was Nick, coming back to the house with Yin, who was squirming around in a trash can.

Nick saw the fire and immediately dropped Yin. "Oh my…Stitch, how come the fire's not under control?" Stitch tried to explain, but he couldn't really explain it in anything but Galactic, which Nick didn't understand one bit.

"At least WE didn't start the fire." Gantu said to 625, who was sulking as they hid behind a long line of shrubs. "If you make a Billy Joel joke..." "I shall not resort to THAT. Let us simply get into position...and please, stop sulking." "Fine, fine."

Nick was mystified by what Stitch was saying. "Hold on…" Nick turned his head and walked over to Yang, grabbing his ears. "DID YOU DO THAT?!"

Yang nervously grinned. Nick frowned as his hand glowed visibly red. "You have anything to SAY for yourself, "hot stuff"?!"

Yang said something that made Stitch's eyes go wide and his mouth form a perfect "o". Luckily it was in Galactic, so Nick didn't get THAT either.

He shook his head. "Nevermind. I think…I think I can stop the fire, though."

"Huh?" Stitch blinked, confused.

Nick handed Yin over to Stitch. "Hold onto Yin. I'll stop the fire."

Nick ran off towards the burning roof, a crazy plan forming in his head. "This had better work, or I could get really hurt, and Mrs. Hasagawa's house goes down in flames…literally!" Nick ran up to the house and over to a little tool shed. He pulled out a ladder and set it up against the house, rushing up it to the roof, which was blazing fiercely. Nick jumped off the ladder and down towards the roof, but with a smile on his face…

"Flames be gone! AQUA KICK!"

His right foot became encased in an orb of flowing water, which personified the ocean's might, all at a single point. The power of the ocean at Nick's feet…ON Nick's foot…and it slammed into the roof.

SKA-SPLOOOOOSH!

A cannonball-like wave rose up from the roof, drenching it and stopping the fires…but Nick fell through the roof, down through the attic and into the living room. He groaned and stood up…and saw something that shocked him. It was Mrs. Hasagawa! She had run into the house to save some of her mementos, and had fainted in the heat. Flames were springing up in the living room where she had landed, but Nick knew that he HAD to get Mrs. Hasagawa to safety. He gently lifted her up as best he could, but he was only 10 years old. It was a struggle just to get her to the doorway. The flames weren't hurting him, but he was getting kinda warm…and a bit dizzy, too…

Finally he lugged Mrs. Hasagawa out to her lawn and gently put her down. He wiped his brow with his t-shirt and ran back inside to put out the fire.

"AQUA KICK! AQUA KICK! AQUA KICK! AQUA KICK…"

Fire after fire had sprung up, so he just kept knocking them down with a watery kick…but Nick was getting tired. Really, really tired…

Finally the last piece of flaming furniture, the kitchen table, lost it's fire. Nick staggered to the kitchen door, opened it up, and then fainted, falling down the steps to the ground below. Lilo, who had been watching from behind the house, ran up to him and shook him. "Nick? Nick! NICK! No! Come on, wake up! Wake up!"

Nick was completely still. He couldn't move a muscle. Lilo, sobbing, dragged him as best she could to the side of the house and over to a hammock, placing him in it and rushing into Mrs. Hasagawa's house, returning with a bottle of water. She held it up to Nick's lips, but he couldn't drink it. "Nick…please, please drink it."

"…"

Stitch walked over to Lilo and looked at Nick. The kid was sweating up a storm, his clothes were badly singed, and he looked very tired and weakened. "Stitch, you gotta go get Jumba and Nani and Pleakley." Lilo begged. "They can help." Stitch suddenly realized…this was it! He had a chance right now to get rid of this jerk who had stolen Lilo from him. He'd shown up all full of himself, being all heroic, getting all the attention…all he had to do was stall long enough, and the kid would…

Wait…he…he couldn't do THAT…that was wrong…how can I be thinking this? Stitch thought to himself. But another part of him told him "You want him gone". He knew that part of him DID want Nick gone, but…but Nick had tried to be Stitch's friend…

Before Stitch could come to a decision, a familiar sound reverberated through the air…a strange, whooshing, digital sound, the sound of an experiment pod being activated.

Stitch looked down. A glowing green orb was appearing beneath Nick, whose sweat had activated it. Stitch slapped his clawed hand to his forehead and Lilo took a step back, afraid of this new threat.

The orb grew bigger…bigger…then…BOOM! A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and there it was. A three foot tall green dragon, with a spiked tail, silver eyes and claws, brilliant emerald scales, a silver underbelly and sharp teeth. He had spikes running down from the top of his head to the very tip of his tail, silver ones. He had a huge white heart on his chest, like some kind of insignia, that had been emblazoned on him by Jumba. He had majestic, powerful wings as well, and he blinked his eyes slowly as he looked around, first at Stitch, then at Lilo…then at the kid above him.

The experiment gasped, and quickly flew over Nick, looking him over.

"Hurt?" The experiment asked. Stitch, amazed, slowly nodded. The experiment closed it's eyes and spread it's wings, stretching out it's body as it accepting a prayer from above. The heart insignia glowed brightly, a pure, white aura spreading from it's body to wash over Nick. Then, a moment or so later, Nick opened his eyes.

"Uh…oh…what happened? How'd I get in…hey, this is kinda comfy-WOAH! An experiment?" Nick looked up at the dragon experiment as it stared into his eyes. It had a childlike, innocent smile. "Hey, something about you is familiar." Nick said, slowly getting out of the hammock. The dragon squealed with delight and flew to the ground in front of him. "Familiar! Familiar!" it said, and got on it's back, exposing its belly. Nick instantly rubbed it, making the little dragon beam and hum happily. Nick suddenly noticed that his hand was glowing with a white aura…then it vanished. "Coool." Lilo said. "Naga bootifa." muttered Stitch. "Sure it is!" Nick said.

Jumba, Pleakley and Nani, in the meantime, had taken Cobra Bubble's car to Mrs. Hasagawa's house to check up on Lilo. When they found Nick, Stitch and Lilo with the experiment, they were shocked. Jumba especially was frightened. He hid behind a tree, his body quivering with total fear.

"It cannot be…is experiment 421! Quick, you must be getting away, right now! Is very dangerous experiment!"

"He's harmless!" Lilo said, rubbing 421's belly. Stitch squatted by his cousin and smiled. "Cousin!" He said. "Cousin?" 421 asked. "Ih. Part of _ohana_ now." "_Ohana_?" "_Ohana_ means family. Family means…" "Nobody gets left behind." Lilo said. "Or forgotten!" Nick said, rubbing 421's head, being careful not to touch the spikes.

Jumba slowly walked towards 421 and held out his hand. He lowered it gently towards the exposed belly of 421, and then rubbed. 421 sighed happily. "Cannot be…how is possible?" "What can 421 do?" Nick asked. "Can fly at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour, can lift heavy objects about 2000 times his size and most importantly, can emit light energy." "Light energy?" "Quite a while ago, remarkable energy was discovered on planet far, far away, in far-off section of galaxy. Or rather, remarkable energy was discovered on what was LEFT of the planet. It had…been destroyed. No survivors."

"Oh my." Nick said, suddenly getting a chill.

"The energy was named light energy due to its color and was placed under MY study because it could not be analyzed by normal means. I determined that light energy would make a perfect addition to my experiments, that it would empower them in a fantastic fashion. Unfortunately…" Jumba sighed and sat down on the grass. "My first test with it…was my last. 421 was first and ONLY experiment to have light energy placed inside him. He…he emitted the aura…but it hurt me. Badly. I almost died. I dehydrated him just in time. I had forgotten about him until recently…I have been dreaming…bad dreams. Very bad ones." "Why'd he hurt you?" "I do not think he really meant to…but light energy within him seems to be a dominating factor in his decisions." "Hmm…that light HELPED Nick. It made him all better!" Lilo hugged 421. "Thanks! Or as we say it in Hawaii, _Mahalo_!" 421 blinked slowly and looked at Lilo. "Muh…_mahalo_…"

Jumba rubbed his chin. "This is requiring more study." Nick got up and stretched. "Well, is Mrs. Hasagawa okay?" "She's been taken to the hospital, but she'll be fine. You did a good job, Nick." Cobra said, patting Nick on the shoulder. "It was just the right thing to do." Nick then noticed that he'd left the kitchen door open. "Oh! I'd better close it." He thought. He walked over and went up the steps to close the door…

"Gotcha!"

"What the hey?"

FHOOMP!

Nick flew back, wrapped in a crystal-clear net made of some unknown substance. He struggled and kicked and punched, but the net held. He was trapped. Gantu chuckled and stepped out of the house. "Caught you at last. That's enough studying you, human. I think you'll be quite a nice addition to Dr. Hamsterviel's army of evil." "Lemme out, you big dummy!" Nick yelled, rolling around on the ground. All he succeeded in doing was tiring himself out. "Don't bother." said the former captain. "That net is made of the firmest polycarbonium." "Polycarbonium!" Jumba gasped. "What's that?" asked Nani. "Is super-strong substance used to create protective under-armor and nets. Is also useful for carrying hazardous and heavy materials. Not even…"

FHOOMP!

"Not even 626 can break out of it." finished Gantu, sneering. Stitch growled and scratched at the inside of the net, but to no avail. FHOOMP! Soon experiment 421 joined them. He looked around, stunned. He hadn't the slightest clue what was going on. Jumba took a step forward, wrenching up a small bush and holding it up like a club. Cobra went for his gun.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you…or else…" said Gantu, looking over at Lilo. Lilo suddenly felt something jab into her back. "I'm sorry kid." said 625, who sighed. He was holding onto a small but deadly plasma pistol, which was now sticking into her back. "This wasn't my idea." Gantu chuckled and walked over, picking up 421 and Stitch. Then he walked over to Nick and picked him up too. Nick stuck his tongue out at the bipedal whale alien. "Jerk! Let Lilo go!" Gantu gave him an arrogant smirk. "I think not. She's my insurance. She's coming with me, along with you. If ANY of you try anything…" He motioned towards 625. "Then the girl dies. Understand?"

Cobra grit his teeth, but dropped his gun. Nani fought back tears, Pleakley gasped and Jumba threw the bush on the ground. "You sick, rotten…" he growled. "Grand Councilwoman was right. You ARE having problems with ethics. I had heard the rumors, but…"

Suddenly Gantu's cool, confident demeanor turned ice cold. He glared with fury at Jumba. "Shut up, or 625 kills the girl right now." Jumba clenched his fist so hard you could almost see his knuckles. Without speaking any further, Gantu walked off, slinging 426, Stitch and Nick over his shoulder. 625, still keeping his gun in Lilo's back, marched her after him. 625 looked back at Jumba and mouthed "Sorry" at him before he disappeared into the dense flora of Kauai, heading for Gantu's ship.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Mrs. Hasagawa_

Mrs. Hasagawa is the owner of a local fruit market that Lilo and Stitch frequently visit, shop at…and trash. Oops. Luckily she's a tough little lady, even though she wears a wig. She's got an knack for knowing helpful advice at just the right times, AND for providing interesting remedies to sicknesses. She's also gotten back into the dating scene! Good for her! Good FOR her!


	13. Jailhouse Rock

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

JAILHOUSE ROCK

"I miss my _ohana_…" "Na-na-na-na…" "I miss it so bad that AH could cry!" "Na-na-na-na-na!" "If I don't see my _ohanaaaa_…I think I'm gonna diiie! I got the blues…the I-wanna-see-my-_ohana_-bluuuues…" "And they're tearin' up mah insides…these I-wanna-see-my-_ohana_-bluuuues…" "SHUT UP! NOW!"

Lilo and the others had been unceremoniously stuck in containment capsules at Gantu's ship. They had tried singing to pass the time.

Unfortunately, Gantu didn't like the blues.

Nick groaned and banged his head against the capsule. "Stupid-stupid-stupid! I KNEW my politeness was going to get me in trouble one of these days…" "Yeah, usually being RUDE is the leading cause of injury in this country." said 625, mouth half full of sandwich. He wasn't feeling very good. Neither was anyone else really.

Lilo looked over at Gantu. "How come you got angry when Jumba mentioned rumors?" Gantu looked over at her angrily. "Silence, earthworm, or else." "Did you do something bad?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper. Gantu sighed and sat down in a chair. "Do you know HOW I got the job of Captain?" "Naga." said Stitch. "I…I was just a lieutenant originally. I was part of a squadron of Galactic Federation troops. I was put in charge temporarily by the commander of our unit. We were fighting in a civil war, on my home planet…"

Nick suddenly felt a huge chill go up his spine. Something BAD had happened to Gantu. Something VERY bad.

"The Federation had been asked to intervene. They sent in a limited amount of troops to help my homeland, who was fighting against a rival country across one of my planet's large oceans. I was so happy to fight for my country, to stop the spread of the enemy's ideals." "What were the ideals?" "We knew they were followers of anarchy. Anarchy is the biggest threat to the government on my planet. The country we fought was in shambles…and yet THEY wanted to take what we had! I was so outraged. They had already ruined their own country, and that wasn't enough? No, no I would NOT let them set foot on my home!" he slammed his fist down onto the chair's armrests.

"Wow. So what happened next?" Lilo asked. Gantu sighed and leaned back in the chair. 625 finished his sandwich and listened intently. "We were on a routine recon mission, to check out an anarchical village. We'd suffered many…MANY…casualties. They had too…but their country was bigger than ours, their forces larger. They could afford the loss. We couldn't. Not really. I'd lost a lot of friends. We entered the village. We were searching for troops. All we found were families. No weapons. No power generators. They were living off of the land. I called up the commander. I asked him what to do. A lot of the villagers were hiding in their houses and I wanted to interrogate them, to find out if they knew where to find any anarchy guerillas. I asked the commander how to get them out." "What did he say?" Lilo asked innocently.

Gantu shivered. "He said "get them out with grenades". He told me to follow his only order." "What was his order?" Nick asked, though he knew the answer before Gantu said it. "Kill everything that breathed." Gantu said, looking down at the floor, not seeing the floor but shrapnel remains and a growing pool of blood stretching towards him as it flowed from the heaped bodies of innocents…

Stitch's eyes became widened in absolute horror. Lilo gasped, covering her mouth. 421 stared at Gantu, not blinking. Nick bit his lip, his entire body shaking, feeling cold…so cold…

"In exchange for silence, all of us who participated in the slaughter were promoted. I got the largest promotion, the promotion to Captain. Eventually the others…cracked…or were fired because of erratic behavior." "Oh…post-trauma syndrome or something?" "Yes." Lilo suddenly felt very sorry for Gantu. "So that's how you got the job…and rumors spread about what you'd done?" "Yes." said Gantu, who looked very tired and old. Lilo looked down at the ground. Nick put his fist to his mouth, thinking very hard, his heart now torn with mixed emotions of fear, anger and immense pity. Stitch's ears lowered to the side of his head, and he bowed his head for now HE was feeling sorry for Gantu. Nick spoke up. "Why do you work for Hamsterviel? Don't you know he's evil? Do you really want to be on the side of evil?" Gantu responded slowly, as if he'd memorized the answer years ago. "I am a soldier and a soldier always follows orders. Nothing more." "Only this and nothing more." Lilo quoted. "The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe." Nick said. "Yep." "That poem's kinda creepy…but very interesting." "You know what else is?" "What?"

But before Nick could find out, the video screen in Gantu's ship turned on. Gantu slowly turned to face it, and stood up, trying to compose himself. A white-furred, rodent-like alien with red eyes and long ears appeared on the screen. He had a red cape with an "H" embroidered on the back, and an "H" tie that tied the cape to the short alien's neck. This was Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel. He looked from Gantu, to 625 and then to the prisoners, whom he sneered at.

"Well, well, well…I see you've finally caught 626…and another experiment to boot! Not to mention that annoying little girl and that boy you told me about." His voice was high-pitched and grating, but also sinister as well.

However, sinister voice or not, Nick wasn't frightened or intimidated on bit.

"Are you SURE you're a hamster? To tell the truth, you kinda look like a rabbit."

Hamsterviel glared at Nick. "I am HAMSTERLIKE!"

"Naaaah. You're a rabbit. In fact…"

Nick grinned broadly. "You're a wascally wabbit!"

Lilo broke into hysterical laughter. Stitch chuckled madly, and 625 snorted, trying to suppress any laughter. Gantu's face, a moment before set like stone, broke into a small smile. 421 looked over at Nick and at Stitch and Lilo and saw they were happy. He smiled too. "Happy! Happy!" he said.

Hamsterviel bounded up and down, hopping mad. Literally!

"I AM NOT A RABBIT! I AM NOT A GERBIL! I AM A HAMSTER!"

"Well if you say so, but you do LOOK like a rabbit. Look, you've even got the fluffy tail. Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail…"

"Shut up! Shut up!"

"I can understand why you're angry. I mean, you've been through a lot. You escaped from jail, then got caught again, Myrtle Edmonds thought you were a pet one time, you switched brains with Gantu AND fell in love with him once because of Hunkahunka…"

Gantu's mouth dropped open. 625 did a double take. Hamsterviel blinked slowly, then spoke. "How…do you know all of that?" "In the world I'M from, you guys are all characters in a cartoon show called "Lilo and Stitch". It continues the adventures of Lilo and Stitch after the times they had in "Lilo and Stitch the Movie" and "Stitch! The Movie". Tecnhically, you guys don't exist, but hey, I'm getting used to dealing with stuff like this. Not too long ago I went into the world of the video game Viewtiful Joe, and saved all of Movieland! I'm a superhero. Pretty boss, huh?"

Hamsterviel rubbed his chin. "And you can copy experimental powers?" "Apparently." Gantu said. 625 whistled. "So THAT'S how you knew who I was!" "Yep." "Kid…you're pretty interesting, you know?" Nick grinned. "Aw, shucks. It's nothing." "Gantu raised an eyebrow. "You certainly ARE interesting…tell me…what _else_ do you know about us?" "You were once police officer Ace Jackson. You also frequently pass as Samoan, and you were humiliated on your "birthday" because 625 invited all your high school chums to see you in an attempt to cheer you up, only to find that you'd gained tons of weight thanks to Frenchfry's cooking."

Gantu blushed. "That's…uh…that's all true."

625 started laughing.

"And 625, you once got used as bait for Splodyhead, AND while you were taunting Lilo and Stitch after you'd just kidnapped Angel, you tripped on the ground while trying to say "Bad guys win this round". You totally ruined the drama of the moment."

625 stopped laughing. "Yeah, yeah…" Now HE was bright red.

Hamsterviel almost laughed, but he thought better of it, and composed himself, looking 421 over. "What experiment is that?" he asked Gantu. "Experiment 421, the light energy generator." Hamsterviel gulped. "Fuh...fuh…four-two-one? No…I…I can't believe it! He's been activated?"

Hamsterviel shuddered slightly…then grinned sadistically. "Goooood. He'll make a PERFECT addition to my growing army of experiments. I've felt his power before…he'll do quite nicely." "Let Lilo go!" Nick demanded. "Ih!" shouted Stitch. "Let Lilo go!" Hamsterviel threw back his head and laughed cruelly. "Let her go? I think not. The girl has caused me a LOT of grief. I am going to…eliminate her! Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!" Nick drew in a breath quickly, turning to look at Lilo. Stitch's eyes widened, and he redoubled his efforts to break out of the capsule. Lilo broke into tears and curled herself into knees, sobbing into them.

Hamsterviel turned to Gantu and barked out his orders: "Kill the girl. Then send me the boy and the experiments." With that, Hamsterviel cackled madly and then the video screen blipped off. Gantu silently walked over and picked up Lilo's capsule, opening it up and placing her on the floor. She still wouldn't look up, and just sobbed, covering her face. Stitch wailed with sadness and anger and began banging his head against the capsule, but to no avail. 421's eyes watched everything…his eyes becoming more and more feral, becoming slits…

Gantu drew his plasma pistol and aimed at Lilo's head. 625 looked as if he was enjoying this about as much as he would enjoy being stuffed into an oven. "Gantu…maybe we shouldn't do this…" "Orders are orders." said Gantu stiffly. "NO! PLEASE!" Nick screamed, banging his ten-year-old fists against the capsule he was trapped in. "Gantu…please…don't…" he begged. Gantu's face was unreadable. "I must follow orders." He said solemnly. "I thought you LIKED doing good! I thought you LIKED being an officer of the law!"

Gantu sighed deeply. "I did…but…I know I'm on the side of evil now. I can't go back to what I had, what I want. Such is the price one pays for power." He raised his gun again. "Don't move and you'll die instantly." He told Lilo. 625's eyes widened. "Gantu, this doesn't feel right! We shouldn't hurt her!" "I have to do this. I have no choice." "Naga! NAGA! LILO!" Stitch wailed, tears falling from his eyes in a flood. Nick began bashing his shoulder against the capsule, but nothing was working.

Suddenly 421 spoke. "No…don't…hurt her! Won't let you!"

421's eyes had become wild slits, and he growled, showing his razor sharp teeth. He roared, and a glowing white aura burst up from his body and began spreading quickly through the room. Gantu groaned and stepped back, dropping his gun. 625 stepped back in fear, and saw that Gantu was wailing and writhing on the floor. He himself had a mild headache, nothing more.

Gantu screamed and grabbed his head, wailing horribly as he twisted on the floor. The aura was enveloping him, suffocating his very brain cells. "EVIL! EVIL!" 421 screamed. "Won't hurt anyone EVER!" Stitch gasped. He looked at his cousin, who was so filled with rage that he was spitting as he screamed. Lilo slowly stood up, feeling very, very good…relaxed…but when she saw Gantu she gasped and stepped back, falling on her butt.

Gantu tasted blood in his mouth. He was going to throw up. He was going to have a heart attack. He was going to die here, he knew it. He felt tears come to his eyes. He could see there were tears in Lilo's too, and…even in the boy's?

"421! **STOP!**" Nick screamed.

421 suddenly stopped growling and it turned to look at Nick. "Why?" it asked. The aura receded into 421. Nick wiped away some tears from his eyes and looked deep into 421 with his own moist, hazel eyes. "Gantu's not really bad, 421. He's just forced to be. He's got good in him, just like 625. Please…please don't kill him. I've seen people die in front of me, I don't ever want to see it happen again…and Lilo…she doesn't deserve to see this either. Neither does Stitch or 625. Don't kill Gantu…please…please…"

421 was silent for what seemed to be hours. Then he nodded slowly. The aura vanished. Gantu slowly staggered up and looked at Nick, along with everyone else. "Why?" he asked.

"Because it's the right thing to do." Nick said simply.

Gantu blinked his sky-blue eyes slowly, then walked over to the capsules. He let Stitch, 421 and Nick out, then walked over to the chair and plopped down in it, covering his face. "Go. Now." he said.

Nick nodded. "Gantu…thanks." "Just go."

Lilo, Stitch, 421 and Nick walked towards the exit ramp of the ship, which now lowered to let them out. They walked out and headed for Lilo's house.

625 looked over at Gantu and smiled. "That was really decent of you, partner." he said. "I owed the boy my life. I was merely repaying a debt." "You like him, don't you?" "He's a noble person." "Yeah, he is…but what's Hamsterviel gonna say when he finds out you let them go?" "I'll say that the capsules were inferior in design. 626 broke out, beat me with one punch, then freed the others and escaped." "Good. I'll say that I was hiding under the bed." "He won't doubt THAT." said Gantu. "But he'll need some physical evidence."

Gantu stood up and walked to the middle of the room. He held out his arm and made a tight fist. 625 raised an eyebrow. "Gantu…what are you…?"

Gantu slammed his fist into his eye and fell to the ground, groaning.

"Wow." said 625. "Talk about method acting."

"Owwww…"

"I'll get an ice pack." said 625, heading for the kitchen.


	14. Ohana Means Family

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

Nani couldn't stop crying, and neither could Pleakley. Both sobbed into each other's shoulders, while Jumba covered his eyes with his arm and silently cried. Cobra Bubbles fingered his sunglasses, and looked over at a picture of him and Pelekai household at Thanksgiving, with him holding up the thanksgiving turkey, all ready to be served.

"Liiiilooooo…Stiiiitch…Niiiick…" Nani sobbed. "Why? Why?" Pleakley managed to get out in between sobs. "Is all my fault…could not save them…" whispered Jumba. "It's MY fault." said Cobra, his voice hollow and empty. "I couldn't stop Hamsterviel. I was the one with the gun and I couldn't do anything."

"Hey! We're back!" "Ih! We're back!" "Did you miss us?" "Hi."

Lilo, Stitch, Nick and 421 stood in the doorway, looking very happy, very relieved, and very much alive. Nani jumped up and ran to Lilo, picking her up and twirling her around in the air. "Lilo! You're okay! You're okay! Oh, Lilo, I was so worried that you and Stitch and Nick were…were hurt…" "We're okay." said Lilo, crying tears of joy. "We missed you." Nick said. "Ih." said Stitch, running over and hugging his beaming creator, who gently hugged his creation back. "I missed you, my son." He said. Pleakley jumped up and down, whooping. "They're ALIVE! THEY'RE ALIVE!" Cobra cleaned his sunglasses, then threw them on the ground and ran over to Nick, looking down at him.

"What happened?" "421 almost killed Gantu with his light aura, but I begged 421 to stop, and when he did Gantu was so grateful he let us go." Upon hearing that Cobra smiled broadly and bent down, extending his hand. "Then I think I should be saying thank you." Cobra Bubbles said. Nick immediately shook. "It was the right thing to save Gantu, and it was really nice of him to let us go." "You must have really touched something inside him." Pleakley said. "Yeah…maybe I did." Nick thought. "Maybe I did."

Nani put Lilo down, and Stitch walked over to her, hugging her tightly. She hugged him right back, and looked at Nick. "Nick, I think you're really a part of our _ohana_ now." "Stitch…I know you're jealous of me." Stitch's eyes widened…then he nodded. "Ih." "And I bet you're afraid that I could replace you." "Ih." "You also kinda hate me because you think that I might have gotten Lilo endangered, right?" "IH." said Stitch, clenching his fists. Nick sighed sadly and looked down at the ground. "But Stitch…"

Nick looked up. He was crying slightly, a single tear falling down his cheek. "You and Lilo are my _ohana_…and I love you. You're my best friends, my family…I owe you so much. Stitch, I always was jealous of YOU, of your powers. You can protect the ones you love. For a while…I couldn't. And Lilo, you always seemed so brave and noble, and I felt I never had a chance to show I could be as brave as you."

Nick wiped his eyes. "God, I feel so dorky…I wished that I had had what you had…but now I get it. I had it all along. I had bravery and strength and nobility and all that in me…but you, Stitch, Joe and the others…I needed you guys to help me tap into it. I could never have saved my family without Joe and the others. I could never have stood up to Gantu…if you guys hadn't been in danger. I'm sorry I didn't realize earlier that I needed you more than you needed me."

Stitch was silent. Then he walked over to Nick and hugged him gently. "Nick achi-bagga." "What?" Nick asked. "He says you're his friend." "I…am?" "Ih!" said Stitch, pulling away and grinning. Nick grinned right back. "Taka, Stitch. Taka. You rock." "Naga. YOU rock." said Stitch. "And you know what?" said Lilo. "What?" "It's nice to be needed by others, Nick. But you know…sometimes…it's even nicer when you're needed…in a family."

"So…I'm…I'm really a part of your _ohana_?" Nick asked, his voice barely audible. "Yep!" said Lilo. "Ih!" said Stitch. "You bet." Nani said. "Absolutely!" said Jumba, chuckling. "Indeedy-doo!" said Pleakley. "Their word is good enough for me." Cobra Bubbles said, managing a small smile. "Muh..._mahalo_, guys…" Nick said, crying tears of joy. "_Mahalo_…"

He turned to Lilo and Stitch. "Hey…you guys can play the guitar, right?" "Yep." "Could you teach _me_ how to play?"

Lilo smiled, and took him by the hand. Stitch took him by the other hand. "Sure. It's up in our room. You really wanna learn?" "Yep!" "Teaching is good. Yeah…good." Stitch said, and the three walked up the stairs, towards Lilo's room.

About ten minutes later...

"Okay…now hold it like this."

"Like this?"

"Ih."

"Now what?"

"Strum it like I do."

Hmm…hmm…

"Okay, uh…"

Hmmmmm…hahummmm…

"Uh, wrong way. More like THIS."

Hmm…hmm…

"And don't' forget to use these."

Twist-twist-hmm…hmm…

"Okay, uh…"

Twist-twist-hmmuh…hmm…

"Almost got it!"

"Watch."

Twist-twist-hmm…hmm…

"You try."

"Okay…"

Twist-twist-hmm…hmm…

"I did it! I did it!"

"Great! Now try this…"

Twist-hmm…hmm-twist-hmm…

"Okay, uh…"

Twist-hmm…hmm-twist-hmm…

"Great! Now try THIS!"

Twist-twist-hmm-hmm-hmm-doooooo…

"All right."

Twist-twist-hmm-hmm-hmm-doooooo…

"I did it!"

"Bootifah!"

"Yeah, that was cool, Stitch."

"Hey, have you guys heard of the band Barenaked Ladies?"

"Naga."

"No, why?"

"I've got a song I always wanted to play…but I need to remember the tune…"

Then Nick's watch suddenly hummed to life, and a song began to play.

**BGM: Falling For The First Time, by Barenaked Ladies**

"Hey…that's it!" Nick said. "Okay, one…two…one two three four!" '

_I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loooseeer…  
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured ooouuut!  
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baaabyyy…  
I'm so fly, that's probably why it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!_

_I'm so green, it's really amaaaziiiing…  
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me!  
I'm so sane, it's driving me craaaazyyy…  
It's so strange, I can't believe it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!_

Nick stood up, jamming on the guitar, with Lilo beating out a drum ryhtmm on a toy drum and Stitch playing another guitar.

_Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost,  
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost!  
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?  
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind…_

Nick jumped in the air.

"_It feels just like I'm falling for the first time_!" he sang out.

"_Yeah it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!"_

_I'm so chill, no wonder it's freeeeziiing…  
I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything!  
I'm so thrilled to finally be faaailiiiing…  
I'm so done, turn me over cuz, it feels just like I'm falling for the first time!_

_Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lost…  
Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the cost?  
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost…  
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost!  
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?  
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind…_

Then Nick belted out the guitar solo end to the song, and then the music finally ceased. Lilo looked at Nick and smiled. "You're a natural!" she said. "Just like Stitch!" "Nah, it took Stitch about what, fifteen seconds, not even, to figure out how to play?" "Ih." Said Stitch, with a tone of pride. "But I wonder…how did the watch know what to play?" Nick thought. "Maybe it IS important…maybe it's got a mind of it's own…ah, I don't care." Nick looked at his _ohana_ sitting across from him and smiled. "I'm just gonna enjoy my time with my _ohana_, and worry about this watch later. I've got a jam session to play in."

Nick fingered the guitar strings and looked up at Lilo. "Hey Lilo, could you teach me "Burning Love?" he asked. "Oh, you bet!" said Lilo. "Here, hand me the guitar. Now first you gotta…"

Then 421 bounded into the room, happily laughing. "What, you like music?" 421 smiled. "Okay, you can be the drummer." "I wanna be the drummer." said Lilo. "I thought you'd wanna be the singer." Nick said. "Okay, then I'll be the singer. Stitch, you wanna be the drummer?" "Ih!" "Okay, 421 can be bass." Nick said. "Okay! Okay!" said 421. "Now, you were saying, Lilo?" "Oh, right! Okay, first hold the guitar like so then adjust these…"

And so began a new part in the adventures of Nick, Lilo and Stitch, now with a new friend by their side and the promise of great times ahead, they would face whatever threat came…but they'd face it…as family. As an _ohana_.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**Well, that's the end of the first part of my story. Nick's gonna face a new type of threat soon, but with his _ohana_ behind him, he can conquer anything!**

**Or can he?**

**You'll just have to find out. It's definitely NOT going to be your average "adventure on an island" experience! And don't forget to read and review! I've got to take a little break. **

**So aloha! That is, untiiiilll...we meeeeet...agaaaaain!**

**ngrey651**


	15. The Darkness is Rising

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

THE DARKNESS IS RISING

It was the night before school, and the Pelekai household was sleeping tightly.

Lilo was fast asleep, dreaming peacefully of playing at the beach with Stitch and Nick, her parents right behind, smiling and happy, just like her. However, just down the street, a little girl about half Lilo's age was about to unleash something dangerous upon Kauai.

The 5-year-old girl had snuck outside to play in her sandbox. She was making mud pies. She picked up her little shovel and made a huge pile of sand and dirt on one side, and then ran inside to get a big cup of water to make the pies with. She ran back and poured the water on the pile...

But in the pile was a pod the color of midnight, waiting to be activated. Water tricked down, soaking the pile and activating the pod. A moment later the pile of sand and dirt exploded as the experiment was activated. The girl shrieked and covered her eyes with her hands. She looked up.

A black dragon about three feet tall stared at her with piercing golden eyes. Golden spikes jutted from his head, going down to his tail. His had sharp, golden claws and scales that were pitch-black. On his chest was a crescent moon insignia of pure white. The girl drew in a breath, frightened. She covered her head with her arms and closed her eyes, whimpering as the dragon slowly stepped towards her.

She waited for it to hurt her...

Nothing.

The girl looked up. It was within one foot of her. It gently reached up with one of its claws and stroked her cheek with its top, making sure not to draw blood. It then took to the skies with a flap of its black, strong wings, and headed into the sky, barely visible in a few moments. The girl touched the cheek the dragon had stroked, and then ran into her house.

Meanwhile, back in Lilo's house...

421 was snoozing next to Nick, gently humming. He dreamt of happy things, things had had not seen, but things he knew existed. He dreamt of Nick, how Nick had reached out with his heart, appealing to 421. 421 smiled, and gently curled his tail up slightly, nostrils whistling a little.

Pleakley was dreaming of being on the "Dr. Okrah Show."

"Well, doctor, it's very simple. I simply used a little bit of lemonade to get that nice flavorful smell when I started cleaning the clothes." "Amazing, and now it's a patented product?" "Oh yes, my "Pleakley's Perfection" finely-scented cleaning detergents are everywhere…"

Jumba himself was dreaming of some old E.G.O days, back when he was starting out as "Grand Scion's Advocate", an assistant position but a very impressive one. Right now everyone was in the dining hall, talking, drinking…and singing!

There he was, on top of a table, dancing, legs kicking high as he waved his more-than-half-empty bottle of alcohol in the air, while people clapped to the song that Rupert was playing on his fiddle.

Good old Rupert…

_IIII…drank sixteen doubles for the price of one,  
Trying to find the courage to talk to one!  
I asked her for a dance…  
Not a second glance!  
My night had just begun… _

Well I drink to the father and the holy ghost,  
I'm kneeling at the alter of my nightly post!  
So I'll raise a glass, not the first nor last…  
Come join me in this toast!

Now EVERYONE was singing along with Jumba as Rupert kept playing.

_  
Because the old black rum's got a hold on me,  
Like a dog wrapped round my leg!  
Yeah, the old black rum's got a hold on me,  
Will I live for another day?  
Heeeeyyyy, will I live for another day?_

Jumba couldn't help but grin broadly in his sleep, chuckling deeply. "Oh boys, I am joining in! Oh the old black rum's got a hold on meee…"

Stitch, in Lilo's room, stirred in his sleep and snored lightly. He was dreaming of Angel, of how he missed her gentle hands, her kind words, her beautiful smile...and the way she had saved him...

He missed her so much...

A week ago he had gone to see 625. He had snuck into Gantu's ship when the big dummy wasn't there and had demanded to know where Angel was. "Sorry cuz." 625 had said. "I feel for you. I was hers once too, and she was mine. That was...was a long time ago." Stitch hadn't cared. He shook his cousin. "Where is she?" he had barked out in Galactic. "What did you do to her!" "I-I-I didn't do a thing. HAMSTERVIEL's the one who escaped from prison, and _he's_ got her. I got no say in what he does. Sorry."

"Please...Hamsterviel...he isn't hurting her, is he?" "...if she resists, he'll hurt her. But I told her, right before she got transported to the doc's place...that she has to be brave for your sake." Stitch had been shocked. "Why? I thought you hated me?" "I sorta do, but I can understand where you're coming from...since...since we both loved the same person. So I'll try and send her a message. What do you want I should say to her?" "Tell her...I love her...that she has to hold strong. We'll save her. Just please, Angel...hold on. Wait for me. I'll bring you back." "Good message, cuz. I'll tell her."

Angel...how he missed her...

He drifted back into a dreamless sleep, while Lilo stirred softly. Then Stitch felt thirsty. He hopped out of his bed and went downstairs. Sleeping on the couch was Nick, wrapped in a blanket and breathing softly. "Haaah...haaah...haaaah..." He was humming "Wouldn't It Be Nice" in his sleep as well.

Stitch smiled and walked to the kitchen to get a drink. Therefore, since he was downstairs, he didn't see the form that snuck into Lilo's room through the open window, which grabbed her and wrapped a clawed hand around her delicate throat, then another which clamped over her mouth.

"Ha ha ha...finally, I shall have my revenge on 626 and _you_, you stupid, inferior human!"

"MMMPPPHHH!" said Lilo, squirming desperately in her captor's grip. The form chuckled softly, and then jumped back out the window. Another form jumped in, placing a little note on the floor before looking around and then leaping back out. Stitch walked up the stairs and into he and Lilo's room. He had already finished his drink. He opened the door and saw the note. He walked over and picked it up...

And dropped the glass he had. It shattered into pieces.

"LILO!" he screamed. Nani, Jumba, Pleakley and Nick woke up, running to Lilo and Stitch's room. Nick rubbed his eyes. "Wuzz wrong?" he asked. "Lilo takya nappa biyabada guiye! Heppa! Heppa no! Badda shiya!" "Uh...what's he saying?" Jumba, face pale, translated slowly. "Lilo was kidnapped. We have to go help her, she is in serious danger!"

Lilo couldn't see. A form she couldn't concentrate on had put a blindfold on her eyes. She felt herself being held tightly in something's grip, claws digging into her body. She felt herself go UP and DOWN over and over as her captor jumped from place to place. Then she felt chilly...and the blind came off.

She was now in a huge cave. The second form stood in the shadows, and she couldn't really see him. However, he was definitely an experiment, and his outlined form was like Stitch's. The first form, her kidnapper, flung her to the ground and laughed. She saw that it was experiment 627, an experiment Jumba had made to knock Stitch down a few pegs after he'd been bragging about his great experiment-catching skill. 627 had a cone-like head, sharp black claws, and FOUR extra, retractable arms. He had big ears, and sharp fangs, and he was orange in color. He was far stronger, faster and smarter than Stitch, and he had the powers of about 16 other experiments.

"YOU! I thought we dehydrated you...I thought Jumba had you..." "He thought a lot of things. I was freed in secret by my partner here, and Hamsterviel was very eager to take me back. He gave me a few upgrades, and I now had advanced language programming..." "You're still a stupidhead!" Lilo said defiantly.

"Shut it!" said 627. Lilo tried to run, but she fell and tripped on the cave floor, making 627 laugh cruelly. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Foolish girl! Ha-ha-ha! Oh, I love seeing that..." Lilo saw her chance and rushed at him, picking up a rock from the floor...but 627 suddenly grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. "Trying to take advantage of my sense of humor? Nice try, Lilo. The doctor removed that flaw. You have no advantage against me now, girl." He laughed in her face.

"What do you want from me?" Lilo asked, feeling very scared and alone. The second form spoke as he stared out the entrance to the cave. He (It was obviously a guy) had a rebellious; almost punk-like air around him, but his voice was oddly calm and collected...though Lilo could detect some suppressed emotion in his voice.

"You are very dear to 626, and to my creator...my FATHER." The form spat the word out like it was a swear word. Lilo then saw him turn to look right at her, and she shivered. His eyes were almost pitch black, and she could see her frightened face reflecting in those deep pools. "It would break their hearts if something happened to you." He said softly.

Lilo suddenly understood.

_"No..."_

"Oh yeah!" growled 627, who tightened his grip, causing Lilo to gasp in pain. "You're going to die slowly and painfully in front of 626 and our creator, and _oh_, to see the look on their faces as the blood pours down like a…what's the term for really heavy rainfall?" "Deluge..." "What he said."

"I'M going to kill her, 627. You would give her far too cruel a death. I'll make it violent, but at least it will be quick." "You're far too kind." "She's just a child, a pawn. She deserves a little pity, even from a superior creature like me...even from you. Oh, I forgot, you don't have any pity." "Nope." 627 said proudly. "Not one ounce." "In any case, Lilo Pelekai, I will kill you. How would you like to die? I could rip your throat out...bash your head in on the wall...oh, I know...I'll break your neck. One quick twist and you're dead. It won't hurt." "Why do you hate Jumba and Stitch?" Lilo asked. The shadowed form sighed, and stepped forward into the moonlight. Lilo gasped, and 627 flung her down to the ground, chuckling. Lilo slowly stood up, shaking in pain and fear.

Before her was...Stitch! Only with a spiky yellowish mohawk, and emerald green skin. He was slightly skinner too, and he had two prominent fangs jutting from his lower jaw, but other than that, this was Stitch's double!

"I am experiment 621, Lilo. You are merely bait to serve as an instrument of revenge. With 626 and Jumba weakened psychologically by your death...it will be easy to crush Jumba and to capture 626." "His name is STITCH!" Lilo shouted, stamping her foot. 621 shrugged. "What's in a name?" he said. He reached out and took her shoulder. Lilo tried to step back, but he held her firm. "Your friends are no doubt already on their way here." 621 said softly, only an inch or two from her face. "So just relax...sit down, enjoy the time you've got left." "It's certainly not much, hairless ape." said 627, who spat on the ground.

Then a dark form appeared at the entrance of the cave. It was a dragon with black scales and golden claws and eyes. It had a crescent moon of white on its chest. "I sensed...that two beings of great dark and one of great light were in here." It spoke with a calm, polite, eloquent air, but its voice was sinister in its nature. "I remember you...you're experiment 561, aren't you?" "Yes. You are experiment 621, I remember you as well. Heh. You were one of the few that did not fear me."

"Jumba was far more afraid of you then of any other experiment, we ALL knew that. Save for maybe..."

"No. He was far more afraid of me than of 421. I was always the superior experiment. 421 was dehydrated and put back in pod form, but Jumba was so scared of me for YEARS that he didn't even TRY to dehydrate me until experiment 624 was made."

"Ah yes, experiment 624...your girl, 621." "You knew Angel?" Lilo asked 621, who nodded slowly. "I did. She and I were...close...she was the first friend had, and was more than a friend. But...she dumped me for 625. I hated her for that." "But he STILL loves her, don't'cha?" said 627, who laughed cruelly. "That's why when you were activated, your first act was to go check in on your poor, little fallen angel..."

"SHUT UP." growled 621, with incredibly fury. Lilo suddenly felt more afraid of 621 then she was of 627, but then she noticed that 561 was looking at her. "You are filled with such radiance..." it said, walking towards her. When it was close enough it wrapped it's tail around her, and pulled her close. "How beautiful you are..." very gently he stroked her hair. "Let me go...please." Lilo begged. "Now why would I do that?" 561 asked politely. "I must swallow the light. That is my purpose. Darkness always consumes light, just as night consumes the sun at the end of the day." "Yeah, but the sunrise always brings the light back!" Lilo said defiantly.

561 chuckled, then reached out with his serpentine tongue, licking Lilo's chest and trailing up to her neck, making her shiver. "Technically…but remember, the Earth itself is surrounded by the darkness of space…and no matter how much light tries, it can NEVER destroy darkness. I am a dark energy emitter, and thus I possess the true essence of power...and I shall make YOU a part of that power...by making you a part of me."

"What are you going to do?" asked Lilo, as 561 stared into her eyes unblinking. He stroked her hair, tail wrapping around her tightly, pulling her more closely.

"I think I'll give you my blessing." He said. "Tell me, have you ever heard of the term "molestation" at all?" Lilo suddenly took in a breath. "No..._no_..." "Yesss..." 561 said, pulling her closer to his body. He lowered her to the ground, still stroking her hair. He gently leaned in, closer and closer. "You cannot fight me. Just enjoy it...I know I will." 621 looked away. "That's barbaric." He said. "Forcing yourself upon a child is disgusting, but upon a HUMAN child...that's...that's practically bestiality, 561." 627 sniggered. "Yeah, good stuff! Wish I had a camer-hey, look down there!"

621 looked out of the cave and saw what 627 was pointing at. A furious Pelekai household was walking up the hills, with Stitch and Nick at the front. Nick was gripping a stick so hard his knuckles were white, and Stitch had all his antennae, spikes and extra arms out.

"The knights in furry and all-cotton armor have come to rescue you." snickered 627. 621 looked down, interested, at Nick. "So THAT'S the child who fell from the sky. I've heard much about him." Lilo spoke up. "Does Gantu even know that..." 627 snorted. "Nah, not yet. We're secret agents of Hamsterviel. If Gantu knew about us, he'd probably quit working for "Ol' fuzzy". He doesn't like the way I'D conduct business. He's gotten soft. 621 was the one who reactivated me, and HE was activated on a day that Gantu chose to sleep in and 625 chose to scribble a likeness of himself on Gantu's butt." 621 smiled. "My cousin is quite funny. There are times when I do find myself missing what I had...back when I was with Jumba. But if I see him, I'll scratch his eyes out."

"What do you call a human with half a brain? GIFTED!" said 627, who laughed maniacally. 621 rolled his eyes, and 561 glared. He didn't have ANY tolerance for jokes. 621 then rubbed his chin. "Hmm...I wonder. How did it go? Oh, I remember. A man walked into a bar...and said "Ow"." Lilo almost laughed, but she remembered that this experiment, although it felt sorry for her, wanted her and Jumba dead, and Stitch captured.

"Nick and Stitch will stop you. They're really strong!" 621 grinned cruelly. "Oh, I have no doubt that my sibling is strong...but I'm just as strong. Stronger even. You see, 626 can lift objects 3000 times his size, right?" "Yeah..." "Although I am skinnier than him...the doctor gave ME a few upgrades. I am now as strong as 627...well, almost as strong as him. He would still defeat me in a fight." "And I ain't got the patience or necessary skills for these big, fancy plans, so the doc made him smarter than me...slightly smarter, anyway." "What a team you make." 561 mused. "Now...my "cousin", you say, is coming up the slope?" "He'll be here in about ten seconds." "Good...good...an audience is always appreciated for things like these." 561 put his tongue on Lilo's chest and then licked her, trailing up from her chest to her chin. "I will REALLY enjoy this."

"LET HER GO!" "NAGA TOUCH LILO!" "You foul, evil little monster!" "Let my sister go!" "You hurt Lilo, you gotta answer to US!"

621 bowed. "Ah, my father, my cousin, the former agent, the big sister...and the boy from another world. It's an honor." 627 laughed cruelly. "You're just in time to see your precious Lilo get raped." "Hello...father. Happy to see me?" "You would not dare harm little child..." said Jumba, who was shaking in the bathrobe he'd donned. "Oh don't worry, it won't hurt. I promise. Now..."

561 brought her closer and leaned down on Lilo to kiss her. Suddenly Nick raised stepped forward, and held his right hand out in front of his body. "LEAVE...HER...**ALONE**! BRING THE HEAT!"

A burst of red light erupted from his hand, and he arched his right hand back, revealing a burning fireball in the palm of his hand. He flung it, and it whizzed through the air, barely missing 561, who ducked. "If you can't stand the heat...get outta our lives!" Nick quipped. Stitch growled in agreement and pointed at 561. "Cousin going down!"

561 flexed his claws. "Not even YOUR light is strong enough to defeat ME, "cousin"." "Maybe on our own we can't beat you, but working together we're a lot stronger!" Lilo said. Nick nodded. "Yeah! We'll beat you up! You're going down! Down to Chinatown!" Lilo looked over at him, raising an eyebrow. "You know, you're not like most kids." "Yeah." Nick admitted sheepishly. "I like that." "Really?" he asked. "Yep!" Lilo said, grinning. "Well you know...I kinda like it too." 627 spat on the ground. "These emotions are disgusting! Friendship, kindness, LOVE even...and "ooohana"...HA! Things like that are why you humans are weak creatures, and why my inferior prototype cousin is weaker than I will EVER be!"

621 looked at the gathered family, and then started chuckling. "What's so funny?" 627 demanded. Then 621 started laughing madly. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You really DO intend to fight us! This is really funny! I'm really in a good mood now. Come on, let's go." 627 blinked slowly. "What...did...you...say?" he said slowly, fury rising in him. "They ARE a nuisance when they work together. I want to pick them off one by one. Besides...I'm tired. I haven't slept in two days, remember? Not to mention the fact that we should inform Hamsterviel of 561's activation." "You...you're not serious!" "I'm quite serious. Now come on. Let's go."

621 casually walked towards the exit of the cave, around the family. "I'll see you later, daddy. I still intend to scratch your eyes out when I see you." He said. Then, just as he was about to pass them, he stopped and looked at Nick. "However, I wanna know…what is your name, human boy?" Nick brushed his slightly curly hair back, now wild with bed head. "I'm Nicholas Michael Grey...but call me Nick. Nick Grey." 621 smiled and walked off, down the slope into the dense island forest. "I'll remember it." He called back. 627, muttering Galactic obscenities at the group, walked after him. 561 looked at the family once, and licked his lips at the sight of Lilo, who shivered. Stitch stepped in front of her. "Naga touch Lilo. EVER." "I'll return for her soon enough...but you should be careful of YOURSELF, 626. After all, the closer you get to the light, the more your shadow grows. You're filled with light, true, but your darkness hasn't gone away." and with those words, 561 jumped into the air, soaring out of the cave after 621 and 627.

Nick watched them go away, and then yawned. "Well at least we didn't...have to...fiiiiiiiight..." he fell asleep, falling onto the ground, snoozing. THUMP.

"Niiiick, now's not the time!"

"ZZZ..."

"I've got him." Nani said, picking him up. "Come on, let's go home and get...yaaaaawn...some sleep."

621 frowned as he walked. That boy...

There had been something...familiar...about him.

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Experiment 561_

Experiment 561 is another one of Jumba's most dangerous (if not THE most dangerous) experiments. He is an emitter of dark energy, light energy's polar opposite, and seeks to consume all things light. He can be very cruel when he wants to, but normally acts almost charmingly polite towards his foes. Whether this is mocking or honest behavior is unknown. 561 seems to have a deep desire to be with Lilo, but also seems very interested in Nick, whom he can't quite understand…

_Experiment 621_

Experiment 621 was one of Jumba's best creations. Gifted with all of Stitch's powers, he proved himself to Jumba over and over again, but what he really cared about was a pink, lovely experiment that would later be known as Angel. Although the two deeply cared for each other, and although for a little while they had a beautiful thing going, Angel eventually fell for the newly created 625, and 621 was left alone. He is bitter against his father and his father's "best" creation, 626, who 621 views as a rival that has to die. He feels sorry for Lilo, and seems to almost-sorta like Nick…

_Experiment 627_

When Stitch was all confident, totally sure that he was the best experiment around and in need of being knocked down a few pegs, Jumba decided to make Experiment 627 to do the knocking. Stupidly though, he didn't devise a way to control him, and 627 turned out to be far too evil to be left alone. Lilo and Stitch managed to outthink him and dehydrated him, but now he's back. He's a bitter, villainous rival who enjoys seeing others suffer and feels no pity towards anything. He likes having people around, despite his protests, and he has a bad habit of drooling…


	16. School Stinks, Literally!

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

SCHOOL STINKS...LITERALLY!

"Yaaaaaaaawwwwwnnnn...is it morning already?" Nick slowly got up from the couch, rubbing his head. "Man, what an awful night. Lilo kidnapped, three dangerous experiments on the loose, and to top it all off, it's a school day today! Man, I thought I was FINISHED with school. Being 10 kinda stinks."

"What's that?" said Pleakley, who was sweeping in the living room. "I said being 10 kinda stinks. I wish I was 15-" "Lilo wished that she was older once too. But she told us that she learned that it's best to enjoy the age you're at rather than wish to be older or younger." "I guess." Nick said, shrugging.

Mental note, he thought. Don't mention you're really 15 yet.

Pleakley turned on the radio on the table, and a distinctly African American voice came on.

"Hey, America, all of you wake up! And by all of you I mean everyone in Kauai! This is KAME Radio, that's K-A-M-E Radio, bringing you the real sitch behind everything you THINK you know. Now I know you think you're smart people. But let's face it, THEY don't tell you the whole story. That's why I broadcast my message to you, America, here in Kauai…where THEY can't get me."

"Who's this guy?" Nick asked. "Oh, he's Dougie. He's been doing this charming radio show since I got here. But uh…you won't tell anyone I ordered a "The Truth's Here" apron and wig set from him will you? Pretty please?" "I won't, I won't."

"I used to think I knew everything too, but now I'm the one with more answers than "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life", and I'm here to spread the word that what you THINK you know…is WRONG. And what's wrong is thinking we still landed on the moon, Oswald killed Kennedy, and that a black man's vote **counts** in Florida!"

"Heck yeah, man! It's like…major uncool, man."

"Oh, and here's my main man Dude. Dude, tell us, what happened to YOU yesterday?"

"Well…I was like…visiting my old man…and he like, asked me if I wanted a drink…so I said, "Well yeah!". Then…I like…was drinking my Coke, and then I looked at my dad, who…was all…like, totally toothless, and I said "Woah, Dad! Where's your teeth?" And he's all like "Huh?" and I'm all "Woah!" and then I look down into my glass and see…like, my dad's teeth, yo! Freaky, man."

"That was Dude's Day, everyone. And remember, tomorrow at lunch we do "Dude's Denouncement", our weekly moment when Dude here gets to rip someone a-"

"PLEAKEY, TURN THAT RADIO DOWN!" Nani shouted from upstairs. Pleakley quickly flicked it off, gulping.

Nick hopped off of the couch and picked up his clothes. "I'd better shower." "Yeah, fighting evil is dirty work, huh?" "Yes indeed." Nick said, walking up the stairs to the shower. "I'm taking a shower, nobody use the water!" Nick shouted.

A few minutes later...

"Breakin' rocks in the hot sun! I fought the law and the law won! I fought the law and the...law won! I needed money cuz I...had none! I fought the law and the law won! I fought the law and the...law won!"

Nick belted out the chorus. "I miss my baby and I feel so saaad, I guess my race is run! Why she's the best girl that I ever haaaaAAAAAARRGGGHH!" Nick leapt out of the shower, screaming and grabbing a towel, rubbing it all over himself. "Cuh-cuh-cold...so cold..."

He stuck his head out of the bathroom door. "OKAY, WHO USED THE WATER?" Stitch walked by the stairs, a piece of toilet paper stuck to his foot. "Stiiiiiitch!" Nick shouted. Stitch looked up and Nick, then at the toilet paper. He chuckled nervously, then ran out the door. "Yeah, you'd BETTER run!" Nick shouted out.

Much later, after Nani cooked oatmeal, (Nick fed it to Stitch under the table) Nick and Lilo walked to school together. The first period class had Show-and-Tell. Lilo had something "extra special" in her backpack. "Will the class like it?" Nick asked, as they sat down. "Oh yeah! They'll love it!" "Hey, uh…Lilo?" "Yeah?" "What's the date?"

Nick had had the question bugging him in the back of his mind for a while. He HAD to know…

"It's June 12, 2005."

"Thanks."

Oh crikey! He thought. I went ahead in time AND into another realm of existence.

CCS, man. CCS.

The teacher stood up and cleared her throat. "Now, let's begin with show and tell. Who wants go fir-"

Lilo's hand shot up like lightning. "Oh, Lilo! Okay, you can go first." Lilo ran up to the front of the classroom, backpack in hand. "Hey everyone! Wait till you see what I have to show you! He's amazing, he can…" Lilo looked into her backpack. Her eyes widened, and she turned the backpack upside down. What came out was a copy of "Dracula" and "Robot Dreams" with some school books and a binder...but nothing else.

Lilo looked around the classroom.

"Uh...have you all had your shots?" she asked.

The class freaked, as did the teacher. As little girls and boys ran around, screaming at the top of their lungs, and others hid beneath their desks, Nick calmly walked over to Lilo. "Lilo, what did you bring in exactly?" "A white mouse. I've been teaching him how to walk on a pencil and how to flip and stuff." "An albino, huh? Okay. He's probably scared being in here..." Nick looked around. "Now if I was a mouse, where would I...hey, is there a hole anywhere around here?" "There are no holes in these walls!" said the teacher with a certain amount of indignity. "What about in your desk?" Nick asked, pointing at a hole at the bottom of her desk. A furry white face was poking out of it, shaking slightly. The teacher fainted dead away. Lilo gently knelt down and the mouse crawled out onto her hand.

"Okay Algernon...flip!" Lilo said, and snapped her fingers. "Algernon" immediately flipped on her hand, and the class stopped screaming and freaking out, and several students started clapping. "Nice." Nick said. Lilo took a pencil off of the teacher's desk and held it out. Algernon walked on the pencil, treating it like it was a tightrope. "Coooool." said Elena. "Not bad!" Yuki commented. "She's good." said Teresa. "Ha! Gigi can do a LOT more than that!" said Myrtle, who sneered. Nick decided to know Myrtle down a few notches. "But can your dog shred it up?" "Huh?"

Nick ran into the hallway and concentrated on his hands. Then, a moment later, a small little ice slope formed in his hands, and he quickly brought it into the classroom. "Put Algernon on the slope." He said. Lilo did, and Algernon sledded down the hill, sliding across the floor. Nick scooped him up, and then placed him on his head. "Algernon, flip!" said Lilo, snapping her fingers. Algernon did a double flip in the air, and then landed deftly on Nick's head. The class erupted in applause. "Good Algernon!" Lilo said, picking him up and petting him. He squeaked happily.

Meanwhile, outside the school...

"Get back here, trog!" "Naga! Stupidhead!"

Stitch ran around the front of the school as Gantu chased after him, with 625 huffing and puffing behind him. "Can...can we...hoo...take a...hah...a five minute...break? Or..." THUD. He fell to the ground. "Maybe a five HOUR break?" "You won't escape me this time!" "Big dummy!" Stitch ran over to the flagpole and ripped it up from the ground. Gantu immediately knew what was coming next and tried to run...

THWACK! "AAAAAAAAAAAA..." and he went flying through the air, landing on an ice cream cart, and splattering ice cream all over a fat tourist who was just about to order an ice cream cone. "I can't get a break..." the tourist said.

625 slowly stood up, rubbing his stomach. "Aw, man...I need a sandwich...hey, cuz!" "Huh?" "They got sandwiches in there?" "Ih..." "Good." 625 immediately ran inside the school, heading for the cafeteria. "Cousin, wait!" Stitch shouted, running in after him. From down the road, screams filled the air, and people ran as far as they could away from the approaching huge form that stormed through the road. Sitting on his left shoulder was 627, who was snickering madly, and 621, who was absentmindedly picking his nose with his tongue...apparently he had more in common with Stitch than just looks and powers.

"Hee hee hee...oh, I can't WAIT to see the look on Jumba's face when he finds that 626 and Lilo have been buried alive in goop! Ha-ha-ha! Oh, remind me to take a picture." "Whatever." said 621. "Just remember, this is just to stall until 561 accomplishes his mission." "Right. Hey, remember the doc's face when he saw 561?" "I didn't know he could turn whiter than his fur." "I'll bet the furry idiot wet his pants! Oh wait, he doesn't wear pants." "Ew."

The huge experiment they were sitting on was called Ploot. He was normally only about one and a half feet tall, but now he was about 50 feet high. He had crab-like claws, circular dusters for feet, a huge pouch like a kangaroo's on his belly, and a dark, sick green colored skin, with beady black eyes. His stubby ears belched out smog, and he roared, dripping blue goo from his lantern jaw. His mission: bury Lilo's school in muck and grime.

Soon 627, 621 and Ploot arrived at the school. 627 snapped his fingers. "Okay...do it. Bury them." Ploot roared and did as he was commanded. He stretched out his thick arms and aimed his crab claws at the school, opening them up. Bloo goo burst forth from the claws, raining down like a deluge of...well...you know...

Nick, at that moment, was about to demonstrate his Show-and-Tell talent, and he planned on making an ice sculpture like he had before. However, he suddenly noticed that it was raining blue SOMETHING outside the window. "Uh...what's that?" he asked the teacher, who rubbed her glasses before answering. "I...I don't know!" the teacher said. "I do." said Lilo, who quickly ran for the door. "Scusemegottagotothebathroombye!" Lilo said, and then she was out the door. Nick ran after her. "Lilo, wait! What's going on?"

Meanwhile, at that moment, 625 was eating an ice cream sandwich in the cafeteria, one that he'd snuck out of the freezer in the kitchen. The lunch ladies were annoyed. "You shouldn't be eating ice cream this early in the morning!" one nagged. "Silly dog!" 625 looked right at them and gulped down the piece of ice cream sandwich he had been eating. "Lady, I ain't a dog. Now shut up and let me eat my sandwich, tubby." The lunch lady was indignant. "How dare you!" she said. "I'm only 12 pounds overweight!" "ONLY?" 625 said, snickering. "Lady, you've been sneaking ice cream sandwiches long before I was, by the looks of it." "He's got you there, Doris!" snickered one of the other lunch ladies. "Shut it! Get me my broom!"

Then one of the janitors ran in and locked the door behind him. "Run for your lives! It's everywhere!" "What is?" The janitor didn't get to finish, but the question was answered when a flood of purple goo burst through the doors, knocking the janitor flat on his face. Goo swept through the cafeteria, and the ladies ran for their lives, tripping and sloshing around in disgusting, vomit-like goo that smelled completely rancid. 625 jumped for a light fixture and hung on for dear life. "Aw, _man_! I dropped my sandwich!" he said, as the sandwich was lost in the flood of goo.

Meanwhile, Stitch had found Lilo in the janitor's closet, and the two were now looking for air freshener. Nick, meanwhile, was running for his life from a oncoming flood of goo. "AAAAAA!" he screamed, as the goo cascaded down the halls, towards his frail, ten-year-old form. "THIS REALLY STINKS!" he shouted. "I DON'T WANNA GET GOOED!" He made a left turn...

Myrtle Edmonds and her posse were just leaving the bathroom, and were talking about how nice their hair had been styled and what great clothes they were wearing. They were suddenly surprised as Nick shoved through them. He turned and said "Sorry about tha-" and then fell, tripping on his shoelace. Myrtle and her posse walked over to him. "What on EARTH are you doing?" Myrtle asked. "Running away from the goo." Nick said, quickly tying his shoe. "Goo?"

Then it came. Myrtle and her friends didn't even have time to scream.

SPALOOOSHHHAAAHHH!

Nick slowly opened his eyes. He wasn't gooed...but Myrtle and her posse, who had stood right in front of him, had taken the blow. Now they were covered from head to toe in stinky blue goo. Myrtle screamed and ran through the flooded hallways, the girls right behind. Nick thanked God for the sudden save, and went into the nearby boy's bathroom. He closed the door and got inside a stall. Sitting down on the toilet, lid down, he sat and thought.

"Hmm...this is Ploot's doing, I'll bet. Now how did Lilo and Stitch beat him again? Hmm...hmmmm...hmmmmmm..."

Meanwhile, far away...

Victoria was playing in the backyard...or rather, sitting unhappily on her rump in the backyard. Her pet, Snooty, was getting some well-deserved R&R. Recently he'd come down with a nasty cold of some kind. Snooty, in case you were wondering, was a light purple, bat-like experiment who was designed to mine and enrich a galactic substance known as Snootonium. When enriched, it's makes things go boom. BIG BOOM. Luckily there's none on Earth. However, there IS mucus, which is remarkably similar to snootonium in chemical compositon. So Snooty was a snot vampire, and he kept Victoria's sinuses clean.

"I gotta cheer up." She thought. "I can't let Snooty being sick get me down. He wouldn't want me to be unhappy." A few moments later, Victoria was lying back on the grass, singing a favorite song. "Some bright morning, when this life is over, I'll fly away, fly awaaay…to a laaand on God's celestial shore…I'll fly away, fly awaaay…I'll fly away fly away oh glory, I'll fly away, fly away, in the mornin…"

The girl looked up at the clouds, breathing deeply and now feeling very at peace. "That one's a duck. Hey, and that one looks like Stitch! Ooh, and THAT one looks like the Statue of Liberty!" "Another being of light...as young and innocent as Lilo, too. I've heard a bit about you. You're Victoria, Lilo's best friend, aren't you?"

Victoria suddenly sat up and saw a black dragon experiment in back of her, sitting calmly with folded arms, tapping it's claws on each arm. "Hello, human child. I am experiment 561. You are going to be bait." "B-bait?" Victoria said, shivering. "Yes...Lilo cares deeply for your safety, you are her best friend. So when she finds out what I've done to you...oh, the grief she'll feel...it will be delicious, really."

"You-you-you keep Lilo out of this! You stay away from her! She's _my_ friend too! Leave her ALONE!" "You wish." 561 said, laughing softly. Victoria stood up and picked up a small stick from the ground. 561 raised an eyebrow. "You intend to...ha-ha-ha! This should be interesting. Foolish girl, you can't beat me! You cannot even SCRATCH me. I'll enjoy spreading my darkness through you."

561 stood up and spread its wings. It closed its golden eyes and then opened them, showing feral pupils. A dark aura suddenly rushed towards Victoria, enveloping her, choking her. "Ugh! Get...get this off me! Argh! It stings!" Victoria flailed around in the darkness that surrounded her, desperately trying to break free.

"You're only wasting your energy." 561 said. "Stop fighting it. Give in. Let the darkness consume you, like it was always meant to...like it is always meant to consume ALL THINGS LIGHT!"

561 threw his head back and laughed cruelly, as Victoria screamed in pain and fear. Suddenly she felt cold...very cold...and then she fainted. The aura vanished into 561, who walked over and picked Victoria up. "Perfect, out cold. Now, child...you're coming with me. 621 and 627 don't like to be kept waiting."

Back at the school...

Lilo ran outside, sloshing through the goo with Stitch by her side, and air fresheners in hand. Nick was already outside, and getting knocked around by Ploot's claws. "OW-OW-OW-OW-OW!" he groaned as Ploot hammered on him over and over. "Come on, Stitch!" Lilo said, rushing at Ploot. 627 and 621 were mysteriously absent. Lilo held up "Double Cherry Bloom" and "Bubble Gum Breeze" while Stitch held up "Apple Pie Aroma" and "Eau de Donut", along with "Scent of Lemon Slice" and "Classic Berry Blast". "Ready?" "Ready." "Aim!" "Aim!" "FIRE!"

Fshhhh...

**SFX**: Waa-waa-waaaaa...

"They're all empty?..." Lilo said, voice breaking. "Huuuuh?" Stitch said, shaking them up and down. Yep. All empty. "Aw, dang!" Nick said. Ploot roared and lowered his crab claws at them. "Like, this is SUCH a lousy way to die!" Nick said. "It's got to be #6 on the "Top Ten Stupidest Ways to Die"!" "We're gonna need a miracle." Lilo said.

"Ha HA! I've got you now, trog!"

"Or a big dummy." Nick said.

Riding towards the school, driving a truck filled to the brim with air fresheners, was Gantu in a stolen truck. "I know your weakness, and once you catch a whiff of all of these, you'll be MINE!"

Nick looked at Lilo. "Think we should run?"

"Oh yeah." she said.

"Ih." agreed Stitch.

They turned and ran for their lives. Ploot turned just in time to watch as Gantu jumped out of the truck a moment before it collided with the surprised Ploot.

KABOOOOOOOM! FWOOOOOSH!

About 1000 different air fresheners got their contents released into the air, and they spread all over Ploot, who spluttered and gasped as he shrunk to a tinier and tinier size. Nick poked his head out from behind the bush he was hiding behind. A moment later, Ploot was back to his normal size, and was now cute and cuddly. "Awwww..." Nick said. "Gotcha!" said Gantu, grabbing Ploot and squeezing him. "The doctor will be quite pleased." gloated Gantu. Suddenly Nick tapped him on the leg. "What?" he said, turning to look down at Nick. Nick held Stitch up to Gantu's face. "Get 'em." He said.

Stitch slashed Gantu across the face, and Gantu fell down, dropping Gantu. Nick caught Ploot, who chirped like a dolphin. Nick looked down at his hands and noticed they were now glowing purple. "Cool...another power." Nick said. He handed Ploot to Lilo and held out his index and pointer finger. "Okay…here I go! TOXIC BULLET!" Nick's fingers glowed brightly, then, suddenly a bullet-like projectile shot out from the fingers, hitting Gantu and sending him flying onto the flagpole…where he was suspended from his underwear.

"Hmm…red heart boxers?" "Naw, those are briefs." 625 said. He walked past them and spat out blue goo from his mouth, then headed in the direction of Gantu's ship. "I'll go get the ladder, buddy." "Hurry uuuppp…" groaned Gantu. Nick sighed and turned around. He saw that dozens of kids now surrounded him.

"That was so COOL!"

"You're amazing!"

"Lilo, your friend is really cool!"

"Do you like ramen?"

"Do that again! Do it again!"

"What ELSE can you do?"

"Can you do that thing with the mouse as well?"

Nick looked over at Lilo. "Hey Lilo...when's the next period start?" "Uh, I think school's gonna be canceled until they clean all this up." "Okay, then...how about an encore presentation of Algernon, only this time..." Nick held up his hand, which began to emit a flaming aura. "Let's spice it up a little..."

Ten minutes later...

"And now, Algernon the Amazing will sled down this icy slope through the ring of fire, to land on Lilo's head with a flip! Can he do it? Can he do it?"

"ALGERNON! ALGERNON! ALGERNON!"

"And he's off!..."


	17. The One Wherein There's a Big Bad Twist!

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

THE ONE WHEREIN THERE IS A BIG, BAD TWIST, PT.1

At the Pelekai household, Jumba fiddled away with the coffee machine, adding some strange packet of powder to the mix and stirring, all the while singing a song that sounded oddly like "99 Bottles of Pop on the Wall"…

"Meegota beestas da reeba tellah, Meegota beestas da reeeeb...queesta nod, see-patalla, neuveta beestas da reeba tellah. Neuveta beestas da reeba tellah, Neuveta beestas da reeeeb..."

Nani stepped into the kitchen, smelling something slightly odd. "Jumba, what are you working on NOW?" "Relax older girl. Am simply making coffee." "I thought you didn't like coffee." "That was noodle man coffee. This is evil genius coffee! Added little "zing" to it...heh heh." "Well I'm not drinking it." "Is harmless! Watch!"

Glug...glug...glug...

One small explosion later, Jumba's three hairs were on fire.

"Hmm. Perhaps was adding bit too much zing..." "I wonder how Nick and Lilo are doing at school." "Speaking of Nick, am needing to be having talk with little boy." "What about?" "My quadracular vision enables me to see things normal humans…or noodle men…can not. I noticed Nick's hand when he gave a belly-rubbing to Experiment 421…hand emitted aura…but colorless aura…with faintest tint of light. Only someone with eyesight like mine could have seen it's not-color, all others may only have seen small distortion of air." "So what does that mean?" "Am not sure. Is why am wanting to talk to little boy."

Pleakley, meanwhile, was listening to Dude's Denouncement from the bathroom.

"I have worked my entire life to ensure that the ideals of freedom and democracy will remain behind for future generations of Hawaiians. The new policies of the Bush Administration are continuing to impede our flow towards a good, free society. The Patriot Act is still in place. We are still in Iraq."

"My vote **still** don't count!"

"We need solutions that will bring us toward a brighter future, and we need to deal with our problems of today so that they do not become the crises of tomorrow."

"Dude, that was beautiful."

"Well like, thanks man. I gotta go do something. Blunt's burning, man."

"I thought you gave up smokin', man! Dontcha know it leaves yo' mind open to hypnosis AND kills of brain cells faster than watching "American Dad" reruns at 1 AM?"

"No, I mean a Blunt as in a James Blunt. I'm burning a CD, man."

"Okay. Just a little reminder to you folks out there, we do NOT support any illegal…music…sharing…pffffft! Guh-guh-good…ha-ha-ha…buh-bbbye! HA-HA-HA!"

Pleakley wiped a tear away. He was a sucker for that kind of Conspiracy Theorist/Freedom Fighter type of thing.

A knock came at the door, and 421, who had been cleaning the bathroom with Pleakley, went to get it. "Hiiii." He said. Then his eyes widened as a clawed hand shoved him to the ground. "Hello...cuz." said 627, with 621 right behind him. "Hey, 621, can I?" "No. We deal with the others first." Nani stepped into the living room and saw them, screaming. Jumba ran to help her, armed with a heavy spoon, but he dropped it when he saw 621 and 627. "Oh no..." "Oh yes." 621 said, sneering. "Revenge is a dish best served quickly. I told you I'd scratch your eyes out, Daddy...get ready."

Meanwhile, Nick and Lilo were triumphantly returning home, with Stitch right behind, grinning. "Now that was a great day of school." Nick said. "We get to go home early, we got to show off, we got to kick Gantu's butt, AND we saved Ploot!" Lilo smiled."Yep! The air freshener brought him back to normal..." then Lilo hung her head, sad. "Too bad the other experiments are still being all evil." "We'll find a way to make them good too." Nick said. "Ih! Cousin good!" said Stitch.

They continued walking down the sidewalk, and coming up was the left turn that would take them to Lilo's driveway. Suddenly they noticed that 627 was hanging around the street corner. He had on shades, which he took off when he saw Lilo, Stitch and Nick coming towards him. "Welly-welly-well. If it isn't the loser and the freaks, and Grey, you're included among both categories." "Oh, really? Well...well have you looked in a mirror lately?" Nick shot back. "You're butt-ugly!" "You seem to think I care." 627 said, smirking. "You're dumb, too!" added Lilo.

627's smirk suddenly shattered, and became a cold, taut line. "What...did you say?" he whispered, in a soft, dangerous tone. "Yeah!" Stitch shouted. "Cousin dumb!" Nick suddenly got an idea. "You're so dumb, you have an IQ in the single digits! You're so dumb, when you picked up a quarter you tried to return it to "Mr. Washington"! You're so dumb..." "You sit on the TV and watch the couch!" Lilo said. "Cousin so dumb, nama tooki bama jadi, soomy wava cummo!" "Uh, what did he say?" "I don't get it." Lilo said, shrugging.

627 squeezed his glasses so hard that they shattered. The little specks of black plastic fell to the ground, and he glared with total hate at the three of them. "You inferior weaklings! Well _we_ have the last laugh!" he smirked again, a very, VERY nasty smirk. "561 caught your friend, Victoria. He's roughed her up pretty bad...heh...and done more than roughing her up, too." "What...what are you saying?" Nick said. "You should have seen that weak little red-head squirm when he forced her into a lip-lock. Oh, and she screamed a lot when I whipped her with my claws. I wonder if she'll scream when 561 forces himself on her in front of you-"

Suddenly 627 was pinned down to the ground by Stitch. "Where's Victoria!" Stitch roared. 627 shoved him off, and stood up, brushing himself off. "Follow me...I'll show you. You won't like what you see, but hey...I don't care." Laughing, he walked down the sidewalk and took a left, up the road towards Lilo's house. Suddenly he stopped and turned around, sneering. "Your family got roughed up a lot toooooo." he sang, before bolting away. Lilo turned pale. Nick felt sick to his stomach, and Stitch gasped. They ran after 627, and up the road.

A few minutes later they saw Pleakley, Jumba, and Nani, all hanging from a tree by their wrists. 421 was pinned beneath 627's foot, who was stomping the poor dragon's head into the ground. 421 was crying, white tears falling from his eyes, his sob as heartrending as a baby's cry. Jumba opened his blackened and scratched-at eyes. Nani stirred lightly, her back bruised and bleeding. Pleakley had been poked in the eye five times, and had been punched in the stomach so hard he'd thrown up. He coughed and spluttered as he looked up at Nick, who walked towards them. "Oh my God! Guys, hold on, I'll..."

"I think not, child of light."

There, at the top of Lilo's house, was Victoria, with 561 gripping her by the neck, claws digging in slightly, drawing a bit of blood. Victoria whimpered in fear. "You know what will happen if I squeeze, don't you?" 561 said softly. Jumba managed to speak up. "Stop! Little red-head girl friend is innocent!" "You're in no position to beg for anything, father." said 621, who was standing by the tree Jumba and the others were hanging from, leisurely scratching his belly. "Unless you want to beg me to kill you. That will come. Soon. But first..." 621 looked right at Lilo, Stitch and Nick.

"You two." He pointed at Lilo and Stitch. "Put your hands behind your head, or I'll slice Jumba's guts out. And you, boy..." "My name is NICK." Nick said, feeling very, VERY angry. "What's in a name? Now...you will surrender. Right now. Walk over THERE, with your hands behind your head." 621 pointed at a spot near a boulder. Nick looked at Lilo. "Stay strong, Lilo." He said. "Stitch..." he turned to Stitch. "If...if I get...hurt...take care of her." "Ih." said Stitch, who had all of his hands and arms behind his back. Lilo slowly nodded, trying hard not to cry and failing. Nick walked over to the boulder.

Suddenly Gantu leapt out from behind it, slamming a containment capsule down!

"What the?" Nick said.

"Gotcha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaah! Finally caught you, human. After you humiliated me, I headed back to my ship, and 621 was there to greet me, to tell me of Dr. Hamsterviel's secret plan. I came here, and you know the rest. Now I've got you, at last! And best of all...no annoying girl and no 626 or ANY other experiment can stop me now."

Gantu picked the capsule with Nick in it up, and placed it on his back, strapping it into its special carrying backpack. Nick banged his fists uselessly against the glass. "Darn you! Darn you! Let me out!"

621 looked up at Jumba, who was staring down at him.

"Why?" Jumba asked, voice barely a whisper.

"Why?" 621 said, tone rising in anger. "You ask me _WHY_! You mean you don't remember? **YOU RUINED MY LIFE WHEN YOU MADE 625!** I HAD A WONDERFUL THING...a...a beautiful thing...with her...with 624. Then...then you made him. And then he got himself blown up in that stupid mission, and got all "uglified", and 624 STILL chose him over me! Oh, and after that mission ALL you could DO was TALK and TALK about "eeexperimeeent seeex two seeeeeeex" and how superior he was gonna be and...and...and **it's all your fault**!"

621 stomped on the ground, fists clenched tight. "You ruined my life...so I'm gonna ruin yours. You took everything away from me...so I'm gonna return the favor." Lilo spoke up. "Jumba didn't mean to take anything from you!" she said. "He was just...making experiments. He didn't know you'd get upset. And just because 624 liked 625 more than you, it didn't mean she didn't like you anymore...right?"

621 was silent. Then he started laughing madly. "What's so funny?" 627 snapped. 561 grinned sadistically. "Poor, foolish girl. His darkness is like a fresh wound...you've just rubbed salt in it by reminding him of ages past. He's filled with so much grief and rage...not even YOUR light can break it. Not even your great kindness, not even his cousin's love, not even the desperate pleading of a sympathetic heart can help him. He's lost to the darkness...and soon, the boy will be too. Once 624 turns him evil."

Nick suddenly snapped his fingers. "Ah-ha! That's it! Hamsterviel got his stupid paws on Angel, and has been using her to turn good experiments bad! He's been making an army of elemental-like experiments, isn't he?" "Correct." Gantu said. "Pretty clever, aren't you?" "And lemme guess...he wants ME to lead the army of something?" "Bingo." said 625, who walked out of the bushes, nibbling slowly on a tuna fish sandwich. "Got it right the first time. And what's his prize?" 627 walked over to Nick and sneered at him. "Simple. Victoria gets to live, as do the rest of you. But I don't think Nick will be so lucky if he resists..."

"You'd better not hurt them...if I hear you've hurt them...I'll...I'll break out and…and…" He was so angry he couldn't get any sentences complete. 627 laughed. "Fool! You can't do anything to stop us." 621 waved a hand. "Gantu, let's go. 561, release the girl." "Of course." said 561. He jumped off the roof and placed a frightened Victoria on the ground, then swooped into the air, hovering there. Gantu walked off into the woods, towards his ship, while 627, 625 and 561 followed him. 621 began walking after him.

"My son...please...I am being so sorry for what I did to you...do not punish innocent family because of my mistakes...please..."

Jumba was begging, his eyes brimming with tears. 621 slowly turned around, smiling cruelly. "You've just begun to suffer, father. Just wait...I have yet to nick the surface. The best...or should I say worst...is to come."

He laughed cruelly, and followed the others. Jumba hung his head, sobbing. Victoria ran over to Lilo, and the two hugged. "Lilo, I was so scared! He...he hurt me bad...and he made me watch that orange jerk hurt your family..." "Cousin evil." Stitch snarled. "Cousin going DOWN." He slammed his fist into his palm. "We gotta save Nick!" Lilo said. "But we gotta get you guys some first aid." she added, looking up at Jumba and the others. "I think I'm gonna..._ugh_...aw, why me? Come on, almighty one...I've got nothing left to throw up but my glorfnacks..."

About half an hour later, Nick was removed from his capsule forcefully thrown down onto the floor of Gantu's ship, in front of Hamsterviel, who was sitting in the Captain's chair that was turned around, and…he was singing to himself.

"Wise men say…only fools rush in…but I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay…would it be a sin?…If I can't help falling in love with you? Like a river flows surely to the sea…"

"Hey, you like Elvis too?"

Hamsterviel turned around, eyes widening. "You! Oh! Oh, you're here. Um…uh…how long were you there?" He asked, slightly quiet. "A little while. Elvis rocks, huh?" "Um…yes. Uh…" Hamsterviel cleared his throat, trying to be evil again. "I am very glad 621 informed me that YOU had been caught…though I didn't expect you to come so soon. I parked my ship not too far away from the island you now live on...and I COULD interrogate you there...but I just HAD to do it here, because Gantu's chair happens to be far comfier than my own." "That's true." admitted 625 grudgingly. "It IS fairly comfy." said 561.

Hamsterviel grinned and stood up. "Sooo...you thought you could defeat my experimental scouts, did you, you oh-so-funny-but-still-annoying do-gooder, you? Ha! I am the one who has the last laugh, and now you will command my army of experiments! Ha-ha-ha! And if you are really as powerful as I believe you are, then I will clone you and make an army of invincible warriors! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!" "Clone me? Aw, dang..." "That's right. You probably know that my patented cloning process has a very nasty side effect...I have to cut you...in _half_! Ha-ha-ha!"

"You wascally wabbit!" Nick spat out.

Gantu slammed his foot into Nick, making him gasp. Hamsterviel sat down on his chair, sticking his tongue out at Nick, who stuck his own tongue out. "Take the annoying boy to the re-education room of my ship...but knock him unconscious first. I don't want him seeing anything that could possibly help his friends, like the location of my oh-so-secret-command center." 561 nodded, and spread his claws in the direction of Nick. The dark energy aura whizzed towards him. "Yipe." Nick said. Then all was dark, and he was knocked out.

A few minutes later, he found himself in a chair, in a very blank, cold and dark room. A light shone down on his chair, and he saw two slowly blinking eyes in front of him.

"Huh?" he said. "Wait a tick. I know you, you're...you're..." Angel stepped forward, and hopped onto his lap. She had long, tendril-like antennae, and looked a lot like Stitch, only she was slender and beautiful, with big, sexy eyes, red claws, and pink fur. She also had a big white "V" insignia on her chest. "Probably stands for "villain" or something." Nick thought. She smiled at him with bedroom eyes. "Oh jeez...Hamsterviel's gotten to you all right." Angel suddenly grabbed at her breasts.

"What the?" Nick said. Then she started...well...making circle motions with them, licking her right and left breast respectively.

Nick's face looked like a mixture of emotions. It looked kinda like he'd been hit in the face with a shoe. "Yikes, he's REALLY gotten to you! Look, that's disgusting alright, I'm NOT into any of that freaky-deeky stuff, okay? **REALLY** not into it! And certainly NOT interested in even getting so much as a KISS from you! So back off!"

She reached for his neck and rubbed it, making him shudder. "Stuh...stay back...uh...I know tae-kwon-do! I watch my brother practice and stuff! Back off!" He started squirming, but she was a lot stronger than he was, and held him still. Then Angel leaned in to his ear and whispered...

It was a strange, alien song. But it was hypnotic...alluring..._sexy_...

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Experiment 624, AKA Angel_

Angel is another one of Jumba's most dangerous (and successful) experiments. She has the ability to sing a song turn any normally good person evil. That's right, she's a Siren-like experiment. She has fallen in love precisely three times, once with 621, once with 625, and one last time, with Stitch, who, deep down, she would gladly give her life for. According to 625, she's currently been brainwashed by Hamsterviel to make experiments bad, and has been consumed with lustful, overly passionate thoughts as a result. She is deathly afraid of 561…


	18. The One Wherein There's a Twist, Pt2!

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

THE ONE WHEREIN THERE IS A BIG, BAD TWIST, PT.2

"You gotta get READY, people! The alien invasion's comin' any day now!" Dougie said. David reached up and shut it off completely.

Cobra slammed his fist into the dining room table. "That stupid rodent!" he roared. "He's gone too far this time." Jumba said, grinding his teeth. Lilo was crying upstairs in her room, and Nick was sitting with Victoria, hugging her gently as she cried into his shoulder. It was all too much for the girls to cope with. Nani stared off into space, not really there at all, and Pleakley was in the bathroom, sick to his stomach. 421 sat outside on the porch, looking intently up at the sky, not blinking. Jumba clenched his fist.

"Poor boy...being used for evil. And we were bait. Now who knows what Hamsterviel will make him do?" Jumba shook his head sadly. Cobra took off his sunglasses and looked over at Nani. "I'm also concerned about Lilo. She seems very distraught. Nani, can you..." but Nani wasn't there. She was in her own world. "Nevermind." "I will be talking to her." Jumba said, standing up and heading for the stairs. "I have an idea that we could use to save experiments...might cheer her up."

Lilo, upstairs in her room, was sobbing into a pillow. Seeing her family hurt, her friend in grave danger, and Nick kidnapped...it was breaking her apart. Jumba very gently knocked on the door. "Little girl? Little girl?"

"Waaaaah...aaaaauuuuuhh...wuuuuaaaahhhh-hah-hah-haaaaauuuuh..."

"Little girl...I think I know how we can turn experiments back to normal, and if Nick comes here and is evil, we...we can save him too."

Lilo slowly looked up. "Wuh-what? We...we can save them? And Nick?"

"Yes. 621 said 624 was turning experiments evil, correct? I think I know how we can save experiments and boy that were turn-ed evil. 624's power is based on musical neurological linguistic behavior patterns, which produce a strong psychological affect that triggers reversal of basic polarity of a person's nature. Since song is a psychological modification trigger, is possible very strong psychological shock might be able to break a victim free from 624's sireny song."

"You mean we gotta scare them or something?"

"Or make them see something so psychologically damaging that they faint and break the spell. Is long shot...very long shot...only has 1 in 241, 989 chance of success, but..."

Jumba grinned. "Is better odds than what we usually deal with, heh-heh. Funny thing, though…song does not seem to effect beings with immense amount of dark energy within them, like 561. I once had Angel sing to him backwards…nothing happened. Perhaps effect is same for those with light energy…maybe energy signature interferes with frequency broadcast of song. Also, am not sure Angel's song will even turn Nick evil, usually song only working on previously evil persons, save for those who-"

At that moment, the door swung open downstairs. Pleakley walked out of the bathroom and shouted. "NICK!"

Nick was standing there, very badly bruised, sporting a black eye, and limping slightly.

"Hey guys...I got awaaaaaaay..." and then he fell to the floor with a "thwump." Lilo and Jumba ran downstairs and gasped at the sight. "He is alive? He is well? He got away?" "I KNEW Nick could escape!" "Come on, help me get him on the couch!" Cobra Bubbles said, and Jumba helped lift Nick to the couch, laying him gently down. Nani, snapped out of her depressed and almost comatose state, ran for the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel, dousing it in water. She ran back to Nick and placed it over his forehead, while Pleakley brought a drink of water. The water soothed Nick's head, and he slowly opened his eyes. Pleakley gave him the glass and he sipped it slowly.

"I got really lucky. When Angel sang to me, she left out a word...and I realized she was trying to help me escape. So I pretended to be evil, and when they let me out of the re-education room, I ran for the escape pod. Unfortunately 627 jumped on me, and after a little struggle...oh, MAN my leg is sore...I shoved him off, jumped into the escape pod, closed the door and jettisoned away from Hamsterjerk's ship. I made my way back here, and you know the rest."

"I KNEW Angel couldn't be totally evil!" Stitch thought. "She saw that Nick had a chance to help her, so she helped him escape!"

"Do you know where Hamsterviel's ship is now?" "Yeah...I saw it. It's parked around the cove, but hidden behind a huge cliff. I'd take you to it, but...owww...I'm really sore. I gotta rest."

"Don't worry. Me and Stitch can take him!" Lilo said, smiling broadly. "Ih!" said Stitch, raising himself up proudly. "Bad mousey going down!" "He's more like a wascally wabbit." Nick said, snickering. He suddenly grabbed Stitch's hand. "Stitch...don't underestimate him. He's really dangerous this time. You won't believe what he's done." Stitch slowly nodded. "Ih. Takka, achi-baba." Lilo ran out of the house with Stitch right behind. "Come on, we've gotta get to the cove!" she said. "Ih." Stitch pointed at the buggy. "Let's rock- a-hula!" Lilo said, smacking her fist against Stitch's. "Yeah!" Stitch agreed.

Nick watched out the window as Lilo and Stitch drove off in the buggy. He grinned to himself. "Perfect." He said, then he turned to look at the others. "I gotta take a nap." He said. "I'm really tired." "Okay, we'd better let him get some sleep." Nani said, and everyone left the room to give him some privacy. Nick waited for them all to leave, then snickered. "Just perfect...heh-heh-heh-heh-heh..."

Lilo and Stitch finally arrived at the cove. Stitch stopped the car and Lilo got out, looking around. "Nick said that it was parked around here somewhere..." "Ih." Stitch got out of the car, and walked around the beach, sniffing the air. "Hmm...it's kinda quiet. And dark too."

Then they noticed that they were standing in the shadow of something. They looked up...

Hamsterviel's spaceship. "Yikes! He got a BIGGER one?" Lilo asked. "Ih." said Stitch, amazed at the size. He walked towards the buggy to get his plasma blasters, which he had in the trunk. Suddenly a huge fireball flew towards the buggy, and Stitch jumped away just in time to knock Lilo down and away from the blast. Lilo looked at the wreckage of the buggy and gasped. "Who could have done that?" she asked.

"Oh, Stiiiitch! Stop me if you've heard this one." said a familiar voice.

Lilo and Stitch stood up and looked down the beach at Nick, who was grinning nastily.

"Meega...nala qweesta!" Nick said sinisterly.

Nick had fought the message behind the song.

_Ahcoota choonutro... _

He had fought hard.

_Degatah no mootah..._

But he lost all the same.

_Naga tonala... _

And when he had opened his eyes again, they belonged to the same boy, but now...to a different soul.

_Eetruma tadrutah..._

In other words…he was evil now.

Stitch immediately lost it, and antennae, spikes and extra arms all sprung from his body as he rushed at Nick, who just whistled nonchalantly. "RAAAARRR!" Stitch roared, and he jumped at Nick. Nick leisurely drew his fist back, and then slammed it into Stitch's face. THWAM! Stitch flew through the air, skidding on the beach and slamming into an abandoned sea castle.

"Nick, what are you doing?" Lilo asked, frightened. "You guys are pretty gullible." Nick said. "I _didn't_ escape. I got turned evil, and in order for me to make you think I'd gotten away, I got 627 to beat me up a bit. Then I returned here in an escape pod. The plan was simple...get you two away from your family, while 627, 621 and 561 eliminate them, and I get to kill YOU, 626." "My name STITCH!" Stitch shouted, jumping up and baring his teeth. Nick waved a finger in the air. "Okay, Stitchy boy. Let me instruct you on why you can't win. One...I can take more punishment than you because I'm bigger. Two...I can use elemental powers. And three, and this is the cruncher, as Inspector Flying Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard said in Monty Python..." Nick cracked his knuckles. "When I grabbed your arm I copied your power. I can now lift objects 3000 times my size!" Stitch gasped. Lilo shivered, holding tightly onto Stitch.

"Stitch, at the very most, you weight about 20 kilograms, or 44 pounds. So if you take that into account when figuring out how much you can lift, you can lift...um..."

Nick rubbed his head. "Let's see...uh..."

Nick got on his knees and started scribbling in the sand with his finger. "Let's see...convert kilograms to pounds with conversion formula, how did that go again? Oh...right! Yeah, then this...and this...got it! Then multiply..."

Lilo whispered in Stitch's ear. "He's easily distracted, so maybe you can use that as a way to beat him. I'm gonna go get Jumba, he said he could help cure Nick." "Ih." said Stitch. "Distract. Got it."

"Okay, you can lift up to about 60000 kilograms, or 66 tons. And I can lift...let's see..." More scribbling. Stitch ran forward. "Kiyaaaah!" he shouted. Nick looked up and rolled his eyes. He batted Stitch away and went back to converting. "Let's see...hmm...okay, add that...then multiply..." Stitch staggered to his feet, but was surprised when Nick jumped up in the air. "Eureka! I can lift up to about 270000 kilograms, or a whopping 290 tons!" He started dancing around, shaking his butt in the air. "Who's bad? Who's bad? I'm bad! I'm bad! Go me, go me, it's my birthday! It's my birthday! Gonna party like it's my birthday!"

Stitch sweatdropped. "Uhhhh..."

Nick kept doing a victory dance. "Oh yeah...I'm bad, I'm bad, I'm..."

"Human, what do you think you are DOING?"

Hamsterviel, Gantu and 625 were suddenly beamed down from the spaceship. "Do not worry, I have the ship on "Park" for about...fifteen minutes. Which should be MORE than enough time for YOU to beat 626 into submission!" snarled Hamsterviel, looking angrily at Nick. "Oh, stop whining. I'll beat 626 no problem...hey...I just realized something." "What?" Hamsterviel asked. "You look kinda dorky." "What do you mean?" "Your cape. A big "H" on the back of a red cape? And an "H" clasp to tie it together? Dumb! Plus your spaceship looks dorky too. Is that a water bottle on the back?" "It is a special, patented jet system!" Hamsterviel defended, though rather lamely. "It looks like it could use a paint job at the very least. You should draw some hot-rod flames." "Hey, kid's got a point." said 625, who was currently eating a pepperoni and mozzarella sandwich. "Hot rod flames make pretty much ANYTHING look good." "

Stitch thanked his lucky stars that Nick was easily distracted. Hmm…and maybe he wasn't quite evil either...

"Look, there's something else you need to fix." "What?"

Nick casually walked over to Hamsterviel and put his hand out. It was about three inches higher than Hamsterviel's head. "See?" Hamsterviel blushed. "Okay, I happen to be short. So what?" "If you wanna intimidate people, you gotta have a good stature, or something to compensate. I suggest a robotic suit or something. Or maybe build yourself a new body and transfer your brain to it. Could you do that?" "Well, it has been done. But...that is very risky." "You said it." Gantu said, speaking up, and shuddering slightly.

"The last person who tried it...well, at least he made the papers." "What happened to the last guy who tried it?" Hamsterviel's eyes clouded over with memory. "His name was Rahry. He...uh...he and I were schoolmates. He belonged to E.G.O for a while, but he failed to meet the standards of the "Evil Evaluation Exam" or "EEE" when he tried to switch his brain to that of another alien belonging to E.G.O." "So what happened?" "Rahry's brain melted." said Hamsterviel, shaking with terror at the memory of seeing Rahry collapse on the floor, twitching slightly...

"Geeeez!" Nick said. "That's disgusting! Well you should still try to improve your appearance, Hamsterviel. Also, how do you plan on dying?" "Huh?" "How do you accept defeat?" "With a promise to come back even stronger than before!" "Okay, but suppose you can't keep it up forever. What are you gonna do if THEY keep getting stronger?" "They?" "Lilo and 626." "Well, uh...I...I guess I could crash my ship into their house, wiping them out." "Would that really work?" "I don't know, I am, how you say, spit-balling here!"

Then, suddenly, Jumba, Pleakley and Nani appeared. Jumba was carrying Lilo, who was very, VERY still.

"What on Earth?" Nick said. Stitch gasped. Gantu's eyes widened, and 625 stared at Lilo, eyes wide. Hamsterviel seemed to be making choking sounds.

"She...she is no longer living." Jumba said, huge tears coming to his eyes. "We escape-ed from experiments...but...but Lilo fell...broke neck. She is dead."

Nick stood up slowly, looking at Jumba, Pleakley and Nani. He then turned his head to look at Lilo, who was so horribly still and not breathing. Her arm hung loosely, her hair was slightly messed up and it blew in the breeze. Her face was filled with an odd sense of peace.

"No..."

Nick stepped forward. Suddenly everything was wrong, wrong ,WRONG.

"No! **OH JESUS CHRIST**, **NO**!"

He grabbed his head and wailed horribly, his heart torn in two, screaming for what he had lost. The cry was so loud, so terrifying, so heart-rending, that people all over the island heard it. Hamsterviel took a step back, frightened out of his mind. 625 covered his ears, the wail of Nick burrowing deep into his head. Gantu felt terrified as Nick wailed.

Stitch felt numb. Lilo was dead.

Dead...

Nick's scream died away, and he fell to the ground, tears streaming from his face as he fainted. Hamsterviel looked from the Pelekais to Nick, shocked. "Uh...what just happened?" 625 asked.

Lilo opened her eyes. "It worked! It really worked! He fainted!" "Huh?" Gantu blinked stupidly. Lilo jumped down from Jumba's arms and ran to Nick, shaking him. "Nick, wake up! Nick, come on!" Stitch, realizing that it had been a trick, ran over and shook Nick too. "Wakey-wakey!" he said. Hamsterviel blinked a few times and then chuckled. "Of course...a trick, to shock your little friend out of 624's siren song? Quite clever of you Jumba..." "I was always smarter than you." Jumba said defiantly. "WERE. Gantu...grab them."

Gantu walked over and picked up Nick and Lilo. Stitch roared and jumped at him, but suddenly he was pinned down by an orange form...627. "Ha-ha-ha! Gotcha!" 621 was standing a few dozen feet to the left of the Pelekais, and they walked over to Hamsterviel. "We didn't kill them...but it looks like you've caught the three biggest annoyances." 621 said. "We heard your plan through the window, Jumba. Very ingenious. Unfortunately we didn't get here in time to stop you, but it looks like that doesn't matter." suddenly Nani gasped. 561 had wrapped it's tail around her, he was hovering in the air behind her, flapping his wings.

"How clever of you, trying to break the spell of darkness by appealing to the boy's inner light. And it worked, too. Commendable effort...but futile in the end. 626!" 561 looked over at Stitch. "You will go with Hamsterviel or this human dies, very painfully. And then I'll get to work on the one-eyed one while 621 over there kills your creator." "Leave them alone!" Lilo shouted. "They didn't do anything to you!" "You seem to think that matters." said 561 solemnly. "This is my purpose in life, to spread darkness and extinguish even the tiniest speck of light." "Purpose my butt!" Lilo shot back. "You have free will! You should use it, 561! Stitch was bad too, but...but he turned out good." Stitch nodded vigorously. "Ih! Stitch good, and Stitch naga wanna hurt people."

621 shook his head. "Don't bother, brother. 561 is too far gone. The same as 627. The same as I."

Lilo blinked. "Brother?" 621 nodded, an amused smile on his lips. "Yes. We really ARE brothers, you know. We look so much alike, and we have much in. I used to be just like you, 626. And from the moment I saw you I knew we would have a…special…bond. After all, Jumba took my basic design and tweaked it a little to create you. But you are good, while _I_ am evil."

"Naga...Stitch naga think…brother…evil."

"Why?"

Stitch tried to think of how to say it. A moment later he tried to put his thoughts into words anyway as best he could. "Stitch think...that...that brother naga get over Angel. But brother still care 'bout Angel, so brother really good...somewhere..."

621's eyes suddenly glazed over. He started shaking madly. "Foolish." said 561. "You reminded him of something he wants to forget...and yet...something he desperately clings to. Such is the fate of those conflicted with light and dark." "I thought you said he was a being of dark like me!" 627 snarled. 561 smiled slowly. "He is, but...that last bit of light...is always the hardest to snuff out." 627 laughed. "Aw, you really DO care about her, "cuz". Well put those stupid emotions behind you! Come on, 626. Let's go." Stitch looked at 621, who had stormed off to Hamsterviel's side. He turned away from Stitch, fists clenched. "Brother..." Stitch whispered.

Stitch walked over to Hamsterviel, and 627 joined him. 561 flew over as well, and a moment later they were all teleported up to Hamsterveil's ship, and a few moments later, the ship took off into the sky, vanishing in a little twinkle.

**Author's Note:**

Looks pretty bad, huh? That's cuz it IS! Things are NOT looking up, and it's gonna take a real miracle to get Lilo, Stitch and Nick out of the bind they're in! Read and Review, I want to hear your feedback!


	19. Savin' Me, Pt1

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

SAVIN' ME, PT 1.

421 had seen it all.

He had been flying high above the island, letting the beautiful island breeze fill his nostrils, letting the shining sun beat down upon his scales, filling him with a sense of peace. He had looked down at a huge spaceship. He had seen Nick and Stitch. He had seen the dark-hearted ones, and he had seen Lilo dead. He had seen Nick's heart scream with sorrow and rage, a cry that shook him. He'd seen it all.

421 now hovered in the air, flapping lightly as he watched the spot in the sky where Hamsterviel had vanished into space. He growled with fury.

These people...they had taken him into their hearts. They had shown kindness and love. They were his..._ohana_. The evil white one wanted to hurt his _ohana_?

No.

He would not let him.

He would protect them as hard as he could.

He would not allow their light to be extinguished...ever!

He roared to the sky and zoomed higher, higher, following the ship, going faster and faster. His brilliant white aura surrounded him as he entered the reaches of space, and he looked around for Hamsterviel's ship. There it was. Now...to save his family. On that ship, his family was in serious danger...and the only people who could save Lilo and Stitch were either flying through space like 421, or unconscious...

Like Nick.

**Darkness.**

**Everywhere.**

**Where am I?**

**What's going on?**

**Wait...**

**Oh my God...oh my GOD...**

**Lilo...**

**LILO...**

**She's...she's really...**

**...sob.**

**...wait...what's that thing I see?**

**It's...it's her...**

**It's LILO!**

"Lilo?"

"Yep!"

_"**LILO**!"_

Nick suddenly sat up and hugged Lilo tightly, sobbing so hard his chest ached and his throat hurt. "Oh, Lilo...I thought...I thought you were...were...I'm so glad you're okay..."

Lilo, Stitch and Nick were all in a huge cell, with a transparent wall separating them from Gantu and 625, who were playing cards. "Got any tuna?" "I told you, you're NOT making any sandwiches. Give it a rest!" "All right, all right. Fine. Got any 8's?" "Go fish."

Nick looked at Stitch, who was picking his nose with great gusto. "Ew." Nick thought.

"Sorry we made you think I was dead." apologized Lilo. "But Jumba said that the only other way to break Angel's song, besides singing it backward, was to shock you psychologically. REALLY shock you." "I see." Nick said. "But uh...how exactly did you manage to not move or breathe?" "Oh, it's a cool trick I've been practicing. I can hold my breath and not move for five whole minutes! Watch!"

Nick watched as Lilo laid down and didn't move or breathe. She did indeed look quite dead. Five minutes later she got up, and took a deep breath. "Phew! See?" "Niiiice." Nick complimented. "Very nice. You know, I can whistle-oh, I almost forgot!" Nick turned to look at Stitch. "Hey Stitch, uh...um...about trying to uh, kill you and stuff..." Stitch said something quickly in Galactic. "What was that?" "He says forget about it. You're back to normal, and that's what really matters. Unfortunately, we're stuck in Hamsterviel's ship, and we don't know how to escape."

"The answer is you're NOT going to escape." Gantu said stiffly. "Hamsterviel instructed us to guard you until we reach deep space, which should be in about twenty minutes. Right now we're already out of Earth's atmosphere and in space, and Hamsterviel's plotting out a course that'll take him to his new secret base." "Oh, cool. Where is the base?" Nick asked politely. "It's-heeeey...oh no, you're not going to get met to talk. I'm smarter than that." "That may be open for debate." 625 said. Gantu rubbed his eyes. He felt very tired all of a sudden. He looked over at Stitch and Nick. "In any case, when we GET to Dr. Hamsterviel's base, he will clone you two and…dispose of the girl."

Nick drew in a breath. He couldn't lose Lilo and Stitch! No way, no how! And he did NOT wanna get cut in half. All of a sudden, he felt a tremendous desire to spill what he'd been hiding.

"Lilo, Stitch, there's something I gotta tell you." "What?" "I'm...I'm actually 14. Not 10. I just got turned 10 when I came here Kohana Town." "Oh wow." Lilo said. "I'm sorry I kept the secret from you." "It's okay. I keep secrets too." "Ih." "Oh, really? Like what?" "I...I keep a lock of my dad and mother's hair inside a bottle that I stuck under my bed." "Oh..." Nick had almost forgotten, Lilo's parents were gone. "Stitch, what's your secret?"

Stitch looked left, then right, then whispered something to Lilo in Galactic. "Oh, wow! You sent a message to Angel through 625?" 625 suddenly stiffened up. Gantu looked angrily at him. "You allowed the trog in our ship!" "He snuck in, okay? You were asleep. I felt bad for him." "...just don't do it again. Got any queens?" "Go fish."

"Lilo, I should probably tell you a little more about myself." "Like what?" "Well...I know what it's like to have a bit of a messed-up family." "How come?" "My brother hates me something awful, and…well, my parent's divorced in the year 2001." Lilo let out a little gasp of surprise. Stitch looked at Nick, tilting his head slightly. Gantu looked over at Nick, as did 625. "What? Divorce? You humans have _divorces_ here? Barbarians!" "What makes you say that?" "On MY planet, people mate for LIFE." "Heh...well I wish it was that easy here on Earth. Or maybe I don't...I dunno. My mom and dad just...weren't happy, that's all." "Huh?" Stitch and 625 were confused. "What's a "divorce"?" 625 asked. "Oh, well...you see, uh..."

Nick suddenly felt very, VERY warm. "Well uh, when two people who are married realized they don't love each other enough to stay together, or when they realize that their marriage is failing or is hurting their children, first they go to a marriage counselor and then, if that doesn't work, they separate. And after separation divorce usually follows." "Divorce?" "The wife and husband split. They work out who gets the house and the kids and all of that and then that's it. They leave each other be. No more living together, no more kissing the husband as he leaves for work, no more picnics as a family..."

Nick's eyes glazed over in nostalgia. "No more trips to the movies together...no more riding in the same car at an amusement park...no more piggyback rides with my brother...no more Christmases, unwrapping presents while Mom and Dad watch and sip coffee and hug...no more watching my mom and dad kiss when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve...just visiting Dad on the weekends and for dinners on Monday and Thursday, staying at Mom's house the rest of the time, having one accuse the other of manipulation and the other accusing them of abuse..."

Nick buried his face in his hands. "And all the while wondering, in the back of your mind...was it OUR fault? MY fault? If I had been a little less selfish, would they have stayed together? Do I want them to be happy or do I want a family? That's...that's what divorce is...that's what it was for ME, anyway."

Stitch listened quietly, then walked over to Nick and hugged him. "Huh?" Stitch was surprisingly soft and cuddly, reminding Nick of his mother's old teddy bear which she had let him hold during the few times he had gotten scared and had to sleep in his mom and dad's bed during a thunderstorm.

"Meega sota. Still miss family?"

"I miss what I had. I know I can't get it back, and I know I can still have fun and be a part of a family, but...but you still miss what you had, ya know? It's just...a part of being human."

"And that's why you're weak. Your emotions, your foolish ideals of family and togetherness...they only make you weaker. They distract you from what is truly important, and they make you vulnerable."

627 was standing in front of them, grinning cruelly at the boy. 561 and 621 were also there, with 561 looking intently at Lilo and 621 looking at Stitch.

"What do you want?" Lilo asked, feeling incredibly angry with 627's cruel treatment of Nick. "To gloat. Oh, and there's about 10 minutes left before we leave for deep space. We're here to..." "Annoy us, and generally irritate us?" Nick finished. "Monty Python?" 625 asked. "You watch Monty Python?" Nick asked. "Yep!" said 625 proudly. Nick suddenly stood up. "We're knights of the round table, we dance whene're we're able! We do routines and chorus scenes, with footwork im-pec-cable!"

"We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham..."

"And jam!"

"And spam-a-lot!"

Suddenly Nick's watch started playing the Camelot theme music, and Nick danced with Lilo, who giggled with delight while Stitch "played" a horn. 621, 627 and 561 just stood there, gaping. 625 suddenly jumped on the card table and began tap dancing. Gantu blinked stupidly, then tried to look serious...before finally he started laughing so hard he fell over in his chair.

"In war we're tough and able!"

"Quite indefatigable!"

"Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable!" (Who the Billy Shears IS Clark Gable?)

"It's a busy life in Camelot..."

Gantu suddenly spoke.

"I have to push the pram-a-loooooooooooot!"

The music soon ended, and Nick fell over, laughing, with Lilo by his side. Stitch laughed madly before falling over himself, and Gantu slapped his knees, still laughing hard. 625 had fallen off the table, but he was laughing too. 621 chuckled. 627 frowned angrily, and 561 was eerily silent.

"Ahh...it feels so GOOD to laugh like that..." Gantu said, wiping a happy tear from his eye.

"Oh, shaddap!" 627 snapped. "Stupid, idiotic inferior..." the rest was all galactic and all expletives. He turned to point angrily at Gantu. "Hamsterviel should fire you once we get to his secret base on the moon!"

Silence.

Then...

"Stupidhead." Stitch said. "Big dummy." said Lilo, giggling. "Dummy McStupidhead." Nick added, putting his hand in front of his face, thumb on nose, fingers wiggling in the air and tongue out. Gantu grinned wryly at 627, who looked around, suddenly filled with panic. "Uh...I didn't say that! Uh...I was lying! Yeah, I was lying! Honest! Oh...Oh blitznack! Double blitznack!" 621 rolled his eyes.

"Let Lilo go." Nick demanded. "She's innocent." "Aw, you really care about her, don't you?" 621 said. "How touching! But love turns to lust, then disgust...and in the end..." "What, they'll end up like you and Angel?" 627 said, snickering. _"What part of "Shut up!" don't you understand?"_ snarled 621.

Nick sighed sadly. "621, what happened to Angel?" "I...I went to see her...she's not the person I loved. Not anymore. Hamsterviel's conditioning has changed her greatly. She's cruel and evil now, and cares only about herself and Hamsterveil. She...she..." "621 here went to see her to find out if Hammy was treating her right." 625 said, jabbing his thumb at 621. "But the minute he says hello to the little lady, BAM, he's on the floor, and she's on HIM, and he's freaked out. He has to really shove her off and run for it, cuz she's going WILD. She's just...woo!" "The fallen angel has been consumed by lust." 561 said simply. "She is lost." "That's cruel..." Lilo said.

621 suddenly slammed his clawed hands on the glass, looking right into Lilo's eyes. "What, feeling sorry for me? Are YOU feeling sorry for ME! You are just a girl! A dumb, human girl! Don't you DARE pity me! I don't WANT your pity, or the boy's!"

"Too bad." Nick said. Everyone turned to look at him. Nick brushed his hair back and spoke, looking up, as if addressing God as well as those listening in the ship. "As long as there are people in sorrow or in pain...as long as there are people who have lost something they treasured...as long as there are those who have lost their path because of tragedy...I'm gonna feel sorry for them. That's that. If you don't like it...tough. If my Mom and Dad and brother don't like it...tough. If the WORLD doesn't like it...tough. That's who I am, and I'm not gonna change who I am because others think that I should. If I'm gonna change..."

He turned at 621. "It'll be because I SHOULD and WANT to change, not because others say I have to. Got it, 621?"

621 shook his head slowly, chuckling. "I don't know whether to criticize your stupidity or applaud your brave nobility. I just don't understand you." Nick grinned goofily. "To tell the truth...I don't understand me either." "You know you're probably going to die soon." "The thought had crossed my mind, yes." Nick said, smiling broadly. "So why are you so happy?" "Because we'll be rescued." "What makes you think you'll be saved?"

Suddenly there was a loud CRASH, followed by a huge guttural roar. Nick grinned.

"That."

**Author's Note:**

**Huzzah! They're saved! But they still gotta get away from the evil experiment trio, 625 and Gantu, and _then_ they have to make it back to Earth. It's gonna take a lot of work and a whole lot of quick thinking, so can Nick, Lilo and Stitch pull it off with 421's help? And is he EVER gonna get a name? The truth will come soon...**

**Oh, and don't forget to read and review:)**


	20. Savin' Me, Pt2

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

SAVIN' ME, PT. 2

Gantu quickly stood up, grabbing his plasma pistol. "I'll blow the intruder out of the-"

KABLAM!

The door to the prison wing flew off it's hinges, sailed through the air, and struck the 18-foot alien. He was sent flying, and collided hard with the wall, groaning horribly. 625 looked up at a VERY angry experiment 421, who was gonna throw HIM next.

"EVIL!" It shouted.

"I'm outta here." 625 said simply, picking up the cards and running over to a vent, kicking it open and crawling through it, screaming bloody murder. Unfortunately…he got stuck.

"Darn it! Blitznack! Of all the times to be fat! If I get outta this alive, no more mayo for me!"

"And no extra pickles?" Gantu asked.

"Yeah, no extra pickles either!"

"Hey there, 421. What took you so long?" Nick asked. 421 just smiled back. 621 snarled. "You followed us? Why you annoying little..." "I will handle him." 561 said, smiling cruelly and licking his lips. "I shall consume him utterly." "No you WON'T!" Nick screamed. He rushed forward, bashing his hands against the transparent wall...

Which shattered instantly.

Everyone stared at Nick, who looked at his hands. Then he slapped his forehead. "Duuuuh! Super-strength! I can lift stuff 3000 times my size now, 290 tons! I'm a Superman!" "Superman THIS!" 627 snarled, rushing at him.

BAM!

Stitch had jumped up, knocking his cousin down. "Naga touch Nick! Nick achi-baga!" "Yeah, he's our friend...and our _ohana_ too!" said Lilo, standing up proudly. "Let's do this!" Nick said. 421 leapt at 561, and the two rolled around on the floor, cursing and swearing. 621 rushed at Nick. "I'll scratch your eyes out!" he screamed, claws extended and ready to tear.

Nick kicked him away.

"You got mean." Nick thought. "I guess my words didn't help you…"

Nick turned to Lilo and Stitch and said "Let's run." "Good idea." "Ih." And run they did. Right out the door. 627 snarled and ran after them, and 621 picked himself off of the ground, growling angrily. "So they think they can escape? Ha…just they wait!" He looked over at Gantu, who was pulling 625 out of the vent. "Oh, for Pete's sake, you're not pulling right, here, move over. I'LL do it."

Meanwhile, Nick and Lilo ran down a long hallway in the ship, huffing and puffing. "Escape pods, escape pods, where ARE those escape pods?" Lilo said. Suddenly Nick's watch blared to life again, playing an alternative rock song. "Hmm. "Everything is Alright, by…Motion City Soundtrack? Cool name. Everything is alright huh?" "That's kinda…an odd choice for the watch to play." "Maybe naga..." Stitch said, smiling a little. Suddenly 627 roared. He was right behind them.

**BGM: Everything is Alright, by Motion City Soundtrack**

_Tell me that you're alright…  
yeah everything is alright!  
Oh please tell me that you're alriiiight…  
yeah everything is alright! _

Give me a reason…

_to end this discussion!  
To break with tradition…  
to fold and divide! _

Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,  
talking with strangers, waiting in line!  
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still…  
"Are you feeling fine?"  
Yes, I feel just fine!

Nick whipped around, hand glowing purple. "TOXIC BULLET!" he shouted as he jumped back, fingers aimed. The projectile whizzed through the air, nicking 627's cone-like head. 627 snarled and jumped at Stitch…

_  
Tell me that you're alright…  
Yeah everything is alright!  
Oh please tell me that you're alriiiight…  
Yeah everything is alright! _

I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous,  
like cleaning the oven or checking my tires!  
Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling…  
head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!

Who grabbed his cousin, and the two of them went bumping and growling down the hallway, with Nick and Lilo right behind. They rolled through a large pair of double doors that led to a spaceport.

_  
I used to rely on self-medication,  
I guess I still do that from time to time…  
But I'm getting better at fighting the future…  
"Someday you'll be fine.."  
Yes, I'll be just fine! _

Tell me that you're alright…  
Yeah everything is alright!  
Oh please tell me that you're alriiiight…  
Yeah everything is alright!

Stitch finally punched 627 off, and as 627 flew through the air, Nick jumped at him, fist in flames. "SHORYUKEN!" He shouted. BAM! The firey uppercut collided with 627, who flew up into the celing, and with a TWHOMP he stuck. He snarled and spat and tried to pull himself free, but too late! Nick and the others had gotten into a spaceship, (Somebody had left the door unlocked…)and Stitch was starting it up.

_  
Give me a reaasoooon… (I don't believe a word)  
To end this discussiiioooon…(of anything I've heard)  
To break with tradition…(they tell me that it's not so hard)  
To fold and divide! (it's not so hard)  
So let's not get carried (away with everything)  
Away with the process (from here to in-between)  
of elimination (the long goodbye)  
I don't want to waste your time.  
_

_Tell me that you're alright…  
Yeah everything is alright!  
Oh please tell me that you're alriiiight…  
Yeah everything is alright! _

Nick pointed at the exit doors. "We gotta get those ope-" BUDDA-BUDDOW! Lasers tore through them, destroying the doors. Stitch grinned. "Stitch likes to blow things up." Lilo said simply. "I can dig it. Let's get outta here!" "Ih! Wa-ha-haaa!" Stitch cackled as he thrust forward on the throttle, and the spaceship took off.

_  
(Alright)  
Tell me that you're alright! (Hi, everything's great)  
Yeah everything is alright. (Everything's fine)  
Oh please tell me that you're alriiiight, (Hi, everything's great)  
Yeah everything is alright!  
Everything's fine…_

_Everything's fine…_

_Everything's fine…_

_Everything's fine…_

(Music ends.)

A few minutes later, Nick looked back and saw that they were kinda close to the moon. "So Hamsterviel's hanging on the moon, huh?" "Hey Stitch, we'd better call everyone down on Earth up. Um…Stitch?" "Huh?" Stitch said. "How do you work the communication system?" Stitch looked down. "Hmm…"

TEN MINUTES LATER… 

"Wow. Disco lights." "Shag rugging!" "The hula dancer air freshener was a nice touch, Stitch." Stitch blushed a little. "You should go on "Pimp My Ride"." Nick said admiringly. The spaceship had indeed been "pimped up" from the inside. "It looks A-W-E-S-O-M-E." Lilo said. Nick looked over at her. "Hey…you…you like Reel Big Fish?" "Yep! I got a Vinyl split record at home. They do "Take On Me". Wanna listen to it?" "I'd LOVE to! I love Reel Big Fish!" "Great!" "Don't you mean Awesome?" Stitch smiled.

Meanwhile, back on Hamsterviel's ship…

Gantu and 625 were alone. Facing each other, sitting at the poker table. Gantu sighed. "I've had enough, 625." "Enough? Whaddya mean?" "I'm done with it. With Hamsterviel, with going after trogs, with…with EVERYTHING related to experiments. I'm going home. I'm going to take an escape pod and go back to Earth, then I'm going to take my ship, and go home…after I've stopped by the earth girl's house to pay 626 a little "visit"." 625 whistled. "An escape, a drive-by and an exodus?" "It's not going to be a drive-by!" Gantu protested. "But wait…what…what about me?" 625 asked. "I'm afraid you can't come…my…my people won't like an illegal genetic experiment. I'm sorry."

625 was silent at first. Then he sighed and got up from his seat, heading towards the door. "Where are you going?" Gantu asked.

"To find MY one true place." 625 said, and the door closed. Gantu buried his face in his hands. He'd driven away his only friend. "It was for the best…" Gantu said quietly. "It was for the best…"

But he knew better.


	21. It Never Ends, Does It?

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

IT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT?

Hugging, kissing, "don't ever do that again"ing…Nick, Lilo and Stitch heard it all when they arrived back at home. But that was important. They were home. They were safe. They were alive. That was something. It may not have been much to some, but to the Pelekai _ohana_, it meant a lot.

And now it was a brand new day. The day after the horror. Nick and everyone could relax. Nick jumped out of bed with one thought on his mind. In fact, both he, Stitch and Lilo jumped out at the same time, and each of them immediately shouted…

"IT'S SATURDAAAAY!"

_Shiny happy People laughing…_

_Meet me in the crowd…_

_People…people!_

_Throw your love arouuund!  
_

_Love me…love me!_

_Take it into town…_

_Haaappy! Haaappy!  
_

_Put it in the ground where the flooooweeers grooow…_

_Gold and silver shiiiiiiiiii-ay-ines!  
_

Everyone seemed to have fallen ill…to the contiguous fever of HAPPINESS! Jumba was beaming, and was actually NOT chewing with his mouth open at breakfast! Pleakley had made chocolate chip pancakes, and Nani had made guava juice.

"I'm telling you all, any day now they're gonna come, so that's why I'm gonna give you the lowdown on how to survive when they start shootin' stuff up! You gotta be prepared!...for starters, you gotta listen to music and get a tune in your head. That REALLY gets 'em mad. Here, lemme play you my personal favorite, folks, and keep watchin' the skies, brothers and sisters!"

421's light aura was just dazzling, as he danced in the kitchen to the Beach Boys tune, which was playing on the radio. Stitch, Nick and Lilo were singing to it, as was David, who had stopped by for breakfast.

"What can I say? Nani makes some choice guava juice." He had said. Stitch had his mouth full, but everyone knew that was no hindrance to his singing talents.

"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long! And wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong?" "You know it's gonna make it that much better…" Stitch finished it up, though nobody could really tell what he was saying. Jumba had decided to sing a bit too.

"Oh, wouldn't it be nice…" "It would be nice if you remembered to shower more." Pleakley said. "Oh, I KNEW I forgot something." Jumba immediately bolted up from the table, and ran upstairs, but not before shouting out "Very enjoyable cocoa bean and flour patty mixtures, Pleakley!" "Just call them chocolate chip pancakes!" Nani shouted. They could hear Jumba singing from upstairs. Stitch suddenly got an idea, and hopped off, with Lilo right behind. Nick saw what he was doing.

For the next four weeks, the answering machine would have the following message: "Hello, you've reached the Pelekai's." "Ih. Leave message." "But first, here's my uncle with a message of his own." "I am just love machine, and I am not working for anyone but yoooouuuu…oh baby, baby! I am just love machine…"

Nick laughed. "It should be a really good day." He said. And it was! It was action-packed. Lilo decided to teach Nick how to surf in the morning, but it was tiring work. Nick kept shifting his weight wrong and falling off the board. But by midday, he had finally, SORTA, gotten the hang of-SPLASH!

Oh well.

"We'll work on it more tomorrow." Lilo said to a pouting Nick. The next activity was the annual "check on the experiments" routine. Although many were in Hamsterviel's stinking paws, a whole lot more were left. Mostly harmless experiments too, and they all were happy. Next on the list of things to do on a Saturday was…

"You ever done this before?" Nick asked Lilo. "Not on this one." "Me neither. WOOHOO!" All three of them were diving off a waterfall into a huge lake below, screaming as they fell. "THIS IS AWESOOOOME!" Lilo shouted. "NO KIDDING!" Nick shouted back. "WAAA-HAA-HAA-HOOO!" hollered Stitch.

Then, at the end of the day, came the luau with David, who decided to include Nick in the luau torch dance along with Splodyhead, who lit the torches. "Just follow what I do." David said. He twirled the torch. Nick did the same. A double twirl, for both torches. Nick followed. Twirling, twirling, oh, now a jump, but keep twirling! Nick pulled it off…and then jumped up, striking a pose and grinning. David chuckled.

"Try this!" He said. He got on his back and twirled the torches around his legs, jumping up, going around and around in a circle before jumping in the air and landing with his legs split. "Ha!"

Nick decided to try another tactic. He began to spin faster and faster in a circle, becoming a flaming tornado. Then he threw the torches in the air, and then stood on his head, shaking at first, but then, a moment later…

WOOMP!

He grabbed the luau torches before they hit the ground…while still on his head! He grinned, then tossed them into the air and got back up, catching them again. Pretty soon he and David were doing all sorts of stunts, and the crowd went wild.

_I…wanna soak up the sun…_

_Gonna tell everyooone to liiiighten uuuuup…_

And so the day had ended. Wiped out, Nick flopped onto the couch, the stars twinkling in the sky at 10:00 at night. It had been such a wonderful day…

He lay down to sleep, and conked out instantly. Everyone was soon asleep.

421 was kicking something in his sleep, mumbling. Stitch's nose whistled. Nani snored. Pleakley's mouth opened and closed over and over, and Jumba…

Well…

_Rupert, fiddle next to him, was sitting with Jumba outside, looking up at the moon. "You are indeed very good at playing fiddles." Jumba said. "Why did you not try to go into musical career, instead of evil genius organization?" "Well, you know what they say. The family that stays together, rules together…at least that's what my grandma says." "But you have said she is nut." "Yeah. I guess I'm just in it so I can talk with you, Jumba." _

"_Why not be playing tune?" "Okay. Let's see…I know! Ohhh…Lukey's boat is painted green-haaa, me boys! Lukey's boat is painted green, it's the prettiest boat you've ever seen, ah-ha, me boys a riddle-ay-day!" _

"Ah ha, me boys, a riddle-ay-daaay…" Jumba whispered, yawning slightly.

But Nick was having a strange dream…

_I don't know who this guy is. Who is he? Brown hair…kinda nice-looking guy too. Stylish hair, red and white vest, and…wait…red and white vest…brown hair…_

_No way…my favorite superhero!_

_Wait…he's saying something to someone…_

"_I know that it's time. I can't stay anymore. I've…God, I've been so happy here…and seeing everyone here just…just…"_

"_We'll all miss you, Mr. Keene."_

_  
"Sara, don't stand on ceremony." _

"I know…Kev."

_  
"Heh. Sara, tell me…what's going to happen?"_

"_You'll come back. But you won't be in the same role you were before. In a few years or so, you'll return as…"_

_  
_NICK!

The omnipotent voice was speaking.

NICK! GANTU HAS SNUCK INTO THE HOUSE. HE'S AFTER STITCH.

"Oh man. I'd better stop him…"

IT GETS WORSE, CHOSEN ONE. HAMSTERVIEL IS INVADING IN FIFTEEN MINUTES. YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR FORTY FIVE MINUTES. AT 11:00 HAMSTERVIEL AND HIS ARMY OF EVIL EXPERIMENTS INVADE KAUAI. YOU'VE GOT TO WAKE UP. WAKE UP NOW!

"Okay, okay! I'm up, I'm UP, I'm UP!"

Nick jumped up. "I'M UP!" Gantu, who had been sneaking quite stealthily through the living room, groaned. "Not you…" Everyone else had been woken up by Nick's shout. They ran down into the living room. "Ah-ha! Good thing Nick caught you, you annoying fish-man." Jumba said. He had…red…train…pajamas.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!" Nick laughed over and over and didn't stop until he slapped his own face. "Get a grip, Nick! Gotta tell them." Nick took a deep breath and then spoke. "Remember how I mentioned an omnipotent voice before? It just spoke again. The wascally wabbit's gonna invade Kauai at 11 PM, which is in…" Nick looked at the clock. "Ten minutes. He'll have his entire evil army ready." Jumba gasped, and rubbed his head. "Ohh…am having big aching in head…need…what is term? Aspirin! Where is aspirin?" Gantu suddenly stiffened. "Ten minu…oh blitznack!" He suddenly ran out the door, running down the driveway at top speed. Pleakley scratched his head. "I wonder what _he's_ up to."

**9 MINUTES LATER…**

"I don't think I've EVER gotten dressed this fast…" "You forgot to tie your shoelaces, Nani." "Oh. Hold on." "Everybody ready?" "Yes." "You bet." "Let's kick that stupid rat's butt!" "Bad mousey!" Nick grinned and slammed his baseball bat into his hand. "All right. Time to kick some butt."

Everyone had rapidly gotten dressed and had rushed over to the town with all the weapons they had. Stitch had a plasma gun in each hand, Jumba had a plasma rifle, Pleakley was clutching a broom, Nani had a mop and Lilo had a stick. Nick had picked up a "Louisville Slugger" baseball bat from the yard.

He pointed at the sky. A dark shape was coming towards town as the stars twinkled slowly. "Here he comes." Indeed. Hamsterviel's ship had arrived. "Hey, he got rid of the water bottle jet." Lilo said. "Nice black and red paintjob." "Still had to draw an H on the front though…" Nani said, rolling her eyes. "People, focus!" Jumba said. "Is big battle coming our way. Wait…am thinking…we might be needing other little girl for help. Little boy, could you find Victoria?" "Right." Nick said. "I'll go get her." Nick took off, yelling "I'll be right back!" over his shoulder. Then Hamsterviel's voice suddenly blared through the night, as his ship's speakers crackled to life and experiments were teleported down into the town.

"ATTENTION ISLAND OF KAUAI…I, THE GREAT JACQUES VON HAMSTERVIEL NOW CONTROL YOU! HA-HA-HA! I WIN! I WIN! I WIIIIN! WITH MY INVINCIBLE EXPERIMENT ARMY, NOBODY CAN STOP ME, ESPECIALLY NOT THAT STUPID 626 AND HIS FRIENDS! SO GIVE UP QUIETLY, FOR THERE IS NO ESCAPE! I HAVE THE LAST LAUGH! HA-HA-HA! See? That was the last laugh! Right? Course I'm right. Serves YOU right, Rahry. Told you I could be a good supervillain."

Jumba's eyes widened. "Rahry-that stupid idiot! If it wasn't for him then..." "Who's Rahry?" "Am telling you later. Experiments are coming towards us." The experiments surged toward them, growling and snarling, some rushing for the shops in town. "It never ends, does it?" Pleakley muttered. "Nope. The good guys work is never done." Lilo said. "Ih." Stitch said.

On the radio…

"Hey, remember when I told y'all to prepare for that alien invasion? Well guess what?"

"What, man?"

"THEY'RE **HERE**! RUN! RUNNNNN!"

"Dude, major uncool, invading this time of night, man. Like…AAAAA!"

Meanwhile, Nick had rushed over to Victoria's house, and was just turning onto it's street when he saw a sight that horrified him. "Oh no…oh no…" Flames everywhere on Victoria's house. Screaming inside. "VICTORIA! I'M COMING!" Nick shouted, running inside, bursting through the burning door, and into the living room, which was like the inside of a boiler. "AQUA KICK! AQUA KICK! AQUA KICK!" Living room was done. Nick heard coughing from upstairs and followed the trail of smoke to a room. He looked at the doorknob, and reached for it…

Then he stopped. He remembered seeing an episode of CSI where a fire had broken out in a house. A man had done what he was about to do. His hand had been burned. Badly.

So what.

Nick grabbed the doorknob, and, ignoring the burning heat, wrenched the door open. Victoria was on her parent's bed with her mom and dad, and all were in their pajamas, with flames burning up from a wall. Nick ran over to it, using an Aqua Kick to stop the flames. He turned quickly to the red-headed girl and her frightened parents. "Victoria! You and your parents are safe now! Come on, get outta the house!" Victoria nodded slowly, and she and her parents ran out the door, down the stairs and out of the living room door, to the outside. Nick nodded, glad that they were safe. "Now to save their house." He thought, running out of the room and to the next burning room…Victoria's bedroom. Luckily there was only a small fire there, and it was on her celing fan.

So Nick went from room to room, putting out the flames. Eventually he was totally tuckered out…but the flames were all gone. He walked out of the door and collapsed on the grass. Victoria ran up to him and hugged him, lifting him up to do so. "Nick, you saved us!" "Th…thanks." Nick said. "I think I have to lie down now…" He said, collapsing all over again. Victoria and her parents decided to go to a neighbor's house, to call 911. The minute they left, Nick felt someone poke him. He opened his eyes.

Looking right at him was Experiment 625. With a plasma pistol. Nick slowly got up, looking down at the yellow experiment, who stared intently at him. "Listen up, kid. And listen good, or I shoot." "You're not gonna really shoot me, 625…" Nick said, taking a step forward.

BANG!

A plasma blast just inches from his shoe proved him wrong. Nick gulped. "What do you want?" He asked. "Kid, you have a chance to save Angel, and thus, save the experiments that are tearing the town and your _ohana_ apart." "How?" Nick immediately asked. "Experiment 421 and I have a plan. He's gonna fly us up to Hammy's ship, and we'll sneak into Angel's room with his help. Then we'll set her free from the stupid rodent's control, and then she'll free the OTHER experiments from his control." "How?" "Jumba said that Angel's song could be reversed by a strong psychological shock. So I got a shock planned. A real good shock…but do you trust me?" He held out his hand.

Nick immediately took it. "You bet. Let's go find 421."

Back at the battle, Stitch was having a tough time keeping his cousins under control. Several of them had gotten into a parked bus, and were now tearing it apart. Stitch walked up to it, cracking his knuckles. "Feeboogoo!" He said. One of the cousins, Richter, stuck his tongue out, and made a very nasty comment about Stitch, necrophilia, and the Grand Councilwoman.

Stitch responded by picking up the bus and slamming it into the ground, over and over. The dizzy experiments teetered out, groaning and moaning, falling on the ground. Stitch clapped fake dirt off his hands and grinned. Lilo was currently trying to hold her own against Plasmoid, a green, scorpion-like experiment who could shoot lasers from his pincer-less tail. He kept shooting them left and right at Lilo, who kept running to the side…but always getting closer and closer. Finally she got close enough, and…WHACK!

The stick broke on Plasmoid. He grinned nastily.

"Uh…oops?" Lilo said, holding the two broken halves behind her back and smiling apologetically.

Plasmoid raised his tail…


	22. Family Means Nobody Gets Left Behind

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND

**THWUMP**.

Suddenly Plasmoid had his own problems. Jumba had SAT on him. "Cannot believe I was not thinking of this before." Jumba said. "Is easy way of beating rouge experiments. Heh-heh-hEEYYOOOOOWWWW!" He suddenly went sailing into the air, a laser to the butt changing his mind. He landed in about two dozen yards away in a mailbox, where he got stuck. "Uh oh." He said. Several experiments began to approach the mailbox. "Hey look…a whatchamacallit…a piñata! Yeah, a piñata!" "Let's break it then!" "Double uh oh."

Pleakley had trouble too. He and Nani were currently fending off Thresher, who had six strong, pummeling arms that could beat you to a pulp. They couldn't do anything but block, and soon even THAT wouldn't be an option, because Pleakley's broom was almost broken, and Nani's mop was in bad shape. One good strike later, both were broken. "Run." Nani suggested. And run they did, right up a tree. Thresher started banging on it to knock them down. "Nick, hurry! Go, go go! Save us allll!" Pleakley wailed.

Lilo looked at Pleakley and Nani and gasped. "Hold on guys!" she said, running towards them. "I'm com-" "And where do you think you are going? To help them?" 561 suddenly flew down in front of her, looking right into her eyes. "You cannot even help yourself." Lilo gasped as he rushed at her…but then she slammed her sticks into his stomach and he fell to the ground with an "oomph". She took off running, headed for the jungle and for Gantu's ship. He had weapons on it! Maybe…if she could make it…

She made it to the river. Then 561 lunged and pulled her down from behind. "Stop struggling, and I'll kill you quickly." He said politely. Lilo kicked him and got up, running towards the river. On the opposite side was Gantu's ship, and help…

But she didn't reach the river again. 561 suddenly jumped in front of her, grabbing her and pulling her close. "You will not escape." He said. It wasn't a threat. It was a factual statement. There was no way she could escape.

"I am destined to consume all things light…and you are filled with light energy." "What do you mean? All you do is talk about light and dark energy! What's so special about them?" "All beings contain some light and some dark energy within them. You are filled to the brim with light…there is barely a trace of darkness within you. I imagine that your little friend Stitch used to be a being of great dark…but, ah…" He stroked her hair. "Your kind, gentle nature turned him to the side of light. Amazing, really. You are quite beautiful too…"

He licked her ear, and she shivered. "I'll enjoy what I'm about to do to you. Don't struggle. You'll only suffer more." "You said you've gotta lot of that dark stuff in you…" Lilo said, her voice filled with a mix of fear and curiosity. "Does that mean you're really, really evil?" "I know that I am evil. That is fact." "If you're willing to admit that, then maybe…" "What?" "If you're admitting you're got some bad in you, than maybe you're not ALL bad…"

561 shook his head slowly, putting a claw on Lilo's lip. "Shhhh." He whispered. "No, little one. That was a simple observation of the mind. I am too filled with darkness to EVER be touched by the light. Unfortunately for you and your little family, the light can ALWAYS be made a part of darkness…as you are about to find out." He leaned closer, and Lilo fell onto the ground. He pinned her to the ground with his clawed hands and taloned feet, looking down into her tear-filled eyes.

"Now then…it's time I had a little fun. Maybe once I'm done, I'll eat you. I haven't tasted human meat yet…" "Don't…please…" Lilo begged. 561 leaned down, coming closer to her. "Relax…it won't hurt. At least, it won't hurt _me_. And who knows?" His face was right up to hers. He licked his lips, he was almost an inch away from her face and her body. "You may…heh-heh…_enjoy_ this…" He reached over her chest with a claw, ripping at the center of her muumuu, pulling it open, pulling it OFF…

"**Abomination**!"

THWUMPAH! 561 soared into the air, hit a palm tree with a nasty crack, and then fell to the ground, unconscious. Gantu spat on the ground. "Filthy trog!" He snarled. Lilo looked up at Gantu, standing up slowly. "Th…thanks." she said slowly. "Do not misunderstand me, little girl. I don't have any love of you or YOUR trog…but trying to rape a CHILD…" He looked over at 561 with incredible disgust. "I could NOT allow that to happen. And I have had enough with that stupid white rat who calls himself a genius." Lilo almost said "Karl Rove?", which would have gotten a laugh from Nick, but instead said "You mean the wascally wabbit?" Gantu chuckled. "Yes, the "wascally wabbit", as your friend put it." "Well, we really could use some help in town." Gantu twirled his plasma pistols. Yes, he now had TWO. "Well then…I'll just go break this baby in." he said, looking at his left-handed pistol, and then running off towards town.

Lilo almost ran after him, but instead walked over to 561, who was unconscious.

"You don't HAVE to be bad." She said softly. "We'd take you in, and I would teach you to be good. You could be a part of our _ohana_…if you wanted to." Then she ran off, to help her family.

561 lay still for what seemed to be a long time, mouth open, all sprawled out.

Then his mouth formed into a small smile…

Back to Nick and 625!

"This plan had better work!" 625 said to 421, who gave him a thumbs up. Nick and 625 were riding on top of his back, up to Hamsterviel's ship, while the mad doctor was preoccupied with something else. Nick saw that "something else" when they got close enough to his room window…

Nick peeked in and listened. It was the wascally wabbit, looking at a picture on the wall which was fairly big.

There he was with Jumba, butts waving in the air in what was apparently a grade-school class portrait. Everyone else was distracted and pretty much bursting into laughter about the two jokers. One face however, was missing, darkened by a smudge of something and keeping it from being seen, especially from a window. The two supposedly evil geniuses weren't evil geniuses. They were just kids, having a laugh.

Looking in through the window and at the picture, it was hard to believe that the smiling, giddy face who's furry white butt was waving in the air was had become a madman bent on total domination of Hawaii and the galaxy.

"Next window." Nick said.

Well, the next window was big. It was nice. It was tinted.

Five seconds later it was shattered. Nick and 625 jumped in. "We'll take it from here." Nick said to 421, giving him a thumbs up. "You'd better go help them down in town." 421 nodded and turned to leave. "Oh wait!" Nick said. 421 turned around to face Nick again. "When I get back down to see you…I'm gonna name you. Would you like that?" Nick asked. 421 beamed and nodded vigorously. 625 chuckled. "Got a name in mind, kid?" "Yep…but we gotta go save Angel. Come on!"

Meanwhile, down on the ground…

"AAAAA!" Pleakley ran like heck as Hocker shot gobs of acidic spit at him. Nani ran around, whacking Sleepy over the head. Jumba was trapped in an alley. Every time he stuck his head or plasma rifle out, Holio tried to suck him in. And Lilo and Gantu? Well…Lilo had been given a plasma gun, and successfully downed…a tree branch, an ice cream cone…

"Not AGAIN! Why can't I get a break!" the tourist then ran for his life.

A mailbox, and a pet store window. Gantu hadn't even gotten three shots off before 627 had shown up, and had proceeded to whack Gantu around like a punching bag. In fact…

THWUMPA-THWUMPA-TWHUMPA! Gantu had actually been stuck INTO the ground, and was now REALLY being whacked around like a punching bag. "Boy, this is a great stress reliever!" 627 said. "RAAAARRRR!" Stitch howled and jumped on his cousin, and the two went tumbling around, yelling and growling angrily. Lilo looked around and saw that the experiments were advancing, pressing her and her _ohana_ into a smaller, more easy-to-crush-all-at-once group. "This is bad…" she thought. "Hurry, Nick…"

Nick looked around. The hallway led two ways…both to double doors. He looked down at 625. "You take that way. I'll take this way." Both ran off, and Nick looked into his door. Interesting. A huge computer room. Nick walked up to the nearest one and pressed a few buttons. Nothing. It was off.

"Aw, man. So much for that ide-huh?" There was a little, beaten-up, old notepad on a desk nearby. Nick walked over and read it. There, at the beginning of that little, old notepad, was a little sticker that looked like the kind given out in first or second grade at elementary schools or kindergarten. "Rupert is our Star Student today!"

Rupert? Nick thought. Who the?…

Did…Hamsterviel have a brother?

"Nick!" 625 yelled. Nick ran back to 625, who was standing at the doorway. "What?" "She's in there." Nick looked inside. Yep. She was in there. Sitting on a couch, sipping some soda. Nick rolled his eyes. "She's **enjoying** this. Let's hurry up and save her before I get sick." "Agreed." 625 said. "You said you had a plan?" "Uh huh. Watch." 625 held up a little key. "Hammy left his spare underneath the doormat." He opened up the door and ran inside. Angel looked up, puzzled. "Hey Angel." "Hi!"

Silence. Then…

"Wait…you're not…I mean…how come you're not all evil?" "Oh, you didn't REALLY think that the dumb rat could keep ME brainwashed, did you?" "Then why'd you turn Nick evil?" "All part of my plan." "…okay, moving right along…"

Nick, however, didn't understand a word 625 and Angel were saying, since it was all in Galactic, but he had the vague suspicion that he had been played like a card by Angel. She wasn't acting the least bit weird or freaky-deeky! Mental note, he thought. When we get back, have nice, long talk with Angel about not manipulating little boys!

Then Nick heard footsteps. "Uh oh. The dumb bunny's coming." Nick ran inside. "625, listen, I got a plan. Translate it to Angel." Nick whispered a plan to 625, whose eyes widened. He turned to Angel. "Angel, Nick's got a plan. He's sure it'll work, he saw…it…in a video game, Nick this is NOT gonna work!" "Yes it will! We don't have time for anything else!"

Hamsterviel hummed "Stayin' Alive" as he strutted down the hallway. He had decided that he wanted to check on his "captive angel", since he needed a perk-up. After seeing that Gantu had joined up with the stupid girl and her friends, he'd gone into a long tirade over the ship's speakers, and EVERYONE had had to shut up and listen to him, 627 and all the evil experiments included. As Rahry had told him, "When you make people listen to you, the galaxy is yours if you'll let it be yours." Everyone had ALWAYS doubted him, Rahry included. "You'll never be a good supervillain, Bunny von Gerbilviel, not until you learn to take it more seriously. Now watch THIS. I've got to make sure the psyche transfer works…"

Well, Rahry had failed, hadn't he, and Bunny von Gerbilviel, Mr. "Never Be A Supervillain" was no more! In his place was Mr. "Ruler of Kauai, and soon the Earth!".

But then, as the musing villain approached Angel's holding area, he heard groans and cries of pain.

Uh oh.

He ran down the hallway even faster and up to the doors which he had so carefully locked. 625 was there, looking very grave, and Angel was tossing and turning on the floor inside of her cell. "What's going on?" The evil madman asked 625. "Bellybutton pain, sir." 625 said solemnly. "Intense, biting, bellybutton pain." "Bellybutton pain?" Hamsterviel blinked slowly, then muttered something under his breath as he opened the door up and walked inside.

"All right, what's going-"

POW!

He was out like a light. Angel grinned and walked over to 625, and Nick jumped up from behind the couch. "Ha! It worked!" 625 stuck his tongue out at the unconscious form of Hamsterviel. "Idiot. Angel doesn't HAVE a belly button!" "We'd better get going." Nick said. "Our _ohana_ needs us."

Back outside…

"Little girls, big girl, 626, even noodle man…why, even fishy man…has been nice knowing you." "We are SO gonna diiiiie!" Pleakley wailed. They were all up against a wall, with Stitch knocked to the ground by a good punch from 627, who was slowly advancing, leading the rest of the experiments towards them.

"It's all over now!" 627 crowed.

Jumba gulped. "Wish I had charged plasma rifle more…"

"Victoria, I want you to know you've been a great best friend."

"Lilo, you're the best friend I've ever had."

"Nani…"

"You don't need to say it, Lilo." Nani said, tears falling from her eyes. She knelt down and embraced her sister. "I know. I know."

421 let a tear fall from his eye as he embraced Jumba's leg. "Daddy…I'm scared."

"I know." Jumba said, petting his child on the head, face defiant.

627 spat at them and grinned sadistically. "Stupid emotional displays like THAT are why you humans are weak!" "You're wrong. It makes us strong." Lilo said, eyes defiantly blazing. 627 laughed wildly. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Stupid humans! We've WON! You lost! Just accept it! I want to see the despair on your faces when-"

"HELLOOOOO, KAUAI! YOU READY TO GET SAVED? HOLLA!"

Everyone looked up at Hamsterviel's ship. Jumba's eyes widened. "What? He…he did it! The boy has done it! Ha-ha-ha!" "NO! NO-NO-NO!" 627 bounded up and down. "NO! I was so close! Not now!"

"AND NOW, HERE'S _ANGEL_, WITH HER SMASH HIT SINGLE! TAKE IT AWAY…ANGEL!" Stitch grinned happily, and jumped into the air, waving his arms. "Boojibu! My boojibu!"

Angel sang her beautiful song backwards...

"_Haturdrat amurtee...alanot agan...hatoom on hataged...ortunoohc atoocha!_"

...And the experiments that had been advancing on Lilo and her _ohana_ stopped, looking around, a bit puzzled. Stitch ran over and hugged the nearest one, which happened to be Sparky. "Cousin!" he said happily. On the spaceship, Nick smiled. "Well…we did it! Oh, almost forgot. 625, can you take the wheel? I gotta take care of something down there on the ground." "Sure." Nick walked to the airlock door on the spaceship, opening it up. He turned around and looked at 625, giving him a two-fingered salute. "And uh…don't pull the red lever." Nick added.

That got a smile.

627, down on the ground, was snarling with anger.

"I can still destroy you! I'm more than a match for all of you, even all of you working TOGETHER!" "I saw this in a movie once!" Nick shouted out. 627 looked up.

"SNOOTCH TO THE DUUUUUUUUUDE!" Nick yelled as he fell down, down, towards 627.

"What the?" was all the evil experiment could get out. Then…**THAWHUMPA!**

Nick stood up and walked off of the extremely flattened and buried-in-the-pavement 627, who groaned before he fell unconscious. "That's the way you do it!" He said proudly. "One Experiment 627, now compact, and able to fit in most overhead storage bins!" Lilo giggled. Victoria jumped up and down, cheering. Nani sighed happily, Pleakley jumped up and down in giddiness with Victoria, and Jumba walked over to Nick, kneeling down and putting his huge hand on Nick's shoulder.

"Thank you. You have done wonderfully." "No biggie." "I am owing you apology…for uh…for not trusting you earlier." "No biggie, really. Hey Stitch, you wanna see Angel, right?" "Oh! Ih, ih!" "Well don't worry. I got a communicator in my pocket that 625 loaned me." Nick pulled it out. "625? Angel? Can you guys land now? Stitch really wants to see Angel." "Angel says the feelin's mutual. Hold on while I find a parking space."

Nick nodded and closed the communicator. "Well, while he's doing that, let me tell you how 625, 421 and I tricked Hamsterviel and got Angel to sing." Gantu sat down next to Lilo. "Um…can I sit here?" "Sure." She said immediately. He smiled. Nick started the story. "See, it started back when I was pooped out on the grass outside Victoria's house, and then 625 showed up…" 421 nodded, eager to hear a story. Nick patted his head, then remembered. "Oh! 421, I promised to name you, didn't I?" "Yeah, we should give him a name." Lilo said. "Hmm…" Stitch thought. "What would be a good name?"

"Rise?" Lilo suggested. "Nah, but a good idea." "Hmm…Draggy?" Stitch suggested. "Uh, no." Lilo said. Suddenly Nick snapped his fingers. "I know! How about Heartwing?" Lilo thought about it. "Heartwing? I like it! Cuz he's got a heart on his chest and his wings are cool." "And he has a lot of heart, too." Nick said, giving Heartwing a big belly rub. Jumba chuckled. "Heartwing it is. Now uh…what happened next after 625 show-ed up?" Nick nodded, took a deep breath, and continued the story.

"Wellll…625 said that he and Heartwing had a plan…"

TWO DAYS LATER...

Nick looked up at the sky, as a beautiful sun beamed down on the island, giving the island it's morning glow. A light breeze blew, and there were barely any clouds in the sky. In short…

"Perfect weather…to go see Lilo's hula practice! I'll show up early and surprise her." Being careful not to WAKE the sleeping lumps that were Lilo and Stitch, Nick jumped out of his bed and ran for his clothes. Putting on his blue Hawaiian button-down shirt and white shorts, he then put his sneakers on, doing a hastily-made double knot before running out the door and sneaking down the stairs…

Lilo looked at Victoria. "Ready?" "Ready as I'll ever be. You ready?" "You bet. Let's rock-a-hula!"

Myrtle and her posse, along with Victoria and Lilo, got into their line. The drummers began to beat. The older women at the practice took up their positions. Moses nodded. It was time.

_Mahalo nui ia Ke Alii wahine…  
O Liliulani O ka Wo hi ku…  
Ka pipio mai o ke anuenue Na waiho'o-  
lu'u a halikeole'e…  
E nana na maka i ke ao malama mai  
Hawaii akea i KauaI!_

Nick zoomed his way through the street, waving at Mrs. Hasagawa. "Hi, Nick!" She yelled, not noticing that the hose she had been holding was now drenching a customer, who yelled and jumped in the air.

_ke Kuini o Hawaii.  
ku i ka moku i ke Kalaunu.  
Na hana a ke aloha Maalo!  
Ana i ka ua lana malie.  
I ka lani malama Hoike.  
mai ana la I ka nani!  
_

Nick waved hi at Gantu, who was heading towards the beach, surfboard in hand. The big lug waved back and smiled, then put his sunglasses back on and yelled out "COWABUNGA!" as he rushed towards the water.

_O Kalakaua he inoa O Ka pua maeole i ka la,  
Ka pua maila i ka mauna,  
I ke kuahiwi o Mauna Keä Ke 'amaila i Kilaueam!  
Malamalama i Wahine kapu,  
A ka luna o Uweka huna,  
I ka pali kapu o Kaauea!  
Ea mai ke alii kia manu,  
Ua wehi ka hulu o kamamo,  
Ka pua nani ao Hawaii O- Kalakaua he inoa!  
_

Nick was going so fast that Myrtle and her posse had to dive to the side, and Myrtle stuck her tongue out at Nick, who hollered out "Sorrryyyy!" at her.

_O Kalakaua he inoa O Ka pua maeole i ka la,  
Ka pua maila i ka mauna I ke kuahiwi o Mauna Kea!  
Kea mai la i Kilauea,  
Malamalama i Wahinekapu,  
A ka luna o Uwekahuna  
I ka pali kapu o Kaauea!  
Mahalo nui ia Ke Alii wahine!  
(ke Kuini o Hawaii)  
O Liliulani Wo ka O hi ku!  
(ku i ka moku i ke Kalaunu)  
Ea mai ke alii kia manu Ua wehi i ka hulu o ka mamo,  
Ka pua nani ao HawaiI,  
O Kalakaua he inoa!_

Nick finally made it to the hula school, and he opened the door

_He Inoa No Kalani Kalakaua Kulele!_

Everyone turned to look at Nick. There was nobody left except for Lilo, Stitch, Nani, Victoria, Jumba, Pleakley and Heartwing.

"What the? I thought I was up early…the clock said-" Lilo rubbed the back of her neck, and Stitch turned bright red. "Uh…Stitch kinda broke it." Nick blinked slowly, taking it all in. "Oh…aw, dang! I missed your rehearsal!" "It's okay." Lilo said. "No it's not, I wanted to surprise you…" "You did!" Lilo said happily. Nani nodded. "We're just glad you showed up in time." "In time for what?" "Wanna go to the carnival?" Victoria asked. "We've been planning to take you since you uh, you know, saved everyone and all. 625 and Angel are waiting for us." "Really? I'd…I'd LOVE to go! I love carnivals!" "Last one there's a rotten egg!"

Lilo and Stitch, with Victoria and Heartwing right behind, ran past Nick and towards the carnival grounds. "Don't forget your tickets!" Nani said, holding them up as she ran after them. Jumba rubbed his chin. "Hmm…festive merry-makings of Earth variety means sticky goodness that is cotton candy! Counting me in!" He ran after Nani. Pleakley clapped his hands together and sighed happily. "And I just LOVE those game booths! Wait for me!" Nick watched them all run towards the fairgrounds and he looked up at the sky, as the sun beamed down…with his own beaming face matching the sun's.

"Yeah…yeah, I think I'm gonna learn to like it here."

And so began a new, and hopefully brighter, chapter in the adventures of Nick, Lilo and Stitch…

**Author's Note:**

**So ends Season One and the first part of _Lilo and Stitch: Ohana_! Read and review, and be sure to tell me what you think about my story! I've got more chapters coming, but as the saying goes, the impossible is gonna take a little while, so in the meantime, submit some feedback! It really does cheer me up to see that I've got lots of hits, and it makes me even happier to know that someone appreciates my work enough to review. **

**In any case, _aloha_ for now! **

**_ngrey651_**


	23. The Trouble With Love Is

**CHAPTER TWENTY ONE**

THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE IS…

It was the middle of spring, and all was well.

Except for 621 and 627. They were having problems on the bus that they were taking.

Specifically, with getting ON it.

"What the? Hey, no dogs allowed!" the bus driver cried out. "Get! Scram!"

"We aint' dogs, you dumb ape!" 627 said, cracking his knuckles, extra arms popping out.

"Down boy." 621 replied. He waved a fiver in the air. "Five bucks if you let us on."

The bus driver decided "what the heck" and let them on.

"You know what stop we're getting off on?" 621 asked 627. "Yeah, yeah, the fourth stop from the beach." 627 said, reciting it from memory. "I'm not an idiot." "You could have fooled me with your drooling." 627 wiped the drool off of his mouth as the bus took off down the street.

621 noticed an old lady was sitting next to them at the back of the bus. "Helloooo." She said, pinching his cheeks. "You're so CUTE, and you remind me of my grandson!"

621 immediately extended his extra arms from his body, and growled. The old lady shrieked and ran to the front of the bus.

"Nice one." 627 said.

"I just hate being called cute." 621 replied, scratching his pale white/yellow belly. "High twenty?" 627 asked, holding up all four of his hands.

"…all right. High twenty."

SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP!

Nick sighed and laid back on the hammock. It had been a hectic week, for sure. Escaping from Hamsterviel's ship, stopping Gantu from doing harm while he'd been looking for revenge, saving the town from "Hammy's" forces, AND stopping a huge fire from consuming Victoria's house.

Luckily the last four days had passed without threat, and Nick had taken the time to relax. He looked up at the sky as he sat on his back in the hammock, singing to himself. It was a song he had made up all on his own, and the words just came to him, from within his heart.

_Oh I was lookin' so looonnngg…for something I couldn't see…__I never thought that all this…could ever happen to meeee…__Yeah my life was okaaay…but I wanted…something more! __But now things in my life, they just all work right, now that I've landed on these shores!_

_Yeah, I'm doing okay! YEAH! I'm doing all right! YEAH! It's finally happened, now I see the light…_

_And I think I'm gonna learn to like it heeere!_

_Oh life's gonna be good, yeah it's gonna be great, so tell me…what in my life should I hate? Cuz I think I'm gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_Ohhh, I think I'm gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_Oh I used to whine…and I used to complain…but I don't think that I'll ever be that again! __Cuz now I know that everything is just fine! It's all gonna work out, this life of miiiine! __Yeah I know that I've had some bad times…but everyone's…had 'em too! __And now that I'm surrounded by the people I love, oh I know just what to do!_

_Lemme tell ya, I'm doing okay! YEAH! I'm doing all right! YEAH! It's finally happened, now I see the light…_

_And I think I'm gonna learn to like it heeere!_

_Oh life's gonna be good, yeah it's gonna be great, so tell me…what in my life should I hate? Cuz I think I'm gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_Ohhh, I think I'm gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_Sure I'm gonna have more problems...but I know that I'm gonna pull through! __Cuz there's some things in this crazy life that you just gotta learn to do! __Sure sometimes life sucks and sure sometimes it bites, but if you keep on believin' it'll all be all right! __And then you'll realize what life really has in store for yooouuuu!_

_You're doing okay! YEAH! You're doing all right! YEAH! It's finally happened, can you see the light…_

_I think you're gonna learn to like it heeere!_

_Oh life's gonna be good, yeah it's gonna be great, so tell me…what in your life should you hate? Cuz I think you're gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_Ohhh, I think you're gonna learn to…like it heeeeere!_

_No matter the problem, no matter how hard it may seem, you may think you can't beat it but you just gotta dream! __Keep the dream in your heart…and keep your eyes on the prize! If you give it your all, and you never give in, you'll never feel more aliiive! __Yeah, I used to be selfish, wanted to do it my way, but now, with some help, I always save the day…and there's nobody at all who can ever take the ones I love awaaaaaay!_

_I'm doing okay! YEAH! I'm doing all right! YEAH! It's finally happened, now I see the light…_

_And I think I'm gonna learn to love it heeere!_

_Oh life's gonna be good, yeah it's gonna be great, so tell me…what in my life should I hate? Cuz I think I'm gonna learn to…love it heeeeere!_

_Ohhh, I think I'm gonna learn to…love it heeeeere!_

He smiled as he finished the song. Yeah, he really was gonna learn to love it here. He planned on taking a nap right then and there…

But something was bothering him.

You see, Nick had taken the free time he'd had to acquaint himself with the people of the town, and had managed to make a few good friends…or two dozen, really. Everyone thought he was "the bravest, most heroic boy in town". Unfortunately, Keoni Jameson seemed to think otherwise.

Nick knew this because about fifteen minutes ago, the red-headed, wavy-haired surfer boy had walked up to Nick when Nick had been walking back to Lilo's house.

"You're Nick, right?" "Yeah?" "You think you're so tough, but you're not." "Huh?" "Listen _haole_, I know your type. You'd better not try anything, okay?" "Uh…what?" "You know what I'm talking about. And don't even THINK about trying to go behind my back. I've got a lot of friends in high places." "Uh…I don't know what the Billy Shears you're talking about." "Riiight. Liar."

"**DON'T CALL ME A LIAR!" **Nick shouted.

Keoni looked at him, surprised…and a little bit terrified. "Later." Keoni said quickly and then he had walked off in a huff, leaving a puzzled and very angry Nick to figure out what was going on.

Nick had decided to forget Keoni and to just relax on the grass until Lilo and Stitch came back from Victoria's house. Victoria had had something big to show them. Nick hoped that they'd tell him all about it. Meanwhile, Heartwing was lying in the backyard, snoozing, and Jumba was inside the house, attempting to fix the sofa that he'd broken when he and Pleakley had been fighting over the TV remote. It had started off reasonably enough…

About fifteen minutes ago… 

"Well folks, the alien invasion's long over, and thanks to some REAL defenders of Earth, I can go on talking about things THEY don't want you to hear! But first, Dude here's got a problem. Dude?"

"Yeah, man. I like…lost my shirt. Anyone seen it? It's got a big "Dude" written on it and stuff…"

"Ah." Turning the radio off, Jumba sat down on the couch, picking up the "TV Guide" off of the little table in front. "My favorite show is on today! Let's see…ah, here we are! Heh-heh. "Robotic Rumble", on in…oh, is starting in two minutes! Better turn to channel…" "Uh-uh-uh!" Pleakley suddenly sat down, grabbing the remote. "Now is the time of day when I get to watch "Dr. Okrah"! It's going to be a good episode…" "Pleakley, you are watching advice show all of time. Let me commence to watching television show about robotic creations decimating each other with evil weaponry! HA-HA-HA!"

Jumba suddenly realized that he was standing on the couch. He quickly sat back down.

"Sorry about that."

"Jumba, I know for a fact that you turned the microwave…um, was it the second or the third one…the third! Right! You turned our third microwave into a television! PLUS it has the thing Earthlings call "Tivo"!" "Tivo is indeed very useful Earth invention." "Watch your show on THAT!" "Unfortunately, cannot. 626 mistook my TV for microwave. Ruined it with frozen burrito. Is now in eighteen separate pieces."

Stitch had indeed said "Meega sota" for what he'd done, but "sota" didn't fix microwaves that had been turned into Tivo-using televisions…or mowers, or hair-dryers, or cars.

"Well tough beans, mister! You're just going to have to watch Dr. Okrah with me. I saved this time slot." "I want to watch MY show. You are handing over remote…" Jumba gave Pleakley a nasty grin. "Or waking up with Tamaranian Glorfnack head on your pillow." "You don't scare me! I'm not allergic to seafood! We're watching Okrah!"

"Robotic Rumble!"

"Okrah!"

"_Robotic Rumble!"_

"_Okrah!"_

"ROBOTIC RUMBLE!"

"OKRAH!"

"**GIVE ME THAT CLICKER, NOODLE MAN!"**

**"YEAH RIGHT, YOU…YOU IDIOT SCIENTIST!"**

"Whuh…whuh…**_WHY YOU_**-"

SLAM! CRACK! THUD.

"JUMBAAA! PLEAKLEEEEY!"

"Uh…I will be fixing this, older girl…"

"YOU'D BETTER!"

**Present…**

Nick looked up at the clear blue sky and felt a wonderful sense of…peace and calm. Being on the island made him feel so happy! "Island life does have it's charms, the constant sun, the steady breeze…"

Then, at that moment, Nick heard them. Victoria's mom was dropping off Lilo and Stitch. Nick hopped out of the hammock and walked over to the driveway. Lilo and Stitch had already waved goodbye to Victoria and her mother, and the car was already off and gone. Lilo smiled broadly at Nick and immediately opened her mouth.

"It was so COOL! Victoria found a huge crystal! It was all blue and green and red and purple cuz it kept on changing colors and you could see yourself in it and it was HUGE and she found it in her backyard, just behind a tree and you should have seen it cuz it was GREAT!"

"Ih!" Stitch said simply.

Nick blinked slowly, taking it all in, and then nodded. "Cool, a crystal. I'll have to check it out myself sometime…hey, where's Angel and Heartwing?"

"They said they had to do some "research" at the library, though I don't know what they would wanna look up…"

Meanwhile, inside the house, Jumba was grumbling as he walked out of the bathroom, having washed his hands. "Stupid couch. Back on home planet, we have far superior-OW!"

A bug bite on the neck. Boy, it _stung_! And…felt…funny…

Jumba rubbed his head. He felt all swimmy and dizzy. He'd have to go find a glass of water or something…maybe, what was it the earth girl called? Oh yes, "Aspirin". Why couldn't he remember that name?

Nani, who was in the kitchen, saw Jumba walk in, groaning and stumbling around. "Are you okay, Jumba?" she said. Jumba suddenly tripped and fell down onto the floor. Nani immediately rushed to his side and helped him up. "You okay? What's wrong?" Jumba looked at Nani, and his eyes went wide. "Nothing is wrong…I am dory-hunky." "Hunky-dory?" "Indeed, honey." "Honey?"

Meanwhile, outside and a few blocks away…

Gantu tossed a soda can into a recycling barrel nearby and sighed unhappily. He had lost his surfboard, and he had gotten back to remembering how Nick had kicked his butt. 625 munched happily on a chicken cordon blue sandwich, speaking in between mouthfuls. "How long exactly are ya going to mull over Nick kicking your butt?" "Quiet." Gantu said, taking a small bite of a hot dog. He had been lucky so far, having found a twenty-dollar bill on the beach, but that was only a temporary solution, since a certain yellow experiment ate for FIVE.

There was only 5 bucks left in any case. 625 had promised to keep his sandwich urges under control, but he'd already had two and Gantu had a feeling he was going to ask for another one.

"You really should put the past behind ya, Gantu. Nick's a decent kid. He did let you go, remember?" "Yes, I remember." "So you kinda owe him one. So let it go." "I can't do it that easily. It's hard." "You told me that you had problems back in school, right? With forgiving?" "My classmates were often mean to me." "Didn't you, Hamsterviel and my Dad go to the same school?" "Yes." "What were they like back then?" "Look, I was just starting first grade, and they were already in senior year, on their way to E.G.U. I knew practically nothing about them except that one was the smartest kid around and the other insisted that he was a hamster and not a gerbil or a rat or a mouse or a…" "Wascally wabbit?"

That got a smile. "Yes. Or a "wascally wabbit"." Gantu sighed and leaned back on the bench he and 625 were sitting on at the beach. "So that's all I knew about them." "The Grand Councilwoman, didn't she go to the same school?" "As a matter of fact, she did…but she was gone before Jookiba AND Hamsterviel were around." 625 swallowed his piece and nodded. "Yeah, I get it. Wow, she really IS old."

Gantu looked at the beach and the waves, sighing. "If only I had more money…I could just spend the rest of my life surfing. It costs a lot to rent a surfboard…I wish I was Uncle Chester." "Oh, not Uncle Chester again! How long are you gonna keep wishing that you were Uncle Chester?" "Like you're going to stop me." "Unfortunately not, but it's totally sad." "Go bury your head in the sand or something, trog!" "Now, now, no need to use harsh words like that. You should be lucky I came back." "Unfortunately." Gantu muttered. "I heard that!"

Meanwhile…

"I love you. Madly! Passionately!" "Get away from me!" "MARRY ME!" "HEEEELLLLPPP!" "KISS ME!" "JUMBA, GO AWAY!" "HUG ME!" "Pleakley, Lilo, Stitch! Someone HELP!" "LOVE ME!" "I SAID GO AWAY!"

Nani had barricaded herself in the bathroom, not only locking the door but dragging a dresser in front of it. Jumba was hammering away at it with his huge fists, desperately trying to get in.

"But I love you!"

"Jumba, _quit it_!"

Nick, Lilo and Stitch ran in to find what was truly a scene from something out of a movie. Jumba had grabbed a hammer to aid in breaking the door down and was singing a strange alien song, while Pleakley sat on the couch, barely containing his laughter as he fake-read a "Dr. Okrah's Ten Tips to Thin Thighs" book.

"Pleakley, what's going on?" Nick asked. "And what's he _singing_?" Lilo asked. "It's about a scientist falling in love and marrying his experiment." "Okaaaay." Lilo said, a little bit weirded out, as was Stitch. "What's going on?" "I don't know. I went upstairs to get my book and there they were!"

"HELP!"

"Tell me you love me, darling!"

"This is wrong. We gotta stop him." Nick said. Suddenly…

"Ow! Something bit me! What-whuh…woah…" Nick looked at Lilo, and then sighed happily. "Nick?" Lilo asked. Nick was looking at her like he'd kinda been whacked in the head. "I think I love you." Nick said. "What?" Lilo asked. "Methinks I love you!" Nick proclaimed, jumping in the air, doing a pirouette. Stitch suddenly smacked his fist into his open palm. "Cousin!" "Hey, you're right! This has gotta be Hunkahunka's work!" "Smart, Lilo. You figured it out. But too late. Much, MUCH too late."

A purple hummingbird with a sharp beak, small antennae with pink/purple tips, and big black eyes and a pink/purple crest suddenly flapped down from behind a hanging, potted plant that Pleakley had put up to make the house more "Chi-tastic". It was Hunkahunka, one of Stitch's cousins.

"Your little friend Nick here is gone. Or at least the Nick YOU know. He's madly in love with you, just as Jumba is with Nani. But…the longer he's under my little love spell, the more passionate he gets. Eventually he'll go psychotic and lustful with love, and…oh, wait until THAT happens! Oh, you're going to suffer so much. Look at it this way: sometimes…love hurts."

Hunkahunka sighed happily. "It'll be _wonderful_. I really should thank the doctor for his upgrades. Maybe a fruit basket or something. He likes pineapples." "Hunkahunka, WHY?" Lilo asked, frightened. "Why? WHY?" Hunkahunka growled and went right up in her face. "Oh, gee, let me refresh your memory, _brat_! "Let him go, Stitch. We don't need his kind of fakey love on the island." Does that sound familiar, you little piece of blitznack! I was captured, and worse still, when I was with Hamsterviel, I made him fall in love with a water vase because he twisted Felix's trunk and beat Amnesio over and over!"

"Cousins hurt?" Stitch asked, horrified. Hunkahunka glared at him angrily. "Yes, "cousin"…the stupid rodent hurt them. He punished Amnesio for making him forget who he was, he punished Felix for making a mess in his spaceship, and when he rushed to kiss the water vase I made him fall in love with, it knocked over and woke him from my spell! Then he took a shard of the broken vase and threw it at me! LOOK!" Hunkahunka turned around, revealing a pretty nasty scar on his back. Lilo gasped. "He hurt me! He hurt _us_! So…you're gonna get hurt too! You deserve it! You ABANDONED us! You hurt us all! We weren't USEFUL, so…you just let us go! It's all your fault, you stupid brat!"

Lilo bowed her head, ashamed. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "I don't want your pity!" Hunkahunka snarled, whipping back around. "I just want to see you and your hypocritical "oohana" suffer…like 627 and 621 here."

621 and 627 calmly stepped out from behind a doorway. 627 chuckled madly while 621 scratched his chest. "Hello, Lilo…and hello, brother." 621 said. "You might want to find another bathroom, though I doubt that will keep a kid with HIS powers away." 627 said, grinning cruelly. "Of course, 626 here can TRY to keep Nick away…but Nick is obviously stronger than him."

"Oh, it's you guys." Nick said. He had an unusually happy, giddy tone to everything he said. An "I'm in loooove" tone. "Hi. Now go away. I want to talk to Lilo." "Well Lilo doesn't wanna talk to you." 627 said. "She thinks you're ugly!" "What?" "No I don't! Nick, don't listen to them!" "She also thinks you're a bad kisser!" "I do NOT!" "I'm…I'm not a bad kisser!" "Prove it." 627 said, grinning cruelly. Lilo instantly saw the danger, and ran for the stairs. "Ooh, now she's playing hard to get." 627 said. He went towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna get a drink, 621. You want something?" "No." "Suit yourself. It is free." "I don't think you should be…wait…Lilo's playing hard to get? Aw, man!"

Nick sat down on the floor, pouting. "Aw, _man_. I hate it when people play hard to get." A few minutes later, 627 walked back into the living room, sipping a cola. When he saw Nick on the floor, pouting, he crushed the can and threw it out an open window. He looked from Nick, and then angrily glared at Hunkahunka. "What the…hey, I thought you said he'd be going passionate and crazy!" "He SHOULD be!" Hunkahunka was mystified. "I don't get it! My upgraded ability unleashes your feelings of love and caring and amplifies them to their extreme capabilities! He should be going nuts right now!"

Meanwhile, Pleakley had run for it, going to find help…someone, ANYONE. He ran through the streets, looking for somebody who might be able to last more than five seconds with an evil genetic experiment. His search led him to the beach…

Where he saw Gantu and 625, who were sitting at a table, playing cards. "Ha! Three Aces! I win!" "Not so fast, partner…ROYAL FLUSH." "What the…aw, blitznack!" "Looks like I win again, buddy." "You always seem to win…" "That's cuz I've got a great poker face! Plus you jiggle your leg every time you've got a good card combo." "I…I do NOT." "Oh yeah ya do!"

"Um…I, uh…can I interrupt?" Pleakley asked. Gantu and 625 whipped their heads toward him. "What do YOU want?" Gantu snapped. "Well, uh…you see, Hunkahunka kinda pecked Jumba and made him fall in love with Nani, who's barricaded in a bathroom, and then he made Nick fall in love with Lilo, and 621 and 627 have shown up, and Hunkahunka said that the longer they're under the spell the crazier with love they get…they might end up hurting Nani and Lilo and can you PLEASE, PLEASE help?"

Gantu looked at Pleakley for a few moments, not blinking. Then 625 spoke up. "Is it urgent?" "YES!" Pleakley shouted. "Uh…will you make us dinner if we help you out?" "Okay, okay, we'll make you dinner! And dessert! Just…will you help?"

Gantu looked at 625. "Well? Should we?" "Why not? We've got nothing better to do…and besides…free dinner and dessert." "Music to MY ears. Okay, noodle man. We'll do it."

Meanwhile…at the house…

Nick was now sobbing on the floor, covering his face. "Lilo must not love me! Why doesn't she like meeee?" Lilo, who was watching from behind a potted plant on the second floor, was mystified, as was 621, 627, Stitch and Hunkahunka. Jumba had now REALLY lost it, and Nani was still locked in the door, only know she had calmed down a little. She was no longer shouting. Her voice was just loud.

"COME OUT AND GIVE IT TO ME!"

"Jumba…NO."

"Come on! GET OUT HERE, BABY!"

"N-o spells NO."

"What's wrong with the weirdo?" 627 asked Hunkahunka, annoyed. 621 scratched his head, thinking, and Hunkahunka just looked at Nick, completely caught off guard. "I…I don't know…he should be at the most extreme in his feelings of love and caring!" "Maybe this IS his extreme." 621 said. "Huh?" 627 turned and glared at 621.

Nick kept on bawling. "Whyyyyy? Why doesn't she like me?"

627 growled. "Don't talk stupid, 621! What's going on here?" "This IS the most extreme state that Nick gets when it comes to loving. He gets really moody, apparently." "What? No lust? No mad passion? No psychopathic need to get some?" "By the looks of it…no. Maybe it has to do with his age. Or maybe he's just really an emotionally confused kid underneath."

"Why doesn't Lilo like meee? WAAAAHHH!"

"Oh this is ridiculous." 627 snarled. He walked over to Nick and grabbed him by the shirt. "Hurry up and get crazy!" "Don't TOUCH me!" Nick wailed, whacking him away with a pathetic excuse for a shove…but even THAT was enough to send 627 flying away. "Go away-ay-aaaayy…sob…sob…it's ALWAYS like this…first Molly, then Hannah…"

Lilo looked down at Nick, who was really distraught, having buried his face in his knees, wrapping his arms around them as well. She realized now that she had a chance. She ran for the upstairs bathroom and looked around. Finding a cup, she filled it up with water and ran downstairs. "Nick! Hold on, I'm…"

"YOU'RE not going anywhere." 627 said. Rushing forward and grabbing Lilo by the hair, he shoved her down and pushed her into the floor with his foot. "I'm gonna rip all your lovely black hair out, then make you EAT it!" Lilo screamed as 627 tugged harshly on her hair, making him laugh cruelly. Nick immediately looked up at Lilo and saw her in trouble.

"You…you're…stop…stop that…stop hurting her."

"Come any closer, and I rip her head off." 627 said in a matter-of-fact way. 621 looked from Nick to Lilo to 627, finally sighing and walking towards the door. "What? Don't wanna see the show?" "Your methods make me sick. Just do what you're planning to do, 627. I'm not interested in seeing you rip her hair out, OR the boy's." He walked out the door, and then…

"RRRRAAARRGH!"

Suddenly Heartwing burst through a window, knocking 627 over, making him release Lilo, who immediately stood up and tossed the cup filled with water all over Nick. Nick coughed and spluttered, then looked at Lilo, blinking confusingly. "Huh? What's going on, Lilo?" "Hunkahunka pecked you and made you fall in love with me. And 627 is here." "What?" "He…uh…he tried to pull all my hair out." Lilo said softly.

Meanwhile, both Stitch and Heartwing had succeeded in double-teaming 627, but he was still stronger than them, and a good punch sent them flying away. Heartwing snarled and jumped into the air, dive bombing 627 and knocking him into the couch, breaking it…AGAIN. 627 snarled and picked up the two huge pieces. "I'm gonna crush you, you stupid inferior human! Your emotions disgust me! DIE!" He jumped up to slam the pieces of the couch into Lilo…

Nick jumped into the air, raising his right foot, which became encased in a swirling orb of water. "AQUA KICK!" He knocked 627 to the ground, making the evil experiment drop the couch. Nick then picked him up and threw him out of the window, then he rushed out the door to face 627, who slowly stood up, panting angrily. "Stupid inferior…" "You hurt my friends! You hurt my _ohana_! You hurt LILO. I'm gonna beat you up!"

Nick shouted, pointing accusingly at 627, resolve etched into every feature in his body. 627 laughed. "As if YOU'LL win against me! I'm superior!" 627 snapped his fingers, and several palm trees around the house flew into the air. "I have telekinetic powers, idiot. DIE!" They zoomed towards Nick…

BAM-BAM-BAM!

All three trees blew up in an explosive mix of plasma and wood. Gantu and 625 stood by the hammock, having just arrived on the scene. Or rather, Gantu stood there with a smoking plasma pistol, and 625 was lying on his back in the hammock. Pleakley ran up to them and eagerly shook Gantu's hand, almost making him fall over. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" "Stuh-stuh-stuh-stop sh-sh-shaking meeeee!"

Nick grinned. "Now then…you were saying?" 627 snarled and pointed at Nick. "DIE!" Nick suddenly felt himself being lifted into the air. He went higher, higher…627 grinned nastily and snapped his fingers again. Nick plummeted towards the ground…

Suddenly Nick was whisked towards 627 by Heartwing, who grinned at Nick and gave him an attempt at a thumbs up. "Kick butt?" He asked. "Oh, yeah!" Nick said, giving Heartwing a REAL thumbs up. 627 snarled and jumped into the air, eager to tear the two apart, but Nick jumped free of Heartwing and his right foot began to glow with a aquamarine aura as Nick raised it into the air, up to his head.

"CRESCENT KICK!" Nick shouted. He swung it down in a crescent arc, and it slammed into 627, who immediately plummeted to the ground, nose bloodied and barely conscious. He slammed into the ground and groaned, barely able to stand. He slowly stood up…

Then was punted into the jungle by Gantu, who watched as the orange experiment soared away through the air. 625 raised his hands in the air. "Touchdoooown! 6 points for team fishy!"

"Sweet kick. You play sports in school? Do they have high school on your planet?"

"I didn't go to high school on MY planet, but yes I played sports in high school. I was very good, a rising star…but I wanted a leadership role somewhere OFF the sports field, so…"

"Well, thanks."

"…whatever, human. The noodle man said you'd make us dinner and dessert if we help."

"Sure. You like burgers?"

"Could you make mine a cheeseburger?"

"Sure."

"With lettuce?"

"Yep. And we've got ice cream too."

"Sounds good to me. I'll go set the table!"

"But it's only 2:00!"

"Uh…well…"

"How about a game of catch?" Lilo suggested, walking towards Gantu with Stitch by her side. Stitch was holding onto a football. "Ih! Let's play!"

Nick grinned. "Okay. Lilo, Stitch, huddle! 625, Gantu, do you mind having Pleakley on your team?" "No." "Uh…I'm okay with it." Pleakley said. "Hey wait…what do you mean by "do they mind"?" "Nevermind that." Nick said. "Group huddle!" Lilo, Stitch and Nick all huddled together. "Divide we our offense in three. Stitch, you go long."

"You've got to give it to me!"

"Jumba, if you don't go away, I'm calling the police! I've got them on speed dial on my cell phone, I mean it!"

Nick turned red. "Uh…I guess we'll have to call a time out. Somebody get the hose!" Pleakley rushed to grab it. "Think you can calm down Jumba?" Lilo asked. Pleakley smirked. "Oh, don't worry…I've got it under control."

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

"Uh…he's back to normal now…you can stop spraying…and chasing him around the yard."

"CALL **ME** NOODLE MAN, WILL YOU!"

"AAAAAHHHH!"

"Sigh…I suppose I should stop him."

"Oh look, Jumba's found the other hose…"

"Uh oh."

**"Hit the deck!"**

SPLOOOOOOSH!

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Keoni Jameson_

Keoni Jameson's father owns not only the Birds of Paradise Hotel, a nice collection of boats AND a lot of property in town, but he's also pretty rich. Therefore, Keoni's grown up having a fairly spoiled childhood, giving him a usually laid-back, "let's just party" attitude. His hobbies include skateboarding, skating and tubing, and he's recently gotten a change in attitude. It may have something to do with the girl he's recently fallen for…

**Author's Note:**

I'm baaaaack! Be sure to let me know what you all think of my story, be it a review on the story as a whole or one to do with a specific chapter. I appreciate feedback, and I got a lot more chapters coming!


	24. I'll See It Through

**CHAPTER TWENTY TWO**

I'LL SEE IT THROUGH

Victoria was standing in front of her closet, looking very proud. Nick was with Lilo, Stitch and Heartwing. The dragon was currently on his back, belly exposed, looking for a belly rub. Victoria quickly obliged him and then stood back by the closet. "Okay Nick, you're gonna really like this!" she said. "It's so cool! I found it in my backyard, as you know, and best of all, we're having a professional appraiser coming over to find out what it's made of!" Nick nodded. "All right, so come on! What's it look like, what's it look like?" Victoria grinned and grabbed the doorknob. "Ta-da!" she proclaimed.

Ta-da indeed!

It was quite the sight, to understate it. It was a HUGE singular crystal formation, jutting up, a prism-like crystal formation that indeed kept changing colors every couple of seconds, just like Lilo had said. The surface was smooth and shiny, and Nick could see himself in the crystal. He grinned, showing a big smile. "Awwwwwsome." Nick said, gazing at the crystal in total admiration and awe.

It was so beaaaautiful…

"It's wonderful!" Nick said, stepping forward and touching it with his fingers, feeling it's smooth surface. Suddenly Nick felt odd. Quite odd. Then he looked closely into the crystal and saw something shocking.

It wad another experiment, which was sending cars and street signs and island flora flying with huge blasts of wind from its trunk. It slightly resembled a pink, mutant elephant. Then Nick saw 627, at the beach, with a beaten-up Gantu and 625 right next to him! 627 suddenly turned to his left, pointing at Stitch, who was in the street with Lilo and Heartwing. 627 sneered and made the "bring it" gesture. Stitch jumped at him…

Suddenly Nick now saw himself, fighting 621. Punching, kicking, rolling around near the cliffside. Suddenly he saw 621 kick him off and step back…off the cliff. 621's arms pinwheeled…

Nick stepped back, frightened. What on EARTH had he just seen? He shook his head, frightened. "Me and mom and dad had to work together to move it in here, and the appraisers…huh? Nick? You okay?" Nick rubbed his head. "I…I just have a headache. You have any aspirin or Tylenol lying around?" "There's a medicine cabinet in the bathroom down the hall." Victoria said.

Meanwhile, in town…

Nani sat down on the bench, talking with David. "So David, how have you been doing?" "Oh, I've been okay, but what about you, Nani? I've been worried about you. Nick's a real good kid, he and Lilo, and Stitch's really nice too…but they're getting in a lot of hot water, and you're getting so stressed." "I know, I KNOW." Nani groaned, lying back in the bench and looking up at the sky. "I…I just don't have time to relax. I can never seem to make time!" "Well, you can relax now." David said, patting her on the shoulder. Nani smiled and hugged him. "_Mahalo_, David."

They hugged for a few moments, then drew away, awkwardly rubbing the backs of their necks and turning red. "Uh…so…" David began. "Do uh…are you…that is…are you interested in maybe, uh…you know…going to see a movie tonight? After dinner?" Nani blushed even further. "Really? Dinner and a movie? Why David, I…I'd love to! _Mahalo_ plenty. You're really sweet." She said. David chuckled nervously. "It's nothing."

Walking past them was a very depressed Gantu, who would even look up. He slammed into a telephone pile, but just groaned and walked around it. "What's wrong, big du-I mean, Gantu?" David asked. "625's missing. I can't find him anywhere." "I thought he drove you nuts." Nani said. Gantu suddenly got all indignant. "Hey, don't go thinking that I…you know, that I miss him! I just…need another person to play poker with. Besides, I like his egg salad."

Suddenly Gantu looked down and noticed that his plasma pistol was gone. "What the…what happened to my plasma pistol?" Nani shrugged. "That's odd…it was just th-HEY, my cell phone!" David gasped as he felt for his wallet…because his wallet wasn't there. "My wallet!" he said. "Someone stole my wallet too!"

"My Ferrariiii!" someone from across the street complained. Black marks from a hasty takeoff were all that was left to show that a very nice red Ferrari, with leather, had been standing by the sidewalk, parked…with the keys stupidly left in the ignition. A few hours later, even MORE people would have stuff stolen from right under their noses, and nobody had the slightest clue who it could be…

Except, that is, for a certain yellow experiment, who was currently wearing a brown detective's hat and an overcoat.

One guy now searches for the answers to one of life's great mysteries.

And that guy is..

.**626, private eye!**

_

* * *

__This is the story of a big dream in a little town. My dream. My attempt to find myself a once true place, like that girl always talked about. _

_It ain't a pretty story, but I'm not a pretty guy ya'know. _

_I was walking along, minding my own business with a sandwich in hand, just about to take a bite. That's when somebody 'cross the street starts hollerin'. Brunette, as usual. Says she's gotten her purse stolen. I figured it wasn't my problem. I get back to my sandwich…_

_Suddenly somebody pulls me into an alley and proceeds to play me like I'm an accordion, using hard, robotic knuckles, and I hear a strange accented voice laugh before BAM, I'm out like a light._

_When I wake up, my sandwich is almost totally eaten…all they left was one piece…which a mouse runs off with a moment later. _

_THAT'S IT._

_Now it's my problem._

_Only two people I know who could steal stuff and get away with it…only two EXPERIMENTS. They go by the names of Bonnie and Clyde, after the two famous robbers. _

_They're stealing stuff all over the island, huh?_

_Not on MY watch. This just…got…PERSONAL._

_I noticed that there was a salvation army donation store nearby. I stopped in to look for some clothes, and found what I needed. A hat, an overcoat…I felt I was ready. Bonnie and Clyde could steal stuff, sure, but it didn't work on fellow experiments…unless the experiments were TOTALLY caught off guard. Like I'D been. _

_So I just had to go where the money was. Then…I'd find them. And I'd get back at them for ruinin' my lunch!_

* * *

Meanwhile… 

Victoria and Lilo gasped. Nick drew in a quick, harsh breath. Stitch's eyes widened and his fur stood straight up.

The crystal was gone. They'd gone outside to play Frisbee, and had come back inside to find it gone.

Victoria fell to her knees, tearing up. Lilo tried to comfort her, while Stitch sniffed around, trying to catch a scent. Nick looked around the room, at the floor. Stitch stopped sniffing, and pointed out the doorway. "So they went thattaway, huh?" Nick said. "Well it's time to teach some crooks that crime don't pay!" "_Please_ bring it back." Victoria said. "And be careful with it." Lilo said. "Yeah, we need that crystal to pay for the damage that got done to the house's roof." Victoria said, sniffling a little. Nick had saved most of the house, but the roof was in BAD shape. He understood where Victoria was coming from.

"Don't worry, Stitch and I will find the thieves, Victoria. Lead the way, Stitch." "Ih." Stitch said, putting his nose to the ground and sniffing away, following the trail with Nick right behind.

Elsewhere…

"So…you've found it. Good." "Yeah, yeah. You gonna pay up now?" "Yeah, we wanna get paid right now." "That's not up to me, and you two know that. Bring it up with Hamsterviel. HE'S the one who wants the crystal…and it IS beautiful. But you need to get one more thing…" "What?" "Jumba Jookiba's computer." "No problem." "Actually there's a snag. Cobra Bubbles has put up secret cameras around the house to make sure that Jumba's not fiddling around with something he shouldn't be. He doesn't trust him, or Pleakely." "Smart human." "All the same, you two will have to find the cameras and eliminate them before you enter the house. Here's a map of the Pelekai grounds, these are the camera locations and this shows how far ahead and to the side they can see…"

As for 625…

* * *

_I started my investigation by asking around. I needed answers. All I found were questions. Which way did they go? How did they break outta jail? Were they working with anyone? And most importantly, WHY? _

_Bonnie and Clyde like stealing stuff just for fun a lot of the time, but usually they'll like to do it only for one reason…money. They like money a LOT. So I realized that the next place they'd hit would have a lot of money in it…or a lot of valuable stuff._

_Now the nearest bank's on another island. However there IS something valuable that's right down the street, in a dance hall where that girl Lilo has her hula classes. So I realized that Bonnie and Clyde would head there._

_See, there's some historical artifacts in that dance hall, from old paintings to quilts and blankets made by island natives from over hundreds of years ago. They're not just rich in sentimental and historical value either. They're worth QUITE the pretty penny.  
_

_So I headed on over there. Sooner or later, they'd be drawn to the place…_

* * *

Back to Nick and Stitch! 

Nick followed right behind Stitch, who still had his nose to the ground, sniffing madly. They were currently around the Birds of Paradise hotel, which was just to their left. "Are we getting closer?" Nick asked. "Ih. Cousins close." Stitch said. Suddenly he sat up and snorted. "Ah-ha!" he said, pointing right ahead. Getting in a nice red Ferrari, with leather upholstery, were two experiments, one female and one make.

The female experiment was slightly short, with light green and yellow fur, and with big blue eyes and small antennae, along with some sharp fangs. She wasn't very muscular, but she did have a pretty big head, and was the brains of the group. Her name was Bonnie. Her partner, a big, hefty experiment with brown skin and a metallic left arm, was sitting in front of her, driving the car. He had kinda stubby ears and a lantern jaw. He was Clyde, the brawn of the gang.

"Okay, off to the Pelekais to…heh-heh…drop in." Bonnie said, her Chicago accent unmistakable. "Yeah, drop in. Hold on, Bonnie." Clyde said, and he revved the engine. "Stitch, they're getting away!" Nick said. "Naga." Stitch said, raising a stone. He threw it, and it hit the wheel of the car, bursting the tire. Bonnie looked to her right and saw Stitch, frowning. "YOU. You stupid snitch! Why I oughta get Clyde to-hey, who's the kid?"

"Hey, "the kid" has a name, and the name is Nick Grey, Bonnie." Nick said. "You've been stealing stuff all around the island, especially Victoria's crystal! Give it back!" Clyde looked Nick over. "Hey, you're that kid 621 and 627 told us about! You don't look so tough…you sure you can lift more than 250 tons?" "Yeah, I'm sure." Nick said. "Just checking." Clyde said. "And we can't give that crystal back. The hamster needs it for his new thingamajig." "Huh?" "Hamsterviel's building some really huge spaceship or somethin', and he needs an Destiny Crystal to activate it. He's paying BIG money for the stone."

"Destiny Crystal?" "Oh, right. You ain't heard o' one before. Those things are really valuable, they can power up ships real good, AND if you're lucky, you can see into the future when you touch them! We stole a few before, when we went on field missions. They're one of the most powerful crystals around. Plus they look sweet, don't they Clyde?" "Yeah, they sure look pretty." "Anyhow…" Bonnie and Clyde hopped off. "Time to be going. We gotta cash in. Ta-ta!" The two ran off. "Let's get 'em." Nick said. "Feeboogoo!" Stitch shouted, and the two ran after Bonnie and Clyde, heading in the direction of the dance hall…

* * *

_I was hiding behind the door when THEY burst in. Bonnie and Clyde…with Nick and my cousin right behind them. _

_Good. I like an audience. Nick immediately had an idea as to what I was gonna do, so he grabbed Stitch and pulled him to the side, leaving Bonnie and Clyde alone in the doorway._

_I decided to then introduce my two crook cousins to a good friend of mine who's VERY close to my heart. _

_A little to the lower right actually._

_My friend's quite the eloquent speaker, ya'know. He made four profound arguments before I felt the need to sit down and take it all in. Philosophical stuff always makes me tired. _

* * *

Nick gaped as Bonnie and Clyde moaned on the floor, brought down…and hard. 625, in old-fashioned detective gear, was sitting on the floor, smoking plasma pistol at his side. "THAT'S for my sandwich." He said, before letting out a deep breath. "Woooooo. Hey there, cuz. Hey, kid."

Stitch clapped his hands. "Morcheeba." He said, impressed with his cousin. Bonnie and Clyde, however, were made of sterner stuff, and they stood up, angry. "You think THAT'S gonna beat us?" Clyde said, laughing. "That was the plan." 625 said, his bubble burst. Clyde cracked his knuckles. "Well your plan didn't work." Bonnie said. "Come on Clyde, get 'em!" Stitch jumped at Clyde, growling angrily…but was suddenly flung aside by an invisible force. Nick looked at the far end of the dance hall to see…

621 and 627. 627 had his hand raised, and was grinning. "Well-well-well…tell me guys, did you get it?" Bonnie grinned. "We got it. It's behind the bushes that we parked our car by." "Oh, good." 621 said. "I'll go get it then. In the meantime, 627, Bonnie and Clyde here can keep you three company. Good luck." With that, 621 walked out of the dance hall, chuckling. Nick gulped.

"Oh, boy. This is gonna get ugly…"

627 raised his hand and sent Stitch flying through the air…towards a valuable tapestry!

Nick immediately jumped up and grabbed him, pulling him down. "Watch it! The stuff in here is priceless! These are all parts of Hawaii's history, not folding chairs or announcer stands at a wrestling match!" 627 looked around at the culture surrounding him and then did something VERY rude. He walked up to a very cool-looking tapestry and spat on it, then ripped if off the wall and tore it into dozens of little pieces.

A moment later, both Nick and Stitch were barreling towards him, both screaming with anger and rage. Another moment later, they'd been thrown across the room, and then were suspended in the air. 627 casually walked over, laughing. "Priceless my butt. This stuff looks like a kid made it. In a few seconds I'm gonna turn you BOTH into a Jackson Pollock painting!" Nick struggled in the air, but to no avail, and Stitch was spouting off galactic expletive after galactic expletive. 627 sneered at 625. "Oh, I almost forgot you…I'll deal with you first, fatty!" He raised his other hand…

BAM!

And he's dooooown! 627 fell to the ground, unconscious. Nick and Stitch also fell back down to the ground and gasped at what had knocked out 627. 621 was right in back of 627's crumpled form, smiling a little, his fist outstretched. "627 is extremely cheap and cowardly. I couldn't stomach his actions anymore. True I want to see my brother dead and gone, but…" He looked at Nick. "I…I do feel sorry for the child. Therefore, I'm letting you two off this one time. Next time…you won't be so lucky. Understand?"

Nick nodded. "Sure." "Good." 621 said, walking outside. "Oh, and uh…Bonnie and Clyde just made off with that big tapestry that was hanging from behind you." Nick and Stitch turned to see that yes, it was gone. The chase...was on! On like Donkey Kong!

* * *

_I sighed and stood up, brushing myself off. I staggered out the door, heading for the streets. I sat down on a nearby bench at a bus stop and waited for the conga in my head to stop playing. A loud, grating noise was burning in my ears. I reached over a punk's lap, flicked a switch on his stereo, and turned off Kayne West. _

_The kid gave me a nasty look, and started verbally assaulting me with ammunition usually reserved for truck stops, happy hour, or when people get cut off in traffic. I asked the kid a very profound question about whether he ever wanted kids, and he screamed and ran like a little girl._

_I'd gotten back at Bonnie and Clyde…but I hadn't found MY one true place yet. I guess I never will…_

_But…I gotta say aloha. By which I mean goodbye._

* * *

Bonnie and Clyde ran down the street, the tapestry flying above their head as they ran. Bonnie laughed. "Ha-ha-ha! This is SURE to earn us a pretty penny on the black market, Clyde! We're gonna be livin' on easy street for the rest of our lives instead of in Cell Block 4!" "Yeah, we're gonna live like kings!" Stupidly, they had chosen to just run for it down the sidewalk, and therefore, EVERYONE saw them stealing the tapestry. But try as the people might, the two thieves were faster than any bystander.

They made their way, laughing all the while, to the football stadium in Kohana Town. It wasn't in use today…or so they thought. After all, when was the last time there'd been a football game? It was spring still!

When they walked inside…

"Oh." Bonnie said. "Uh oh." Clyde groaned.

Lo and behold, a football game wasn't playing…but it was a scout troop meeting. About two dozen boy and girl scout groups had all gathered in the football stadium, and were talking, eating, doing knots and other scout stuff. Clyde, being the type of person that he was, noticed the cookies. "Ooooh! They've got thin mints! Bonnie, Bonnie, can we buy some thin mints?" "You can get some AFTER we sell this thing." "You're not selling anything!" "Ih!"

Stitch and Nick now stood on a huge stage, and Nick was grinning. "Scout troops of Hawaii…do a civil service and block the exits please? Those thieves are trying to make off with a valuable piece of Hawaiian history!" "Well in that case of COURSE we'll do it." said a scoutmaster. "Boy scouts, you heard the kid! Block the exits!" "Girl scouts, apprehend those thieves!"

Eager to earn a "Good Citizen" badge or two, a large gaggle of scouts blocked all the exits, and several girl scout troops began advancing towards Bonnie and Clyde, who screamed and ran, ducking and dodging…and leaving the tapestry behind. Nick grinned and jumped down from the stage, running at Bonnie and Clyde. Stitch looked over at a kid with a video camera…it was Keoni! So Keoni was a boy scout. Stitch suddenly had an idea.

"Hey, tooma baba faki goodoo!" "Huh?"

Stitch sighed. He SO had to learn more English!

"Camera please." "Oh. Okay!" Keoni, puzzled, handed him the video camera. Stitch grinned and turned it on. "Smile." He said, pointing it at Nick, Bonnie and Clyde. Nick was facing them down, his watch suddenly playing music…but not just _any_ music! Nick pointed at Bonnie and Clyde, looking very heroic.

"You guys thought it was okay to steal things just so you could get some cash! Well you didn't get away with it…and now you're gonna get punished for what you did!" "Who do you think you are, kid? A cop?" "Sort of. I'm a superhero. I not only uphold the law of the universe, I practically _am_ the law!"

**BGM: I Fought the Law, by Green Day**

Nick took up a fighting position. "And you know what happens to those who fight the law!" Clyde laughed. "Yeah right, kid! We'll kick your butt! YAAAAHHH!" He rushed towards Nick, fist raised high. Nick grinned and rushed right at him, jumping up and kicking him in the head, sending him flying.

_Breakin' heads in the…hot sun! You fought the law, and the…law won! You fought the law and the…law won! You needed money cuz you…had none! You fought the law and the…law won! You fought the law and the…law won!_

Bonnie growled and picked up a tent stake from the ground. She rushed at Nick, eyes closed, desperately trying to stick him. Nick stepped to the side.

_I miss my baby, yeah I feel so sad…_

He tripped her.

_I guess your race is run!_

He gave a thumbs up to Stitch.

_Why she's the best girl that I've ever haaaad!_

He turned back to Clyde, who had gotten up and was charging again.

_You fought the law and the law won! You fought the law, and the…_

WHAM-BAM-BAM-BAM! Three good punches to the gut, followed by an uppercut to the chin, and Clyde went flying through the air, landing on a recently pitched-up tent. Several scouts groaned. The scoutmaster that was in it groaned more loudly, and his socks, the only thing sticking out from the tent, curled up…and there was much rejoicing. Several scouts cheered and jumped up and down. "Sorry!" Nick yelled out. Bonnie snarled, and rushed at him.

Nick turned back to Bonnie, who jumped at him, trying to scratch him. He grabbed her wrist.

_Robbin' people with a…six gun! You fought the law, and the…law won! You fought the law and the…law won! _

He threw her back at Clyde, and both of them sailed into the wall of the stadium.

_I miss my baby, and I miss my fun! You fought the law and the…law won! You fought the law and the…law won!_

Nick grabbed a nearby stick and pretended it was a microphone.

_I miss my baby, yeah I feel so sad… I guess your race is run! Why she's the best girl that I've ever haaaad! You fought the law and the law won! You fought the law, and the…_

Nick then pretended to play an electric guitar for a brief guitar solo. Then he started clapping to the rhythm.

_They fought the law and the…law won! They fought the law and the…law won! They fought the law and the…law won! They fought the law and the…law won! _

Soon everyone else had joined in singing and clapping. Stitch too was clapping…with his extra arms.

_They fought the law and the…law won! They fought the law and the…law won! _

"Yeah, come on everybody, sing it!"

_They fought the law and the…law won! They fought the law and the…_

"Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeaaaah!" Nick finished. He then slammed down his hand on the air-guitar strings, ending the song with a nice pose. He looked up.

Hundreds upon hundreds of scouts were all looking at him. He grinned nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh…heh-heh…got…carried away." Clap. Clap. Clap. Someone was clapping. It was Stitch! The slow clap. Soon, others joined in, and a few minutes later, the stadium was alive with the sound of clapping…and Lilo was there too! In the stands, waving hi, beaming proudly. "Hey, Nick!" "Lilo!" "I came to see the scouts, but this is really cool! You were great!" "All on camera." Stitch said, tapping the camera. "Awesome." Nick said. He looked over at Bonnie and Clyde, who were staggering up. "Hey…I've got an idea."

Keoni, who HADN'T clapped, shook his head angrily and walked out, muttering "dumb _haole_" under his breath.

He walked over to Bonnie and Clyde, who cowered, covering their heads with their arms. "Look, I'm not gonna hurt you anymore. I just want to know something." "What?" Bonnie asked. "You said Hamsterviel needed the crystal to power his ship. Where's the crystal?" "We…well…we left it back at the dance hall. It's behind the stage." "Okay. And where's Hamsterviel?" "He snuck out of prison." "Wait…how'd he do THAT?"

Meanwhile, far, far away…

It was a routine prisoner check. An armored guard, whose name was Bob, casually walked down the hall, past several hissing, booing and shouting prisoners. He had skinny armor and a large helmet that covered his head completely. You couldn't see into his visor.

First prisoner he had to check was...oh boy.

He walked over to Big, Bratty, Big-Breasted Baby-Eating O'Brian's cell and looked in.

She gave him a wink with her clear blue eyes, blowing a kiss from her full red lips.

"Hey babe." Mmmmaah!

The first time he'd seen her he'd opened his mouth so much you could have fit two dozen zorka berries into it. Now he just tossed her a nasty glare and moved on.

Bob made his way towards a door and opened it up, then made a left. Next up on the checklist…Dr. Hamsterviel's cell.

Bob knocked on the glass with his gloved hands. "Hey! Doc! About face! It's cell check time!"

The furry form of Dr. Hamsterviel wouldn't answer. He was facing the other way. This wasn't that unusual, since about 42 of Hamsterveil's day was spent sulking in silence.

Bob sighed. "Okay, then…have it your way." Bob opened the cell, and pulled out a remote control, pressing a button. The machinery that was holding Dr. Hamsterviel released him, and he fell out…

Revealing what was really an alien bunny. The bunny blinked, then hopped out of the cell. Bob immediately grabbed his communicator. "Grand Councilwoman, Grand Councilwoman, this is terrible!" "What is it, number 2152?" "Dr. Gerbil-sorry, Dr. Hamsterviel's escaped! He's been missing for at least a week, since we LAST did the check!" "WHAT! He escaped? But-but how?…no matter. He's gone now. Go alert your fellow guards…I have to make an important call to deal with this new threat."

Meanwhile, 621 stood in front of the Destiny Crystal as it glimmered in the light of the moon. He was just a few hundred yards away from Hamsterviel's secret base, but for some reason…he didn't want to go there just yet. He had to do it. He just HAD to see into the future.

He reached out, brushing it gently. Suddenly he…heard things…

"I can never be in your ohana..." "She's MY ohana too!" "Boojibu?" "She used to be my girl…" "I believe that aloha means…GOODBYE." "Rupert..." "Go-go-go! Save us all!" "You guys don't need to protect me! I can fight for myself!" "621! YOU ARE MY…"

621 drew back, shivering.

What did it all MEAN?

Elsewhere, someone else was thinking hard.

**I have to make a choice now. I don't know if it'll work. But…**

**But Nick reached out with his heart. **

**Maybe someone like me…who was created, and not born…**

**Maybe I have a heart too…like he does. Maybe…maybe I can reach out…to the one who shall turn.**


	25. The End of the Beginning, Pt1

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

THE END OF THE BEGINNING, PT. 1

The next day, after Nick had beaten Bonnie and Clyde, the two robbers were released into Cobra Bubble's custody on Parole, and were currently locked up with the rest of the experiments that Nick and Stitch had captured. Until Angel sang her song backwards, they were all threats. Luckily she was on her way.

Until then, Cobra had his hands full. True, the experiments were locked up in a special government facility in indestructible, inescapable cells, but nevertheless, they made a loud racket. Cobra passed the time by playing solitaire. "Hmm-hmm…put that there…and…ha! I won."

Too bad that the problem with playing solitaire is that you don't get to really gloat. So Sam was feeling a little bored…and annoyed.

Why annoyed?

Well...

"WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!"

Cobra silenced the experiments with a terrible glare, then reshuffled the deck. He sighed. For some reason he REALLY wished that being an agent of the secret shadow government came with a good dental plan. He hoped that Nick, Lilo and Stitch at the very least, were enjoying themselves. He turned his radio on.

"Hey, listen up to Dougie, man! Double D knows what he's talkin' 'bout! It may be a dog-eat-dog world out THERE, but it's a Dougie Doug world in HERE, and you'd better believe I'm gonna take advantage of it! Now, I've got a special guest speaker today. Meet Mrs. Hasagawa!"

"Oh, hi dearies. _Aloha_."

"So Mrs. H, how's it hangin', babe? Still on the dating scene?"

"With a little bit of luck I'll be married in the fall!"

"Ooh! Who's the lucky man?"

Cobra chuckled. Suddenly something caught his attention from the cells.

"Hey, no mooning! Ugh. I hope the kids are happy right now, cuz things can't get much worse for ME."

Nick and Stitch however, had other problems at the moment. They'd woken up to terrible weather. Or rather…to see huge tornadoes ravaging the island! Stitch took one look at them and immediately said "Cousin bad." "Yeah…lemme guess…it's Phoon, right?" "Ih." "This is bad. We'd better go stop her."

Then Stitch noticed something. Something VERY bad. Stitch, arm shaking, pointed at Lilo's bed.

Lilo was gone.

Kidnapped.

"This is REALLY bad." Nick said quietly.

"Ih."

As a matter of fact, 621 had snuck inside the room and had kidnapped her, clamping his hand over her mouth so she couldn't speak. He and she were now in a cave near the beach, and Lilo was tied up in front of 621, who paced the floor. "Lemme go!" she shouted. "No." he said. "You're going to be bait for 626 or Nick, depending on who shows up. Perhaps they'll BOTH come…then again, with Phoon on the loose, they wouldn't dare try that. Of course, Phoon is not the only one we released."

"What?" "You know, it's quite interesting how you name the experiments you catch. I heard that Jumba and Hamsterviel, in the early days, used to name theirs…back when they really loved having the company." "So what changed?" "I wish I knew. In any case, we released FIVE experiments. You know them as Phoon, Tank, Kixx, Amnesio and Felix." "Felix and Amnesio? Didn't Hamsterviel…" "Yes. Hunkahunka spoke the truth. Hamsterviel did hurt them. Therefore they're eager to punish you and 626." "His name is STITCH!" Lilo shouted, stomping her foot. 621 shrugged. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. What's in a name? In any case…"

621 walked over to Lilo and lifted her chin, so that she was looking right at him. His black claws almost cut into her skin, but instead they just hovered above it, as his big black eyes stared into her tear-filled brown ones. "They're on their way here." He said softly. "They're going to really vent some anger and frustration. I doubt you'll survive long enough for anyone to rescue you, but hey, you never know…" "Why are you doing this?" Lilo begged. "Jumba's sorry that he made you feel bad! He's not a bad person, not really…and we'd let you and 561 into our _ohana_ if you wanted to be a part of it." A voice suddenly spoke up.

"Oh, you would?"

Lilo gasped. It was 561! He'd been hiding in the shadows of the cave. He stepped forward, eyes gleaming. "I really don't understand you humans. Showing kindness towards those that hate you, towards those that would gladly kill you. It just doesn't seem logical." "Humans are not really logical creatures anyway." 621 said. "You're so much weaker than most species, and yet…there is something about you humans that few other species have…no matter how often you find yourself in danger, no matter how many times you fail, you keep getting right back up and trying, even harder than before. Why try when you'll keep failing?"

Lilo's eyes blazed with passion. "Because we won't fail if everyone works hard and works together! That's a part of being an _ohana_…working together, supporting each other! You don't understand that because you don't have anyone who cares about you…but…if you wanted, you could be a part of OUR _ohana_…" 621 released Lilo and walked towards the entrance of the cave. "Here come Amnesio and Felix...oh, and Kixx too." He said softly. "It's a pity…you're a good person, Lilo Pelekai. You and Nick. But I'm not meant to be a part of your family. I'm just experiment 621. Nothing else. And I just follow orders. Don't take this personally." With that, he walked out of the cave, leaving Lilo alone. Lilo suddenly noticed that the ropes had been sliced free. She was free! She was…was…

With 561.

The dark dragon slowly walked towards her, flexing his claws. "I think I'm going to have a little fun with you, Lilo. It's been so long since my last time…but first…I have something to show you." He walked out of the cave, and tossed something in. Lilo gasped in horror. It was Victoria! She's been tied up, and she was unconscious on the floor. Lilo ran over to her and helped her up as best she could. "Victoria? Victoria!" "Don't bother. She's in a deep sleep. Another benefit to darkness. I'll do her in front of you first. Now let go of her." She shook her head. "Fine…then this will get messy." Lilo, still holding onto Victoria, tried to run, but she was petrified with fear of the advancing dragon. All she could do was scream as 561 came closer.

Meanwhile…

Nick pulled his pajama pants up, and brushed some of his hair back with his hand as he faced down Phoon. He had immediately rushed out to go find Phoon and stop her, while Stitch went to rescue Lilo, having caught her and 621's scent. So Nick was left to face down the experiments.

Phoon was normally a little pink elephant in the shape of a football. She had pretty green eyes, a small, stubby tail, and a happy laugh. Now her eyes were huge and frightening, her upper legs and turned into muscular, enormous arms and hands to match, and super huge claws. Her bottom legs had grown big and thick like tree trunks, and she was also pretty fat. Her trunk was now thicker than a pipe used in construction, and she grinned, showing snaggle-toothed fangs. Nick groaned.

"I don't have time to deal with this…I gotta find Lilo!" Phoon responded by grabbing a car and throwing it at him. Nick ducked, and it sailed over his head, hitting the street and exploding. Nick raised his fingers. "Time to shoot an elephant out of season!" He said. "TOXIC BULLET!"

BANG! The purple, toxic energy bullet soared through the air…and Phoon smacked it away. "Okay, then, uh…" Nick took up a pitching position. "Try THIS on for size! BRING THE HEAT!" Nick tossed a fireball…which Phoon blew away with a wind blast from her trunk. Nick was caught in the blast and he sailed through the air, landing with a THUD.

"Ow…good thing the concrete broke my faaalll…OW." He staggered up. "That's it! Now I'm serious! ICICLE UPPERCUT!" Nick slammed his fist into the ground, and icile spikes shot up, racing towards Phoon. Phoon tried to blow them away, but to no avail. They slammed into her, and she went sailing through the air. Nick saw his chance. He ran after her, and when she landed, groaning, he raced up to her, picking her up.

"Take a nap." Nick said, swinging her back and forth. "Rock a bye-baby, on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock…"

Singing the lullaby worked like a charm, and Phoon soon fell asleep, reverting to her normal, cute little self. Gently rocking her, he walked back to the house and laid her down on the porch steps. He knocked on the door, and Nani opened it up.

"Who's ther-Nick, you did it!" "Shhh! She's still asleep. I gotta go stop Tank and the others." He handed Phoon to Nani, and ran off. "Wait! What am I supposed to do?" Nani asked. "I dunno! Sing her a lullaby or two!" Nani looked down at Phoon, who was just waking up. "Okay, uh…sing a lullaby." Nani picked Phoon up, and the little pink elephant squealed in confusion. "Shh…shh…it's alright, it's alright." Nani gently stroked Phoon, and began to sing. "_Aloha oe_…_aloha oe_…"

Meanwhile…

561 chuckled cruelly as the recently-arrived experiments Felix and Amnesio kicked Lilo over and over. Felix was a green-furred experiment with curved ridges jutting from the back of his head, and with dark green claws and a small trunk. Amnesio was a beetle-like experiment with big, dark compound eyes and delicate wings. However, both he and Felix were more than a match for Lilo, who could do nothing but take the punishment they both dealt out. Victoria, who had woken up, was being held tightly onto by 561's tail. She squirmed and shouted at the evil experiments to let Lilo go, but they simply sneered at her.

"Now you now how we've felt…NOT! You haven't even BEGUN to suffer!" Felix snarled. He spat on her. "You're gonna be a long time dyin, Lilo." Amnesio said. Suddenly darkness enveloped them, and they began screaming. Lilo scurried away, frightened. 561 stepped forward, face serious and frightening. "I shall be the one to kill her. Not you. You've had your fun." Felix and Amnesio ran to the other side of the cave, hugging each other and frightened. 561 grinned and stepped forward. "Now…to commence with your beautiful destruction, Lilo." He stretched his wings and dove at her, dropping Victoria who ran for the exit. Lilo ran to the side and 561 collided with the wall of the cave. Lilo grinned, and ran for the exit. "Ha! So long, sucke-"

"And who said YOU could leave?" it was Kixx, the short, muscular purple experiment that Nick had fought so long ago. He cracked his knuckles. "I just love humans. They make good punching bags!" He punched Lilo in the stomach, and she fell down, coughing terribly. 561 walked over to her, grinding his taloned feet into her back. "You're going to scream in agony for hours once I get started on you." He said, in a matter-of-fact way. "Your light shall be extinguished." "Get off of her!" Victoria shouted, rushing at him. "Poor, foolish girl." He leisurely wrapped his strong tail around her and flung her away. She landed hard in the sand and groaned. 561 looked down at Lilo again. "Now, where were we?"

_"MEEGA NALA KWEESTA!"_

Kixx turned around, snarling. 561 looked up, irritated…and a palm tree flattened him, and then a huge boulder flattened Kixx. Stitch ran over to Lilo and helped her up. She stood there for a few moments, coughing and wheezing. "Lilo…" Stitch said, hugging her tightly. "Stitch worried…glad Lilo okay." "Such foolish sentimentality. Now both of you will die here, and nobody will be able to help you…for my darkness shall consume you!" Kixx stood up, cracking his knuckles. "Hold it. I wanna have some fun." Felix and Amneiso walked out. "Us too." "Yeah, we wanna punish them both for letting us get captured!" 561 shrugged. "Very well. Far be it from ME to prevent you from obtaining revenge…go ahead. Fight all you want. But leave Lilo and Victoria alive…for me." Kixx shrugged. "Fine by me. Prepare for a pummeling, losers!"

Meanwhile…

Nick looked up at the huge threat he now faced. It was a huge, orange armadillo, with an armored back, a huge jaw, thick, tree-like legs and a huge nose. This was Tank, a metal eating experiment. His armored back was made of a special type of bone-metal as well, and was extremely hard. Someone had given it a paintjob by the looks of it. It was now red…with an "H" painted on the center region. Hamsterviel. Honestly! Then again, it was a nice touch. The doctor must be trying really hard at being evil, Nick thought.

Tank roared in his face. Nick raised both his hands into the air. "Bring it, you overgrown armadillo! Time to make myself a pair of boots!" Tank roared and rushed towards him. Nick concentrated, feeling the wind between his hands as it swirled and formed into orb shape…

He slammed it into the ground with a shout. "AERO TRAP!" Then jumped away. Tank rushed at him…

THA-WOOOOOSH!

A huge tornado sprung up from the ground, carrying Tank high into the sky. He went around and around and then the tornado vanished, and Tank plummeted to the ground…but Nick was ready. He jumped up, right fist encased in flames. "Try this on for size! SHORYUKEN!" Nick delivered the flaming dragon uppercut to Tank's falling body, and with a THWUDDA sound, Tank went flying, far, far away…towards the beach.

Where it was NOT looking good for Stitch. Felix was firing off lasers from his trunk, Annesio kept dive-bombing Lilo, and Kixx kept on punching Stitch every time he saw an opening, which was often. It looked bad. Finally Kixx executed one of his most devastating techniques. He spun around and around, becoming a huge whirlwind of punches, and he whizzed towards Lilo! Stitch immediately jumped in front…and took a huge volley of spinning punches. A moment later he collasped, groaning. Kixx laughed deeply. "Say goodnight, "cousin"." He sneered.

He raised his fist.

"Noooo!" Lilo shouted, whacking him over the head with a piece of driftwood. Kixx growled and grabbed her, slamming her down. "Stupid girl! You're next, wait your turn!" Lilo grabbed some sand and threw it in his eyes. Kixx screamed and clawed at his eyes while Lilo picked up Stitch. "Stitch, we gotta run!" "Run?" Amnesio said, hovering in the air, laughing cruelly. "How stupid." Felix said, as he stepped forward next to Amnesio, trunk poised to fire. "And where are you going to go?" 561 asked softly, giving Lilo bedroom eyes. Kixx, Amnesio and Felix advanced towards Stitch and Lilo, ready to rip them apart. Victoria staggered up. "No…won't let you…" She stepped forward…then collapsed in the sand. 561 grinned. "Maybe I should start with HER now."

Yeah, it looked bad.

It looked like it would take an ARMY to beat them.

That…or a Tank.

KABOOOOOOOM!

Kixx, Amnesio and Felix all lay under Tank, and all of them were unconscious. 561 gaped at the sight. Victoria immediately woke up and gazed at the sight.

It was like something from out of science fiction.

"Wow, an experiment fell from the sky." Lilo said. "That was convenient." Victoria said. "Convenient is good. Yeah…it's good." Stitch and Lilo slapped hands. "Hit me high!" Slap. "Hit me low!" Whoosh!" "Too slow." Stitch smiled. 561 rolled his eyes. "If you want something done right…do it yourself." "Back off, freak-a-leek! BRING THE HEAT!"

A fireball suddenly slammed into 561, sending him flying into the water. Nick grinned, and stepped off of the street, onto the beach. "Hey guys. I guess everything is cool?" Stitch and Lilo ran to him, hugging him. "I missed you guys too." Nick said warmly, walking over to Victoria and untying her. "I was so worried, Lilo. And Victoria, I'm glad you're okay. We should get you home. Oh, I got a new power, too. A cool grey aura flared up when I touched down after knocking away Tank…" "I'm just glad you're okay." "Ih. Stitch happy Nick oketaka." "Good thing you're alright, Nick." "I'm kinda glad I'M alright too, heh-heh." "Hey Nick, you beat Tank and Phoon, right?" "Yep." 'Well…where's Gantu and 625? And 627?" "Yeah…funny that we haven't seen either of them…" "Nick, maybe you'd better head home and check on Nani, Jumba and Pleakley."

The four of them walked back onto the street, headed for town. Nick looked at Lilo. "Lilo, I gotta tell you somethin-"

"HEY! _HAOLE_!"

It was Keoni! Nick gulped. What on earth did Keoni Jameson want now? The red-headed surfer boy approached Nick angrily, fuming. "You've got some nerve, lying jerk! You stupid _haole_, because of you…why…why I oughta…"

"What is your **problem**, man? And I am NOT A LIAR!" Nick shouted. Keoni drew back, momentarily scared, but then suddenly rushed forward, grabbing Nick. "You're putting her in danger with your stupid heroics, _haole_! Leave her OUTTA this!" Keoni shouted, throwing Nick down and storming off. Nick rubbed his butt and stood up. "Lilo, do you think I'm…well…getting you in danger?" "No." Lilo said. "I kinda LIKE all this adventure…sorta. Kinda." "Yeah, I know what you mean. So maybe we should-"

Suddenly Nick realized that it had gotten dark. Very dark. "What's going on?" Nick thought. Suddenly he saw what was causing it. He tapped Lilo on the shoulder. "Uh, Lilo? I think I know a good name for 561." "What?" Lilo asked, looking at Nick. Nick pointed at the sky. 561 was in the air, wings spread, head thrown back, laughing evilly. His dark aura was spreading across the sky, covering all, from the clouds to the birds to the sun. "Eclipse." Nick said.

Stitch's ears suddenly perked up, and he felt a chill. He could hear screams and shouts from the town. People were panicking, running as fast as they could to go somewhere, ANYWHERE. It was utter chaos. Stitch muttered something Nick didn't understand. "What was that?" "He said that this is horrible. He said that this is just plain evil." Victoria nodded slowly. "He's right. I thought things had been bad before but…"

"This is very bad." Lilo said. "Kokaua Town just became Suck City, USA." Nick said. "Ih." Stitch said. "This…this is bad. Yeah…it's very bad."


	26. The End of the Beginning, Pt2

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

THE END OF THE BEGINNING, PT. 2

**So he will do it. **

**He wanted to turn after all...but not in the way I had hoped. Alas. **

**In any case, he was happy to talk to me. He says he has a plan. He wants me to trust him. **

**So I will trust him. **

**There is something else I must do. **

**The town I have grown to call home is under attack. My parallel has risen to make sure the Earth falls. I must stop him before he hurts innocents. Worse still, the darkest beings on the island are making their move. My family, my ohana…is in danger.**

**I must protect them. At all costs. **

**The darkness is something that can ALWAYS be halted and forced back! **

Cobra Bubbles was glued to the radio, listening intently.

"Everyone, the worst has happened! THEY'RE HERE…AGAIN! They're blockin' out the sun to make everyone freeze to death, and when THAT'S done, they're gonna go after the women!"

"Hide the women!"

"Amen, Dude."

Cobra gulped. He hoped that the Pelekai household was alright…

Nick looked at Victoria. "Victoria, we're gonna need Snooty's help. Go find him. Quick." Victoria nodded, and ran off. Nick turned to Lilo and Stitch. "Guys, you can handle 561 right? Until I get back with Jumba?" "I guess so…" "Ih." "Well good luck. Time is precious. I've gotta go find Jumba. If he can't help me, nobody can."

Nick took off running, heading around the crowd, making his way towards Lilo's house. "Please be there, please be there, please be there…"

He ran up to the door and pulled it open. "Jumba! 561 is…" "I know." Jumba said, dressed in his lab coat and holding something in a box. He wiped his brow free of sweat and pulled out some metallic boots from the box. Nick took them in his hands and blinked. "Uh…what are they?" "Jet boots." He said proudly. "Since experiment 421…" "Heartwing." "Right. Since he is going off to having fightings with evil 561, I am thinking you might be needing teensy bit of help from myself. This will enable you to fight on same level as they can...same level being stratosphere, heh-heh."

"Hey Jumba, does Hamsterviel have a brother named Rupert?"

Inside, Jumba's insides turned to ice.

"Rupert? Uh-um…er…no! No, old partner has no brother. At all. No siblings whatsoever. Now go put those jet boots on and testing them…" Nick immediately put them on, and went soaring through a window.

CRASH!

"OUTSIDE! TESTING **OUTSIDE**!"

Back in town, 561 cackled madly. "YES! Yes, glorious darkness, spreading everywhere, permeating every single nook and cranny! No light can escape from ME!"

BAM! He suddenly spun around and around and fell to the ground, landing hard on a rock. 561 slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his extremely sore head. Heartwing was glaring down at him, pointing a claw right at him as the white dragon hovered in the air above.

"Cousin…you won't hurt anyone! Stop this!"

561 sneered. "Ah, my polar opposite. So come then. Let us commence with your delicious destruction and absorption into my darkness."

Heartwing's eyes blazed defiantly. "Darkness won't win." He growled.

"PROVE IT." snarled 561, who rushed at Heartwing. The two clashed in the air, and tumbled down to the ground, were they stayed, biting and clawing each other, rolling along the road. Meanwhile, Stitch and Lilo were walking along the road, heading to check in on Victoria…only to run into Keoni Jameson.

"Lilo, I can't believe I have to say this to you, but stay away from Victoria!" "Huh?" "You and your stupid _haole_ friend Nick are putting her in a lot of danger! Can't you see that?"

Suddenly Lilo understood. Keoni loved Victoria.

"You like her, don't you?" She asked quietly.

Keoni turned red.

"It doesn't matter. She's just a girl, and you're putting her life at risk with your dumb world-saving stuff! Quit it!"

"We're doing all we can to make sure she's safe! She's part of our _ohana_!"

"She's MY _ohana_ too!" Keoni shouted, stamping his foot, eyes getting teary.

"I…I love her…and if she gets hurt because of something you guys did, I could never…I couldn't, I just…just…"

Suddenly Keoni turned around and saw the locked-in-deathgrips ball form of 561 and Heartwing, as they rolled down the street, snarling and growling, spit and blood flying off in droplets from their forms.

"Run." Lilo suggested.

"Hide." Stitch added.

"Good idea." Keoni said, and they all ducked into an alley.

561 and Heartwing took to the air. They stared at each other and then each emitted their respective aura, one white…one black.

They rushed at each other, two forces of nature, making it look as though the universe was unfolding as their respective auras clashed.

This way, that way, twisting, turning, neither side was giving in as both 561 and Heartwing pushed against each other, trying to knock the other one down. The aura's rose up, coming down at each other like two waves meeting in an ocean. They lashed out like lighting in a storm, and just slammed together like two fists being brought together. Light and dark. Good and evil.

Something had to give.

Something had to give.

Something…

_"WOOOOAAAAHHHAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!"_

Suddenly Nick shot through the air, zooming past them both. 561 turned his head, just for a split second…

It was enough.

Suddenly a large KRACKOW noise was heard. Lilo poked her head out.

561 had been knocked flat and had fallen right onto a street lamp. He was dazed. Heartwing flew down, picked him up, and then gave him a head-butt that knocked him unconscious, turning to Lilo with a thumbs up. "Okay, it's safe to come out." Lilo said. All three of them walked over to Heartwing, who sighed and sat down on his rump, tired. He'd gotten really lucky.

Keoni decided to leave, and headed for home. "I guess I'll see you guys later…" he called out, turning onto a different street and vanishing from sight. Lilo waved goodbye with Stitch and Heartwing. "Let's go find find Gantu and 625. They might be in trouble." "Ih."

Meanwhile, Nick (who had finally gotten the boots under control) was flying over the town, looking around for 621. He was currently flying over the beach when he saw him.

There, on a cliff, back to the Destiny Crystal, was 621.

Nick sighed. He had a bad feeling this was gonna get ugly.

Lilo, Stitch and Heartwing all walked together, heading for the beach to look for Gantu and 625. The beach had become the twosome's favorite hang-out as of late. "I hope they're doing okay…" Lilo thought. "Ih." Stitch said. Heartwing nodded. They walked down the road, and in a few minutes were within 100 feet of the beach. Suddenly Heartwing and Stitch stiffened. They both growled. "What is it?" Lilo asked. Stitch ran forward, with Heartwing right behind. Lilo followed after them, calling their names.

"Wait, guys! Wait! What are you…"

Then she saw.

625 was tied up, groaning, bruised all over. Gantu had claw marks all over his back, and he'd been stripped to his boxers. Pink heart boxers. It would have been funny if not for the fact that it was horrific. Blood oozed from the wounds. They both groaned, as 627, triumphant, stood looking down at Gantu.

"Betcha wish you were still on OUR side, huh?"

"…uh…uh…"

"What? Now what are you whining about?"

"Abomination!"

SMACK! 627 smacked Gantu across his face. "Shut up! I'M in charge now, loser!" "Cousin naga hurt him! Big dummy or naga!" 627 turned to his left, sneering. "Hello…CUZ. Well, what are you waiting for?" He held out his hand in the "Bring it" gesture. Stitch snarled and leapt at him…

Nick stood facing 621.

"So it's come to this, Nick."

"I wish it didn't have to, 621."

"You know, deep down, that there wasn't going to be any other result. I'm evil, you're good, so we gotta fight."

"The "Cats and Dogs" argument?"

"It sucks, true." 621 said, nodding. "But sometimes that's just the way things are. Let's go."

621 leapt at Nick, growling. Nick reacted quickly, jumping on his hands and spinning around, over and over…

"METAL DANCE!"

Suddenly Nick's hands and feet became encased in a strange kind of metal…and 621 was headed right for him. 621 tried to shift his weight in midair, but too late! THWUMPA-TWHUMPA-TWHUMPA! 621 fell to the ground, groaning, spitting out some blood. He had VERY nasty bruises on his chest now. Nick stood back up, dusting himself off. Tank's gift had been very useful.

"621, stop it. I don't wanna hurt you."

"Don't be stupid!" 621 snarled, jumping on Nick and punching him in the face over and over. "This is our DESTINY! We were meant to fight, idiot!" Nick shoved him off. "What the heck are you talking about?" He asked. "THIS!" 621 pointed at the crystal. "It shows the future, Nick. And I heard…things. Things that have come true. And I know we were meant to fight. In my heart, I know it to be true." "Your heart is a little bit messed up, 621."

Nick raised his fist, which glowed with a fiery aura. "And I'm sick and tired of people saying that "everything is fated to happen"! BRING THE HEAT!" He shot a fireball at the crystal, blowing it off of the cliff, much to 621's shock. "What the…why did you do that?" "Now NOBODY can ever use it for evil." "Noble. But time to die!" 621 jumped at him, claws extended. They both went down, tossing and turning, punching, kicking, and in 621's case…

"YOOOOWWW! You BIT me! You little son of a…gun!"

Nick shoved him off, nursing his hand. "Man, why can't I fracking beat him?" Nick thought.

"Because I'm special." 621 said, chuckling. "Interesting. "Fracking", huh? A diet swear?" Nick stiffened. "You…you can read my mind? So the evil doctor's upgrades…" "Yes. Gave me the ability to read minds. Nice, huh?" "Oh boy." "Oh boy is RIGHT!"

Nick jumped to the side, avoiding a slash attack. He slammed his fist down, yelling "ICICLE UPPERCUT!" and causing icicle spikes to shoot up from the ground, towards 621…who simply jumped to the side. Nick gulped. "Aw, great! What am I gonna do?" He thought.

"Give up, duh." 621 said. "You're not going to win against me!" Nick shook his head. "It explains a lot. How you managed to find us time and time again, how you seem to know what everyone's gonna do, how you always seem so…SURE of yourself…but I can still win!" "How?" 621 asked, puzzled. Nick suddenly rushed forward, and the two were now rolling around, punching and kicking again.

"It's time to stop fighting with my head…and start fighting with my HEART!" Nick shouted, giving 621 the headbutt of his life. THWOCK! 621 groaned and spat out blood, and grinned. "Nice, Nick. I should have seen this coming! But no matter! I'll still beat you!" 621 suddenly kicked Nick off and stepped back…

But he was right at the edge of the cliff.

Suddenly his arms were pin-wheeling as he began to shake with fear, he was falling back, into the sea, where he would drown. "NO! **NO!** I don't wanna **die**!" He screamed inside his mind. But all rational thought had gone out of his head. He was going to die. His feet slipped, and he fell…

Nick grabbed his hand. 621 looked up, surprised.

"But…why?"

"I owed you a handshake." Nick said simply.

621 blinked slowly, then his eyes widened. Nick gave him the same big smile he'd given him years ago.

A few minutes later, they were sitting on the cliff edge, looking out at the beautiful ocean. "It's nice. Very nice, isn't it?" "Yes, it is." "I really love living here. Maybe I'll retire here someday, after I'm done teaching." "You wanna be a teacher, Nick?" "Yep!" "Hmm…a worthy profession. The world needs more teachers. The universe does too." "Thanks." "You know…I'm still gonna be your enemy tomorrow, and the day after that, until I get my revenge on Stitch and my father." "I kinda had a feeling you'd say that, but…" "But what?" "Well…I'll tell you when we meet up with everyone else. Come on. Let's go."

Meanwhile, Stitch wasn't doing so hot. He was pinned up against a wall by 627's telekinesis, while the evil jerk laughed his head off. "You're such a pathetic loser! I can't believe I ever lost to you at all!" "Stupidhead!" Stitch snarled. BAM! A garbage can flew into Stitch's face, and he groaned as it rammed him over and over. 627 sneered. "Boy, having these powers not only makes me stronger than you and superior in every way…it makes me cooler than you too!" "It doesn't make you any smarter!" Lilo shouted. She and everyone else had been tied up and rudely stuffed into a dumpster.

"Shut up, or I'll throw your dumpster into the compactor a few blocks down!" 627 shouted. He turned back to Stitch. "Now…where were we? Oh, yeah. I was about to break your stinking neck!"

"Hey! Short, dumb and ugly!" 627 looked up. It was 625, all arms out, grinning, falling down towards him. "Break THIS!"

THUDDOW! Experiment collided with experiment and 627 was flattened by 625, who proceeded to punch 627 over and over and over, while Lilo, Stitch and the others cheered him on. Finally he hopped off and dusted himself off. 627 groaned. He had two black eyes, bruises all over, and some of his chest hair had been pulled off. "And that's the way the mayo spreads!" 625 said, grinning. He helped everyone out of the dumpster. Lilo hugged him and he didn't mind one bit…even though she smelled really bad.

"_Mahalo_ plenty, cousin!" Stitch said happily. 625 smiled faintly, then sighed and walked over to a bench, with Gantu. The two looked preoccupied. "Something wrong?" Lilo asked. "561 and 627 aren't causing any more trouble…oh wait, what about-" "Aloha, Lilo!" Nick said. He walked towards them, 621 right next to him. "I won. And 621 says that Gantu and 625 and have something they needed to say to you guys. Something kinda big." "What's that?" Lilo asked.

Gantu sighed, and looked up at the sky, which was now clear and sunny. "I wish I could spend my entire life surfing, and relaxing on the beach. I've had a lot of fun recently, but…well…I just cannot support the lifestyle I want. The fact is…I'm broke! Both of us are. So…" 625 finished. "So we're gonna hafta leave you guys. We're going back to work for Hamsterviel. Everything's basically going to go back to normal."

Lilo didn't say anything, she just stared. Nick looked confused, like someone had just broken his favorite toy and he didn't know why. "But…I thought that…" "Kid, it's been REALLY great hangin' with all of ya, but…well…guys have to eat. We can't keep scrounging around for cash. We're choosing a life of routine and security over one of poverty and excitement, basically." "So you're going back to work for that dumb bunny?"

"Yes, they are." 621 said. "And I'm returning as well, along with 627 and 561. And I advise you not to stop me, brother." Stitch looked utterly saddened. His ears hung low, and he closed his eyes, nodding slowly. "Oketaka. Stitch…naga go after brother." Lilo nodded as well, as did Heartwing, who refused to look at 621, 625 or Gantu.

Nick remained silent as 625 lugged 627 over his shoulder, and Gantu held up 561, who was locked in a containment capsule. 621 nodded and they all started walking off. Then Nick called out.

"Hey…"

They turned their heads.

"621? About what I was gonna say to you earlier, that thing I wanted to say here?" "Yeah?" "It's for your ears as well." Nick said, gesturing to Gantu and 625. "Look, if you wanna work for Hamsterviel, I'm gonna be sad, because that means we'll all be enemies again. I think what you're doing is selfish, but I'll...well, I'll go along with it if it really makes you happy."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "But maybe…you know…when we're not all chasing after experiments or shooting at each other…maybe we can go out for ice cream at the beach or something? My treat?"

621 smiled. "Yeah, all right."

Gantu shrugged. "Why not?"

625 sighed. "Sure thing…kid." He winked at Nick, who smiled back.

The three of them walked off, and Nick turned to Lilo, Stitch and Heartwing. "Guys…how about we head home? I'm tired." "Me too." Lilo said. "Ditto." Stitch added. Heartwing nodded, watching as 621, 625 and Gantu walked down the road back to Gantu's ship.

A few minutes later, our heroes walked home. Lilo patted Nick on the back.

"Someday it'll all work out." She said.

"Ih." Stitch said, nodding enthusiastically. Heartwing did the same.

Nick sighed unhappily. Then he looked to the left and saw something...

A monarch butterfly.

It flapped by them, crossing their path, flying over the trees and into the sky.

"Yeah, it'll work out." Nick said, smiling happily.

"I can just feel it in my heart, you know?..."


	27. Ace

**Quick Author's Note:**

**Admit it...you were suprised that Keoni loved Victoria. I just thought that would make a nice, interesting twist. What do you think? **

**Anyway, on with the series!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

ACE

The sky was blue, the clouds were white, the grass was green and life was all right…at least for Nicholas Michael Grey. He sat on the grass, thinking a little. School would start up again, but then, in just two weeks…summer!

So, in the meantime, he'd asked Lilo to teach him some Hawaiian, and he was learning. To practice, he sang a lot of Hawaiian songs, like…

_Aloha oe… aloha oe…  
E ke onaona noho i ka liiiipo!  
One fond embrace,  
A hoi ae au…  
Untill…we meeeeet…agaaaaiiiiin! _

The song was oddly hypnotic. Nick began to feel tired, and decided to take a little nap, letting the wind carry him away…

Meanwhile, not very far away, in a familiar spaceship…

"Ha! Blackjack!"

"Aw, blitznack! You're getting GOOD at this, old buddy!"

"I know, I know."

Gantu and 625 were playing cards for fun, and Gantu was turning out to be pretty good at Blackjack. He STILL stunk at 5-Card Draw, though.

"I'm getting a little tired of playing cards…let's see what's on TV."

"Good idea!" 625 hopped off his chair and walked over to the remote, picking it off the floor and flicking the TV on, going through the channels. A few moments later…

"Oh, look! Monty Python!"

"I want to take a closer look…SNIFF…at one of my favorite film directors. SNIFF. Sam Peckinpah, the ex-patriot…SNIFF!"

"That is, uh…Eric Idle, correct?"

"Yep."

"Why is he sniffling?"

"You'll find out."

Then, a split second later…

"Experiment 262 Activated."

Gantu and 625 turned their heads toward the experiment computer. "Primary function…error. No evil function."

"No evil function?"

"Oh…oh! Oh yeah! I remember 262! He wasn't evil at all! In fact, he was REALLY good. Kinda like a superhero!"

Gantu rubbed his chin. "Oh really?" Suddenly he stopped. "Wait…if he has no evil purpose, then…"

"Then Hammy ain't gonna want him." 625 finished. "Now, let's get back to watching the "Salad Days" skit."

The two sat down in bean bag chairs and watched the skit, which started out wholesome…

"I say! Anyone for tennis?"

"Oh, super!"

"What fun!"

"I say, Lionel, catch!"

Then it got VERY bloody.

"Ouuugghhh!"

"Oh, CRIKEY!"

"AAAA!"

625 and Gantu couldn't stop laughing. What happened in the "studio" on the TV right AFTER the skit didn't help either.

"Pretty strong stuff there from-SNIFF-Sam Peckinpah? SNIFF-"

RATTA-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA!"

"WOOP! HA-HA-HA-HA!"

621 was outside, sneaking off to a secluded little pond, in the middle of a clearing a long way off from the ship. He pulled out a small notebook which he had been stolen from Hamsterviel's ship and opened it up.

There, written in the binding, were the words "Dream Diary of Jacques von Hamsterviel." 621 turned the page. There, scribbled down quickly, were the words "I had the dream again. I'm with Jumba, outside E.G.O HQ, talking about Rahry. He wants me to remember. I want to forget. We start yelling. Then someone taps me on the shoulder…and it's HIM. He hates me now. He begins to hit me…he picks up a rock…I wake up. I keep having the dream, knowing only when I am awake that the rock's never going to hit me…but always feeling it will in the dream. I'm getting very scared…"

621 scoffed. "The great Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, wetting the bed because of a stupid dream. Pfft! What a loser." He turned the page.

"Different dream, same horrible feeling when I wake up. They're ALL yelling at me. Blaming me. They always hated me. They're always betraying me! I'll never trust again! EVER!"

621 raised an eyebrow. "Who know bunny's came with baggage?"

"I didn't know that someone's diary made for good reading." 561 said, appearing from a shadowy underbrush. "In any case, is it interesting?"

"Hmm…the doc's got major issues." 621 turned the page just as 627 came into the clearing. "Why are you reading that furry loser's DIARY? It's a stupid waste of paper." "Well listen to THIS." 621 cleared his throat and began reading the last entry.

"I'm worried. I heard that E.G.O's Grand Scion is coming to visit Jumba. I KNOW he's always wanted Jumba to be his Grand Successor. How am I going to convince the Grand Scion that Jumba's gone soft?"

"Hmm…so the Grand Scion is coming?"

"Grand what?"

621 sighed. "Okay, let's head back to the ship, 627, and I'll explain to you how E.G.O's hierarchy works…"

Meanwhile, Nick was going to get some ice cream with Lilo and Stitch, planning to meet up with Heartwing, Angel, Victoria and Snooty later on. "One banana split please." Lilo said. "One Cotton-Candy ice cream cone, please. Regular size. Oh, and with Bubble Gum pieces. And make it in a chocolate chip cone" "Stitch want Coconut." Stitch said, pointing at a waffle cone.

They sat down on a bench, and Nick licked his ice cream a few times before he took a bite. "Mmm…MMM. I LOVE this flavor. AND the bubble gum pieces." "Yeah, I love it too, but banana splits are even better! Wanna try some of mine?" "Nah, I don't like banana splits." "Aw, come on!" "Oh, all right. Just a little taste."

Nick told Stitch to hold the ice cream. Then he borrowed Lilo's spoon and took a piece of the banana split. A few moments later…

"Hmm…tastes…different. I dunno."

Nick turned to get his ice cream cone back and found…

"Stitch. Did you eat my ice cream cone?"

Stitch, who had bubble gum pieces, cotton candy ice cream AND shreds of chocolate chip cone on his mouth, shook his head. "Naga." He said, spitting out bits of ice cream from his mouth and getting some on Nick's nice "Spring Break" t-shirt.

Nick groaned, hanging his head while Lilo tried to keep from laughing. "Aw, maaaaan!"

"Meega sota." "I SO gotta learn Galactic." Nick said. "Then I'll be able to swear in FIVE different languages!" "Well Stitch's version of Galactic is actually a solar system-style vernacular that's a little bit different from true Galactic." "So it's a vernacular and not the real thing. What's the difference?" "I'm not completely sure, but I think that real Galactic doesn't have as many swear words."

"Ohhhh. So then what are Stitch and the other cousins speaking if it's not regular Galactic?" "Jumba says it's called the Tantalog vernacular." "Tantalus?" "TantaLOG." "Weird name." "How many languages can you swear in?" "English, Spanish, Latin and English-English." "English-English?" "You know. Like, uh…"it's not dandy to have a kipper in the rain if it's with a great sodding wanker who's all sixes and sevens." Get it?" "Ohhhh. Can you teach me some latin swears?" "Not until you turn 12. That's when I first used the F word thanks to my bro-"

"Somebody save my baby!"

Nick looked up immediately. A baby carriage had rolled into the road, and a woman was rushing towards it…but she'd never get there in time, because a car was zooming right down the road! Nick jumped up, ready to run over and save the kid…

But he never got a chance.

Suddenly a red form jumped over the bench, over Nick's head, and ran into the road, scooping up the baby from the carriage and then jumping out of the path of the car. The carriage was totaled, but the baby was perfectly fine. The red form walked over to the woman and handed her the baby, grinning and showing a pair of dazzling pearly whites.

"Cousin!" Stitch said. "Yeah, but it looks like he's a nice one!" Lilo said. "He's a superhero?" Nick asked, confused. Where had he seen that thing before?...oh, yeah! Thank you, Wikipedia!

"Yeah, that guy is 262." Nick said. "He's got no evil function, so he's a good guy." Lilo and Stitch walked over with Nick to 262, who grinned at them. He had a muscular, yellow chest that looked sort of like an insignia of some kind. He had small antennae, with yellow tips, and white gloved hands. He also had crescent strips on his knees, and a white chin. And of course, dazzling pearly whites.

"Nice teeth." Lilo said. "Ih." agreed Stitch. 262 bowed respectfully. Then a shriek came from across the street. Everyone looked up to see a man holding a gun on a woman. "Your money or your…well, you know…" The woman held onto her purse like it was her lifeline, and her brown eyes were bulging. Nick stepped forward, cracking his knuckles.

"I'll take care of-"

WHOOSH! Through the air 262 went! The thief looked up. "What the-?"

Ace landed right in front of him, grabbing the gun. Then, in front of everyone, he bent and twisted it into a dumbbell, which he used to do some pinky muscle-lifting. The thief stood, dumbfounded, before he decided to run…

Bad idea. Suddenly two MORE muscular arms shot out from Ace's body, and the one closet to the thief grabbed him, tossing him into the air. The thief hollered as he fell…but Ace caught him with his other arm, one hand still doing pinky muscle-building with the makeshift dumbbell.

"Wow." Lilo said.

"Oooooh!" Stitch said, completely transfixed by the amazing abilities of 262. Nick smiled…

But somewhere, deep inside him, was a single thought:

_Big deal._

Back at the house, 262 was helping Nani carry in groceries. Pleakley was ecstatic to hear about an experiment that wasn't "a little monster", and Jumba? Well…

Jumba was being Jumba.

"Experiment 262. Ah yes. I am remembering him. Original "evil" formula got mixed up. Substituted variant "X" for variant "A", added too much of this, too little of that, and when I threw the switch to make him be, what should happen? Power surge! Should have realized it then, but nooooo, went ahead and made him and what am I having, what-am-I-having?"

"Uh…" Nick was just sitting there at the table, listening to Jumba, who poked him in the chest with a tubby finger.

"I am TELLING you what I am having! I am having GOOD experiment. Useless for evil purposes. At that time I was basically rookie in the eyes of E.G.O, the Evil Genius Organization. I didn't want to show 262 off…he would embarrass me! I wanted experiment to rip people's clothes off, not help them into chairs!"

"Okay, okay, stop poking me! Sheesh. Well he's here anyhow." "Yep! And we need to find Ace's one true place." "Are calling him WHAT?" "Ace. Since he's a real ace at saving people and doing good!" "Yeah, it's perfect." Nick said.

_Whatever. _He really thought.

Nani walked in with the last of the groceries. She placed some frozen meat in the kitchen sink. "Now I gotta defrost this mea-"

Ace jumped up onto the counter. "Hey, get-oh!" Ace breathed on the ice, and it slowly melted away into the sink, swirling away. "262 has strength and extra arms like that of 626, warm breath that can melt ice and dazzling pearly whites." "So he IS a superhero." Nick grumbled.

_How can I compete with HIM? He even looks CUTE!_

Ace smiled dazzlingly at Nani, who breathed a sigh of relief. "Well that's one headache outta the way. I'll start making up some meatballs!"

THE NEXT DAY…

"Hey everyone! It's time for Dude's Denouncement, where my main man Dude gives you the lowdown on who's lowest of the low! Go ahead, Dude."

"Thanks man. Ah-hem. Like, that guy? Dick Cheney? He sure like, is really mean. He's like…the…um…the emperor guy from Star Wars, man. He could shoot lightning if he wanted to."

Nick groaned and gave the paper to Nani, rolling his eyes.

Guess who was on the front page?

"Wow. Even in a photograph he's got dazzling teeth."

"DON'T tell me about it." Nick groaned. "Where's Lilo?"

"She left early. Said she had to go find Ace's one true place."

_As long as it's far away from here, I don't care where his one true place is._

Nick poured some apple juice. "Yeah, I'd better go see what they've got in mind. As long as it's-"

He stopped. Oh no. No way. He was gonna keep those nasty thoughts to himself. No reason to let them get outta his head.

He finished his breakfast and then headed out the door, rubbing his head. MAN, he had a headache. For some reason, the song "Everything Sucks" came to mind. He squashed the thought and rubbed his head again.

Unfortunately, he couldn't stop his WATCH from playing the song.

_I know… everything sucks, yeah! I know…everything sucks, wo-oah! I know…everything sucks and…this is gonna be the last time you hear me complain! _

Nick pressed the "Stop" button immediately and rubbed his head. "Ugh…fracking watch."

As it were, someone else was rubbing his head right now. Jumba. Because he'd received an e-mail from E.G.O's Grand Scion last night.

"I heard about trial and that you're on Earth. Can't wait to see you, am planning on arriving tomorrow, at noon. I know this is a nasty surprise, but that's the point, LOL. CU soon."

When the fat evil genius had read this, he'd walked calmly over to the wall, taken a deep breath, and had begun banging his head against it, ignoring that he was making cracks. This was bad. REALLY bad. He'd gotten soft! His evil experiments were doing good, not bad! And with 262 now activated…

Jumba rubbed his head. He had to think of something. FAST.

You see, Jumba wanted to stay in E.G.O.

Not only because he got discounts off of high-tech weaponry and computers when he visited "Weapons R'Us" and "Big Boba's Ballistics Bunker" (websites included), but also because it gave him a sense of…belonging.

He hadn't belonged too well in school. Only until he'd gotten into Evil Genius University, with Hamsterviel, had he felt like he was truly accepted. And when he'd gotten into E.G.O…well, he'd been on Cloud Nine! In fact he'd risen through the ranks quite quickly and he had gotten a plaque and everything! It read "Jumba Jookiba, Certified Evil Genius and E.G.O Grand Master."

Being a Grand Master of E.G.O was an honor.

He didn't want to give it all up just because of his current situation. Not after all he'd been through.

Then again…

NO! Think EVIL. Think up an evil plan, and FAST!

Meanwhile, Nick was thinking something evil too…

_That Ace is such a…such a…fracking SHOWOFF!  
_

Nick had only been in town for half an hour, and Ace had successfully saved a kitten from a tree, a Chinese restaurant from burning down (The owner blamed the cooking oil, but it turned out to be attempted arson) and had saved an old lady from being hit by a bus.

The tainted fruit now as "sour grapes" had sprung up inside him.

Now Ace was sitting on a bench, talking with Stitch in Galactic while Lilo listened, laughing occasionally at a joke Ace cracked.

"Lousy no-good friend stealer." He thought. "You wouldn't last five minutes against…621 and…"

Nick was outta there in seconds.

At Gantu's ship, 621 scratched his head, and then shook it in refusal. 627 was picking his nose with his tongue and 561 was watching, smirking silently, in a way that freaked Nick out inside.

"No way. WHY would we want to help you?"

"Come ON! Pleeeaaase?"

"Well? _Why_ would we want to help you?"

"Hamsterviel wants ALL the experiments, right?"

"Right."

"Evil function or not, Ace is pretty dang tough."

"Right."

"So Ace is gonna be a real pain in the butt unless you get him on YOUR side. A little capture jar here, some brainwashing there…BANG! He's your new best friend." 621 nodded grudgingly. "Okay, but why do YOU want him gone?" "…I'd rather not say." "I know…you're jealous." 621 said, smiling a little. "You've partaken of the fruit that is sour grapes." 561 said. "Yeah, you want Ace outta the way so YOU can be number one, right? Humans are really so selfish.' 627 said, licking his lips.

Nick held up his fist. "You wanna-" 627 smirked. "Don't worry. We'll capture him. Not because you asked us to, though. I just want a new punching bag." "I would like a fresh heart to corrupt." "And I'm just bored." 621 said, brushing back his Mohawk. "Well, go ahead, tell us…where is he?" "In town. Talking with Lilo and Stitch. They're looking for his one true place." "Naturally. Okay, I have a plan. It's simple…but first, you're gonna need and extra-strong container for Ace."

"Good point. Hey Gantu, where do we keep the extra-strong, heavy duty container capsules?"

"Under the sink."

"Okay, now here's the plan…"

Back in town…

"Wow." Lilo said. Ace had just saved someone from falling off a building, whose rooftop he was cleaning. The man eagerly shook Ace's hand, who grinned and showed off the pearly whites. From the roof opposite, 621, 627 and 561 were crouching down. 627 had a jar in his clawed hands, 561 was ready to knock Ace off the roof, and 621 would shoot him with his capture-capsule gun when Ace fell. And if THAT didn't work, well…

There was always Plan B.

"Ready?" "Ready." "Let us begin."

Ace was about to turn to look down at Lilo when something black rushed towards him through the air, shoving him hard. He fell down, down…

PHOOMP!

A net covered him. He landed hard on the ground, and then felt someone grab him and stuff him into something, a capsule. 627 cackled. "Gotcha, "cousin"! Ha-ha-ha!" Lilo gasped. Stitch jumped to his feet, claws out, extra arms extended. A man reading a newspaper across the street looked up from the newspaper, then "hmmed" and went back to reading.

"Stitch naga let-" "Oh yes you will."

They looked up to see 561 was holding Nick by his neck on top of a roof. "Try to stop us, and the boy dies." "Hi, guys." Nick said, looking VERY embarrassed. "I was trying to surprise you, and…well…I guess I surprised you, heh…"

Lilo bit her lip. She didn't want Nick to get hurt, but to let Ace get captured was bad too. The man reading the newspaper rolled his eyes and kept reading.

Meanwhile, Jumba had cooked up a very dastardly plan, and he was already walking down the street, right towards where all the action was. He had a huge ray gun in his hands, and a pack strapped to his back, containing various evil devices. The ray gun was a polarity reverser, whipped up as fast as possible, which converted good experiments to bad for two hours time, plenty of time for Jumba to impress the E.G.O Grand Scion.

Jumba also had on a wig. One with typical "evil genius scientist" hair, white and spiky. He liked the wig a lot. He wore it on Halloween when he gave out tasty candy…which made the little kids of the neighborhood start itching, burping, or changing colors uncontrollably.

So it wasn't the best of plans, but Jumba didn't think to well under pressure, and BOY was he under pressure.

So naturally, when he stepped into the scene of Ace being captured and Nick being in danger, his careful-as-could-be plans kinda went out the window.

"What the?" He said.

At that moment, the man with the newspaper stood up, throwing the newspaper away and walking over to Jumba. "Jumba! I'm so impressed! It's amazing, simply amazing!"

"Huh?" Lilo said. "What the heck?" Nick said. "Who the Billy Shears are you?"

The man pulled off his face, revealing…a yellow, elongated head, with whiskers, light brown stripes on his forehead, and black eyes, as well as prominent fangs. He pulled off all the rest of his clothes, revealing an impressive-looking dark red and blue rope. Then he pulled off his "hands", which were really gloves, revealing two three-fingered yellow hands that were clawed.

"Grand Scion!" Jumba bowed.

"Grand Scion?" Lilo said, blinking stupidly. Stitch tilted his head, confused.

"Shh! Is head of Evil Genius Organization, of which I am Grand Master…I hope."

"Of COURSE you're still a Grand Master. I mean look at your experiments! Very evil stuff, especially that 561 up there. Still deadly as ever."

561 raised an eyebrow, skeptical…but inwardly smiling.

"Jumba, you're DEFINITELY worthy of being my successor when I retire…or when I die. I thought you'd gone soft, can you believe that?" Jumba laughed nervously.

"Heh-heh…of course I have not been going soft! Do not be silly, heh-heh…"

"Gaba ika tasoopa?" Stitch said to Lilo. "I don't know." She said. "I'm just as confused as you."

Nick was feeling a little bit confused. Okay, so the boss of E.G.O was here, giving Jumba a review, Lilo and Stitch were here, trying to sort things out, and then HE was here, trying to get Ace captured…

Suddenly Nick felt something inside him say something.

The whiny, hateful voice was replaced with a more innocent voice…

"I thought you LIKED Lilo and Stitch."

Huh? He thought. Of course I do!

"But you're hurting them by putting yourself in danger. They care about you! You're making them worry! You're being a selfish meany, and you're hurting people!"

I…

"I thought you cared about doing good. Well DO good!"

You're right…you're RIGHT…

The Grand Scion patted Jumba on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Jumba. Now, uh…how about you waste that little girl over there, huh? Make it gory." "Do what?" Jumba asked, taking in a sharp breath. "Come on, don't tell me you're STILL nervous when it comes to getting your hands dirty. Come on, for fun."

"Crabba snabba!" Stitch said, eyes widening. Lilo gasped.

"Uh, no. Am thinking is time you left." "Oh, don't be such a coward. I'LL do it." The Grand Scion pulled out a sharp, ornate dagger from his pocket. "I need some action anyway…" He muttered to himself.

Lilo gasped and turned to run, but the Grand Scion was quicker than he looked, rushing over and grabbing her, cackling and holding the dagger high. "I can't wait to see your blood, child! I'm going to make this VERY mess-"

BAM!

The Grand Scion fell to the ground, unconscious, possibly worse. Jumba had struck him over the head with his ray gun, which was now dripping slightly with the Grand Scion's blood. "Evil Genius Organization is NOTHING when compared to _ohana_. It is with YOU that I truly belong, little girl…am not letting anyone, not even Grand Scion of big, fancy organization hurt you." Jumba tossed the gun onto the ground and gave a very nasty (but alien, so the kids couldn't understand) hand gesture towards the Grand Scion.

Nick smiled. "Now THAT'S the Jumba I've been hoping to see." 561 blinked, puzzled. He couldn't understand. Why? Why bother with a stupid little girl? Was her light really that important to his father?

Nick suddenly lifted his arms and whacked 561's, making the experiment yelp and drop him. Nick landed deftly on the ground and rushed over to 627, kicking him away from Ace's capsule and breaking it open, helping Ace out. "Change of plans, guys. I'm giving you ten seconds to run."

"Why I oughta…"

"NO."

621 slowly walked down the fire escape on the side of the building they were all looking at and hopped down from it, going over to Nick.

"So you're listening to your conscience now, Nick?"

"I should have never come to you. I was being really selfish."

"True, true. And now you think you can make it all better by saving Ace?"

"Yeah."

"…we're leaving. Now."

621 walked off, smiling inwardly. 561, silent and deadly, flew after him, with 627 right behind, who was muttering obscenities. Nick sighed and let Ace out of the net, who grinned at him. Lilo and Stitch walked over.

"Nick, what did you mean by "change of plans" and…and…wait…did you set this all up?" "Well, I didn't know about any Grand Scion, but…I went to those guys to get Ace captured so that…well…that I'd be the only good hero around, and so that you'd like me again. I was really jealous and-"

WHACK!

Nick rubbed his sore cheek. "Nick! Of COURSE we still liked you! You're still our _ohana_! But Ace was new, and we needed to look after him, and to find his one true place! We weren't ignoring you!...not on purpose, anyway…"

Stitch nodded, frowning disapprovingly.

"Nick should naga get jealous of cousin. Nick still _ohana_, no matter what."

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Lilo sighed. "Nick, you gotta trust us more. If you had talked with us about how you were feeling…well, Nani always says that talking about your feelings makes you feel better." "Ih." "I guess I was just so angry I didn't wanna talk…is there any way I could make it up to you?" "Well, first we need to find Ace's one true place. After that…wellll…"

THE NEXT DAY…

"Hey Nick, are you almost done?" "Almost, Mr. Jameson!"

Nick was moving some huge stacks of boxes into the Birds of Paradise hotel for Keoni's dad. Lilo, Stitch and Ace watched him. "Community service is a real everyday-hero type of thing for Nick to do, and it's sure to teach him a lesson, huh Stitch?" "Ih!" "And Ace has already found his one true place…helping people around the island!" Ace grinned dazzlingly. "Nick, careful!" "Don't worry Mr. Jameson, I got-"

PLORK.

A seagull pooped on Nick's head. Instinctively he reached up to wipe it off, and he dropped all the boxes. The sound of expensive air-conditioning units hitting the pavement rang through the air.

Keoni's dad groaned.

Nick groaned even louder.

"Aw, daaaaang!"

Lilo and Stitch laughed as Nick picked the stacks of boxes up again, going "ew-ew-ew" as he rushed into the hotel, using one hand to carry and the other to wipe away the poo. Ace bounded off, heading into town, hearing a cry of "save my baby" and going off to save the day for someone.

Meanwhile…

"I'm pleased with you indeed."

"Why, thank you, Grand Scion."

"Jumba is no longer my successor. I am still debating whether or not to exclude him from E.G.O. In any case…I have a new successor now."

"And I humbly accept it."

"Stop the flattery. You're not humble at all."

"…you're right. I'm not. WOO **HOO**! I'm gonna be the Successor, I'm gonna be the Successor, I'm gonna-"

"Silence. Anyhow, I must be off. Good luck on your plan…Grand Successor Hamsterviel. Thank you for letting me stay the night as well."

Hamsterviel saluted. "Oh no, Grand Scion…"

He grinned, a wild, almost feral grin. "Thank YOU…"


	28. Precious

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

PRECIOUS

"I am the dark Lord of Mordor, and I have forged the one ring…**to rule them ALL!**"

"Lilo, how many times you gonna say that?"

"Until I get sick of watching it on "Darn Legendaryfrog."

Stitch cackled, rubbing his hands in "I'm so evil" fashion. "Rule them all!" He said.

As it was the weekend just before school, everyone was spending their last remnants of "free time" hanging around the house for the day. Lilo had gotten into surfing the internet, and planned on later surfing the Intergalactic Net to see if there were any cool video games to find.

She had WANTED to go check out the volcano, but recently the roads leading up there had been closed off, so the volcano was a no-go, which was too bad, because it was a really nice sight.

And Stitch?

Well…

He HAD been watching a movie with Angel in the living room. Specifically, the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

And he had gotten hooked.

Once the movie finished, everyone was totally not surprised to see him acting out the way he did.

"Stitch dark lord of Mordah, forged one ring TO RULE ALL!"

Jumba shook his head in a "No, Grasshopper" fashion. "No, no, it's more like "I am the dark Lord of Mordor, and I have forged the One Ring…**to rule them ALL!**" "You like Lord of the Rings?" Nani asked. Jumba nodded, walking into the kitchen and sitting down, sipping some water. Nani sat down next to him with some coffee.

"Oh, yes! Is very, very good story. Did I not tell you I have visited Earth before?" "No." "Well I have. And picked up "Lord of Rings" when disguis-ed as human. Is greatest story I have ever been reading, ha-ha! Action! Adventure! And…heh-heh-heh…it gave me inspiration!"

"Have you ever read the Bible?" Lilo asked, walking into the kitchen. "Yes, but am not religous type. Personally am thinking God is not Lord of anything, but just load of-" Nani elbowed him. "Ow! No hitting me, older girl! Anyway, I do have to admit, Bible is very, very good story, but did not inspire me the way that Lord of the Rings book did, heh-heh."

"How did it inspire you?" Nani asked, feeling a little bit worried at the look Jumba was getting in his eye.

"Well…that is story for another time. Will tell you later..."

Meanwhile, Nick was serving out the last day of his community service. Unfortunately, he was serving it…in prison.

You see, his last job involved cooking for inmates. Inmates like Bonnie and Clyde.

When they saw him behind the lunch counter, serving meatballs, they grinned nastily. "Welly, welly, well, Clyde. Looky who we got here. Nick. Whatta surprise, huh?" "You bet, Bonnie. Hey, what are you doin' in the joint anyway?" "I'm serving community service…and lunch…in here. This is my last day."

Bonnie smirked. "Well now youse gonna learn what it's like ta be an inmate, huh, Clyde?" "Hey Bonnie…I've been thinkin'…we oughta bre-"

"Shut it!" Bonnie said, elbowing Clyde in the stomach. Nick raised an eyebrow. "You guys are thinking of breaking out? Not on my watch." "Well we, per se, are not gonna be breaking out…our "cousins" are gonna break us out, see?" Bonnie said, looking like a cat who had swallowed the canary. Clyde had a big, wide grin on his face, and his eyes twinkled with a devilish dazzle. They had something planned. Something bad.

"What are you planning?" Nick demanded to know, throwing down his serving spoon. Bonnie made the "shh" gesture and looked around. "Look, me us at our cell after lunch, say, uh…1:08, okay? We'll tell ya all about it."

Nick nodded, vowing that they would NOT escape from prison if HE had anything to say about it.

Meanwhile, someone else was in the middle of something important too. 625 was in the kitchen, sweaty and hot, chef's hat on and looking proud.

"At last…I've done it…"

He held up his creation.

"THE PERFECT SANDWICH! Two kinds of meat, three kinds of cheese, lettuce and sprinkled with a dash of paprika! The perfect sandwich...and only for my taste buds to enjoy!"

621 was listening to the radio, and 561 was getting his kicks from looking around Gantu's ship, occasionally staring at Gantu and giving the big bipedal whale the willies, which made 561 smile in a creepy fashion and which made Gantu even MORE uncomfortable. 621 turned to a different channel and suddenly stopped while adjusting the volume, stiffening.

"Where'd you gooo? I miss you so…seem's like it's been foreverrr.. since you've been gooooonnne…where'd you gooo? I miss you sooo…seem's like it's been foreverrr…since you've been gooone…please come back hooome…"

621 shut the radio off, muttering something about "stupid human's and their stupid need to rap and "hippity-hop" and crap". He scratched his stomach and plopped down in a chair, groaning.

Then 627 burst through a window, looking triumphant and wearing a t-shirt that read "Retro 4Ever" and holding some small paper things in his hand.

"Hey guys, hey! Hey guys! HEY! I won some tickets AND a t-shirt! The tickets are for the "Retro 4Ever" concert next Sunday!"

"Nice shirt." Gantu said.

"Retro 4Ever? That band that plays classic rock and stuff?" 621 asked, who had been paying attention to the radio for quite a while. "That's the one!" 627 said, grinning. "Where did you get the tickets?" Gantu asked. He was sitting in his chair, playing with a Rubix Cube.

627 blinked slowly.

TWENTY MINTUES AGO…

Two men walked out of a radio station, one with a t-shirt tucked beneath his arm and another fingering some tickets.

"Well, we've still got to get this t-shirt and these 5 tickets left."

"We can give them away tomorrow, after all it's the last day of the contest."

"I wish we could keep the tickets, they're front row."

"I wish we could at least keep the shirt."

Suddenly the garbage can in front of them let out a "bang" noise from inside. The two men gasped…

Then a raccoon jumped out and ran down the sidewalk, scaring a few people. The first guy breathed a sigh of relief.

"Phew! I thought something was gonna…"

_**"RARRRR!"**_

627 jumped off the roof and towards the two men, who screamed like little girls and cowered in fear…

THE PRESENT…

"I SAID I won them." 627 growled stubbornly. "Anyhow, before you guys get yours, you have to do the "627-is-so-great" dance."

Everyone groaned, 561 the loudest. "Not the "627-is-so-great" dance!" "Oh, yeah, the "627-is-so-great" dance!"

Then 627 saw the sandwich 625 was about to eat. "Hey…does that have roast beef?" "Uh, yeah…why?" "Gimme your sandwich." "No! Make yer own!" "I'll let you have a ticket in exchange for that sandwich." "Will I not hafta to do the dance?" "Nah." "Will you let me video tape these guys and sell the tape on the internet?" "Sure." "Okaaay! Here's your sandwich, new best buddy!" "625, you rotten traitor!" "Sorry, old buddy, just lookin' out fer number one!"

And so, therefore…

"Get the grass skirt on."

"It's ON, it's ON!"

"Now bend lower. Okay, start dancing."

What followed was a freaky version of "The Chicken" mixed with hula dancing and a whole lot of bowing towards 627, who everyone danced around.

"627-is-so-great, yeah he's really, really great, really-really-really great, he's (clap) really (clap-clap) great (clap), 627-is-so-great, yeah he's really, really great, really-really-really great, he's super-dooper great! (Clap-clap-clap-clap) Oh he's perfect and he's great, and he's clever and he's great, and he's really really great, yeah he's really really great, 627 you're so great, 627 is so great, yeah he's really, really great!"

"Thank you, thank you…you love me, you really love me…or else."

621 groaned. "Can we please just have the tickets?"

Back to Nick!...

Nick looked around Bonnie and Clyde's cell. "Kinda…homey, for some reason. Must be the pillows-wait, you didn't STEAL these, did you?" "No, no no, noooooooo. We just sweet-talked the guard, kid!" "Anyhoo, take a looky at THIS!" Clyde pulled out a small red pod that was behind a cup of water. It was labeled "400".

"This is Experiment 400. She's REALLY important." "Another one of the 400 series? Weren't most of them…well...failures?" "Yeah, but this precious little gem was a HUGE success. You see…"

Bonnie held the pod up to the light of the cell and then dropped it into the cup of water. "She's designed to control all the other experiments!"

A glowing yellow orb of light expanded from the released pod…

Then, a moment later…

"All right! Thanks for getting the tickets, 627! That was…gee. That was…NICE of you." "Yeah, yeah. I was just bored." 561 chuckled. "What's so funny?" 627 demanded.

"Experiment 4-0-0 activated." Everyone whipped their heads toward the experiment container computer.

"Primary function…designed to control all other experiments."

Eyes widened. 625 took in a breath quickly. "Did that thing just say…400? Experiment 400? Oh jeez! Not HER!" "Her?" "She's a girl, yeah. I've heard horror stories about her…nasty stuff!" "400 was created before me…but I too have heard of her power. She was indeed quite a success, forcing other experiments to play with her and do whatever she asked…but she was loyal to Jumba, at least. He got the idea on how to make her from reading some book…" "Hmm…I THINK it was Lord of the Rings." "He was on Earth before?" "Yep." "Interesting…" Gantu said, getting an idea. "Well she's dangerous, and was always loyal to the doc." "But NOW she'll be loyal to Hamsterviel!" Gantu said, a smile spreading.

"If I capture Experiment 400, I'll be able to control all the other experiments that the girl and the trog and her friends have caught…and I'm SURE to get a nice, fat raise!" "And maybe a bonus too, just for bringing in 400!" 625 said. 627 scoffed. "How are we gonna FIND her?" Gantu grinned. "I…have a plan. A plan…to **rule them ALL!**...but first, where are the heavy-duty container capsules?"

"Under the sink." 625 said.

Meanwhile, back at the prison…

"Aw, you're so CUTE!"

Nick was tickling 400's belly, and she was laughing happily. She was small, the size of a teddy bear, and she had small, spiky ears, claws, and stubby antennae, with silver tips. She was the color of gold, and had small, crown-like spikes on her head, as well as big, deep blue eyes. Her tummy was light gold, and she shimmered in the light.

Nick thought she was the cutest thing around, and was giving her a horse kiss, which made her giggle.

"BBPPPLLLPPPBBBHH! Ha-ha! You're so cute! And here I thought you were gonna be some scary monster, heh. Silly me!"

400 started smiled up at Nick. "She's like a little kid, isn't she?" Nick asked. "Yeah…but MAN, she made me and Clyde play with her ALL the time, and everyone else unfortunate enough to be considered "good playmates". However, it…heh…it was kinda funny the way she made Experiments 100 and 471 do a dance…" "What kind of dance?" "It's called the Mubahai Shuffle of 1000 hours…" "TMI. Anyway, how does she work?"

Bonnie and Clyde shrugged. "Heck if WE know." Clyde said. "She just like, glows, like that!" Indeed, she was glowing. "And…and…" Suddenly Clyde jammed his finger in his nose and went "Guuh-huhh…" Nick looked down at 400. "Did you do that?" She nodded. "Sorreee." She said. Suddenly Bonnie began to dance. "I am a thieving girl! I like to dance and twirl! I show my armpit hair! I stole _your_ underwear!"

She IS good! Nick thought, realizing that his pants did feel slightly more…breezy…

"You're wearing dungarees above your nelly knees!" "These are CARGO SHORTS! And my knees are not nel-400, give it a rest!"

She nodded, and Bonnie and Clyde fell down onto the floor. "See?" Bonnie groaned. "She's a _monster_!" "Aw, but she's so cute! I gotta show Lilo!" "Wait! You don't-"

Too late, Nick was gone…and 400 was glowing slightly…

Back at the house, Lilo was watching a documentary on, of all things, Kauai.

"Oh come ON! They're not even showing OUR town!" "Somethin' bothering you, Lilo?" Nani asked. "It just feels like sometimes the world doesn't even know our town exists. It's nothing big, but still…" "It's still nice to be acknowledged?" Pleakley asked, doing some dusting. "Yeah."

Stitch, sitting on the couch, sipped some Coca-Cola. Suddenly he growled in pain. "Ugh…ohhh…" "Stitch, what's wrong?" Lilo asked, running over to him. He grabbed his head and swayed a little, before suddenly stiffening up. "Stitch? Is everything okay?" "Comiiiiing…" Stitch said, walking towards the door like a zombie. He banged into it, and then opened it up by ripping it off it's hinges and throwing it down the steps. Then he jumped clear over the steps and the door and landed on the driveway, slowly walking towards town.

"What's going on?" Lilo asked Jumba, who had just walked in to see Stitch's weird behavior. "Uh oh. Is not good. Either destructive programming returning, glitch in 626's life functions, or…or Experiment 400 has been activated." "Experiment 400?" "Yes, I…heh-heh…I nicknamed her "Precious"." "Precious?" "You see, I visited Earth before, and while I was here, I happened to go into bookstore, just to see what they had, you know? I pick-ed up book nearest to me, and looked through it…BAM! Was hooked! Amazing stuff, all written by Mr. J.R.R Tolkein. So I was inspired, aflame with visions…and when I return-ed to my lab, I sat down and went to work on creating 400, ha-ha-ha! She can control all other experiments, even ones made AFTER her! She is the one experiment…"

Jumba grinned evilly. "**To rule them ALL!"**

Pleakley groaned. "Aw, great! A little monster that can control all of the other little monsters! Just great!"

"Relax, is no big deal. 400 generally harmless. Simply likes having playmates." "Okay, so she's bringing the cousins to her to play with her?" Lilo asked. "Am thinking so…but in any case, we had better go find her.She sometimes will engage in very naughty activities, heh-heh-heh. Luckily for us, there is way to neutralize her." "How?" Pleakley asked.

Jumba looked at them with a resolute face. "In order to neutralize Experiment 400…we must throw her into…a volcano."

Lilo gulped.

"Oh boy." Pleakley said.

Meanwhile…

"How about some pizza? The one pizza…**to rule them ALL**! It's got cheese-stuffed crust!"

400 nodded, and gently took the pizza slice in her hand, taking small bites. Nick smiled and sat her across from him at the booth they were in. "Want a drink?" "Just sum water." She said. "Okay. Uh, waiter? Some water over here, please?"

Then Nick noticed that Sparky had walked into the pizza place, and was heading over for them. "Uh, hey Sparky! What's up?"

"…I like pie."

"Uh, okay. But what's up?"

Sparky responded by standing on his head, wheeling his legs in the air and whistling what sounded a lot like "99 bottles of beer on the wall".

"Huh?" Nick said.

Suddenly Slushy walked in, rushing over to their table and pulling out something from behind his back.

"Snow-cones? For us?" Slushy nodded. "Gee, thanks a lo-hey…wait a tick! 400, are you controlling th-"

Kixx, Yin and Yang walked in, wearing barbershop clothes and hats. "Oh, no." Nick said. "You're not gonna make them-"

"Oh when the saints…"

"Oh when the saints!"

"Go marchin' in!"

"Go marching in!"

"Oh when the saints go marchin' in!"

"When they go in!"

"Oh how I long…to be in their number…"

"Oh, yes I dooo!"

"Oh when those saints go marching in!"

"Go marching in, ba-da-BA!"

"Oh, you did. 400, you really gotta stop…"

Suddenly everyone in the restaurant screamed and ran as a huge hole was blown in the wall of the pizza place. Nick looked to his left and across a few rows to see Gantu, 561, 621 and 627 all walking in…although the experiments were looking dazed, except for 561, who looked a little bit angry.

"I cannot believe you decided to use us as BAIT."

"It worked, didn't it? And you're immune to the power, right?"

"Yes, it appears so."

"Good, then get to work! Knock them all out! Look at all the experiments we've got here!"

"Uh oh." Nick said, pulling out his wallet and slamming a ten-dollar bill onto the table to pay for the short lunch. He grabbed 400's hand and they ran out the door. "Come on, we gotta find somewhere they can't get to you!"

But 400 simply grinned, and closed her eyes. Inside the restaurant…

"Blitznack! They got away-561, what's wrong with you?"

"Feel…funny…very…"

"What? I thought you were immune!"

"I…can't…move a muscle of my own accord…RUN! NOW! I can't control the darkness anymo-AAAA!"

"AAAA!"

All went black.

A moment later, Gantu was on the floor of the restaurant, and the place was totaled. All the experiments…were gone. Gantu groaned and rubbed his head. "Oh, my heeaaad…" "Hey!"

A man wearing a dark-blue t-shirt, who also had a soft Italian accent, came out. "Did you do this to-a me restaurant?" "Uh, no…" "Well SOMEBODY's gotta pay for all of this damage!" He said, eyeing Gantu. "Uhh…do you take checks?" "No." "Aw, blitznack. Um, let me get my wallet out…how much for the damages?"

"You got 1000 dollars on you?"

"Double Blitznack."

Outside, Nick looked around. Experiments were walking slowly towards him, moaning and groaning like…well, zombies. "What the? 400, give it a rest!"

Unfortunately, 400 wasn't paying attention. She was too busy having fun controlling the experiments. "What am I gonna do NOW?" Nick groaned.

"Help is on way!"

A moment later, the Dune Buggy whizzed down the street, coming to a fast stop in front of Nick. "Getting in, fast!" Jumba shouted. Lilo, Victoria and Pleakley were in the backseat. Nick hopped into the front seat and they all took off. "What's going on?" "400 thinks is hilarious controlling experiments. Must neutralize her by throwing her into volcano!" "A VOLCANO!" "Was stuttering? Yes, a volcano! Is only way to release experiments from spell, otherwise-"

"You can't leeeaaaavvvveee…"

Lilo shrieked. 627, drooling heavily, had climbed onto the Dune Buggy. He was now digging into the back window with his claws, and his drool was flying back, hitting several experiments that were chasing the Dune Buggy. "400 doesn't wanna stop the fun. We won't let you stop the fun. Boy, this is fun. Funny-funny-fun…"

Stitch acted quickly, jumped up and bashing the back window apart with his forehead. The window shattered, and 627 flew off, hitting several of the chasing experiments. They bumped and rolled on the road, but got right back up and started chasing the Dune Buggy again.

"This ISN'T working!" Pleakley said. "Where's the volcano?" "Up there!" Lilo said, pointing north. There it was, the high peak of the volcano. "The main road might be…"

(Scene cuts to the entrance to the main road that leads to the top)

"Blocked, though." Lilo said.

Sure enough, a very vibrant throng of experiments had gathered there, and had…adorned themselves as if they were a tribe.

"Hooka-pooka-bonga!" said Kixx, who banged his tattooed chest. He had a headband on and looked kinda like an alien Rambo. "Boomba goo!" said Amnesio, who was covered in tribal decorations. And Felix was wearing a ragged loincloth and had tribal war-paint all over his face. "Aggabaaaaa!" He howled, holding up a spear.

"Great, now Felix is a Kunte Kinte." Lilo said.

"Drive, Jumba, DRIVE!" Pleakley said, shaking Jumba's seat. "Stop-shake-ing-meeee!"

Jumba gunned the engine and went in reverse, heading back down. "We've gotta climb to the top, there's a pathway on the next left!" Lilo said. "We'd better hurry." Nick said. "Why?" Victoria asked. "Look." Nick said, pointing down the path.

Huge throngs of experiments were coming towards them. Jumba gulped. "Is so…EVIL! Am so very proud of 400!" "She's a BAD little experiment!" Nick said, shaking his finger at her. "I'm not buying you pizza ever again!" "Okie dokeee." 400 said, scratching her hair.

They made a quick left turn, and found a pathway. "Everyone, run for it!" Nick shouted, jumping out of the car with 400 still in his arms. They ran up the pathway, huffing and puffing, the sounds of experiments behind them. "I…cannot…do this…was…worst runner…in my…class!" Jumba said. "Pretend there's food waiting for you at the end, then Mr. I-Put-A-Buffet-Outta-Business-Every-Other-Week!" "HEY! Is more like every third week." "Just run, guys!" Lilo shouted.

Panting and wheezing, they finally reached it…

The top, the crest of the volcano.

Nick looked down below, into the churning lava. It bubbled, popping slightly. It was unbelievably hot, and everyone was sweating up a storm.

"Throw her in!" Jumba shouted. "Do it!"

Nick looked down at 400, who sucked her thumb. "But…she'll get…she'll get hurt, won't she?"

"DO IT!"

"Wait, Jumba, what if Precious gets hurt?" Lilo asked. "Yeah, we don't wanna hurt her, even if she's kind of a brat!" Victoria said, nodding vigorously. "Is only way! I don't think it will hurt her!" "You THINK? But do you KNOW?" "Is 84 chance will not hurt her!" "What about the other sixteen?" Pleakley asked. "15 chance she will be roasted." Jumba said, looking nervous AND sweaty.

Lilo gasped. "We can't hurt a cousin!" "No way!" "Guys…we've gotta do _something_…LOOK!"

The experiments that had been following them were coming into view. "Stop! Stop!" At the front was 561, much to everyone's surprise. "You won't stop the fun!" He said, looking loopy.

He had a banana in his ear.

"Okay, do it." Jumba demanded.

"No!" Nick shouted, stepping away from Jumba, and holding Precious high. "I won't! She's Stitch's cousin! She's my cousin! MINE! Not yours! And she'll STAY that way! Don't you get it? She's the one experiment…**to rule them ALL!** HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

Nick laughed maniacally. "And now, with her, I'll take over the whole planet! Ha-ha-ha!" "Oh, Nick…" Lilo said, frightened. "Don't…"

Nick held Precious up higher. "This is such a rush! HA-HA-HA! I'M GONNA RULE THE WOOOORLD!"

Pleakley gasped. "We're dooooomed!" "Oh blitznack!" Jumba shouted. The experiments came closer…closer…

Lilo screamed. Victoria hugged her. "It's gonna be alright, Lilo…right?" Lilo hugged back.

Nick suddenly smiled. "Just kidding." He said, looking up at Precious. "Sorry. I really am."

He quickly tossed her into the lava.

Everyone gasped as she fell down, down…

Landing in the lava with a "plooosh".

They waited…

Then Precious suddenly burst out of the lava, breathing deeply. She started to backstroke around the lava, humming "_Aloha Oe_".

"Ha! Told you! 84 chance lava will do nothing, and look, has done nothing!"

Suddenly she began to grow. "Uh oh." Jumba said. "RUN!"

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, IN TOWN AND AT THE PIZZA PARLOR…

Jumba sipped his coke. "84 chance lava does nothing. 15 chance of frying. 1 chance she grows bigger as a result of intense heat catalysts accelerating her growth cycle."

Nani sighed. "So now we've got a big, golden experiment that's stuck in a volcano."

David looked out the window. Precious was playing patty-cake with herself. "Wow, she sure is big."

"At least it's the top half that's sticking out." Victoria said, as Snooty sipped his chocolate shake.

"Ih." Stitch said, nodding.

Jumba sighed. "Well, until I can make machine that will shrink her to normal size, town will just have to get used to seeing Precious in volcano."

Lilo smiled. "It'll be okay. She can't throw to far, AND she's a great spitter."

Nani groaned. "How is that okay?"

Lilo thumbed towards the window. They all looked outside. Myrtle and her posse were riding their bikes down the street.

"HOOOCK…PTOOIE!"

SPLORT.

"AAAAIIIEEEE!" Myrtle and her friends screamed, running off their bikes and heading for a place that had towels. Nick laughed so hard root beer came outta his nose, which made a big mess.

"HEY! Get-a out there, rookie! We've got a mess on table twelve!" "All right, all right."

Gantu came out of the kitchen, wearing a red apron, am Italian Flag t-shirt that read "Kiss the Waiter" on top of the flag, and pants that were red with green and white lines.

"I hate this job." He said, walking over to the table where the others were. "At least it's got a dental plan." said 625, who was chomping down on a meatball marinara with parmesan. Gantu groaned and wiped up the mess, then walked over to a pimply-faced teenager who handed him a note. "Oh. OH. All right, I'll tell the manager."

Gantu walked into the kitchen.

"Sir, the rest of the staff has a message for you. Here." He handed the note to his boss, who looked it over. "What the? A 401K plan? They want a 401k plan-a?" "Yeah, they're all really in need of some stocks." "Oh I'll give them a plan." The manager said, turning around and rubbing his big hands.

"I'll give them a 401K plan. The ONE 401K plan…**to rule them ALL!**" He whipped around.

Gantu's uniform was on the ground, and there was a sign that read "UNION YES" were he'd been.

"Did I-a go overboard?" The owner said, blinking.


	29. Tag

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

TAG

Angel looked through the book, then sighed.

"Nothing too helpful in here…" She said in Galactic to Heartwing, who was reading another book.

The two of them had been going to the library every single day, searching for books that would tell them more about the criminal mind. Angel was very interested in finding out why "Hammy" was so evil, and Heartwing was only too happy to help out a friend, so…

The white dragon experiment looked through the book he was reading, scanning every line before finally finding something. His eyes widened, then he nodded slowly and sadly, handing the book to Angel, pointing with one claw at a particular section.

"What? Oh, all right, I'll look. Let's see…oh. OH. "Childhood abuse is one of three tell-tale signs that indicate the presence of a dangerous and possibly insane mindset inside a person. It is often the most frequently experienced trigger of abnormal behaviors in later life, and can lead to a parent repeating family history by abusing their child. The loss of a loved one can also lead to dangerous mindset growth in people, and a child losing a fellow sibling or their parent is especially impressionable and thus susceptible to negative emotions." This…this is serious. And you say that Nick thinks Hamsterviel had a brother?"

Heartwing nodded, eyes betraying his feelings of pity for the evil doctor.

"You think maybe Jacques lost his brother?"

Heartwing nodded again.

"It would explain the diary Nick found, and why he's so mean and doesn't talk about his family. I was his prisoner for a while and he never once talked about his family at all…and I asked, believe me, I asked! Still, Jumba told me that Hammy didn't have any siblings at all."

Heartwing pointed to another section.

"Hmm. "Another tell-tale sign of a psychotic mindset is a history of small animal abuse…" Hmm. I guess he's guilty of that! So everything we're reading right now tells us he's insane. But how do we deal with an insane person?"

Heartwing sat back in his chair, eyes closing and opening slowly as he thought.

Meanwhile…in Gantu's ship…

"Two more days till the concert, two more days till the concert!" 627 was jumping around, all giddy. 621 was in a deep, unhappy funk, while 561 was talking with 625.

"If you ask me, the whole basic system of Islam is outrageously flawed, simply take a look at the Purdah. Its whole premise is to make sure women keep themselves covered and to conceal their form."

"Yeah, apparently they think that it liberates women by makin' them known not for their bodies but for their faith, personality, the whole shebang."

"But it doesn't seem very liberating to be forced to keep yourself hidden."

"I guess it all comes down to what the women wanna do, not what should be forced on them. I mean, do they wanna practice purdah and wear burqas and stuff or do they wanna stick to shirts and shorts or somethin'?"

"It's quite the quandary."

"Yeah."

A few moments passed. Then…

"I'm bored and hungry. I'm gonna make me a bologna sandwich. Want one? Or maybe a seafood sandwich? We've got catfish!"

"…no."

621 had a feather in his claws. He held it up in the air as he lay on his back on the floor, and then let it fall towards his face. He blew it up with a "foof" and then it fell back down. He blew it up again, it fell back down. And over and over and over.

"Can I try that?" Gantu asked.

"Get your own feather." 621 groaned.

"You've GOT to get out of this funk." 625 said, mouth full of Swiss cheese and bologna sandwich. "Seriously, you've gotta get over Angel!"

621 grabbed the feather in midair and starting ripping it up.

"Okay, nevermind." 625 said, backing away a few feet. Then…

"Experiment 183 activated. Primary Function: Defacing Property."

"Huh?" "Oh, him. Hoo boy. You better hope he doesn't come over here." "What do you mean?" "Well, the little aspiring artist designated 183 was created for drawing on stuff." Gantu blinked slowly. "He…draws on things. That's it? Sounds harmless, not evil." "Not ordinary drawing. I'm talking…uh…what's the term? Oh yeah! Graffiti. It's illegal and as sacrilegious as _heck_ back on Jumba's planet and on tons of others. Drawing a smiley face on a house of worship gets ya fifty years to LIFE!"

Gantu whistled. "That's quite interesting. We don't have graffiti on OUR planet, so I wouldn't know what it looks like…but I've heard about it. A little, anyway." "Well do you want to see it?" 561 asked, smiling slightly. It wasn't a "happy for you" smile. "What do you mean?" Gantu asked, unsure. "Go outside." 561 said. "And then take a good look around."

One minute later, the whole surrounding forest heard Gantu roar in anger. His ship had "183 WAS HERE, WORD" written all over it in red, black-lined letters.

"AW, BLITZNAAAACK! STUPID TROOOOGGG!"

625 shook his head slowly as he stared at it. "Still immature after all these years, huh 183?"

"When I get my hands on that dumb little trog…" Gantu growled. At that moment, the video-link burst to life. "Gantuuuu! Get in here, NOW."

Gantu groaned and walked back inside, while 625 stayed outside, eating the last bit of his sandwich. He looked across the river and sighed. "Okay, man. Come on out."

183 climbed down from the tree he'd been in and hung down from a branch. He looked like a raccoon, sort of. He had long ears though, and bigger eyes, as well has a hook at the end of his bushy tail, which was hooking onto the branch. He had spiky Mohawk-style hair between his head, and was wearing a cap backwards, with the hair sticking out from it. His fur was red in color, with dark red strips on his tail and dark blue Mohawk hair. His claws and hook were the color blue, and on his hands he had a tiny little hole in the center, which sprayed out solid lines for his art.

"You'd better stay far away from the land shark here, buddy. He's really ticked about what you did."

"Whatev, cuz. I'm just keepin' it real, yah heard? Word to yo mothas."

"I have no idea what you just said. You ARE speaking Basic, right?"

"Yo, I speak STREET, and the slangity-slang is the thingity-thing, dawg!"

"…just go, alright?"

Inside Gantu's ship, Hamsterviel looked, as usual, annoyed.

"Another experiment has been activated. Go FIND it."

"You do know that it is experiment 183, right sir?"

"Experiment…ah yes. The little graffiti artist, Tag."

"You named it Tag?"

"Yes. Jumba and I used to name them befo-oh, what am I talking about! Go get that experiment, or I am going to cut your cable! And I MEAN it this time!"

"Oh, please don't! I can't survive without watching "Monty Python"!"

"You watch "Monty Python"?" The alien madman asked.

"Well…yes."

"…just get me my experiment." With a "bloop" the video-link turned off. Gantu wiped sweat off of his brow. "Phew. Now then…where's my heavy-duty container capsules?"

"Under the sink." 561 said.

Meanwhile, Victoria and Snooty were at their home, and Victoria was talking to her mother and father.

"Mom, come on! I wanna go to the concert! Lilo, Stitch and Nick bought tickets online, and they're good seats too! PLEASE can't I go?"

"I told you, not until you get that big art project done."

"But the concert's in two days, and I can't think of what to DO for the project!" "Well you're just gonna have to think harder, sweetie. Go ask your father, he's the artist of the family." "Mom, drawing comics is NOT the same thing as…oh, fine! I'll go talk to him."

Snooty flapped after Victoria as she walked down the stairs to the basement, where her father's drawing studio was. He was hard at work, inking in the last bits of a comic, which was called "Kid Kauai", a big fan favorite in the islands and especially among the town's kids.

Victoria tapped her dad on the back after he'd finished. He put the comic down and turned around in his rotating chair, brushing some of his brown hair back. Although it was mostly straight, a few long strands of hair hung down over his brow. "What's up, babe?" He asked. He rubbed his tinted red glasses with his white shirt and then put them back on. "I heard you from upstairs. Need some help with your project?"

"I don't know what to do, dad. I'm…well, I'm not too good at doing stuff under pressure…" "I know, I know. Listen kitten, I'm not gonna do your work for you, if that's what you're thinking." "I wasn't. I know you wouldn't do that." "I know that you can do it on your own. You just need…"

He rubbed a spot on his forehead then snapped his fingers. "Inspiration. Go for a walk. Take the scenery in. See what…"

He suddenly reached down and lifted her up with a shout of "Grabs you!" Victoria giggled as he swung her around and around, then placed her back down. Snooty sqeaked happily, and flapped over to Chris, who gave him the same "round the world" treatment, for fun. Victoria hugged her dad, then ran upstairs with Snooty right behind. "See you later, dad!" "Bye, honey! Good luck!"

Meanwhile, in town…

"Hmm…is definitely work of Experiment 183, whom Hamsterviel and I named Tag. Yes, is definitely his work." "Gee, you think!" "Calm down, noodle man. Be glad nobody is hurt. Tag is perfectly harmless experiment."

"You call THAT harmless?" Pleakley said, gesturing at the roof of the Pelekai house. The words "TAG WUZ HERE, SUCKAS!" was written in red letters with black linings. If you looked closely, you could see fancy textures inside the letters, swirls and strips and circular patterns.

"Always did like getting attention." Jumba said. Lilo and Stitch were by Nani, who had passed out on the hammock after seeing her nice roof defamed by graffiti. Stitch was fanning her with a large palm leaf and Lilo had a glass of water. Nick was studying the damage from the roof, flying through the air on the jet boots Jumba had given him. He looked it over, smiling a little.

"Hey, this is really nice work! I've seen quite a lot of graffiti when I visited New York City, Boston and Hartford, but this stuff is really sweet! Total CCS, guys." "Just go higher and get bird eye viewing of town. Tell us if you are seeing more defacing damage by 183!" Jumba shouted. Nick nodded and flew higher, looking out towards town.

First thing he saw was a billboard. Then a water tower. Then a huge sign for a store. Then he looked at the roofs of several buildings.

He came back down.

"Yep. He went and painted the town red. Literally." "We'd better go find him. I shall retrieve experiment-hunting materials for little girl and 626. Where is my extra-strong container capsule, Pleakley?"

"Under the sink." Pleakley replied.

Lilo sighed. "Stitch, you and Nick go find Tag. I'd better stay here and make sure Nani doesn't faint again. Or scream." "Good idea. Come on, Stitch! Race you!" "Goobaja!" Stitch shouted, laughing slightly. The two took off for town, Nick zipping through the air and Stitch running full speed on all fours. Lilo looked over at Nani, who slowly opened her eyes.

"Uh, Nani, don't look at the roof again-"

FLUMP.

"Oh boy…" Lilo groaned. "I'd better go find the aspirin. Jumba, where'd you put the aspirin?" "Is in my laboratory, do not touch anything that is shiny." "Okaaaay." Lilo said, sighing.

Meanwhile, Victoria was simply amazed.

The graffiti was everywhere…but it looked amazing to her. Tag, bored with simply drawing messages, had now begun to draw elaborate scenes of city life on some far-off planet. One alien kid was fending off a big gang with a single stick in this one, in another one it was a kind of "Romeo and Juliet Balcony Scene" in space, but the one that really caught her eye…

Was that of two familiar looking aliens. Jumba and Hamsterviel, both young. Jumba had long hair that was in a ponytail, Hamsterviel had on a blue vest, and both of them had bling-bling from head to toe. Jumba was wearing sunglasses and Hamsterviel had a backwards cap. They had arms folded, and the statement "We're Bad, Ya' Heard?" were sprayed over their heads in red and black letters.

And there, on a car, doing another piece, was Tag, taking a deep breath and spraying onto the window. In a few moments, and with a little bit of hand-spraying, a nice scene of two pimped-out cars going at least 90 and flying through the air over a long desert highway. Tag grinned and made the "sweet" sign with his hand.

"Word, cuz that stuff is the shiznit, ya heard? Now I'm gonna be chillin' like a villain for a while, cuz even us boys from the street gotta take an R&R sumtimes, ya'know?"

"What did you just…um…say?" Victoria asked, approaching him. Tag looked her over, grinning. "Hey-hey-hey! What we got here? Dang, but youse a fine motha! How's about we go fo a ride, and rotate my tires a little, ba-"

"HEY! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, TAG!"

Tag looked up. Nick was hovering in the air, pointing down at him. "Back away from the car, mothertrucker!"

"Make me, honky! I got the cred to do what I want, when I want, man!"

"Will you just speak normally? I mean, I'd rather you speak Galactic than…well, whatever you're speaking now. Or the Tantalog dialect that Stitch and the rest of the cousins speak."

"Hey, this IS my standard, honky! Don't make me beat-down yo sorry-"

"Eegalagoo!" Stitch said, looking around. Nick looked down at the graffiti, nodding grudgingly.

"Yeah, the graffiti has style, but Tag, you've gotta stop doing your stuff on everyone's property!"

"Why? Gaba ika tasoopa?" Stitch asked.

"Look at it this way…how would YOU like it if someone wrote all over stuff that belonged to you?"

Stitch nodded, understanding.

"Besides, we gotta stop him before he starts doing this on other things like-"

"Ha-ha-ha!"

"HEY!"

Nick and Stitch looked over at Victoria, who was looking down at her t-shirt, which had been tagged. Tag was leaping away, laughing. "Like people. Get him!" Nick shouted. Stitch did, running quickly after him. Nick immediately took off after him away, flying through the air as fast as he could.

"Come back here!" Nick shouted. "Aggaba!" Stitch shouted. "No way, cuz!" Tag said. "Aint' gonna stop for nobody or nothin'!"

"How about for my blaster?"

Gantu was blocking Tag's path, with 561, 621, 627 at his side. 627 cracked his knuckles. "Well, well. So YOU'RE Tag. You don't look like much." "Stop him!" Gantu said, aiming his blaster. Tag leapt up at him. "You not gonna ice me, man! Gonna slap you upside yo thick heads!"

561 jumped up, slamming the poor Tag down with his tail, causing the poor experiment to fall down to the ground with a loud BAM, groaning heavily. "Now, capture him!" Gantu quickly pulled the containment capsule off his back, slamming it down on Tag, who bashed his hands against the insides. "Lemme out, man! Oh, when I get outta here, I'm stick my foot so far up yo butt, yer breath's gonna smell like paint, ya'heard?"

"I've heard enough. Let's go."

"Agabba!" Stitch shouted. "Cousin mockcheeba! Naga yours! Let cousin go!"

Gantu smirked. "Oh, please…and don't even TRY, kid." He looked up at Nick, who had a fireball primed and ready to throw. "Darn it! I coulda brought the heat…Stitch, you got any kinda plan?"

"Naga." Stitch said, hanging his head. Gantu laughed, holding the capsule that contained Tag up. "Hamsterviel will be very pleased with this capture!" He gloated.

Then Victoria suddenly ran up to him, banging on his knees with her fists. "You-let-him-go-right-now!" Gantu rolled his eyes. "Why do you even try, girl?"

"Snooty, now!" She shouted.

Snooty, who had snuck up from behind Gantu, suddenly shot forward, dive-bombing Gantu and hitting him square in the back. At the same time, Victoria ducked down and pressed herself up against Gantu's legs, meaning…Gantu fell to the ground with a VERY loud thud after tripping over Victoria and dropping the capsule, allowing Stitch to rush over and grab it. "Gotcha!" He said. "Well, get him!" growled Gantu, who stood up, reaching for his pistol. Victoria in the meanwhile, had run over to 627, and was pulling on his ears.

"OW! OW! Lemme go, you stupid inferior brat!"

"Okaaaay." She said, letting him go, and kicking him in the back, making him crash into 621 and 561. All three collapsed in a pile…and then Nick slammed on top of them with a Gaia Crush attack. He hopped off and brushed some imaginary dust free from his hands. "THAT'S the way you do it!" He said. "Nice job, Victoria! VERY nice moves. You must either take martial arts or watch a lot of action movies." "Heh…I kinda wasn't sure it would work. I did see that in a Jackie Chan film...I think." "Well it worked! Now, we gotta find Tag's one true place."

Tag, who had been freed, walked over to Victoria and held up his fist. "Girl…you a'ight. Gimme some skin, knock me, come on. Knock, babe." Victoria knocked fists with him, and he smiled. "Thanks, girl. You fo rizzle." "It's Victoria." "Okay, sure. Nice name." Victoria suddenly had an idea. "Hey Nick, Tag, Stitch, Snooty…I got an idea! How about…"

THE NEXT DAY, IN VICTORIA'S BACKYARD…

Victoria's mother and father gazed upon Victoria's big art project, simply amazed.

"Oh my! Victoria! This…this is just amazing! Honey, this is some amazing work!"

"I've never liked graffiti until I saw this kind. How'd you manage to show your mother's dimples on the canvas?"

"Oh, I had a great teacher here." Victoria said, hugging Tag. Snooty squeaked his approval, and Tag made the "sweet" sign with his hand. "So, can Tag stay here and teach me more about making art and how to talk street?" "Will he help me with the laundry?" "Miss, I can do bleach dying too!" "Oh, wow!" "Can he help me with my comic book work?" "If ya need some real street word, get it from me, ya' heard?" "Well, then…sure. He can stay with us."

Victoria ran over and hugged her mother and father tightly, who hugged their daughter back. Meanwhile, Stitch and Nick watched from a tree branch across the fence. "Well, He's got a home now." Nick said. "Victoria will take good care of him." "Ih." "And the graffiti's been all cleared up in town." "Ih." "I just hope Nani's not making Jumba work too hard at cleaning the roof."

As it were…

Pleakley barked out commands through a bullhorn he'd bought online, wearing his old uniform. "Come on! Put more "oomph" into your swipes! You call that cleaning? My pippik cleans faster than that, and she's been dead for fifteen years!"

"How come annoying noodle man is not helping?" Jumba said, wearing a dirty baseball cap, a messy, paint-covered t-shirt and jeans, as he scrubbed the house free of graffiti paint. "Nobody with IQ over 300 should have to scrub ANYTHING, older girl!"

"Because it's YOUR experiment that did the damage!" Nani shouted from the kitchen. "Now hurry up and get that "HERE" gone by the time it gets dark, or your spaghetti's gonna be cold!"

Mumbling, Jumba dipped his sponge back into his bucket of soapy water and kept scrubbing.

Lilo sighed and leaned back on the hammock, thinking. She'd seen a picture of Hamsterviel and Jumba in Jumba's lab, when she'd gone looking through it to find the aspirin.

And it had got her thinking.

Hamsterviel…

He had been at a birthday party. Jumba's birthday party. He had been smiling. A real, "Life is wonderful" smiling. Not a cruel smile. A happy one.

And he hadn't had a cape on. He'd had a blue vest that was slightly too big for him. And Jumba had had HAIR, so it was a really early photo, probably from their childhood days.

"What is Jumba not telling us about Hamsterviel?" Lilo thought.

**Author's Note:**

**WOOHOO! More than 2000 hits on this story more than 900 on my Viewtiful Joe fanfic! I feel happy...I feeel happyyyyy..._OW_! **

**Who hit me?!?**

**Anyway folks, here's your chance to earn a little "cred" of your own. Tag's got the designation 183 for a very specific, very fitting reason. If you want to hazard a guess, say it in your review! The first one to figure it out wins this little contest and their name will appear in a future chapter!...and in a very special way. So good luck, and be sure to review my story!**


	30. Jesstifier

**Author's Note:**

**Well, nobody figured out why Tag has the designation (the number 183, for those who are unsure) he's got so far, but I'm not giving up! I'm giving you all one more chapter to figure it out! Here's a clue: Tag's designed for graffiti. Think along those lines. First one to come up with the answer wins! **

**Now, on with the story!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

JESSTIFIER

627 bounded up and down, bouncing all around Gantu's ship. "The concert is tonight. The concert is tonight! THE CONCERT IS TONIGHT! WOOHOOO!"

Gantu, who was reading the paper, groaned. He felt like a parent raising rowdy kids. Only instead of being out of school by the middle of June, the trogs were out of school _all the time_. "627, did you eat coconut cake this morning?"

"Shut up!" 627 said, who couldn't sit still.

"No wait…you had coffee, didn't you!" Gantu said, pointing an accusing flipper right at him.

"NO. I'm off that stuff for at least a month!...I had a Mountain Dew."

"Stolen, no doubt." 561 said, who was slowly eating an English muffin for breakfast.

"I BOUGHT it."

"Sure you did, and cucumbers go well on fish sandwiches." 625 said.

621 was in the middle of reading the newspaper. He scratched his chin and looked over the front page "Hmm. School gets out in 9 days, Red Sox won a game, my stocks are going up…oh, this is interesting." "Huh? What is-wait, you own stocks?"

"Listen to this. Quote: "Jess Winfield, of Reduced Shakespeare Company fame, is coming to Kokaua Town today. He will be giving an inspirational speech at our school to all aspiring thespians. Mrs. Edmonds, local real estate agent and RSC fanatic had this to say: "Our town looks forward to seeing Mr. Winfield with great enthusiasm!". Preparations have already been made and he will be arriving at 11:20 in the morning. End quote."

"Hmm…Jess Winfield?...for some reason, that name sounds familiar…" 621 raised an eyebrow. "627, have you ever seen the Reduced Shakespeare Company?" "Who was he?" "You don't know who Shakespeare is?" "No." "Jeez. Go read a book." "How about I surf the net instead? Your ship's got the internet, right?"

"Yes." Gantu said, groaning. He was SURE to get viruses if he let the trog use his computer. 627 was going to get distracted and would probably go looking for porn sites in fifteen seconds. "But the computer is down." He lied. "I need to get it fixed." "It's running fine." 625 said, clicking on the keyboard. "I'm checking my mail right now! I gotta email this guy "Jesstifier" back. We've been emailing each other for a while."

"Six-Two-Fiiive!" Gantu whispered harshly. "You stupid trog! Now he's going to-" "Outta the way!" 625 said, pushing Gantu aside. "I need to look up some dude named Shakespeare."

Meanwhile…

"Cool! Jess Winfield!" Nick said, putting the paper down. "Maybe he'll do a bit from the Reduced Shakespeare Company!" "You've seen them?" Nani asked. "Oh yeah! I got a DVD of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged" for Christmas!"

Nick also knew that Jess Winfield did a lot of work for the Lilo and Stitch series, so he was REALLY excited to see the man behind the cartoon in person.

"Ah, Shakespeare!" Pleakley said, getting a dreamy look in his eye. "The genius! The artist! The fashion plate!" "Huh?" "He's so well dressed whenever I see him on the television or in books! Tell me, where does he live?"

"He's buried at the Church in Stratford, England." Lilo said. "And if you wanna talk to him…" She grinned. "You'll have to find a creepy voodoo lady to raise him from the dead, like I saw in "Attack of the Voodoo Zombies"!" "You watch waaaay too many horror flicks, Lilo." Nani said. "Why can't you ever watch something normal, like…uh…I dunno…Telletubbies?"

"Mom, that stuff's for children! I'm a KID, not a child."

Jumba, who was just trying to drink his hot chocolate in peace, blinked stupidly as his brain tried to make sense of what Lilo had said. He got a headache and decided not to comment.

"You still watch waaaay too many horror flicks, Lilo. You should cut them out for a while or something."

"Dictator!" Lilo shouted, hopping down from her chair and stabbing a poin ting hand in the air as she and Stitch stormed out of the kitchen. "You are the guardian of the revolution in this house!" "Ih!" Stitch agreed.

Nick sipped the apple juice he had and tried not to laugh at the expression on Nani's face. "Well, he's gonna be giving a speech today, with only two days left until school's out. I wonder what he'll say?"

"It's nice to see so many smiling faces here." Jess Winfield said, dressed in a polo shirt, khaki pants and nice shoes. He had a backpack next to him. He had a slightly frazzled beard, a moustache and was wearing glasses. He was a pretty friendly-looking guy.

"I'm Jess Winfield, founding member of the Reduced Shakespeare Company and publisher of the book "What Would Shakespeare Do?". How is everyone today?"

"We're fine!" The kids said. Charlie raised his hand.

"What's it like being on the stage, Mr. Winfield?"

"Oh, it's very exciting, you know. All eyes are on you, people waiting to hear your every word. And having your friends helping out on stage makes the pressure easier to bear as well. I also enjoyed writing my book a lot, in case you were wondering. Any other questions?"

Nick, who had a big, nagging question in the back of his head, raised his hand.

"Have you ever tried your hand at animation?" he asked.

Jess turned thoughtful. "Well, you know…I have. But I wouldn't know what to draw. I've been thinking about some ideas for an animated movie but…well…"

He sighed, then brushed his hair back. "Anyway, I'm here to talk about…"

After school was over, Lilo and Nick walked out, calling out to Stitch, who happened to be right next to Jess Winfield, who had walked over to take a look at Stitch.

"Oh, this is your dog?" He asked. He looked surprised, but in a nice way. "It's a very…well, cool dog."

"Thanks! His name's Stitch."

Stitch barked to further prove his doggyness. Jess nodded. "Hmm…you don't mind if I draw him?" He asked, pulling out a drawing pad and a pencil from his backpack. "Oh, go ahead." Nick said. "Stitch, do you mind?"

Stitch shook his head. Jess raised an eyebrow, but then shrugged and started drawing. About ten minutes later…

"What do you think?" He asked. Nick was amazed, as was Lilo and Stitch. "It's…it's amazing! It looks just like Stitch!" "Oooooh!" Stitch said. Jess looked at Stitch again, the shrugged once more. "I really do want to try my hand at drawing cartoons for kids, but I can never think of what to draw. But…drawing him…it is a him, right?"

Lilo nodded.

"Drawing him feels natural! Can I draw you two together?" "Sure." Lilo said.

Nick sat down and watched Jess draw the two together, and smiled. Jess seemed like a really nice guy. When he was done he showed the finished result, which was so amazing it was almost a photo.

"Wow! You really should take up drawing." Lilo said. "Well, thanks. Maybe I will someday. You know, if you want to email me some things you think I'd be good at drawing, I've got a website and everything."

He pulled off a piece of paper from the pad. "Here." He wrote some stuff down. "My user name on is Jesstifier." "Jesstifier?" Lilo said, looking as if she'd heard it before. "Oh my god! You're a member of "Yeah." "So am I! I'm Aloha Spirit!" "Oh, wow! Aloha Spirit? I've read some of your blogs! You're Lilo, huh?" "Yep!" "And so that must be Nick. Wow, I've heard a lot about him!"

Lilo blushed. "Uh…well it's nice to finally meet you in person, Mr. Winfield." "Same here." Nick said, shaking the man's hand. "We'd better be getting home." "Wouldn't want you to be late for anything." Jess said. "See you later, kids." "Bye-bye!" Lilo said as Jess walked towards his car. "He's a nice guy." "Yeah…but he seems a little bit unhappy to me…"

A FEW HOURS LATER, IN GANTU'S SHIP...

SandwichMaster625: Talk to me!

Jesstifier: Hey man, what up. How R things?

SandwichMaster625: Pretty good, pretty good, n u?

Jesstifier: I'm cool, I'm cool. Kauai is a wonderful place to visit.

SandwichMaster625: Yeah, I should know. I live here!

Jesstifier: Oh really? Do you know a girl named Lilo?

SandwichMaster625: Do I? You bet I do! And her dog and her sweetheart!

Jesstifier: He doesn't know it yet, though.

SandwichMaster625: I've checked out Lilo's blog on Myspace. Nice stuff.

Jesstifier: Say, I got the sandwich recipe and tried it out. Tasted awesome.

SandwichMaster625: Well I AM the Sandwich Master.

Jesstifier: True that.

ngrey651: Hey there!

SandwichMaster625: Oh, hey ngrey651!

Jesstifier: Who are you?

ngrey651: I'm a close friend of SandwichMaster625. Nice to meet you Jesstifier.

Jesstifier: Ditto.

ngrey651: So Jess, can I ask you a question?

Jesstifier: Shoot.

ngrey651: Do you ever feel alone in the world? I feel that way sometimes. Feel it bad.

Jesstifier: Everybody does, but yeah, sometimes I feel it bad too. I don't know why.

ngrey651: Is your life satisfying?

Jesstifier: It feels like something's missing…something really important, y'know?

Aloha Spirit: Hey there!

ngrey651: Aloha, Lilo!

Jesstifier: Wait…are you…oh, you are! You're Nick, aren't you?

ngrey651: Yep! I fooled you completely! Hey, Lilo's sent you some pictures of things.

Aloha Spirit: You'll really like them. They're Stitch's cousins.

SandwichMaster625: Oh, my old buddy's coming. I'd better go. Ciao!

_SandwichMaster625 has left the chat room._

Aloha Spirit: See ya, 625. Hold on, my uncle's calling me.

Jesstifier: Tell Jumba I said hi. I gotta go too.

ngrey651: Ditto. Aloha, everyone!

_Aloha Spirit has left the chat room._

_Jesstifier has left the chat room._

_ngrey651 has left the chat room. _

Jess went to his email and checked it out. Sure enough, there was an email from Aloha Spirit, with an attachment.

"Let's see…oh…my…God! WOW! **WOW**!"

Meanwhile…

"I am presenting to you…experiment 354."

354 was a light grey experiment, with frizzy black hair and large glasses. He had a well-rounded head and a polo-shirt imprint on his body. Not to mention that he had slightly goofy teeth. He also had very clean fingernails.

"He's very clean, isn't he?" Pleakley said, with a hint of affection.

354 happened to have a large, round, white belly, and his fingers were pointed like pencil tips. He looked up at Pleakley, tilted his head, and suddenly began scratching like mad on his stomach. A few moments later…

"Look, it's you! And MAN do you need a shower!"

"HEY! I don't look like that!...do I?"

"Is designed much like Experiment 214, but while 214 takes only bad pictures, 354 DRAWS only bad pictures of people…in spare time. In war time, he sneaks into enemy buildings and draws building specs, heh-heh-heh! And experiment is also good at drawing portraits of me, to boot!"

354 began rubbing his palm against his stomach, erasing what had been drawn. Then he started drawing again. This time he drew Nick's body. "Oh jeez, I thought I'd lost weight!" Nick said upon seeing the picture. "Not enough for 354 to make fun of you, heh-heh-heh." Jumba chuckled. "You're on to talk." Nani said, poking an accusative finger into Jumba's stomach. "A little dieting wouldn't hurt."

Meanwhile…

"This…these creatures are amazing!" Jess said, sketching down every single one of them onto his sketchpad, from Angel to PJ to Woops. "They're just…WOW!" Hands moving furiously, he sketched so hard and fast his pencil broke, and he had to get another. Drawing them gave him a sense of freedom, of accomplishment, that he'd never had before.

He had to draw more! He had to see these creatures in person!

But wait…these were Stitch's cousins…but they obviously weren't dogs, so then…what if…?

Jess put the sketchpad into his backpack and ran out the door of his hotel room, grabbing his room key and stuffing it into his pocket.

Back at Gantu's ship…

"Only three more hours till the concert!" 627 said. 621 brushed his Mohawk back and looked in the mirror. "Okay, you can do this. You can get over Angel. You can do this." 625, who was right behind him, patted him on the back. "Just relax, cuz. Now remember, how are you gonna get on the scene?" "Like a sex machine!" "EXACTLY! Now go put on some deodorant and lemme make you my special "Lucky in Love" sandwich." "I don't really feel like a sandwich." "It's got steaaaaak!" "Okay, deal."

Gantu paced on the floor. "What are YOU so nervous about, big guy?" 625 asked. "I'm a little bit worried. Hamsterviel hasn't called to yell at us all day, even though experiment 354 was activated!" "Yeah, it IS kinda weird. But hey, good for us! We could use a day without his whining. Come on, I'll make you an egg salad." "…all right. Just…not too much mayo."

The doorbell rang at Lilo's house. Heartwing, who was there with Angel, went to answer it. He opened the door.

"Hi." He said.

Jess Winfield stared down at Heartwing, gaping. "You're…you're a DRAGON!"

Heartwing suddenly realized that this was a total stranger. A nice-looking one, but still a stranger. He covered his mouth in an "oops" gesture. Lilo gasped. Nani quickly ran over to Jess. "Uh, I'm betting you're wondering what's going on here…" Jumba ran upstairs. "I will be getting memory eraser device! Tie man down!" Pleakley screamed. "AAA! The secret's out! Duck, cover, WAA!" "I thought that was your advice for earthquakes?" Nick said, confused. "It'll work for this too! WAA!"

Jess just stood there, taking it all in, slightly confused expression on his face.

Jumba called down from the stairs: "Out of Double A batteries! We have any?"

"No." Nick called out. "Blitznack. Am coming down with hammer to do this old-fashiony way."

Nick immediately shouted out "NO! No-no-no! We'll just explain this to Mr. Winfield!"

Jess sat down on the couch, taking everything in. "Hi." Angel said from across the room. She held up a glass of water. "Need a drink?" "Uh, yeah." He said. "This is…just wow! What ARE you?" Lilo sighed. "I guess the cat's out of the bag. Stitch is really an illegal genetic experiment from outer space, my aunt and uncle are aliens, and Nick here is from a different reality of Earth, one where we're all characters in a cartoon."

"That's drawn by you, Mr. Winfield." Nick said. "That's one of the biggest reasons I wanted to see you."

Jess let out a long sigh. He looked down at 354, who was looking up at him. He saw the picture of himself that 354 had just drawn on his belly. "Hey…that's...really, really neat! What do you think of this?"

He pulled out his sketchpad and showed it to 354. 354 looked it over, and then started clapping happily. "I think he likes your work." Nick said. Jess rubbed his chin. "Um…I don't know how to say this, but…can I adopt your alien? This one?" "How come?" Lilo asked. "I've always liked cartoons, and I always wanted a pet. And since…uh…what is this name of this, uh, this-" "His official designation is 354." Jumba said, coming down from the stairs. "And I am having hunch that you two would be very good together, since both of you are aspiring cartoonists, heh-heh."

Jess's eyes lit up. "Really? You'll…you'll let me keep him?" "Sure…but we gotta give him a name." Nick said. "Ih." Stitch said, nodding vigorously. Lilo scratched her head. "How about…Jesstifier?" "Naming it after Jess's user name?" "Yep!" Nick grinned. "It's perfect. Just perfect." "Thank you!" Jess said, picking Jesstifier up and twirling him around, making the little guy laugh. "Thank you so much!" "So what are you going to do now?"

Jess sat down with Jesstifier on his lap. "Well, can I hear the whole story? Everything about you and Stitch?" He asked Lilo. "Sure. You see, it all started…"

THAT NIGHT, AT THE CONCERT…

Nick sighed happily as the music began. "Well, Jess is off. I hope his idea works." "I hope so too." "Too bad he couldn't stay for the concert." "Yeah, the music's great, huh Stitch?" "Ih!" "So David, you having a good time?" "Oh yeah, I love concerts." "So um…I was thinking…maybe tomorrow, we could go surfing?" "Sounds good to me! Oh, look at that! His guitar is on fire!" "Now THAT is some special effect!" "Pah! Is simple illusion. Probably primitive holographic projector at work…though am having to admit, fireworks are very impressive." "Hey wait, do you guys see who I see in that front row?" "No…way." "Huh? Cousins? Brother? Big Dummy?" "Wow. Who knew they'd be here?"

"THIS IS AWESOME!" "I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!" "…hmm." "I'm so close, I can reach up and tou-" "DOWN IN FRONT!" "Sheesh, sheesh. Stupid humans. It's not my fault I'm so tall." "Dude, why are you so tall?" "Uh, I'm Samoan." "Oh."

**BGM: We Didn't Start the Fire, by Billy Joel**

_Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio! _

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television,  
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe!

"Billy Joel rocks!" Nick yelled. "Yeah, I know!" Lilo yelled back.

_Rosenbergs, H Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom,  
Brando, The King And I, and The Catcher In The Rye! _

Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new queen!  
Maciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye!

We didn't start the fire!

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev,  
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc! _

Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron,  
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock!

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team!  
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland!

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev,  
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez!

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac,  
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge On The River Kwai! _

Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball  
Starkwether, Homicide, Children of Thalidomide!

_  
Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia  
Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go! _

U2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy  
Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo!

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_Hemingway, Eichman, Stranger in a Strange Land,  
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion! _

Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania,  
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson!

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British Politician sex!  
J.F.K… blown away…what else do I have to say?

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again,  
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock!_

_  
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airline,  
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan! _

Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide,  
Foreign debts, homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz!

_  
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law,  
Rock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_But when we are gone, it will still burn on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_It was always burning since the world's been turning!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

_No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it!_

_We didn't start the fire!_

Everyone cheered. 627 jumped up and down, drool flying everywhere. Gantu had a bottle thrown at him because he was so tall, and Nick grabbed Lilo's hand.

"That was so COOL, wasn't-"

"That was just wonder-"

They suddenly noticed they were holding hands, and turned beet red.

Far, far away, on a plane, Jess sat in his seat, with 354 hiding in the overhead storage bin, which was slightly open. He was snoozing slightly, but Jess was wide away, and calling up a close friend, aflame with a vision…

Ring! Ring!

"Hello, Chris? It's me, Jess. Listen, have I got an idea for you. And I've got some great things to back them up, you've gotta see them!"

"What's the idea? Is it for the animated movie I've been thinking about?"

"Yep! You're not gonna believe the idea I've got!"

"Okay, then, lay it on me."

"Well, it's like this. It's about a little Hawaiian girl, who lost her parents in a car crash. She lives alone with her sister, and she's eccentric and lonely…"

"Uh-huh, I'm liking it so far, keep going!"

"And meanwhile, on a planet far away, an alien evil genius is on trial for creating an illegal genetic experiment, who's only instinct is to destroy anything he touches. The experiment escapes from custody…"

When school was over, a week into vacation, Nick logged onto the internet to check his mail at Yahoo. He noticed something in the "Entertainment" section and clicked on it.

He smiled.

"Chris Sanders of Disney fame announced today that he was currently beginning the production of a new animated movie, one which he said was inspired by his good friend and co-director, Jess Winfield, of Reduced Shakespeare Company fame. The movie's title has not been released as of yet, but production has begun and it is expected to be a "heartwarming" and "freshly funny" movie, in the words of Jess Winfield, who said he was inspired by his recent visit to Kauai."

"Heh. Thanks Jess. Thanks for everything."

**Author's Note: This chapter was dedicated to Jess Winfield, writer for the Lilo and Stitch TV series, Producer of Stitch! the Movie and Leroy and Stitch, and great actor of Reduced Shakespeare Company fame. Not only was he nice enough to write back to my emails, but he was civil too. Thanks, Jess. Thanks for all you've done. Your work was a great inspiration.**

**Oh, and my legal adviser wants me to say say this: I don't own Lilo and Stitch the Series, the movies, etc... I'm just writing a fanfic. Thank you. **

**And _mahalo_ again, Jess.**


	31. Squawk and the Trickster

**Author's Note:**

**Well, it's been a week. Nice try to everyone who made a guess, but nobody figured it out, so...too bad. Now, the reason why Tag is number 183! It's very simple...**

**Taki 183. A famous New York Graffiti artist. And since the number 183 is in the "civic disturbance" series and graffiti is usually a civic disturbance...ta da! So now you know why Tag is Experiment 183! **

**On with the story!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

SQUAWK AND THE TRICKSTER

Nick was in the shower, and as usual, was singing. It was June 30th, and it was sure to be a very memorable day. It even started out memorable!

To Nick anyway.

"Do-do-do-da! So she said "What's the problem, baby?" What's the problem? I don't know, well…maybe I'm in love! LOVE! Think about it, every time I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout her! How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it, cuz I can't igno_OOOOHHHHHHHH_!"

Cold water a-go-go, baby!

Nick leapt out of the shower again. "OKAY, WHO DID IT **THIS** TIME?"

Down in the basement…

"So THAT is the valve. Heh-heh-heh." "Hee-hee-hee! Oh, Nick's gonna be so maaaad!" Lilo giggled. "Hey, should be knowing better than to shower when evil genius still awake." Jumba said in his defense. Stitch sniggered. He'd been the one to twist the valve. A few moments of laughing and giggling later Nick stormed down the steps from the bathroom to the living room, and then he went down into the basement, facing all three of them, wearing his bathrobe and still dripping.

"Okay, who did it? Who twisted the valve?"

All three whistled innocently.

"Ooh, you just wait! I'll get you back somehow!"

He stormed out of the basement door, going outside. A droplet of water flew off his body. It fell down…down…

PLOP.

Onto a white capsule.

Nick whipped around and gasped as an experiment grew into being. Jumba, Stitch and Lilo ran out to go see what it was.

A moment later, they had their answer. The experiment flapped its wings, squawking slightly. It was parrot-like, its feathers almost doubling as hands, and it's small talons gripped the ground, flashing gold. Its feathers were red, and it had big black eyes, and a golden beak. It also had a black vest and an eye-patch on it's left eye. It said "Squaaawwwk! Pieces of eight! Pieces of Eight! Set sail, me harties!" and then looked up at Nick, flapping onto his shoulder.

"Uh…who's this?" "Ah, that is experiment 004, Squawk! From 001 series! Early, very early experiment, designed for life on high seas, searching for treasure, heh-heh-heh!" Squawk let out another incredibly annoying and loud squawk, making Jumba cringe. "Although, loud squawk was annoying flaw in programming. Still, 004 can sense gold and valuable metals up to fifty miles away!" Lilo gasped. "Wow!" "Ooooh." Stitch said. "Too bad there's no treasure on the island." Nick said. "Where would he belong?" "Maybe we can have him help out with Finder, finding lost jewelry." "Good idea! I'll take him to the beach, uh…right after I get dressed."

Meanwhile…

621 fingered the little blue experiment pod he had in his black claws. He placed it down on the table and scratched his chest. "Well, we finally found an experiment before the girl did."

625 chuckled. "Experiment 100, Trickster. I can't believe it's really Trickster." "Trickster?" Gantu asked. "Who's he?" asked 627. Both were wearing a "Retro 4Ever" t-shirt. 561, who was sitting in a chair, was picking at his toenails. "Yes. I remember him. Another one of the few experiments who didn't fear me. Go ahead, drop him into a glass of water."

625 got a glass of water from the kitchen and dropped 100's pod into it. A few moments later, a rising white orb gave birth to…

Gantu blinked. It looked like a small mammal. He had earrings, clawed paw/hands, and walked on its hind legs. It had a pointed snout, a coyote's face, and fairly long whiskers. His big golden eyes sparkled, and he was light brown in color. His ears were fairly big too. He flicked back his gold earrings with one paw/hand, and grinned, showing finely sharp teeth. He also had a necklace on, with a stick-figure flutist with spiked hair playing on it, a nice little piece.

"Well…what have we got here?" He spoke in Galactic, but had a sort of tricky accent, that seemed both wise and untrustworthy at the same time. "I recognize some of you. You're 621, you're 625…oh, and what do we have here? 561, what a surprise! I thought Jumba dehydrated you!" "We meet again, Trickster." Trickster raised a paw/hand. "I'd love to stay, but I have places to be, mostly away from 621." "I told you the last time I saw you, I forgive you for tricking me into drinking that stuff." "Really?" "Really-really." "Okay. Hey 625, how's 624? She still a lovely maiden of pink?"

625's expression turned angry. "Oh…are you two not together anymore?" 621 snarled and shoved him. "SHUT UP!" Trickster raised his paw/hands. "Hey, easy! No need for violence. Anyhow…I've got places to be. See ya!"

He clapped his paw/hands, and suddenly vanished in a FWINK sound. "What the? What just happened?" "Trickster can teleport, too." 621 said. "It's a defense mechanism Jumba installed." "I wonder where he's going…" 625 mused.

Lilo, Stitch and Nick walked to the library, depressed. They had to get their summer reading done before they could go to the beach, at least that's what Nani had said. So there they were, on their way to check out a book.

"I wish my kumu would let me read Dracula." Lilo said. "Kumu?" Nick asked. "It means "Teacher" in Hawaiian." She said. "Teaching is good!" Stitch said. "True that, I want to be one myself." Nick said. "Bootifa!" Stitch replied. They opened the door, said hello to the librarian, and then walked towards the children's section, which was across from the history books…

And that's when they saw him. Trickster. He was leaning against the shelves, and when he saw Stitch his eyes widened.

"Ah! Another one of my fellow experiments, no doubt! I am Experiment 100, a pleasure to meet you!" He bowed. "What the? Another cousin?" Nick asked. "And what's he saying?" "He said "Nice to meet you"." Lilo said. "Hiii." Stitch said. "This is 626, but he likes being called Stitch." Trickster nodded, and switched from speaking Galactic to Basic. "Well nice to meet you, Stitch. And you two…uh…what are you?" "Humans." Nick said. "Oh. Humans. I've heard of you! What are your names?" "I'm Lilo Pelekai." "I'm Nick Grey."

Trickster walked over and shook their hands. "I'm pleased to meet you. What pray tell, are you doing in here?" "Oh, we've got some reading to do before we can drop off Squawk at the beach." "Squawk? Experiment 004? The treasure finder?" "Yep!" "Why are you dropping him off somewhere? Why not use his talents?" "There's no treasure on Kauai!" Lilo said.

Trickster broke into a huge grin. "Ah, not true. There happens to be a HUGE treasure trove, ripe for the taking…"

Nick's eyes went wide. "No way!" "Really?" Lilo asked. "Really-really. Have you ever heard of Captain Cook?" "Yeah, the famous European captain who discovered "The Sandwich Islands". That's him, right?" "Yes. Kauai was the first Hawaiian island Cook landed on. He enjoyed his time here, no doubt, being thought of as a God named "Lono". He was excepted with great hospitality, and he left the island, leaving nothing behind…except for one small thing." "What did he lose?"

Trickster smiled. "A valuable chest. Filled with all the jewels and gold that he'd accumulated on the trip. You see, while he was bidding farewell to his island wife, who bore him a son eventually, one of his men was off stealing the chest. The ship cast off, sailed out aways…and the man took the chest out to get a better look inside…"

Nick asked "And did he lose the chest then?" "Exactly." Trickster said, pointing at Nick. "The man was holding it in the air, entranced by the glow of the jewels. He tripped on a rope, fell, and the chest snapped shut, flying out of his hands and into the water, where it sank. The treasure inside wasn't too much in SIZE, but in quality…ah, a not-so-small fortune it was! And now finding it would make you quite comfortable for the rest of your life, children."

Lilo suddenly had a look in her eye. "Hey, Nick…are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Treasure hunt?" Nick suggested. Stitch grinned. "Ih! Treasure hunt!" "You bet! Squawk's going to get to find some treasure after all! But first we gotta get a boat…"

At the beach, Nani was talking to David at her rental hut. "So, I had a great time last night." "Me too." David said. "Uh, Nani…I was wondering…we've been dating for a few months now, right?" "Yeah." "Well, see, I was thinkin' that maybe…oh! Hey Lilo! Hey Stitch! Hey Nick! How's it?"

Nick smiled. "Oh, we're cool, we're cool. We just need to rent a little diving equipment and a boat." "Well I can give you the diving stuff, but I can't-heeey…why do you need diving equipment and a boat?" "We're after sunken treasure!" Lilo said, excited.

Little did she know that someone else who had gone to take in some rays was listening.

"Treasure, huh?" Myrtle Edmonds said, pulling the sunglasses off of her eyes. She snuck behind the shack and listened to the conversation.

"Captain Cook lost a small treasure chest off the coast of Kauai, and we're going to go look for it!" "Ih! Treasure hunt!" Nani raised an eyebrow. "Really? Treasure?" Lilo nodded."Yep! So can we have the diving stuff? Pleeeaaaase?" "Pleeeeaaaase?" Stitch asked, bending on his knees. "With sugar on top?" Nick added. Nani rolled her eyes. "All right, hold on. I'll let you have some diving equipment. But you're on your own for a boat."

Luckily, that was where Jumba came in.

Jumba was quite intrigued with the idea of the treasure hunt. He rubbed his chin, thoughtful." "So, you are on treasure hunt? Heh-heh…should be very interesting to see what Squawk finds." "So you'll help us?" Lilo asked. Jumba nodded. "Have a boat ready for you in, say, an hour and a half. Meet me at the beach then. Now go! Shoo! Have evil genius boat to make! Except for you, Nick. Am needing your help with this."

He shooed Lilo and Stitch out of his lab and then got back to work. "Now, let us see…hmm. First, before making boat, am going to need to do some adjustments to Experiment 628. Nick, could you take him out of the containment vault I have him in?"

Nick nodded, feeling slightly tingly. He walked over to a reddish-pink vault and opened it up, pulling out a small blue capsule. There it was. Experiment 628.

"Place him over in that Experiment Pod Containment Capsule that is near keyboard. And be careful when closing the lid!"

Nick did, and the capsule vanished through a slot, going into the computer it was connected to.

"Okay, now to get to work! Will be making a few minor changes to his appearance, nothing major." He turned to Nick. "Are you having any good music I might be listening to?"

Nick furrowed his brow in thought. "Gee, where to start?...oh, I know. How about a song from the movie you debuted in?"

Nick looked at his watch and pressed a few buttons until the word "Soundtrack" under "Genre" came up. He scrolled down and found the song, pressing the play button.

**BGM: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, by Kamehameha Schools Children's Chorus & Mark Keali'i Ho'omalu **

_Aloha e aloha e!  
'Ano 'ai ke aloha e…  
Aloha ae aloha e!  
A nu ay ki aloha e… _

There's no place I'd rather be…  
Then on my surfboard out at sea!  
Lingering in the ocean blue…  
And If I had one wish come true…  
I'd surf till the sun sets  
Beyond the horizon!

A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi  
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!

_  
Flyin by on the Hawaiian roller coaster ride!_

Jumba began to smile. "I think I LIKE this song!" 

A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi,  
La we mai iko papa he na lu,  
Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha,  
O ka moana hanupanupa!  
Lalala i kala hanahana,  
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one,  
Helehele mai kakou e…  
Hawaiian roller coaster ride!

There's no place I'd rather be…  
Than on the seashore dry, wet free!  
On golden sand is where I lay…  
And if I only had my way…  
I'd play' til the sun sets  
Beyond the horizon!

Lalala i kala hanahana  
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one!

_  
It's time to try the Hawaiian Roller coaster ride! _

Jumba began typing up a storm on the keyboard, his every stroke matching the song's rhythm, while Nick lip-synced the song with a screwdriver acting as a microphone. 

Hang loose, hang ten, howzit, shake a shaka,  
No worry, no fear, ain't no biggie braddah!  
Cuttin' in, cuttin' up, cuttin' back, cuttin' out,  
Frontside, backside, goofy footed, wipe out!

_Looking for the wipeout! _

_  
Let's get jumpin', surf's up and pumpin'  
Coastin' with the motion of the ocean!  
Whirlpools swirling, cascading, twirling,  
Hawaiian roller coaster ride! _

There's no place I'd rather be…  
Then on my surfboard out at sea!  
Lingering in the ocean blue…  
And if I had one wish come true…  
I'd surf till the sun sets  
Beyond the horizon!

A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi  
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!

_  
Flyin by on the Hawaiian roller coaster ride! _

A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi…  
La we mai iko papa he na lu…  
Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha…  
O ka moana hanupanupa!  
Lalala i kala hanahana…  
Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one…  
Helehele mai kakou e…  
Hawaiian roller coaster ride!

"Done!" Jumba said, pressing enter on the keyboard. "All complete. Now to work on boat. Pass me that screwdriver, and then hand me that box of titanium alloy over in the corner there."

"No problem!" Nick said, lifting the box up with one hand. "Boy, being super strong ROCKS."

However, not all was well in town. When Nick and Jumba arrived at the beach ten minutes before Lilo and Stitch did, they found a…problem.

A man in a three-piece suit stood in front of a camera and cleared his throat. "Ah-hem. Okay. We're on in one…two…Good day, Kohnahowa Town! Today is an epic day, for as we clearly by the large throngs of boats and ocean-going people, we have the makings of the first ever Hawaiian Treasure Hunt! Earlier today, reports came out that a small chest filled with valuable treasure, one that was lost by THE Captain James Cook, has finally been found, off the coast of Kauai. Although there is little information regarding the EXACT whereabouts, the information was apparently enough to get large crowds interested in going on what appears to be an island-wide search for Captain Cook's Chest! We're here with Ms. Wendy Pleakley, who's going out with her good friends, Victoria Alyson Chase and Keoni Jameson, son of James Jameson, who is providing them with his personal schooner. Ms. Pleakley, how do you plan on finding this fantastic chest of treasure?"

Pleakley, who was wearing a red dress, brown wig and black shoes, fiddled with his pearl necklace that he had on and smiled at the camera. "Well, Keoni's father was _very_ generous. He's supplying the best treasure-tracking equipments that money can buy!"

The reporter nodded, walking over to a large boat where Myrtle Edmonds, her posse and her moher were, all inside the boat and getting ready to leave. "Ms. Edmonds! Is it true your daughter knows the exact location of the treasure?" "Oh, well my daughter is a brilliant girl." Ms. Edmonds said. "And I was so proud when I heard that she'd found out about the chest before anyone else." "So it is true!" "No comment." "Fair enough. The mayor himself is on his way to the beach to give a speech before allowing boats to go search for the treasure. It's a perfect photo opportunity for him. And now for a few words from the good people at Billing's Bookstore…"

Jumba groaned. "Annoying red-head found-ed out about chest, and now she has told EVERYONE!" "Well not EVERYONE has Squawk." Nick said. "With him, we'll find that treasure, no fear!"

Lilo, Stitch and Squawk finally arrived a few minutes later. Lilo was nervous when she found out there were so many people, but Nick calmed her down, saying that Squawk would find the treasure. "Besides, it's bad for your health to worry. They've proven it in studies." "This is true." Jumba said. "In any case, just make sure Squawk does not get stolen. Keep a close eye on him." "Don't worry!" Lilo said. "We'll make sure he's safe!" "Ih! Cousin naga get stolen!"

Meanwhile…not very far away…

"Well Gantu old buddy, I gotta admit, out of all your ideas, this one…is the worst."

"Oh, please. It's foolproof! Those idiots will lead us right to the treasure, AND we'll bag two experiments to boot! It's foolproof!"

"They're gonna see us coming from a mile away!"

Both Gantu and 625 were in a rowboat. Gantu was wearing a life preserver that was too small, and 625 was wearing one that was too big. Diving equipment was in the center of the boat. 627 and 621 weren't there, and 561 had had "other priorities".

"With THIS, they WON'T see us." He held up a small round metal computer. "Is…is that a…" 625 was amazed. "A Hyper Inc Cloaking Device? We're you get that? That stuff costs thousands of dollars!" "A gift from Hamsterviel. He said if he gets the treasure it'll be worth far more on the black market than on the Earth market. AND he's offered a deal I couldn't refuse." "What's that?" "He'll TRIPLE my pay and upgrade the cable." "Wow. Having an evil madman for a sponsor has some nice fringe benefits." "Yes indeed. Now just don't get the computer wet. I'll stick it in my pocket. Row quietly so we won't be seen when we follow the trog, the boy and the girl." "All right, all right." 625 said. "Just promise me you'll buy me a sandwich when this is over."

Meanwhile…

"Man the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"

"How on Earth did I get stuck with YOU?"

"Man the plank!"

"Our ship IS a plank."

"And I'll make you WALK it if you don't shut your trap!"

621 and 627 were on a large piece of wood, a makeshift raft that had been hastily built. 621 was as giddy as a schoolgirl, imagining what amazing things the treasure would enable him to have. And 627 just wanted something shiny to play with.

Now 627 was beginning to regret it though. 621 was WAAAY too sea-nutty.

Meanwhile, the ships and boats had begun to take off. Pleakley, Victory, Snooty, Tag and Keoni were all sailing toward the south end of Kauai, starting their search there. To start the search off right, Pleakley decided change clothes. Now he had on a pirate's bandanna, a frilled white shirt, and boots. He tried to put on an eyepatch too, but after walking into the mainsail he changed his mind.

Lilo, Stitch and Nick were all sailing in Jumba's specially designed ship, the "Spirit of Science". It was a yacht, but the hull was made of titanium, and it hovered on the water with anti-gravity pads instead of riding the waves. The masts were stainless steel, and the wooden floors were shined to a polish. And, of course…

The wheel.

Stitch was captured up completely in it. And when I say he was caught up in it, I mean that literally.

"Stitch, how on EARTH did you manage to get your head through the slots?"

"Heeeelllllpppp!" Stitch howled.

In any case, the search was on! Lilo looked to Squawk, who scanned the horizon. "Argh, maties. The wind's a blowin' arr way, and I be thinkin' that the skies look clear and good, meaning good sailin, me maties!" "Do you ALWAYS talk like that?" "Arr." "That mean yes?" Nick asked. Squawk nodded, then suddenly stiffened. "Argh, maties! I be sensin' something thattaway! Hard a starboard!" He pointed to the right. "Hard a starboard it is!"

Meanwhile…

"This stinks. Our little plank's going nowhere."

627 and 621 lazily drifted on the waters, with boats all around them, breezing right by.

627 had a wild look in his eye. He'd brought a small pack with him. "What's in the pack? Diving stuff?" 627 shook his head. "No. If WE can't get to the treasure…NOBODY will." 621 blinked, then his eyes widened. "You didn't REALLY bring dynamite...did you?"

627, nodding, pulled out a stick of dynamite. "If we're going down, THEY'RE going down with us!"

621 glared at him. "Don't be stupid! It won't work!" "How'd you even kno-oh, right, telepathy. Anyway, watch! It'll work!" 627 grinned and snapped his fingers, causing a little spark to light the dynamite. "HA-HA-HA!" He tossed it towards the boats nearby…and it landed in the water…floating towards THEIR boat in the current.

621 rolled his eyes. "627, you idiot! It's in the water, and besides, what good would it have-"

KABLOOOEY! SPLOOOSHAAAAHHH!

As 621 and 627 were propelled into the air by a rock-hard blast of water that jetted from beneath their raft (which became splinters in a second) 621 said "By golly, it worked."

"By golly." 627 said, before they flew onto Pleakley's boat, landing with a thud.

"Oh, look! 621 and 627…AAAA! HELP! SAVE ME!" "Oh, relax. We're not gonna kill you…mostly because I have no idea how to steer a ship, and 627 here's knocked out. I don't suppose you have anything to eat?" "We've got sandwiches." Keoni said, holding out a Grilled Cheese that he had been about to eat. 621 snatched it out of his hand and stuffed it into his mouth. "Thanks." He said, spitting out crumbs as he chewed noisily and scratched his stomach.

Victoria looked over at Pleakley, who was sitting down to calm his nerves. "Um…captain, how about a song to cheer everyone up?" "Oh, REALLY?" Pleakley asked, eyes gleaming. He ran over to a suitcase on the boat and pulled out, of all things, an accordion.

"What the?" Keoni said.

"I've been hiding it in the closet just for such an occasion! Ohhhhhhhh…scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo-ho-ho, yo-ho-ho, yo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. Scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo-ho-ho-ho-hooo! Ohhhhhhh…scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo-ho-ho, yo-ho-ho…"

Meanwhile…

"I can see them! They must have found it." "How can you tell, 625?" "Squawk is squawking like crazy, and Lilo's doing a super-happy-treasure-hunter-dance with Stitch. Oh, and Nick's…uh…" "What?" "Well, he's raising the roof." Gantu snickered. "They must have found it…just in time for US to steal it! Where's my plasma gun?" "There, next to the diving stuff." "Where's my heavy-duty containment capsules?"

625 was embarrassingly silent.

"Well?"

"Under the sink." 625 said.

Gantu groaned. "Aw, blitznack. So much for capturing the experiments." "We can still get the goods, though." 625 said. "How long can you hold your breath underwater?" "Oh, no. YOU'RE going under." "But I can't swim!" 625 said, hysterical. "Good point. Well, hand me the diving equipment."

"Here I go, guys!" Nick shouted, diving in, equipment on. He dove into the crystal clear water and began swimming down, down, down. The water became slightly murky, so he had to pull out a waterproof flashlight he'd brought. Darkness all around. Getting colder too…

"Ah hem. Well then, now that THAT'S all taken care of, roll call! First Mate Victoria!"

"Aye, sir!"

"Second Mate Keoni!"

"Aye sir!"

"Helmsman 627!"

"Uh, I'm here."

"No, you're supposed to say "aye-aye, sir"."

"Shove off, girl. All right. Aye-aye…_sir_."

"Good enough. Lookout Snooty?"

"Sqeeeak!"

"Good. All accounted for. How's the prisoner, first mate Victoria?"

"Locked up in the brig, SIR!"

621 nodded, and gave a twist to his…uh…BORROWED…captain's cap.

"Argh. Set a course for the nearest ice cream stand, laddies! We're shovin' off for home!"

Meanwhile, in the brig, Pleakley sat on a chair, tied up, with the feeble remains of his accordion flung across from him.

"Get me out of here! It's so…dusty! Ugh! Please? I promise I won't sing again!"

Meanwhile, on shore, Nani and David were walking towards the ice cream store when they met up with…of all people, Trickster, who was licking a Peach Ice Cream cone. "Hello." "Oh, you must be one of Stitch's cousins." David said. "I'm David Kawena." "And I'm Nani Pelekai." Nani said. "Pelekai? As in Lilo Pelekai?" "You've met my little sister?" Nani asked. Trickster swallowed the ice cream cone in a single bite and gulped. Then he nodded, sadly. "Yes. I…I'm sorry, then." "Huh?" "Your sister's on a wild goose chase. She and the rest of the island are under the delusion that a treasure exists in the waters. They're quite wrong though. I made it all up." "Dude, that's…why?" David asked. "It's in my nature." Trickster said sadly. Suddenly he vanished.

David and Nani looked around. Suddenly Trickster appeared in back of them. "I manipulate emotions, trick people into believing things that aren't true. I send them off to be humiliated, send them into harm, send them into war…send them off to die. I'm sorry. Your sister might never come back. I picked this day because I read the weather reports. A large storm is coming. Everyone far enough to the Northwest out there will be lost in the storm, and lost to the sea. I'm sorry. Lilo, Stitch and Nick seem like good people."

Nani rushed at Trickster, who teleported behind her. "I'm sorry, but this is what I must do." "Stitch was bad too, once." David said. Trickster turned around. "Oh really?" "Yeah…but he became Lilo's friend. She didn't have anyone to be her friend until Stitch came." "Wait…but 626…Jumba did nothing but talk about how much of a monster he would be! How on earth did he end up her friend? You're…you're just trying to trick me! ME, Trickster!" "No, it's true!" Nani sobbed, falling to her knees. "And now…they're gonna…auuughh…Lillloooo…"

David walked over to her, gently hugging her. Trickster blinked slowly. Then he sighed.

"I'm sorry." He said, vanishing.

Back at sea, Nick looked down at the chest in his hands. It was old, that was for sure, and in a few minutes they'd be on their way back to the beach to show Nani and David and the others how well they'd done. Nick put the small key that opened it into his pocket and turned to Lilo.

"Lilo, take us home." Nick said. Stitch suddenly whimpered. "What's wrong?" Nick asked. Stitch pointed at the sky, and Nick suddenly realized how…DARK it was. And windy.

Suddenly lightning crackled, making Stitch jump and Nick gasp.

"Oh no." Lilo said. "It's a storm! We gotta head back!" She tried to turn the wheel, but it seemed stuck. "Huh?"

Nick ran to the wheel, where Lilo was holding on tightly. "Lemme try!" Well, he did…

It broke off, bouncing off the deck and out of the boat. "This could be bad." Nick said. "Stitch, check for any oars or something we can row with below deck, we gotta get the heck outta here!"

Stitch went below deck, bounding down the stairs and looking around. Rope, some nails, a soda machine, radar…no oars or anything to row with. Stitch cursed in Galactic and ran back up to find that harsh waves were crashing against the boat. This made him panic and he ran over to Nick, hugging his leg. "It'll be alright." Nick said. "I'll get us outta this, I just gotta…"

Suddenly Nick realized something.

"Where's Squawk?"

Squawk, as it were, was at the crow's nest, looking around for help. "Raaawk! Argh, maties! Ain't nobody on the seven seas but we now! We're in deep trouble me harties, we're knockin' on Davy Jones Locker, we be!"

"Will you quit it with the pirate talk?" Nick shouted. The wind was becoming more and more of a roar, and the waves kept crashing. Worse still, the ship was tilting to the side, doomed to fall in sooner or later.

Suddenly a huge wave hit, and the boat began to rapidly tilt. Lilo rushed toward the end of the boat, grabbing onto a rope that was hanging from the other side. "Grab on, guys!" She hollered. Nick grabbed it, and Stitch held on tightly to Nick. Squawk rushed down from the crow's nest and tried to pull Lilo and the others closer towards the other, non-sinking end, but he was too weak, and he lost his grip, falling towards the water, barely being grabbed by Stitch.

But still the boat began to fall towards the waves, and all of them screamed.

Then, suddenly…

Bang! There was Trickster in front of Lilo, balancing precariously on the edge and looking grim. "We're out of here." He said, grabbing the rope they were all holding onto and then vanishing, taking them with him.

David and Nani watched as every boat came onto shore…but Lilo and Stitch's. Jumba covered his face with his hands, trying not to cry. "Am…am sure they will be coming…ship is perfectly safe…they are perfectly fine, am sure they are…" Pleakley, who was relatively unharmed from being tied up, was also there with Victoria, Keoni and Snooty. 621 watched them look at the sea, not blinking, while 627 made a sand castle.

"Hey look! It's…uh…oh yeah…Camelot!"

621 didn't say a word.

Then, suddenly, Trickster appeared on the shore, with Nick, Lilo, Stitch and Squawk all lying around him, holding onto a rope.

"What the?"

"That was…cool."

"Naga bootifa." Stitch muttered.

"Oy, matie…I be needing some serious shore leave right about now, that I do."

Nick looked down at the chest he had tucked underneath his arm. "We're alive and…AND WE GOT THE TREASURE!"

Nick jumped up, wooping. "Woo-woo-woo! We did it! We did it, guys!" Lilo and Stitch jumped up and down, cheering, while Squawk sang a victorious sea shanty. Trickster sighed, then walked toward them.

"I…I made up the story about Cook losing a treasure chest."

Silence.

Then…

"What?" Lilo asked, suddenly far quieter in tone. Stitch's eyes became slightly feral, and Nick took in a breath. Squawk stopped singing and glared at Trickster with his one good eye.

"It's in my nature to trick others. My experiment number is 100. My name is Trickster. I was designed to manipulate and mislead large masses of people. I trick them into doing things they shouldn't do…like going out to sea on a stormy day."

Stitch growled, rushing forward, but Lilo stopped him. "Then, what's this?" She asked, pointing at the chest Nick held.

"They're no treasure, I made that up." Trickster said.

Nick sighed. "Well then, maybe this is someone's junk."

He opened it.

"Or maybe it's not…"

**Very brief BGM: Hail Britannia!**

Everyone gasped. In the chest were rubies, sapphires, diamonds and emeralds, gold coins, silver coins, and an inscription on the top of the chest that read "Property of James T. Cook, 1775."

"Oh my god, it's…it's REAL!" Nani said.

"Then Trickster was right without knowing it?" David asked.

"Odds of possibility were 4 million to one!" Jumba said. "And yet…here is proof!"

Pleakley gasped. "And…it's so CLEAN!"

"Oooooh!" Stitch said.

"What are you gonna do with it all?" Victoria asked.

(End music.)

Lilo rubbed her chin. "Hmm…" Nick scratched his head. "Gee…" Stitch furrowed his brow. "Uh…"

621 smiled. 627 growled and kicked his sand castle over. "No fair! They got the treasure and we got squat!" "Stop whining, let's go get some ice cream…wait, where are 625 and Gantu?"

About half an hour later…

625 and Gantu, wearing tattered life preservers, stepped onto shore, flopping down onto the sand.

"I…HATE…WATER." 625 said.

Then he pulled an octopus off of his head and threw it back into the water.

"AND octopuses. I'm never eating seafood ever again!"

"And I hate sharks." Gantu said. "They're such tricky fish!"

"Hey, next time you wanna go to the beach, do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Don't take me with you."

"Okay, okay. Let's go get a drink and forget about all of this. Wait…where's my plasma gun?"

"Uh…"

625 looked around. Nothing.

"I guess you lost it."

"I still had two more payments on it! I had it upgraded just last week!"

"Well at least we're…uh…oh boy."

A hippie-haired man in a t-shirt and shorts stared right at them.

"Hey man! Hi! Who are you?"

"Uh…" Gantu said. "Um…I'm Samoan."

"Get ouuuut! My cousin's Samoan! Cool. Welcome to San Fransisco, Sammy boy!"

"I'm in San Fransisco?" Gantu said, blinking slowly. "_Again_?"

"Aw, blitznack." 625 said.


	32. Sneak

**Author's Note:**

**I received a review from a reader that said that Cook didn't leave the Hawaiian islands, that he died there. The reviewer is both right and wrong. See, Cook went to Hawaii on his third voyage. After visiting Kauai for a brief (but significant) period of time, he left...and later, he came back, got involved in an islander war, and was cut down by arrows. That was his return to Kauai, but still a part of his third voyage. When Trickster was talking about Cook coming to Hawaii, he was talking about his initial visit. I hope that clears it up.**

**On with the show...and Happy Halloween, by the way! Heh-heh-heh...**

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

SNEAK

Hamsterviel groaned. Things were NOT going well for him.

Why, you ask?

Score thus far:

Him: 5.

Them: 620.

Three experiments hadn't been activated yet. And until last night it had been four.

Now though…the evil madman had an experiment that was SURE to succeed admirably.

Hamsterviel, in case you were wondering, had been hiding in secret on the island. Now he held up a small purple pod and placed it in a puddle outside of his hiding place, stepping back.

FWOOOM!

A flash of light, and then…

There it was.

"Perfect." Hamsterviel said, sneering. You'll do quite nicely. Experiment 471! State your primary functions."

"Primary Functionssss: Esssspionage and Assssssassssssination."

"Perfect. 471, I am Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel. No doubt you have heard of me."

Sneak nodded silently.

"I am giving you simple orders. You are to do three things. One is to deliver this package to a large, shabby-looking mansion in the town. Make sure it is placed inside, before pulling on the bow."

He handed a nicely-wrapped package with a red bow on it. "Pulling on the bow gives you a one hour head-start before the package releases its cargo. You are to, under no circumstance, try to open it before you reach the mansion and place it inside."

471 nodded another time.

Hamsterviel took out a picture. "Secondly, you must find THIS. I am aware that you can swim, and that you have enhanced strength. Retrieve it for me."

471 nodded again.

"And finally…"

Hamsterviel held up another picture.

"You are to eliminate THESE children. And make you are to eliminate them in front of each other, to make sure their suffering is EXTRA painful. I want them to all suffer as they die, understand?"

471 nodded one last time, taking the picture.

"Now go. And do not return back here until you have accomplished all of your goals. Call me if need arises."

471 nodded, and then vanished into thin air with a light hum. Hamsterviel broke into a sick grin and began to laugh and laugh and laugh…

Meanwhile, in the backyard of Lilo and Stitch's house…

"I haven't been this scared…in a long time! And I'm so unprepared…no, no that won't work. Hmm. I know! I took her out, it was a Friday nig-no, no that definitely won't work either!"

Nick, Lilo and Stitch were practicing for an upcoming "Summer Karaoke" contest at the carnival during the Fourth of July Celebration, which was tomorrow. They were trying to think of a good song to sing. Nick and Lilo had both agreed that Blink 182 was a really great band…but they couldn't really sing any of their songs.

"Let's face it, a lot of people here wouldn't "get" that we're singing songs mostly directed at teens."

"Ih." Stitch said, picking his guitar absentmindedly. "Okay, okay. Hmm. I know! How about an Elvis song?" "Perfect!" Lilo said, beaming. "Everyone knows Elvis! Which song?" "Hmm…how about "Can't Help Falling In Love"?" "Awesome!" Lilo said. "Now, who's going to play what instrument?..."

"First we'd better practice the song. Okay, how did it go? Hmm…"

Nick rubbed his chin. Then he remembered. "Duuuuh! I've probably got it on my watch!"

He pressed a button and ran down the selection of songs, down to "C". He saw two versions.

"Huh? They are two versions on here?" "One must be a cover." "Hmm, let's try the first one."

He hit "play" and the music started. It was a Pop rendition, done by ATeens…

And Nick liked it!

"Hey, this is good!" "Yeah, it is!" Stitch nodded, playing his guitar to the song, fingers strumming like crazy. "We DEFINITELY gotta try to do this song for the Karaoke contest!"

Jumba suddenly opened the back door and walked outside. "Nick, am needing help. Now."

"Coming! You guys will keep practicing, right?" "Right." "I'll go help Jumba. BRB." "Huh?" "Be-Right-Back."

Nick followed Jumba inside. The fat scientist looked serious yet oddly excited. "What's the problem?" Nick asked. "Receive-ed e-mail from E.G.O Electronic Newsletter." "They send out e-newsletters?" "What evil organization doesn't?" "I dunno, the Carlyle Group?" Ignoring that, Jumba walked over to the kitchen table and held the laptop up. "Look."

Sure enough, there was an e-newsletter, with a broad title proclaiming "THE NEW GRAND SCION!" Underneath it was a picture of Hamsterviel, waving his butt in front of the camera, looking giddy. He was dressed in flowing red and black robes, with gold trimmings.

"Oh crikey." Nick said. "Yes, old "chum" now is Grand Scion. Previous Grand Scion had heart attack while making speech, was totally fatal."

The aforementioned speech:

"I have gathered you all here to announce that I am making some radical changes. First of all, NO MORE FOOD FIGHTS…with vanilla pudding. You wanna have food fights in the dining hall, you do it with CHOCOLATE pudding. Secondly, I'm changing the color of the curtains in all of YOUR rooms. Yes I know you like them. Yes I know it's evil. That's the point. Finally, I'm going on a vacation to-URK!"

THUD.

"Uh…I think he's dead, everyone."

"Poke 'im with a stick!"

Pokety-Poke.

"He's really most sincerely dead!"

Nick blinked, trying to take it all in. "He's dead?" He asked, slightly mortified.

"So now, Hamsterviel is in charge of Evil Genius Organization."

At that moment, a little beeper that Jumba was wearing went off. He grabbed it off of his belt and smirked. "Well, well. Is annoying red-head girl and friends. Heh. They are coming over here. Wonder why?" "Uh, how do you know they're coming here?" "Snuck over to their houses. Installed microchip in their shoes." "Is that legal?" Nick asked. "Neither is not paying taxes and EVERYONE fudges little bitty bit. Now, where did I put my video camera?..."

Meanwhile…

"So it's like I was saying, we're going to go and see what "Weird-Lo's" idea for the contest is, and then come up with a song that'll blow hers out of the water!"

Myrtle Edmonds and her posse were walking to Lilo's house, hoping to see what Lilo and "the rest of the freak show" had in mind for the Fourth of July Karaoke Contest. Myrtle was good at being sneaky, so when they reached the house, she slunk underneath the steps, then tiptoed toward the backyard, hearing singing.

When she poked her head out from behind the steps to see what they were doing, she was dumbfounded. A moment later she ran back to her posse, pulling at her hair.

"She's AMAZING!"

"Huh?"

"This is horrible! She's going to blow US out of the water! She's got "Can't Help Falling In Love" down pat!" "She's singing an Elvis tune?" "So much for our idea of doing "If I was a Rich Girl", Myrtle." Elena shrugged . "Well, "Can't Help Falling In Love" IS a good song."

Suddenly a light-bulb turned on.

"What was that?"

"It IS a good song. Uh…why are you looking at me like that?"

"Yeah…it IS a good song…and _way_ too good for HER. Let's sing it at the competition!"

The posse gasped. "You wanna steal her idea?" Teresa asked. "That's really mean, Myrtle." Yuki said. "I thought you said her ideas were dumb!" Elena said, regretting that she'd given Myrtle any ideas. "Well even an idiot gets a bright idea once in a while."

Suddenly someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around.

Angel growled at her, claws extended, fur bristling. Heartwing, right behind her, simply said "Boo."

The girls screamed, ran in circles for a good two minutes (much to the delight of Jumba, who caught the whole thing on tape), and then ran down the driveway back to town. Angel and Heartwing turned around and gave Jumba a thumbs up.

Jumba broke into such hard laughter that Nick had to grab his arm to get him to stop. "Hoo-hoo…heh. Now, off to post this on "Youtube"." He said, walking back to his laptop with Angel and Heartwing following behind.

Myrtle and the posse finally stopped running at the end of the driveway, dead tired. "I…I think we got away." She said.

"Did you now?" An inquisitive yet creepy voice said.

Suddenly the girls found themselves unable to move, crushed together, and it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. A few moments later the pain eased up and they saw WHY they couldn't move…

They were locked in the coils of a long, deadly snake creature, with two white fangs jutting down from its upper jaw, thin and deadly, glinting in the sun. On its head was some kind of black helmet, with a communicator attached to it, little antenna sticking up from the "ear area". It had a horn-like ridge in the center of the helmet, and the snake's red eyes glinted. It had light green scales and a black vest on its chest, with many pouches. Its tail had a spike on the top, also white.

"I am Experiment Four Sssseven One." It said calmly as it looked down at the girls. "Now would you be sssso kind assss to provide me with all the information I want?"

"I didn't steal the chalk or the fancy ruler! Honest!" Myrtle blurted out.

"I am not interesssted in your petty little crimesss. I am here to accomplish a very sssspecific mission. Where issss the Pelekai housssehold?"

The girls slowly pointed up the driveway. 471 nodded. "Now, tell me, are they in?" The girls nodded. "And issss a red-headed girl with a ponytail with them?" "Nuh…no…" Myrtle said, feeling VERY frightened. 471 hissed angrily. "Curssssesss. No matter. Where is she?" "We passed her at the ice cream store, she's with Keoni Jameson and her weird bat."

471 nodded. "Good. Very good. I'll let you go now." He released the girls, who shivered as he stared down at them. "But if you tell anyone about me…well…it won't be pretty. Farewell, children." A light humming sound emanated from him, and then he vanished into thin air. The posse looked around, then turned to Myrtle. "Myrtle, I think he's gonna do something really bad." "We should tell the police." "Yeah!" "We can't tell ANYONE!" Myrtle said, slightly hysterical. "He'll…he'll…I don't know what he'll do, but it's gonna hurt, I know that! We tell NO ONE. Got it?"

Silence.

"Got it?"

"Yeaaah." The posse said, half-hearted.

"Now let's go home. We have to practice."

At the ice cream store…

"Chocolate Fudge Ripple Sundae, please." Keoni said. A few minutes later he brought it back to the booth he and Victoria were sitting in. Snooty was sitting on top of the both on Victoria's side, slurping a milk shake. "Here's our ice cream, Victoria." He gave her a spoon and the two started eating.

"Thanks for taking me here." Victoria said. "I really like Chocolate Fudge Ripple." "Me too."

The fat ice-cream-eating tourist ordered his pistachio nut ice cream cone and walked towards the door. "Finally." He thought. "I can eat my ice cream in peace." The guy on duty yelled out "Boss, I'm going on my break!" and headed to the bathroom.

"Uh, Victoria, you know how the Karaoke contest is coming up?" "Yeah?" "Well, I was wondering…" "Yeah?" Victoria leaned forward. "Would you…uh…like to…geez, this sounded a whole lot better in practice-oops." Keoni turned redder than his hair, but Victoria just giggled. "It's okay. Do you want me as a singing partner in the contest?"

Keoni blinked a few times then nodded. "Oh, yeah! Really! Uh, that is…if you _want_ to."

The fat tourist took a single lick.

BANG!

The door suddenly opened, hitting his arm and the ice cream cone, which fell to the floor. He groaned, and walked out of the store. Keoni and Victoria looked at the door and saw 471 rearing above them, becoming visible in front of their eyes.

"Well, well. Victoria Alysssson Chasssse, I pressssume? AND Keoni Jamesssson. Sssso the girlssss were telling the truth."

"How do you know who we are? What do you want?" Keoni asked, standing up with a brave face.

471's tail reached up to his vest, pulling out a picture. There was Victoria, Nick, Lilo and Keoni, their names above their heads.

"Hamsssterviel ssssent me to capture you two…and then to destroy you in front of the otherssss."

He wrapped around them, making Snooty dive at him, whacking him over and over with his body. Sneak hissed and whacked Snooty aside. The light-purple bat fell to the ground, squeaking faintly. Victoria screamed. "Snooty! NO!"

"Oh, I'm not going to hurt him. That wasssn't in my ordersss." "Leave us alone!" Keoni growled, banging his fists on Sneak. "It'ssss hopelesssss. You can't be allowed to essscape. Now then…"

Sneak slithered out of the ice cream store, wrenching the door off it's hinges and leaving, still carrying the protesting Victoria and Keoni. Snooty slowly got up and flapped into the air, heading with full speed after them.

Back at the house…

"Okay, that's a wrap!" Nick said.

Lilo, Stitch and Nick had been practicing singing "Can't Help Falling In Love", and now they were done. Nick pressed "Stop" on his watch and sat down on the ground. "It's good to be able to just get out and sing, isn't it?" "Yeah." Lilo said. "Ih! Singing is good." Pleakley walked outside. "You three have been trying really hard, haven't you?" he asked. He was wearing an apron that had lots of different-colored stains on it.

"Uh, are you trying to make something for dinner?" Nick asked. "No, I'm trying to make lemonade." He said. Nick decided to not go into it. "So, uh…tell me..." Pleakley asked, looking around. "What happens if you win?" he said, whispering into Lilo's ear. "Why the secrecy?" She asked. "I'm thinking of entering the contest, but I don't want Jumba to know."

Lilo looked indignant. "You shouldn't keep secrets from family." She said. "Pllleeeeaaaase?" Pleakley asked, bending on begged knee. "Tell me!" "Oh, all right. The winner gets a free trip to Disney World." Lilo said. "And I always wanted to go there." "Me too." Nick said. "I went to Disney LAND when I was a little kid, with my mom, my dad, my brother and my grandma. I had so much fun…" A nostalgic look came into his eye. Stitch said something Nick didn't understand.

Okay, he understood one word: "Buffet."

"Stitch just wants to compete so he can go to the buffet that only the contestants get to eat at. He doesn't care about Disney World." Stitch nodded. "Ih! Gaba ika tasoopa 'bout Disney World?"

"Do you like roller coasters, large amounts of food and drink, and getting to see people barf?"

"Ih, Ih, IH!"

"Well, Disney World has all three."

Stitch stood there, blinking slowly. Then he grabbed the guitar and said "Practice make perfect!"

Pleakley clapped his hands. "Oooh! Disney World sounds great! I'm going to go practice up in my room." He ran back into the house, pulling off his apron. Lilo smiled. "Well, I think we made his day."

"And thissss hassss made mine."

Suddenly from behind a bush, Victoria and Keoni were thrown, hitting the ground with a thud and a groan. Nick, Lilo and Stitch rushed over to them. "Oh my God! Victoria! Keoni! Are you okay?" Lilo asked, helping them up. "Guys…we…ugh…we gotta…gotta…" Victoria fainted. Keoni grabbed her before she hit the ground. "Victoria! Wake up!"

"It'sss probably better thisss way. Ssshe ssshall be the firssst to go. Sssince sssshe is unconciousss ssshe will sssuffer far lessss."

471 slithered out of the bushes, raising himself up.

"I am Experiment Four Sssseven One. My primary functionsss are Esssspionage and Assssassssination. You are my targetsss. Sssay farewell to each other, for now you will die."

He bared his fangs, and dove at Victoria. Nick quickly jumped up, kicking him away. "Back off!"

SCHLUP.

"YOW!"

Nick's arm had gotten a cut, courtesy of the spike on 471's tail. "Why you little sneak!" he said, grabbing his arm. Suddenly he began to feel woozy. "Why you…you…wooooo…"

He fell to the ground, unconscious. Victoria woke up, and saw Nick unconscious. She gulped and stepped back, afraid. Keoni however, rushed at Sneak, holding up a stick. "You big jerk! Get lost!"

SLASH!

He was slashed across the chest by the tail spike, and he went down, woozy as well, soon followed by unconsciousness. "Keoni!" Victoria shouted. "Nick!" Lilo said. "That ssspike of mine isss tipped with a ssspecial knock-out poissson." 471 said. "It makesss my job a lot easssier."

Stitch put down the guitar and extended all of his arms, growling. "Cousin should naga hurt people!"

471's face was calm and collected. "I merely follow ordersss. I am totally obedient." "Then shouldn't you be good?" Lilo asked. 471 looked at her, then shook his head. "No. Being obedient isss not always good…at least, not if the one I'm obedient to tellsss me to do bad things. I work for Hamsssterviel, and asss sssuch, I must follow hisss ordersss. And hisss ordersss were to make sure you all ssssuffered and died before each other."

He suddenly slithered forward, grabbing Stitch and pricking him with the tail spike. Stitch tried to break free, but he too succumbed to the poison, falling asleep. He turned to Lilo and Victoria, throwing Stitch to the side. "I shall sssstart with you, Victoria." He said, rushing forward and lifting her up in his coils. She started punching him, but he was far stronger than her. He looked right down at her, jaws opening to bite.

"This is easssier if you don't resssissst." He said simply. "I want to get thisss done quickly." His head reached down for her throat, fangs glistening.

Lilo ran over to the hose. "Back off, jerk!" She shouted, spraying him with it in the face. He drew back, dropping Victoria and spluttering as he hissed. Victoria ran over to Lilo. "Where's your garden tools?" She asked. "They're in that shed." Lilo said, pointing at a small shack near the edge of the backyard. Victoria ran inside and then ran back out, carrying a rake and a broom. She tossed the broom to Lilo. "Think we can take him?" Victoria asked, holding up the rake. "Let's rock-a-hula." Lilo said, eyes blazing with courage.

Nick opened his eyes, groggy. He could barely move a muscle. Keoni and Stitch slowly opened theirs, and all three were greeted by quite the interesting sight.

Lilo and Victoria were running in a circle around 471, hitting him over the head over and over, making satisfying "THWONKA" sounds as they hit the sneak's scaly head. His red eyes became dazed, and he swayed in the air, dizzy. Then he got his wits back and ducked. The rake and the broom missed, and both girls fell to the ground, having given too much momentum to the swings. 471 suddenly began to hum, and a few moments later he vanished.

"Uh oh." Victoria said.

"I guess he can turn invisible." Lilo said. "Keep an eye out for him."

"Tell me, how can you do that when you cannot sssee me?" 471 asked, voice still calm and polite in a fashion that was both creepy and oddly comforting.

"We'll think of SOMETHING!" Lilo said bravely. "Yeah! We can beat you!" Victoria said.

"Bravery." 471 mused. "Sssuch an interesssting trait, one I haven't ssseen in quite a while. Tell me though, how WILL you fight me if you cannot sssee me?"

Lilo thought. 471 was silent, impossible to hear when moving. She couldn't smell him out like Stitch, and she couldn't see him. And Stitch was too dazed to be able to sense 471. So how COULD they find him?

Then she remembered.

She looked around and saw a few tiny glistening droplets of water that were "floating" in the air. She turned to Victoria and her eyes gestured towards the droplets. Victoria saw them, nodding. Then they rushed forward, weapons slamming down.

THWAM!

471 collapsed on the ground, groaning and fully visible.

"Wow." Nick said, still feeling very weak. "Disney girls **rock**!"

Victoria walked over to him and grabbed his helmet. "We'll take _that_." She said, pulling on it. "AHH! NO! NO! SSSTOP!" 471 screeched, eyes tearing up. "SSSTOPPPP!" Victoria instantly let go, stepping back frightened. "That…ow…that helmet'sss a part of ME. It'ssss grafted to my ssskull permanently. Don't take it off, pleassse…owwwww…"

"Look, we don't want to hurt you." Lilo said, putting the broom down. "Neither do I." 471 said, looking down at the ground. "Then why did you attack us?" Victoria asked, raising an eyebrow. "I told you, I only follow ordersss, and sssince Jumba wasss not around…" "Jumba's inside." Nick managed to get out. 471's eyes widened. "Really? He isss?"

Everyone nodded. "Yep." Lilo said. "I…I had no idea! My loyalty isss to Jumba, first and foremossst. It'sss in my programming. Are you, uh…alliesss of him?" "We're his _ohana_. His family." "Family…" 471 said, looking at them strangely. "What isss that?" "They're people who take care of you, who love you and look out for you." Victoria said. "_Ohana_ means family." Stitch said, though it hurt his mouth to talk. "Family means…"

"Nobody gets left behind." Everyone else finished. "Or forgotten." Stitch added.

471 blinked his slit eyes slowly, then smiled a little. "Then…I would be honored to be in your…_ohana_."

Lilo smiled. "Okay! First, we have to give you a name. Then we have to find your one true place." "Where WOULD the little sneak belong?" Nick asked, getting up. The poison was wearing off. "Sneak. Hmm. That's a fitting name, I guess." Lilo said. "As for where you belong…"

About ten minutes later, Cobra Bubbles drove up the driveway in his black car (another rental) and parked. He got out and looked over at Sneak.

"Being a sneak may not be good for something in Hawaii, but it's probably a very good thing if you're in the secret shadow government." Lilo said. "Ih." "Probably."

Jumba rolled his eyes. "Next time you decide where to put MY experiments, tell me sooner. Am still not trusting bald man with sunglasses."

Cobra cracked his neck. Jumba gulped and shut up. Sneak slithered over to Cobra who looked down at him. "So you're an espionage and assassination expert?" "Yesss. I can turn invisssible, can sssee in infrared, ultraviolet and in the dark, and can automatically hone onto any communication frequency with my communicator helmet." "Can you pick up radio stations too?"

Sneak nodded and opened his mouth wide.

"Lemme tell you something folks, when the aliens come, you're gonna be heedin' the classic advice of "nighty-night, keep your butth-"

Cobra shut Sneak's mouth. "Okay, okay. Your cousin Shush has proved to be a very helpful asset to our operations, and I'm sure you'll do the same." Sneak nodded. "I will do all that I can."

Soon Cobra and Sneak drove off, and Lilo smiled. "He's on his way!" Stitch nodded, then walked back over to his guitar. "Practice make perfect." Nick snapped his fingers. "Right! We gotta keep practicing! Okay, on my count, ready?"

Lilo nodded. "Ready." "Ready." Stitch said.

"Okay, here we go! Uno…dos…tres…catorce!"

Somewhere else…

Gantu groaned. "Where on EARTH is 561?" "Don't ask me, blubber butt." 625 said, gloomily staring in front of the TV. "I haven't seen him since we lost our cable this morning. I can't believe Big H cut our cable!" "And that makes our Tivo useless." Gantu said, going to the bathroom. "So much for being able to tape _South Park_. I need an aspirin." "How are we gonna find out what happens to Chef now?" 625 asked, grumbling.

621 and 627 were playing cards. "Three aces." "You…grrrr…win. All…all I got are two queens." "Nice try." "Whatever. Where IS 561? The stupid dragon never seems to be around here as often as we are." "I don't know. Anyway, I've…well…"

621 leaned in. "I've developed a plan." He whispered. "A plan?" 627 whispered back. "Yes. A plan to finally kill my little brother and Jumba. It's quite ingenious-hey! Pay attention!" "I am!" "No you're not. You're singing "Coconuts" in your head!" 627 muttered something nasty about telepathy and rolled his eyes. 621 snapped his fingers. "Now then, listen up…"

Meanwhile, Hamsterviel looked at the huge Destiny Crystal that now hung from his wall. "Beautiful." He said. "Just beautiful. Now all the pieces are in place. All I need to do now is be patient. They'll go rushing in to their dooms. In the meantime…"

He walked over to a suitcase. "Where DID I put my CD player? Clothes, toothbrush, swimsuit, goggles, ah! Here we go! Now where'd I put my CDs?"

"Under the sink." 561 said, opening his eyes for one moment before going back to sleep on a pillow. Hamsterviel walked over to the sink and opened the cabinet underneath it.

Sure enough, there it was. "How did it end up-no matter. Now then, I'll put some mood music on."

He walked back into the room that housed the crystal and put a CD into the CD player marked "Classics for Villains". He was about to press play when an idea popped into his head.

He approached the crystal, and took a deep breath as he put his paw on it and chanted.

"_Oh crystal on the wall…please hear me when I call…tell me about the boy named Nick, will he be my downfall?"_

The crystal glowed a little, responding back in a reverberating tone that echoed through the room. Suddenly an image of Nick appeared in Hamsterviel's head.

_The boy which you know see…_

_Your friend would gladly be…_

_But since you have an evil heart, your choice is fight or flee…_

Hamsterviel retracted his hand. "Fight or flee, huh? Hmm…I choose option three…WIN."

Elsewhere, Spooky was snoozing lightly on his back, a snot bubble rising from his nostril. He woke up a few moments later when a bat flew past his head, bursting the bubble. He groaned and transformed into a HUGE bat, scaring the first one and making it fly behind a pillar to hide. Spooky smirked, then noticed something that had been placed in front of the front door to the haunted house he lived in.

A present? How odd. Was it his birthday?

He walked over to it, singing "It's my birthday, it's my birthday, gonna party like it's my birthday...". A bow lay next to it, casually discarded.

He walked closer.

Suddenly everything went black, and all Spooky knew was darkness.

"Uh oh." He managed to get out before falling unconscious.


	33. The Haunted Mansion, Pt1

**Author's Note:**

**Oh wow! 1000+ hits on Viewtiful Joe and more than 3000 on this story! A-W-E-S-O-M-E! There's a reason people like hits on their stories as much as reviews. My reason is this: Every time you click to read a story or a chapter...you vote with your mouse.**

**That's right. You vote with your mouse. Every time you visit a chapter, it's a vote, a statement, a way to say "Hey, I like this". And that's why hits are important to an author...or at least to me. Don't forget, those of you who are old enough, to vote today for real! (Follow your heart people, and think about the issues, not about who would look better in a swimsuit.) **

**Anyway, the next bit of story is a two-parter, and contains a lot of experiments. I want to say again, right now, that I do not own the experiments of the Lilo and Stitch world or any other characters in the story except for Heartwing, 561, Charlie and of course, Nick. And soon you're about to see another original character of mine! (And you'll be seeing more...) **

**Oh, I also want to note that I owe http://experiments. a great deal of thanks, as well as another site I'll mention later. Both greatly inspired me for this chapter. Thanks.**

**But enough of that shameless plugging. You wanna read the story and find out what happened to Spooky, how the Karaoke contest goes, and what Hamsterviel had planned. So here we go!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

THE HAUNTED MANSION, PT. 1

"Oh, let's get jumping, surf's up and pumping, coastin' with the motion of the ocean…hey everyone! Dougie's back, and I'm here to tell you all about a breaking news story that you all need to hear, FAST!"

Nani shut the radio off. "It's too early in the morning for conspiracy theories." "_Blasphemy_!" Lilo said. "It's NEVER too early for conspiracy theories." "Ih." Stitch said, nodding. Nani shook her head. "No listening to him this morning! You guys have to get ready for the Karaoke contest today, remember?" "Oh, yeah. Right." Lilo said. Pleakley giggled. "I'm so excited." He whispered. "What are you singing?" Lilo whispered back. "You'll see." Pleakley said in a mysterious tone.

Nick brushed some of his hair back, and tapped on the photo he was showing to Jumba. "So here's the problem. You see? Right there. That little flap thing on the flag has got me really puzzled." "You mean to tell me that great majority of lunar landing conspiracy theorists started their theorizing solely because of this little flag's flap?" "Yeah, and they say "it's not supposed to flap, there's no wind in space, it must have been faked"."

Jumba let out a "pffft" and handed Nick back Lilo's copy of "The World's Greatest Conspiracy Theories", with the subtitle "Now with digitally re-mastered photos".

"Is ridiculous. Flag not rippling. Flag has been folded earlier, that is why it has those ripples. No wind involved whatsoever."

"You can tell all that just from looking at it?"

"Am not genius for nothing."

Lilo raised an eyebrow, then took the book, turning to another page.

"How about this?"

"Who is this person?"

"John F. Kennedy. He was assassinated."

"I can see THAT. Hmm…what the? Magic bullet? Heh-heh-heh…is OBVIOUS was shot from behind, by _people_ with great training, not by lone gunman with a mess-ed up head."

"How about this?"

Flip.

"Hmm…definitely from large, bipedal mammal, and NOT a bear, can tell you that much."

'This?"

Flip.

"Swamp gas."

"This?"

Flip.

"Weather balloons with deliberate spooky paintjob."

"This?"

Flip.

"THAT'S an alien saucer. Probably Tantalog. They are not very brilliant designers."

"Okay, one more, one more. This one's REALLY old. Look."

Flip.

"Hmm…hmm…HMM…Loch Ness Monster? Probably dinosaur…is hard to tell, photo not in good condition to begin with…perhaps trip to Scotland will-" Nani silenced him with a look. Then she looked out the window, casting her gaze out far. "Hmm…THAT looks like a storm cloud…I hope it doesn't rain."

Lilo finished drinking her chocolate milk and hopped down from the table. "Well, we'd better go check up on Stitch's cousins. It's that time again." "How many experiments are left unfound?" David asked. He'd stopped by for coffee. "Hmm…I think only two now." Lilo said. "Anyway, let's go, guys!" "Oketaka." "Coming!"

Lilo handed Nick a snazzy metal clipboard and a pencil. "I've divided up the experiments we've found homes for into six groups." Lilo said, pointing from Nick to Stitch to herself with her pencil. "You, me and Stitch have three of these, and Victoria, Keoni and Heartwing have three others. One the list are the names of the cousins, what they do and where they are. We have to make sure they're all happy in their one true place, okay?"

Nick nodded. "No problem. I wish I could have come last time though." "Well, when you've got the flu, you've got the flu." "Or in MY case, the Poxy." "At least you gave Heartwing his first check mark on the list." "Yeah, yeah, don't remind me. And we meet up by Spook's haunted house, right? Where the contest is taking place?" "Yep. It was nice of Spook to let them do the contest right outside his one true place." "He's probably gonna scare everyone at the end of it." "Naaaah. He said he wouldn't."

And so off they went, on the regular check up.

Nick walked down the street, looking for the first experiment on his checklist.

"Hmm. Number 200, Spotlight. Wonder what he does..."

He passed by a movie theater. Then he stopped. "Duh!" He thought, looking up. Sure enough, there it was. A blue creature with yellow-tipped ears and spike-like claws on the end of it's paws, with a glowing light-bulb at the end of it's tail. It had a furry yellow underbelly, and the familiar blue nose of Stitch. He was standing at the top of the movie theater's sign, waiting for night to come so he could shine his spotlight.

"Spotlight looks happy." In fact, he was sipping a very large soda. "Hey, is that Mountain Dew?" Nick called out. Spotlight looked down and held his cup towards Nick, taking the cap off so Nick could see…

Oops.

Nick wiped Mountain Dew off of his arm and said "Thanks a LOT." sarcastically. Spotlight grinned sheepishly and ducked behind a letter on the theater's display sign.

Nick continued walking. "Okay, next on my list is…"

"How come you've got a list?" Howcome asked.

Howcome was a mouse-like experiment designed to annoy people by asking repetitive questions like "How come" and "Why?". Currently, he was hanging out with another one of Nick's checklist experiments, "Dorkifier", who was a complete and total nerd who was always answering Howcome's questions. The two basically rebounded off each other, neither side ever stopping to talk…

Except when it was a meal time, or if they got bored. And luckily for the world, they got bored often. So usually they simply hung around the library, and they didn't really bother the librarian.

"He's making a list." Dorkifier said. His voice was not only dorky, but he had a lisp as well, and although he wore sunglasses, he didn't look too cool. He was a neon green experiment, with a yellow underbelly, rounded yellow spikes on his back and a rat-like yellow tail. His teeth were pretty rounded too.

"And you know, this reminds me of the famous words of Renée Descartes…"

Nick hightailed it before things got REALLY boring. He headed over to Mrs. Hasagawa's stand, and said hello to his next checklist experiment, Cloudy. Cloudy was, well, a cloud. But he had beady black eyes, and he some light blue patches on his white fluffiness, which shone today as he rained on Mrs. Hasagawa's fruits, making them last longer.

"Hey, could you do my arm? It's all sticky from Mountain Dew."

Cloudy "harrumphed" but did so. Nick said "_Mahalo_" and left. "Let's see, who's next on the list? Experiment 518…"Flame", huh? Okay, a fire elemental…works with David?"

As it were, Flame helped out with David, also lighting luau torches. Flame was a tan/yellow color, with a red nose and three brown spiky "toes" on the end of his feet. He had a small tail, two orange/brown stripes on each arm, and a three volcanic spouts jutting from the top of his head like a crown. The two spouts on the side were slightly smaller than the central one and were orange in color, while the central spout was reddish brown and, at the moment, slightly smoking.

Nick walked over to David, who was sitting next to Flame, who happened to be drinking some poi from a saucer. "Hey, David. So this is Flame?" "Yep. He's pretty cool for a hothead." Nick grinned. "I get it, I get it. Where's Splodyhead, your other torch-lighting assistant?" "He's backstage with Lightfoot." "Lightfoot?"

Nick looked down at his list. Sure enough, there was an entry for "Experiment 321, Lightfoot." "So what's Lightfoot do?" Nick asked, checking the list.

_What the?_

"He tap-dances?" Nick asked, incredulous.

"Yep. Wanna see?" David said. "Huh?" "Hey Lightfoot, could you give us a performance?" David called out.

Lightfoot emerged from behind the big red curtain and bowed respectfully. He was a monkey-like experiment, curly tail and all. He skin was a pale yellow, but he had purple fur on his stomach, his hands, his thighs, his ears and the top of his head. The fur on top of his head stuck out slightly in the front, and he had a rather small brown nose, as well as having fairly small ears.

On his feet were tap-dancing shoes. He bowed again and began to do a dance, smiling slightly.

"Ohhhh." Nick said. "I didn't know aliens knew tap-dancing." It was oddly hypnotic to watch Lightfoot dance. Round and round he went, leaping back and forth, up and down, and that tapping, oh the tapping! Nick found himself tapping to the tapping.

Suddenly David called out "Okay, Lightfoot! Thanks, that's enough." Lightfoot bowed again and headed backstage. "Lightfoot never knows quite when to stop when it comes to performances. That's why we've got that light over there."

David pointed to a red light that was far opposite the stage. "That turns on, it's time to wrap it up, and quick. He's never missed the cue yet." "Okay, I'd better get going."

Next on the list was Witch. True to form, she was designed to be a witch. Now she helped deliver the mail on her broomstick.

"Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!" She cackled as she flew through the air. "Man, she's UGLY." Nick thought.

This was true. She had a ball-like black tail, light orange skin, black eyes with glowing yellow pupils, and a grey, spiked at the end, freaky-witch-nose. Plus the cackle was creepy.

BUT she happened to be very fast and very good at delivering mail.

"Nya-ha-ha!" "Hey, any mail for me?" Nick called out. Witch stopped on her broomstick, turned around, and flew over to Nick. "Hmm…junk, junk…oh! "Nick Grey Is Our Next Ten Million Dollar Winner!". Want me to throw it out, dearie?" "Uh, actually I'll keep that. Hey…"

Nick grinned. "Any mail for a certain land shark?"

"Well, I'm not REALLY supposed to…"

Nick pulled out a fiver.

"Here you go." She said, handing Nick all of Gantu's mail. "Hmm, let's see. Junk, junk, junk…oh, this looks good. It's from his mom."

"You really shouldn't…"

"Five more bucks says you get lost and tell Gantu that you lost his mail."

"Deal, dearie. Hee-hee-hee…"

About ten minutes later, Nick (who had pocketed the letter) walked over to the police station. "Uh, is Experiment 614 here?" "Experiment 614-oh, you mean Gunner! Yeah, he's in the shooting range out back, training our new recruits how to correctly detonate a…"

KABOOOOOOOM!

The whole station shook.

"Bomb."

"Oh boy. Be right back."

Nick ran out of the station and headed to the back, walking along the fence that shielded off the shooting range from the town. He looked in to see Gunner and several novices behind a blast wall, and a huge crater where a bomb had exploded.

"Hey Gunner! How's training?" Nick called out.

Gunner was a dog-like animal, with spiky ears, brownish skin, and spiky, dark brown hair that jutted out over his face. He wore a teal vest and a dark green/grey cloak, as well as a nose ring and teal wristbands on his wrists. His legs had powerful muscles and tail was slightly reptilian. He had sharp teeth, which now glinted in the sun as he smirked.

"Ah, these new blues are all yellow, kiddo." He said in a tough, gruff voice. "But once I get through with 'em, they'll be the real deal, true blue. They're gonna be greens, know what I mean, kiddo?"

"Okay, well good luck." Nick said, walking off. He heard Gunner tell the novices that their next task would be to successfully be able to take apart a gun and then be able to put it back together…blindfolded.

Hoo boy.

Nick's next stop was at the local cathedral. He walked down the street over to the cathedral and opened up the huge doors. He looked around in awe at the amazing structure of the building. The cathedral had pointed spires, and were octagonal in shape, save for the main spire which was present at the end of the church, which had three sides. Below the main spire and inside the church was the altar at which the local father prayed.

Right now though, the church was empty save for someone was cleaning one of the many beautiful crystal windows that the church possessed, and for the maker of those crystals.

A thin, female, pinkish-purple experiment was sitting in a pew. She had a slightly spiked head that rose into the air, and two pale blue stripes running across the bottom of this spike. She had a reddish/orange nose, black eyes with long eyelashes and long, thin ears that rose along her head. She also had a fluffy tail, like a bunny's. This was Crystallene, experiment 618. She was designed to turn objects into crystals, rubies, diamonds or other rare gems. Because of this power she was very useful for making beautiful works of art like the windows of the church. Forget painted windows, these were the REAL deal.

She was looking at the ones nearest to the roof, which depicted famous saints. There were paintings around the altar that were also made of gems, which depicted the apostles, Mary Magdalene, and of course, above the altar, high up in the air, Jesus. Not crucified, but kneeling with a cross right behind him. This was made of a beautiful white crystal, making it sparkle even in darkest night.

The one cleaning the windows heard Nick cough, and he turned around. He had big, gentle eyes whose color resembled a pond's surface. He had light brown and pale, yellowish-almost-white fur, and a flowing, long-haired tail. His nose was slightly smaller than the nose of most of the experiments, and, the most distinguishing feature of all, he had wings. The same color as his fur, but delicate and beautiful, like angel wings. He had some light brown hair on the top of his head, closely cut. In one hand he had a sponge and in the other a bucket of soapy water that had a hint of some kind of herb in it. He floated down to the ground and put the bucket down.

"If you're wondering what the scent is, its rosemary." Page said, his voice like that of a choir boy's. "My cleaning recipe makes the windows look and smell holy just like Father Joe wants it to be."

Nick nodded. It did indeed smell wonderful in the cathedral.

"We're doing just wonderful here in God's house." Page said. "I'm very happy here." "I'm glad you are." Nick said. "It's nice to do good things for God, isn't it?" Crystallene asked. "Yeah." Page said. Crystallene tilted her head to the side a bit.

"You're checking to see how our fellow cousins are doing, including our brothers and sisters?" "Brothers and sisters?" "Other members of the Six series." Crystallene explained. "But all beings are brothers and sisters." Page said. "And all are equal in God's eyes. All are loved and redeemable, no matter how evil they may be."

"So you're Catholic." Nick said.

"I believe strongly in God." Page said.

"But are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Does it matter?" Crystallene asked. "We've got windows and statues and things in the Protestant church down the street, and in even in the synagogue that's around the corner." "Is there a mosque?" "No, maybe someday."

Page looked up at the altar, at Jesus and the cross. "Muslim, Jew, Christian, all worship the same God. We should all be brothers and sisters and should extend love to those who need it, even if they do not deserve it. Judge not lest YE be judged."

"Well, I'm a little bit worried about trying to decide whether or not I want to be a Catholic or a Protestant, because either way my mom goes to…you know." "How come?" Page asked, tilting his head, confused. "She…well…doesn't believe in God. I think she believes in SOMETHING, but she's not willing to call it God. I…I don't wanna go to Heaven if…if my mom's not there. And I don't want her to go to…to..." Nick said, looking at the ground.

Page simply smiled, and walked over to Nick. He looked up into Nick's eyes with his own deep, peaceful ones. "Who's to say who is worthy of entering Heaven and who is not?"

"Uh…only God?"

Page smiled. "Exactly."

"All right. All right. So…I shouldn't worry about it if my mom's a decent person?"

"No, I don't think you have to worry."

"Hey, who's next on that list?" Crystallene asked. Nick held it up. "Says…oh, three more. Okay, no problem. See you around, and uh…God be with you!"

"And with you too." Page said, bowing. "See ya!" Crystallene called out, picking up a hymn book and beginning to read. "Hmm. And did those feeeeet…in ancient tiiiimes…walk upon England's paaaastuuuures…hey, I didn't know there was a section for England in here. When'd we get that?" "Yesterday." Page said, going back to washing. "I bought them for the Church. Turn to the ones from Native American tribes, those are quite interesting…"

Meanwhile, Nick had two more experiments left, and both, by chance, were also working together in the same place…specifically, the gym.

The first experiment there was 622, "Jumby". He had three spiky hairs that jutted out from his head, purple and light purple fur, and four dark purple eyes. He was fairly fat and had two toes on each foot, as well as a ball-like tail, and two stubby-like antennae coming out from his back. He was currently at the gym's computer system, fixing up some bugs in the system and talking only in Galactic.

"Hmm. So you're Mini-Me to Jumba's Dr. Evil."

"Ih." Jumby said, flipping a couple of switches to see if something was going to happen. Whatever was supposed to happen didn't, and he threw up his hands groaning. "Ugh! Jaboo maggy summa. Jataya kumi boogoo." "Huh?"

Jumby pointed at a blinking red light. "Naga crimma. Virdah, virdah!" "Huh?" "VIRDAH." "Say what? Virdah?" "IH." "Virdah…wait…you don't want that light red, it's supposed to be…uh, green?" Jumby nodded. "Ih, ih!" "Hmm. I dunno, try whacking it."

Jumba whacked the computer, and suddenly the light turned green. "Ooooh. Ha-ha!" Jumby did a little dance and then shook Nick's hand eagerly. "Taka! Taka!"

Nick said "_Mahalo_" and then walked away, heading for the instruction hall.

"I SO gotta learn Tantalog!" He thought to himself.

He opened it up and saw a fight taking place. Kixx was going up against experiment 623, Trainer, who was designed to teach ANY kind of fighting style. She was a spunky experiment with slightly spiky red hair, stubby antennae and a black belt wrapped around her waist. She was fairly skinny, and had shark black claws and light brownish/tan fur, along with a white chest. She also had blazing, defiant green eyes.

"Okay, come on! Show me what you got!" Trainer said. "Let's see some of that "manly might" you're always talking about!"

Kixx made a VERY rude sign with all four of his hands and rushed at her. She kicked off the ground and with a mighty upward sweep of her left leg, she sent Kixx flying through the air. He landed hard, and staggered up, rushing forward. Trainer stood there, waiting. Kixx got closer…

Trainer suddenly jabbed forward with her index and middle finger, striking him on stomach. He suddenly stopped, and then fell to the ground, groaning heavily. "Owww….ooouuuuuggghhh…no fair! No fair using that move!" "Too bad, it's Kanto Style and thus perfectly legal. Or maybe you'd rather I use my foot to do a Johto style move…" "Ah! No, no! I'm good, I'm good. Oww…got any aspirin?"

Trainer tossed Kixx a towel. "Oh, hit the showers…and meditate on why you lost. Stop getting carried away and letting anger cloud your judgment."

"Well she seems happy where she is." Nick thought after he left the gym. "Only one guy left…Spooky himself!"

Nick soon saw that a great deal of the festivities had already been set up. There were streamers, tents, tables, and of course, food and drinks, already set up outside the mansion. Nick walked over and saw Keoni helping to move some supplies for a gaming booth that was being set up.

"Hey, it's Nick! _Aloha_, man!" "Hey Keoni. Oh, and David, you're here too?" David nodded. "We got the supplies down, brotha, but could you maybe move the karaoke machine to the stage they're settin' up over there?"

Nick looked over and saw, about twenty feet away from the steps of Spooky's Victorian mansion, was a stage that had a generator on the side. Two men were trying to lug a karaoke machine onto it, but failing. It was too heavy for them.

"Come on, Johnny! Put your back into it!" "I'm trying, Jack!"

Nick rolled his eyes and lifted up the karaoke machine with one hand. "I got it, fellas. Where'd you want it put down? Center stage?"

Both the men stared at Nick, slowly nodding.

"Okaaay!" Nick said cheerily, walking over to the stage and putting the karaoke machine down. "Hey, who's in charge?" "Oh, Moses has been put in charge of the Karaoke contest and Mrs. Hasagawa, Mr. Chase and Mrs. Edmonds are sponsors. The fireworks, in case you were wondering, don't start till 9:00." "Okay, okay. But if Moses is in charge of the karaoke contest, who's the one directing all of this? The entire celebration?" "Oh, that would be Mr. Jameson, and he's in the house right now. He had to use the bathroom."

Well apparently he was done, because now Mr. Jameson came out of the bathroom, coughing quite heavily. Nick suddenly shivered, even though it was almost hot out. "Woo! The-the willies."

"Something wrong, Dad?" Keoni asked, walking over, concerned. Mr. Jameson was wearing sunglasses, a teal shirt and white pants, and his red hair looked a little bit messy. "I'm…I'm fine." He said. His voice sounded harsh and raspy. "I…I s-s-strained my throat. Keoni, could you and the other contestants please come into the mansion? I need to have a talk with you all about the rules before we begin. It's only for your ears."

As it were, Lilo, Stitch, Victoria, Pleakley, Nani, Jumba (of all people) and Myrtle and her posse were all there, and when they were told to go inside the mansion they complied. Nick was the last to go in, but for some reason he kept getting the willies.

"M-muh-man, I hate the willies!"

"The willies?" Myrtle asked, skeptical. "Look, the willies are nothing more than superstitious junk."

"Yeaaah." The posse said.

"I'll bet you five bucks right now that something creepy is gonna happen." Nick said, pulling out his wallet and waving it in the air.

Myrtle's eyes flashed. "Deal." She said.

Pleakley rubbed his chin. "You know, whenever _I_ got the willies-" He started to say…

But Nick wasn't listening. He'd noticed something. Something odd…and very freaky.

The room they were in, the main hall, was ALWAYS dusty and dark. The chairs and the table that lay around were rickety, and if any pressure was put on them they creaked. The windows were cracked and darkened from dust, and the wallpaper inside was peeling. Not to mention that the floor was cracked everywhere, and there was a funny, musty smell.

But…

But there was a FOG inside the house.

"What the heck?" Nick said, looking around. "Fog? But that's impossible!" "Hmm." Jumba said. "Is very unusual to be seeing precipitation of any form INSIDE buildings…"

Suddenly Victoria, who had been standing next to Keoni, screamed and pointed at Keoni's dad. Mr. Jameson was suddenly changing, shifting, melting into something else…

Something teal in color. With two big yellow eyes, flabby hands and feet lacking in digits, a blob-like body and gel-like skin. He growled, a deep, throaty, hissing sound. His eyes suddenly closed, then opened again, revealing them to be pure black.

"Welcome, children." He said in a voice that was both Spooky's and someone else's. "Welcome…to your final resting place."

"Uh oh." Stitch said.

"Oh boy." Lilo said.

"Pay up." Nick said, holding out his hand to Myrtle, who was already reaching for her back pocket. He took the fiver and put it in his wallet.

"Told ya so." He said smugly.

"Aw, blitznack." Jumba said. "Can we not go one holiday without having some kind of attackings?"


	34. The Haunted Mansion, Pt2

**Author's Note: **

**WOOPS! The web site that inspired me, that I tried to talk about last chapter is at Deviant Art and unfortunately I can't post the title here in my fanfic. The other site that helped me is unfortunately a Freewebs site that's frozen at the moment. Dang! So I can't tell you what they are OR show you them! I'll try and see if I can put them up on my profile, though. Don't lose hope:) **

**I would have also updated sooner, trust me, but unfortunately I accidentally left my flash drive in a computer at my school. My flash drive which had the second part of "The ****Haunted** **Mansion****" on it. Not to mention other work, like the rest of the story! Luckily I'm not the kind that gives up that easily, nor am I the kind who COMPLETELY forgets to make a backup of some kind, and now I'm starting up again! But to tell the complete truth, I kinda forget to make a copy of the part of the story that THIS part belongs to. Anyway, moving right along, time to enjoy the story! **

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO **

THE HAUNTED MANSION, PT. 2

ABOUT HALF AN HOUR OUR HEROES WENT INTO THE MANSION…

It was a very special day for 621, but…well, not in a good way. It was the anniversary of his break up with Angel. He'd announced it earlier in the day, and that he didn't want ANYONE giving him grief. Or presents for that matter.

Now he just looked out one of the windows of the ship, two hands barely holding his head up by the chin, the other two just hanging down limply. He sighed as his black eyes gazed out. It was a beautiful day, but all he could do was think about her.

561 and 625 were in the kitchen area, hiding behind the counter. Gantu walked by and noticed this, and his eyebrow went up. "What exactly are you doing?" "Waiting." "For what?" "When we say duck, duck underneath with us." 561 nodded. "You will NOT want to be in the line of fire." "Huh?"

627 suddenly appeared from the doorway, a red ribboned present in his hand. It was small, and its wrapping job was poor. He walked over to 621. "Hey there, greeny! I know you're feeling down, so I got you a present!"

"…go away."

"Aw, don't get sand up your butt! Here."

627 handed 621 the present. 621 rolled his eyes and opened it up.

"Okay, duck." 625 said. Gantu shrugged and ducked underneath he kitchen counter with them.

621 looked at the present in his hands.

"The Beach Boys Greatest Hits".

"You…bought me a gift that would…that…that would remind me of all the good times I had you ROTTEN JERK! I'LL KILL YOU!"

627 bounded away as 621 tried to grab his throat. He was both laughing and stuttering at the same time. "I d-didn't m-mean to…PFFT! I honest-uh, honestly wasn't t-trying to…HA-HA…hu-hurt-heh-heh…"

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

621 tossed the CD away and jumped on 621. Soon they were rolling around on the floor, and 621 was snarling madly, growling angrily and viciously. 627 was screaming at the top of his lungs, desperately trying to escape and failing.

"How much longer?" Gantu asked. 561 listened intently, putting one of his clawed hands to his ears. "Judging by the screams, I would say…fifteen more seconds."

Sure enough, fifteen seconds later…

THUMP!

621 walked over to the CD case and tossed it in the trash. Then he walked to his room, wailing "Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so looooong!" as he walked off.

627 had been rudely shoved into a vent, and his arms were stuck in as well, pinned against his sides. Only his lower half stuck out, and his legs were flailing madly in the air as he growled and shouted "Lemme out". Gantu looked at 625. "Um…625, maybe we should go get some air. Maybe go to that Karaoke competition?" "Good idea." 625 said, jumping up. "I saw they're serving great sandwiches." They quickly left.

561 looked at 627 and sighed, walking out of the kitchen area. "I suppose it falls on ME to pull him out. I hate this day already."

TWENTY MINUTES LATER…

Heartwing and Page were standing by the instruments that Retro 4Ever was going to use after the Karaoke competition. The winner would get to sing with them, as an added incentive. Both Page and Heartwing were honored to be entrusted with looking after the instruments. The band had brought two extra regular and bass guitars, just in case.

Heartwing almost couldn't resist plucking one of the strings, but Page gently touched his shoulder.

"Lead us not into temptation." He said calmly. "Remember my cousin the lessons He taught us." Heartwing put a claw to his lip, thinking. "…no covet neighbor's goods?" "Yes, thou shall not covet they neighbor's goods."

Heartwing plopped down on the ground and sighed. He was bored…

Then he saw Nick and the others, which cheered him up. He was glad they were here-

Wait…what was that?

Heartwing had sensed something. Something very…chilling, creepy…it had sent a chill up his spine. He turned his head toward the mansion and looked into a window…

Oh, Spooky was at the window! Heartwing beamed and waved to his cousin. "_Aloha_!" He called out.

Spooky simply blinked. Then he backed away from the window. Heartwing raised an eyebrow. How…odd. His cousins were usually a lot more cheerful than…wait…something had been wrong with Spooky's appearance…didn't he normally have YELLOW eyes? And…why had Spooky felt so cold looking at him?

Heartwing decided to go to the door. He walked up the steps that led to the front door and grabbed the handle…

He was violently expelled from the door, and he went flying high…higher…higher…

He spun around in the air, but finally righted himself and flapped his wings. He'd been thrown 200 yards away! Wow! He looked at the mansion, growling. No, something was not right at all. And he knew exactly what…

That house…

It had been haunted for real not that long ago. When Heartwing had first entered the mansion, weeks ago, he had smelled the scent of dark, sad things lurking within, or rather, what was left of those dark things. Spooky's presence had caused them to essentially lie dormant.

As Page might put it, the things had "Gotten thee behind Spooky". He was holding them back. Or rather…he'd BEEN holding them back. Now the dark things were freed, though it wasn't all Spooky's fault. Something had triggered it…but what?

Didn't matter. Gotta stop it, the dragon thought. Have to!

Uh oh.

Nick and the other contestants in the contest were going in!

Heartwing dove, trying to stop them…too late! The door slammed shut. He landed hard on the porch and grabbed the handle. With all of his might he tugged and tugged, ignoring the harsh stabbing pains that the dark energy-ridden house was giving him, it's aura threatening to swallow his. But he couldn't break into it. He jumped away, growling angrily.

"Hey draggy boy. What's wrong?"

Heartwing looked behind him. 625 and Gantu were standing there. 625 was eating the last bit of a triple-decker meat sandwich with mayo and onions, and Gantu was sipping a cola. Page was standing next to them, looking concerned with Heartwing's distressed appearance.

"Something troubles you, my cousin?"

Heartwing pointed at the mansion. "It! It's in there! All dark, all bad! The bad stuff…EVIL in there!"

625 gulped. "Uh…yeah, about that, uh…turns out the doc kinda left a booby trap for your little cousin Spooky. It was a package that had a dark energy sample in it that the doctor had saved from some earlier experiments. Apparently this old house was supposed to be the "focal point of negative readings" and since Spooky lived here, well…"

Heartwing, Gantu and Page all blinked. "Huh?" "What?" "???" 625 sighed. "I don't understand it too well, but I'll try to explain…"

MEANWHILE, INSIDE THE HOUSE…

Myrtle and her posse scream. Pleakley screams. Jumba blinks. Victoria and Lilo look at Nick and Keoni. Keoni grabbed Victoria's hand. And Stitch has his mouth slightly open, his eyebrows down slightly, confused.

"Huh? Cousin? What's…what's wrong?"

Nani is furious. "This isn't Halloween, Spooky. Quit playing jokes! It's not funny."

"Lilo, get your…your freaky green blob under control!" Myrtle shouted.

"Yeaaah!" Her posse exclaimed.

Lilo nodded, putting her hands on her hips. "They're right, Spooky. I can't believe you'd threaten to hurt us! That's not funny!"

The thing that looked like Spooky laughed, black eyes glimmering. "I'm sorry, Spooky's not here right now. He's just a tenant, and I'M the landlord."

"Spooky, quit it!" Lilo said angrily.

"Stop deluding yourself." The thing said. "Do not cling to a lie."

Stitch suddenly growled. "Naga cousin!" He said. Nick, who had been stupefied, finally spoke. "Guys, this…this isn't Spooky! He's got yellow eyes, not black, and…he feels wrong. His, like…his aura is off. I don't know what this thing is, but it's NOT Spooky!"

Not-Spooky cackled. "Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha! About time you figured it out. By the way, I owe 626 and the girl some thanks for allowing Spooky here. His abilities will be useful. As thanks, I'll be sure to give him a nice clean death when I take the life I need from all of you, starting…"

He looked at Lilo, sneering, slowly advancing. "With you, dear girl."

Stitch suddenly rushed forward, grabbing Not-Spooky and throwing him with all of his might. "RUN!" Nick shouted. Suddenly fog swept in, blinding, choking, making it almost impossible to see. "Run?" Not-Spooky asked, mocking. "Where are you going to go?" Myrtle was sobbing hysterically, and Pleakley was screaming over and over. Jumba looked around, his quadocular vision not helping him one bit.

Victoria suddenly called out from behind them. "I've got the door handle that leads outside! Let's run!" "That's not me!" Victoria shouted from the side. "That's Spooky imitating me! I'm over here!" "No, I'm over here!" "HERE!" "HERE!"

Nick did the only thing he could think of. "BRING THE HEAT!" Nick shouted, holding a palm high. A fireball sprung up from the palm, and flared in his hand. Now he could see the faint outline of a door in front of him. "Follow me, guys! Quick!" He ran to the door, still holding the flame high, and pulled the door open. "Everyone into this door! NOW!"

All of them rushed past Nick, and when Victoria (who was the last one) passed him by Nick rushed in, slamming the door shut and locking it.

The fireball fizzled into nothing in his palm and he sighed, wiping his brow on his t-shirt sleeve. "Phew! Safe…"

"Yeah, like a locked door's gonna stop that thing!" Myrtle said, shaking madly. She and her posse were holding tightly onto each other.

Lilo shivered slightly. Even though she was a very brave girl, she was scared as well. Stitch looked at the door, not blinking once.

"What's wrong with Spooky?" Victoria asked Lilo. "He's acting really weird."

"Naga Spooky." Stitch said, though it was almost impossible to hear. He was practically whispering it. "Naga cousin. Thing…thing was naga cousin. Felt wrong…felt bad near him. Spooky naga like that. Thing back there…naga cousin. Was something else. Something…really bad."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, that thing felt really…well, WRONG. Not like Spooky at all! He gave me the willies when I simply looked at him!" Lilo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and Spooky just likes scaring people, not threatening them." Jumba nodded as well, brushing back his three hairs. "Is true. Did not design experiment to physically harm populace but to psychologically do so. To, shall we say, scare pants off of people."

"Well what's going on now then?" Nick asked. "Why is all that fog appearing? And why is it so fracking COLD in here? I mean, gee whiz, it's like the inside of an igloo!"

Jumba closed his eyes and concentrated, thinking hard. He "hmmed" over and over. Finally his eyes snapped open. "Is only one way to be testing what is truly happening. Stitch, if you would be so kind as to attempt to break down kitchen door?"

Stitch eagerly bounded over. He raised a fist and thrust it towards the door.

BOOM!

Stitch flew back, violently repelled by some strange black shield that had popped up from the door. Suddenly everyone saw that the same shield, this dark aura almost, was covering all of the walls and the only window in the room, not just simply the door.

"Knew it. House is infested with dark energy, probably as a result of dark catalyst. Hamsterveil's work, no doubt. House was already housing dark energy in fairly large amounts, but this new threat has not only reawakened them, but strengthened them."

"Huh?"

"When Experiment 300 first came here, house really was, as you put it, haunted. But because you managed to stop him in time, the dark energy present in this house that Spooky was affecting did not truly awaken, and Spooky was not nearly dark enough to be a catalyst on his own in any case."

"So when we first came in here, it was all scary and stuff because the house really WAS haunted? And dark energy caused it?"

"Yes. Dark energy is not necessarily always pertaining to hatred or angry emotions…or perverted sex urges." He added, face darkening at the memory of 561. "Is also associated with sadness as well, and unhappiness…and this house has seen much of that. Emotional residue left trace amounts of dark energy that caused house to become haunted."

"Okay, so the place was already filled with bad feelings, but they didn't really affect the house or us because Spooky wasn't evil enough to get them really riled up?"

"Basically, little girl." Jumba said, nodding at Lilo. "But Hamsterviel has no doubt introduced a powerful catalyst, a trigger that overpowered Spooky and enabled the dark energy present already in this house to be awakened from its sleep. Now the dark energy that fills this house, the spirits of this house…they can affect us. But if intrusive dark energy within Spooky was exorcised, then things would return to normal, since house is primarily relying on it, drawing power from that catalyst. It's sort of a battery AND a, what is word?"

"Uh, jumper cable?" Nick suggested.

"Right. Is battery and jumper cable in one."

"We're trapped inside a haunted house filled with angry spirits and a little monster that's even more of one than he was before!" Pleakley shouted. He grabbed onto Nani. "_Hold me_!" "Pleakley, get a grip!" She said. "Calm down."

To tell the truth, Nani was afraid as well. But not for herself but for Lilo, Victoria Pleakley and the other girls. She didn't want them to be hurt. Nick, Stitch, Jumba, they could hold their own, but Lilo and the others couldn't. Neither could Nani really, but Nani was more worried about the kids who had their whole life ahead of them and Pleakley who had a hard enough time making dinner, let alone fend off an experiment.

"What are we gonna do?" Pleakley asked. Nick looked at a cupboard over in the corner. "Well, maybe we should try to eat something before we make any plans. Can't come up with a good escape on an empty stomach!" "Yeah, well Jumba here ate 6 hot dogs and drak 5 sodas before we came in." Pleakley said, poking Jumba in the stomach. Jumba glared at Pleakley and pointed at his eye. "Want I should be poking EYE out, noodle man?!?"

Myrtle walked over to the cupboard. "I haven't eaten anything yet, I'm STARVING." She opened the door.

And screamed…

OUTSIDE…

"Oh my…" Page said when 625 finished.

"That's a…that's a lot to swallow, trog." Gantu added, mouth wide open.

Heartwing said nothing. He simply blinked. Then he turned his large eyes to the instruments, eyes blinking very…very…slowly. "Let's go." He suddenly said, running over and picking up the guitar. "_Ohana_ needs help!" He said, holding them high.

Page blinked. "Wait…what is your intent?" Heartwing grinned and ran up the stairs again with the guitars. He put one down and then strummed the other one's strings. "Oh…" He sang. The black aura that was shimmering around the door suddenly began to dim…

"You look like an angel…"

(Look like an angel…)

"Walk like an angel…"

(Walk like an angel…)

"Talk like an angel…but I got wiiiiise…" He began to really play, now moving his body to the song. "You're the devil, oh yes you are, the devil in disguise! You fooled me with your kisses, you cheated and you schemed!"

Page, 625 and Gantu suddenly noticed that the aura was fading away!

"Heaven knows how you lied to me…"

It vanished in a flash of light.

"You're not the way you seem!" With that, Heartwing stopped playing and turned around, bowing. 625 clapped. "Nice job, cuz! How'd you know that would work?" "Music eternal, infinite, unlimited…makes people happy, makes them _feel_…evil usually hates people feeling."

"Dark energy is destroyed when melodies are played? Why?" "Music is a thing of light and joy." Page said. "That is why you read about "harp playing" in the Bible, because music is associated with the infinite and unlimited. It is something that evil despises because it is often associated with good."

"Hatred by association? Is music really that important?"

"There's a story I was told by Father Joe. He got it from a Jewish man he met on the street. People were praying to God in a synagogue, but he wouldn't answer. Then a man entered who could not speak a word for he was mute, and all he knew how to do was whistle. And so he whistled as best he could. The people, the rabbi, his assistants, all of them inside the synagogue were horrified, but then they heard God speak, and he said "Now I shall accept the prayers of my people". Music saved the day."

625 scratched his head. "Well can it save those poor guys in there?" He asked. "Grab those Bass guitars and let's find out." Page said, grabbing a drum set. "At the very least, we can inspire our trapped friends with a rousing song!"

INSIDE…

Myrtle screamed and jumped back as the red eyes of…

A mouse…stared at her. Nick sighed. "It's just a mouse. At least there are no rats in here. I read that you don't get rats where you find mice, I think that was in a "Molly Moon" book."

Lilo looked around at everyone. "Come on, guys! We gotta think of a plan? Anyone got anything?"

"Hmm…nope, I got nothing." Nick said.

"Am afraid am having no idea of what to be doing."

"Don't look at ME, I'm just trying to survive! Here's a plan, Duck, Cover, Waa!"

"I thought that only worked on earthquakes."

"It'll work here too! Waa!"

"Myrtle? Teresa? Elena? Yuki?"

"Uh, do you have any ideas girls?"

"Noooo!"

"I'm sorry but I don't have any ideas either, Lilo."

"Ditto for me."

"It's okay Victoria, Keoni. Stitch?"

"Got naga."

"Does ANYONE have any idea-"

"Enough games. I tire of watching your lips move. I want to see screams!"

Suddenly a snaky form burst from the ceiling. It was Not-Spooky! He wrapped around Lilo and hauled her up with incredible speed. She barely had time to register what was happening. "You shall come with me." He said calmly. "Naga!" Stitch shouted, jumping up but Not-Spooky suddenly struck him down and then…both were gone. Stitch ran to the kitchen door and kicked it open.

"Come on!" He snarled. "Save Lilo!" "Right!" Nick shouted. "Let's go get her back!" He ran after Stitch, only turning around to call out to Jumba. "Look after everyone else and meet us back in the main hall!" He shouted. He and Stitch ran for main stairs and began jumping up them two at a time, ignoring the creaking sounds they made.

Jumba and the others piled out of the kitchen into the main hall. Jumba's brow was furrowed in worry. "Jumba?" Nani asked. "Will they be okay?" "I…am not knowing. And I HATE not knowing! What can we do? My poor experiment 300 is possessed by intense dark energy presence, there are few ways to combat it!"

"What DOES work?"

"Light energy for one, but experiment 421 is not here. Music also works very well, was playing Classical in lab while doing experiments, dark energy began to dissipate. But we have no instruments…"

"Did you just say you needed 421 AND music?"

They whipped their heads towards the direction where a familiar Brooklyn accented experiment had spoken. He was on the drums, grinning, and Heartwing was on the guitar. He tossed a guitar to Keoni, who caught it. Victoria ran over and grabbed another, and Jumba went to the drums. Pleakley took a bass, and fingered it. Gantu stood to the side, holding onto two loudspeakers that were connected to the instruments.

Myrtle and her posse stood there, stunned. Victoria smiled. She knew exactly what to do. She tugged at Nani's shirt and whispered in her ear. Then she turned to Myrtle.

"Hey, weren't you guys going to sing our song? "Can't Help Falling In Love", right?"

Myrtle blushed. "Yeah, but why are you…oh wait…" Suddenly Myrtle Emdonds "got it". She turned to her posse. "Teresa? Elena? Yuki? Want to do a little bit of practice?" They all eagerly nodded. "Yeaaah!"

Jumba "pinged" on of the cymbals on the drum set with his drumstick. "In the little girl's words…let's rock a hula!"

UPSTAIRS…

Lilo shivered in the corner of the room she'd been thrown at. She was facing Not-Spooky and was absolutely terrified. He gave off waves of evil from his body, and was looking at her, blinking slowly…eyelids not converging normally in a top and bottom fashion but left and right.

"So at last we truly get a chance to be acquainted. I have been waiting a very long time to see you, Lilo Pelekai. Spooky's mind has revealed much about you."

"What…what are you?" She whispered.

Spooky laughed, throwing his stolen head back. "You want to know what I am? I am everything people fear, despise…everything they hate, and everything they cannot eventually escape."

Suddenly Not-Spooky changed shape. Now he was a huge American grizzly bear, with green teeth and razor sharp claws. His eyes were sunken and he sneered.

"I am the God of the Lost…"

He changed shape to that of a boar's head on a pike, tusks gleaming, blood dripping down, every little "drip-drip" capturing Lilo's attention.

"I am the Lord of the Flies…"

Then he was a shadow being who seemed to be made up of black energy, with tiny red dots all around his body, a bloodlike aura dripping from his body as if it was rain slipping off of him.

"I am He Who Walks Among the Rows…"

Now he was a clawed, hunchbacked monster with large fangs and a tail that beat the floor anxiously, eyes bug-like in appearance and peering anxiously at her.

"I am the Boogeyman…"

He became one form after another.

"I am a demon, a specter of ultimate evil, a phantom of hatred and fear, the darkside to all things light…but you may refer to me as simply…"

Now he changed form for the last time.

"Cloak."

He was now a cloaked being. You could not see into the hooded cloak he wore, and it covered all of his body. You could just barely see his hands sticking out of his arm sleeves, but they had no features. They were completely black, the same as the inside of his hood. His black eyes were almost impossible to see, save for the eerie shine they had in the dim light of the room. The being called Cloak raised his hand and made a motion with it.

He smiled, revealing pearly white teeth.

Suddenly Lilo found herself floating towards this thing. She screamed and tried to struggle, but she was surrounded by a completely black orb of energy, and she couldn't move. She drifted through the air towards him, until suddenly it popped, and she fell…but only for a second. Suddenly his hand grabbed her by her neck and he lifted her up. Now Lilo's tearful brown eyes looked into Cloak's own black ones.

He suddenly stiffened, then smirked slightly. "Ah, if only you hear Spooky right now."

Lilo blinked. Spooky was still inside that…that thing?

"He's sobbing. Begging me not to hurt you. Such foolish sentiment. How very sad."

The idea that Spooky was still trying to keep her unharmed made Lilo feel a tiny bit better, but not by much. Worse still this "Cloak" was pulling her closer to him. He suddenly reached up with his other hand and very gently wiped a tear off of her cheek.

"The world can be a cruel place." He said, voice as soft as satin. "One that cares little for the fate of a little girl, no matter how innocent she may be."

Lilo suddenly wanted to scream, but she couldn't. All she could do was stare. She had a terrible feeling what he was about to do, and she didn't want the kind of compassion he had for her. It may have been sympathy, but it was a terrible kind…

"Your friends are coming to aid you, little one. But…they will not be able to save you."

He brushed her cheek again. "Such a sweet little child…not long for this cruel, cruel world…"

The kind you show towards a dog you mean to have put to sleep.

BANG!

The door flew open.

"NAGA HURT LILO!" "PUT HER DOWN!!!"

Stitch and Nick stood there, fury in Stitch's eyes as he clenched and unclenched all four of his fists. Nick's fists were shaking, and his eyebrows were so furrowed down that they almost were closed, his face contorted with a mix of anger against this freak and concern for Lilo.

Cloak shook his head. "I, the physical manifestation of ultimate evil's soul, bow to the whim of a lost little space dog and a troubled youth? I think not."

Stitch growled "Then you DIE." "Let her go!" Nick shouted as they both rushed at Cloak, who smirked. "Let her go NOW! I luh-"

WHAM! A chair suddenly flew into him. He sprang back, face stinging. Stitch jumped at Cloak, who closed his eyes then snapped them open. Now they glowed utterly red. Stitch was suddenly flung back, red tentacles wrapping around him, springing from the wall and pulling him tight to it, not letting him go. More sprang around Nick's feet as he tried to rush at Cloak again. He collided with the floor, hitting his chin.

"YOW!" He shouted. He glared up at Cloak. "Let us all go or so help me, I'll…I'll…"

Cloak laughed. "You'll do WHAT? Swear at me? Spit at me? That would do little to help HER." He sneered, tightening his grip on her. "Now my dear, it's time. You will be a fine meal indeed."

Stitch was going nuts, squirming and snarling as he tried to break free, shouting in Tantalog, half begging and half demanding that Lilo be released. Nick began trying to crawl towards them, but he couldn't, the tentacles held him back. He raised a hand. "No! TOXIC BU-"

Cloak moved Lilo in front of him. "If you do that, she'll die." He said. Nick stopped. He couldn't bring himself to endanger Lilo, even though this freak might hurt her all the same. He started crying, sobbing into the floor. "No-no-noooooo! Leave her alooone!"

Cloak turned back to Lilo. "Now then, it is time. Your digestion won't really begin for about two weeks, but you'll be kept alive not only until then, but well beyond. Your conciouness will still live on as I digest you little by little over the centuries. It will be delicious to feed off of your bones, your meat…" He licked his lips, revealing a bright red tongue. "…And your heart your soul. Open wide my precious…" He moved Lilo towards the dark recesses of his hood. She screamed. Stitch howled. Nick wailed.

Suddenly Cloak stopped and blinked, thinking. "You know…a bigger audience would be so much more…satisfying to have around. I could feed of off THEIR misery as well!"

He raised a hand and snapped his fingers. Suddenly they were teleported out of the room, as darkness enveloped them all. And then…they were back in the main hall. Cloak had his back to the front door. He looked around. "Where are those-"

Then he, Stitch, Nick and Lilo saw them.

"Let's rock a hula!" Victoria shouted. Nick blinked. Wait…what were they doing?

**BGM: Can't Help Falling In Love, by ATeens **

Nani led the harmony, and then Myrtle and the girls began to sing.

_"Do-doo-doooo! I-I just can't help falling in love with you!" _

Victoria began to sing, her voice soft and gentle.

_"Wise men say…only fooools rush innn…but I...can't…helllp…falling in looove with yooou! Should…I staaay? Would it beeee…a…siiiin?" _

Suddenly Keoni sang out. "Be a siiiiin?"

_"If I…can't…helllp…falling in looove with yooou?" _

Nick suddenly understood what to do. HE began to sing, winking at Stitch and Lilo. _"Like a river floows…to the sea…so it goooes…some things are meant to beee!"_

Myrtle and her posse sang out the next line, posing as they sang out each word.

_"Some things are meant-to-be!" _

Now everyone sang out, save for Stitch and Lilo, who were still mystified. But then Lilo noticed that Cloak was uncomfortable, shivering in fear.

_"Take myyyyy hand! Take my whooole life toooo!" _

_"Whole life too!" _

_"For I…can't…helllp…falling in looove…with yoooou!" _

Suddenly Lilo got it. She began to sing.

_"Wise men say…only fooooools…rush iiiiin!" _

She smiled at Nick. _"But I, I can't-I can't helllp…falling in looove…"_

_"Falling in love…" _

_"With you!" _

_"With you!" _

Cloak snarled, grabbing his head and dropping Lilo. The tentacles burst into nothingness. Lilo ran to Nick, and the two hugged. Keoni sang, with Victoria looking admiringly at him as they stood side to side, playing.

_"Like a river flooows…to the sea…so it goooes…some things are meant to be!" _

Victoria grinned and gave him a thumbs up. Myrtle and her posse did their thing!

_"Some things are meant to beee!" _

Cloak screamed. "STOP IT! I CAN'T STAND THAT MUSIC!"

"Keep it up, guys!"

_"Take myyyyy hand! Take my whooole life toooo!" _

_"Whole life too!" _

_"For I…can't…helllp…falling in looove…with yoooou!" _

Nick looked into Lilo's eyes. "May I, uh…have this dance?" "I'd love to!" She said, smiling. The two began to waltz. Stitch began to dance with Myrtle and her friends, along with Page, who was wearing a hula skirt. Gantu bobbed his head to the music, smiling broadly, eyes shut as he listened.

_"Take myyyyy hand! Take my whooole life toooo!" _

_"Whole life too!" _

_"For I…can't…helllp…falling in looove…with yoooou!" _

Nick twirled Lilo around, and then they swung each other. "Ha-ha! This is how our grandparents did it! Come on, more kicking! Yeah, like that!"

Cloak was wailing, turning back into Spooky, who's eye colors kept chaning from black to yellow.

_"For I…can't…helllp…falling in love…" _

_"Love…" _

_"Love…" _

_"Falling in love with yoooou!" _

Nani sang out, grinning at Pleakley, who was jamming like a master, and Jumba, who drummed like mad, headbanging as he did so.

_"Like a river flows, that's the way it goes, I just can't help falling in love with you!" _

_"Falling in love with you!"_ Lilo shouted out.

_"Take…myyy haaaand…cuz I can't help…falling in love with you!" Keoni sang._

_"I just can't help myself, can't help myself, I just keep falling, falling in love with yooou!"_ Myrtle and her posse sang, with Page and Stitch as harmony.

Cloak howled. "NOOOOO…"

_"Take…my haaand…"_ Nick sang out happily, twirling Lilo around.

_"For I…" _

_"Can't help…" _

_"**Falling in love with you!**"_ Everyone sang.

(End music.)

Cloak screamed, and suddenly…it was as if a black blanket was torn off of Spooky. It floated into the air, wailing…and then vanished in a puff of dark smoke and a blast of something that smelled awful, probably brimstone. Spooky collapsed on the floor, groaning.

Stitch bounded into the air over and over, cheering, with Page hugging him. A minute later Myrtle and her posse were hugging them too, and began throwing them into the air, cheering. "Yahoo! Yipee! All right! Woohoo!"

Jumba and Pleakley walked over to each other. "Jumba, would you join me in the Ancient Dance of Victory?" "I would be honored." Jumba said, bowing. They then grabbed each other's hands and rang around the rosy, singing "We did it, we did it, we did it" over and over.

Nick looked into Lilo's eyes again. "I'm so glad you're okay!" He said. "Uh…Nick?" "Yeah?" "You're a really nice dancer." She said, smiling. Nick's rosy cheeks turned redder than normal. "Aw, huh-huh…heh, shucks, it's nothing." She tickled him, making him laugh. "Don't be so humble!" She said, tickling him. He guffawed. "Stop it!" He laughed. "You're gonna make me smile!"

Nani ran over and hugged them both in mid tickle. "I'm so glad you're okay." She whispered. "I wouldn't want anything to happen to you! If something happened I'd never forgive myself…I promised I'd take care of you, and when you just got taken, I was…I was just…"

Lilo hugged her older sister tightly. "It's okay, Nani." She said, smiling as a single tear went down her cheek. "We're okay, aren't we?" "Better than okay." Nick said. "Fantastic." "Even if you weren't up there with Stitch and Nick, I'd still think you're the best older sister I could ever had."

Nani cried gently onto Lilo's shoulder. "Oh, Lilo! You're the best younger sis I could ask for…"

Nick felt both warm and slightly fuzzy. "Awww." He immediately thought. "How do you feel, Stitch?" He asked.

Stitch grinned as the girls heaved him into the air again. "I'm okay! I'm fluffy!"

Nick nodded. "Well, we've got to get back to the Karaoke competition! So let's get going everyone! How about we all do an encore performance? Goldilocks, Old Buddy-Big Dummy, whaddya say?"

625 and Gantu shook their heads. "Uh-uh! Look, we really just came for the festivities. We were only helping you out because it wouldn't have been right to just leave my cousin here to die, along with those other kids. Besides, Page said he'd put in a good word to Father Joe."

"Drop in on Sunday." Page said, nodding. "I'll try and see if Father Joe will allow you and Gantu to join the Catholic faith. I am however, worried that Gantu won't fit into the confessional…"

"Hey Keoni, that was…uh…really great guitar playing." Victoria said, nervously drawing an imaginary circle on the floor with her foot, her hands behind her back. Keoni's face was as red as his hair.

"Well, uh…it's nothing, I practice a lot and stuff, you know, after school and all…um…you uh, have a nice voice. A really nice one."

Victoria turned red as HER hair. "Gee, I just uh…I practice a lot after school too, and uh…you know, stuff…" "Yeah, I know stuff." "Who doesn't?"

Spooky stood up, rubbing his head. "Ohhh…what happened?" He asked in Tantalog. 625 walked over to him. "It's a long story, cuz." He said in Tantalog. "But we'll tell you it outside, okay?"

MUCH LATER…

**BGM: PM's Love Theme, by Craig Armstrong **

The fireworks exploded in the night sky, eliciting "oohs" and "ahhs" and "ohhs" from everyone watching. Nick and Lilo sat on the grass, watching them intently. Nick smiled happily as one exploded in a circular burst of green, blue and white, followed up by a large "shotgun-style" blast of gold and red.

"Beautiful. I just LOVE fireworks! I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing them. Too bad the Karaoke machine broke down. I hope they fix it soon."

Lilo looked over at him. She seemed preoccupied with something. Finally she said something.

"Nick, uh, back in that room with that…that Cloak guy…you were about to say something."

Nick looked to Lilo. "Huh?" He asked, turning a bit red.

"You were saying "Let her go! I luh-" and then you got hit by that chair."

"Yeah, I still feel a bit sore from it."

"So, uh…what were uh…" Lilo was red in the face too. "Um, what were you going to say."

The fireworks began to grow larger…booming like thunder.

"Well, uh, Lilo…I've been meaning to tell you this for, well…for a while. You see, I've been kinda wanting to say this for like, a month, and…well, I…Lilo…I…"

BOOM! POW! KAFWOOOSH!

"Yeah?"

"Lilo, I…"

He gulped. "I like you. I really, REALLY like you. I like-like you."

Lilo blinked, looking taken aback.

"Lilo, I think I…well…"

Suddenly she hugged him. "I really really like you too." She said happily, joyfully, hugging him tightly.

Nick blinked for a moment, and then an utterly **wonderful** feeling came over him. He hugged Lilo tightly, and the two sat together, locked in that deep embrace as fireworks exploded overhead to the admiration of the crowd. A tear flowed down his cheek as he looked up at the heavens, a smile spread all over his face, over both his and Lilo's. Lilo broke the embrace and looked into Nick's eye and gently kissed him on the cheek.

He blushed and kissed her back.

And later, when the finale came, Nick and Lilo still were sitting, holding onto each other's shoulders as they watched the fireworks, not saying anything.

Because sometimes…

You don't have to say anything at all.

And sometimes…not saying it, but just…just KNOWING in your heart…feels even better than saying it.

(Music ends.)

**Author's Note: **

**And so Season Two ends, dramatically, romantically, and in a very Lilo and Stitch fashion too! Now begins Season Three, which will not be so much more of the same as it will be "bigger, better and newly improved". It's ever the same, and yet not, for the plotlines will not simply be driven by what only Nick, Lilo and Stitch do. No, it's going to be more complex than that…and the effect is sweeeet. **

**So what did you think of this chapter? Liked it? Thought it was corny? Thought I should have added this or changed that? Read and review, tell me what you think of my story! I really do enjoy seeing that I have reviews and hits on my story. And once again, I want to say I don't own Lilo and Stitch, though I wish I did, or anything by Disney. **

**I'll update in about a week or so, with the next chapter, the opening of Season Three…a big opening at that! So until next time, aloha for now! **


	35. Tales of Kokaua Town

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

TALES OF KOKAUA TOWN

Everyone, not matter who they are, how old they are, where they come from or what they may appear to be, has a story to tell.

Kokaua Town is filled with people who all have stories to tell…

**The Tale of Nick: Brother, My Brother**

Nick sat on a park bench, waiting for Lilo. He wondered how long she was going to take.

That morning they'd promised to meet for lunch at the park after going off to do hula practice and surfing practice, with Nani and David respectfully.

David.

Heh.

Nick heard the sound of crying and looked behind him. A little kid with messy black hair had fallen to the ground. Apparently his brother, a ratty-haired red-head who was looking very guilty, had accidentally tripped him.

There was Charlie, running to help him up. "Are you okay?" "Sniff…I…I think so…" "Go get your mom, Shaun. I'll look after Fleming here." "Right!"

Fleming ran off. Nick sighed. Now how many times had he accidentally tripped his own brother, David? Not too many. Now how many times had he and his brother _deliberately_ tripped each other?

Tons of times.

Nick groaned. Why oh why did he keep thinking about David? Dave was a total jerk to him. He didn't like anything Nick did, didn't ever want to hang out, always wanted him away from his stuff…it was like David had become a grouchy teenager early, and Nick had whipped right through the phase in one year.

Unfortunately, David was now apparently STUCK in the "grouchy teen" years. He was cynical, critical of everything Nick did (good reason or not) and the two brothers weren't above fighting occasionally. REAL fighting.

Nick thought back, thinking about one of the truly happy memories he had.

**BGM: Eternity Memory of Lightwaves, by Noriko Matsueda & Takahito Eguchi**

_It's you and me._

_Outside. The backyard. Playing in the sprinkler. Someone…is it Mom? Think so…_

_We're happy, I know that. Someone takes the shot with the camera…we're playing forever, always happy and smiling._

_Then…_

_Oh, we're in the playroom. We've got all the Legos out. There's my guy, Zack Katarn, the one I got from the "Star Wars" set. The one I worked on, made into a Jedi Knight._

_I always had these grand dreams of fantasy I wanted to play out then._

_But you had your own. I should have listened to you._

_What…_

_Oh…oh!_

_Disneyland! I can't believe it's Disneyland again! I really missed this memory. There's me and you, and Grandma, and Mom and Dad, still together…_

_The teacups…that big wooden roller coaster that goes down near those falls…it was a beautiful day…_

_Now we're fighting. _

_Don't know what about. You say something. I'm angry. I…_

_I almost hit you. You DO hit me. Nose is bleeding. Outside. Crying. _

_Can't…can't remember why…_

_Something else…I'm pinning you down. _

"_You deserve this! You little brat! You deserve this! You've had this coming for a long time!"_

"_Get off me, you fat pig!" _

"_You little jerk! I'm not letting you go until you apologize for all the times you made fun of me-You SPAT at me!"_

"_Get off you fat fu-"_

_Mom. Pillows being thrown. Smothering. Punching. Kicking._

_And endless cycle. Brief periods of peace. Respite. The occasional glimpse of the Dave I knew and loved. Then arguing. Bickering. Hatred. _

_Fighting._

_I…_

_Dave…_

_I…_

_I still…_

_I still want…_

_I still want you to…to…_

"Are you alright?"

Nick looked to the side and saw that Charlie had sat next to him. "You okay?"

"I'm…just…just fine…no, I'm not. My brother hates me. We're always fighting, always arguing, he's…he's not the kid with the hair that never got messed up anymore. He's not the kid who was always happy to play with me. Not the kid who…who no matter what happened, at the end of the day, was always willing to listen. Now he won't listen. It…it HURTS, Charlie. I know he's getting old, but I don't think he's growing u-"

"He'll always love you." Charlie said.

"Huh?"

"He'll always love you, no matter what happens. You gotta believe that."

"I do?"

"If you don't believe that, then you'll be lost. You gotta keep those memories in your heart and hold on. Be as nice and as helpful to your brother as you can, and try to be a good role model. That's what he needs."

"But he doesn't want me as an older brother. He'd rather have one of his best friends be his older brother, like Avi or Matt or Dan or Marshall…"

"Nick…who's his family?"

"I am."

"So why are you worrying? You're family. Nothing's ever gonna change that."

"A million things could!"

"And a million things couldn't."

"…so I should just do my best?"

"That's all the old David would want. And it's what the new David wants too, deep down."

Nick nodded, looking up at the sky as the clouds moved slowly by. "I still…I still wish that just…well, just once in a while, maybe he'd at least say…well, I love him, and I know he loves me."

"Of course he does."

"It would just be nice if he'd…if he'd say he loved me too once in a while."

"David really loves you, Nick."

"I know, I know Charlie. I…I just want him to SAY it, that's all…"

Nick let out a long sigh.

"I just wish, just once, that he'd turn to me and say-"

Nick suddenly stopped talking, stiffening.

"Wait…I never told you my brother's na-"

But now Nick was sitting all alone on the bench, with Lilo walking up to him. "Hey Nick! You look kinda pale. Did you eat too much ice cream?" Nick looked around, whipping his head. He turned to Lilo. "Did you see Charlie anywhere?" "No. Why?"

Nick shivered. "…no reason. Uh…let's go for a walk, okay? I wanna tell you about my brother a little."

Nick stood up and took Lilo's hand, and they walked around the bench and down through the park trail as the clouds slowly moved in the sky.

Nick turned back to look at the bench, and saw Charlie waving at him. He blinked…

Charlie was gone.

"Thanks, Charlie." Nick thought, and turned back to his girlfriend.

The camera pans out, showing Nick and Lilo walking away, with the faint image of David Grey walking behind him, perfect hair unmoving and holding a sprinkler hose. (The music ends.)

**The Tale of Stitch: This Side of Paradise**

Stitch walked out of the movie theater with Angel, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She waved goodbye and walked off. "I'll meet up with you at the beach!" He called out in Galactic, or rather, Tantalog.

Once Angel was out of sight his grin faded instantly and he shuffled down the sidewalk, miserable.

The movie they had gone to seen, in case you were wondering, was "Highlander".

Now do you know why he was depressed?

When he and Lilo had gone into the future, he hadn't changed in physical appearance, though they'd skipped ahead twenty years. That had worried him in the back of his mind.

And now seeing that movie…

It had made him wonder.

What if he just…what if he just kept on living? Suppose he outlived not only his creator, but his whole family?

The idea made him sick. He didn't want to outlive his family. Especially not Lilo.

He slowly walked down the sidewalk, wondering if he should talk to someone. He saw the church a few blocks down and walked in. Father Joe, grey-haired and beaming, bowed. "It's very nice to see you, my son. I take it young Stitch that you are, ah, visiting Page?"

Stitch nodded. "Ih."

"Page my boy, one of your brother's is here to see you."

Page walked out of a door, closing it gently. He noticed Stitch and waved, walking over. "Stitch! Brother! _Aloha_! How have you been doing?" Stitch shrugged. Page hugged him. "I had best continue where you left off." Father Joe said. "I'll finish up the tax forms." "Okay. But if you need help with the 1012 form, I'm right here."

Page looked into Stitch's eyes and suddenly pulled away. "Brother, something seems to be very wrong with you. Is there something you wish to talk about?"

"Ih."

"Well…you may want to come into the confessional."

"Naga Catholic."

"We need the privacy, and I think that God can make an exception just this once. You seem to have lost all of your spirit, Stitch. Has someone stolen the joy from your heart?"

Stitch walked into the confessional and sighed. He sat down. Page sat down on the other side.

"Now…tell me what the matter is."

Stitch let out a long sigh and then told him, in Tantalog, how he felt. Page listened intently. Then he gasped when he heard Stitch speak of…

"Brother, don't speak of that! That is the ultimate act of cowardice and selfishness! You cannot even _THINK_ of doing that now. Your family needs you. Now go think about this."

"What about…well…"

"I wish I could help you with knowing when we shall die, but that is up to God. Only He knows when people shall die. Farewell, brother. You must not let those evil thoughts into your heart."

Stitch left the church, feeling depressed, possibly even more so than he had been before. He walked across the road and over to the park, sitting on a bench near a swingset.

Someone tapped him on the head. He looked up and saw big, bright blue eyes looking right into him.

"Hiiiii!" Charlie said, beaming.

"Huh…hiiii." Stitch said, not much happiness in his greeting. Charlie walked around the bench and faced Stitch. "You look down in the dumps. Wanna swing?"

"Why naga?" Stitch said, hopping off the bed and getting on the swing. But he didn't swing much, just a couple inches back and forth. Charlie sat on the swing next to him. "What's wrong, Stitch?"

"Me…me worried."

"Why?"

Stitch tried to find the words. "Stitch…Stitch worried he naga get old…like _ohana_ get old. Like Lilo. Like Nick. Stitch naga wanna live to see _ohana_ die. Stitch…Stitch naga wanna bury _ohana_."

Charlie suddenly whacked Stitch on the arm. "So you're worried you'll outlive them? That's _it_?"

Stitch suddenly felt angry. He growled.

"Don't you get it? I don't think you WILL outlive them, but even if you're built to last longer…you'll always be there."

Stitch blinked. "Huh?" He said, tilting his head.

"You'll be the tether that will never break for as long as your family lives. Others may come and go from their lives but if you're gonna live for as long as you think you'll live, then you'll always be there, for their marriages, their first kids, their grandkids, by the bedside…you'll always be there. And people need someone to always be there, no matter what happens…and you could _be_ that someone. Is that really such a bad thing?"

Stitch blinked slowly.

"Stitch…living for a long time's not so bad. Look at it this way…Lilo may be getting old, and planning on leaving Hawaii…she may get married and have kids in the mainland…but tell me, do you wanna miss that?"

"Naga…naga for the world!" Stitch said, suddenly feeling…oddly content.

Charlie beamed again. "THAT'S the Stitch we all love! You'll be there, for every scraped knee and for every hospital trip. For better or for worse, Stitch. Nobody will get left behind, no matter how old you or your family gets. Just take what comes, and if you ARE gonna live longer than them, try to always be there for them, and for THEIR children, and that way you'll always be with your family. Besides…"

Charlie hopped off the swing and walked over, tapping Stitch on the chest…on the heart.

"Your _ohana_ never leaves this place, no matter what happens. See?"

Stitch nodded. "Charlie…taka."

"Now come on! Let's see how high you swing, Stitch!"

"Oketaka, but me gotta meet boojibu in two hours."

"Well we've got nothing but time, don't we?"

Stitch smiled. Charlie hopped back on his swing, and they began.

As the wind whipped against his face, Stitch happily laughed.

He didn't know if he would live longer than his family.

But he didn't care.

He'd be there for them, no matter what happened…

And right now, he'd just enjoy his time in Paradise.

After all, he did have nothing but time.

And his family really wasn't going anywhere.

(Camera closes in on both of the swingers, and then it freezes, as both Stitch and Charlie jump off at the same time, yelling happily.)

**The Tale of 621: Don't Look Back in Anger**

621 broke the tree with a single punch, snarling. The dirty bird that had DARED to let loose a dump on his special picnic basket flew off of the branch.

Unfortunately for it, it wasn't that fast. A moment later a good rock hit it in the stomach.

It fell to the earth, plummeting. 621 leisurely opened his mouth and swallowed the falling bird in a single gulp. Still alive, it started squawking and trying to beat its wings, but it was trapped. 621 chewed vigorously, silencing the bird's cries and finally swallowing, beak, feathers, the lot.

"Not bad. So that's what it's like to eat crow." "And you say that I am disgusting." 561 said. He was picking his teeth with a claw. "Serves it right. I'm going out. Don't expect me back until late." "Sure, sure. Of course. Pray tell, where are going?"

"Pray harder, I'm not telling." And with that, 621 walked off into the woods, away from the ship. 561 rolled his eyes and headed back into the ship.

621 found his way into town and walked towards the nearest bar. He opened the door.

Several rough-looking thugs were playing pool. One of them looked at him, sneering. "And whatta we got here, boyos? Some kinda mutant lemur?" "Skin it. It'll make a nice little rug for ya bathroom, mate." "Uh…it looks kinda dangerous…"

621 rolled his eyes. Then he put his picnic basket down and looked over the pool table at the bartender, the only other man in the place. "I'll give you ten seconds to leave." He said in a calm voice. The bartender could tell that the thing was big trouble, so he grabbed the cash register and ran out the back door.

The thugs looked at 621, snickering. "Think we could git arrested fer cruelty ta animals?" "Only if they catch us, so we don't leave no evidence, duh!" "Guys, uh, maybe we should go…"

621 cracked his knuckles. "_Man_, I haven't done this in a while. Should be fun. By the way…I'm Experiment 621. I just thought you deserved to know what your executioner's called, that's all. You don't mind…"

His extra arms popped out. The thugs stopped, suddenly feeling very afraid.

"Do you?" 621 whispered, advancing slowly.

A few extremely graphic moments later all of the punks, save for the last one, were feeling nothing and never would again. The survivor (who wasn't even out of high school) looked at 621, utterly afraid as the experiment grabbed his neck. "Are you afraid of me now?" 621 asked calmly.

"Yes." The punk said in a squeaky voice. "Good." 621 said, dropping him. "Now go home, you stupid kid. Your mommy's probably waitin' for you." The kid ran out of the bar, screaming. 621 removed the wallets from the dead bodies and put all the money in one of them onto the top of the bartender's counter. The bartender peeked back inside, eyes wide.

"Sorry about the mess." 621 said, walking out of the bar and trying not to step in the blood of the two dead punks.

After licking his fingers clean of blood, he walked back down the sidewalk, and kept walking for about half an hour, finally reaching the flower shop. He opened the door and held out a fifty-dollar bill. "What kinda rose can I get for this?" He asked.

The florist could tell it was a special occasion, and gave him the best one she had, a huge pink rose in a white wrap. "Would you like a card? Is it for your girlfriend?" "Well, uh…" "We've got two cards. Either "Aloha Baby" with Elvis Presley on the front, or "Pow, Super-Girlfriend!"?" "Uh…neither. I'd just like the flowers." He paid the lady and bid her good day, walking outside with a cheery "Thanks!".

621 then made his way deeper into town, heading for a nearby "New Age" shop. As he opened the door the bell jingled.

"Yo, can I help you man?" There was a man with long, shoulder length hair, a purple t-shirt and dark green shorts at the service counter. He hadn't shaved in a while either…or showered.

"I'd like some incense sticks." 621 asked. The man nodded, pulling out a display stand that had several dozen glass jars on it, all filled with different kinds of incense sticks.

"Like, uh…what kind? Is it uh…Health? Good Luck? Power? Wisdom?"

"Is there one for remembrance?"

"Remembrance? I dunno…I have "Memory". Is that good enough, man?"

"It will be. How much for two?"

"Two bucks dude."

"You sound familiar…"

"Maybe you've heard about me on an APB man?"

"I think I've heard you on the radio."

"Oh yeah, I'm Dude. Nice to meet you."

"Wow, I'm a big fan of the show. You're very good."

"Why thank you my good sir. A pleasure doing business with you."

After getting two of the sticks, 621 put them in his picnic basket and walked a few blocks down, going into the grocery and buying a rainbow swirl lollipop that was almost as big as his head. He put that in the basket as well, then walked towards the park, crossing over the road.

He had just crossed when he noticed that someone was running towards him, purse in hand…

And it was a guy.

"Gimme back my purse, creep!" A lady shouted somewhere. But she was too far off. He ran past 621 and into the park, hiding in a tree.

621 rubbed his chin. He had an idea…

The thief opened up the purse inside the dense thickness of the park tree. "Wow, lookit all that! Quite a haul."

"You should give it back to her."

"Huh? Who said that?"

"You should give it back to her."

"What the? I'm hearing voices in my head?"

"This is your conscience, Willy. Your momma would be VERY ashamed of you if you knew what you were doing. Honestly. She spent all that money she was saving for her art classes just to pay your bail money, and now you're stealing AGAIN? It's like spitting in her meal!"

"My conscience? You're like that Jiminy Cricket guy?"

"Basically, Willy. Now think about your momma. Do you think she raised you to be a thief?"

"No."

"Go bring that purse back, Willy. Do you want to end up in jail again? Bubba did say that if he saw you again he was gonna make you-"

"Okay, I'll do it! Don't remind me of that! I'll go give the purse back!"

Willy looked into the purse and found the address of the lady to whom it belonged. He hopped down from the tree and walked off, heading for her house so that he could return it. 621, who had been hiding in a nearby bush smiled. "Now that be my good deed for the day." He thought.

He walked over to a nearby hill, and there under another tree, a big oak, was a blond-haired kid who was playing jacks. The kid took one look at him and nodded. "Okay, I'll leave." 621 raised an eyebrow. "How did you…oh, the basket." "I can smell the incense a little bit too. Memory, right?" "Yes, how did you…oh never mind."

The kid left the hill and 621 was alone. He put down the picnic basket and took out some of the things he'd put into it. First a little wooden plate with two holes on the side, then the rose, then the lollipop. Then he took out the sticks and lit them with his claws, making a spark by snapping his fingers. He put the sticks in the holes, then placed the lollipop and then the rose down. He took out his final object…

A little picture of Angel. Of HIM and Angel. Pix, another experiment, used to only take BAD pictures, but occasionally he would take really great ones, if you asked him really nicely or if he liked you. Now he always took good ones since he'd found his one true place…

But the one's he'd made before finding it, the good ones, would always be special. Especially this picture.

He and Angel were sitting together, hugging each other and smiling happily at the cameras. They were both in the cafeteria, with a cake on top of their table that read "Happy 1st Anniversary!".

"Happy Anniversary.." 621 said quietly. "I've missed you." He fingered the lollipop. "I brought you a lollipop. Your favorite kind too. Remember, I made one for you for our first date? We both started licking it until it was all gone and then we had our first kiss." He sighed. "It's been a while, huh? Remember when we snuck out of the lab and put shaving cream on Jumba's face? And then we booby-trapped his door? That was funny. Remember when we held hands and hugged and kissed and when we finally…finally…"

He stopped talking, looking at the picture.

"I miss you." He said.

"She probably misses you too." The blond-haired kid said from behind him. 621 didn't even turn around. "What do YOU know, kid?"

"I know you miss her. Why not just talk to her?"

"She…she doesn't wanna see me. She hates me. She used to be my girl…but not now."

"What happened?"

"I drove her away, alright!?! Go away or I'll eat your brains or something."

"You should just go see her." The kid insisted. 621 sighed.

"Kid, there are some things you can't rush. It's…it's not that simple. I can't just go and see her. It's painful. It's very painful for me to even think about her…"

Silence.

"What, NOW you're being silent?" 621 turned around.

Nobody was there. He blinked. "I'm losing it." He thought, turning back to the picture. He fingered it in his hands a little.

"Hmm…"

Angel sighed and leaned back on the towel she was on as she waited for Stitch. She knew he'd be along soon.

Then she saw a familiar shadow blocking her sun, from right behind her. She turned around, surprised. 621 looked down at her.

"Hello, Angel." He said. "I have something I need to say to you."

Angel blinked slowly, then nodded.

"Oketaka."

"Angel…I really loved you. And I was hurt when you left me. But…I just…when you look back on what we had…think of that, and as for what happened in the lounge the day after 625 was made…don't…don't take it with you, okay? Please, don't take it with you."

Angel nodded slowly. "I won't." She said. 621 nodded, walking away. Soon after Stitch appeared into view, and noticed that Angel was looking far off in the distance. "Were you talking to someone?" He asked in Tantalog.

"An old friend." She said. "A really good old friend."

621, now walking back to the ship through the jungle, sang softly to himself.

_Soooo Sally can wait…she knows it's too late as we're walking on byyyy…_

_Her sooouuull slides awaaaay…_

_But don't look back in anger…don't look back in anger…_

_I heard you say…_

(Camera cuts to the hill, where the little memorial is. It then cuts to the back of the photo, where a note has been scribbled. It reads "Boyfriend and Girlfriend Forever", and then the camera pans out to the whole memorial as the wind gently blows, making the leaves rustle and the incense smoke trail lightly into the sky.)

_At least not today…_

**The Tale of 627: Everything Sucks**

627 groaned. It had been his turn to get the groceries. They didn't have much in Gantu's ship, only some sandwich stuff. So straws had been drawn.

"Okay, short straw gets the groceries, have we all agreed on that?"

"I don't see why we have to do this. Can't 625 just go? It's not like he does much in the-"

Gantu silenced 627 with a glare. "Good, glad to see we all agree. Pick a straw." He held out his huge fist, several straws sticking out. 561, 621, 625 and 627 all drew while Gantu took the last one.

As it turned out, 627 had the short straw. "Aw, blitznack." He said. "All right, I'll go get the dumb food."

So now he was sitting in the back of the bus, extra arms withdrawn and one holding onto some money for groceries. Next to him an annoying punk was playing his music too loudly. It was giving 627 a headache.

"_I can tell you're lying, cuz when you're replying…ya stutter-stutter, st-st-stutter, stutter! I can tell you're lying, cuz when you're replying…ya stutter-stutter, stuh-stuh-stutter, stutter! My dear-my-dear-my-dear you do not know me but I know you very well and lemme tell you that I caught-caught-caught-caught-"_

627 groaned even more loudly and covered his ears, pressing his palms completely into them. "Stupid humans." He thought.

The next song started out okay, but then it turned out to be even worse.

"When you f&+ked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you? Did he hold you 'till the sun did rise and did he look into your eyes and ask you to fellate him…and stick a finger or to in his-"

Luckily for 627 the bus came to a quick stop. 627 bolted off and looked around.

Oops.

Wrong stop.

He was five blocks away from where he needed to be.

627 bounded up and down on the sidewalk, cursing violently in Galactic AND Tantalog, a potent mix. He slipped in a few Basic swears too, which got some nearby people to give him nasty looks. After finishing up with a nasty comment about that stereo kid's OWN grandpa, a dog and a potted plant, he finally decided to simply walk to the grocery store.

It was a loooong walk. The sidewalk was pretty deserted, as were the roads, but for some reason it still seemed to take ages to reach the store. He finally got there though, going straight in.

"All right, let's see, what did we need again?"

He found a cart and went up and down the aisles.

"Let's see, fruit, fruit…what kind of fruit? Apples? Oranges? Grapes? Oh wait. Right. Apples, pears AND grapes. And a watermelon. Okay, veggies. Broccoli? Naw, they didn't want broccoli-they did want broccoli, or was it cauliflower? Which is the green one? And did we want peanut butter, yeah I think they wanted that. Chunky? Creamy? Extra Chunky? What brand, Skippy, Jif or...**ARGH**! Why'd I do that straw thing anyway?!?"

When he was finally finished with the shopping he went to the checkout line, only to find…

Fourteen people were in line. He groaned and slammed his head onto the handle of the cart, hitting it over and over and over again.

Finally his turn came. He handed the pimply-faced teenager who was working at the line his first item, a box of pasta. "Okay, one box of spaghetti. Let's see." The kid scanned it.

Beeeeeep.

"Oh boy. Hmm. Lemme try that again."

Beeeeeep.

"Hmm. Not working. That's odd."

Beeeeeep.

"I'll just enter the bar code. Okay, 0-8-3-0-1-9-9…oops, shouldn't have hit that. Okay, again. 0-8-3-0-1-9-9. Okay, all good. Oh, it looks like the scanner's not working. I'll have to do this for all of your groceries, uh…sir."

627 groaned again and whacked his head on the cart over and over.

Finally the groceries were all scanned. 627 paid the teen and took the groceries outside, walking to the nearby bus stop that he SHOULD have gotten off at. Unfortunately he didn't see the little puddle of Coke that someone had spilled.

A few moments later he was lying on his back in the soda, groceries scattered around him. He groaned again, picking himself and the groceries up. The bus arrived and he got on, but everyone sat FAR away from him since he smelled too much like soda and flies were gathering around him. His six arms, though potent, couldn't keep them away.

And the teen was there. Somehow, in some way, he was there…

And his stereo was blaring.

"I know everything sucks yeah, I know everything sucks wo-ah-oh. I know everything sucks aaand this is gonna be the last time you hear me complain!"

This time 627 didn't feel like shutting the stereo off or plugging his ears. But he still felt miserable. The song was so true it hurt, like rubbing salt in an open wound.

"Want some chocolate?" A young, blue-eyed kid was sitting next to him, to his left. The teen was to his right. 627 looked over at the kid, giving him a look that could kill, which was usually followed by killing.

The kid held out a chocolate bar, partially unwrapped. 627 shoved it away. "No." He snarled. "Get lost, kid." The blond-haired brat shrugged. "Okay, okay. You sure you don't want a piece? It's an N-E-S-T-L-E, the candy bar for you and me!" "…oh, fine. Just one piece." The kid handed him a piece and 627 popped it into his mouth, muttering obscenities in his head at the teen with the stereo, not even getting out a muffled "thanks" to the kid, who just smiled and went back to eating his chocolate bar.

Finally he got off at the right stop and headed into the jungle, back to the ship. He was about twenty feet away from the ship when one of bottoms to a grocery bag fell out. And it began to rain.

This time his groan could be heard from two miles away.

He finally, soaking, entered the ship, putting the bags and the various spilled groceries onto the floor, walking slowly to the kitchen counter and hopping up on a stool. He put his arms down on the counter and then buried his face in them, hiding his look from 625, who was across the counter and making something in the toaster.

627 sighed unhappily.

625 slid a plate with a nice-looking sandwich on it. It was a triple-meat sandwich with extra cheese and some jalapeno peppers.

"I made you your favorite." 625 said tentatively. "How was your day?"

627 picked up the sandwich and fingered it for a while before chowing down.

"Looking up." 627 said.

(Camera freezes as 627 takes his first bite.)

**The Tale of Nani and David: You and Me**

"I remember when I first met you, David." Nani said. They were at the beach, watching the surf pound and the surfers go back and forth, up and down on the waves.

"At the beach. Four years ago, remember?"

"I can't ever forget, Nani. You were wearing a pink t-shirt. I was surfing on my old red surfboard…it broke that day, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." Nani said, laying her head down on his chest. "I walked up to you and asked you if you could teach me some surfing moves. You were just so amazing that day."

"What, I'm not amazing every day?" David asked, pretending to be upset. Nani laughed. "Yeah, and I said "Of course. Will you date me?"

"That got a laugh outta me. I said yes, right?"

"Uh huh. So I helped you get on the board, helped you balance…you hadn't surfed in ages. Then once you got in the groove you were going up and down like you'd been surfing since you were in diapers."

"But then that wave came and I broke the board when some _lolo_ tried to stuff me."

"Ah, _lolos_ will be loco."

"It snapped, I fell…"

"And I paddled out to you, and you were holding up the two pieces and looking really embarrassed. You said…"

"I said, "Uh, I guess I owe you a board". And then YOU said…"

"I said "You look a little pale. You might need mouth to mouth"."

"I can't believe you tried that line on me."

"I can't believe it worked."

"Our first kiss. Usually that happens AFTER the first date, not before."

"I dunno, I think that that surfing lesson was a nice date."

"Is this a date?"

David turned red. "Well, uh…I guess, that is…if you want it to be, Nani, we could…"

Then they noticed that Charlie was just across from them, guitar in hand. He beamed. "Hey, you want I should play something for the nice lady?" Charlie asked. "Or maybe you'd like to give it a try to play something for the nice lady, David?" He said, handing the guitar over to David, who looked a little surprised.

"Me? Play? I'm, uh…not that good…"

"Aw, come on!" Nani said, playfully shoving him. David shrugged.

"All right. I'll play something." Charlie smiled and sat down. David experimentally played a few notes and then jumped right into a song.

**BGM: You and Me, by Lifehouse**

_What day is it? And in what month?  
This clock never seemed so aliiiive…  
I can't keep up and I can't back down,  
I've been losing so much tiiime… _

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do  
Nothing to lose!  
And it's you and me and all other people,  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you!

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right…  
I'm tripping on words…  
You've got my head spinning,  
I don't know where to go from here!

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do  
Nothing to prove!  
And it's you and me and all other people,  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you!

There's something about you now…  
I can't quite figure ooouuuut!  
Everything she does is beautiful…  
Everything she does is right…

Cause it's you and me and all other people with nothing to do…  
Nothing to lose!  
And it's you and me and all other people,  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you  
and me and all other people with nothing to do…  
Nothing to prove!  
And it's you and me and all other people,  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of yooouuu!

What day is it?  
And in what month?  
This clock never seemed so aliiive!

Nani hugged him. "And you said you couldn't play."

"I guess I'm better than I thought."

"You play, you sing, you surf…can you cook dinner?"

"Sure." David said. "You mean it? I'd love to cook you dinner, even though it's only 2:00."

"It's okay, I like early dinners." She said, smiling. "What do wanna make?"

"You ever had chicken pot pie? I make a mean chicken pot pie…"

They get up and start walking away from the beach. Nani leans in, and says something that ends in "breakfast?" and David immediately looks at her, eyes widening and breaking into a nervous yet happy smile.

Camera freezes on them entering the house.

**The Tale of Heartwing and 561: Rivals**

Heartwing was bouncing in the backyard, chasing after a Monarch butterfly, jumping up every time it flapped up. He was having the time of his life.

"Woo! Wee! Woo-hoo! Ha-ha! Wa-weeeee!"

Suddenly there was a slow clapping from behind him. He turned around and saw 561, an amused expression on his draconic face.

"And what have we here? Indulging yourself in the simple pleasures of life? Entertaining to watch, I must say. But enough games."

Heartwing's eyes became slits. "You…you should go. Now."

"And if I say no?"

"…fight?"

561 nodded, a smile, not a nice one, creeping onto his face. "Yes. I wish to fight. How else am I to utterly consume you? I could just take you right now, but…no. I want to break you, poor, foolish cousin. I want to see the total defeat in your eyes right before I get to work on you. I want you broken, desperate for death…and THEN you will become one with me for all eternity."

"Evil."

"I suppose by your standards…and by my own…I am indeed evil. So be it. I am how I was made."

"Cop out."

"Lilo said the same thing. And that strange boy Nick thinks the same." 561 shook his head in mock sorrow. "The naïve boy believes too heavily in the idea that people have a choice no matter what happens. He is wrong. And when he sees there is nothing left of you, he will realize HOW wrong."

"Fight me." Heartwing said, his voice hollow.

"Until you die." 561 replied.

561 leapt at him.

Heartwing thrust his hand out, and fist met face. 561 fell to the ground, and Heartwing was upon HIM, clawing and tearing. But 561 was strong too, he slashed Heartwing across the chest and then the stomach. Heartwing staggered off, bleeding badly. 561 cackled.

"Giving up so soon, cousin?"

"No." Heartwing growled, suddenly twisting his body, tail lashing out, striking 561 in the leg. 561 howled and grabbed at it, blood gushing despite his hands effort's to keep it under control. 561 growled and removed his hand, licking it free of blood. "Nobody does that and gets away with it. Not-to-me."

Heartwing pulled one eye down with his middle finger, and stuck his tongue out, going "PBHHBBBBTT!!!" 561 picked up a stone and flung it. Heartwing ducked, doing in Matrix-style, only to find when he came right back up that 561 was leaping, talons first, striking him in the face. He flew back, hitting a tree and staggering back up…ANGRY.

"MONSTER." He snarled, spitting out blood. His white aura flared, surrounding him. He kicked off the tree, shooting forward with almost impossible speed and barreling into 561, punching him in the face over and over, left-right-left-right-left-right, finally stopping when 561 kneed him in his genitals.

Heartwing rolled on the ground, groaning horribly. 561's had bruises all over his face, was bleeding from the mouth, AND from his nostrils. Heartwing stood up, growling and spitting out some blood from his own mouth, slash marks on his face from where the taloned foot had kicked him.

"Come and get some." 561 growled, rushing at him with aura flaring up. Heartwing turned his own on and rushed forward. The two collided, locking claws, staring each other down. Now both of them were pushing, trying to get the other down. Locked in a deadly embrace. The first to break was done.

Something had to give…

Some_one_ had to give…

Something…

"You know why you are weak?" 561 said, beginning to gain the upper hand. He pressed harder, getting Heartwing on one knee. "You are weak because you need others to lift you up. You cannot survive on your own strength. So you borrow your strength from others, take it from such foolish, sentimental ideas like love and friendship and family. You cannot win unless someone else is there, giving you love…that's why you are weak. I need only myself. Love ONLY myself. Care only about my own goals, not someone else's. And that is why I am stronger. I need nobody to make me strong like YOU do, weakling!"

Heartwing thought about his cousin's point…

For all of three seconds.

Then he remembered meeting Nick for the first time.

He remembered seeing Lilo and his cousin Stitch.

He remembered being captured, and then being let go because of Nick's compassion.

He remembered hanging out with his _ohana_, just having fun.

He remembered belly rubs, horse kisses, and hugs.

He remembered what it meant to be in a family.

And finally, He remembered what it had felt like, being all alone in a lab with a scary four-eyed evil scientist looking at him…having nobody care about him…

"**Wrong**." Heartwing said simply, speaking clearly, the word suddenly resounding through the air.

Suddenly he slammed his head right into 561's face, and his cousin fell back…

It was enough. Heartwing jumped on him, and…

THWOCK!

KHAK!

CRACKA!

Once! Twice! Thrice!

561's head fell back, bloodied and bruised all over. He had a black eye, his cheekbone was broken, his jaw broken as well. He looked up to see Heartwing had his claws raised high, poised to end it.

"Go ahead…finish me."

Heartwing swung them down…

And the claws embedded in the dirt less than two centimeters away from 561's head. Heartwing pulled them free and got off of his cousin, turning and walking away.

"You should have killed me. One day you'll… regret it." 561 said, barely able to say much at all, staggering up to leave.

Heartwing turned around, and was actually smiling, beaming broadly.

"Never." Was all he said, and then he went back to chasing the butterfly.

**The Tale of 625: Gangsta's Paradise**

"We all ready?"

"Not quite. We need to light the candles."

"Why do we need the candles again?"

"Dramatic effect."

"You and your dramatic effects, 627! What's the point?"

"Someday you'll all get it."

"Sure, and someday I'll end up sacrificing myself for Stitch..."

"And Gantu will be an admiral of the Galactic Fleet."

"Yeah, that'll be the day."

561, 621, 625 and 627 were all taking part in an elaborate ritual. It was 12:00 at night, okay, ALMOST midnight. They were all in the bathroom and the door was closed. Standing on a stool was 621, who was about to start the ritual up. AFTER 627 lit the 18 candles that were situated left, right and behind the sink. Above the sink, on the wall, was a huge mirror. They were going to summon a spirit.

"627, light the candles."

627 grinned and plugged up one nostril with his finger. Then he snot-blew flames from his nose, all of them lighting candles up. At last he finshed, and clapped his hands. "Ta-da! All done!" "That was disgusting." 561 said. "Let's never do this again." 621 said. "If only for that reason alone."

621 took a deep breath. "Everyone ready?" "Yep." "Uh-huh." "I am ready."

621 nodded. "Let's do this thing."

It was very dark and cloudy out. The moon had been clouded over, and no stars could be seen. A harsh wind blew, and the ship was full of scary noises. Clearly some spooky shitake was about to go down.

"Biggie Smalls." 621 said.

Nothing.

"Say it two more times." 627 said.

"I know, I know! B-Biggie Smalls…"

The wind howled. Sweat poured down, a small trickle, from 621's head.

"Bi-Biggie Sm-Sm…AW, I can't do it!"

He hopped down. "627, you try!"

627 sneered and hopped up on the stool. "Watch how a REAL man gets it done." He says.

625 looks at 621. "This should be good."

"You don't think he'll do it."

"Uh, no."

"And you think I should stop reading your mind."

"Yeah. Quit it, 621. It gets old."

"Hey 627, nervous?"

627 blinks, then chuckles, but it's got little life in it.

"Course not! Now, uh…Biggie Smalls."

561 lazily taps the wall with a claw. "We're waiting, oh brave one."

627 gulps. He's sweating a little bit now. "Bi-Bi-Biggie Smu-Smalls…"

621 snickers. "He's not gonna do it." "No way is he gonna do it." 625 says.

"Bi-Bi-Bawww, I can't do it! Crud!" He hops down and starts wringing his hands.

625 smiles. "I knew you couldn't. My turn!" He hopped onto the stool and faces the mirror. "I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls!"

WOOSH!

A large, hefty black man with a black jacket, red shirt and black pants is now in their bathroom, with a bulge in his pocket. "Man, what the f&ck? It ain't even Halloween yet, what the mother+&ck is goin' on in-what the h#ll? Dogs? Mutants too! What's going on here?"

"Uh, we're not dogs. And uh…we're uh…we're just playing around." 625 says lamely. "You summoned my spirit, bhes. How come?" "Uh…to see if it worked." "Now I'm gonna see how much lead I can put into a mutant dog! I'm gonna bust a cap in all you're a$$e$!" He pulls out a pistol. The experiments all scream and run out the door, shutting it behind them. Bullets fly through the door.

"AAAAAA! BIGGIE SMALLS WANTS TO BUST A CAP IN MY A$$!!!" 621 said, running down the hall, hands above his head. 627 followed after, wailing. 561 rolled his eyes. "Cowards."

Thudding noises from down the hall mark Gantu's entrance. He's wearing red train pajamas and a nightcap. He rubs his eyes and holds his flashlight up to shine on 625. "What's going on?" "Uh, Biggie Smalls is in our bathroom." "...what?" "And he wants to put a cap in our collective a$$e$." "Biggie _Who_?" "You know, Biggie Smalls! The Notorious B.I.G!"

Blank stare.

"Uh, ever heard of "Sky's the Limit?"

"…noooo…"

"How about "Dead Wrong"?"

"Oh! "Dead Wrong"? "I just beat you to death with weapons that tear through the flesh, and I never eat you unless the fn' meat looks fresh!". THAT Biggie Smalls?"

"THAT Biggie Smalls."

"What's he doing in our bathroom?"

"We summoned him."

"The mirror trick actually works?"

BANG! A bullet whizzed through the door. "LEMME OUTTA HERE YOU HONKY BA$&ARDS!"

"Biggie speaketh for himself." 561 said. "Now how are we going to be RID of him?"

"I got an idea!" 625 ran for Gantu's room. He jumped up on Gantu's dresser and pulled the mirror off of the wall, running back to the hallway. "Biggie is west side, right?" "Uh, I guess…" "Well, west and east don't mix, right?" "I suppose…" "Here goes nothing!"

625 looked into the mirror and said "Tupac Shakur, Tupac Shakur, Tupac Shakur!" quickly.

WOOSH!

An African American with a white undershirt, bandanna, a brown belt and blue jeans was standing there, and he had a gun in his pocket. "What the? What's goin' on here?"

625 spoke up. "Uh, Mr. Shakur?"

"What the? You some kinda mutant dog?"

"No, I'm an alien and a fan of yours. Uh, Biggie Smalls, the Notorious B.I.G…he's uh…in our bathroom and he wants to bust a cap in our-"

"Lemme guess, you want me to take care of him, am I right? Am I right?"

Biggie Smalls suddenly shouted out "Hey, is that Tupac I hear?"

"You bet yo fat a$$ it's me, Biggie boy!"

"Oh, you better not be hatin', know what I'm sayin'?"

"Yeah, well y'all know what we gotta do now, don't ya? This sh#t has been long due to hit the fan!"

"Bring it, east side sh&t!"

"It's _on,_ you west side a$$!"

Tupac kicked down the door and jumped on Biggie. The two of them began punching and hitting each other, rolling around on the floor. They banged into the sink and the candles fell down. Then Biggie Smalls shoved Tupac off. He went for his gun, so did Tupac…

BANG-BANG!

Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur looked down at the bullet hole that was in each of their chests.

"Aw fu-" They managed to get out before vanishing in a puff of smoke. 561 looked around the bathroom and sniffed the air. "Their prescense has vanished utterly. They are back where they belong. 625, may I offer a suggestion?" "And I as well?" Gantu said, stepping forward. 625 gulped. "Uh…what?"

"Don't ever do that trick again." They both said angrily. With that they stormed off, back to bed. "Oh, and now you have to clean up their mess! I don't want to see a single bullet hole in the wall when I wake up!" Gantu shouted back.

625 looked at the mess that the trick had produced and groaned. "Aw, blitznack. Oh well, better start with the bathroom. Hey, where do we keep the dustpan?" 625 shouted. "Under the sink!" Gantu shouted back.

Soon 625 was sweeping away, cleaning up the bathroom, singing.

"We've been spending most our lives living in a Gansgsta's paradise…"

Camera zooms out on him cleaning, and then all goes dark. We hear voices.

"So whaddya think? Wanna cut a record, brother?"

"Sure, sure. But you wanna do it there or the other there?"

"You mean North or South side?"

"Yeah, which side?"

"I actually know some people who know some people who cut records for some people in Los Angeles. Whaddya say to that, man?"

"I say…oh, I'm goin-goin', to, to Cali-Cali! Oh, I'm goin-goin', back to Cali-Cali!"

**The Tale of Angel: Here With Me**

Angel tapped on a nearby ice-cream stand customer's shoulder with one of her long tendril-like antennas. He turned around and didn't drop his ice cream, looking down. "Uh…yes? Can I help you?' He asked, fat jiggling a little as he spoke. Specifically, the fat on his chest.

Ignoring the fat on the tourist as best she could and trying hard not to giggle at the jiggle (hey, that rhymes!), she asked "Uh, time?" The tourist looked at his watch. "2:50 PM." He said. "Taka." She said, bowing. The tourist bowed too…and the ice cream fell off of his cone. Angel ran off as the man started bawling and the ice cream stand owner promised to make the guy another Double-Mint cone.

Angel ran back to Stitch. "3:00, let's go see the movie." She said, not speaking in English. "Okay, you got it." Stitch said right back. They headed over to the movie theater for the showing of "Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest." It was its first day in the Kokaua Town Royal Cinema and both Stitch and Angel had pre-ordered their tickets.

July 7th. They'd marked the date down on their calendar. Just the two of them together, watching the movie.

They walked inside and up to the snack stand, saying hi to one of Stitch's cousins, Kernel, whose one true place was popping popcorn. He was only too happy to hook his cousins up with free snacks, as was the manager.

"Business has never been better! Everyone LOVES the popcorn! Go ahead Mr. Stitch. Any size-Jumbo, of course. And for the lovely lady?"

They sat down, Angel with popcorn and Stitch with drinks and candy (all "Jumbo" sizes) and almost finished them off before the previews had stopped. Finally the beginning came.

Rain battered down on Elizabeth…

Now Will was inside of prison…

Now Bootstrap Bill was talking to Jack…

Angel stuffed popcorn into her mouth. The two of them had seen the first movie and had loved every moment of it. As long as it was at least halfway as good as the first one, they'd be happy…

Of course, Angel was just happy doing anything with Stitch.

Time went on. The big fight scene came. Trapped in a wheel that rolled and rolled the protagonists fought. Angel was transfixed. Stitch's eyes were bugging out.

Then finally they were reaching the ending. The Kraken reared it's…well, it's MOUTH…

Stitch gulped.

"Poor Jack. He was major bootifa." He said to Angel, who nodded. "Ih."

Angel suddenly realized she was holding Stitch's hands and she felt VERY warm. Stitch realized that he and Angel were holding hands and felt kinda dizzy.

Both welcomed the feeling.

The credits rolled. They walked out, still holding hands, heading for the exit. Angel turned and said in Tantalog "I have to use the bathroom."

"Oh. Okay, I'll wait for you, Angel. After this, let's use that Dance Dance Revolution Machine they've got here. Bet I can beat you at "Butterfly", or at least "Tsugaru"." "You wish, Stitch!"

Angel, laughing happily, ran quickly into the bathroom and got to a stall before a woman with unmistakably dyed-brown hair could get it. "HEY! That was MY stall!" Angel responded with what was unmistakably a raspberry. The woman "harrumphed" and walked off.

Unfortunately Angel was stuck in the stall for longer than she had planned. After about twenty horrible minutes, possibly the longest of her life, Angel finished and walked out of the stall, going to the sink to wash her hands.

Something struck her as odd. Only one other person was in the bathroom besides her. Usually the bathrooms were jam-packed right after a movie.

Then the bathroom stall that was HOLDING said other person swung open and the person inside it walked behind Angel. She didn't notice, too busy washing her hands.

Then when she looked into the mirror she blinked, as if REALLY seeing the person behind her.

Her eyes widened.

There, looking VERY smug, was Hamsterviel. He had on a red wig and a pink dress and white shoes, but it was definitely him.

And he had a gun. A deadly-looking plasma gun.

"Say goodnight, my dear." He said calmly. He shot her.

She fell into unconsciousness, falling backwards into HIS arms. "Well what do you know?" He crowed. "You've swooned before me!" And with that, she completely lost her grip on reality.

When she awoke, she was in a containment capsule. Worse still, it was in GANTU'S ship. Hamsterviel was in front of her, a cruel, evil, foul look on his face, mocking her.

"You thought you were safe? In a theater of all places…foolish fools, all of you! That's right…all of you. Take a look, if you can…to your left."

Angel looked left and could barely, just barely, see something that made her frightened. Other containment capsules.

"17 in all." Hamsterviel said, speaking as if he was talking about the weather. "Fudgy, Hunkahunka, Tickle Tummy, Amnesio, Stamen, Felix, Hammerface, Fibber, Nosox, Poxy, Slimy, Zap, Plasmoid, Heat, Thresher, Tank…and YOU. I will capture more of course…but I'm tired. And 17 in one day is quite a nice haul…don't you think?" He rattled their names off _very_ quickly.

"What are you planning to do to us? How did you get past Stitch with me?" Angel asked in Galactic. Hamsterviel sneered. "Now, now. Think about that. I think the questions you should be asking is…will I TELL you what I'm planning to do to you and the others, and what has HAPPENED to Stitch? Well I will be MOST happy to tell you…"

Hamsterviel cleared his throat. "Ah-hem. You see, Stitch may care for you deeply, but…heh…a nice "lady" "accidentally" dropped her entire package of Reese's Pieces…and a certain blue experiment rushed over to eat them, thinking he could get them in time to check back on his "date." But as it turns out, that nice "lady" wasn't a lady. And nor was the dropping of tasty chocolate-shell peanut butter candies an accident, nya-ha-ha-ha-haaa! I walked into the bathroom. I held my gun up, politely, QUIETLY, asked the ladies to get out. You uh…were preoccupied. You shouldn't have eaten all of those malted chocolate balls, or drunken so much of that soda, it just goes right through-"

**SFX: Wa-Wa-Waaa!**

"Uh, uh…uh anyway, I waited in a stall and uh, you know the rest. And now, for what I plan to do with you…"

Hamsterviel turned around, and Angel could only see his back and his cape. He looked up at the ceiling of the ship. "I have recently found him…the PERFECT experiment. I wasn't sure you know, that it really existed. But it does. I don't care if the girl finds those OTHER two experiments, 120 and 319. I have a secret weapon now."

"So what does that have to do with us?"

Hamsterviel didn't turn around. He kept looking at the ceiling.

"Nobody ever believed in me." He said softly. "Nobody…and nobody ever trusted me. Do you have any idea what it's like to be alone? To not have a single, however stupid, soul that believed in your abilities? To not have anyone who thought you could be counted on? A true friend would do that…but nobody ever did. They ALL doubted me, except for Jumba and…well…"

Hamsterviel looked down at the ground. "Nobody but Jumba ever listened to me whenever I had something to say. They only…they…it doesn't matter now. Nobody but Jumba ever cared…except…except for…you."

Angel blinked. "Huh?"

Hamsterviel whipped around, looking very pitiful. "You've been the only one who ever listened to me ever since I split with Jumba. Who made me feel important, and who didn't even give me one shred of proof that you doubted me. That's why I needed you here. The other experiments are merely test subjects…to test my weapon's power…but I wanted to see YOU, Angel. To talk with you."

Angel was silent for a few moments. Then she spoke. "Doctor Hamsterviel…I was tricking you, trying to get you to believe I cared about you. I was…I was just trying to get on your good side, so I could later escape. I'm sorry if it seems like I led you on, I didn't mean to."

Hamsterviel was quiet for what seemed to be a long time.

Then he sighed.

"Well…then…I'm afraid…that you will be the first test subject for my new weapon. You should have lied again, dear Angel. You would have lived. Goodbye." He turned to walk out the door.

"Jacques, don't do this! PLEASE!"

Hamsterviel didn't even turn around or so much as twitch when she called out. "Aw, you seem to think I CARE about what happens to you. Sorry…but nobody is coming to your rescue, no one at all."

He left her alone in the capsule, walking out the door as the other experiments shouted, swore and banged on theirs. Angel sank onto her knees and buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

From a distance, a single butterfly, a monarch, flapped its wings. Then it took to the air, going out of an open window and heading for freedom…

Which Angel might never have…

Ever again.


	36. Snafu

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

SNAFU

A few minutes later he came in.

625.

"Hey, Tickle Tummy, you don't scare me. I'm not ticklish." Tickle-Tummy cast him a look as if to say "Sure you aren't."

625 walked passed another capsule. "Hunkahunka! Love ya! Heh-heh."

He walked past Amnesio's capsule, stopping. "Oh, what's your name? I forgot! Ha-ha-ha!"

Then 625 looked up, frowning and waving a disciplinary finger at a certain brown, dripping and glooping experiment. "Aw, Fudgy! You soiled your capsule AGAIN!" Fudgy shrugged, laughing nervously.

He walked over to Angel.

"Hey babe." He said smoothly. He had brought flowers, wrapped in white paper, believe it or not.

Angel gasped. "625!" She said in Tantalog. "You're here! You're…you're still working for _him_!" She hissed and bared her sharp teeth, then turned away from him in a huff.

"Now, now, what's with the attitude? I just work here…"

Angel "harrumphed." 625 sighed.

"Look, I know you're angry. But look, I really just came to talk, cheer you up. I got flowers!"

"Aka boocha!" She barked.

"Come on, Angel. Can't we talk just a litt-"

"_Aka boocha!_" Angel said, snarling as she whipped her head around.

"I uh…can't do that."

"Hmmph." She said, turning back to face the wall.

"Look, I got an idea." 625 said, whispering. "Your song turns good experiments bad and bad experiments good, right? And it works on people too, am I right?"

Angel nodded her head, turning around. What was he getting at?

"Well, here's the plan: you sing your song, turn me good…I let you out? How's that?"

Angel blinked, then nodded. "Oketaka!" She said. She began to sing softly, so only he could hear…

_Ahcoota choonutro... Degatah no mootah... Naga tonala... Eetruma tadrutah..._

625 nodded when she was finished. "Aw, that's really sweet." He said, smiling. "Too bad I'm immune to your little song, huh?" He parted some flowers in the white paper, revealing a tape recorder. Gantu emerged from the shadows to Angel's left, triumphant look upon his face.

"Finally!" He said, taking the tape recorder. "I shall play this for the whole town to hear, on that radio station that everyone always listens to, and with another COPY, 625 will go through the streets on my specially-ordered truck, playing it full blast! When the good experiments left on the island hear it…chaos will ensue, and I will be free to command them!"

"Naga!" Angel screamed, suddenly realizing what a horrible mistake she'd made. She turned to 625, the tortured look of the betrayed on her face. "Sorry hon." He said, still smiling. "Old blubber butt made me an offer I couldn't resist…free sandwiches for life. Just looking out for number one, that's all."

"You selfish-!!!" She slammed her fists on the capsule. "Scream all you want, trog. Nobody's coming for you." Gantu said, a narcissistic smile on his face. "This…is the perfect plan."

"This is the perfect plan!" 627 said, as 621 beamed. 627's hands traced over every pencil marke 621 had made on the huge sheet of paper. "It's…its AMAZING! I…I can't believe it! Wow!"

"It's simply brilliant. 628 will be released here, in the middle of town. Then Lilo will go with my brother and Nick to stop his rampage. But they'll be heading right into a trap. They have no idea you'll also be waiting for them. Not to mention that a moment after THEY arrive, 561 brings in the closed-circuit television…"

"Just in time for them to see YOU blow the house up. I can't believe you hacked into the house's security system!" "Cobra Bubble's so-called "superior house protection system" wasn't so superior. I even hacked into Jumba's email account, his ex sends _the_ absolute _nastiest_ letters! So I go to the house in half an hour. I place the hidden bombs all over the house, they explode. House collapses..."

"And those stupid brats and 626 get to see it on the television! That's brilliant!" "Best of all, if the bombs fail, I've got a backup plan. Once 561 wheels in the television, he'll fly back to the ship, then take control of it while Gantu and 625 are out doing THEIR plan. He'll use the ship to blow the house to pieces just in case the bombs don't do the trick. Then you and 628 will wipe THEM out, and then, to make sure he can't cause trouble, we use THIS…"

621 pointed to the big ray gun that was drawn on the plan. "The Dehydration Ray that I developed yesterday. I've been working on it in secret for a few days and it's finally done. It took a while to find the parts though."

"Well now…we've got everything we need to send them sky high! HA-HA-HA!!!" 621 slapped 627. "Stop laughing. Now you have to make sure that 628 doesn't kill YOU. If need be, bail out. Got it?" "I got it, I got it."

"I got it!" Nick shouted. He jumped forward, sliding on his stomach. He managed to catch the mug of coffee before it hit the ground. Unfortunately it splashed all over his hands. "Ewwwww!" Nick said. It would have burned him nastily if he hadn't been tough, but having superpowers had good advantages. "Here's what is…uh…left of your coffee, Jumba."

"Keep it. Hating coffee." "Me too. Never plan on drinking it either." He walked over to the sink. Nani groaned. "Don't waste that coffee, Nick!" "Okay, then YOU take it." He gave it to her. "I gotta shower anyway…and NOBODY BETTER USE THE WATER." Nick walked out of the kitchen and upstairs. Lilo and Stitch giggled. "Guys, don't use the water." Nani said. "We won't." "Ih." "I will refrain from mischief-makings." Jumba said. "Ditto." Pleakley agreed.

Lilo looked at Stitch. "Remember Stitch, we gotta work some more on our plan to save Angel and the cousins." "Yeah. Save boojibu and cousins…but…" He looked at the ground, an expression of doubt creeping onto his face. "What…what if we naga can-" "Don't say that!" Lilo said, taking Stitch's hand. He looked into Lilo's eyes as she stared deeply into his. "Stitch, you love Angel, don't you?"

"Ih." Stitch said softly.

"You can save her. WE can save her. She's family. _Ohana_. We love her…and love conquers all, right Nani?"

"Right."

"Right!" Pleakley said.

"Define conquer." Jumba almost said, but thought better of it. He had something else to say anyway.

"Almost forgetting, while boy is in shower, allow me to show you the newest experiment I located last night, heh-heh." "So that was YOU who woke me up!" Nani said. "I thought I heard uh, what do you call them? Those animals with strange mask-like markings over eyes?" "Racoons." "Racoons. Thought was hearing raccoons getting into garbage. Walked outside and found…THIS!"

He pulled something out of his bathrobe and held up a purple capsule.

"Is new experiment! Number 120…SNAFU!"

"Snafu?" Nani said, blinking in confusion.

"Situation-Normal-All-Fouled-Up." Lilo said, reciting from memory a "Wikipedia" entry she'd read a long time ago. "Military jargon."

"Indeed." Jumba said. "Is designed to foil any kind of plan by any possible means. Can only catch him by accident. Since he is such big threat, will not activate him and shall simply re-work on him to make him harmless. Am off to lab." Jumba stood up and walked towards the exit…

He didn't notice the coffee that had been spilled slightly.

He slipped. The capsule flew into the air…

Landing in the coffee. Which…was…wet.

"Oh no." Pleakley said, diving underneath the table.

A flash of light, a growing orb of energy…

BAM! There he was. Snafu.

He looked…unusual, to say the least. He was teal green in color, and he had fairly small eyes with black pupils. His eyebrows were very thin, and his hands and feet were small. His entire body was small, save for…the head. It was about three times as big as Snafu's chest, and had six tentacles sticking out of it. Snafu had something else that was big, a big grin.

"Uh oh." Jumba said. Snafu giggled and suddenly a tentacle shot out, grabbing onto the window lock, wrenching it open. A moment later he shot out of the opened window, out to freedom. "Is very bad, that." "No kidding!" Pleakley said. "How are we going to catch him?" "We should worry about him later, we've got to get to work on saving Angel and the others." Lilo said. "But isn't Snafu designed to foil plans?" Nani asked. "He can't foil our plans if he can't see them!" Lilo said.

Jumba tried to speak up, but was interrupted by a loud scream from upstairs. "YEEAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!"

"Nick!" "The shower!" "That little monster!" "Cousin naughty!" "Coming, coming!"

Nick ran out of the bathroom, bathrobe wrapped hastily around him, looking down at everyone at the bottom of the stairs. "All right, who turned the water on? Who used the water?!? Speak now, or forever rest in pieces!"

"It wasn't us!" Lilo protested. "It was one of Stitch's cousins, Snafu!" Nick blinked. Snafu? "Wait…the thing with the big head and tentacles?" "Yes." "The one who can foil plans?" "Yes." "I get it, I get it…this is really bad, huh? I was just planning on taking a nice long shower and he…wait…how did he…"

"Experiment 120 has incredible mental capabilities, can sense plans through use of special "radar" I installed inside of him. He can foil plans that are being made up to 50 miles away, ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!" Jumba laughed. He stopped when he realized that everyone was looking at him funny.

"Uh…sorry."

"We've gotta catch him."

"Can only do THAT by accident."

"Than we'll have to just go and rescue Angel. We'll get all the experiments we can together and just sneak onto Gantu's ship, hoping for the best." "Well, that's not much of a plan…" "Good. The less of a plan it is, the harder it will probably be for Snafu to foul it up. Let's go, Nick…uh, after you get some clothes on."

Nick blushed and walked back to his room.

Meanwhile…

621 and 627 looked around town. "Okay, we have to find a good place to set 628 down. Somewhere where there's lots of people, where he can cause a lot of chaos." "Yeah, and I brought a video camera to get this all on tape! I can't wait to put this stuff up on "Youtube"!" "You have a Youtube account?" "Who doesn't?" "Fair enough. I'm an editor of Wikipedia."

Snafu, who was hiding in the bushes, giggled. So they had a plan? Well he'd have to do something about THAT…

621 looked around for a taxi. "We should probably head for the beach. That would be a great place. Taxi! Taxi!"

One pulled up. 627 raced around to the driver's seat. "Get out or die." He snarled. The taxi driver yelped and ran out of the car, screaming. 627 laughed. "Man, I love doing that! Come on, get in. I'll even give you a discount since you're family, heh-heh."

621 rolled his eyes and got into the car. Snafu grinned. Now was the time to strike…

The taxi rolled away slowly, because 627 didn't know how to drive a stick-shift too well. Eventually though the taxi began to pick up speed, and 627 drove it towards the beach. "Okay, we should be there in, uh, I dunno…ten minutes?"

"Ten minutes?" Nick said. "We've only got ten minutes to get Angel and the others out of there?" "We can do it!" "Ih! Get boojibu! AND cousins! Love conquers all!" "Okay, so we've got to be in and out of the ship in ten minutes. We're sure it's that amount of time?" "Is exactly how long big fish man and 625 will be out of ship. Heartwing will be luring them out of ship, and then you can go in and save 626's cousins. And since 561, 621 and 627 have been spotted far away from ship, we do not have to worry about them. Or at least you two do not. Nick will go and check THEM out."

"Okay, sounds like a-" Nick didn't finish the sentence, remembering that Snafu could "sense" plans. "Sounds like a good idea, but let's just wing it and see what happens! I'll be going now." Nick nodded and left the living room, heading out the door, down the front steps and out the driveway into town.

Lilo looked at Stitch. "We'd better get our stealth stuff on." "Ih." They ran upstairs to go put on their special "spy" clothes, which consisted of a pair of black sweaters, shoes and two black knit caps.

Plus black face paint. Wouldn't be really cool without the face paint.

What Jumba didn't know…and what the Pelekai household didn't know either, was that Gantu and 625 were outside in town, putting the plan into action. Gantu had snuck into Dougie Doug's radio station (which happened to be in an RV located just behind Dude's shop) and 625 had, uh, "commandeered" an ice cream truck and had hooked up the tape to the truck's music system. All he had to do was press play/rewind and as the truck drove the tape would play backwards and spark experimental riots!

625 happened to be wearing a white cap, an apron and a bow tie, trying to at least SORT of look the part of your friendly neighborhood ice cream man. "This should be fun." He thought. He did feel kinda bad about betraying Angel, but looking out for number one was what mattered in this harsh, dog-eat-dog world. Or in this case, experiment-kill-experiment world.

Meanwhile, Dougie was tied up in the closet of his RV.

"I KNOW you gonna get one heck of a beat-down if you don't get yo' sorry butt outta my RV right now, you freaky Samoan!"

"Oh, shut up Earthworm." Gantu snarled. He walked over to a tape machine that played music for the radio station. It was plugged into the main computer console that Dougie used to control everything related to the show. "This is definitely going to be interesting…"

He put the tape in and pressed play and rewind at the same time, playing the tape backwards…

Lilo and Stitch carefully stuck their heads around a tree, and saw Gantu's ship about fifty feet away, across the river. "Okay, let's go." Lilo said. "Ih." They ran towards the ship, jumping on the rocks in the river and crossing it over to the ship, then going up to the main entrance.

A moment later two large ray guns popped out of the ship and leveled at Stitch. "Aw no!" Lilo shouted. "Snafu ruined our plans! Wow, he works fast." "Naga finished yet!" Stitch snarled, grabbing Lilo and jumping up. The ray guns fired…

621 and 627 looked around the beach. "Yes, this is the PERFECT spot to release 628." There were dozens upon dozens of tourists and islanders all having fun. 621 saw a little child building a sandcastle and felt a pang of remorse. He doubted anyone would survive 628's rampage. But this had to be done. He looked over at 627. "Okay, the capsule."

627 blinked. "I left it in the car. Didn't YOU take it?" 621 groaned. "Well, we'll just…"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!" The yellow taxi sped away, with a familiar-looking teal green experiment driving it with his head-tentacles. "Snafu!" "Who?" "A plan-foiling experiment! He's got 628 in there! Wow, he works _fast_!" 627 suddenly realized that they'd been essentially punked. He began to drool, and was feeling VERY hot. 621 blinked slowly.

Silence.

Then…

"I'LL SCRATCH HIS EYES OUT!"

"WHEN I GET MY CLAWS ON THAT LITTLE A-"

"As easy as lovers go! So don't complicate it by…hesitating and…this is wonderful as loving goes, this is…telling me what's the…sense in waiting and…this is easy as lovers go! So don't complicate it by, hesitating and…this is wonderful as loving goes, this is…telling me what's the…sense in waaaiiitiiing!"

Nick was just singing a little as he walked through town, thinking about how wonderful it felt to be in love. He was going to start singing "Falling For the First Time" when something very interesting happened…

"_Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha!" _

A taxi suddenly shot by, driven by a familiar-looking 6-tentacled experiment who was cackling. Nick blinked. Naw, it couldn't be…could it?

Then he saw 621 and 627 running pell-mell after it. "GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SQUIRT!" "WHEN I GET MY CLAWS ON YOOOOUUU!!!" They completely ignored Nick and ran after the taxi as fast as they could, even though it was going three times faster than they were.

The sight of them chasing a taxi was so funny that Nick broke into laughter and laughed so hard his stomach and chest hurt.

SLAP!

So he slapped himself, and focused again. "Okay, I think Snafu will keep THEM occupied…huh?"

Then he heard what sounded an awful lot like…snoring. With bells ring-a-linging in the background. Nick turned his head and saw an ice cream truck coming down the road…with 625, face glum, driving it. He pulled up to Nick.

"What flavor would _you_ like, little boy?" He grumbled.

"Mind explaining the soundtrack your stolen truck's got?"

"It was SUPPOSED to be Angel's song, but somehow…well, blubber butt's plan got ruined somehow. Somebody musta switched the tapes or somethin'."

"Snafu, probably." Nick said. "Actually that was DEFINITELY him. Crikey, he works fast!"

"Whatever…I need an ice cream sandwich. Wanna ride back to your house?"

"Uh…could you drop me off at Gantu's ship?"

"Sure, why not? I'm headin' that way myself."

"Is uh…is this YOUR snoring?"

"Yes. And it gets worse. I sometimes have night terrors."

"Oh boy."

Meanwhile, Gantu was sobbing into his arms as the recording went out…a recording of him singing in the shower, a bad rendition of "Strangers in the Night." Dougie was laughing so hard that the chair he was in fell over.

"Waaaaaaaaaah! Noooo faaaaaiiiiirrr…"

"WOOP! HA-HA-HA! HARDY HAR HAR!"

Stitch wiped his hands free of imaginary dirt. When he and Lilo had jumped into the air the ray guns had aimed…and fired…and hit each other.

Unfortunately they still were locked out. Luckily Stitch was very strong, and he broke through the ship's hull easily. Soon they were inside the ship, heading for the cargo hold where the experiments were being kept.

"Okay Stitch. Let's hurry up. We don't know how much longer we have to break them out."

"Ih." Stitch said, nodding. He'd brought two plasma pistols and had tucked them away with his extra arms. They popped out and he handed one to Lilo. The two stood on each side of the cargo hold doorway.

Lilo nodded. Stitch hit the open button.

They rushed in. "Don't worry guys, we're here to-"

CLUNK! CLUNK!

Two experimental capsules fell down from the ceiling, trapping them. A grinning Snafu was standing there, tentacle on a lever. 561 was standing right behind him. Wow, Snafu really **DID **work fast!

"Did you really think you could possibly pull your little plan off?"

"Well we were kinda making it up as we went along."

"Then it's lucky that I decided to stay behind…lucky for ME, anyway. You dear cousin are now our prisoner, and you dear Lilo…are MY prisoner."

561 licked his lips. "If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times…I shall swallow your light, and make you one with me. Now the time has come."

Snafu suddenly blinked, and turned around, saying something under his breath, rapidly.

"Don't interfere, cousin." 561 said smoothly.

"You wanna do THAT to her?" Snafu asked in Galactic, horrified. "That is just…that's _it_! Take _this_!"

Snafu suddenly reached out with another tentacle and pulled another lever down. A capsule slammed down on 561 with a loud CLUNK. "HA!" Snafu laughed.

CLUNK.

One had now covered him…by accident.

"Wow. Talk about your good luck." Lilo thought. "Not quite." 561 said, looking oddly calm. "You see, Gantu and 625 are already on their way back…and I doubt that YOU'LL get out of this unharmed, child."

Angel, from her capsule, looked out at Stitch. "Boojibu…" Stitch looked at her. "Boojibu…I…I…love you."

Angel's eyes widened. Suddenly she became filled with a kind of strength she didn't know she had…she HAD to break free. "BOOJIBU! I'll save you!" She slammed her forehead against her capsule…

And it shattered. Everyone gasped. "Wow!" Lilo said. Angel ran over and broke Stitch's container the same way, and the two hugged. Then Stitch broke Lilo's container and Snafu's, and the four of them walked over to the control console that would let their cousins (except for 561, who was glaring angrily at them) go.

"Wow." Lilo said again. "Love really DOES conquer all."

"It can't conquer my blaster!" Gantu said, stepping into the cargo hold with a sneer, plasma blaster leveled at them. He shot at Stitch, who caught the plasma bullet in his hands, throwing it right back at the land shark's plasma pistol. The bullet flew right back into the pistol and a moment later it exploded.

"I had three more payments left on that, you lousy abomination!!!" Gantu ran at Stitch, fists raised high.

Suddenly a familiar dragon pounced down from the ceiling, who had been hiding all this time and waiting for his chance.

Nick and 625 walked toward the ship and were greeted by a strange sight. 16 experiments were clamoring out of the ship, rushing past them with quick greetings and goodbyes. Nick realized that Lilo and Stitch had pulled it off, they'd rescued the cousins!

But uh…where were they?

Then Gantu flew out of the ship, and when I saw flew out I don't mean he was thrown out. No he was lifted into the air by Heartwing, who spun the big bully around and around before throwing him into the water. Heartwing nodded, satisfied, and flapped back down to the ground. Lilo, Stitch, Angel and Snafu walked out of the ship, and Nick ran over to greet them.

"Hey guys! Hey Snafu, nice job dealing with 621 and 627." "Taka." Snafu said, bowing. "Since you like foiling plans, maybe Cobra Bubbles can use you in the secret shadow government, foiling the plans of terrorists and stuff." Lilo said. "Yeah that sounds like a good place for him." Nick said. "Hey wait…where's 561?" "And where did 625 go, he was right here wasn't he?" "And what happened to 621 and 627?"

625 calmly picked his toes inside the jungle and waited. A few minutes later a very angry 561 landed in the clearing 625 was in, giving his cousin a look that could kill. 621 and 627 showed up soon after, not wanting to say anything and all out of breath from chasing a taxi.

"Well…we lost again." 625 said.

"No kidding, Sherlock." 627 snarled. "_And_ we lost 628!"

"Well…not quite." 625 said, pulling out a familiar-looking blue capsule that was labeled "628". "Guess what I picked up from the parked taxi I saw nearbyyyy?" He said in a sing-song voice.

621 grinned. "Yes…yessss, great job, 625. Snafu's been found, and we have 628. So then, that leaves only one more experiment to be activated…"

561 nodded, feeling a little bit better. "And with 628 in our possession, things are sure to improve…for us, anyway."

627 wiped some drool free from his mouth. "Hey, I just realized something…how come we haven't heard from that dumb rodent in a while?"

561 shrugged. "I'm sure he's been busy…"

Quite a long distance away…

Hamsterviel grinned.

Nani was alone, in the house, with nobody else.

And he had a sleeping gas bomb in a backpack that he had brought. Inside that backpack was also a camera, a marker and a flash drive. Four things that would enable him to rule the galaxy.

He stood in the driveway of the Pelekai house, tossing the bomb up and down. Yes, this was going to be wonderful.

He walked up the steps slowly. He climbed on top of the doorknob and jumped, going onto the roof. He shimmied across the roof and went to a nearby window, listening.

Okay, the sister of that annoying girl Lilo was in the living room, watching the television. Good.

And the window to the kitchen was open. He swung inside, landing in an empty sink. He pressed the trigger on his bomb and flung it. It bounced a few times off of the kitchen floor and then rolled into the living room…

PHOOMP!

Pink gas exploded everywhere in the room. Nani looked up, surprised…but the moment it hit her nostrils she felt so tired…

So…

Very…

Tired…

Nani collapsed on the couch. Hamsterviel waited for ten minutes then hopped out of the sink and onto the floor, walking into the living room and then to the stairs, going up them to Jumba's room…where his computer was.

He walked into Jumba's room. He opened the computer's lid.

He inserted the flash drive into the computer and accessed the folder labeled "Inventions".

He found the file he wanted. Grinned.

Saved a copy to the flash drive.

Then he closed the computer and opened the desk drawer, revealing some papers inside. He took out his camera.

CLICK! FLASH!

Then the evil rodent hopped down, heading back downstairs. He walked into the living room and looked at the sleeping Nani. She looked so peaceful and content.

He sneered and took out the camera from his backpack. He then pulled the marker out…

Laughter echoed through the house, gradually fading away.


	37. Spike

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

SPIKE

Nick tried very hard not to laugh when he first saw Nani. Unfortunately he failed. He had had to slap himself to gain control. Unfortunately Lilo and Stitch hadn't discovered that self-slapping could be used as an uncontrollable laughter deterrent yet, and when they, Jumba and Pleakley found Nani on the couch they laughed so hard they fell on the floor, eventually stopping only because they ran out of breaths.

Nick walked into the kitchen a poured a small glass of water. He walked back inside the living room and tossed it onto Nani's sleeping face. She woke up with a start.

"What the? Hey, who got the couch…and ME…all wet!?!"

"Nani, look in the mirror." Nick said. Lilo and the others were too winded to say anything. Nani raised an eyebrow but walked to the bathroom. A moment later she let out a "WOAHAAAH!" as she stared into her own eyes.

Someone had taken a marker and had drawn rings around her eyes, a whirlpool on her cheek, a mustache on her face (a handlebar mustache), a goatee on her chin, spots on her forehead and stripes on her nose.

She looked frickin' hilarious.

Nick started laughing, this time not bothering to stop himself in any way. "HA! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!"

Jumba, who had finally calmed down, became serious. "Somebody has been in house." He said. "Somebody who left…THIS."

He picked up a small, orb-like thing from the floor. "Sleep bomb. Am recognizing it. Common item us-ed by experiments on missions when they were supposed to steal things for me." "How many missions did you send your experiments on?" "Only the best." Jumba said proudly. "And believe me, I am not very proud of what I ordered them to do…though I have to admit, it did give me rush of adrenaline to send my little "agents of chaos" out, heh-heh."

"So is the sleep bomb's used by E.G.O?" "Oh, yes. Yes. Sometimes at parties too! So then, this means that…Hamsterviel has been inside the house where is my computer?!?"

Jumba rushed upstairs in a frenzy. He yanked the door to his room open and saw the computer, untouched. He opened his laptop computer up and pressed a few buttons, going to " Document History" and then "Recent".

"Ah HA. I knew it. He WAS here…and has been accessing files on my inventions!"

Lilo and Stitch walked upstairs with Nick, who had finally stopped laughing. "So the wascally wabbit's out to learn your tricks of the trade?" "Tricks are for kids." Jumba said. "I have _techniques_. _Style_. Mastery of the art known as gadget invention!"

"Um…Jumba?"

"Yes little girl?"

"Is there, uh…anything dangerous that Hamsterviel looked up?"

"Luckily have not been working on weapons on computer, or on anywhere else. Only on alternative fuel ideas, new types of transportation, new kind of video game system…"

"Cool."

"CCS!"

"I also have ideas for Time Board. Will be version 2.0."

"What's so special about it?"

"Comes with Pop-Up Blocker, heh-heh."

Nick's right hand, now in a fist, went up to his lip. He furrowed his brow in thought, frowning slightly.

"Hmm…hmm…he probably was after the Time Board invention. But it doesn't look like he…wait…Jumba, check back in History. See if he had a flash drive stuck in your laptop!"

Jumba did. He scrolled down the screen to find, sure enough…

"Travel Drive: E. Sneaky rodent! Copied MY inventions onto HIS stupid flash drive…will be paying for this!"

"This is bad." Nick thought out loud. "He's trying to build his own time machine so he can go back in time. This is VERY bad."

"Will have to find him. Stop him."

"Guys, that's gonna have to wait."

Nani had just run into the room, looking worried…and still annoyed about someone drawing on her face.

"Why?" Lilo asked. Stitch tilted his head a little, confused.

"Downstairs. Quick. Look what's on the TV."

Everyone ran downstairs and into the living room, where Pleakley was watching "Dr. Okrah." "PLEAKLEY! Turn it back to the news!" "Oh!" Pleakley said, gasping when they saw him. "Sorry." He flipped the channel back, and the news came on.

There, on the news, looking angrily around a museum, was one of Stitch's cousins. One who HADN'T been found. The very last one they had been looking for, in fact. A blond-haired anchorwoman was talking at the scene. The experiment was looking at her, slightly annoyed that she was talking so loud. It had a big red nose, large black eyes, black claws, and looked a lot like a porcupine with blur fur…though its quills were really more like large white spikes.

_Hmm…that experiment is familiar…what did it do and what was it' s name again? _

"-no idea as to the nature of this strange creature, but authorities are on their way to capture it. So far the dangerous creature has yet to attack anybody and has remained relatively peaceful, so it is to early to talk about having it put down for rabies, though in this humble reporter's opinion the little-"

The experiment apparently didn't like the idea of being killed OR being labeled with rabies, and it snarled at the woman. It arched it's long, spike-filled tail back, and then shot spikes out from it. The quill-like spikes flew through the air, hitting the woman in the butt. She yelped…and then…

"Widdle…widdle fanny foo foo!" She had a silly grin on her face, and was now wandering off, mumbling something unintelligible. Nick blinked. "Uh…did that woman just lose all mental capacity or something?" "Not quite. You are seeing effects of Experiment 319. I nam-ed him Spike, for obvious reasons. His primary function is to increase goofy and silly factor in being by 99, leaving you only 1 clever. One time shot me. Luckily even MY one percent was enough to keep me normal. Unfortunately he also shot Hamsterviel…"

"Ouch."

"Got him right in buttocks. And even more unfortunately, Hamsterviel is not quite as smart as me, so…well…"

"Does it wear off?"

"Eventually, after uh…24 hours, I believe."

"Can we say it?" Lilo asked. "Say what?" Nick asked. Lilo gave him a "Oh, you silly fooler" look, and he understood. "Oh, of course."

"To the museum!" Lilo said, pointing up dramatically.

"Atooki ba waba!" Stitch said, just as dramatically.

"I'll get the car keys." Nani said.

"I wanna drive. Pleeeaaase?" Nick asked, getting on bended knee and giving her Bambi eyes.

"No way, Nick."

"Aw, dang. Come _on_, you know I'm really 14…"

"Save it for when you get your driver's license."

"But I have my learner's permit!...well I'm getting it in the fall…"

"Well, I have to have my E.A.R.W.A.X meeting here in an hour. Do you think you can stop…uh, Spike…in time for the meeting?"

"Probably." Lilo said.

"Well good. I'll make chocolate chip muffins."

"Is one thing you make RIGHT." Jumba said, chuckling.

About half an hour later, Lilo, Stitch and Nick arrived at the museum. Nani gave them a look and said "Be careful." Jumba hopped out of the car with his plasma gun, a stun capsule inserted.

"Do not be worrying. We will neutralize experiment with no problems."

Our brave foursome walked inside to be greeted by what was quite an interesting sight. 561, 621, 627 and Gantu had all arrived on the scene to catch Spike. Unfortunately they had failed and as such…

"Can't say I didn't warn them." 625 said. He was drinking a diet coke that he'd brought in a plain-looking white bag. "How come you're not eating a sandwich?" "Trying to wean myself off of them. I have nine a day, can you believe it? I gotta cut down. So I'm finding substitutes wherever I can." "I take it that you were the only one of the group who DIDN'T try to engage Spike head on…or at all." "Correctamundo, kid. And lookit what happened to those poor saps."

561 was slumped on the ground, tongue all rolled out. He was mumbling some song.

"Estuans interius, ira vehementi, estuans interius, ira vehementi…"

"Ira Vehementi. Irate...vehement...oh! I get it! Something about violent anger…violent anger…estuans. Hmm. Estuans. I think…I think something to do with fire or being on fire, like burning or something. And interius means inside. So…burning inside, violent anger?"

"Oh right, you know Latin! Cool."

627 kept walking into a wall, and was drooling heavily. 621 sat on his rump, tilting his head back and forth, going "bonkadonk" every time his head tilted. And Gantu? Well…

He was spinning on his head.

"Weeee!" He said.

Nick looked around. "Hey, where's Spi-OWIIIIIEEEE!!!"

Nick shot into the air. Lilo gasped and turned around, and Jumba quickly whipped his plasma gun at the cause of Nick's affliction…

Spike had shot one of his spikes right into Nick's butt. Nick landed on the ground, groaning.

"I feel weird." He said simply. Then he grinned stupidly and began to hum some kind of theme song. Lilo put her hands on her hips and looked disapprovingly at Spike. Stitch went into full battle mode, all arms out, antennae spiking out and spikes jutting from his back.

"Spike, quit it! People could get hurt!"

Spike snickered. "Experiment 312 does not want to stop. Likes shooting people with spikes…especially enjoys seeing expressions on face when they are hit in buttocks." Jumba explained. "But…" He cocked his gun. "Will be seeing things OUR way with little…persuasion, heh-heh-heh-heh-heh…"

Lilo ran in front of Jumba. "Jumba, don't shoot him! He's _ohana_, remember?"

Spike blinked. _Ohana_? What was that?

"Would you like to be in our family?" Stitch asked Spike in Tantalog, walking over. "Family? Would you…take care of me?" "Yes. And we'll find you the one true place you belong too." "One true place…I like it! Okay, I'll go with you guys. And uh…sorry about hitting the kid in the butt. Maybe it is a cheap shot doing it from behind." "Jumba, are you sure the goofiness wear off in 24 hours?" Lilo asked, as Nick stood up and began to pick his nose with great gusto.

Jumba made an "ew" face, but nodded. "Am positively positive." He said.

"Good, because Nick is silly enough."

Nick began to line dance, singing "Achy Breaky Heart" in a silly voice. Lilo started giggling.

"Hey Jumba…did you bring your camera?"

625 whistled. He pulled a video camera out of his bag. "Right here. Five bucks for half an hour of filming."

"Deal." Lilo said, pulling out her wallet.

625 grinned. "Camera…five bucks an hour. High quality film…ten dollars. Quality connector cable to a computer, 50 bucks. Broadcasting half an hour of THIS stuff…" 625 waved his arm around the museum at the goof troop of 561, 621, 627, Gantu and Nick.

"Priceless." Stitch finished.

"Say cheese!" Lilo said, turning the camera on and pointing it at Nick, who had taken off his shoes and was trying to bite his toenails, all while looking at a whale skeleton. "The "Jerky Spaniel" show will pay big bucks for footage like this!" Jumba said. "Naw, I think I'm just gonna post it on "Youtube"." Lilo replied. "Is also nice idea."

Hamsterviel looked at the plans on his computer. Excellent. It was all perfect. He would build the Time Board and see his great plan come to fruition.

But it would take a long while for the parts to get there. At least a few months. It was so HARD to find good stuff on the intergalactic black market, and even harder to get it to where you wanted it quickly. Plus they charged way too much, lousy rotten…

Nevertheless, Hamsterviel was a patient person…when he wanted to be. So he would wait. He would wait.

Time would soon be on his side. LITERALLY.

Hamsterviel walked over to the Destiny Crystal and faced it again.

"Oh crystal on the wall…please hear me when I call…my perfect plan I now have made…will it be done by Fall?"

_Do not ask me how…but the plans you have right now…will not bear fruit for many a month, till you see a snowplow. _

Hamsterviel groaned. "But that's in…that's in five months! I must wait five whole months?!? ARGH!"

He walked over to his bed and jumped into it, groaning. "Maybe my future self will show up with the time board to help me cheat this wait…" He mused.

Then he rolled his eyes.

"And as long as I'm dreaming, I'd like my own private continent and a nice rotating chair. Who knows what could happen between now and December? I can't believe I have to wait five months, FIVE MONTHS! I can't hide for that long…ohhh…"

He hopped off his bed. He walked towards his bathroom…then stopped.

He thought he heard a distant voice.

"_I'm going fast as I can, please don't make me rush, this feeling's coming on way too fast…"_

Hamsterviel covered his ears. "Shut up!" He growled. "Leave me alone! Stay away!"

"_I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget, but I'm not ready to say "I love you" yet…I'm not ready to say "I love you" yet…" _

"Go away! I don't want you around! Leave me ALONE! GO AWAY!"

The voice was gone a moment later. Hamsterviel shuddered. "I need an aspirin." He thought out loud, and headed for the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet.

Though deep down, a small, tiny voice told him what he TRULY needed…

And it was something that he did not, in any way, want right now. Something he might never want at all.

But the voice was still there. Though muffled, quieted, silenced temporarily, it would keep coming back, and ever since his big invasion plan had failed, it had been coming back more frequently.

Hamsterviel popped the pills into his mouth, dry-swallowing them. He looked at his face in the mirror.

"I was happy once." He thought, and then walked back to his bed, hopping inside and getting under the covers.

"Once…heh…once upon a time."

The next day, at Lilo's house…

"Okay everyone, I want you to meet the newest member of our little group. Say hi to…Spike!"

Spike waved. The experiments gathered at E.A.R.W.A.X, which were Bonnie and Clyde, Fibber, Splodyhead, Slushy and Nosy, Page and Crystallene, all waved back.

"Spike, tell us a little about yourself. You dreams, insecurities, anything you want to get off your chest. That's what Dr. Okrah always says."

"Uh…I…" Spike started, but stopped when he saw that the experiment known as Bonnie was sticking her tongue out at him. "Hey!" He snarled in Galactic. "Wanna come over here and try doing that again, you stupid broad?!?"

"Now that is ENOUGH, mister!" Pleakley said, stomping one of his feet. But then things got worse…

Page offered a suggestion. "Look, how about we hear something from another person? Nosy my dear cousin, would you like to get something off your chest? Confess, my cousin. Confess freely, and be forgiven."

"You bet, Baptist!" Nosy said. Nosy was a pinkish-red experiment, with a very big nose, and he was fairly short as well. His primary function had been to divulge classified information, but now he mostly just annoyed and angered people with gossip. He took a deep breath and made sure everyone was paying attention before he spoke.

"Pleakley here ordered a blue girdle in the mail!" Nosy blurted out, pointing at Pleakley.

Nick, who was in the room to make sure the experiments didn't get wild like on "Jerky Spaniel", let out a loud snort of laughter. The other experiments began to laugh. Pleakley looked indignant. "Well, I never! I did not!"

BEEEP!

"Uh, Mr. Lie-Detector over there says otherwise." Bonnie said, sneering. Fibber nodded.

"And his antenna's not really green! He's been dying it! It's going prematurely ORANGE!"

"Why you little monster! I have NOT died it!" Pleakley said, getting angry.

BEEEP!

"SURE you haven't." Clyde said, snickering.

"Thou shall not lie." Page said. "Bonnie, is, uh…something wrong?"

"I don't even know why I'm here, you crazy Catholic." Bonnie said suddenly, sulking on the couch. "I shouldn't be in prison. I'm too smart fer that place. It's the pits I tells ya!" "Hey Bonnie?" Clyde asked. "If you're so smart, how'd YOU end up in the big house along with me? Ha-ha-ha!"

"Shut up!" Bonnie said. She whacked him on his metal arm, making her groan. "Ow! I messed up because of you! It's all your fault!"

BEEEP!

"That ain't what Fibber says!"

"You ruined everything!"

BEEEP!

"Stop it! Dr. Okrah says we're supposed to be hugging and crying!"

Page sighed. "Can we not simply live in peace, like family should? For all beings are blessed with the gift of life, one of the most precious gifts that God can grant…and the ability to love, to feel, to forgive, we should not take these gifts for granted, we should…"

"Stuff it you lousy Lutheran!" Bonnie snarled.

"Fine, let's move to Aromatherapy." Pleakley said, groaning. "Aromatherapy sounds weird, but it's simply the use of-"

Nosy continued. "Oh, and Splodyhead? That hot lemonade you're drinking? Clyde spat in it. And Slushy, Bonnie licked that pizza slice you're eating."

Splodyhead and Slushy let out "PFOOOOFFFHH!" sounds as their respective snacks were spat out from their mouths. They turned on Bonnie and Clyde and growled.

"Run, Clyde!" Bonnie shouted. She dove behind the couch.

Nick's eyes widened. "Aw, dang." He said.

"NO! Resist not one who is evil! Turn the other cheek!"

"Duck, you idiotic Anabaptist!"

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER…

"AAAA!" Nosy ran around, being chased by Fibber, who had somehow managed to get ahold of a chainsaw. Bonnie and Clyde had hid behind the couch, and Clyde was sneaking the occasional pot shot at Slushy and Splodyhead, who fired at the two outlaws' hiding place. Spike shot off spikes everywhere, and Pleakley was hysterical, hiding in the bathroom with Nick.

"Dr. Okrah says we're supposed to be hugging and crying, not doing all of…of THAT!"

"Pleakley, I think you need to calm down. Take deep brea-"

BANG! BANG!

"For the love of God, let me in! Let me in! I implore you, in the name of the Father, the Son and the-"

VROOOOMMM!

"HOLY-! AAA!!!"

"GET BACK HERE, YOU PRESBYTERIAN PILE OF BLITZNACK!"

Nick gulped. "Uh…I don't suppose you have a suit of armor or something?"

Pleakley thought. "Hmm…wait a minute…Nick, can you cover me until I reach the broom closet?"

"Okaaaay…" Nick said, weirded out. He snuck a peek outside.

"SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY! GOD HELP MEEEE!"

"GET BACK HERE, YOU MORMON MOTHER-!"

"CLYDE, SAVE ME!"

"I GOTCHA, BONNIE!"

VROOOOM!

"Uh…you better hurry."

Nick helped Pleakley out of the bathroom, and the alien ran for the broom closet, rushing inside and closing it shut. Nick watched carefully for any signs of approaching, wild experiments. Luckily none came into the hallway; they were all losing control in the living room.

Finally Pleakley came out. Wearing…

A suit…of armor. Complete with gloves, a helmet with a visor, and a large breastplate. It had been shined to perfection as well, Nick could see his own astounded expression in it.

"What the heck?"

"Thank you, online shopping!" Pleakley exclaimed. "Now step back and watch." He said. Nick watched as Pleakley walked into the living room, with all of the experiments staring right at him, surprised.

"I don't think you're evil." Pleakley said. "I think you're _special_! Come on, gimme a huuug." He hugged Spike, who blinked slowly before bursting into tears. "Waaa!" He sobbed. "Aw, that's all right. Let it out, let it out." Bonnie turned to Clyde, getting all teary-eyed. "Aw, Clyde…hug me! I'm so sorry!"

Suddenly everyone was hugging and crying in the living room. "I won't cry…I won't cry…" Nosy said.

BEEEEP!

"Aw darn. WAAAA!!!"

Nick smiled. "Aw, Pleakley did it! And all it took was a suit of armor and a hug." He thought for a moment. "But where did he find a suit of armor for sale online?"

"Don't asking." Jumba said, walking by. "Don't asking."

"Okay, okay."

Jumba suddenly handed him a note in a stealthy gesture. "Huh?" Nick read it.

"Ask him how Paris is in Springtime, then after he is responding, say "Chinchilla"."

Nick blinked, thinking for a little bit.

Then he shrugged.

"Why not? I can get my Christmas shopping done early."


	38. To Whom It May Concern

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Myrtle Edmonds was in a mood.

And whenever Myrtle Edmonds was in a mood, especially a really bad and miserable one, she made everyone else around her just as miserable and unhappy as she was.

She woke up at 9:30 feeling crummy, even sleeping with her "Daddy Dearest" doll hadn't helped.

When her slightly ditzy mother made her pancakes for breakfast she "harrumphed" and pushed the plate away, saying that she wasn't very hungry. Mrs. Edmonds saw that her little Myrtle was in one of her moods and sighed.

"Honey, do you want anything to dri-"

"Go away." Myrtle growled.

Mrs. Edmonds frowned. "Now young lady, don't talk back to me like that. Just because-"

"_You're not the boss of me_!" Myrtle yelled, jumping down from her chair and storming off, still clutching onto her little doll. Mrs. Edmonds sighed and sat down in the chair. She sipped her coffee, wishing that she could say something, ANYTHING that would make Myrtle feel better.

Myrtle stormed to her room, got dressed in record speed, and then snuck out of her house from the tree that grew near her window, not wanting to see her mother's face again. She carefully made her way down from the tree, doll in her pocket. She finally climbed down and walked across the grass, around the house and down the street, deciding to go the park.

Unfortunately she ran into her posse.

"Hey Myrtle, what's up?"

"We're thinking of going to the beach. Wanna come?"

"Yeah, and then to the luau."

"I don't want to." Myrtle said stiffly, clutching her doll tightly.

"Really?"

"YES." She snarled, and walked off, pushing them away. Her friends looked at her, astounded.

"Man, Myrtle's _really_ in a mood today."

As she continued to walk down the street she saw "Weird-Lo" and her "dumb dog", along with "No Grey-Matter" and "Freaktoria". She ignored them, but they saw her all the same. Nick stopped singing "Hot Rod Sleigh" and waved cheerily, as did Lilo.

"Hey Myrtle!" Lilo called out. "We're going to the park. Wanna come with?"

Stitch, who had a Frisbee in his mouth, barked convincingly. Nick held up a guitar. "And then later we're gonna play our favorite songs. I'm gonna see if I can pull off one by Good Charlotte, maybe "Screamer", that's one of my favorites. You like Good Charlotte?"

Myrtle gave him a nasty glare.

"Sheesh, what's wrong with YOU?" Nick asked, indignant. Victoria blinked slowly. "Hmm...uh oh. Myrtle's in one of her moods."

"A mood? She's ALWAYS in a bad mood whenever we see her…either that or a mean one."

"Hanging out with freaks and weirdos will do that to me!" Myrtle said nastily. "I was GOING to go to the park but if you losers are going than I guess I won't."

"Man, how on Earth did a nice woman like your mom end up with a nasty spoiled brat like you?"

"Blame my dad." Myrtle said under her breath, but although Nick, Lilo and Victoria didn't hear, Stitch did.

"Dad bad?" He asked.

Myrtle looked at him, the rushed at him, shoving him to the ground.

"SHUT UP! You don't know what he's like! Stop talking about my father! He's **going** to come back!"

She stormed off, making all sorts of nasty insults as she did so. Lilo helped Stitch up. Victoria unplugged her ears.

"Man, she's REALLY in a mood."

Nick didn't say anything at first. He blinked once. Then twice.

Then he said something.

"Hey…have you guys ever seen Myrtle's parents?"

Silence. Then…

"Hmm…no."

"Naga."

"Uh, no."

"I thought so." Nick said. "I think something's up with Myrtle's dad. I'm going to go talk to Mrs. Edmonds…"

"Maybe we shouldn't." Lilo said. "I mean, why should we care about Myrtle's dad?"

"If he's dead, then maybe you have something in common with her, Lilo. And if he divorced, then maybe I'LL have something in common. Besides, don't you want to know why she always acts so mean? I'll bet it has to do with her Dad."

Victoria pointed over in the direction of Myrtle's house. "Well her house is down there, the eleventh one, the one with purple flowers in the windowsill."

"Okay, I'll go talk to Mrs. Edmonds."

Nick walked off for Myrtle's house, and soon arrived. He knocked on the door and Mrs. Edmonds opened it.

"Hello? Oh! Nice to see you again, Nick. It's been what, a few weeks?"

"Yeah, sorry about accidentally knocking that display stand down in the supermarket."

"It's okay, I got the ketchup stains out."

"Uh, anyway, can I ask you a few questions?"

"What about?"

"About...well, they're about Myrtle's dad."

Mrs. Edmonds took in a breath. "Huh…Henry? I…well, I don't know…I…all right. Come in. I suppose it was bound to come out sooner or later."

Nick came inside, following Mrs. Edmonds to the kitchen. He sat down as Mrs. Edmonds poured him a glass of water and she got herself some more coffee. She sighed as she sat down and put the mug down, running her hands through her hair a few times before saying anything. Neither of them knew that Myrtle was listening outside the kitchen window, sitting up against the side of the wall.

"Mr. Edmonds…Henry, my husband…he was so proud to have Mildred as his daughter. She was bright, talented…she had to wear glasses, but he didn't care. He picked them out because he knew that Mildred loved the color blue. And he…he bought her a doll every few weeks. If she'd been extra good, he'd buy her two."

Nick nodded. Suddenly he realized why she had so many dolls.

_Wait…Mildred?_

"Uh...Mildred?"

"Myrtle's name. Mildred Pearl Edmonds."

"Oh…"

"Well, he owned a tourist attraction business, I'm in real estate…we've always been very prosperous and with Myrtle we were happy as well. Then…well, he had to go away on business far away. He promised Myrtle he'd come back and gave her the last doll she ever got from him…one that looked like him."

Nick, who had been in mid sip, never took the sip. He stopped.

"He made it himself. Made it to look like him. So that "You'll always have me with you", he said. He drove off, down the street…took the airplane…and we never heard from him again."

Nick felt chills go up his spine. No wonder Myrtle was so unhappy. She had no father anymore.

"You're lucky." Myrtle said, her voice sounding frighteningly calm and stoic. "You and Lilo." She was standing in the doorway.

"Oh honey, I didn't know…"

But Myrtle wasn't listening. She was there and yet not there, clutching the doll to her chest tightly.

"Lilo's no longer got parents. She had them but she doesn't anymore. At least she KNOWS they're gone. And you…I heard your parents are divorced. At least they're alive. At least you see them. I can't see my dad. I don't know if he's okay or dead or anything…"

Nick suddenly felt very guilty, and he couldn't help feeling sorry for Myrtle.

"I might never know. You have no idea how lucky you are."

With that, she turned and walked out the door. Nick got up and followed behind her.

She was sitting on the curb, fiddling with her doll's hair. Nick looked at her then sat next to her.

"Myrtle…can I ask you something?"

"Why not?" She muttered.

"Do you love your father?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he loves you?"

"I know he loved me."

"Then what more do you need? You love him. He loves you…that's enough, right"

"I want more."

"I want my grandfather back." Nick said suddenly. Myrtle turned to him. "But I can't get him back. I know I'll see him again though. I just know it. And I'm sure you'll see your father again."

"But what if he's dead, or hurt?"

"He loves you."

"But…what if?"

"And what if he loves you? Does anything else matter? So he's not here to kiss you goodnight. So he's not there for your hula practice. Do you honestly believe he's dead?"

Myrtle shook her head. "I just…think he can't come back somehow."

"Do you honestly believe he loves you?"

"Yeah…"

"Then take it with you everywhere you go. Your mother misses her husband. I'm sure she hurts as much as you. You need to learn to be there for her. You need to learn to accept that you can't magically wish your father back. But you can do something though…"

"What?"

"Whatever happy memories you have with your father…keep them. Take them with you. And learn to accept that you had bad memories too. Learn to forgive if he left you. But don't ever forget his love for you. I know it sounds corny, but…well, corny is true sometimes. Really true."

Myrtle looked at her doll. Then she looked up at Nick.

"Uh…Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"…thanks, I guess."

"So will you talk to your mom and cheer her up? She seems pretty sad."

"Maybe This doesn't mean we're friends or anything though."

"Good enough for me." Nick said, giving Myrtle a smile and walking off. He waved back at her, and Myrtle looked down at the doll.

She held it tightly, a gentle tear falling down on it.

Then she said something finally.

"Thanks Nick. Thanks."

She walked inside.

"Hey Mom, do you wanna talk?..."

**Author's Note:**

**To tell the truth, when my parents told me they were divorcing, it was in the evening. They called me to the couch and they were crying. They told me and my brother that...well, you know. That they were...just...not in love the way a husband and wife should be, and that they were seperating. And then came divorce. I remember I hugged my mom and dad so hard I almost broke their backs. My brother was sobbing. I was beyond it...but it hurt. Really...really hurt.**

**So, this chapter goes out to everyone who has parents who are dead, missing or like me, seperated and/or divorced. All you can really do is just move on and do all you can to remember the good times and bad. But try not to take the really bad stuff with you. **


	39. The Accordion Dies Tonight!

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX **

THE ACCORDION DIES TONIGHT!

Pleakley slowly inched out of bed and began tiptoeing to the door. He eased it open with incredible quiet and then slowly tiptoed down the stairs and to the closet in the hall, getting on a large overcoat and a wide-brimmed hat, both dark brown in color. He put on gloves and carefully walked across the floor, careful not to let a single board creak. He reached for the door.

"Careful…careful…"

He opened it up and walked outside, slowly closing it back just as carefully as he'd opened it. He then quickly ran down the steps, down the driveway and into town, sprinting as fast as his three legs would let him. He ran down the sidewalk, a brown blur.

In about ten minutes he was panting, out of breath, and flopped on the ground…

But at his destination.

The Post Office, which had just opened a minute earlier.

It was 6:00 AM on December 15th, and Pleakley had to get something important from the post office. He slowly stood up, still panting, and opened the Post Office door, walking inside.

There, at the counter, was a slightly-tired middle aged man with grey streaks in his blond hair. He rubbed his eyes and put on as cheery a smile as he could muster.

"Morning, sir! Uh…aren't you hot in that?" "I uh…" Pleakley coughed and changed his tone to be as gruff as he could possibly be. "I'm here to pick up a package. It's pretty big." "Oh, sure! Hold on. There are two here." He turned his back and walked to two packages, both about the same size.

"Hmm…" "One should be for a "W. Pleakley"." "Oh, okay. Here you go!"

The man picked up the large package on the left and lifted it up, walking over to the counter and putting it down. He then walked over to a small table nearby and picked up a metal clipboard with a few dozen sheets of paper on it, all with lines on the end of them.

"Sign there, there, and there. I sign here."

"Okay." Pleakley signed. "Is that all?"

"Yep! Enjoy your…uh…whatever it is, just like the guy who picks up this other thing should. Hey uh…what is it?"

"It's an accordion?!?"

625 looked at 627, mouth wide open. 621 held the bridge of his nose with his claws and shut his eyes, lowering his head slightly. "Ugh...just when I thought you couldn't be any more annoying!" 561 simply raised an eyebrow. As for Gantu…

"What the devil do you think you're doing with THAT?"

627 grinned and held up his red accordion. It had an engraving on it that red "To The Baddest Bad Guy In Town" in gold letters on the top, and the keys were ebony.

"I bought it online and charged it to some idiot's credit card." 625 blinked, confused. "Huh? Hold on a minute, dontcha have to know…"

627 sneered. "The idiot who had originally had it had just gotten it. It had recently arrived in the mail. He said the number out loud and then, while he was walking back to his house…WHAM! I knocked him out and took the credit card. I didn't have a lot of time before the cops would try to trace it to me, so I ordered the accordion as fast as I could and had it delivered to the Post Office. Best of all, I did it all under a fake name. They'll NEVER find me!"

"A fake name?"

"Yep! E. Vile!"

621 groaned and walked off. "Well, it…FITS, I suppose. I'm staying out of this…"

"Me too." 561 added, walking off. 625 looked at them. "Hey, do you guys know something I should know?"

Too late. They were gone. "Oh well. Why'd you buy an accordion anyway?" 627 grinned. "I thought you'd never ask! Do you know how annoying accordion playing can be for most people?" "Unfortunately, yes." Gantu said, shivering. "Oh…the horror…the horror…"

627 nodded. "Well, I plan to drive all the people I can nuts with my playing! I'll make everyone's life just plain _miserable_!"

625 blinked.

**SFX: Waa, waa, waaa! **

"…ya bought an accordion just so ya could play badly and annoy the whole island?"

"Yep It's my dream! What did you _think_ I bought it for?" 627 asked, rolling his eyes.

"You wanna join a band as an accordion player?" Nick asked Pleakley, who was preparing to play his sky-blue accordion. It had beautiful white ivory keys and the silver inscription "To W. Pleakley" on the top.

"Yep!" Pleakley said proudly. The whole Pelekai household had gathered in the living room to listen to Pleakley play for the first time. "It's been a hobby of mine. A secret hobby. You see, besides getting an award for my studies on Earth, my other great dream has always been to be a professional accordion player, to be a part of a band!" "Uh…what kind of band would let an accordion player in?" Nani asked.

"The Wurzels would!" Lilo said.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, The Wurzels would. They did a cover of one of Oasis's best songs, "Don't Look Back In Anger", it's a favorite of mine."

Jumba blinked. "The WHO?"

Lilo shook her head. "No, no, The Who did "Tommy" and "Baby O' Reilly" and "Who Are You", not "Don't Look Back In Anger". Oasis did it originally, and The Wurzels did a cover of that." "Okaaay…" Nani said, sort of getting it.

Nick turned to Nani and Lilo. "Hey, by the way, which do you think is a cooler name for my electrical attack? I'm trying to think up a good title for it." "Isn't it called "Dashing Thunder"?" "Yeah, but yesterday I said "Electric Dash" and pulled off the move, so I guess the attack can work with both names."

Jumba groaned. "Boy, attack should not be announc-ed! Can probably pull of move without words, why speak?" "Because it's more melodramatic and heroic. So whaddya think? Dashing Thunder of Electric Dash?" "Electric Dash." "Dashing Thunder." "Not caring."

Nick rubbed his chin. "Hmm…Heartwing? What's your opinion?"

Heartwing blinked slowly. "???" Then he picked his nose with his tongue.

"Ew. Nevermind."

Heartwing looked at the accordion, head tilted. Angel sat next to Stitch scratching his back. He grinned happily and his ears hung down in a "relaxed" form. His tongue also hung out slightly. Nick smiled at this and turned to Pleakley. "Well, go ahead! Give it a try!"

Pleakley nodded and began to sing a tune to play by. His singing was pretty good, better than one would think…

"Oh when I'm gone, wontcha bury me deep…"

Then he began to PLAY.

"Cause there's wolverines reported in the arr-e-aahh!"

**Da-derr-derr-doo-derrr-darrrr!!! **

Jumba immediately plugged his ears. "ARGH! Is worst thing have ever heard, including ex-wife's singing at wedding!" Stitch yelped and ran out of the room with Angel and Heartwing right behind him. "My ears! They burn! They _buuuurrrrnnnn_!" Nick screamed, rolling around on the ground. Nani groaned. Lilo plugged her ears. "Pleakley, geez! Stop!"

"Oh, scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo-ho-ho, yo-ho-ho! Scurvy ain't for the likes of meee…"

**Deer-da-dorr-dee-derr-da-derrr, door-da-durr, door-da-durr! **

"STOP! PLEASE!" Nick screamed. "It **burns**!"

Pleakley stopped playing. "Well geez! Am I really that bad?"

"YES." Jumba growled, rubbing his sore ears slightly. "Am hoping you are not going to be practicing in house?!?"

Pleakley looked down at the ground, guilt creeping onto his face. "Uh…um…I guess not anymore." "GOOD." Jumba said. Walking over to Pleakley, he pulled out his wallet and stuffed all of the cash contents into Pleakley's pockets. "Take money, go rent hotel room and practice there. Go! Go!"

Pleakley hung his head, dejected, and slowly walked out of the house. Nick and Lilo blinked, stupefied. Stitch, Angel and Heartwing poked their heads back in.

"Gone now?" Heartwing asked.

"Yes, is gone now." Jumba said. Nick stood up and crossed his arms. Lilo stood up and put her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you, Jumba!" Nick said angrily. "You kicked Pleakley out of the house?!?" Lilo exclaimed just as angrily. "SHAME!" They both yelled.

Jumba let out a "pfft". "Will be good for him…and for our eardrums. Now if you are excusing me, am going to work on flame thrower that shall destroy any accordion I come across. To work, to work…" And with that he walked off, heading for the lab. Nick "harrumphed".

"This is gonna end badly if something's not done." Lilo said. "Ih." Stitch agreed.

Meanwhile, at the park…

627 looked around. There were dozens of people there, all frolicking, having fun, etc, etc. Such happy faces!

It-made-him-sick.

He stuck his tongue out at some nearby pigeons that were nearby, hoping for some food. Then he began to play his accordion, which he'd brought along, and to sing.

"OH THE KISS FROM YOUR LIPS IS TOXIIIIICCC!" He screamed. The pigeons took off, squawking and screeching. 627 chortled. He looked around and saw that people were staring at him. Good, he had their attention! He began to play even worse than before, and screeched out a tune.

"TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU, NOW THAT I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU FOR SO LONG, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY OONNNNNNN!!!!"

A bird in a nearby tree dropped dead off the branches. A cat yowled and ran out into the street. A nearby car window shattered. People screamed and ran.

"WHEN ALL THAT I'VE BEEN LIVING FOR IS G-AAAWWWWWWWW-AAAHHHNNNNN!!!"

**Derr-da-derrrr!! **

A woman screeched and ran for her life. Babies in the park cried. 627 cackled.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha haaa! Man, I love doing this kinda stuff ! Wa-ha-haaaaa!"

Pleakley sighed. He walked up to the counter of the motel he'd found. "I'd like a room for one, please."

"How long?" The man had a gruff, New York kind of accent, and he was big and heavy set. He looked like he'd been a lumberjack. Pleakley blinked at the question, then looked down at the accordion he had in his left hand. "I don't know."

"We I gots a good deal goin' on right now. 7 nights for 35 bucks. It's cuz it's the holiday season and I'm a big softy, ya' know?"

"Right, right."

"Hey, wanna girl delivered to your room fer an extra ten?"

"Uh, no." Pleakley responded, shaking his head quickly. "No way."

"Okay, suit ya'self." The man behind the counter turned around and pulled a room key off of the board that was behind him. "Ya room's on the second floor, Room 22." Pleakley took the key and put it in his pocket. "Do I pay you now?" "Yep. Cash, please." Pleakley handed the man 35 dollars and then walked off, towards the stairs.

After finding his room and walking inside, Pleakley sighed. It was a simple, light yellow room with a window, a small TV on a desk, a decent-sized bed and a closet. He sat down on the bed with his accordion.

"Fine. If nobody at home will tolerate my accordion-playing, then I shall play here! I'll show them! I'll become a pro!"

He began to play.

**Durr da-da-da-da-derr, du-durr! Dur-da-doo-derr-do-da-durr! **

Someone below began banging on their roof, which meant they were banging on Pleakley's floor. "HEY! Keep it down up there!"

Pleakley groaned. He couldn't get a break.

And 627 continued to play in the park, annoying everyone around.

FIVE DAYS LATER…

Nani, Lilo, Stitch and Angel woke up to the sound of a bell ringing. The doorbell to be precise. Nani instantly hopped out of bed and put on her bathrobe, walking downstairs and to the door. She opened it up and her eyes widened. "Uh…can I help you?"

A fairly large crowd of angry motel-dwellers had gathered at her doorstep and driveway, all with torches and pitchforks.

"Are you the one who kicked W. Pleakley out of his house?" Mrs. Hasagawa asked. "Mrs. Hasagawa, you're in a MOB?" Lilo asked, with Stitch and Angel right behind. Heartwing snoozed on the couch, oblivious. Nick, hearing shouts outside the window, opened his eyes and walked downstairs with his pajamas on. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Mr. Pleakley is driving everyone NUTS!" Mr. Jameson growled. "He's been kicked out of three motels and one hotel, and do you want to know WHY?!?" "I have a feeling you're going to tell me." Nani said.

Moses spoke up now. "It's because SOMEOBODY kicked him out of his house and now he's annoying everyone in the motels and hotels…and all nearby…with his accordion playing! Now tell us who kicked him out of your house! Was it you?" "Uh, actually it was Jumba." Nick said.

Nani slapped her forehead. "Niiiick! Don't tell them that!" "Why not?" Nick asked, confused. The crowd roared. "Get Jumba out here now!"

"Am here, what is racket?" Jumba blinked his four eyes as he slowly walked towards the door, a mustache and glasses hastily put on. "What is going on here?" "You kicked Mr. Pleakley out of this house, and now he's annoyed all of us with his accordion playing! You'd better find a way to stop him, NOW!"

Jumba blinked, then chuckled. "Am three steps ahead of you. Have made flame thrower."

The crowd was silent. Then…

"WOOHOO!" "ALL RIGHT!" "HUZZAH!" "HIP-HIP-HOORAY!" They all started cheering.

Nani slapped her forehead again. "Ohhh…I'm staying out of this." She went back to bed. "Uh…Nick?" Lilo said, turning to Nick, who looked right back at her. "Yeah?" Lilo made a motion towards the crowd. "I think we'd better find Pleakley before they do." "Yeah, probably. Can I say it this time?" "Sure."

_"TO THE HOVERCAR!" _

MEANWHILE, IN TOWN, AT THE BEACH…

Gantu groaned. He and 625 had hoped to spend the day at the beach, just relaxing for a day, but unfortunately 627 had gotten there before they had…and he'd brought the accordion.

AND he was butchering a chord while singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time".

Gantu groaned and banged his head on the beach café table he, 625 and 627 were singing at. When he'd finished, he finally asked "627, can't you stop that dreadful accordion playing for just one hour?"

"Nope! I'm not stopping except for food or sleep or to toss insults at passersby!"

To prove his point, he yelled out "Hey! You! Fatty! Go put that ice cream away and go run a few laps around the beach!" The fat ice-cream-eating tourist sobbed and ran away crying, dropping his ice cream. 625 tried to ignore 627 and eat his ham sandwich, but unfortunately…

"Aw, heck with it! I can't believe I'm saying this…" He shoved the plate away. "But I've lost my appetite!"

**SFX: Dum-dum-DUMMM!!! **

Nick, who was also at the beach, looking for Pleakley stopped and looked at his watch. "What was THAT for?!?" Then he looked up and saw 625 and Gantu, looking angrily at 627, who was doing the WORST rendition of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" that Nick had ever heard.

And he saw the uneaten sandwich.

"Oh wow! His playing is so bad it spoiled 625's appetite? He's worse than Pleakley!" He walked over to them, hands pressed over his ears so that 627's singing and playing couldn't hurt his ears. "HI GUYS!" He shouted. "WHAT'S UP?"

Gantu and 625 looked at him with a long-suffering gaze. Nick understood. "Okay, hold on."

Nick walked over to 627. "HEY, COULD YOU STOP PLEASE?"

"MY LONELINESS…IS KILLING ME! AND IIII…I MUST CONFESS…I STILL BELIEEEEVE!"

That's was it. Nick quickly stuck his thumb into his mouth, sucked it for a moment, and then gave 627 a wet willie. Dropping the accordion, 627 yowled and fell onto the sand, growling and rolling around, furious and grossed out. Nick looked at 625. "Got a napkin? 627 doesn't clean his ears. I've got earwax all over my thumb." 625 handed him a napkin from the napkin dispenser that was on their table. "Here."

627 stood up, angry. "Whatcha do THAT for?" "You were ruining a sorta-okay song. I had to stop you."

627 "pffted". "Whatever! I do what I want, idiot! Nobody's gonna stop me from playing my accordion!"

"Someone will stop you." Nick said bravely. "I have to go find Pleakley, I can't stop you now, but somebody will stop you. And you better hope it's not me, because if it is…" "If it is, then what?" 627 asked, sneering. "You don't have the guts to do anything serious!"

Nick leaned in, REAL close, and said "I'll make you _eat_ that fracking accordion."

627 gulped. "Uh…I take that last comment, uh…back."

"Okay. See ya!" And with that cheery goodbye, Nick walked off. 627 gulped. "Geez! Uh…I think I'll go practice my accordion playing in the library." "I thought the library didn't allow loud…well, loud anything inside." "I know, that's why I'm going to the library."

Gantu and 625 groaned. 627 sniggered and walked off with his accordion. "He's going to get himself in so much trouble." Gantu told 625. "Whatever. He deserves a butt-kickin'. Anyway, I just hope that he don't get himself into TOO much trouble." "Oh, come on! What's the worst that could happen?"

THAT NIGHT…9'O CLOCK PM…

"Hey, remember when you said "What's the worst that could happen"?"

"Yes…"

"THIS could happen."

At the beach, a large bonfire was burning brightly, and in front of it was Keoni Jameson, decked out in war paint. His father stood proudly by him, also in war paint. He had no shirt on, and neither did his dad or anyone else in the crowd that had gathered, save for Nick and Lilo.

"People of Kauai! Those two troublemakers have been driving us nuts with their accordion-playing ALL WEEK!"

"YEAH!"

"They've been butchering every chord they play!"

"YEAH!"

"They've RUINED songs we love…that is…_used_ to love."

"YEAH!"

"They've broken windows, made us all physically sick, killed birds, cats and other small animals…all with their horrible accordion playing!"

"YEAH!"

"And their singing sucks too!" 625 called out from his table. Everyone turned to look at him.

Silence.

Then…

"_YEAH_!"

Keoni raised a torch that his father had given him. "So I say we hunt those accordion-playing troublemakers down and BURN THEIR ACCORDIONS!"

"YEAH!"

"The accordion dies tonight!" Someone in the crowd shouted. "Yeah! The accordion dies tonight!"

Soon the crowd picked up on the chant, working themselves into a frenzy. They slowly made their way into town, listening intently for bad singing and the sound of accordions.

Nick and Lilo watched as 625 and Gantu walked after the crowd, also chanting. Stitch rolled his eyes. "Uh…we'd better get home, fast." Nick said. "Where'd you park the hovercar?" Lilo asked. "We'd better get it home before Nani figures out we took it."

"Yeah, yeah." Nick muttered. "Because…" And the next bit of speech was imitating Nani in a whiny way, "I'm not old enough to driiiiive, I don't have my liiiicennnnnsssse…". Nick stuck his tongue out. "_Blah_! I'm GETTING my permit in the fall! Sheesh."

At Lilo's house, Pleakley solemnly played on the steps, a very sad rendition of "Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen". And in the hammock, 627 was swinging, playing the worst song that has ever been played on any radio.

"Ohhhh…I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie wooorrrrllld! Check my plastic…it's fantastic! You can brush my hair…"

Pleakley groaned and rubbed his sore head after putting his accordion down. He looked over at 627, addressing him. "Can't you stop playing that _horrible_ song? I'm feeling awful right now."

"I know, that's why I'm playing "Barbie Girl". Tell you what, I'll play "Milkshake" instead, how's that?"

"…you sick, twisted-oh, what are you even _doing_ here anyway?"

"Well I've annoyed everyone else." 627 said, putting his accordion down and stretching his arms out in the hammock. He then leisurely leaned back and put his hands behind his head, resting them on the palm of his left hand. "I decided to come here to annoy the Pelekais, and since you're the only one here, I'm playing to annoy only-"

"THE ACCORDION DIES TONIGHT!"

"Uh oh." Pleakley sat up, looking frightened. 627 casually looked down the driveway and blinked at what he saw was coming up, over to the house.

"Oh crap."

There was the accordion-lynching mob, with torches, pitchforks, and of course, at the head, Jumba, with a flamethrower strapped to his back. He had on goggles, no shirt, a brown belt and heavy, green boots. He grinned evilly at the thought of burning something, his evil genius persona eagerly awaiting the ensuing fiery destruction of the accordions.

"That accordion's gonna burn, baby! BURN!" Dude shouted, jumping up and down. He was wearing nothing but underpants and war paint. "Dude! Get your clothes back on! What do y'all think ya are, Mel Gibson or somethin'?" Dougie harshly whispered, dragging him away.

"Hand over your accordions right now!" Keoni Jameson shouted through a bullhorn. "And we mean NOW!"

"Fat chance!" 627 snarled. "No way!" Pleakley gasped, clinging his tight to his chest. Keoni sighed. "Fine…wanna play hardball? HEARTWING! Do it!"

Heartwing, who had been sneaking up on 627 from behind, suddenly rushed forward and smacked the hammock around and around, twisting 627 up in it as he screamed and growled. Then he picked up the accordion, holding it high before tossing it into the middle of the driveway. It landed with a mesh of notes and a thud.

Heartwing turned to Pleakley, eyes feral as he reached out with one hand, palm up, saying "Give it" with his eyes. Pleakley shook his head furiously. "No! You can't have it!" Heartwing suddenly jumped into the air, flying right at Pleakley and barreling into him. He wrenched the accordion free and tossed it next to 627's. Pleakley screamed and tried to go after it, but Heartwing held him still.

"Jumba…do it." Keoni said. "Is pleasure." Jumba said evilly, raising the nozzle of his flame thrower.

"TOXIC BULLET!"

A purple projectile suddenly bounced off of the ground right in front of Jumba, causing him and the crowd to instantly step back. Nick, Lilo and Stitch were on top of the house…along with the hovercar.

"Nani's gonna kill us for this."

"A small price to pay for freedom. Everyone…leave Pleakley's accordion ALONE."

"It must be burned! The accordion dies tonight…BOTH of them!" Keoni shouted.

"Yeah! They've annoyed everyone with their lousy accordion playing!"

"And that orange freak's singing SUCKS!"

"YEAH!"

Nick sighed. "Guys…you shouldn't burn it…because it's wrong to burn it."

Jumba blinked. "How is it wrong?"

Nick scratched the back of his head. "Well, it's kind of hard to explain but I'll try…we live in America. The country was founded by people who wanted to enjoy freedom, the freedom to do what they wanted without being harassed, right?"

People in the crowd grumbled, but they knew Nick was right.

"Well…we can't fault people for wanting to follow their dreams. It's their right, and their choice. Yeah, sometimes they're bad at it…" Pleakley looked down at the ground, ashamed.

"Sometimes they really ANNOY people with it." Nick glared at 627, who stuck his tongue out.

"But…we ALL do that sooner or later."

"Do what?" Lilo asked.

"Annoy or inconvenience people in the pursuit of our dreams! Mr. Jameson, didn't you tell me once that when you were young, you wanted to be a basketball player before you changed your mind in college?"

Mr. Jameson nodded. He understood where Nick was going. "And I was such a lousy shot I ended up breaking a lot of nearby windows."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, and Mrs. Hasagawa, you told me one time that when you were a little kid you knew you wanted to sell fruits and veggies, so you made your own garden?"

Mrs. Hasagawa nodded and adjusted her glasses. "Oh, yes dearie. But what does that have to do with…oh…"

Suddenly SHE got it. She looked nervously around and admitted the truth. "My dream was to sell produce, so I made my own garden…in someone else's backyard. That made my mother and my father so mad…and my neighbors…" She chuckled. "BOY were they angry! They had been planning to use that space for their OWN garden."

Jumba blinked. "I…I too made people upset and angry while pursuing dream of becoming successful prankster. Finally developed "Brown Note" that would cause those who heard it to go…and tested it many times on unsuspecting people, all in name of science and in name of my dream."

"I wrecked my mom's car when I was 12, because I wanted to be like Mario Andretti."

"I set my house on fire making a soufflé because I wanted to be a famous cook."

"I deliberately chased a cat up a tree just so I could get it back down, I…I wanted to be a fireman."

"I wanted to be an astronaut so I practiced doing stuff that astronauts did in their spacesuits one winter."

"EW!"

Keoni blinked. "And I organized a mob…not just because I wanted to burn an accordion or two, but because I wanted to be a leader of something."

Nick nodded. "Do you get it now? **Everyone** does things that might hurt or inconvenience or annoy others when they're pursuing their own dreams. You shouldn't stop people from trying to pursue their dreams. Yeah, sometimes people get hurt or annoyed in the process, but we can't fault the people who are pursuing those dangerous dreams. It's their right…their choice…their dream. And we shouldn't blame people for wanting to follow their dreams and doing all they can to make their dreams a reality. That's what the Founding Fathers founded our country on…the freedom to dream and make that dream a reality…right?"

People nodded, saying "yeah" and "that's right" and "uh-huh" as they looked at each other. Heartwing let Pleakley go and looked up at Nick, giving him a thumbs up. Jumba looked down at his flamethrower and tossed it to the ground. "Boy is absolutely right. Pleakley…if you want to be in a band as accordion player…will not like hearing you, but will let you do so. Is your right and choice. We don't have to like it…but we accept it. I accept it."

Pleakley beamed. "Re…really? Oh _mahalo_ plenty! Woohoo!" He jumped up and down, twirling around. "Yes-yes-yes!" He shouted. "My dream is saved!" He ran down the steps to get his accordion. 627 groaned as he slipped out of the hammock.

"Finally it's over…now can I go back to playing my accordion?" He asked as Pleakley walked back to the steps with his. Nick looked at 627 and shook his head. "Nope." He turned to Jumba. "You can burn that mother down."

**SFX: Record Scratch. **

Everyone stood stock still and looked at Nick. Nobody said anything for a few moments. Then Jumba spoke.

"Thought you were saying…"

"Like I said, people should pursue their dreams and we should let them do so because it's their choice and their right. But we SHOULDN'T let people pursue their dreams if their dreams involve deliberately hurting people, and if people pursue dreams and deliberately make their pursuits dangerous to harm others, then we should stop them from doing that dream as well. I mean, if a person's dream was to commit suicide by blowing themselves up with some dynamite in a bus, wouldn't you stop him? Or if a person knew that his…"

Nick looked down at 627, pointing an accusing finger. "…accordion playing would drive people nuts and he not only did it anyway but ENJOYED annoying them, that his journey, not some destination was the true goal…then we should stop that dream as well. 627, Pleakley's singing and playing drove us nuts, yeah, but he was honestly trying to get better so that he could be in a band. And you're just playing so that you can annoy people and make lives miserable. Therefore, it's okay for Jumba to burn your accordion, since all you're going to use it for is for evil. Go ahead, Jumba. It's your turn to bring the heat!"

Jumba picked the flamethrower up and grinned. "With PLEASURE."

627 gasped as Jumba fired the flamethrower up and drenched the accordion in fire. In a matter of seconds it had burnt to ash. 627 howled and ran over, banging his fists into the pile of ashes. "No-no-no! You stupid, idiotic, inferior pieces of blitznack! I'll…I'll…"

He suddenly extended his extra arms and advanced towards the crowd. "I'll kill you! All of you!" They all gasped.

Nick quickly turned to Stitch. "Hey Stitch, I've got an idea…"

Jumba held his flamethrower up. "Stand back, or you will be extra crispy!" 627 snorted. "Pfft. I'm fireproof." "But not Stitch-proof!" Lilo shouted.

Nick held up the curled Stitch, who had rolled into a ball. Then he jumped off the roof and onto the ground, landing deftly. Stitch rolled out his hands and towards 627, who stood there, looking at Nick and at Stitch. "What on Earth do you think you're doing?" He asked. Nick grinned. "Oh, a little something…just a little something that'll stop YOU."

627 cackled. "Wa-ha-ha! I'd like to see you TRY! You wanna piece of me, you gotta wait your turn!" He advanced towards the crowd…

"KIYAAAH!" Nick screamed. His body suddenly convulsed slightly with electricity, and he zoomed forward, impossible to see, all you saw was a shower of sparks and then…

ZA-BAM!

There he was, foot raised. And Stitch went flying through the air, whizzing at incredible speed, his entire body sparkling and sizzling with electrical energy. He collided with 627, who had his back turned, and 627 let out a wailing scream as the energy transferred from Stitch to him. He glowed suddenly, a bright yellow, and then…

BANG! In a shower of sparks, Stitch rolled away, untucking himself and standing there, smiling at what had been done. 627 now stood there, all blackened and covered in dust and soot from the electrical explosion that had resulted. He blinked twice, and then fell onto his back, smoke rising from his body.

"Ohhh…" He groaned, and passed out.

Stitch smiled broadly. "Stitch want piece of you. _Extra crispy_!"

"Now THAT'S a one-liner!" Nick said, giving Stitch the "rock-on" sign. Stitch returned it with the symbol for "sweet". "Maybe we should call that move "Electric Blue".

625 suddenly spoke up. "Okay, so that evil accordion's taken care of…" He counted the things that had happened on one of his hands. "Nick stopped the orange dummy from killing everyone and Pleakley is free to pursue his dream…wait…" He suddenly blinked and looked up at Pleakley. "He may be free to dream and stuff…but there's no WAY we can stand his singing and playing any more! He just plain sucks out loud!"

Pleakley looked hurt. "Well, gee, maybe I should just…just…get lessons! That's it! I'll take lessons!"

Nick slapped his forehead. "Duuuh! Why didn't I think of that before?" Lilo rubbed her chin. "You know, I think I know of an experiment that might be able to help Pleakley out…"

A WEEK LATER…

Everyone had gathered at the luau, where Pleakley and his band were supposed to be performing. Nick, Lilo, Stitch, Angel, Jumba, Nani and David were all in the front row. Behind them were Gantu, 561, 621 and 625. They were all waiting for the show.

Coming out from the covers the experiment known as Dan presented itself, bowing deeply. He had sort of "minty" green hair on his head, stomach and chest, as well as the same color green on the various markings on legs, and two slit-like markings on his arms. His arms ended in the same color, his hands also minty green. Even his eyelid was the same color green. The rest of his body was yellow, which reminded Nick of rich lemonade. His tail was green, save for a small band of yellow on it, and the tail ended in a violin bow, with a thick black string. He had thin, elongated ears, perfect for listening for pitch, and deep, sea-blue eyes. The hair on top of his head was in a fringe, covering the left side of his face.

Dan had been giving Pleakley lessons on how to play musical instruments. Although Dan was usually the best when it came to violin playing, he had learned how to play hundreds of other instruments from hundreds of planets many years ago. After all, his number was 080, he'd had plenty of time to learn and practice. And he'd been teaching Pleakley how to play the accordion properly, since he was such a wonderful teacher.

He stood up and smiled slightly. "Thank you all for coming." He said, his voice cultured and soft. "It is my great pleasure to introduce Mr. Pleakley, Keoni Jameson, Victoria Alyson Chase and my cousins Heartwing and 627."

The red curtains of the luau parted, revealing Pleakley, all dressed up in a tuxedo, as he stood there with that blue accordion. He smiled and waved with one hand. Keoni Jameson wore a purple t-shirt and dark green shorts, and had a guitar, Victoria had the Bass, Heartwing was on the piano, and 627…was on the drums.

"I have a new dream!" He said happily, tapping his drumsticks on the cymbals.

Pleakley looked around at the huge crowd and gulped. He turned to Dan, who moved the microphone closer to them. "Do you…think I am ready?"

Dan smiled. "I don't think you're ready."

Pleakley looked sad. "Well then, I guess I'll just-"

Dan raised a hand and smiled. "I KNOW you're ready."

Pleakley beamed and nodded. Dan smiled and walked off the stage. Pleakley turned to everyone.

"Okay, guys! Here we go! Heartwing, start us off!"

**BGM: Don't Look Back in Anger, by The Wurzels **

_Slip inside the eye of your mind, don't you know you might find…a better place to plaaay!  
You said that you'd never been, but all the things that you've seen…will slowly fade awaaay!_

_So I start a revolution from my bed…cuz you said the brains I had went to my head!  
Step outside, the summertime's in bloom… _

"That's nice!" Heartwing said.

_Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face! You ain't ever gonna burn my heart ouuut!_

Pleakley shouted out "Here we go! One, two three!"

_Soooo Sally can wait, she knows it's too late…as we're walking on by!  
Her sooouul slides awaay… _

_"But don't look back in anger!" I heard you say!_

_Take me to the place where you go, where nobody knows…if it's night or daaaay! _

_Please don't put your life in the hands, of a Rock 'n Roll band…who'll throw it all awaaay!  
_  
_Gonna start the revolution from my bed… 'cuz you said the brains I had went to my head!  
Step outside cuz summertime's in bloom… _

"That's nice!"

_Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face! You ain't ever gonna burn my heart ouut! _

Soooo Sally can wait, she knows it's too late…as we're walking on by!

Pleakley shouted out "YEAH, YEAH!" as they jammed.

_  
Her sooouul slides awaay… _

_"But don't look back in anger!" I heard you say! _

Now Pleakley really began to shine as he played the accordion. People began to clap and cheer. Nick started stomping his foot to the beat, and soon it caught on. Gantu nodded his head back and forth, 621 happily grinned, 625 gave 627 a thumbs up, and 561 titled his head, puzzled slightly.

Soooo Sally can wait, she knows it's too late…as we're walking on by!  
Her sooouul slides awaay…

_"But don't look back in anger!" I heard you say! _

"Hey, come on everybody!" Pleakley shouted. People began to sing along.

_Soooo Sally can wait, she knows it's too late…as we're walking on by!  
Her sooouul slides awaay… _

"Let me hear ya now!"

_Soooo Sally can wait, she knows it's too late…as we're walking on by! _

The song began to slow.

_  
Her sooouul slides awaay…_

_"But don't look back in anger!"... "But don't look back in anger!"... _

_I heard yooouuuu saaay!  
_  
"At least not today, my bally!" Pleakley said, chuckling.

(Music ends.)

Pleakley and the others bowed over and over again as people stood up and cheered. 621 put his fingers in his mouth, whistling. 625 bounded up and down, waving flags that read "Way To Go", Gantu beamed with pride, and 561 simply said "Hmm."

Nick whistled and cheered, as did Lilo. Stitch and Angel bounded up and down, singing "They did it, they did it" in Tantalog. Nani and David cheered and gave Pleakley big grins, and Jumba?

He directly looked at Pleakley, who looked up from one of his bows. The two were eye to eye. Then Jumba slowly extended his hand out, into a fist. And then…the thumb went up, and Jumba grinned.

"Wonderful! Simply amazing playing! Good job, Pleakley!" He exclaimed, and he began to clap the hardest. Pleakley felt tears of joy spring in his eye and he put his accordion down, wiping his eyes. He was so happy.

Dan, from the back, smiled.

"Well done, my pupil. Well done." He walked out and patted Pleakley on the back. "Come on, I will treat you to Chinese food and teach you how to catch a fly with chopsticks."

Meanwhile, from the very back…

Hamsterviel, hidden in a nearby tree sat on the branch, finding himself clapping. He tried to stop himself and fell out of the branch. Nobody noticed.

That night, it had been Pleakley's turn to shine.

And he had indeed shone, as bright as any sun.

**Author's Note: **

**I like the title of this chapter the most, besides the musical part at the end. If anyone knows what comic strip the phrase "The Accordion Dies Tonight" came from, say so in your review! And please review!**


	40. Christmas is All Around, Pt1

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

CHRISTMAS IS ALL AROUND, PT. 1

**Author's Note, and a brief warning:**

**This next segment of Season Three is called "Christmas is All Around", and it consists of three parts. However that's not why I'm warning you. I'm warning you because I'm doing this segment in the style of…a movie musical!**

**That's right. You know how "High School Musical" is a movie musical? This next segment is going to be in that style, and things are gonna get pretty melodramatic because it's a musical. There will be people spontaneously bursting into song and dance, and doing it in tune with each other! There will be things that may give you a warm fuzzy feeling, because it is a CHRISTMAS musical. If it is a VERY warm fuzzy feeling, find a doctor _FAST_. **

**So without further ado…let it begin!**

Camera zooms into a window on Nick, who's sleeping in his bed, nose whistling slightly. Snow is falling outside, courtesy of Slushy. Suddenly the camera pans over quickly to the radio, which turns on suddenly.

"Wuh-wuh-wake up buh-buh-boys and guh-girls! It's a frigid 31 degrees out there today, and you'd all better bundle up, huh Dude?"

" I've like…got…like, five layers on, dude. I think I mighta put on two sweaters or something…"

"Hey that's cool, that's cool. It's all good."

Nick turned around in bed.

_Just five more minutes… _

"Oh, and for those of you who just can't wait for what is both mine, and Dude's favorite holiday…"

"Hey man, did you know that a green day is a holiday you can have at-"

"Dude, don't, or my momma's gonna roll over in her grave, you got that?"

"Sorry, man."

"Anyhow…we got only ONE MORE DAY! One more day 'till Christmas Day, ya'heard?"

Nick's eyes widen. "One more day? Just one more day?!?"

He hops out of bed, pointing heroically out the window.

"Take heed, Christmas Eve Day! I'm a-coming!"

Camera shifts over to Lilo and Stitch, who are finishing up their breakfast, sugary cereal.

Oh, wait…that's not sugary cereal.

Nick walks downstairs, fully dressed, and sees them eating in the kitchen.

"What are you eating? That's not cereal, that's…"

Lilo shrugs. "We were out of cereal, so we chose the closest substitute."

Stitch holds up the sugar bowl and a cereal bowl.

"Wanna bowla sugah?"

Nick blinks. "I think the cereal might actually be sweeter."

"Don't be so picky. Put some chocolate syrup on it and you can't even really tell!"

Pleakley walks down the stairs, looking happy. He goes into the living room.

"Oh I had the most _fabulous_ dream last night! I dreamt I got a medal from the Grand Councilwoman herself for my courageous Earth-studying efforts. And then she took off her...

Jumba suddenly pushes past him, going to the fridge.

" Hmph. The words "Pleakley" and "Courageous" should not be in same sentence."

"Can't you be a bit nicer? It's Christmas, for Pete's sake. You silly goose!"

Nani walks downstairs and into the kitchen.

"So, do you want me to make you guys some hot chocolate?"

"I'd love some!"

"Okay, one order for Nick!"

Jumba snickers.

"It's Christmas, for Pete's sake". Hah-hah-hah! Christmas is so ridiculously commercial."

He opens up the fridge and sighs.

"Out of milk. Am going to store to get some."

Nick turns to Jumba.

"What did you mean. Christmas is commercial?"

"Stop fooling selves. Think about what I have been saying."

He walks over to the hall closet, getting out a thick jacket, a cap, mittens and boots. He puts them on, grumbling before he walks toward the door.

Pleakley rolls his eye. "Boy, he sure is a grouch, isn't he?"

Lilo stands up in her seat. "_You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!_"

Nick joins in. "You should appreciate Christmas a little bit more!"

* * *

Now the scene changes to Gantu's ship. 627 is lying on the floor, asleep, along with the rest of his cousins. Gantu is in his bed, snoring. 627 suddenly wakes up, and looks out of the window.

627 whispers. "It snowed last night."

He stands up, saying it louder.

"It snowed last night!"

He runs over to the ramp controls and presses the green button. It lowers, and the door is open. A blast of cold air sweeps through the ship, along with…

You guessed it…

"IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT!"

625 wakes up with a yelp. 561's eyes snap open. 621 groggily stands up.

" It snowed last night?"

"So Slushy made it snow, huh? Wow!"

"…"

Gantu groans and gets out of bed.

"It snowed? Aw, blitznack. That means…"

627 jumps outside, dancing around in the snow.

(Happy, light-hearted holiday music begins to play.)

He begins to sing.

_Ohhh…it… _

_It snowed last night, it snowed last night!_

_I can't believe it snowed last night!_

_The sky is blue, the ground is whiiiite…_

_It really, really snowed last night!_

Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-da-dooo!

625 walks outside, looking around.

"It…it really did!"

_Iiiiit snowed last night, it snowed last night! _

_Hot dang, it really snowed last night!_

_That sky's so blue, this ground so white!_

_Hey 561, it snowed last night!_

Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-da-dooo!

561 walks outside, looking around.

"Well, what do you know?"

_So it appears it snowed last night…_

_It actually did snow last night…_

_Such skies of blue with a ground so white…_

_Look 621…it snowed last night._

621 comes out, rubbing his eyes.

"It…it snowed all this? Oh wow! Oh wow!"

He begins to dance around in the snow.

_Ohhhhh…_

_It snowed last night!..._

_It snowed last night!..._

_I can't belieeeeve…_

_It snowed last night!..._

_The sky is bluuue…_

_The ground is whiiiiiite…_

_Yipee-kay-ay, it **snowed** last night!_

621, 625 and 627 all hold hands and dance around in a ring, while 561 heads back inside. Gantu comes out, with an ice pick.

"Woohoo! Yowza! All right!"

Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-dum! Da-da-da-da-dooo!

_It snowed last night, it snowed last night!_

_We can't believe it snowed last night!_

_The sky is blue, the ground is white…_

_Yipee-kay-ay, it snowed last night!_

_It snowed last night, it snowed last night!_

_It really, really snowed last night!_

_The sky is blue, the ground is white…_

_Yipee-kay-ay, it snowed last night!_

625 turns to Gantu.

" Hey blubber butt buddy, feel free to join in!"

Gantu, taking the ice pick, whacks away at ice that has gathered on his ship

"I can't believe it fricking snowed last night!!!"

Da-da-dum, dum!

(Music ends.)

621 smiles.

"This reminds me…I'd better send in my Christmas list…"

* * *

Camera cuts to the town park, where Lilo and Stitch are meeting Victoria, Keoni and Snooty. Snooty is making a snow bat in the snow, and Victoria and Keoni are having a snowball fight. Heartwing soon joins them, with Angel and Nick.

Lilo walks over to Victoria.

"Can we play?"

"We'd love you to join, Lilo!"

They start the snowball fight up again. Everyone lines up. Captains are chosen randomly, and they turn out to be Lilo and Keoni.

Lilo gets to go first, then Keoni. "I call Nick!"

"I call Victoria!"

"I've got Stitch!"

Victoria speaks up. "Snooty, come on over!"

" Angel, you're over here!"

"Heartwing, come on over!"

And so the teams are made. Everyone gets on their respective sides behind snowplow-made snow forts, and they arm themselves, making snowballs. Stitch is a natural, making dozens in seconds.

Nick has made LARGE snowballs. Or rather, snow BOWLING balls.

" Heh-heh…they'd better watch out…"

"They'd better not cry…"

" Better naga pout…"

"Tellin' them why…"

Nick sings out the next line. "Cuz Me and Stitch are gun-ing…them dooown!"

WHACK! A snowball hits Nick in the side of the head.

Heartwing turns red with embarrassment. "Sorry!"

Nick groans.

"Owie! What did you do to that thing, ice it up?"

Victoria shakes her head. "No, iceballs are forbidden! Come on! Bring the chill, Nick!"

"Okay., sister, you asked for this! Stitch! Angel! Is our rapid-firer squad ready?"

"Ih!"

"Lilo, you'll cover me while I launch THESE at them, right?"

He holds up one of the snow cannonballs.

"Of course, silly. Ready everyone?"

"YEAH!"

"Ih! Ready!"

Nick salutes them with his pointer and middle finger. "Time to spread some Christmas cheer, mothertruckas!"

"Stitch, you say it." Lilo says.

"AHTOOKI BA WABA!"

The team pokes their heads out from the relative safety of their fort only to find…

Victoria shouts. "KEONI, SQUEEZE AND FIRE! HEARTWING, DO IT!"

BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA!

KAPOWWWW!

Snow went flying to pieces; Nick's arsenal destroyed by a large snowball the size of a snowman's stomach. Stitch and Angel went down, snowballs rapid-fired from Snooty's mouth as Keoni squeezed him hitting them between the eyes. Nick ducked, and threw a ball with pinpoint…okay, pretty good accuracy. It struck Heartwing who went down, groaning. Lilo threw one which hit Keoni on the top of the head.

"Ooh, sorry!"

Keoni gave a thumbs up.

"I'm okay, really."

Soon, the snowball fight ends. Everyone leaves the park and walks down the street…then Lilo stops suddenly. Nick turns to her.

"Something wrong, Lilo?"

"That…that…that air…I can sense it! That smug air! It's Myrtle and her dumb posse!"

Sure enough, Myrtle and her posse are walking down the sidewalk towards them, talking.

"I'M gonna ask for all the candy I can get!"

" Yeah, me too!"

"Me three!"

"Me four!"

"Of course, cash is good too."

"I might want a pony."

"Tickets to Retro 4Ever's next concert for me."

"I'm gonna wish that the Red Sox win the pennant next year.

Lilo groans. "Geez, don't you girls have enough stuff at home, especially you Myrtle?"

Myrtle and the posse see Nick, Lilo, Stitch and the others.

Myrtle looks at Lilo like she's…well…you know.

"What do you mean, don't I have enough? You can _never_ have too much cool stuff!"

"Sometimes the best things don't come in nice packages. And it's the thought behind something that really counts when it comes to gifts…"

" Suuuuure. What planet did you say you were from again? Do they honestly believe that stuff back on it?"

"Stitch, you can spit acid on them if you want to." Lilo offers.

Stitch begins to build up an acidic loogie. The girls scream like the little girls they are and run down the sidewalk. Nick bursts out laughing, laughing so hard that he has to slap himself.

WHACK!

" Sorry about that. But…heh…it was so FUNNY!"

Nick walks down the street with the others and notices that Mr. Jameson is looking at a couple of men who were over by a clothing store. Nick also notices that Mr. Jameson looked very annoyed and angry.

" Merry Christmas, Keoni's dad! I mean, uh, Mr. Jameson!"

"Oh, how are you, Nick? Merry Christmas to you too."

" I'm cool, I'm cool. Is something bothering you?"

Mr. Jameson nodded slowly, and jabbed his thumb at the men, who were laughing.

"Well, it's THEIR type. They just…they just get me so mad, I can't help it!"

Lilo blinked. The others did too.

Nick didn't "get it". "Uh…who are "they"?"

"You know…homosexuals?"

Nick suddenly gets it. "Oh, gay people? What's wrong with them?"

"Gay people are just…just completely obsessed with sex and perverted, kinky stuff, it…it just drives me nuts."

"I guess I can understand that. I wouldn't know too much about sex, I kinda didn't do so hot in Health class…"

Lilo and the others began to walk off, leaving Nick with Mr. Jameson.

"All they can think about are penises…"

Nick blinks slowly. "Uh…what?

"And they are just OBSESSED with sex."

Nick was now weirded out. "Okay, uh…"

"Gay people can not just stop talking about sex!, sex, sex!"

"Uh, yeah, I uh…"

"They're always talking about different positions in the Kama Sutra, all they talk about is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex…"

"Yeah, um…er…"

"They just CANNOT keep their minds off of sex, one minute after another, it's just penisuses, oral sex, anal sex…"

Nick is mortified. "What the heck's **THAT** stuff?!?"

"I mean, gay people just NEVER stop talking about sex, all they do is jab on and on about how to sixty-"

"Okay, see you later, Mr. Jameson!"

Nick quickly walks off after his friends, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Hey Nick…" Lilo asks. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Well…hmm…"

* * *

Jumba walks down the street, grumbling. There are Christmas decorations everywhere, carolers, a man in a Santa suit standing by a Salvation Army bucket, jingling a bell. He gives the man five bucks and walks off. It's not the guy in the suit that annoys him. What annoys him is that the man happens to be in front of an electronics store. That store has eighteen televisions in its windows, all of them playing commercials for Christmas junk.

"Bah humbug. Christmas is just…just so commercial nowadays. Is making me sick to watch "Charlie Brown Christmas" when it is brought to me by Coca-Cola and Hershey's…"

He walks by a sporting goods store, when suddenly a man comes running out.

"Hey buddy, come on and check out the sweet deals I've got on sale!"

"Not interested, have to get back home with milk, before it is becoming ice cream."

"Come on, buddy! Sweet deals! Don't be a Scrooge, buy-buy-buy!"

"Getting lost! NOW!"

Jumba shoves him away, growling. The man walks off, rolling his eyes. Jumba curses in Galactic under his breath.

"Stupid commercialized holidays, stupid rotten salesman, stupid rotten lousy…"

He sees Myrtle Edmonds chatting it up with her friends.

"Not those stupid little brats and rotten spoiled red-head!"

"A pony is so passé. You should ask for a Ferrari."

"Really? You think? What do you want Myrtle?"

Nick and the others are walking along the other side of the street. Other people are also walking around them and Myrtle. 621, 627 and 625 have also walked into town, with Gantu and 561 walking behind them. Gantu's got his face in the newspaper, and he sits down on a bench, looking at gifts. 561 sits next to him, just watching the whole scene.

**BGM: My Christmas List, by Simple Plan**

(Music starts.)

The adults begin to dance around, twirling expertly. Camera pans over to Myrtle and her posse, while Jumba watches them angrily, slowly coming closer.

Myrtle begins to sing.

_Santa is coming tonight  
And I want a car, and I want a life,  
And I want a first class trip to…see Disney!_

Teresa speaks up. _I want a lifetime supply  
Of skittles & slurpees and Eskimo pies!_

Yuki is next. _I want a __DVD_

Elena speaks now. _A big screen TV!_

Now it's Jumba! _Why ask for things that you don't neeeeeeeeeeed?_

Myrtle and her posse all sing out.

_'Cuz now it's Chriiiistmaaaas, and we want everything!_

Myrtle sings. _IIII just can't waaaait!_

Then the posse resumes. _Chriiiistmaaaaas!_

That man from before suddenly skates by. _So don't stop spending!_

The posse continues. _We…want a million gifts, that's right…_

They all pull out pieces of paper, and rush to the mailman, who's stunned. They hold them up.

_Don't forget my Christmas list toniiiiiight!_

The mailman shrugs. _'Cuz now it's Chriiiistmaaaaas!_

Lilo sighs and looks at Nick, taking his hand. He takes hers, and they sing out together.

_Somebody take us away, or give us a time machine to take us straight to __midnight__…we'll be alllriiiiiiiight!_

Camera cuts to the experiments.

627 grins and makes squeezing motions with his hands. _I want a girl in my bed who knows what to do!_

621 shrugs. _A PlayStation 2!_

Gantu gets an inspiration and he points at the sky. _I want a shopping spree…in __New York__ Ciityyyy!_

Jumba rolls all of his eyes. _Why ask things for things you…do not neeeeeeeeeeed?_

Now the EXPERIMENTS sing! _'Cuz now it's Chriiiistmaaaas, and we want everything!_

Nick and Lilo sing. _We just can't waaaait!_

Gantu again! _Chriiiistmaaaaas! _

That annoying skating seller! _So don't stop spending!_

The experiments yet again! _We…want a million gifts, that's right…_

They all pull out pieces of paper, and rush to the mailman. They hold them up.

_Don't forget our Christmas lists toniiiiiiight!_

The mailman shrugs once more. '_Cuz now it's Chriiiistmaaaaas!_

Victoria and Keoni hold hands.

Victoria sings. _I_ _wish I could take this day…and make it last foreeeeveeeerrr!_

Now Keoni sings. _And no matter what I get toniiiight…_

Now both of them! _IIIIIII waaaaaaaant mooooooooooore!_

Carolers begin to sing.

_It's Christmas and I want everything, IIIII just can't waaaaiiiit!__  
It's Christmas and I want everything noooooo-oohwow-wooooow  
_  
Everyone begins dancing around in the street.

_Chriiiistmaaaaaas! And we want everything!_

_Weeee just can't waaaaiiiit!_

_Chriiiistmaaaas!_

_So don't stop spending!_

_We…want a million gifts, that's right!_

_And we can't wait 'til __midnight_

Everyone rushes to the mailman.

_Don't forget my Christmas list toniiight!_

_Cuz now it's Christmas!_

_(Can't wait for…)_

_Chriiistmaaas!_

(_Can't wait for…)_

_Chriiistmaaas! _

_(Can't wait for…)_

_Yeah now it's Chriiistmaaaas!_

(Music ends with everyone doing a big flourish in the middle of the street.)

Jumba scoffs, walking off.

"Christmas is all about the money now..."

Nick watches him walk off.

"Man, what's with him? Come on Lilo, Stitch, Heartwing, Angel. Let's head on home. I wanna ask Jumba something anyway…"

They walk after him. Camera pans up as snow falls down, down…a snowflake falls down onto the lens and all goes black.

END FIRST PART.


	41. Christmas is All Around, Pt2

**CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE**

CHRISTMAS IS ALL AROUND, PT. 2

All goes white. Then things focus…

On the volcano, where Hamsterviel is at the top, looking out at the town. He has a small bag by his feet.

"This sure is a wonderful little plan I've got. I can't believe I didn't think of it before."

He rubs his hands, cackling.

"Why bother with all of those experiments when I have 561, 621, 62-okay, maybe not 625, but 627 and 628…those four experiments could be cloned over and over and made into an invincible army!"

He holds his hands up to the sky, laughing madly.

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!! And now…to execute my wonderful little plan…"

He pulls out a whistle from the bag, a gold whistle. He blows it hard. No sound comes out…that HUMAN ears can hear.

(Scene cuts to the future, fifteen minutes into it, specifically.)

Gantu, 561, 621, 625 and 627 all walk up to the top of the volcano.

"The trogs heard your call." Gantu says obediently.

561 bows. "What would you ask of us, master Hamsterviel?"

" Now we shall put into plan my plan, my very, very **important** plan. It's very simple, and-"

Hamsterviel suddenly shivers.

"Oh, how the blitznack is it so cold up here?…anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Here."

He pulls out note cards for each of them.

"Read them." He commands.

They do. Gantu and 625 blink, followed by the other experiments.

"But…but sir!"

"We're not going to do any fighting?"

"This job is so-"

"You're JOKING!"

Hamsterviel frowns, annoyed. "No, I am not. This is important to me, and I do not want you failing. 625, Gantu, you two are to stay at the ship, and that is final!"

625 shrugs, and Gantu groans, hanging his head dejectedly.

"Okay, we'll head on back to the ship. Come on, big guy. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'll make you a sandwich…"

They walk off. Hamsterviel sneers.

"Now, then…"

He shivers again.

"Brrrrr! It is so very COLD! Go, go! Get your jobs done!"

The experiments nod, and run off in different directions, save for 561 who flies through the air. Hamsterviel shivers again and rubs his hands together, very cold.

"So cold…so very…_cold_…heat! Need heat!"

He runs down the hill with his bag, heading back to his hideout.

Meanwhile, at the house…

Nick walks into the living room to see Jumba channel-surfing. He walks over to him.

"Okay Jumba, what do you mean, Christmas is all about money? It's NOT."

Jumba laughs cynically.

"Are deluding yourself. Christmas is ALL about money and commercials and holiday sales."

Lilo and Stitch are mortified. "It is NOT!"

"IH!"

"Yeah, what's with you? How can you say something like that?...hey, are you uh…Jewish by any chance?"

"No. Atheistic."

"Then who put a bee in your undies?"

Jumba laughs nastily again, and points at the TV. Commercial for holiday junk.

"So? One ad, big whoo-"

Jumba flips through channels. Christmas ad upon ad is shown. Heartwing senses the sudden shift in emotion that's coming on, and he pulls Angel away. Nani frowns. She doesn't like where this conversation is heading.

"So there are a lot of Christmas ads on TV. Big whoop. Who gives a flying pig?"

Jumba walks upstairs.

"Holding on! Holding on for one moment!"

They wait. A few moments later a large stack of magazines are thrown down the stairs. They hit the floor with a SLAM. Lilo walks over and rifles through them. They're all Christmas junk catalogs, the whole lot of them.

"And this was all just for the past two days! Caused mailbox to tip over!"

Pleakley picks one up and looks it over. "You'd think these catalogs would sell more mailboxes."

"There's a nice-looking one with Rudolph right here…" Lilo says, pointing.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad…" Nick insists.

Jumba snorts derisively. "Christmas has gone all commercial! Is disgusting! You are celebrating holiday that is about nothing but sales! Why celebrate the birth of stupid madman who got crucified anyway?"

Nick freezes up. He suddenly feels very, VERY cold.

"What…did…you…say?"

"Is stupid enough to celebrate birth of madman, but then to turn birth of stupid crucified idiot into commercialized holiday is making me sick! Where is your God now, boy?"

Nick has had enough. Jumba just crossed the line.

Nick stomps forward and jabs his pointer finger into Jumba's gut over and over again. "**SHUT UP**! You don't understand _anything_ about Christianity _or_ Christmas, _fatso_!

Jumba raises an eyebrow. "Oh, you think I am wrong about Christmas getting too commercialized?"

"No shiv, Sherlock!!!"

" Man tried to pull me into sporting goods store, just go buy something from Holiday sale. Fifteen dozen catalogs in our mailbox. Ads upon ads on television, and to be topping off, look outside."

Nick walks over to the window with Lilo and Stitch. A large message has been sky-written over the island. It reads "COME 2 BIRDS OF PARADISE HOTEL, SUITES HALF OFF TONITE!"

Nick is silent. Lilo looks at him, as does Stitch.

"Nick…are you okay?"

She sees a single tear running down his cheek.

"You…you're ruining it all…you're wrong, you're all wrong, it's not like that…"

Nick suddenly runs out the door, tears flying from his eyes as he runs down the steps and down the driveway before anyone can stop him.

" NICK!" Both Lilo and Stitch cry out.

Nani gasps. Pleakley begins to panic.

" Oh, he'll freeze to death out there, or get buried in a snowdrift, or…or…"

Lilo turns to Jumba, furious.

"You made Nick CRY, Jumba! Look what you did!"

Jumba "harrumphs".

"Merely exposed him to truth. Is not crime."

"Go to your room, you've been a BAD mad scientist!"

"Little girl is not going to be making me…"

Stitch rushes over and lifts Jumba up.

"**Bad daddy**." He snarls.

"Deck his halls, Stitch!" Lilo shouts.

"Oh no oh no oh noooooo!!!" Jumba wails.

Camera cuts to Nick, who's sitting on a bench in town, shivering. He ignores the cold, not caring if he freezes.

"Can't buh-believe he's acting like that…fu-fu-frack him. Frack him to heck! Why should I care what that big jerk suh-says?"

He shivers violently, but says nothing to prove it bothers him.

"Idiot scientist…stupid idiot scientist…"

Camera cuts to Keoni and Victoria, who are outside Keoni's house. Little do they know, something is approaching the house…

"Hey Keoni, can I come in and have some hot chocolate?"

"Sure!...on one condition!"

"What's that? Clear the icicles off your roof with Snooty?"

"No…will you give me a kiss?"

Victoria puts her hands on her hips. "Keoni, are you trying to be a Casanova?"

Keoni blushes. "Well…"

"I LIKE it. Pucker up, buttercup…"

Suddenly…

**BGM: I Won't Be Home for Christmas, by Blink 182**

"Oh look! Carolers!"

Camera cuts to Carolers.

"Jingllle bells of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! 'Tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la!"

Camera cuts to Keoni's face.

_Outside the carolers start to sing,  
I can't describe the joy they bring…  
since joy is something they don't briiing meee!_

_My girlfriend is by my side,  
from the roof are hanging sickles of ice,  
their whiny voices get irritaaating…  
it's Christmas time again!_

"Fa-la-la-la-laaaa!"

"UGH!" Keoni groans.

_So I stand with a dead smile on my face,  
wondering how much of my time they'll waste…  
Oh god, I hate these Satan's helllpeers!_

_And then I guess I must've snapped,  
because I grabbed a baseball bat…  
And made them all run for shelllter!_

Everything goes black.

"What the?"

" RUN!"

"Keoni, what the heck are you…"

Now we see Keoni again. The carolers have scattered all around, and Victoria is shocked. Keoni hoists his bat onto his shoulder and sighs.

_It's Christmas time again,  
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand… all year!  
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer!_

He points the bat at the carolers.

_You people scare me…please stay away from my home!  
If you don't wanna get beat down…  
just leave the presents and then leave me alone!_

Suddenly one of them whips out a cell phone and makes a call. Keoni gulps, and we hear sirens. Then the scene cuts to Keoni in a cop car.

_Well I guess it's not cool to freak on Christmas Eve,  
cause the cops came and arrested me,  
they had an unfair advaaantaaage!_

"You have the right to remain silent!"

Camera cuts to Keoni, in a jail cell, with a big guy in back of him, a present in his meaty hands.

_And even though the jail didn't have a tree,  
Christmas came a bit early,  
'cause a guy named Bubba unwrapped my paaackaaage!_

"Hot d--n!"

It's a nice cell phone. Keoni sighs and goes to the barred windows of his cell.

_It's Christmas time again,  
it's time to be nice to the people you can't stand… all year!  
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer!_

_You people scare me…  
Please stay away from my home!  
If you don't wanna get beat down…  
Just leave the presents and then leave me alone!_

He sighs and looks out the window, holding tightly onto the bars and looking at the starry sky. Victoria, who's outside, walks down the street towards prison with Keoni's parents.

_I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas!  
I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas! _

Victoria looks at the prison and makes a wish upon a star.

"Please post his bail!"

_I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas!_ (Please post his bail!)

_I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas!_ (Please post his bail!)

_I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas!_ (Please post his bail!)

_I won't be hooome…  
I won't be home for Christmas!_

The scene cuts to Nick, who's sitting on the bench. Snow has fallen all around him and on top of him, so he's got a fireball in his hands to try and warm himself.

"Man, it's hard to bring the heat and then keep it brung…or brought…or whatever. But I don't care. Jumba's wrong. I'm gonna PROVE him wrong…oh, why bother? He won't listen. He's too arrogant, he doesn't even listen to my ideas on how to fix the computer, so he's probably not going to listen to my defense of Christmas."

Nick shivers, sighing unhappily.

"I need to talk to someone. Someone privately. Page is busy with church service, I don't want to go back to the house, so that means…"

He looks to his left.

NICK: Only one place to go…

He extinguishes the fireball in his hands by clapping and then walks off, heading for the deep forests of Hawaii…

Camera cuts to the Church, where Father Joe is giving a sermon.

"…and forgive us our sins…as we forgive those who sin against us. And lead us not into temptation…but deliver us from evil…for thine is the kingdom…and the power…and the glory forever. Amen."

"Amen." The churchgoers say.

Father Joe smiles and nods, and then raises his hands up. "And so may Page please lead us in the song "What Child is This" as we give thanks with our hearts unto God and his everlasting love."

Page, who is above in the balcony, across from Father Joe's stand, nods humbly. He is dressed in white robes and folds his hands together in front of himself. He closes his big, pond-colored, peaceful eyes and begins to sing with beautiful, amazing clarity and grace.

_What chiiiild is thiiis who laaaid to rest on Maaaarry's laaaap is sleeeee-eeeping? Whom Aaaaangels greeeet with annnthems sweeet, while shepherds waaaatch are keeeeeeping? _

_This, this is Christ the kiiiing, whom shepherds guarrrd and annnngels sing. Haste, haaaste to bring him lauuud, the babe, the sooooon of Marrrrrrryyyyy… _

At around this time, someone shouts out "HEY!" and everything stops. Someone's been trying to steal a golden bell from a back table in the church while everyone has their heads bowed in prayer or eyes closed in song.

Page looks down, mortified.

Father Joe is completely shocked.

And the guilty schumck just decides to run like heck. He runs out of the church, yelling "So long suckers!"…

And is run over by a car. _WHAM!_

Page looks out the window at the sight. The bell rolls down the road, back to the steps of the church. He floats down from the balcony and runs outside, getting the bell. Then he puts it on the back table where it had been. He looks up at Father Joe.

"Er, Father Joe…perhaps we should sing something more…uplifting in its praising spirit?"

"Um…good idea." Father Joe said. "How about "I Saw Three Ships?"

"Perfect! One, two, one two three four!"

_I saw three ships come sailing in,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
I saw three ships come sailing in,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_And wha__t_****_was in those ships all three?  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
And what was in those ships all three?  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_Our Saviour Christ and his lady**2**  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
Our Saviour Christ and his lady,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_Pray whither sailed those ships all three?  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
Pray whither sailed those ships all three?  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_Oh, they sailed into _ _Bethlehem__,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
Oh, they sailed into _ _Bethlehem__,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_And all the bells on earth shall ring,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
And all the bells on earth shall ring,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_And all the Angels in Heaven shall sing,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
And all the Angels in Heaven shall sing,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_And all the souls on earth shall sing,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
And all the souls on earth shall sing,  
On Christmas day in the morning. _

_Then let us all rejoice, amen,  
On Christmas day, on Christmas day,  
Then let us all rejoice, amen,  
On Christmas day in the morning! _

Everyone cheers and laughs. Father Joe smiles. "Ahh…smells like Christmas spirit. And now we begin the lighting of the advent candles and the Passing of the Peace…"

Camera cuts to the local grocery, where Nani is in line, at the back, behind five other people. The person in front she can't see, he's too short and the people in front are too tall. Then she hears his voice.

"This is so very beneath me. How much for all of this?"

"34 dollars, mu-mister dragon sir."

561 hands 40 bucks up to the cashier, who makes change. He hands the change to 561, who puts it in the little pouch he brought. Then he picks up the plastic bag of stuff he bought.

"Fare… WELL, human."

On that ominous note, 561 walks away, out the sliding doors of the grocery. Nani gulps.

"What on earth is HE up to?"

Camera quickly cuts to Jumba and Pleakley, who are shopping at the mall with Lilo and Stitch.

"What on Earth is HE up to?"

They have spotted 627 in a Store Santa's lap. 621 is right behind him, along with a long crowd of kids.

"And I want a car, and I want a night light, and I want a pony, and I want lots and lots of cotton candy, and I want a girlfriend who has huge-"

621 suddenly interrupts 627 for the sake of the children. "Tracts of land!"

"Ho-ho-ohkay! You got it! Now then, what would YOU like for Christmas, little boy?"

627 hops off, running off with a happy squeal. 621 hops into Santa's lap.

"I think I just want…a journal. I could really use one."

"Well, then…I'll get you a journal! Ho-ho-ho! Next please!"

Jumba gasps.

" Uh oh. Quick, let's get out of-"

621 notices that they're here and smiles coyly. Then he walks off. Lilo blinks.

"That's odd…how come he didn't attack us?"

"Probably does not want disposing of us here, would cause very big fuss…and mess.

"Is it anything like the "Not in front of the children" excuse?" Lilo asks.

"If you want it simply, yes."

"Let's just go get our shopping done!"

Camera cuts to the post office box. 561 walks inside, going up to the counter.

"Hello, are there any packages for a Dr. Habbitrale here?"

"Uh…you're a dragon."

"What brilliant powers of observation. Now are there any packages or not?"

"Hold on, hold on. Lemme check…"

He looks underneath the counter.

"How big are they?"

"One is the size of a DVD I believe, and the other package happens to be quite large."

"Here's that DVD…"

He puts a DVD-shaped package on the counter.

"I'll go get the other one. We had to put it in storage because it was so big."

He walks off. 561 sighs.

"How much longer _is_ this going to take?"

Camera then cuts to the mall, where Pleakley is shopping in the "Yankee Candle" store.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmm…oh look! Caramel Apple flavor, yum!"

Mr. Jameson, who is walking by, sees him shopping and scoffs.

"Man, people like him make me sick. All they think about is sex, sex, sex! And I'll bet he's not even celebrating Christmas like those idiots in the Middle East!"

Charlie suddenly pops up behind him.

"Hey, what's wrong with the Middle East?" He asks, slightly offended. "I have a pen pal in Baghdad!"

Mr. Jameson sighs. "Son…you need to understand something."

"What's that?"

Uh oh! He's singing!

_I heard there is no Christmas,  
In the silly _ _Middle East__...  
No Trees, no Snow, no Santa Claus,  
They have Different Religious beliefs..  
They Believe in Muhammad,  
And not in our _ _Holiday__...  
And so every December,  
I go to the _ _Middle East__ and say..._

Charlie suddenly has a bad feeling. He plugs his ears. And good thing, too!

_  
Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry Fkin' Christmas! _

_Put down that book 'The Koran'  
and hear some holiday wishes.  
In case you haven't noticed,  
It's Jesus' Birthday!  
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,  
And fkin' celebrate! _

Charlie frowned. "Jeez! Watch your mouth, mister!" Mr. Jameson is to busy dancing around, lost in his ranting song. __

There is no holiday season  
In India, I've heard...  
They don't hang up their stockings,  
and that is just absurd…  
They've never read a Christmas Story,  
They Don't know what Rudolph is about...  
And that's why in December,  
I'll go to _India__ and shout... _

A small crowd has gathered, and many of them are frowning…and of minority groups. __

Hey there Mr. Hinduist, Merry Fkin' Christmas  
Drink eggnog, and eat some beef  
and pass it to the Missus!  
In case you haven't noticed,  
It's Jesus's Birthday!  
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,  
And fkin' celebrate! 

Charlie runs for the nearest CVS in the mall.

_Now I heard that in _ _Japan__,  
Everyone just lives in sin..  
They pray to several gods,  
And put needles in their skin…  
On December twenty-fifth,  
all they do is eat a cake…  
and that is why I'll go to _ _Japan__,  
and walk around and say... _

Now the crowd is VERY large and very angry…and filled with Hindus, Muslims, Japanese, and People-Who-Don't-Like-Swearing-On-Christmas, also known as "Decent" people.__

Hey there Mr. Shintoist, Merry Fkin' Christmas  
God is gonna kick your ass You infidelic pagan scum! 

One of these "Infidelic pagan scum" draws a knife…

Meanwhile, Charlie's reached the CVS. "Hey mister!"

"Yeah?"

"The biggest bottle of painkillers you got andthe biggest bottle of iodine, the biggest kind of band-aids and bandages too! FAST!"

_  
In case you haven't noticed,  
There's festive things to do  
So lets all rejoice for Jesus!  
and Merry Fkin' Christmas to you!_

On Christmas Day, I travel 'round the world and say...  
Taoists, _Krishnas__, Buddists  
and all you atheists too… _

Woops! Now he's pissed off the atheists! And there's a TON of them in the mall as well!

_  
Merry Fkin' Christmas… to yooooouuuuu! _

By the time Charlie gets there, Mr. Jameson's in a sorry state.

Charlie looks nervously at the ground. "I uh…I tried to get big band-aids but they were out, so I got "Flintstone" band-aids. Is that okay?"

"My leggggs…"

Pleakley, inside the store, sees something at the end of the aisle.

"Oh my! Could it be? Yes! It is! It's Vanill-AAA!"

621 appears. Pleakley screams again.

"AAA! The little monster!"

621 rolls his eyes and takes a Vanilla candle, and then a cherry one. Pleakley blinks.

"Wait…you're not going to rip me to pieces or anything?"

"No, I'm just buying candles."

"Oh…okay. For what?"

The "little monster" walks off-screen, simply saying "It's a secret."

Camera cuts to electronics store, where Jumba is shopping.

"Let's see…connector cable, connector cable…where is that connector cable?"

He sees one on a table next to some video cameras.

Ah-ha! There we go…"

He walks over to it, then sees 627 approach. He yelps and hides under the bed.

"Don'tkillmedon'tkillmedon'tkillmedon'tkillme…"

627 walks up to the video cameras.

"Yeah, this one will do!"

He picks one and walks up to the cashier.

"Hey buddy, gimme this video camera!"

"600 bucks."

627's extra head pops out suddenly, grinning nastily.

"yOu sURe AbOuT ThAt?" The extra head asks.

The cashier is now sweating bullets. "Uh, but for you it's free! Have a merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, etc, etc…"

627 grins with both heads, and then walks out of the store. Several screams are heard.

"What?!? Never seen a guy with two heads before?!?"

Jumba blinks stupidly.

"What the?..."

He walks outside, after 627.

"Hey! Hey!"

627 turns around, annoyed.

627: WHAT? Oh, it's you. What do YOU want?

JUMBA: How come you are stealing camera?

627 speaks very slowly. "It's…"

The other head speaks. "A…"

Then both of them finish. "_Secret_!"

With that, he sticks his tongues out from both mouths, and then walks off. Jumba rubs his chin.

"Hmm…very interesting…"

MEANWHILE, AT THE POST OFFICE…

561 is STILL waiting.

"………I hate this."

Camera cuts to clock, which ticks and ticks. Then it cuts back to 561, who has had enough.

" That…is…it. IF MY PACKAGE ISN'T HERE IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS I AM GOING TO-"

"Here it is!"

561 blinks.

"Oh. Then I shall just take it."

"Just sign this form here for it."

561 signs it, then lifts the package up with his great strength.

"Fare…_well_."

The teen behind the counter sees how strong he is and faints. 561 rolls his eyes and walks out with the package, accidentally causing the wall around the front door to collapse when he brings the package outside.

BACK AT THE MALL…

Lilo, Stitch, Victoria and Keoni walk into a big store that's got the moniker "Big Bob's Weapons Emporium". There's only one guy on duty and he's near-sighted. He looks over at the kids.

"Uh, how old are you kids?" Big Bob asks.

The kids all say the same thing. "Eighteen!"

"Ditto!" Stitch says.

Big Bob scratches his head then shrugs. He looks at his watch.

"Oh, break time! Woohoo!"

He walks off for the back of the store. Then Stitch tugs at Lilo's muumuu, pointing at the display stand that he's left open.

" Cool, "Weapons of the World"!" Lilo remarks.

"Megah Bootifaaaa!" (Way Cool!) Stitch says, astonished.

Victoria hops up and down. "Toss me that curved sword, that uh…falchion!"

"Gimme that Bo Staff!" Keoni requests.

Lilo smiles and walks toward the display case. "I'm a katana kinda girl…Stitch, what do YOU want?"

"Big sword! Big sword!"

Lilo pulls out the sword, a claymore, from the display stand. She gives it to Stitch. Then she takes out the katana (sheathed of course) and tosses it to Victoria. Then she takes out the Bo staff and gives it to Keoni. Then she takes out the katana and gets down from the stand, walking over to everyone else.

"Man, I feel so cool holding this! In fact, I feel really different!" Lilo says.

"Yeah, I feel like a superhero! This must be what Nick feels like when he's kicking butt!" Victoria says, holding the falchion high.

"Hey, with this stuff now WE can fight evil!" Keoni realizes.

"Wait…reequa kudona!" (Wait…we need codenames!)

Lilo blinks, and thinks quickly. "Okay…uh…I know!"

She twirls the katana rapidly.

"With the power of righteousness coursing through this katana of Kurayami, I become the dark avenging vigilante known as…LILITH!"

Suddenly Lilo is encased in an all-black outfit, skimpy looking one at that. She's now a young woman, with long flowing hair, and a black ninja mask covering her lower face and a long red scarf. She has a golden earring and purple gloves and boots, as well as "wings" sprouting from her back.

Stitch grins. "Yeah! With powah of sword, Stitch now…Sir Booyah! Knighta old order!"

Stitch is suddenly encased in brilliant silver and golden armor, with a mighty sky blue plume sprouting from his helmet. He grins, and his armor clinks.

Victoria holds her weapon high. "With the Falchion of Freedom, I become…VICTORY! The guardian of freedom everywhere, standing for truth, justice, the American way…and role model for red heads everywhere!"

She now becomes a young woman with cropped hair and two golden earrings. She gains a headband, a white dress, boots and chest armor. Her headband is striped like the flag, and the chest armor is blue with stars on it.

Keoni twirls his bo staff rapidly. "And with this Staff of Jurai, I become…Kickbutto, master of the ancient arts of the bo staff, defeating evil wherever it rears it's ugly head, from castle dungeons or high mountaintops to the kitchen of aunt, who makes noxious fruitcakes!"

He's now dressed in purple robes, with long, flowing, wavy red hair, and a white tattoo that reads "Fire of Heaven" on his chest. He wears sandals with white socks and his has a scar on his cheek, cross-shaped. A few long strands of hair fall from his hair over his forehead.

Lilo nods. "Okay warriors! Let's go protect the world!

Suddenly, before they can leave the store…Myrtle and her posse show up. And THEY have weapons.

Myrtle holds up a scythe. "Well, well. Looks like there are TWO weapon stores in this mall."

Kickbutto blinks. "Wow, big mall. Small world though."

Lilith groans. "Great, how did YOU get weapons?"

Teresa grins. "The guy wouldn't let us buy them without our parents…"

"But we told him our parents were all dead." Yuki adds.

Elena snickers. "But he wasn't buying it. So Myrtle slipped an ex-lax into his hot cocoa. He's still stuck on the toilet!"

Lilith puts her hands on her hips. "You're so EVIL, Myrtle Edmonds!"

Myrtle has a VERY funny look in her eye. "I am not Myrtle anymore…"

She holds the staff high and closes her eyes. Suddenly she slams it to the ground. Now she and her friends are all young women. Myrtle is wearing a black hooded cloak, with an arcane symbol on her chest, but the hood is drawn back. She's wearing a black headband that reads "I Heart Death" on the top. Her little friends pull out their own weapons. Yuki has nunchucks, Elena has a lance and Teresa has tonfa.

"I am now…"

She grins wildly.

"Lady Death! Come, meet your fates!"

"Yeaaah! And we're the Death Squad!"

"Actually, I wanna be Princess Powerful…"

"Elena, shut iiiiit!"

Lilith readies herself into a battle position. "Very well, "Lady Death", let's do this thing! Come on, everyone!"

They all jump at each other! Insert the music!

Lilith jumps at Lady Death, swinging her sword. Lady Death blocks it with her scythe, and the two get into a very harsh pushing contest, trying to shove the other one down.

_Subarashii chinchin monooo…  
Kintama no kame aruuu!  
Sore no oto sarubobo…  
Iie! Ninja ga imasuuu! _

Sir Booyah holds his claymore high and rushes at Teresa, who shrieks and runs away, deeper into the store.

(I have a wonderful penis…  
And testicle hair!  
That's the sound of a _sarubobo_…  
No! It's the ninjas!)

Elena and Kickbutto circle each other, growling. Elena holds her lance high and a bolt of lightning shoots from it. Kickbutto blocks it with his bo staff and then points it at Elena, firing a blast of ice from it. She twirls her lance, dissipating the ice blast.

_Hey hey let's go kenka suru!  
Taisetsu na mono, protect my balls!  
Boku ga warui so let's fighting...  
Let's fighting love!  
Let's fighting love! _

Yuki does fancy spins and strikes with her nunchaku as she advances towards Victory. Victory holds her Falchion of Freedom forward and white stars shoot from it, hitting the ground all around Yuki, who jumps into the air, a brilliant aura flaring up as she dives at Victory, who jumps up to meet her.

(Hey hey let's go fight!  
The important thing is to protect my balls!  
I'm _bad_, so let's fighting...  
Let's fighting love!  
Let's fighting love!)

Stitch is still chasing Teresa, but suddenly he loses her in the gun section. He looks around, not seeing her. Then she surprises him by suddenly shoving her tonfa through the aisle, whacking him on the back of the head. He turns around, growling…then the whole aisle is pushed down on him. He groans horribly as he tries to shove the aisle off. Teresa runs away again…

_Kono uta chotto bakaaa…  
Wake ga wakaranaiii!  
Eigo ga mechakuchaaa…  
Daijobu! We do it all the time! _

Lilith shouts dramatically, and a wild purple aura flares up from her body. Lady Death shouts just as loudly, and a red aura flares up. They hover into the air, then rush at each other, auras clashing as sweat pours down each brow upon closer view. (Close ups on each face)

(This song is a little stupid…  
It's hard to make sense of!  
Its English is messed up…  
That's OK! We do it all the time!)

Then the camera pans out of the store to about a few dozen yards away from its entrance. Jumba and Pleakley are walking towards the store! Oh no, so are Ms. Edmonds and the mothers of Elena, Teresa and Yuki!

Worse still, the whole store is getting wrecked by the fighting…

_Hey hey let's go kenka suru!  
Taisetsu na mono, protect my balls!  
Boku ga warui so let's fighting...  
Let's fighting love!  
Let's fighting love!_

**"WHAT THE!?!" **

The view returns to normal. Lilo and her friends and Myrtle and her posse look nervously at their respective authority figures. Except for Stitch, who's just climbing out of the wrecked "Ammo Aisle", and Teresa, who's looking over at a magazine rack at a little piece called "Electronic Weapon Magazine, "For the Gamer Who Wants to Get Even".

"Cooooool…there's an ISBN number for a Trojan Horse Virus pack! Awesome!"

She looks up and sees her mother.

"Oops."

All goes black.

END PART 2.


	42. Christmas is All Around, Pt3

**CHAPTER FORTY**

CHRISTMAS IS ALL AROUND, PT. 3

Camera cuts to Gantu's ship, in the kitchen area. Gantu and 625 are wearing white aprons. Gantu's got a chef's hat on and is stirring a bowl. 625 is standing over a cookie sheet, making gingerbread cookies.

"Pass me the flour." Gantu said.

625 nodded, grinning. "You got it, buddy. Pass me the little red hearts."

A knock comes at the door. 625 blinks.

"Wonder who _that_ could be? I thought Santa came in through the _chimney_…"

625 walks to the door and opens it up. He's surprised by what he sees.

"NICK?"

"Cuh-cuh-can I come ih-ih-in please-uh?" Nick stuttered.

625 immediately nodded. "Sure, of course! Holy Crap kid, you look paler than Jumba did after his wife showed up at the lab for a surprise visit!"

"I'll ah-ask him ta-ta-ta tell me about it." Nick managed to get out.

Nick walks in and 625 shuts the door, going to the bedroom and bringing out a blanket. He tosses it to Nick, who wraps it around him and sits down on a chair.

"Kid, what the heck are you doing in here?" 625 asks.

Gantu groans.

"Why are you even HERE, child? In case you've forgotten we are enemies and-oh why not? It IS Christmas…then again, the doctor might not-"

625's voice is very firm. "He stays."

Gantu rolls his eyes.

"Fine, he stays, but he's not eating dinner here! We have a lot to do."

"I know that just as much as you. Now kid, tell us, what's up?"

Nick shivers.

"Hold on." 625 walks to the kitchen. "I'll make you some hot cocoa, okay?"

Camera cuts to 621 and 627, who have met in the food court after a late lunch at a Japanese bar and grill.

621 looks back, a look in his eye. "I didn't know you could DO that with a knife. Maybe I should get into cooking…run a restaurant perhaps. I've always been a good cook."

627 nods. "Yeah the gyoza were pretty nice, and I liked the rice…oh, almost forgot! I got the camera! Did you get the candles?"

621 holds up a bag. "Yes. Now we should go get our _other_ shopping done. And NO STEALING this time. Understand?

"Oh, fine…fine." 627 grumbles.

Camera cuts behind a nearby potted plant to Lilo and Stitch, who have been secretly following the experiments. The two turn to each other.

"They're up to something."

"Ih. Get 'em?"

Lilo shook her head. "Not yet. We gotta catch 'em in the act! Let's keep following them. I'll follow 621, you follow 627."

Nodding, the two take off in different directions. Lilo follows inconspicuously behind…or so she thinks.

When 621 ducks into the bathroom Lilo gets suspicious. She sneaks up to it…

Suddenly he bursts out from it and grabs her, pulling her in and keeping one hand on her mouth so she can't scream. He drags her to a stall and locks it, then hangs her up against the stall wall by her muumuu.

His voice is mockingly polite. "I won't mind if you just…hang around until I'm done." He sneers at her and then jumps over the stall door. Then he goes to the door of the bathroom, locking it.

"Now then…"

He walks back to Lilo grinning.

621 raises an eyebrow. "What DO we have here? You were following me for at least an hour. I can hear your thoughts, remember? I'm telepathic. You did pretty well in trying to keep physically quiet but your mind was humming the "James Bond" theme song…"

Lilo's cheeks turn red. "Uh…heh-heh…oops."

621 smiles cruelly. He takes his pointer claw and trails it up to her chin from her chest, making her shiver.

"Oops" indeed. Understand this, Lilo Pelekai. Nobody saw you come in. I can find a way to dispose of you and make it look like an accident. And it would certainly break my brother and my father's heart to see you dead, however…"

621 suddenly gets her down from the stall wall.

"It is Christmas. So I'm letting you go." He points at the door. "Now get out."

You don't need to tell HER twice. She runs away, right out the door. 621 then closes the stall door and sits on the toilet.

Camera goes black. No sounds are heard. Then…

"Hey, there's no toilet paper!"

Camera returns to normal and cuts to Nick, in Gantu's ship, while all three of them sip hot cocoa.

"So that's what Jumba said. Now do you see why I'm so mad?"

625 sighs.

"Kid, you gotta understan' somethin'."

Nick blinks. "What's that?"

"Jumba's had a bad life. A pretty awful life. He was teased and mocked throughout school, was constantly under pressure while in College and trying to get into E.G.U, had a terrible arraigned marriage…"

"Wait, he had an arraigned marriage?"

"Ask him about it. As I was saying, he had an arraigned marriage that was just awful, saw people die in front of him…and he told me once that he lost his best friend."

"So the wascally wabbit isn't his best friend?"

"I guess not. But the point is kid, that Jumba's cynical, and it's hard for him to believe the best in people, or in a holiday. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah I think I do. My brother's a cynic too."

"Jumba just needs some real proof that Christmas can be non-commercial. If you can give it to him he'll probably forget all about how he used to feel."

Nick nods. "Okay…I'll _give_ him a non-commercial Christmas. Thanks for talking with me guys. I feel a lot better."

Gantu stands up. "Oh, wait, before you go…"

Gantu walks over to the closet and opens it up, pulling out some packages. He walks over to Nick with them.

"Here, your family's uh…well, Christmas gifts. I bought them two weeks ago, and…um…I hope you enjoy them."

"Mine are in there too. Merry Christmas." 625 said.

Nick blinks.

"You got me…you got me gifts? Wow…I really…"

His eyes light up. BIG time. "WOW! THANKS! I…I don't have a gift for you guys…"

Gantu thinks.

"Hmm…I know. How about you make the roast we're having for dinner and we'll call it even?"

"Okay, sure! I can do that! I didn't take cooking in Middle School and I'm not taking Home Ec in Freshman year for nothing!"

"Just be careful, the oven dial's kinda loose…" 625 warns him.

Camera cuts to the mall, where 621 is sulkingly walking next to 627 and 561, who has met them out front.

627 grins. "Well, all the shopping's done! And I'm not telling you what I got you all! And no peeking in my mind, 621!

"Harrumph." 621 grumbles.

" What's with YOU?" 627 asks.

"There wasn't any toilet paper in my stall. Don't ask me anything else."

627's eyebrows go up. "Okay, okay. Hey 561, how'd YOU do?"

"The packages are all safely delivered to the doctor. And no, I did not get anybody any gifts…except that I'm letting this island live in peace for another day. That's my gift."

627 gulps, then shrugs.

"Good enough for me. Let's head on out!"

Jumba and Pleakley peek out from behind a mall shrub.

"This is going to be very interesting."

"Why'd you plant that mini-camera on that little monster again?"

"To see what they are up to! No doubt it is being nothing good."

Camera cuts ahead to the future, where 561, 621 and 627 are going into Gantu's ship. They see Nick bringing the roast out of the oven and putting it on a large table that's been set up in the main room.

"What is the BOY doing here?"

"This is my Christmas gift to all of you: I'm helping to make dinner! Have a seat, I've still got to put the turkey in."

621 blinks, then licks his lips.

"Mmm…turkey. Will it have giblets? On the side?"

"You bet! I'll leave as soon as the meal's all set, I gotta get back to Lilo's house."

621 nods. "Very well. OOH!" His eyes go wide. "Bathroom! _Bathroom_!" He sprints for the bathroom.

627 snickers. "Told him not to eat so many candy canes if he can't stomach them like ME!"

627 puts the presents over in the corner. Then he notices something.

"Hey…what's this that's in 625's stocking?"

"Oh, that's a Dreidel." Nick replies casually.

625 nods. "Yeah. I'm thinkin' of converting to Judaism…and I thought I'd start with learnin' all I could 'bout Hanukkah."

Nick shrugs. "Okay, fair enough I guess, it's your choice. But do you know how to PLAY Dreidel?"

Everyone looks at 625. "Well…no."

(Upbeat music begins to play. Begin the "Driedel, Drediel Dreidel BGM!)

Nick smiles. "Good thing I do! Now listen, playing with this little top called a "Dreidel" is a good way to show you how to celebrate Hanukkah. You spin it and see where it lands, and I think that you sing this song…let's see, how did it go? Oh yeah!

_I have a little Dreidel, I made it out of clay!  
And when it's dry and ready, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_  
Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

"Now you try it, 625! Just spin it with your fingers like this!" Nick spins it. It lands on the "Gimmel" side. 625 walks over and picks it up, fingering it. Then he spins it, singing the song.

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play!_

627 groans. "What the heck is so fun about this game?"

625 smiles. "Hey, it's kinda addicting. Hey, 627…. wanna try to give it a whirl?"

627 smirks. "Suuuuure!"

He picks it up in his claws and holds it in his palm.

_Here's a little dreidel,  
That's small and made of clay…  
But I'm not gonna play with it,  
'Cuz dreidel's friggin-_

"**Hey**! Shut your mouth, you orange pile of shiv! Watch what you say!" Nick yells.

627 tosses it to the ground. "Don't you know how lame Judaism is?"

"It is NOT." Nick said. "One of my best friends was Jewish!"

627 snickers. "Pssh. Don't you get it?"

"Get WHAT?"

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame! _

625, ignoring him, kept spinning the top and singing.

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

621 comes back from the bathroom. "Hey, what's going on? Oh, it's that Hanukkah thing."

627 rolls his eyes. "It's soooo amazing! You spin this thing on the ground and it goes round and round, I could watch it _all_ day."

621 blinks. "Well…lemme try…"

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

625 sings! _Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

627 groans.

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame!_

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame! _

Nick, who's read "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jewish Culture" finally speaks. "You know… that Dreidel is a time-honored tradition for the Hebrew people!"

627 rolls his eyes. "Yes we know, we know. But it's not THAT interesting…"

Nick grins. "Oh, but just wait…it gets better!"

"How?"

_Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..  
you'll finally knooow…how Jews will always win!  
Cuz when you leaaarn…to make the dreidel spin…  
you'll knooooow, the reason why they win! _

627 rolls his eyes. "Oh PLEASE…hey, stop spinning around!"

"No!" Nick exclaims, spinning around melodramatically.

"See what Jews do to people?!?" 627 growls.

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame! _

Gantu finally speaks up. "Um…can I join in?"

"Sure!" 625 says. "One, two, one two three four!"

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

"Everybody!" Nick yells.

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

_Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..  
you'll finally knooow…how Jews will always win!  
Cuz when you leaaarn…to make the dreidel spin…  
you'll know, the reason why they win! _

Gantu began singing.

_Michelle Branch…I love you… you're so hot…on that album - _

Everyone's looking at him.

"What?!?"

"The song is about DRIEDELS." Nick said, annoyed. "Though Michelle is a very nice-looking lady."

Gantu blushes. "Um…er…uh…"

_Ohhhhh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

_Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..  
you'll finally knooow…how Jews will always win!  
Cuz when you leaaarn…to make the dreidel spin…  
you'll know, the reason why they win! _

_Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews…that's why they're lame!  
Jews…play stupid games…  
Jews… that's why they're lame! _

"Dreidels are NOT stupid. Neither is Jewish culture!" Nick insists. 627 blows a raspberry. "What's so fun about spinning a top?" "Well, you can win stuff."

"…huh?"

"You can wing big bucks from Dreidel games. Or candy, or toys, or anything! Dreidel's often used as a way to bet things! It's not just a kid's toy, it's a Jewish gambling game!"

627 blinks. "I could win money from playing Dreidel?" "Yep. And if you're Jewish, you get presents for 8 days, at least one per day…"

Suddenly 627 bursts into song!

_The boy has really changed my mind, the Jews I will not bash…  
Since playing with a dreidel, it could earn me cold hard cash! _

621 rolls his eyes.

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

Nick shrugs. "Oh well. At least he's not singing anti-Semite stuff…"

_Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..  
you'll finally knooow…how Jews will always win!  
Cuz when you leaaarn…to make the dreidel spin…  
you'll know, the reason why they win! _

_The boy has really changed my mind, the Jews I will not bash…  
Since playing with a dreidel, it could earn me cold hard cash! _

_Ohhhhh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, with Dreidel I shall play! _

_I'll try to make it spin…  
It fell, I'll try again._

_Now when you learn, to make the dreidel spin..  
you'll finally knooow…how Jews will always win!  
Cuz when you leaaarn…to make the dreidel spin…  
you'll know, the reason why they win! _

_The boy has really changed my mind, the Jews I will not bash…  
Since playing with a dreidel, it could earn me cold hard cash! _

Nick is dancing around, completely lost in the song.

_Oh, Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of clay!  
And when you're dry and ready, with Dreeeiiiideeellll IIII shalllll plaaaaaay! _

(Music ends.) Nick ends with a big flourish. "Thank you, thank you! I'm here till Saturday! That's when Jews have to go home. Just kidding. I'm not Jewish."

627 suddenly blinks. "Hey, how come we don't…"

DING-DONG! The doorbell rings.

Meanwhile, at Lilo's house…Jumba, Pleakley, Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Victoria, Keoni, Heartwing and Angel are all watching what Jumba's mini camera has caught. He's got his receiver set up to the television and they're all watching as Nick helps with dinner. The doorbell rings, and Hamsterviel walks in.

"Surprise! Look what I have!" The rodent says.

Behind him is a very lovely looking Christmas tree. 621 beams. 627 claps his hands, whistling. 625 grins, and 561 rolls his eyes.

627 jumps up and down, ecstatic. "All right! Christmas tree, Christmas tree!"

Gantu looks it over.

"A very nice one to boot. Uh, how did you manage to find one?"

"I know some people who know some people who robbed some people." "Hammy" replies.

Nick blinks.

"Uh what?"

The alien chuckles. "I'm joking, it was a joke! This is my Christmas gift. I've been secretly raising it in my hideout. Anyway, come on, bring it in!"

They bring the tree in, and 621 and 627 proceed to decorate it.

"Da-da-da-da! Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!"

Nick grins, a joke coming to mind. "Ja, was a smash hit movie, ja?"

"Ja." Hamsterviel responds.

"Ja."

"Jaaa!"

"Ja!"

625 holds a hand up. "Okay, that's enough."

Jumba, over at Lilo's house, blinks.

"They are…celebrating? But…but they're…they shouldn't be…_how_?"

DING! The bell on the oven goes off.

"Oh, turkey's done! Roast is out, mashed potatoes, gravy, and now the turkey! 625, can you get the drinks and the cheese?"

"Three steps ahead of you, I even got the cutlery all set out."

Gantu beams proudly. "And I've got the salad (for the doctor of course) and the candles."

"Here you go!" Nick said. "One turkey, roasted to perfection!"

Nick puts the turkey down, and everyone gets into a seat.

"I WANT FOOD! I WANT FOOD!"

621 looks at 627 with a stern glance. "Now, now, that's enough 627. Prayer first."

Gantu blinks. "Um…who's going to do it?"

"**Not** me!" 561 growls.

"Uh, I'll do it." Nick offers.

They all look at him, then smile.

621 shrugs. "Why not? Go ahead. Pull up a seat."

Nick smiles and does so, sitting down.

"Okay, uh…everyone bow their heads and close their eyes, I guess."

They do so. Jumba, Lilo, Stitch and the others are amazed.

"Lord, we thank you for the bounty you have given the Earth, upon which we shall soon feast upon. We thank you for the intelligence to find this food, the strength to bring it home and the caring to prepare it. We thank you Lord, amen."

All the group, save for 561 say "Amen."

Silence. Then…

"Well, let's dig in! I guess just eating a little roast won't hurt. Unless you mind?"

Hamsterviel shakes his head. "No, by all means. Here's a slice. Oh, do you want milk, soda or wine?"

"I don't like wine and I forgot to bring a Lactaid pill with me, so I guess soda."

625 rattles off the sodas. "We got root beer, coke, sprite, ginger ale…"

"I'll take the root beer. So uh, Hamsterviel…how's the salad?"

Jumba and the others are astounded.

"They…they are not fighting with him, arguing…is miracle. Odds are simply…"

"That's Christmas for ya!" Lilo exclaims happily.

"Ih!" Stitch agrees.

"Well, we'd better get OUR dinner started."

"I think we can wait for Nick. He's already finished with the roast and is chugging the root beer. He must really want to see us."

Jumba is oddly silent. Then he smiles.

"I think I'll make dinner this time."

Pleakley holds up her hand. "Oh, no! Last time you made dinner, it exploded in the oven…oh, what the heck. So did MY roast, I guess I can't say I'm better at it then you…and we don't really have a roast or chicken since SOMEOBODY (Glares at Stitch) ate it."

"Was actually thinking of making pizza."

"Actually, some pizza sounds very nice right around now." David said.

Victoria raises her hand. "Yeah, can it be with extra cheese?"

"I think I saw some pork fried rice in the refrigerator!"

"And dumplings, yum!" Stitch exclaims, rubbing his stomach.

Camera cuts back to Nick, who's leaving.

"See you guys around, I guess. Uh, and…" He smiles good-naturedly. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, kid." 625 replied.

"Tell Lilo I said hi." 621 told him.

"Tell her I said hello as well." 561 added.

627 sighs." Well…you can tell my dumb cousin that I only KINDA hope he chokes on his Christmas dinner."

621 nods. "I second that."

"See you later." Gantu says.

Hamsterviel smiles in a chilling fashion. "Yes, you will definitely be seeing me later."

Nick shrugs, smiling a little.

"Okay. _Aloha_! And _Mele Kalikimaka _to all, and to all a good night!"

He walks out the door, down the ramp and back outside, heading for Lilo's house. He looks up at the sky, for the snow is no longer falling down intensely. The night sky is black, and though the snow flakes are large, they fall down gently, beautifully. It is a winter wonderland around him now. It's not even that cold. And stars twinkle above…

Nick smiles as he looks up at one that catches his eye, the star Polaris. A snowflake lands on his nose.

"Now THIS is what I call a merry Christmas."

**BGM: Christmas Is All Around Us, by Billy Mack**

As the wind gently blows, Nick walks back to Lilo's house, singing.

_I feel it in my fingers,  
I feel it in my toes!  
Christmas is all around me,  
and so the feeling grows!_

He looks up at the sky as snowflakes fall down gently, dancing all around him.

_It's written in the wind,  
It's everywhere I go,  
So if you really love Christmas,  
C'mon and let it snow! _

He walks through the forest and finds himself in the park. He looks around at the winter wonderland around him, then dances around in it.

_You know I love Christmas,  
I always will!  
My mind's made up…  
The way that I feel!  
There's no beginning,  
There'll be no end…  
Cuz on Christmas,  
You can depend! _

Camera cuts to Gantu's ship, where everyone's giving each other presents, save for 561. He doesn't have any, although everyone chipped in to get him a nice pillow. He grudgingly takes it and walks off.

_You gave your presents to me…  
And I gave mine…to you!  
I need Santa beside me…  
In everything I do! _

Nick looks up and is SURE he sees a sleigh flying by. He blinks and it's gone, but he can hear bells jingling still. He smiles and walks down the park path, heading into town.

_You know I love Christmas,  
I always will!  
My mind's made up…  
The way that I feel!  
There's no beginning,  
There'll be no end…  
Cuz on Christmas,  
You can depend! _

He walks along the sidewalk, seeing a man in a Santa suit by a Salvation Army bucket. He drops a fiver in and the man gives him a big smile. Nick continues walking down the sidewalk, soon coming to where the road cuts off to the left, and leads up to Lilo's house.

He hears sleigh bells again.

_  
Cuz on Christmas…  
You can depend!_

Nick smiles and looks up.

_It's written on the wind…  
It's everywhere I go! _

He turns and starts walking towards the driveway.

_So if you really love me…  
C'mon and let it shoooooo-oohhh-ooow!  
C'mon and let it shoooooooooow! _

He sees the house.

_So if you really love me…  
C'mon and let it… _

He walks up the driveway. His _ohana_ is standing in the doorway, waiting for him.

_  
If you really love me…  
C'mon and let it… _

Lilo waves. Nick grins and runs.

_Now if you really love me… _

They embrace, and then go inside with everyone else.

_  
__C'mon and let it shoooooo-oohhh-ooow! _

Snow falls gently down, and some time passes by. Moments later a sleigh touches down on the roof.

Everything goes dark. We hear the jingle of sleigh bells and a rousing "Ho-ho-ho".

Then the camera shows everyone standing in Lilo's driveway, experiments included. They all wave and cheer. Nick's wearing Santa's hat…his Christmas gift from the big guy himself.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!" Everyone shouts.

"And a very happy new year!" Nick says, giving the "Peace Out" sign with his hand.

"The End" appears on screen. Camera fades to black.

END.

**Author's Note:**

**And so it's done! The Christmas musical all finished! What did you think? Tell me, I really wanna know. I warned you all ahead of time that it was gonna be pretty melodramatic, but I hope I didn't go too overboard. In any case, now I'VE got a warm fuzzy feeling from completing it, heh-heh. **

**Moving right along, in the next chapter, just two days after Christmas, a terrible, dangerous dramatic turn results…and nothing will ever be the same on the island…for ANYONE. **

**Season Three, is about to end in a truly dramatic fashion! Stay tuned…and don't forget to review my work! Aloha for now! **


	43. The Wascally Wabbit Strikes Back!

**CHAPTER FORTY-ONE**

THE WASCALLY WABBIT STRIKES BACK!

It was December 27th, and it was no longer snowing. It was peaceful all throughout the island. No school for the kids, not much work for the adults. Yeah, things were looking peaceful.

Keyword: _looking_.

In reality, things were not so peaceful. The insidious, "wascally" evil doctor known as Hamsterviel had finally finished the device that would enable him to rule the world.

And nobody could stop him.

Of course, he couldn't get his machine running because of a very simple problem.

He was out of the wrong kind of batteries.

"Blitznack! I need double A and C cells, not triple As! This is so annoying. Now I have to go to that stupid store."

Hamsterviel grumbled and put on a heavy jacket, hoping he could disguise himself somehow. He got a fake mustache and beard out of his "disguise's box" in his closet and put on sneakers. Then he put a little beret (for fashion reasons) and headed out, leaving his secret hideway and going to town.

As it were, Gantu and the other experiments were also shopping, and it was driving Gantu insane. They wanted this, wanted that…

"Ooh! Cotton Candy Crunchies! We gotta have them!"

"Chocolate Syrup…the nectar of the GODS! Put it in, put it in!"

"I'M the one with the wallet and the cart and I will decide what goes INTO the cart and how much goes OUT of the wallet!"

"Might I suggest you buy yourself some earplugs?"

"Now THAT'S a suggestion I'll follow."

561 shrugged. "I need some myself anyway…627 drools in his sleep, 625 has night terrors and snores and 621 whistles out of his nose."

"I-"

"DO-"

"NOT!"

"Oh yes you do!" 561 insisted.

"Well you call out the boy's name in your sleep!" 621 said, voice slightly cryptic. 561 rolled his eyes...

But he didn't deny it.

Hamsterviel walked inside and saw them. "Oh, brother. What ELSE can go wrong today?" He grumbled underneath his breath.

"Can we get Bubble Gum Bits? I LOVE Bubble Gum Bits!"

"Please-please-pleeeaaase?"

"No Stitch, wider eyes and bigger pleading grin. Think "Bambi"."

"Please-please-pleeeeaaaase?"

"Yeah, that's it! THAT is how you imitate the Prince of the Forest."

"Nice title for a deer."

"I got it from Kingdom Hearts. Remind me to buy you guys a PS2."

Lilo hesistated, slightly unsure of what exactly she wanted to say. "By the way, Nick? I...I'm sorry I misplaced your Christmas gift." But Nick just shrugged and grinned. "All I want for Christmas is you. I don't need a lot of presents...to make my Christmas bright!" This got a giggle out of Lilo, and Nick hugged her.

"Nice try, guys. But I'm not buying you more sugary cereal."

"I suppose that answers my question." Hamsterviel thought. He walked up to the nearest checkout line and saw some double A batteries on the checkout shelves. He picked some out and put them on the purchasing belt.

"That'll be 4.20 sir." The young cashier said in a monotone voice.

"4.20? For two double A batteries?!? That has got to be the biggest rip-off-why, I never-if I wasn't in a hurry I'd…ARGH!"

Hamsterviel pulled out a fiver and tossed it in the air.

"Keep the stupid change!" He snarled, grabbing his batteries and leaving.

Lilo, Stitch and Nick all saw the meltdown. "Hmm." Lilo said. "We'd better go follow him." Nick nodded. "Good idea." "Ih!" Stitch agreed. "Bad mousey going down!"

They managed to convince Nani to let them go off on their own and headed after Hamsterviel, sneaking off. They were careful not to be seen or heard, and eventually they found themselves on a beaten path that led through the dense forests and towards a small clearing.

They watched as the doctor reached down, grabbing the handle to a hatch. He pulled. He opened it up and snuck down, closing it behind him.

Lilo turned to Stitch. "So he's got an underground hideout! Nice." "Hmph. Naga bootifa." "Well in any case, somebody better go get him. Lilo, Stitch…you guys go bring everyone here so we can finally catch him." "Good idea, Nick, just uh, don't let your guard down, I still haven't found your Christmas present that I lost." "Be…careful." Stitch said. Nick grinned again. "I will, and don't worry, I can wait for you to find it. But be sure you guys come on back now, y'hear?" Lilo kissed him on the cheek. "Bye!" She said, running off with Stitch. Nick gave them the peace sign, then snuck over to the hatch.

He opened it up slowly, and descended, listening carefully for Hamsterviel. And BOY did he hear Hamsterviel.

"Finally…it's all in place. The Time Board is completed. 628 is mine. I've read what Jumba wrote about him in his lab and taken the pictures of what he is designed to do. He'll be perfect…for eliminating that stupid girl and her dumb "oohana". Finally she'll be out of the way and I, Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, can rule the galaxy!"

Nick clenched his fist. So the doctor was going to try and use Experiment 628 to hurt his family? Not on HIS watch. But wait…he had the Time Board completed? So he HAD copied the blueprints, which implied that…

Hamsterviel was probably going to go back in time. He'd use 628 to eliminate Lilo. She'd never meet Stitch, who would still crash on Kauai. Who knows what would happen next? Hamsterviel would probably use 628 to control Stitch, then he'd take over Hawaii, then wait for Jumba and Pleakley to come running to capture Stitch. He'd catch Jumba and get his dirty paws on all the experiments that Jumba secretly had, and he'd use them for evil. He'd completely rule.

_I have to stop him. _

Nick concentrated. "Bring the heat." He whispered. A fireball sprouted to life in his hands. He was ready.

He jumped down with a "hi-yaaa" and prepared to fire his fireball right at the wascally wabbit-

BANG!

POINK!

Something shot him in the back. Nick felt something…something that STUNG in his back. He groaned and fell to the floor, dizzy.

Hamsterviel walked around the ladder, around Nick to face him. He looked down at the kid, sneering.

"I could hear you up there you now. These ears hear a lot. Besides, I saw the glow of your now-extinguished fireball. I guess your little magic tricks don't work when you can't focus, and since I just shot you with enough People-Eating-Puss-Monkey venom to take down even 626, I don't think you'll be going anywhere anytime soon."

"You've…got…time board and 628…won't let you…oh my _head_!"

"Yes I do have the Time Board, AND 628…as you _eloquently_ put it." Hamsterviel replied, mocking him. "I'll go back in time with 628. Then I'll use him to control 626 when HE arrives. Then when Jumba arrives, I'll capture him, take his experiments…and use them to take over the galaxy. But why stop there?"

Hamsterviel leaned in. "I'll do more than just take over the galaxy. Once I've got 626 and 628 I'll go to dear Lilo's house…"

Nick's eyes widened. "No." He said, voice breaking.

Hamsterviel leaned in closer. "I'll break down the door, and have 628 kill the older girl first…"

"No…" Nick was feeling very small and very sick all of a sudden.

Now the mad doctor was only an inch or two away from Nick's wide, teared-up eyes. "Then I'll finally have 628 kill that oh-so adorable little Hawaiian girl…"

"You wouldn't…"

"Why not? She's been nothing but a hindrance to me. And when Gantu comes to finish what Jumba started I'll kill him too, and then I'm going to make Jumba my slave! Oh, I've got it all planned out. It's going to be a VERY wonderful experience for me!"

Nick finally found some strength to shout. "You heartless monster! You evil, rotten sicko!"

"Flattery is going to get you nowhere. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my Time Board out. Then I'm going to activate…"

Jacques held up 628's blue capsule. "My little secret weapon here…and I'll have him kill your family when they arrive. I know they're coming back, I could hear them. I'll make sure you get to watch. Then I'll finally kill you myself, and then I will go back in time with 628 to kill the girl in the past. I'll get to kill her and her family TWICE! I feel so lucky!"

"Please, she's just a girl…just a little girl…"

"She's caused me far too much grief. She's going to be eliminated. But since you look so pitiful I'll do her a kindness and kill her myself. I will be far kinder in killing her than 628 will. According to Jumba's calculations he's even more evil than 561 or 627."

Nick started to cry. He couldn't move his body, couldn't hide his eyes, couldn't cover his face with his arm. All he could do was lie on the floor of Hamsterviel's hideout and cry. Hamsterviel laughed.

"You've lost. I've won. Now then, I'll just get my Time Board…"

Hamsterviel walked over to his bed. He pulled out a fairly large surfboard that had a computer and some kind of engine to it. He opened up a small panel on the computer and put in two double A batteries.

"Now then…for 628's activation…"

He put the panel back on. Nick wanted to get up and punch that stupid alien but he couldn't move…

He was going to just lie there until his family came and 628…

_NO!_

…

…

It was as if something…odd…had happened. He felt something go "on" inside him. Instinct or something took over. He suddenly found that he was pushing himself up, diving for the board. Hamsterviel turned and saw Nick grab it, eyes widening in shock…then narrowing in anger.

Hamsterviel leapt on Nick and whacked Nick on his ears, making Nick howl. "That HURT, you rotten…"

They were suddenly rolling around on the floor. Hamsterviel _bit_. Nick felt dizzy, he couldn't clear his head and get in a good hit…

He heard the hatch open. Heard his family. Called out. He and Hamsterviel rolled onto the Time Board. He was on top, suddenly very angry, slamming Hamsterviel's head onto the board.

"YOU-DIRTY-SICK-EVIL-JERK-I'M-GONNA-KILL-"

CLICK.

What the?

Nick and Hamsterviel looked to see what had happened.

Oops.

By whacking "Hammy's" head against the board so much, Nick had accidentally thrown a little red lever on the engine…

The lever that started the Time Board.

Nick looked up and saw Lilo and Stitch coming down. He looked back and saw a strange, multi-colored portal opening up.

He looked back at his family.

"Aw dang!" He said.

VOOMP!

Suddenly he and the rodent were traveling at the speed of light through a tunnel that looked like it had been made by someone high. Nick screamed. Hamsterviel screamed. They zoomed towards a white light…

Moments later they were zooming through the night air…towards a tree. Nick jumped off. Hamsterviel didn't. The Time Board collided with the tree, sticking into it like a thrown knife sticking into a target. Hamsterviel hit the tree with a nasty CRACK and then fell onto the Time Board and then rolled off onto the ground with a THUD.

Nick rubbed his slightly sore head, he'd hit the ground in a nasty way, but luckily his endurance ability and the old advice of "Roll when a fall tries to take it's toll" had saved him from any kind of actual injury.

He looked over at Hamsterviel, who was out cold.

"I should just leave you here to rot." Nick said angrily.

But Nick knew deep down that wouldn't be the right thing, so Nick walked over and lifted Hamsterviel off of the ground. He shook him gently.

"Hey…hey, Hamsterviel, you okay?"

…silence.

"I'd better find some water."

Nick listened around. Nothing. Then…

A stream! Over to the left! He ran over to it and scooped up some water in his hands, bringing it over to Hamsterviel, slowly dripping it onto his face.

"Hey Jacques, wakey wakey!" Nick said cheerfully.

Hamsterviel spluttered and coughed, and his eyes flew open. He rubbed his head. "Oww…what hit me?"

"Actually YOU hit that TREE, remember?"

"No, I don't…what are you?"

Nick blinked. "Huh?"

"Um, what exactly are you?"

"A human. Don't act dumb, Jacques."

"Huh? Human? Jacques?"

"Don't give me that amnesia stuff, I've seen dozens of movies you know. You're just pretending that you're not Jacques von Hamsterviel so that you can catch me off guard and-"

"Jacques? No-no-no. I'm Rupert. Rupert von Hamsterviel. Jacques is my brother."

Silence.

Then…

"Huuuuh…"

FWUMP.

The "fwump" sound you heard was Nick hitting the ground as he fainted.

**Author's Note:**

**Admit it! You NEVER saw that coming did you? Admit it, you had no idea I was going to do that. **

**And so ends Season Three with a dramatic turn! In Season Four Hamsterviel and Jumba's troubled and difficult past is revealed, Nick must save the future AND the final battle between the forces of good and evil in the Lilo and Stitch series is fought! But it's going to be a long, hard road…filled with twists and turns. **

**Forget what you think you know…the rules of the game just changed...**

**But because this fanfic right now is so very long, I'm dividing it up into two parts, starting now! Look for "Lilo and Stitch: Ohana" Volume Two coming soon! Aloha for now!**


	44. Singing Showdown!

**CHAPTER FORTY-TWO**

SINGING SHOWDOWN!

Ever heard the phrase "Life flashing before you eyes"? Well, as Nick was lying on the floor of the underground hideout of Hamsterviel, that's what happened. His life did indeed flash before his eyes, and one memory stood out in particular…an event…

When he'd really, so happily been glad to be a part of Lilo's household…

PRECISELY THREE DAYS AFTER THE INCIDENT WITH SPOOKY…

Nick woke up with a jolt. "AAA!" He screamed. It had been another bad dream. A very, VERY bad dream.

"What's wrong?" Lilo asked him. She woke up, rubbing her eyes. Stitch was also awake, and he looked at Nick for an answer. Nick gulped. "I…I keep having bad dreams…about…about him…"

"That thing in the cloak?"

"Yeah, "thing" is a good word…"

"Well, don't worry. You just need something else to get your mind off of it."

"Like what?"

"Something'll come up…I think." Lilo said.

And as it turned out, she was right. After breakfast, Nick, Lilo and Stitch went to the park with everyone, only to find…

"Look, it's finally happening!"

"What? Oh…_all right_!" Nick caught sight of the sign Lilo saw in the park. There was a huge sign that proclaimed the start of the karaoke contest that had been put off due to technical difficulties with the karaoke machine…and Spooky going nuts, of course.

"Ooh, ooh, lemme see, lemme see! It says…" Pleakley squinted. "We are allowed to enter four people to represent a household. Great! I wanna sing, I wanna-"

"Oh, no!" Jumba said. "JUMBA will sing."

Lilo gasped. "Wait…YOU…can SING?"

Jumba looked hurt. "COURSE Jumba can sing. In fact, happen to be quite good."

"Then I don't suppose you'd mind putting your money where your big, fat mouth is…father?"

They all whipped around. 621 was there, arms folded. So was Gantu, 625, 561, 627, and Hamsterviel himself.

"WE are entering as well." Hamsterviel told them contemptuously. "As you can see from the sign, the prize is…heh-heh…QUITE interesting."

Lilo looked it over again. "Ooh…the winning household wins a three-day trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida! All expenses paid!"

Nani's heart skipped a beat. "Did…did you just say…Disney World?"

"Yes. Ahh…you want to go there badly, don't you?" 561 realized. "I can read you like a book."

"Read THIS." Lilo said, sticking her tongue out.

625 snickered. "Spunky. Anyway, we're not here to fight. We're here to sing!"

"Ditto."

Victoria, Keoni, Page and Crystallene came up from behind them. "We're entering as a household as well." Victoria explained. Page and Crystallene had dressed up. Both were wearing sunglasses and pants. Crystallene had a baseball cap covering her head, and rings on her fingers. Page had a simple white t-shirt and jeans, but he also had a dark grey jacket that was keeping his wings hidden. Unless you knew exactly what they were, they looked pretty much like a pair of fairly normal kids.

"If we win, WE'RE going to Disney World." Victoria said. "Page and Crystallene said they'd be willing to do this and give THEIR seats on the plane to my Dad and Keoni's mom if we bring them back some souvenirs."

Page nodded. "Indeed. I always wanted a little poster signed by Mickey Mouse, to tell the truth…"

"Don't think you'll _win_."

"That voice…MYRTLE EDMONDS." Lilo spat, turning around quickly. Sure enough, there was Myrtle Edmonds and her posse. "If WE win, all of us are going…of course, my Mom will be supervising us."

"Of course. Because you alone in Disney World with your friends is like letting a dingo loose in maternity ward." Lilo grumbled.

"I heard that!" Myrtle spat. "You're just jealous, Weird-Lo. Me and my girls are going to win for sure! We've got a song picked out and everything that we'll all sing together!"

"You'll have to beat US first!" Victoria laughed.

"AND us! I'm REALLY good at singing this one song!" Lilo said, stomping her foot.

"Don't forget us!" 627 growled, grinning nastily.

Nick rubbed the back of his head. "Oh boy. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be messy?"

"You'd better not cheat." Lilo told Hamsterviel, who looked offended.

"What? You think I'd cheat?"

"_Yeaaaah_!" All of the good guys yelled at the same time.

Hamsterviel flinched. "I'm not going to do any shenanigans."

"Shenanigans?" Jumba exclaimed. "THAT is what you are calling actions? Shenanigans?"

"Yes." Hamsterviel said, giving them his best "Innocent" expression.

"Hey, I know a lot about shenanigans. I've done shenanigans." Lilo said. "Yeah, me too." Nick said. "OUR shenanigans are cheeky and fun!"

"And yours are so cruel and…_tragic_!" Pleakley exclaimed.

"Which makes them not really shenanigans…" Jumba thought out loud.

"I love shenanigans!" 625 laughed.

"I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says "shenanigans"!!!" Gantu snarled.

And so, about ten minutes later, they all signed up in groups. First up would be Jumba, singing for Lilo's household. Then would be Nick, then Myrtle and her posse.

The stage in the park was being watched by what seemed to be, and probably was, most of the townspeople. (Hey, what else were they gonna do? It was a slow kind of day, and this was interesting.) Jumba looked at all of them, then brushed his hair back.

"All right." He said. He looked at Charlie, who was in charge of the karaoke machine. (He'd volunteered) "Playing fourth song on second list, please." He requested.

Charlie nodded and started the music.

**BGM: White and Nerdy, by Weird Al Yancovic**

Jumba began to bump his hips to the music.

_They see me mowin'…my front lawn!  
I know they're all thinking I'm so white n'nerdy!_

_Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy?  
Look at me, I'm white n' nerdy!_

_  
I wanna roll with…the gangsters!  
But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy!_

_  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Really, really white n' nerdy!_

_First in my class here at M.I.T.  
Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND!  
MC Escher that's my favorite MC,  
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea!  
My rims never spin to the contrary…  
You'll find they're quite stationary!  
All of my action figures are cherry…  
Steven Hawking's in my library!_

_  
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out…  
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces!  
Yo I know Pi to a million places!  
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces!_

_  
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise…  
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days…  
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,  
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze!_

_  
There's no killer app I haven't run…  
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1…  
Do vector calculus just for fun…  
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun!_

_  
Happy days is my favorite theme song,  
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong!  
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on…  
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon!_

_They see me roll on…my Segway!  
I know in my heart they think I'm white n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy?  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
I'd like to roll with…the gangsters…  
Although it's apparent I'm too white n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?_

_I've been browsing, inspectin'…  
X-men comics you know I collect 'em!  
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em!  
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored…_

_  
Shopping online for deals on some writable media…  
I edit Wikipedia!  
I memorized Holy Grail really well…  
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL!?!_

_  
I got a business doing websites…  
When my friends need some code who-do-they-call?  
I do HTML for them all…  
Even made a homepage for my dawg!_

_  
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack…  
they were having a sale down at the GAP…  
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap  
POP POP! Hope no one sees me…gettin' freaky!_

_I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream…  
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!  
Only question I ever thought was hard…  
Was "do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"  
Spend every weekend at the renaissance fair…  
Got my name on my under wear!_

"Now THAT'S nerdy." Nick said out loud.

_They see me strollin'…they laughin'…  
And rollin' their eyes 'cuz I'm so white n' nerdy…  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy…  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy…  
All because I'm white n' nerdy…  
Holy cow, I'm white n' nerdy!_

_  
I wanna bowl with…the gangsters…  
but oh well it's obvious I'm white n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
I'm just too white n' nerdy…  
Look at me, I'm white n' nerdy_!

(Music ends.)

Everyone cheered. That had been a great rendition! Who knew Jumba could rap?

Jumba was sweating like a diseased yak, but he looked very happy. And oddly enough, Hamsterviel was looking at him with an expression of…well, pride!

"Not bad." He told Jumba in a lighter tone. Then he walked off. Jumba blinked a few times, first with his larger eyes, then with his smaller ones. Then he approached Nick.

"Good luck." He told him. Nick nodded.

"Uh…all right, all right." He said. "It's gonna be a tough act to follow."

He walked on the stage and bowed melodramatically. Then he turned to Charlie.

"Hey Charlie! I didn't know you knew how to do this!"

"Well, I got lotsa hobbies." Charlie said happily. "Which one?"

Nick thought about it. "Hmm…I know! The first one on the fourth list!"

**BGM: Accidentally in Love, by Counting Crows**

As the music began, Nick snapped his fingers to the beat. Then he turned and pointed right at Lilo. "This one's for you, Lilo!" He shouted. Lilo blushed.

Nick face the audience and took a deep breath, positioning himself just right. As the song played and he sang, he danced in tune to it.

_So she said "What's the problem baby?"…  
What's the problem? I don't know,   
Well…maybe I'm in love… (love)  
Think about it, every time I think about it…  
Can't stop thinking 'bout her!_

_How much longer will it take to cure this?  
Just to cure it cuz I can't ignore it if it's love…(love)  
Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love!_

_Come on, come on!  
Turn a little faster…  
Come on, come on!  
The world will follow after!  
Come on, come on!  
Because everybody's after loooooooovvveee…uooowooaahhh **loooooove**!_

_So I said I'm a snowball running!  
Running down into the spring that's coming, all this love!  
Melting under blue skies, belting out sunlight-shimmering love!_

_Well baby I surrender…  
To the strawberry ice cream  
never-ever end of all this love!  
Well I didn't mean to do it…  
But there's no escaping your love!  
_

He began dashing around the stage, jumping high and far, finally landing in front of Lilo, supercharged as he sang and sang!

_These lines of lightning  
Mean we're never alone,, never alone…no, on!  
_

He jumped back onto the stage and resumed the dancing and singing.

_Come on, Come on!  
Move a little closer …  
Come on, Come on!  
I want to hear you whisper!  
Come on, Come on…  
Settle down inside my loooooooove…ohhh, looooove!_

_Come on, come on…  
Jump a little higher!  
Come on, come on…  
If you feel a little lighter!  
Come on, come on!  
We're all once upon a time in looooooove…oohwoaaah looooove…ooohwoaaah looooove…_

_We're accidentally in looooove…  
Accidentally in loooooooove, accidentally in looooove…  
Accidentally in loooooooove, accidentally in looooove…_

He began clapping. Others joined in.

_Accidentally in loooooooove, accidentally in looooove…  
Accidentally in loooooooove, accidentally in looooove!_

_Accidentally!_

_I'm In Love, I'm in Love,  
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,  
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,  
Accidentally!_

_I'm In Love, I'm in Love,  
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,  
I'm in Love, I'm in Love,  
**Accidentally**!_

_Come on, come on…  
Spin a little tighter!  
Come on, come on…  
And the world's a little brighter!  
Come on, come on!  
Just get yourself inside her…_

_Love-love-love...I'm in **looove**!_

(Music ends)

Everyone went crazy. They cheered, standing up and giving him a standing ovation. "Niiiice!" 625 admitted. Nick walked off the stage as Myrtle and her posse took over. He looked over at Lilo and the others.

"Um…did I go over the top?"

_"__Totally_. But it worked well." Lilo told him.

"Yeah, really well." Pleakley said.

"Ih! Bootifa plenty!" Stitch told him.

Nick's face turned red with embarrassment. "Aw, shucks, guys…hmm. Wonder what Myrtle and her friends will sing?"

They soon found out…

**BGM: Wonderful, by Everclear**

_I closed my eyes when I got too sad,  
I thought thoughts that I know were bad…  
Closed my eyes and I counted to ten…  
Hoped it's over when I open them!_

_I want the things that I had before,  
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door…  
Now I wish I could count to ten…  
Make everything be wonderful again!_

_Hoped my mom and I hoped my dad,  
Would figure out why they get so mad!  
I heard them scream, I heard them fight…  
They said bad words that make me wanna cry!_

_Closed my eyes when I go to bed…  
And I'd…dream of angels who'd make me smile!  
I felt better when I heard them say:  
"Everything will be wonderful someday"…_

_Promises mean everything when you're little…  
And the worlds so-big!_

_(So big!)_

_  
I just don't understand how…  
She can smile with all those tears in her eyes  
And tell me "everything is wonderful now"!_

_(Na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na…Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!)_

_I go to school and I run and play…  
I tell the kids that it's all okay!  
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know…  
When the bell rings I just don't-wanna-go-home!_

_Go to my room and I close my eyes..  
I make believe that I have a new life!  
I don't believe you when you say…  
That everything will be wonderful someday!_

_Promises mean everything when you're little…  
And the world is so-big!_

_(So big!)_

_  
I just don't understand how…  
She can smile with all those tears in her eyes  
When you tell me "everything is wonderful now"!_

_(Na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na…Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!)_

Myrtle closed her eyes tight. Nick realized suddenly…

This…this was a like a catharsis for her…

_**No**!  
**No**, I don't wanna hear you tell me "everything is wonderful now"!  
**No**!  
**No**, I don't wanna hear you tell me "everything is wonderful now"!_

_I don't wanna hear you say  
That I will "understand someday"!_

_  
No! No! No! No!_

_  
I don't wanna hear you say  
"You both have grown in a different way"!_

_  
No! No! No! No!_

_  
I don't wanna meet your friends…  
And I don't wanna start over again!  
I just want my life to be the same,  
Just like it used-to-be!_

_  
Some days I hate everything…  
I hate everything…  
Everyone and everything!  
Please don't tell me "everything is wonderful now"…  
_

_(Na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na…Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!)  
_

_No-oh-ohh ! Please don't tell me everything is wonderful noooooowwwwwwwwwwwww! Now, now! _

_Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!_

_(Na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-naa-na, na, na-na-na-na-naa-na…Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!)_

_I don't wanna hear you tell me…_

_  
I dont wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful noooooowwwwww! No-oh-ohh! Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now!_

_Ooh yeah, yeah, everything is wonderful now…_

_Ooh, yeah everything is wonderful now…_

_Everything is wonderful now…_

(Music ends.)

Nobody said anything at first. Then, finally…

Clapping. From Lilo. Slow clapping, which was soon picked up by Nick and Stitch. Then everyone else began to clap. Myrtle brushed tears away and walked off the stage.

She was smiling.

"Happy you did so well?" Nick asked.

"No…just…I think I saw my dad out there." She said. "It was like one moment he was there under this tree, and then…"

Nick understood. Lilo also nodded. "Yeah, I…I know what you mean. He didn't want to miss you perform."

Next up were Crystallene and Page. They got on the stage and bowed respectfully, and then Page turned to Charlie.

"Could you pick the song I talked about earlier with you?"

"Sure thing!"

"Wait, you two know each other?" Nick asked.

Page nodded. "Be as innocent as doves but wise as serpents." He recited from the Bible. "Charlie and I are good friends. He often comes and helps with the gathering of blessings on Sunday."

"Wow. Charlie gets around." Nick thought out loud.

**BGM: Take A Ride, by Everlife**

_I don't blame Hollywood…I don't blame my neighborhood!  
Big is the bad, nobody has to be sad…pick our excuse or keep the one we had!  
No one wants a tragedy…only a re-me-dyyyyy!_

_All-I-wan-ted… _

_Was a second chance to live again!_

_All-I-need-ed…_

_Was to know that I can really see again!_

_  
Call me freak…call me a poser…  
You know I like to ride with the Holy Ghost!  
And do you wanna take a riiiiide, c'mon people step insiiiiide!_

_Bittersweet, sin treat…tastes great, but what a fate!  
If I do what I do cause I don't care about you…  
All I can be...no one will ever see!_

_  
No one wants a tragedy…only a remedy! _

_Only a remedy!_

_All-I-wan-ted… _

_Was a second chance to live again!_

_All-I-need-ed…_

_Was to know that I can really see again!_

_  
Call me freak…call me a poser…  
You know I like to ride with the Holy Ghost!  
And do you wanna take a riiiiide, c'mon people step insiiiiide!_

_Oh, take a ride, oh-oh, take a ride, oh-oh…  
Step inside, oh-oh…second chance to live agaaaaiiiin!_

_  
All I wanted...All I wanted….  
All I needed…All I needed…_

_  
Oh-oh!_

_All-I-wan-ted… _

_Was a second chance…yeah to live again!_

_All-I-need-ed…I need-to-know-to-see again!_

_  
Call me freak…call me a poser…  
I'm gonna ride with the Holy Ghost!  
And do you wanna take a riiiiide, do you wanna…_

_Do you wanna take a ride?_

_Yeaaaaaaaah,_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah…  
Oh yeeaaaah..._

_  
I wanna take-I wanna take a **ride**!_

(Music ends.)

Page and Crystallene bowed. People whistled and cheered as they walked off the stage. "Wow. You guys got great rhythm together." Lilo complimented.

Crystallene kissed on the cheek. The little winged experiment blushed. "It…it was nothing, really!" He insisted, turning beet red.

"Bravo, cousin. Bravo."

561 was behind them, clapping slowly. "Not a bad little performance at all. Commendable indeed. But, uh, I do believe that you are about to be, as they say…**owned**."

621 and 627 walked on the stage. They had costumes on to disguise their appearance too. Using holographic projectors, they had disguised themselves. They now looked like kids. 627 a backwards baseball cap, black gloves, a red football jersey and a scar on his cheek, for "toughness". He also had a gold ring on his finger. 621 had on dark sunglasses, a black leather jacket and a single black armband on his arm.

"You sure you wanna do this?" 621 asked 627, who nodded. "Together or not at all. That's what I said, and I meant it! Let's teach these humans what it REALLY means to sing!" He turned to Charlie, snapping. "Alright! The sixth song on the fifth list!"

Charlie nodded cheerily and turned the music on.

**BGM: I Found A Way, by Drake Bell**

_I never thought that it'd be so simple but…I found a way, I found a waa-aaay!_

_I always thought it'd be too crazy but…I found a way, I found a waa-aaay!  
If you open up your miiiiiind…see what's inside!  
_

_It's gonna take some time to realiiiiize!_

_But if you loooook inside, I'm suuure you'll fiiiiiiiiind…_

_Over your shoulder, you know that I told you…_

"_I'll always be pickin' you up when you're dooowwwn!"_

_So just turn arrrooooouuuund!_

_Now that I know that anything's possible…I found a way, I found a waa-aaay!  
No one can break what's so unbreakable…I found a way, I found a waa-aaay!_

_If you open up your miiiiind…see what's inside!_

_It's gonna take some time to realiiiiize!_

_But if you loooook inside, I'm suuure you'll fiiiiiiiiind…_

_Over your shoulder, you know that I told you…_

"_I'll always be pickin' you up when you're dooowwwn!"_

_So just turn arrrooooouuuund!_

621 grinned and stepped forward, posing.

_No one cares…what you give…you know ya gotta-_

627 now stepped forward, singing out a line.

_Live like ya wanna live!  
_

621 stepped forward again!

_When it's time…to be free…know that you gotta_…

627 one more time!

_Be what you wanna be!  
_

_If you open up your miiiiiind…see what's inside!  
_

_It's gonna take some time to realiiiiize!_

_But if you loooook inside, I'm suuure you'll fiiiiiiiiind…_

_Over your shoulder, you know that I told you…_

"_I'll always be pickin' you up when you're dooowwwn!"_

_So just turn arrrooooouuuund!_

_Oooooh, ooooh-wooooh-oooooh!  
_

(Music ends.)

621 and 627 got back to back and raised up their fists in a pose, 621 the left and 627 the right as they looked right at the audience.

A few moments later, said audience cheered and whooped. They were very impressed.

The two of them walked off the stage. "Beat THAT." 627 sneered at Victoria and Keoni, who were next. 561 let a small smile slip onto his lips, and then he made a quick kissy-lips at Lilo before walking off.

Nick rubbed the back of his head. "I hate to admit it…but…well…that was pretty dang good…"

Victoria and Keoni walked on stage. They bowed and looked at each other. "Ready?" Keoni asked. "Ready." She said. "Charlie, the first song on the third list."

**BGM: Who Says You Can't Go Home, by Bon Jovi (Featuring Jennifer Nettles)**

_I spent 20 years trying to get out of this place…  
I was looking for something I couldn't replace…  
I was running away from the only thing I've ever knooooown!_

_  
Like a blind dog without a bone…  
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone…  
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gooooold!_

_  
I been there, done that and I ain't lookin' back on the seeds I've sown,  
Saving dimes, spending too much time on the telephooooone!  
Who says you can't go home?_

_Who says you can't go home?  
There's only one place they call me one of their own!  
Just a hometown boy, born a rolling stooooone… _

_Who says you can't go home?_

_  
Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact…  
There's only one place left I want to gooooo…_

_Who says you can't go home?_

_  
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright!_

_I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face…  
There isn't one of these lines that I would erase…  
I lived a million miles of memories on that roooaaaaad!_

_  
With every step I take I know that I'm not alone,  
You take the home from the boy, but not the boy from his home!  
These are my streets, the only life I've ever knoooown…  
Who says you can't go home?_

_Who says you can't go home?  
There's only one place they call me one of their own!  
Just a hometown boy, born a rolling stoooooone…_

_Who says you can't go home?_

_  
Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact…  
There's only one place left I want to gooooo! Who says you can't go home?_

_It doesn't matter where you are…_

_It doesn't matter where you gooo!_

_  
If it's a million miles away or just a mile up the road!_

_  
Take it in…take it with you when you goooooo…_

_  
Who says you can't go home?_

_Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact…  
There's only one place left I want to gooooo…_

_Who says you can't go home?_

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright…  
Who says you can't go home?_

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright…  
Who says you can't go home?_

_It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright…_

_  
Who says you can't go home?_

(Music ends.)

"Now THAT'S rocking!" Nick shouted, jumping in the air and cheering along with the crowd, who were obviously impressed. All of the performances were great! How could anyone hope to top them?

Well, as it were…

"Lilo, you're up now."

Lilo nodded. She turned around and beamed at the others. "Now watch…and learn."

She strode onto the stage. She turned to Charlie. "Play the song that's on the seventh list." She told him. Charlie beamed. "_That_ song? All right! You go, girl!...I heard that somewhere."

Lilo glanced off stage to Nick. "This one's for my _boyfriend_! One, two, three, four!"

**BGM: I Got Nerve, by Hannah Montana**

_We haven't met…and that's OK…'cuz you will be askin' for me one day!  
Don't wanna wait…in line! The moment is mine, believe me!_

_Don't close…your eyes…'cuz it's a chance worth takin'! _

_And I think that I can shake you!_

_I know where I stand, I know who I am! _

_I would never run away when life gets bad!  
It's everything I see, every part of me…_

_Gonna get what I deseeerrrrve!  
I got nerve!_

_  
I got, I got, I got…_

_Electrified…I'm on a wire!  
We're gettin' together, and we're on fire!  
What I said…you heard! Now I got you spinnin'!_

_Don't close…your mind…the words I use are open!  
And I think that I can show you…  
_

_I know where I stand, I know who I am! _

_I would never run away when life gets bad!  
It's everything I see, every part of me…_

_I know I can change the world, yeah yeah yeah!_

_  
I know what ya like, I know what ya think!  
Not afraid to stare you down until you blink!  
It's everything I see, every part of me…  
Gonna get what I deseeeerrrrve!  
I got nerve!_

_You…_

_You…you…_

_You need to discoooveerrr…_

_Whoooo can make you feel freeee!_

_And I…_

_I…I…I need to uncoooooveeerrr…_

_The part of you that's reaching out for me, hey-yeaaaaah!_

_I know where I stand, I know who I am…_

_I would never run away when life gets bad…_

_It's everything I see, every part of me…_

_I know I can change the world, yeah yeah yeah!_

_  
I know what ya like, I know what ya think!  
Not afraid to stare you down until you blink!  
It's everything I see, every part of me…  
Gonna get what I deseeeerrrrve!  
I got nerve!_

_I'm what you waaaaant…I'm what you neeeeeed…_

_I got nerve!_

_I'm what you waaaaant…I'm what you neeeeeed…_

_I know what ya like, I know what ya think!  
Not afraid to stare you down until you blink!  
It's everything I see, every part of me…_

_  
Gonna get what I deseeeerrrrve…_

_I goooot…_

_  
I got **nerve**!_

(Music ends.)

Nick gaped. "Oh…my…God…that was amazing!"

The crowd burst into applause, even giving her a standing ovation, cheering and whooping and hollering. The judges looked like they'd made their decision. Their representative got onto the stage and raised Lilo's hand up. "The winner!" He shouted. Everyone cheered happily, especially Lilo's ohana.

Myrtle "harrumphed" but deep down, she had been impressed by Lilo's performance. Others however…

"No fair no fair no faaaaiiiir!" 627 whined, banging his fists as he lay on his stomach, bawling like a baby. 561 was muttering very cruel ideas on what he wanted to do to Lilo once she was his and 621 just brushed his Mohawk back.

Hamsterviel's whiskers twitched. "I…am…irked." He growled. Stitch stuck his tongue out. "Ha-ha!" He laughed. Hamsterviel raised his hand. "Let us be going." He snapped, and the bad guys walked off. Nick ran up on stage and hugged Lilo, twirling her around in the air. "You did it, you did it!" He shouted.

"Hey…I told you I had this one song I was really good at!" Lilo said. The representative shook her hand. "Congratulations. Your registered household won the contest. You'll be notified of the details of your prize in a few weeks."

Nick grinned. "Wow, we're going to Disney World! And for once, nothing bad has happened when we tried to go up against the bad guys…"

Jumba rubbed his chin. "Indeed…am feeling family is being set up somehow…"

"Aw, relax." Nick said, dismissing Jumba's fears in a gesture. "I'm a **_superhero_**. What could happen?"

What could happen indeed…


	45. I'm Goin' To Disney World, Pt1

**CHAPTER FORTY-THREE**

I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD! PT. 1

Lilo watched as Nick and Hamsterviel vanished through the portal into another time.

She was very, very scared all of a sudden. It was like déjà vu. She could remember…

Another time she and Stitch had felt this way…a day when they ALL had.

Memory flooded through Lilo and Stitch's heads…

PRECISELY ONE WEEK AFTER THE KARAOKE CONTEST…

"Seriously though, I wanna know…who on EARTH would eat cream of wheat?" Lilo asked Nani. They were all sitting down to eat breakfast, and Nick had volunteered to make it.

"It's not THAT bad, Lilo." Nani told her. "You just add a little cinnamon sugar and voila, it tastes pretty good!"

"What about eggs?" Nick asked. "I can make good scrambled eggs, my mom's recipe is the BEST."

"Unlike Pleakley's. Why'd you use snake eggs?" Lilo asked. Pleakley grumbled.

"I can't believe they HATCHED in the middle of frying…" Nick wondered out loud.

"I'm just glad the zoo took them off our hands."

"I'M glad I got to take pictures." Lilo sniggered. "I want that film…" Nani grumbled under her breath menacingly.

"Am liking mine with ketchup."

"Jelly beans for me!" Pleakley exclaimed.

"I'll have it with syrup!" Lilo asked politely.

"EVERYTHING!" Stitch laughed.

"Nani?" Nick turned to her. "What do you want yours with?"

"Hmm…" Nani thought. "How about just some salt, like a NORMAL person?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny." Lilo said. "So funny I forgot to laugh."

"But you just did." Pleakley pointed out. Nick ignored that comment. "All right! Scrambled eggs coming right up-oh wait, I almost forgot…did anyone go out to get the paper and the mail?"

"I'll get it!" Lilo said, jumping out of her seat and rushing to the door in her pajamas. She ran down the steps and to the mailbox at the end of the driveway. She opened it up and found the newspaper, wrapped in it's usual protective blue plastic bag, a few bills, a couple letters, and…

Oh…

"To: The Pelekais". From…oh! Oh wow!" Lilo ripped it open. "A letter from Keoni's dad! Let's see, what's…it…oh…my…GOD!"

Lilo dropped everything but the letter and ran back up the driveway, holding the letter high, screaming "Guys, guys!" as she bolted up the steps and into the house and the kitchen. "Guys! Look! We WON!"

They all blinked. "Won what? 100 million dollars in an entry sweepstakes?" Nani asked. Lilo shook her head. "No, no, remember the karaoke contest, well remember we entered as a family and guess what we actually won the contest and we get to go to Florida on a first class trip to Disney World!" She blurted it all out.

At first, everyone was quiet. Then Nick spoke up.

"Am…am I hearing right? We…we actually get…get to go…to Disney World? We won the trip, am I hearing things right?"

"Yep. According to Keoni's dad, who directed everything, we won the trip from the Karaoke contest!"

Nick stood stock still. Then…

"Oh…My…Good…God…this is GREAT!"

Jumba and Pleakley jumped up, grabbed each other's hands, and jumped around the kitchen chanting "We did it, we did it, we did it" while Stitch grinned and joined in with Lilo. Nick paced on the floor, like a kid at Christmas.

"I-I-I can't believe I'm actually going to Disney World, I've always wanted to go to Disney World and see the sights and take lots of pictures and ride Space Mountain, oh I've ALWAYS wanted to ride Space Mountain!"

Nani however, was worried. "Wait…how long is the trip supposed to last?" She thought out loud. She took the letter and read it over.

"Let's see, all expenses paid…rooms at Disney's Polynesian Resort…ooh, free room service, nice. Oh, what's this? Three days. Well, if I can just get my boss to give me three days off…"

**SFX: Glass breaking**

"Um, what was that?" Lilo asked. Nick shrugged. "No clue. My watch has a mind of its own…hey Nani, what's wrong?"

Nani looked pale. Why? Because her boss happened to be quite the stickler when it came to work. Nani usually had to leave work suddenly because of Lilo and Stitch's escapades. Granted, there were fewer and fewer nowadays, but her boss usually wanted Nani on time, regular, and dependable. Meaning…

If she even THOUGHT about approaching her boss with a request for a three-day vacation, she'd probably get in deep trouble. Possibly even blow her chance for a raise.

Nani loved working at the rental shack, but deep down, it had been her dream as a little girl to go to "a happy place" that her mother and father had talked about going to when Nani had been a little girl…Disney World. Her mother and father had gone to Disney Land for a date, and had loved it.

Nani remembered that her father, Eric, had told her that he and her mother had made a bit of a vow…to take their kids to a Disney resort, no matter how long it took. That the place was something special that needed to be experienced at least once in their lives.

So now, something inside Nani was telling her…she HAD to go. Go to the boss and say "Take this job and SHOVE it".

Then reality kicked in and she groaned, slamming her head on the table and spilling some salt over. Nick quickly picked it up and threw it over his shoulder. "Nani? What's wrong?" Lilo immediately asked.

"I'll NEVER get my boss to agree to let me go on a three-day vacation…you guys will have to go without me, Jumba and Pleakley can take care of you."

Lilo shook her head back and forth. "**No-way**. If one of us stays behind, ALL of us do. We're not going to go to Disney World without you, Nani! I know how much you've wanted to go, and besides, you need a vacation!"

"We all do." Nick admitted. "I mean, I've been having some nightmares about that "Cloak" guy at night…"

"It's true, I hear him muttering. Sometimes he wakes up sweating all over." Lilo admitted. "Which reminds me…take a shower."

Nick turned red in the face. "Uh…right. I, uh…I need something really big to get my mind off of him, and a trip to Disney World…" His eyes were filled with sparkles and starbursts. "That…that would be a beautiful thing."

Nani nodded. "You're right, I'll just go talk to my boss…I just need to get psyched up, that's all."

"Well had best be hurrying up and making mind." Jumba said. "According to letter, having only 24 hours to get to airport. Flight is leaving tomorrow morning, 8:00 sharp!"

"Tomorrow, 8:00, sharp!?!"

561 nodded. "Yes, that's what we have just heard from bugging the Pelekai's kitchen. According to the letter they received from the contest board, they've won a trip to Disney World. Their flight leaves at 8 AM tomorrow, on the dot."

Hamsterviel paced back and forth. "So…they are going to Flordia, are they? Good, good. I can use this time to-"

627 suddenly called out from the living room section of Gantu's ship, where the receiving equipment was set up. "Oh, and Jumba says he'll increase the automatic security at the house while they're gone, just in case someone tries to sneak into the house."

Hamsterviel groaned. "Curse it! Just when I finally thought…wait…wait, I have another idea…a very good and EVIL idea…"

"What is it? Finally decided to get a haircut so you'll look more like a hamster and less like a rat?" 625 asked, chewing on a chicken salad sandwich. Hamsterviel tossed him a look. "No, a DIFFERENT idea. Gantu! Gantuuu! Get in here!"

Gantu was in the shower. "Daisy, daisy, give me your answer true…I-am-crazy over the likes of you! It won't be a stylish marriage! I can't afford a carriage…"

Hamsterviel snuck into the bathroom with 561, 621, 625 and 627 watching him. He walked to the toilet. 625 winced at what was about to happen.

"But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for-"

FLUSH!

"two-OOOOOOOHHH!!!!" Gantu screamed and jumped out of the shower. He then realized everyone was looking at him.

"Oh my." 561 said, raising an eyebrow.

"WOW." 625 gaped. "That's just…WOW…"

"Man, whales have it lucky." 627 groaned.

The "land shark" immediately grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist and privates. "What on EARTH did you trogs do that for?"

"Don't look at us, Free Willy. Ask the hamster over there."

Gantu turned around and saw Hamsterviel grinning evilly at him. "Now that I have your attention…listen well, and _good_. The Pelekai household won that Karaoke contest. They're going to be going to Florida unless that older girl cannot get her boss to give her a three-day vacation. If they do go, they must take an airplane that leaves the airport at 8 AM tomorrow, sharp. What we have to do is simple…" Hamsterviel grinned even more evilly. "Get on that plane."

Gantu blinked a few times. "But it's most likely to be one of those special planes that have maximum security and a very limited number of seats…"

"And plush rug carpeting and great on-flight sandwiches!" 625 thought. "Now THOSE are reasons to sneak on."

561 rubbed his chin. "If we DO sneak on, we are going to need a place to hide, and we are going to have to sneak onto the plane without being seen. I don't know if there even WILL be a cargo hold…"

"Well, Mr. Jameson was the one directing the contest, right? He's footing the bill? Why don't we just go and find it out straight from the horse's mouth?" 627 thought out loud.

They all looked at him with "What are you, dumb?" expressions. "We're the BAD GUYS! We cannot just simply ASK for the information we need, there has to be _drama_!" Hamsterviel lectured him. "What we need…is to break into his office and get the information…by FORCE."

561 nodded. "True, Mr. Jameson would probably keep all records of what the plane schematics and what the flight plans are in his office, since he IS the one paying for the trip. But that leaves on question...what's the big plan? What are we going to do should we actually manage to get ON the plane and sneak a ride to this…Disney World?"

Hamsterviel rubbed his hands and cackled. "Ha-ha-ha! I am so glad you asked! Come, this way! I've drawn up a diagram."

They followed him to the kitchenette of Gantu's ship. Hamsterviel pointed to a large diagram he'd drawn up on the refrigerator using an "easy wash-off" marker.

"As we all know, it is Lilo and her little friends that managed to keep the experiments good. But, when the cats are away, the mice will play…and if they never come back from the trip due to a tragic "accident" at Disney World or on the plane, well…"

"We'll be in charge forever!" 627 got it. "So we sneak on the plane, and once it's up in the air, we "accident" them to death, and then they'll be nothing to stop us from taking over the island, the experiments, and the galaxy!"

Hamsterviel clapped. "Very, very good, 627. You're learning the whole "master plan" thing nicely."

"Sheesh, why not just give him a gold star while you're at it?" 625 grumbled.

Hamsterviel went on. "Once all of the Pelekai household is out of the way, we'll be able to easily force the experiments to our will, since it is said household that provides the most trouble for us…besides, the experiments are like the body of a snake, and the Pelekais are like the head. Cut the head off…the body dies soon after."

"If not violently." 561 added. "Very well. But is there another reason you want us to sneak onto the plane?"

Hamsterviel nodded. He pulled out the marker and began drawing up some more stuff. "Jumba created an experiment 628. He keeps the lab locked up and has the only copy of the key, BUT if I was to get a copy of said key…"

"A very good plan, Dr. Hamsterviel." 621 complimented. "Very well then. I suppose we'd best head out to get to Mr. Jameson's office…um, AFTER Gantu puts on some clothes…"

"Let's all pretend this shower thing never happened and I'll buy you all souvenirs when we get to Disney World." Gantu asked them politely.

"Deal." 621 and 627 said.

"I heard they make great sandwiches in Florida."

"…I suppose I could use a new pillow to rest my head upon…"

Hamsterviel clapped his hands together. "So then…get a move on, go-go-go! We have a lot of work to do! And I have a few people to…_speak_ with…"

"Boy, there sure is a lot of work to do."

Mr. Jameson groaned in his chair while at the Birds of Paradise hotel. Yes, the plane taking the Pelekai household was all ready to go for the MOST part, but it was missing a few very important things…like a crew.

There HAD been a crew, a local one that Mr. Jameson trusted very well (He had a big distrust of anti-locals…in fact, he had a huge list of people he didn't trust) but somehow they'd all been struck down with a _very_ bad case of stomach flu. Now he had to find a new crew, and within 24 hours to boot!

And as it were, at that moment…

The door swung open.

"All right, hands in the air, Mr. Jameson!" Gantu demanded, pointing to his plasma pistol that was strapped to his belt. Mr. Jameson blinked. "Um…who are you? Oh yeah, that Samoan guy!"

"Ugh…I'm here about the plane." Gantu told him. The experiments were out in the hall, they'd tied up the hotel staff.

Mr. Jameson blinked. Then he made the single most stupidest mistake he'd ever made.

"Ohhhh, you must have heard about how I need a crew for the vacation plane that's flying the Pelekai household to Florida! Do you have credentials?"

Gantu blinked. "Um, what?"

"I need a pilot and a crew that can fly a 12-seater first-class jet. Did you come in here to apply for the job?"

Gantu saw his chance and took it, tossing the gun behind him, kicking it away. "Oh, yes sir! I've been flying since I was 15 years old, actually."

"Then sit down and let's talk, Mr…uh…"

"Gantu." Gantu said, holding out his hand. "Nice to formally meet you, Mr. Jameson."

Mr. Jameson nodded. "You're gonna need a co-pilot though…got one?"

Gantu nodded. "Yes…yes, as a matter of fact, I do…and the best crew I'll need for a mission like this…"

Meanwhile…

"Sir, you know I am all about the rental shack…no, no, that won't cut it! Sir, I've been working here at the rental shack diligently and…no, no that won't work either! ERGH! What am I gonna **_say_**?"

Nani had been practicing in front of the mirror for about an hour now. Lilo, Stitch and Nick were worried.

"Man, at this rate we'll NEVER get to our flight…or even within 20 miles of the front doors of the airport!"

"Nick, Nani's trying hard. She just needs confidence…"

"No, what she needs is for someone to switch places with her…"

**SFX: Ding!  
**

"What was that?" Lilo asked, looking at Nick's watch.

"That's it." Nick whispered. He rushed to the living room, quivering with excitement. "That's IT! Lilo, Stitch, I know what we can do! Morpholomew can change the appearance of anyone into anything…right?"

Lilo and Stitch walked after him. Lilo nodded. "Ih." Stitch said. "Cousin bootifa."

"Well…what if we find someone who's willing to substitute for Nani for three days…who looks just LIKE Nani!"

Lilo blinked. "Wait…you want us to get Morpholomew to change someone else into Nani so that Nani can take us to Disney World?"

"Yeah, it's PERFECT!" Nick exclaimed, head whizzing with ideas. He began to pace the floor, gesticulating. "We just have to find someone who's willing to take her place, and then we get Morpholomew to change her appearance!"

Lilo looked down at the ground. "I dunno…maybe we should just talk to her boss for her instead…"

Stitch blinked a few times, then rubbed his chin. "Hmm…oooh!" He had an idea, and began speaking in rapid Galactic. "Um, what?" Nick asked. "Uh, wait, wait, don't translate, I've been reading up on Galactic. Is he saying "I know who we can get to substitute"?"

"Something along those lines." Lilo said, her tone a little bit "Oh boy, here we go again".

"You want me to _what_?!?" David asked. "Come on, guys, that idea's crazy. I'm telling Nani she should just go to her boss and-"

"But you know Nani so well, and you're experienced with the rental shack just as much as she is!" Nick begged. "Please! Nani REALLY needs a vacation from work."

Stitch gave David his best "Bambi-eyes" experession. "Pleeeaaaaaase? With sugar?" He asked. Nick did so as well. "Pretty please with sugar and a strawberry on top?"

David rolled his eyes. "…oe. All right, all right. I'll do it. Nani DOES deserve a vacation. But this is the LAST time you ask me to do something like this, a'ight? And you'd better behave on that trip and take good care of her, okay?"

"_Right_!" Nick and Stitch said. Lilo rolled HER eyes. "This isn't gonna end well." She thought.

"Wait…David said "Yes"?!?" Nani wanted to know. Nick nodded. "Yep! David agreed to cover for you!" This was truth. "He was happy to do it, he said you "DESERVED" a vacation…and that "this had better be the last time we ask for something like this, a'ight?"…or words to that effect."

Nani beamed. "All right! Then pack your bags guys…we're going to Disney World!"

"YAY!" Nick and Stitch cheered. They ran over to Lilo and held her hands, bounding up and down, going "We're going to Disney World, We're going to Disney World!"

Lilo eventually got into the mood, but deep down, she felt guilty…

But they all packed up bags. The trip was a go…

"So is it a go?"

"…I dunno."

"I told you…I'm paying you 500 Earth dollars up front…and I'm willing to reward you handsomely if you go on along with my plan."

"We're not sure we can trust you."

"Trust? Good point. How about a little added…incentive?"

"W-w-what…that's…that's a chunk from…"

"From the Destiny Crystal. A very nice, very profitable chunk. Sell it on the Intergalactic Black Market…you'd be set for life, wouldn't you?"

"Well, now THAT is an offer we can't refuse, eh partner?"

"You've engaged our, uh, "valuable services", doc. Just say whatcha want from us…"

The next morning…

"Rise and shiiiiine!" Pleakley happily sang out. Lilo rubbed her eyes and looked up from her bed. Pleakley was there, all fully dressed, showered, everything. Stitch blinked a few times, then yawned. He stank quite badly.

"What time is it?" Lilo asked groggily.

"6:30. Let's eat breakfast and get a move on to the airport! Disney World awaits us! Nani and Nick are already downstairs!"

Lilo sat up in her bed. "Wait…Nick I get, but Nani's already up?"

"Yep! You should see her, she's singing while making pancakes! They smell great!"

Stitch caught a good whiff of the fragrance of pancakes drifting up from downstairs and went "Mmmm!", licking his lips.

"Wait…singing AND making pancakes?" Lilo asked. She blinked a few times. Nani…Nani was so happy now! Lilo had felt guilty about keeping the truth secret, but…well, Nani was so happy, she was going to fulfill a childhood dream…

She couldn't stay down forever. Lilo hopped out of her bed. "Let's go get some pancakes, Stitch!" She told him. "Ih!" Stitch agreed, jumping out of his bed and grinning.

"IIIIII…should have known better with a girl you! That I would love everything that you do! And I do! Hey-hey-hey…and I doooo! Woah-woah-IIIIIIIIIIIII…never realized what a kiss could be! This could only happen to me!"

"Happen to me, can't you see…"

"Can't you see!"

"That when I…"

"That when I tell you that I love you…ohhh…"

"You're gonna say you love me too, woah-woah-woah-woah, ohhh…"

"And when I ask you to be mine…to be miii-eeiiine-eeeine…"

"You're gonna say you love me tooooo!"

Nick and Nani were both singing. Nick was setting the table while Nani made the pancakes. Nick had just put down the glasses when Jumba walked in, scratching under his armpit.

"Eh, why are you singing pop song of old British rocking band?"

"Because the Beatles were bigger than Jesus!" Lilo said, coming up from behind him with Stitch and Pleakley.

"Jesus? Oh, right. Look, this "God" thing…" Jumba started.

"Look, if you wanna be atheist, fine. I can dig it. But don't put other people down for wanting to believe that there's a God up there, okay? They have the right to believe in that dream."

"…"

"Of course, I shouldn't be forcing my Christian views on anyone no matter if I'm 100 percent right or if I don't have a clue…I should just respect other people's beliefs."

"Unless they're the kind of people who believe that you can ride in a spaceship by sleeping in underground bunker after taking too much vodka."

_How does Lilo KNOW this stuff?_

"I read a lot."

"How'd you know what I was think-"

She tossed him a "I'm your girlfriend, remember?" look.

"Oh. Right. Silly me." Nick blushed. "Still, it's hard to tell who's better, the Beatles or Elvis. I really can't choose!" He admitted. "But I LOVE "I Should Have Known Better"!"

"Am simply glad to see older girl so happy." Jumba said. He meant it too. Nani really was very pretty when she was smiling in this way, it was like her face was a sun, beaming out gentle rays of warmth to all around her.

Soon they all sat down for breakfast. Nani and Nick just wouldn't stop smiling. Soon Jumba and Pleakley were grinnin' too. Everyone was grinnin'. Stitch was grinnin'. Lilo was pretty sure the birds out in the trees would be grinnin' if they could. And soon she found HERSELF grinnin' along with the rest of them. It was just that kind of moment!

And after breakfast, and after they'd all gotten dressed…

"All right, everyone have their bags packed, okay?" Lilo shouted up from the living room, where all her stuff was.

"Pleakley, you don't HAVE to bring all those shoes. We're only going for three days…" Nani told him.

"I know! I need at LEAST 9 pairs." Pleakley defended.

"…_right_…" Jumba muttered.

Nick put the lid on his suitcase. He was merrily singing. "And now we meet in an abandoned studio…we hear the playback and it seems so long ago! And you remember…the jingles used to go! Oh-oh! You were the first one! Oh-oh! You were the last one! Video killed the radio star! Video killed the radio star! In my mind and in my caaar!"

DING-DONG! The doorbell rang. Lilo went to answer it. She blinked.

"Oh. Bonnie! Clyde! How are you guys doing?"

Bonnie and Clyde were dressed very nicely, in tuxedos. Clyde had a driver's cap on his head, and Bonnie was wearing glasses. (For appearance only, to make her look "professional".)

"We're here per Mr. Jameson's request." She said. "We're your escort service, see?" She pointed behind her. There, in the driveway, was a HUGE limousine. Jumba went "ooooh" and Pleakley went "ahhh" and Stitch went "ohhhhh". Nick gaped.

"Oh my _gott in himmel_!" He exclaimed in German. "That paint job! Those little flags on the front…those spinning rims! And…do I see a minibar in there?"

"Yep. And a Jacuzzi!" Clyde chuckled.

Pleakley giggled like a schoolgirl. "A Jacuzzi. Somebody pinch me, we have a **Jacuzzi**!"

POINK!

"OW!"

"Hee-hee…"

"Jumba!"

"Could not be resisting!"

Nick kicked him in the shin. "OW! OW-OW-OW!"

"Don't be an a-hole!"

"I'm surprised Mr. Jameson let you two be our drivers." Lilo said. "I would have thought he'd sent…well, someone human…no offense, you're good drivers, really."

"Well, the driver's all tied up in a vacation down under."

This was gangster talk for "We tied him up, stuffed his mouth, and he's under your porch." But the subtlety of it wouldn't have been noticed by anyone but "Genius" Jumba, who was too busy looking into the minibar at the moment, and Pleakley, Mr. "Detective Shows Rock", who was admiring the Jacuzzi.

"Maybe I should wear my swim trunks!"

"…….please…don't." Nick begged. "There are small children present."

"Hey! I told you, I'm not a child, I'm a kid!"

"I was talking about Jumba." Nick wisecracked. "The minibar is for people 8 years and up, Jumba."

"HEY!" Jumba growled. Stitch sniggered.

"So Clyde here will put all your bags in the car, wontcha Clyde?"

Clyde grumbled under his breath but picked them all up and carried them to the car's trunk. "Uh, Bonnie? I can't open the trunk…"

"Hold on, hold on." Bonnie held up a remote key. The car went "Boop-boop-ba-boop" and the trunk popped open. Clyde put all of the household's goods in the car then closed the trunk.

"All right, ladies and gents, let's get this show on the road!" Bonnie said, going into the "shotgun" seat of the limo. Clyde got into the driver's seat.

They all clamored into the car. Clyde started it up. Bonnie turned around.

"Buckle up, kiddos!" She exclaimed, grinning mischievously.

Nick gulped. "Oh dear…"

VROOOOM! And the limo took off! Whizzing through the streets, it drove to the airport. And Nani was simmering full of happiness underneath her seemingly calm exterior. She was going to Disney World! She was gonna fulfill her DREAM!

In the sound-proof front seats, with the window to the back seats closed, Bonnie looked at Clyde. A brief flash of emotion surged out from Bonnie, anger.

"What's the matter?" She asked quickly. Clyde was biting his lip nervously.

"Bonnie…I feel…I feel really bad 'bout this…"

"Hey…you're just supposed to do the job, and not think about anything, all right?" Bonnie scolded him. "Besides, the payoff…" She grinned. "Isn't that worth it?"

"Well…if what Hammy said was true…yeah." He said.

Bonnie folded her arms as they came to a stoplight that had turned red. "So what's yer problem?" She demanded to know.

Clyde looked back at the window, then a few moments later back as the road as the light turned green. "That's just it, Bonnie..." He said quietly.

"**_If_**"…"

Meanwhile, at the rental shack…

"So Nani, I'm glad you let Lilo's aunt and uncle take her to Disney World. Staying her shows real dedication. In fact, I'm going to note this…you just wait. That next raise is around the corner."

David, looking exactly like Nani, nodded nervously, using the highest pitched voice he could muster. "Oh gee, _mahalo_ plenty sir!"

"Guys…hurry back." He thought, looking behind him at Morpholomew, who gave him a big grin and a thumbs up. "I don't know if I can pull this off!"

Nani's boss left at that moment. David breathed a sigh of relief. "That was too close!" He said in his normal voice.

"Ah-HA!"

David yelped. Someone burst in through the back door of the rental shack…someone who's named began with M and ended with yrtle.

"I KNEW I wasn't seeing things! That freaky blob DID turn you into Nani! What's going on here…wait, I don't care. I only want one thing."

"Uh…what's that?"

Myrtle sneered. "IN."

"Oh, jeez."

"You gimme half of what you get from this work. I know Nani's boss pays her by the hour every day…"

"_Oe_!"

"If you don't…" Myrtle grinned nastily. "I'll **tell** on you."

David groaned. "Ohhhh…all right, all right…you win, you win…"

Meanwhile, at the airport, inside the airplane…

"It's all in place." 621 said, rubbing his hands eagerly. He was dressed as a Mohawked teenage flight attendant with green hair and dark green eyes. A holographic projector, disguised as a tie, ensured this appearance. It was around all of them. "These holographic disguisers will work just long enough for us to get what we need…"

"And then we strike." 561 finished, grinning cruelly. He was a youth with long black hair that fell down around his face, brushed down neatly in the back. "They won't stand a chance."

"I almost feel sorry for them." 627 said. He had slightly spiked, burning red hair in his disguise, and a jagged scar on his cheek, which made him look "tough" as a "senior flight attendant". "Really?" 621 asked. "Not really. I just always wanted to say that. Sounds dramatic."

"Riiiiight." 625 said. He was a fat and jolly-looking blond cook with brown eyes and puffy hair. He sipped his Coke and looked over at Hamsterviel, who was sitting in the co-pilot's chair with Gantu next to him in the captain's chair. "I actually DO feel sorry for them…"

Hamsterviel grinned. His hologram disguise made him look like a short, blond-haired man, hair parted slightly to the side with a little ponytail in the back. He still had red eyes…but these were covered with sunglasses."So, Gantu…how does it feel…being a captain once again?"

Gantu, dressed up in an impressive white uniform with a captain's hat, holographically disguised as a MacGyver-style Hawaiian, grinned, lowering his own sunglasses to show those bright blue eyes.

"Wonderful, Dr. Hamsterviel. It feels…just…wonderful."

**Uh oh…**

**This…this is not good. **

**I…**

**I should do something…**

**And NOW!**


	46. I'm Goin' To Disney World, Pt2

**CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR**

I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD! PT. 2

"STOP BREAKING THE LAW, A—HOLE!" Someone shouted as a limousine whizzed by his car, almost knocking off his right mirror. Bonnie leaned out the window and stuck her tongue out, leaving the shouting driver behind.

"Heh-heh-heh!" She chuckled, getting back inside the car. "We should be there in about, oh say, ten minutes."

Clyde wasn't speaking.

"Come on, Clyde…what's eatin' ya?"

"Maybe we shouldn't be doin' this. I mean, yeah, I'm kinda mad that kid got us stuck in jail AGAIN, but the girl and our cuz…"

"Stuff it, Clyde." Bonnie snapped. "You're not supposed to think. I'M the brains, you're the brawn, that's how it's always worked, remember?"

"Right…but I still don't feel too good 'bout this."

"…just drive. Hammy'll come through for us…"

In the back…

"Wow! This Jacuzzi is GREAT!"

Pleakley had not heeded Nick's plea and had gotten in. Luckily, there was a separate little "space" for the Jacuzzi that could be closed off from the other's point of view.

"You'd better get changed and dried off before we get there!" Nani told him.

"Yes, am not wanting image of naked noodle burned into eyes." Jumba complained.

"Party poopers! Toreador…toreadooooorrrr!"

"I'm pretty sure that's not how the song goes." Lilo thought out loud. "It's not." Nick said. "It's more like a "Toreadora ah, la-luh-la-la-laaa!"

"Oh. Wait, you watch opera?"

"No, but one my mother's family is from Italy, and she and her family know quite a bit about operas."

"Oh, right. Your parents divorced, right?"

"Yeah…"

Silence, stuffy silence, filled the seats where the Pelekai household, sans Pleakley, was.

Then Nick asked a question. "Hey Jumba…what happened with your wife?"

Jumba looked nervously at the floor of the limousine. He sighed. "That…that is story I am not happy about. Jumba…Jumba tried to love wife out of duty and loyalty to the arraigned marriage that was set up… tried to be understanding…"

"But she didn't love you back?"

Jumba shook his head slowly, eyes closing. "No…no she did not. I suppose it could not have been helped. She was not exactly spring chicken, was a very mean girl too…but I thought maybe over time, and with a little support, we would grow to care about each other…we never even made it to 20th anniversary."

"What was your tenth like?"

"By then, we had grown to dislike each other very much. Constantly yelling and screaming and-"

The car stopped a few moments later with a screech. The window to the front seats rolled down.

"We're here!" Bonnie told them. "Come on, ladies and gents, let's getcha to your flight!"

Meanwhile…

"Here they come. Act natural, and remember, we do nothing until we're up in the air and safely away from the island." "Co-Pilot John Doe", who was really Hamsterviel, reminded the "crew" of the plane.

The Pelekai household made their way to the airplane, with Bonnie and Clyde right behind. 621, disguised as the punkish attendant, went to meet them, while Hamsterviel talked to Bonnie.

"Did you get it?"

She nodded. "Found it." She said. "It's right here." She said, giving him the key. Hamsterviel nodded. "Good. Now hide on the plane, fast."

Bonnie blinked. "What?"

"I told you you'd have to do more than simply get them to the airport. You're coming with us to make sure you don't go telling any other experiments about our plan. It's my insurance."

Bonnie growled. "Hey, this wasn't…oooh…you ARE sneaky."

"I just like being sure." Hamsterviel told them. "Now go. Sneak on quickly."

Bonnie and Clyde quickly snuck into the plane while 621, disguised as "Mr. Chops", addressed the household. "Hello! You must be the Pelekai family, am I right?"

They all nodded. Stitch blinked. Something about him was familiar, and he thought he smelled familiar too…

Luckily for the bad guys, and unluckily for Stitch and the household, the crew were wearing very good, scent-masking colognes. They wouldn't be smelled out.

"Mr. Chops" went on. "Anyhow, it's our great pleasure to welcome you aboard your flight. Come on into the plane, we'll get your bags."

Once inside the plane, everyone got into their seat belts. "Buckle up extra tight, Stitch." Lilo told him. "Safety first."

Nick looked up above him. "Oh, let's see. Light, air conditioning, the little button that releases the gas mask…hey, what's THIS button?" He asked "Mr. Chops".

"Oh, I believe that's for calling someone to serve you a drink."

"Cool."

"Please don't use it now, though, we have to take off. Our captain is just getting clear-"

"We've got clearance." The captain of the plane said over the intercom. "Fasten your seat belts, everyone."

And so, a few minutes later, the plane flew off into the sky.

"WAAAAAA!" Pleakley screamed.

"I thought you said you didn't have vertigo!" Nani shouted.

"I liiiiieeeeddd!!!"

Nick watched as the island began to slowly but surely become nothing more than a far off speck in the distance.

"Boy, the ocean sure looks beautiful." He commented out loud.

"Yes, isn't it?" 561, disguised as "Mr. Poe" commented. Nick blinked. This guy was weird in a depressing kind of way.

"So, why'd you decide to be a flight attendant?" Nick asked politely. "Mr. Poe" blinked a few times, thinking, then came up with a simple answer: "Nobody asks me stupid questions."

Nick decided not to talk to this one.

Meanwhile, in the back of the plane...

"Boy, this stinks, Bonnie."

"Shut iiiiiit!"

Bonnie and Clyde had been forced to be in the cargo hold of the plane, which was in the back. They didn't like being treated second-class. They were respectable villains, experts at stealing and thievery! They deserved better, Bonnie thought.

As for Clyde…

"Gee, Bonnie, I'm startin' to get the feelin' that Hammy ain't gonna help us the way we want him to help. He's probably gonna double cross us."

"If he does, we can take him." Bonnie said. "I've always got a plan, remember? See, I stuck a little plastique on the bottom of the plane when those idiots weren't lookin', and if they try anything funny, I press THIS button…"

She held up a small remote control with a few buttons on it, her thumb above a shiny RED button.

"Boom." She said simply.

Clyde blinked. "Won't we die too?"

"No, we'll move be fine, Clyde, don't be silly. Remember, WE can swim." She chuckled. "Our molecular density's low enough. But most of our cousins out there AREN'T, so who cares?"

"Wh-what about Lilo?"

Bonnie stopped chuckling. "Well…she'll probably find a parachute. She'll be fine."

"Bonnie, I don't wanna hafta hurt a girl, that's pretty cold."

"Relax, 627 said they weren't gonna hurt her. That they just wanted to strand them at Disney World. They'll be fine. They'll be having a good time on Space Mountain while WE'RE heading back to Hawaii, loaded!"

"…if you say so, Bonnie. But Hammy didn't talk about that part, he just-"

"Dummies." Heartwing said.

Bonnie and Clyde jumped two feet in the air as a white, reptilian, crested head popped out from behind Pleakley's "accessories" box. It was followed by the rest of the draconian body that belonged to Heartwing. He shook his head in disappointment. Bonnie growled. "What the? You snuck on? And we didn't notice you?!?...we're losing our touch, Clyde. We gotta practice more."

"Hey, don't call me stupid!" Clyde growled, cracking the knuckles on his metal arm. Heartwing shook his head some more. "What, you think Hamsterviel won't come through fer us?"

Heartwing's head shook vigorously. "Uh-uh-uh!"

Bonnie folded her arms. "Aww, whaddya YOU know? You're a stupid kid! And who cares about that dumb girl any-"

Heartwing's eyes narrowed into slits at her. She gulped as he slunk towards her, a low growl rising in his throat. Clyde stood in his way. "Don't you even think about-"

WHAM! He was sent tumbling to the floor. "Clyde!" Bonnie shouted, getting down on bended knee to help him up. But before she could reach him she was pinned to the floor. She looked up into Heartwing's emerald eyes.

"Don't you talk…about family…like that." He said angrily. "Or **else**."

Bonnie gulped. "Uh-uh…okay!" She gasped. Heartwing got off of her, looking at her.

"What, you want us to go talk to the doc?"

He nodded slowly, stonily. Bonnie sighed. "Fine, fine. But I don't really think he's gonna go back on his word about rewarding us. He promised he'd give us real riches if we came through."

"Well, when we asked what he was gonna do to Lilo, he clammed up, didn't he?" Clyde realized. "Maybe we SHOULD talk to him…"

As it were, in the captain and co-pilot's chairs…

"Ahhh…I haven't been flying in what feels like AGES." Gantu said happily. Hamsterviel was enamored with a dancing hula girl on the dashboard of the plane. It danced and danced and danced.

"Oooooh." He said. "Nice."

Gantu pointed in front, out the window. "Look, that cloud looks kind of like a…like a bunny, doesn't it? That cloud there, approaching us?"

"…"

"What? What do YOU see?"

"I see Marilyn Monroe, her blond hair flowing gently in the wind, arms stretched towards the heavens as she rides on top of the biggest of a mighty herd of buffalo, with a scarf wrapped around her neck."

Gantu blinked a few times and looked again.

"Oh…you're right, she's riding a herd of buffalo! My, that's really somethi-"

"Now I just see a bunny."

Back in the passenger's seats…

"All right. B-7."

"Straight into the water."

"Darn it!"

"A-3."

"You sank my battleship!"

Jumba and Pleakley were playing "Battleships". Nick was keenly aware that Jumba was cheating, since Stitch was giving him the sign language for where to strike from HIS seat. And whenever Pleakley turned to look at Stitch, Stitch would quickly go back to looking out the window.

Meanwhile, Nani and Lilo were talking about their mother and father, Keala and Eric Pelekai. Nick decided not to butt in on the conversation.

But something was bothering him. He didn't consider himself a liar, and he had told the truth when he'd told Nani that David would cover for her. But he was hiding information from her…that was almost as bad, possibly even worse.

Guilt was eating him up.

_Maybe I SHOULD tell her…_

_Then again, a little withholding of information now and then never hurt anyone…_

_Oh, who am I kidding, I should tell her…_

"Um…Nani?" Nick spoke up suddenly. His voice was very hesitant and unsure. "I, uh…I have something I need to say to you…"

"C-9!"

"Ha-ha-ha! Calling THAT a shot, noodle man? Take this…D-4!"

"Darn it, darn it, darn it! My sub's sunken!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Serving you right!"

"First of all, Jumba's cheating, because Stitch is telling him via signing where Pleakley's ships are…"

"Gu-guuaaahh!" Jumba gulped. Pleakley glared at him and Stitch.

"And…well…DaviddisguisedhimselfasyouthankstoMorpholomewandthat'showwegothimtoworkforyou!" Nick said quickly.

"**_WHAT_**!?!"

"I really wanted to go on the trip…we ALL did…and Lilo wanted you to be happy…so I came up with an idea of using Morpholomew to disguise David as you, so he could do your work in your place…"

Nani held her forehead. "_Oe_! Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Lilo looked nervously at the ground. "Well…we didn't tell you the whole story…but you were just so excited about going to Disney World…"

627 sniggered, going to the back of the plane to use the bathroom. He walked inside.

"Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmm…da-da-da-da-daaaa…heh-heh. Boy, there's a nice echo effect in here. Echo!"

Echo! Echo!

"Hello!"

Hello! Hello!

"Now batting…Mike Piazza!"

Piazza, Piazza!

"Heh-heh…" The bathroom, conveniently, was within ten feet of the door to the cargo hold..

Which opened suddenly. Heartwing bounded out and pinned 627 to the ground, growling angrily. He ripped 627's holographic projector off of his neck. He gulped at the rows of sharp teeth. Bonnie slowly walked out, holding a plasma pistol to his head. "All right. Start talkin'." She said. "What's the REAL plan?"

Clyde also came out of the cargo hold, cracking his knuckles. "Either you start tellin' us what's really going down, or Clyde's fists here has an appointment with your ugly mug." Bonnie went on. 627 gulped again. "A-a-all right! I'll talk! We're going to kill them all up here, then fly back and take over the island! We needed the key to the lab to get experiment 628! Hamsterviel knows that with the Pelekai's gone, the rest of the experiments will be way easier to catch!"

Bonnie gasped. "He's…he's really gonna…you LIAR!" She suddenly shouted, jumping on him and pounding his face. Lilo turned around and saw all four of the experiments getting into a huge fight, with 627 trying vainly to ward Heartwing, Bonnie and Clyde off.

"What the? 627? Bonnie, Clyde? HEARTWING? What on earth…"

"Aw, crap!" 621 shouted. "The plan's a bust!"

"Oh dear. This is going to get messy, then." 561 said. The holographic projectors were tossed aside, and the experiments were revealed.

"AAA! The little monsters! It's a trap!" Pleakley screamed.

Jumba looked down at his lap. He was tightly secured by the seatbelt and 621 was looking at him with obviously murderous intent. "This is argument against seatbelts." He muttered.

Hamsterviel, who was still disguised, walked out of the cockpit. "I'm going to go get us some sodas." He told Gantu. He opened the door…

"What the? Oh no…they found out?"

"They found out." The experiments all said.

Hamsterviel groaned. "Gantu, they found out. My…my plan is a bust."

"Oh dear."

Hamsterviel sighed. "Ah, well. I guess this means we'll just have to advance the time table up." He threw HIS projector away and stood there, cape and all. "So then…experiments! Bring Lilo Pelekai up to the cockpit with me!"

561 ripped Lilo's seat belt off and grabbed her. "Hey, hands off!" She shouted, punching him in the snout. He rubbed it. "Ow." He said emotionlessly. "Nice one, sis." Nani told her.

Ignoring Lilo's flailing and punching, 561 slung her over his shoulder and carried her to Hamsterviel. Nick tried to stand up, as did Stitch. "If you even THINK of…" "You naga touch-"

621 cracked his knuckles and stood in their way. "You're not going to help her, brother. You can't even help yourself. All of you are going to die here. Just accept it, make it easier on yourselves…"

Hamsterviel watched as Lilo was brought into the cockpit. He smirked and followed her in. "Put it on autopilot." He told Gantu. Gantu looked down at Lilo with an expression of both annoyance and yet sympathy, and then walked out after flipping the "autopilot" switch.

Hamsterviel pulled out something from a nearby compartment that he'd brought… a sleek, smooth, stainless steel gun.

"This thing is called a Mark 68 Dark Cloud. It fires a compressed bullet of pure dark energy into the target. The minute it hits something, the dark energy explodes, enveloping the target and suffocating them in a few minutes." He held it to her head. "You'll feel like you're being wrapped up in a blanket, and there won't be anything you can do. You'll run out of air very quickly, and pass out…and then you'll die. It's quite violent, but at least it's quick and not that painful."

Lilo gulped. She was shaking with fear. "You have constantly been a thorn in my side for years. You and your family. I'm tired of playing games. I'm ending this. NOW."

Lilo looked away, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth.

"You should be grateful. I'm giving you a nice quick death. Your family will suffer quite a bit…"

"You're insane. You're sick." Lilo said. "You need help."

"Insane? Heh…I guess so. It doesn't matter. Farewell, Lilo Pelekai." He slowly began to pull the trigger.

Lilo was not crying. She stood there, looking right into Hamsterviel's solid red eyes with her own dark brown ones.

Time passed…

Hamsterviel growled. "Grrr…I don't get it…I just don't GET it!"

He threw the gun down on the ground, stomping on it. "Why-why-why!?! Why can't I do this!?!"

Lilo blinked. "Huh?"

Hamsterviel stopped stomping. He looked up at her. "You've been nothing but a hindrance to me. I should kill you, but…but doing it this way feels wrong…"

He looked out through the cockpit window. "…maybe…yes, maybe that's it. I want your defeat to be at the place where you've given me so much trouble…Kauai. Doing it up here…it's just not poetic."

"I don't think you really were going to kill me anyway. And I don't think you ever will." Lilo said.

Hamsterviel grabbed her and shoved her down. He was breathing harshly on her. "Why not?!?" He whispered quickly.

"Because I think deep down…you're really good." She said quietly.

Hamsterviel blinked slowly. Then he got up and walked to the other side of the cockpit. He looked at the gun…which was only a few feet from Lilo. "You could grab it and finish me off." He realized out loud. He turned to face her.

"Will you?"

Lilo shook her head. "No. That wouldn't be right."

Hamsterviel smiled gently. "You ARE kind." He said. "All right, all right. I guess I'll let you go THIS time…"

Suddenly a huge explosion rocked the plane. Hamsterviel went flying back, hitting his head on the wall. There was a THUNK and then he hit the ground, unconscious. Lilo had been thrown to the ground, and she stood up, groaning.

"What the?"

She felt the plane was…sinking down…and land mass was fast approaching. Florida itself! They'd finally reached Florida.

At that moment, Nick crawled into the cockpit. He was bleeding from his forehead, he'd gotten cut during the commotion. "Ugh…Houston…we have a problem." He moaned.

"What happened?"

"Everyone back there's knocked out…I…I HOPE they're only knocked out…" He whispered softly. "I think…think that Bonnie and Clyde…ugh…" He stood up, groaning, rubbing the back of his head. His cut was slowly healing. "They rigged the back bottom of the plane with some explosives. We're going…down."

"Oh CRUD!" Lilo shouted.

Meanwhile, back on the island…

Myrtle Edmonds was in her house, swimming in a huge pile of one dollar bills. "Yess…yessss! Ah-ha-ha! The sweet, sweet scent of blackmail! Ha-ha-ha! I'm rich! I'm riiiich!...now if only Mom would stop renting houses as bed and breakfasts…"

David, who wasn't disguised at the moment, was groaning, pacing the floor at Lilo's house.

"Oe! Oh, oh, WHAT am I gonna do? I gotta call Nani up the minute she gets to Florida and tell her…oh, but I did say I'd keep her outta this…what am I gonna do?"

The phone rang. He picked it up.

"All right, what's going on?"

"Huh? Mrs. Edmonds?"

"Myrtle is bathing in a small blow-up swimming pool filled with dollar bills. She's mentioned the words "Kawena", "blackmail", and "filthy, stinkin' rich". What's going on?"

"Um…well…"

Back on the plane…

"Nick, do you have any idea how to fly this?"

Nick shook his head. "I WISH I did. I'm not even too good at flight simulators. I always brought the plane in too low."

"Well, I don't know how to fly either!" Lilo complained. "Okay, we need to think…what would a REAL pilot do?"

The ground was coming up a bit too quickly for Nick's taste. "Um…where's the wheel? The controls?"

"Uh…oh, right here!" Lilo jumped in the captain's seat and grabbed the controls, pulling up.

TEN SECONDS LATER…

"TOO…HIIIIIIGH!" Nick screamed as he hit the wall across from the cockpit window. "Sorry!" Lilo shouted, leveling the plane off as best she could, although it was still sinking lower and lower towards the ground. "I've never done this before…"

"Ugh…" Hamsterviel groaned. "My heaaaaad…" He slowly lifted his head slightly of the ground.

"Hammy! Get up!" Nick shouted. "Quick, how do we fly this contraption?!?"

"Do a u-turn…ugh…" Hamsterviel's head hit the floor again. Nick slapped his forehead. "Arrrgghhh! We're in so much shitake right now…"

"Wait…Nick, did you ever see any airplane disaster movies?"

"Um…I saw "Airplane" one and two…do those count?"

"They'll have to do. Call up the control tower, I can tell that thing over there…" She pointed at something hanging from the co-pilot's dashboard. "…is a radio. Try every channel until you get somebody!"

"Right." Nick hopped into the co-pilot's seat. He turned to channel one. "Hello? Hello? SOS! SOS! Anyone with piloting experience has been knocked out, our plane is going down, repeat, our plane is going down!"

The radio crackled. "Crzzzz…crzzzzahh…h-h-heh…hehllooooo? Crzzz…"

Nick gasped. "Hello, down on the ground? This is us up in the air! We need help! Nobody who's awake up here knows how to fly a fracking plane! HELP!"

"Nick, calm down!" Lilo shouted.

"I can't help it!" Nick shouted. "I've…I've never felt so pressured, and…and just going down this way, I just…I can't take it! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"

"Crcaccckkkkaaaazzzz…crzzzz…vrrr..vrrr…c-c-calm down! I said calm down!"

Nick held the transmitter tightly. "Who's there?" He wanted to know. "Who's there?"

"This is Orlando Flight Tower. My name is Dodger Stryker, I'll be helping you get your plane down. Just stay calm and tell me your situation."

"Well…well the thing is, we were all on our way to Disney World and our household won a trip in this karaoke contest…"

"Yes, yes?"

"And after we were flying for a while, it turned out we were stuck in a trap by some people who were trying to kill us!"

"Oh my…that's terrible! Is everyone okay?"

"Nobody's dead, but me and my girlfriend are the only ones awake right now…and we don't know how to fly a plane!"

"All right, all right. Stay calm."

Nick was sweating bullets. "What do I do, what am I gonna do? Mr. Stryker, help!"

"Calm down, son! Now calm down and tell me what happened next."

"Some explosives that had been stuck on the bottom of the plane were detonated, now we're about to crash and burn!" Nick shouted.

The radio was silent for a few moments. Then Mr. Stryker spoke. "Now listen, just listen. You have to remain as calm as you can while I tell you these instructions. Do NOT panic. Panicking at this stage is the absolute worst thing that you could do."

"Yeah, no SHIT SHERLOCK!" Nick shouted.

"Nick, calm down!" Lilo shouted again.

_In case you haven't figured it out yet…I DON'T WANNA **DIIIIIIIEEEEE**!_

Nick bit onto his free hand, which had formed into a fist. "Grrrrahhhh…..rrrr…rrr…all…all right, I'll…try and calm down…just…tell me…what I gotta do…"

"Who's flying the plane right now?"

"My girlfriend-wait, who's this? This isn't Stryker!"

"My name is Roger Yates. I'm one of the technicians for the tower. I'm here to ascertain your flight of descent, the size of your plane, all of the technical things we'll need to find out if we're going to get you down. But for starters, tell us who's flying the plane."

"All right, my girlfriend."

"You girlfriend? Who has no experience, right?"

"No, we're not even 13 years old yet."

"Wow…you are so **_screwed_**."

"**WHAAA**!?!?!?!" Nick screamed.

There was a huge "THONK" and then Stryker was back on the line. "I apologize for Mr. Yates. He's only 18, an intern."

"HELP!" Nick screamed again. He had no idea what to do. He was panicking, plain and simple.

"Listen, first make sure your hands are firmly on the steering mechanism."

"They are." Lilo told Nick. "They are." He told Stryker. "Good, now look for a nice, long stretch of open area."

Lilo pointed to a huge stretch of grassy area. "Looks like a golf course almost…" "Or some celebrity's backyard, maybe? Uh, we see somewhere that might work…"

"Good. Now slowly but surely turn towards it. Then ease down, but slightly, and only to make sure you arrive there early, so you'll have plenty of time to slow down on the ground."

"Yes sir." Lilo said. She made the turn and then, gently, leaned forward, pushing the steering down lightly. The plane tilted more towards the approaching ground.

"Now wait. On my mark, lift the nose up slightly. And you, kid, engage the landing gear as best you can."

"Uh…won't it break?"

"Kid, anything that could give you some control should be used. The landing gear should be a red or orange switch next to three flashing green lights, right between the pilot and copilot's seat. Beneath that switch is a lever, and that deploys the emergency parachute. Only use that when I tell you, all right?"

"Right, sir." Lilo said. Nick flipped the switch, shaking. Then, after a few moments of silence…

The ground was fast approaching…

"NOW."

Lilo tilted the plane up. The plane leveled out some.

"Brace yourselves! You'll hit the ground in about five minutes. Everyone should be in their seat belts!"

Nick undid his seatbelt and then ran back into the passenger area. He picked everyone's unconscious bodies up and quickly, firmly, put them into different seats, putting the seatbelts on. Then he ran back to the cockpit and got inside the seat, putting the seatbelt on. Lilo already had it on. She nodded.

"Okay." Nick said shakily. "They're all on…"

"Two minutes left…" They heard Yates say.

Nick held out his hand. Lilo took it and shook it heartily.

"Lilo…there's something I have to tell you…I wish I could do it now, But I'm too nervous, and I can't save everyone, I…I wouldn't be able to…if only Heartwing was awake…"

"Nick…whatever it is…it doesn't matter." She told him gently. "We're going to be okay. Just calm down."

Nick gulped. "How can you be so calm?"

"One minute…get ready!"

"Just think of the ocean breeze that brings good memories of good times." Lilo said. "A Hawaiian dream of you, like my dreams about my parents and Nani all having a good time!"

"A…Hawaiian dream of you…"

_I…If I believe in anything…it's in the dream…_

_So guys? Back home? I'll dream of you…_

They were about to hit.

"Half a minute…"

_I could die now and I'd be dreaming of you all the while, not caring…_

_Hey…_

"Five…four…"

_I feel…_

_Pretty dang good!_

_**BA-BAAAANNNNGGGG!!!**_

There was a tremendous jolt and the plane shook immensely. It began to shake rapidly as it bumped and grinded along the grass.

"The parachute, NOW!" Stryker shouted.

Nick quickly pulled the lever. There was a "pwafooof" sound from the far back, and the plane that had been going so fast, so rocky, slowed down some…

Not much, but enough…

Nick shut his eyes and waited.

"MYRTLE EDMONDS!"

"AAA! Mom! Uh…when did you…"

"Shame on you, blackmailing that nice Mr. Kawena! You are GROUNDED, missy! And I'm taking away your dolls!"

"No, wait!"

"And THIS money is going right to Mr. Kawena!"

"No…no faaaaiiiiiirrrr!!!"

...huh?

Nani opened her eyes. She was outside, on a grassy field, near a huge lake, from what she could dizzily tell.

"W-w-what happened?" She finally asked out loud.

"Well, the plane was slowing down, and it almost went into the lake, but it finally slowed to a stop in time." Lilo explained, sitting next to her. "After me and Nick got you guys all out of the plane along with our stuff, we looked around. And…guess where we are?"

"Where?"

Lilo pointed across the lake. Nani looked. "Is…is that…"

"The Disney Polynesian Resort." Nick finished, walking over to her. "Now, then…everyone else already woke up. They're all waiting at Disney World for you. Uh…well, almost everyone. Bonnie and Clyde woke up after the plane landed and helped get some medical attention for Pleakley, so nobody was watching those jerks that set us up escape. I think they took something, but I'm not sure what..." Nick rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Um…well, anyway, Stitch, Pleakley, Jumba, Bonnie and Clyde are all waiting at the resort along with the police. We'd better go meet them."

Nani rubbed her head. "So…we…we're all okay?" She asked. Nick nodded. "Thank Lilo. She's the one who flew us in safe." "Aw, Nick, you helped too." "Not so much this time. I just panicked, but you…you were the real hero."

Nani immediately hugged her sister tight. Nick smiled as the two eagerly embraced. "Let's get going." Lilo told her sister. "We've got 2 and a half days of vacation here left…let's use them well."

Meanwhile, quite a long distance away…

"I can't believe we gotta hitch a ride."

"Well I cannot and WILL not carry any of you."

"Party-pooper."

"Just be sure to get your story right, blubber butt."

Gantu grumbled. "I know, I know. I'm Samoan, you're all pets."

Hamsterviel groaned. "And to top it off, my precious cape is all ruined! Look at these tears! Do you have any idea how long it takes to stitch together-ugh…oh well…at least…"

He held up a small little key that caught the sun.

"At least…it wasn't a total loss…"

He grinned…

Nani grinned. "Come on guys, bunch together with Mickey Mouse." She told her family, as they stood at the bridge in front of Cinderella Castle with Mickey Mouse.

"Okay!" Lilo and Nick immediately said. "Oketaka!" Stitch agreed.

Jumba brushed his hair back. Pleakley smiled happily and brushed his wig hair a little.

"All right, the camera's set." Nani said, running over to join them. "Say _Aloha_!"

"All right. One…two…_aloha_!"

CLICK!


	47. Murphy's Law

**CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE**

MURPHY'S LAW

"Owww…my _heaaaad_…"

Nick woke up, groggily blinking his eyes. He had a headache the size of his step-brother. Which reminded him, when he saw Jordan, tell him to quit the smoking habit and get back to that video game addiction he'd had for a while, which had been kinda cool in Nick's eyes.

The first thing Nick realized when he awoke was that the weather was oddly calm. Not hot, not cold just…calm. The calm before the storm. The skies were darkened and cloudy, and no sun poked through, not even a tiny shred. The whole island simply seemed to be…

Well, it was as if someone had hit the "off" button on the whole place!

The second thing Nick realized was that there was a fire blazing about ten feet away from him, in a ring of stones in a little pit. And sitting in front of it was Hamsterviel, looking into it intently. He saw Nick was awake and smiled. "Glad to see you're up!" He said cheerfully, in more simple, somehow more…innocent…voice.

The third thing Nick realized, just as he was getting up from lying down on his back, was that…that…

Hamsterviel had taken off his cape…and had made it into a headrest…for him. Nick picked it up and looked at Hamsterviel. "Darn decent of you." Nick said, tossing the cape to Hamsterviel, who caught it with one hand. "Thanks." The alien said. "I needed something to stoke the fire." He tossed it into the fire, which now began to burn more fiercely and passionately. Nick blinked, confused.

"Uh, why'd you do that? It's your cape, isn't-"

"No, that's cape was Jacques's. I like vests myself, and I prefer the color blue over red. I used to like red capes, but then Jacques started copying me, so I switched to blue vests and stuck with them. I think that was um…let's see…oh yeah! 2 years after we graduated!"

"Oh really? Me too, I've got this blue vest at home and…hey wait, are you trying to pull one over on me? I've seen these TV shows were the bad guys pretend to have amnesia in order to trick the good guys you know! So what are you up to, Hamsterviel?"

"Look, my BROTHER likes being called Hamsterviel, or "Dr. Hamsterviel". And he only liked family and friends calling him Jacques or Jack. I'm Rupert von Hamsterviel, his twin brother."

Nick blinked. "Uh…did you say "twin brother"?"

"Yeah! He and I were both enrolled in E.G.U and belonged to E.G.O with Jumba Jookiba, know him?"

"Yeah I know Jumba, he's…well, he's family."

"Huh? I don't see the resemblance."

"It's kinda complicated. So both you AND your brother were enrolled in E.G.U, the university for evil geniuses?"

"Yes, and it was there that my brother and I really began to separate in terms of what we liked to do when it came to all things evil. I liked playing pranks a lot and so did Jumba as a matter of fact, so when we graduated E.G.U we opened up a joke shop…"

"Really?"

"Yep, and Jumba around that time began fiddling around with genetic engineering, and he created "Shrink"."

"Shrink? Oh yeah, I've heard Lilo talk about him! He makes your size change, right?"

"Yep! Jumba kinda made him as a sort of "pet". It didn't count as an illegal genetic experiment because he got this permit and…wait…I don't even know who you are! Who are you?"

"My name's Nicholas Michael Grey, but I just liked being called Nick Grey, thanks. Or better yet, just simply "Nick", if you don't mind."

Hamsterviel nodded, smiling. "It's okay. I just like being called Rupert. Not "Rupey" or "Rube" or "Dr. Hamsterviel". Just "Rupert". Is that okay?"

Nick nodded back. "Sure, sure." He replied. "Go on. Uh, why not tell me how Jumba got involved with creating illegal genetic experiments in the first place? If Shrink was just a prank, then…"

"Well see, the permit Jumba got, it was kinda a favor from a judge that liked him. And it was only good for a set amount of pets."

"I'm guessing, uh…100 or something?"

"Yeah! Exactly 100. How'd you know?"

"A lucky guess. So after 100, Jumba started getting into an experiment-making groove or something?"

"At first he'd just been making experiments because he wanted the company and he wanted to make things that would make the lives of people-he-didn't-like annoying. Then after he made 100, he went on the whole "Mad scientist bent" and…"

"Started making living weapons of mass destruction?" Nick asked. Hamsterviel nodded, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, I guess. I was only around up to 200, about four years after graduation. Jumba was getting better and faster at making experiments."

"I'll bet." Nick said, nodding in understanding.

"After that it's all a blank." "Huh?" "I don't remember any other experiments being made because the last thing I remember is Jacques lying dead on the floor." "Oh…" Nick said softly. "My brother…well, he kinda not only egged Jumba on, he started to fund Jumba's experiments so that Jumba could make more. In fact, he'd been involved with shady dealings since he entered E.G.U. He fell into a bad crowd. He started making all sorts of deals with this jerk named Rahry Amackenn. His first deal with Rahry kinda paid for some necessary equipment that was used to make Shrink and…"

"And half of the 100 series!" Suddenly it made sense. Jacques had paid for the equipment that had made the experiments and had later done all he could to make sure that his paw was deep in Jumba's wallet, funding his experiments in some way or another…

"But I don't remember what happened after Experiment 200 was made. What happened? What am I even doing here? The last thing I remember is that Jacques was in some ceremony for E.G.O with Rahry, and I remember seeing him collapsing on the floor after seeing Rahry…" Hamsterviel trailed off.

"Seeing Rahry what?"

"It looked like soup was coming out of his ears, but…it wasn't soup…it wasn't soup…and…and then Jacques suddenly grabbed his chest, he looked awfully pale, I thought he was gonna puke, but then he fell down and…and I rushed over, I felt his pulse, but I think I knew that he had died, and then...that's it. Nothing. Blank from that moment until now."

Nick looked at Hamsterviel and blinked. Should he trust the alien or not?

He made a choice.

"I think we'd better go get the Time Board and get outta here."

"The what now?"

Nick sighed and hung his head slightly, shaking it. He looked back up at Hamsterviel, slightly annoyed. "The Time Board! Do you know what a surfboard is?" "A surf…oh yeah! Jumba told me about it! He said he'd been to Earth and seen a whole bunch of stuff, surfboarding included. Yeah, he told me what it looks like. Is that what I was on? That thing that got stuck in the-" "YES!" Nick practically shouted, understandably stressed. "Now where is it?" "Uh, they took it. The weird humans."

Silence.

Then…

"_What_ weird humans?"

"The guys who had all the same face. A local, from the looks of it. He was wearing this ugly-looking brown outfit that looks like it's from the cover of "Dictator Monthly" and they all had fancy hair."

A chill suddenly went through Nick, and he didn't know why he asked what he did. "Uh…did they have brown eyes?"

Hamsterviel nodded. "Yeah, and nice buttocks."

Nick raised ay eyebrow and looked at Hamsterviel. "Uh, what?"

"Don't gimme that look, I couldn't help it!" The alien exclaimed, aggravated. "The outfits were skintight, REALLY skintight! They were coming over here because they heard a noise, so I dragged you to safety, way into this forest. Yeah, I dragged you. I know I don't LOOK that strong, but I am!"

Nick raised a single eyebrow and frowned slightly, making a face of "Okaaaay, little bit weird", but inside he was freaking out. Hamsterviel had just described DAVID KAWENA!

_Calm down, Nick. Calm down. There's a logical explanation. _

_Yeah, and that explanation is you're going nuts!_

**SFX: Cuckoo! Cuckoo!**

_There's no way Hammy could have seen more than one David Kawena!_

_It doesn't matter. You can't stay here. They might come back, and it's not safe. Besides, what if Lilo and the others are in serious danger? You've gotta find them!_

"Uh…did your watch just make the sound of a cuckoo clock?"

Nick rubbed his eyes and looked up at the starless, cloudy sky. "Uh…maybe you'd better come with me. We've gotta go somewhere a bit safer." Hamsterviel sat up, nodding. "Okay, do you have a place in mind?" "Yeah, I do. We just need to find the town, and from there I can find my way to Lilo's house." "Lilo? Who's she?" "I'll tell you everything when we get there."

Once they were out of the forest, it was easy to follow the street into town. The first building Nick saw was none other than the library…which was boarded up completely.

Odd.

Very odd.

A lot of the buildings were boarded up in fact. The windows, the doors, not a single crack was left open. And the roads were, for some reason, ice-cold. Nick could feel the chill through his sneakers. It was like out of some horror movie almost. There wasn't a single living creature out.

Nick checked his watch. 8:58 PM. He'd better get to the house, he was feeling sleepy. He and Hamsterviel made their way through the streets and finally arrived at the street that led up to Lilo's driveway. Nick ran up it, heading for the house as fast as he could, heart beating faster and faster with every single step.

_Please let them be okay, please let them be okay…_

Hamsterviel ran after him, and he was surprisingly fast. But he came to an abrupt halt when Nick suddenly stopped, looking at the house.

"Uh…does it not normally look that way?" Hamsterviel asked. "No." Nick replied quietly.

The windows were broken. There were plasma burns all over the walls, some roof tiles had come off, and the door was broken into several small pieces. The paint had faded and was now dull, and there were cracks everywhere on the house.

"It doesn't look like this normally at all." Nick said again in that same, quiet tone. He walked up the stairs and through the doorway, with Hamsterviel right behind.

There was blood all over the floor that was right in front of the stairs that led upstairs.

A LOT of blood. And there was a small trail leading upstairs.

The house was wrecked, there were cracks all over the walls, the paintings and photos had been ripped off and the furniture was wrecked…but the only thing Nick saw was the blood.

He sprinted up the stairs, two at a time, and found the elevator to Lilo's room. The trail led there…and stopped. Nick looked over at Hamsterviel who was sniffing it. "Hmm…" He said. "This is really, REALLY old. Years old. Just like the blood downstairs. I'm guessing…uh…9, 10 years at the most."

Nick looked at him with incredible fascination. "How can you _tell_?" He asked.

"My nose is extremely sensitive, and I took a class in Forensics that was a big help. Now I can identify how old things are. Usually I need my little kit that I keep in my room when it comes to most stuff like dead bodies and stuff but when it comes to just simply blood it's just natural-hey, is that an elevator? Built into a house?"

"Uh…yeah."

"COOOL! Lemme on, lemme on!" Hamsterviel begged, jumping up and down.

"Okay, hold on. Lemme see if it still works."

Nick stepped on the activator pad. Nothing happened.

"It makes sense, I guess. It's obviously been years since it was last used." Hamsterviel said, looking around. Nick looked up into the shaft that led up to Lilo's room. Maybe…just maybe…

"Stand back." Nick told Hamsterviel. He walked to the middle of the hallway and took a deep breath. "METAL DANCE!" He began to dance. "Do the Monkey with me, come on!" Nick swung his arms up and down, as if shimmying up a vine, swiveling his body and shaking his butt with vim and vigor. Hamsterviel was astounded, but then when Nick's hands and feet became metallic before his eyes…

"That…that was coooool! Do it again, do it again!"

"Jump on my shoulders. I'm gonna climb up the elevator shaft."

"Cooool!"

Nick jumped into the air and slammed his fist deep into the shaft wall, gaining a handhold. Then he began to climb up, jamming his metallic hands and feet into the wall as he climbed up, up…

Finally he reached the top. Lilo's room. And it was the only room in the house that looked normal…okay, it was all really dusty, and it irritated Nick's eyes, but he blinked involuntary tears away and walked over to Lilo's bed, pulled out, from underneath, a photo scrapbook. Specifically, the scrapbook containing all of the experiments.

"Here, Hammy. Sit on down." "Don't call me Hammy."

But he sat down all the same. Nick opened up the scrapbook and pointed to the first experiment photo. "This is Shrink, right?"

"Yeah! That's him! Wait, how do you have all these pictures?"

"Know THIS one?"

"Oh, that annoying Yapper? How is she?"

"Her name's Gigi now. She lives with Myrtle Edmonds, who's kind of a spoiled brat."

"I see."

"She's a red-head."

"Well everyone knows red-heads are more dangerous than any other kind of person."

Nick blinked. "Uh, what?"

"I'm kidding! Kidding! Tell me though, why do you have all of these pictures of the experiments? Are they here on Earth? What happened?"

"Well, I suppose in order to tell you how they ended up here on Earth, I'd better tell you about my girlfriend, Lilo Pelekai…and how she met Stitch." "Stitch?" "Experiment 626." "WOW, Jumba made that many? Do you own any?" "No, I don't own Stitch, or Lilo or any of the Pelekai household, Chris Sanders and Jess Winfield do." "Huh?" "Lemme explain their story. It really started when Lilo's parents died in a car crash at around age 5."

Hamsterviel's eyes opened wide. Then he looked sadly down at the carpeting. "Oh…my…my dad's dead too."

"He is? What happened?"

"My father was a mad scientist, my mother owned a big company bent on destroying civil liberties, my sister was a drug runner, my grandma wore a mustache, my grandpa wore a dress…" "Goodness gracious, no WONDER you're a mess!"

"Yeah, my grandma and grandpa actually owned these huge intergalactic companies, they were the CEOs, and had a lot of people in the Galactic Alliance on their payroll. They basically were…well, ruling over the Milky Way Galaxy."

"Oh wow." Nick said, mouth so wide open you could have fit a tennis ball into it.

"They were only 25 when they came to power. They only gained that company and all of their power by…uh…well, killing the original owners and taking their place." "HOW?" "Well, first they shoved them into a-" "No, how'd they take their place?" "Well, the guys who originally owned the companies had only just started, and they hadn't gotten all the paperwork signed yet. They should have signed it, but they were lazy. They had a whole bunch of papers left to sign that would establish their ownership of the company…"

Nick got it. "Oh! So your grandparents instead signed the company away to themselves? And nobody ever arrested them?" "Nobody ever found the bodies because my grandparents stuffed the guys into a-"

Nick held up a hand and shook his head quickly. "**Don't tell me**. Anyway, what about your mom and dad?" "My grandparents wanted the family to get into the galactic domination business. You know…that old hat."

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I know. Go on."

"So Dad became an evil mad scientist and Mom ended up running one of my grandparent's smaller companies, and my sister got involved in the drug trade and the black market. My brother and I were sent to school, but our future was already picked out. We were both gonna end up in E.G.U no matter what we did. Our folks knew people who knew people who knew people."

"Ah." Nick said simply.

"At school, Jacques and I were the really new kids. Since we were so smart we were put in 5th grade on our first year." "Oh wow." "That's nothing. Jumba was two years ahead of us. Our school was grades 1-12 you see…" "So Jumba was the smartest kid in school?" "Yep! And me and Jacques were the second smartest kids. But…well, our first day sucked. I got shoved into my locker!"

"What about your brother?"

"Jacques bit them and they ran for it. But _I_ don't like fighting."

"Ah."

"Luckily, Jumba came to my rescue, he managed to crack the locker code and he helped me out. When I found out we had Chemistry 1st period together, and the same schedule, we began to become partners in everything…and then friends. And Jacques kinda took a big liking to Jumba too. At first it was just a friendship-by-association, but then it became something more."

"Aw, that's kinda sweet! So that's how Jumba met you." "Yep! Wait, you were telling me about this Lilo girl, and this Stitch character. So Lilo's parents died in a car crash. Then what happened?"

Nick sighed. He knew what was going to happen if he told Hamsterviel the whole story. And if the alien WAS telling the truth and he really was Rupert and not Jacques, then Rupert would be shocked at what he'd done as his brother.

But tell him the story Nick did. And when he'd finished with the fight on the Time Board…

"I know this must come as one heck of a shock, but I don't know how to put this stuff gently. Maybe someone who's better with words could have told you, but I don't know anything about this future, and I just thought that, well, the sooner I told you the better…."

Hamsterviel was looking at Nick, unblinking. Then he looked down at his paws. Suddenly he started bawling and covered his eyes with his paws and sobbed over and over. Nick put the scrapbook away and looked at Hamsterviel, naturally concerned. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Take me home!" Hamsterviel sobbed, grabbing Nick's shirt, looking into Nick's hazel eyes with his own red ones. "I _can't_ have done all those things! _Please_ tell me I didn't do those things!" "I…uh…" Nick was unable to say anything, nothing helpful coming to mind.

Hamsterviel tore away from Nick, and shoved his hands into his eyes, weeping hard. "Take me home! Pleaaaase!" He sobbed. It was a really sad sight, seeing a little bunny/hamster cry. "Please! I can't stand this! Take me home! I wanna go hooome!"

Nick did the only thing that came to mind: he hugged the alien. "Hey, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. Just let it out." Hamsterviel slowly began to calm down, his cries become less and less harsh, eventually turning into quiet sniffling. He lowered his paws and placed them on his knees, wiping away tears from his eyes with his arm.

"I feel sick." Hamsterviel said. "I feel really, really sick."

Nick hugged him a bit tighter. "It's okay." He said softly, comfortingly. It reminded him of when he'd done this to his brother after "The Incident". "It'll be okay. You're better now."

"I wanna go home please." Hamsterviel said softly. "I can't stand this." "You can't go home. I don't know how to get you home."

Hamsterviel broke free and ran across the room, jumping up on Stitch's bed, getting under the covers. "Just…just leave me alone!" He cried out.

Nick sighed and got up. "Look, I know you don't want to accept that you may have hurt people, but…well, it's the truth! I don't know what else to tell you."

Hamsterviel was silent. Then he got out of the covers. "Okay…okay. I believe you, but…I feel awful. Really awful." Nick scratched his head. "Hmm…I know! Do you like disco?"

"Disco?"

Nick immediately began to disco dance, pointing up at the ceiling, shaking his butt, and…well, grooving! "Burn, baby, burn! Disco inferno! Burn, baby, burn! Burn that mother down!"

Hamsterviel blinked slowly, then laughed a little. "You're funny! Hey, wait…how'd you do that uh…that weird thing with your hands and feet before? What did you call it? "Metal Dance"?" "Oh, it's magic!" "Magic?" "I think so. Or maybe it's superpowers…or maybe they're both!"

"…Thanks for uh…the dancing. I…I just gotta keep positive." Rupert said, mostly talking to himself. "Everything will be alright!" Suddenly something struck him and he raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it was pretty cool climbing up that elevator shaft, wasn't it?"

Nick grinned, turning slightly red in the cheeks. "Well, I guess. I mean, how many people can say they've climbed an elevator shaft?"

"Luke Skywalker did it." WHACK! "Ow, don't hit me!"

Nick whipped his head around. Hamsterviel's eyes widened. There were Crystallene, Sparky (who had spoken before), Gunner (who had hit Sparky), Page…and Stitch. All of them looked haggard and rather unkempt, but Stitch's whole…well…aura…was frightening and unfamiliar.

"Another clone? And what do we have here? That stupid rat finally shows his face." Stitch snarled, in perfect yet angry English.

He had a plasma gun in each hand.

"Stitch? Sparky? Gunner? Crystallene? Page?" Nick blinked, confused. "What's going on? Where are Lilo and the others?" "Don't play dumb, clone. You and the alien are dead meat." Gunner said, chewing on a toothpick. Stitch sneered, fingers twitching on his plasma guns. "What are you doing, Stitch? I'm your friend!" Nick asked, frightened by the look in Stitch's eyes… and by the fact that Stitch was holding two guns on him and two on Hamsterviel.

"You're not my friend." Stitch snarled, and he pulled the triggers.

BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

Nick and Hamsterviel fell into unconsciousness. The last word each of them heard before they completely went out cold was…

"Gotcha."

Nick woke back up some time later, and found that he was tied hard to a tree with metallic bonds…

That Hamsterviel was also tied to one, and was about two feet away to his right…

And that his pants had been taken off.

Along with his underpants.

And Stitch, with Crystallene, Gunner, Sparky and Page behind him, had two long, crystal needles in his hands, fingering them.

"Anytime you stick something sharp in someone's penis, it hurts like a bitch." Stitch said calmly. "But it hurts even worse when Sparky here connects up with said penis using his antennas…"

Sparky's antennae let off a brief sizzle and shower of sparks as he snickered.

Stitch continued. He might as well have been talking about the weather. "And then Sparky uses the crystal as a conductor to blow the penis up. It's kind of like watching a potato explode in the microwave."

"Yeah, it makes a weird sound." Crystallene said "Kinda like a…you know…" She started to demonstrate visually by gesticulation. "Starts off as sort of a woooo…and then a "KURSPLORT" sound, but it happens quick, like…" She snapped her fingers. "Like popcorn popping. Then the brain usually goes. It's really, like, cool."

Gunner took his toothpick out and put down the backpack he was wearing. "Enough talk. Let's do it, my main man. I'm so bored."

"Hold up. First we get as much information out of them as we can." Stitch said. Sparky sniggered. "Oh, you're no fun!" He suddenly ran up to Nick and began jabbing him in the stomach. "Hey, look at the clone! He's white as a sheet! Hey clone, why the flour face?"

Nick was utterly astounded and frightened. He was beyond the point of pissing his pants. The fact that he wasn't wearing pants meant nothing.

"Hey, this'll cheer you up!" Sparky cackled. "You're not the first we've done this on! We've done it about…uh…hey, Stitch, you're good with numbers. How many times have we done this?"

"One thousand, nine hundred and ninety one times."

"Right. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Very cool. Gunner said. "Hey my main man, can I do it this time, huh?"

"Sparky, get back now." Sparky returned to Stitch's side as Stitch held the needles up. "And Gunner, no."

"Awww."

"Now then clone, are you going to tell us why you've captured Hamsterviel or do we have to make this nasty? To tell the truth, we're going to kill you anyway. Or at least I will. But we can make this quick and easy, or…heh-heh…_long_ and _hard_."

The needles glinted a little. Hamsterviel looked from Nick to Stitch, a horrified expression on his furry face.

"Oooh, you gonna get it now, main man." Gunner sniggered.

Nick did what anyone in his situation might have done.

He starting freaking out and screamed, squirmed around and jumped up and down, hyperventilating.

"_AAAA!!! LEMME GO, LEMME GO, LEMME GO! HELP! MOMMY! DADDY! HELLPPPP! LEMME GOOOOOO!!!"_

He was shaking and squirming around so much that he broke free of the metal bonds. Stitch dropped the needles. Crystallene gasped, hands flying to her mouth. Gunner's toothpick fell from his mouth and Page, who hadn't been blinking as he'd stared at Nick…blinked.

"You…you broke FREE?" Stitch finally said, astounded. "But you…but…but Nick clones don't have the strength to do that! We know, they've tried!"

"I can't believe you're threatening me, Stitch!" Nick screamed, clenching his knuckles. "I'm your _friend_! I'm family!"

"You…you…" Stitch regained some calm. "You're not my friend. You're a clone. You're nobody's friend. And you're not related to me at all, you-"

"WHAT ABOUT _OHANA_!?!" Nick shouted.

Stitch stopped in mid-sentence. The experiments were all looking intently at Nick, amazed. Sparky was amazed. He barely managed to form the words he did. "O…_Ohana_? But…but not even the Kaiser's troops can speak Hawaiian, it's totally forbidden!" Stitch shook his head, growling. "You…you can't be Nick! You can't be! You're just…you…you've got to be lying! This is all a trick!"

"**DON'T-CALL-ME-A-LIAR**!" Nick screamed, clenching his fist tight, knuckles turning whiter and whiter.

For a few seconds nobody said anything. Then Page spoke.

"You say you are Nick, and your mannerisms are indeed like him. But there is another reason I believe you. There is…an aura around you…one that nobody can ever replace. I truly believe that…that you are my friend." And with that last bit, Page ran up to Nick and hugged him. The others followed suit, save for Stitch, who stood there, blinking.

Finally the hug ended. Nick looked at Stitch. "Stitch? Where's Lilo and the others?"

"Nick…it's really you…oh GOD!" Stitch ran up and hugged Nick very tightly, sobbing. "I missed you so muu-uuh-uuuch!" "It's okay, I'm back, I'm back." Nick said. "Wait a minute, tho!" Crystallene suddenly exclaimed. "So if you're the real Nick, why are you hanging with Hamsterviel? How come you two were all chummy up in Lilo's room?"

Nick rubbed the back of his head. "Well, he says that his real name is Rupert von Hamsterviel, and that Jacques is his twin brother. He also says that he doesn't remember anything after Jacques died in an experiment during some E.G.O ceremony."

Page stepped towards Hamsterviel. "Then I shall determine if he is telling the truth." He walked up to Hamsterviel, who looked very nervous. "Uh…whuh…what are you?..."

"Look into my eyes." Page whispered. He reached up with one of his furry hands and moved Hamsterviel's head to face him, then gently held the head firm by Hammy's cheek.

Hamsterviel looked into Page's eyes. Brilliant red into the surface of a pond. They were gentle eyes…hypnotic, almost. And they were kind as well, and possessed a kind of deep, inner beauty to them. Page's eyes stared deep into Hamsterviel's, and they seemed to say "I won't hurt you…I _care _about you…" They were very nice eyes, VERY nice…you could get lost in them…

And that's exactly what happened. Hamsterviel suddenly found himself unable to look away, and then…his eyes clouded over, as if he was not there, tied to the tree at all, but miles away. And then Page's body began to shine like a brilliant white sun. Soon he became a living, sparkling mass of light, that entered into Hamsterviel, who's body shuddered…

Then Hamsterviel closed his eyes and then re-opened them. When he did, they were pure white for a few moments, and then they were the color of a pond's surface.

"Wowwww…" Nick said. "Amazing!" "Page can possess any being, living or dead. He turns his body into light energy particles. Amazing, isn't it? He's able to completely read a person's mind, make them do anything he wants them to do. And if Hamsterviel really IS who he says he is, then…"

"He is." Hamsterviel/Page said suddenly. "He is not lying. He really is Rupert von Hamsterviel. However, I…I cannot see everything in his memory. His natural defenses…they're amazing. A truly traumatic experience has greatly affected him, blocking off his memory of the past 20 years." "Well then, come on out of him and let's let him go." Stitch ordered.

Hamsterviel/Page slumped, and his eyes closed. Then the light shot out from him, quickly reforming into Page, who looked over at Nick, who gazed at Page with total and absolute "WOW" amazement. "That was Frickin A!" Nick exclaimed. "You ROCK, Page!" Page blushed. "It was nothing, really." Page then walked over to Hamsterviel and released him from his metal bonds by touching a small little button on the back of them.

Hamsterviel fell down to the ground. He woke up with a start and stood up shakily. "What the? What uh…what just happened to me?" "You got possessed." Nick said, voice still filled with awe. Hamsterviel's eyes opened wide. "Wow! I got POSSESSED? Coooool!"

Nick turned back to Stitch. "So Stitch, where's everyone else? And who was that "Kaiser" guy you were talking about?"

Stitch looked down at the ground, ears drooping. Nick knew that look. Stitch was ashamed to say what was on his mind.

"Stitch? Where's everyone else?" Nick asked, only this time his voice was a little bit more…strained.

Stitch finally spoke. "Nick…Lilo, David and Nani…they're…they're dead." He said, voice soft.

Nick's heart stopped for a single second. Pain shot through his chest, gripping, HARD…

"What?" He finally asked, lip quivering.

"When…when we came back to Hamsterviel's base, we saw you and him enter the time portal. We were both distraught. Nani, Jumba and Pleakley were all there, and so were Angel, David and Heartwing. Lilo and I were…were so…we were sobbing, we couldn't help it. Nani couldn't control us, and Jumba…"

**TEN YEARS AGO, A FEW MINUTES AFTER NICK AND HAMMY VANISHED…**

Lilo and Stitch held each other tightly, sobbing. Tears flowed freely, becoming a puddle. Nani and David who were above them, tried to comfort them, but to no avail. Heartwing and Angel were trying to stop their crying as well, but Heartwing was crying himself, those white, shining tears flowing freely down his cheeks, and Angel was hysterical. Nani herself was close to losing it, and Jumba was tearing the underground silo apart, looking for the Time Board plans, desperately searching and not finding them. He ripped open a desk drawer and snarled.

"He destroy-ed the plans! Now is impossible to build another time board! Will take weeks to make up new one that will track down boy and stupid-"

Suddenly he noticed something rolling across the floor, which had been freed when he'd ripped the desk drawer open…a blue experiment pod.

With the designation 628 printed on it in small white letters…

Rolling towards Lilo and Stitch's small puddle of tears.

Jumba's eyes widened. He dove for it, hands grasping…he missed, and accidentally pushed it further. It rolled onto the puddle.

"RUN!" Jumba hollered. Everyone looked down at the rapidly growing experiment pod and rushed over to exit ladder with Jumba. Pleakley, who had been impulsively cleaning up broken medicine bottle shards that had been scattered all over the floor of the bathroom (The result of Jumba's rampage) stuck his head out and gasped.

Suddenly…there he was. Experiment 628. He sneered at the cowering Pelekai household, and paid no attention to Pleakley. He looked at Lilo and Stitch and laughed softly.

"So YOU are Lilo Pelekai and my…heh…COUSIN, 626, who the girl named "Stitch". You know, Hamsterviel gave me a name as well…pah. How idiotic he was. That dumb rodent saw so much _potential_ in you, 626, and you choose to spend your time and talents with that foolish, naïve little HUMAN girl? What a pathetic sight. A lost space dog in the arms of a lonely little girl."

"Shut up!" Stitch snarled. "Please go away." Lilo begged, frightened by 628's eyes, which peered deep into hers. "How do you know who she is? Or who Stitch is?" Nani asked, frightened but fascinated.

Jumba looked guiltily at the floor, and drew a small circle with his foot. "I uh…design-ed 628 to be self-aware even in pod form, to have total free will, and…and to have powers of 626, only much more so. Furthermore, experiment is capable of replication of experimental powers by physical contact, like…like Nick."

628 stared at Lilo. "Please go away." She begged softly once again. "I suppose I owe you, your "uncle" and your little puppy some thanks. After all, if not for you, I wouldn't have been activated. So I'll see if I can find some use for you when I take over this planet, and then the whole galaxy…starting with your lovely little paradise. But as for the rest of you…"

He looked at Nani, Angel and Heartwing, casting a contemptuous glance at Pleakley before turning back to the "real" threats. "I have no need for you ALIVE, save for perhaps Angel. You can be my personal toy, perhaps…" Angel scowled at him and bared her teeth.

"As for you, dear cousin, and you, Nani Pelekai…and I'll get the "noodle man" too…time for you to…" 627 grinned cruelly. "Disappear!"

He flexed his claws and stretched all four of his arms, baring his yellowish teeth. He took a step forward.

Pleakley looked up and saw that 628 was under a chandelier that was hanging from a rope. He looked at his broom and saw the large glass shards in the end. He held the broom up like a javelin and tossed it with all his might at the rope that held the chandelier up.

SLICE! CRASH! TINKLE-TINKLE!

The chandelier had landed hard on 628, breaking the crystals that had been hanging from it. 628 snarled as he attempted to free himself from the chandelier, getting out several dozen anti-gay comments that Lilo never heard because Nani covered her ears with her hands. "RUN AWAY!" Pleakley yelled, and everyone scrambled up the ladder, escaping.

**THE PRESENT…**

"But we hadn't seen the last of him. Two hours later he showed up at our house with 561, 621 and 627. Apparently he got them on HIS side. 625 and Gantu weren't there, we found out they'd split. 628 attacked us, he…he wounded me and…he killed Nani and David. I ran for the stairs with Lilo, trying to save her, but she insisted that I run. She…she sacrificed herself for me. And now…"

Stitch sighed. "She…she's dead. First 561 did…did IT to her…and then…then they…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

Crystallene spoke up. "If you want, I-I can show…can show you the body, that…might help, I dunno…"

Nick nodded slowly. Crystallene motioned for him to follow her, and she led him off, back to Lilo's house, to the backyard. She walked over to a small cross of wood with a little gem in the center. There was a large patch of grass covering the grave.

"Nick, could you?"

Nick nodded. He held out one hand. "Bring the heat." He said quickly, and lazily, not caringly, flicked the fireball onto the grass. It went up in an instant. When the ash had finally settled Crystallene blew it all away, revealing…

A coffin made of beautiful, shining crystal, like a diamond. It reminded Nick of the Jesus that he had seen in Father Joe's church. But Father Joe was far from his mind right now. What WAS on his mind was what happened to be in the coffin.

"Oh God." Nick whispered, plopping onto his knees, reaching out and touching the part where Lilo's face was. She looked normal in every single way, only she hadn't aged as a result of being perfectly preserved in the crystal. Okay, she looked a little bit shallow, and her neck looked…odd…but other than that, she was as wonderful as ever

"Stitch…uh…found her body. She'd had her neck broken. He went to Father Joe's church as soon as he could and grabbed Page and me. Gunner and Sparky were there as well, they were helping me and Page out with some cleaning…"

"Oh Jesus Christ…" Nick whispered, feeling hot, bitter tears form in his eyes. His chest was flaring with unbelievable pain. Crystallene rubbed the back of her neck, looking down at the ground, unsure of what to do. "Nick, I know this must come as a shock-"

"Go away." Nick found himself saying angrily.

"What?"

"I said go away. **NOW**." He spat the last word out with unbelievable ferocity.

"Oh. Okay, okay. I'll…I'll go."

She left. Nick was alone.

"Oh, sweet Jesus Christ." He whispered. "This can't be happening. This CAN'T be…Lilo, you can't be gone…and Nani…and David…"

He sat there for what seemed to be hours, perhaps it was.

All he could do was stare at her face, at her, at Lilo.

His girlfriend.

His true love.

His _ohana_.

And then, when it was finally getting dark …Stitch appeared, slowly walking out of the dense forest and into the backyard. He touched Nick on the shoulder.

"Nick, are you okay?"

"…"

"Nick, say something."

"…"

"Nick, say something. PLEASE."

"………what do YOU want?" Nick asked, growling.

"To talk." Stitch replied. "I just want to talk."

"I don't want to talk. I want to be with my girlfriend, thank you very much. _Leave-Me-Alone_." Nick spat out every single word with biting anger. His body was tense, his knuckles white, his cheeks and the ground and coffin beneath him wet from his many tears, a small puddle had even formed.

"Nick, I know you're hurting, but we can't stay here, its not-"

"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Nick screamed. "LEAVE ME ALONE, **GOD DAMN IT**!"

Stitch withdrew a little. Then he suddenly growled. "Nick, do you think I don't miss her? Do you think I don't hurt every single day knowing that the person who showed me how to love and care is dead? You think I don't suffer knowing that someone whom I considered to be a mother, daughter, sister and best friend all in one is _lying in the fking **ground**_?!? It hurts, dammit! It hurts like hell! But…but she's dead. I can't change that. All I can do is try to avenge her."

Nick clenched his fist. "Who…killed…Lilo?" Nick asked, each word coming out as a snarl.

"One of Kaiser's generals. 621, in fact."

"Who the heck is this Kaiser?" Nick asked, clenching his fist so hard blood began to flow a little as one of his longer nails dug into his palm.

"628 took a name after he came to power. He's Kaiser now. And he's basically ruling the island. He made clones of David, you and me from DNA samples he found. He forced Amnesio to turn Angel and Jumba evil, and he gained control of the island. Heartwing, he…he's gone missing."

Nick was silent.

"Then he used his Generals to spread his sphere of influence out through America, and even to Japan. Australia's next to go. People can't trust their elected officials to do anything about Kaiser, he's got more than half of the people in the government under his thumb or indebted to him in some way. We…we need help, Nick. Nobody can come to the island, nobody can leave, we're trapped…we need help."

Nick stood up.

"How can I kick his **ass**?" Nick swore, every word dripping with righteous fury. Stitch smiled. "Now THAT'S the Nick I know. It's simple. We're meeting up with the resistance in a little while and we have to get to the observatory at the southern beach. They'll be able to tell you everything you might wanna know."

Nick nodded. Stitch walked off towards the driveway, where all of the other experiments were waiting. Nick was about to leave but he stopped, looking back at Lilo, wiping his eyes on his arm.

"I promise you Lilo…I'll save you. I don't know how, but I will. I promise. And I don't break my promises."


	48. How The Other Side Lives

**CHAPTER FORTY-SIX**

HOW THE OTHER SIDE LIVES…

"How are you doing, General 621? You look upset."

"I'm…fine. Well, as fine as I can get, anyway number #12489. I just…need some incense sticks and a drink or two. Go out to the bar and order me the strongest beer they've got, and then get me some "Focus" sticks from that place run by the hopped-up hippie."

"Yes sir!"

The clone of David walked off, saluting. 621 sighed and leaned back in his big, plush red chair. He was in his room, where he spent much of his time nowadays. Being a General had been exciting and thrilling at first, but then…

Things had truly changed on the island. And in the world.

The people in town had been changed as well thanks to Kaiser's "re-education" centers. Angel and Jumba had been changed thanks to Amnesio. And he, 561 and 627 had changed because of…well…

The point was…they'd all changed.

621 hopped out of the chair and walked over to the large mirror that was in his room. It was a very big room, bigger than the presidential suite at the fanciest hotel. Not as big or fancy as Kaiser's room, but still…it was very, _very_ nice. There were blue walls, oriental rugs on the ground, a huge, plush, downy bed…and the chandelier. In all of the General's rooms there was a chandelier. Because 627 was prone to clumsiness around them though, his chandelier was smaller and higher away from the ground.

Yeah, it was a very nice crystal chandler. But it didn't do much to keep 621 from feeling the things he felt right now.

He stared at his reflection. He was wearing his usual General's attire, a brown spacesuit made into a battle outfit. It had a circular crest on the front, a yellow orb with a thick, round casing. He had a black belt with the same crest on it, as well as black kneepads. The outfit didn't have any arms though…not that 621 wanted any. He liked it this way.

621 brushed his mohawk back and sighed.

"What's wrong with me?" He wondered out loud. He, of course, knew the answer. It had started to go downhill the moment he'd been ordered to kill her.

Lilo…

He hadn't wanted to.

She'd been a good girl. If it had been up to him, he would have gladly let her live. She had been a good, sweet girl, and he had truly wanted to spare her from the fate that had been forced on her. It had been terrible enough that Kaiser 628 had personally murdered Nani and David in front of Lilo. It had really affected 621 to see how Lilo had willingly given herself up, just to buy Stitch, Pleakley and Heartwing enough time to escape.

Then 561 had chosen that moment to have his way with Lilo.

627 had been laughing. He'd even gotten a camera from out of one of the kitchen drawers…

TEN YEARS AGO, LILO'S HOUSE…

Nani lay dead on the floor, disemboweled, along with David. Their intestines were slowly slipping out onto the floor, but at least they had died protecting the ones they'd loved, and died holding each other's hands. Blood seeped from the bodies, oozing out. 621 wasn't looking at that though. He was looking at Lilo.

Her world had been shattered. Stitch had escaped with the others, and now she was alone with **real monsters**. 628 watched calmly, sneering, as 561 advanced towards Lilo. 627 was rummaging through a drawer, calling out "Not yet, not yet, I haven't got a camera, not yet!"

A few moments later he found one, and rushed back into the hall. "Okay, go ahead! But take it slow! And try as many positions as possible, I want to put this up on the internet!"

621 looked into Lilo's eyes. She was absolutely terrified, like a deer caught in headlights. All she could do was scramble back slightly every time 561 took a step closer. She shook slightly, fear oozing off of her in waves, not only fear, but utter sadness. And those eyes…

They were slaughter sheep's eyes. She had resigned herself to a terrible fate. And all because she had wanted to protect her family.

561 suddenly stepped forward quickly, and jumped on her, pinning her down. He smiled cruelly and licked his lips with his forked, serpentine tongue. "I have waited so very, very long for this." He whispered to her, though the other experiments could hear. "Now your light shall become part of me. It will be very enjoyable for me. You may enjoy this _yourself_…if you don't resist, that is."

He reached out with one of his claws and reached around her, then moved it slowly up to the back of her neck. Then he ripped her muumuu off completely, so Lilo was now naked save for her underpants.

"Of course, you will probably bleed a lot. That is to be expected. But that is no worry of mine. Even your blood will taste delicious, as delicious as your very essence will no doubt be…"

He reached for her underwear. 627 snickered.

"You can feel free to scream, if you want. I don't mind one bit." 561 offered.

"Please, _don't_…" She begged.

"Don't bother speaking. Nobody is coming to help you. I have no pity within me, that is fact, and if you don't resist, this will be easier for me and ultimately for you. Now are you going to make this hard, or must I…"

He reached down and began ripping the underwear off. "Punish you a little before I begin?"

627 snickered. Lilo couldn't speak.

"Now, will you be a…heh-heh…good girl?" 561 asked calmly.

Lilo, a single tear running down her cheek, nodded slowly and closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands and trying not to scream.

"Good girl…" 561 said, voice frighteningly polite. "Now don't worry, the act is really quite beautiful."

The underpants were then completely ripped off. 561, closed the distance between him and Lilo slowly, manhood slowly going towards her…

621 looked away and out the window, ignoring the horrible sobbing wails of the girl as 561 thrust, practically burying himself in her as he growled and snarled horribly, the act completely changing his normally civilized (if not fairly cold) behavior. 627 was cackling all the while, taking pictures. 628 calmly watched, snacking on an apple. Lilo screamed suddenly, and 621 heard what was unmistakably the sound of blood squirting out. 561 began laughing cruelly, and then 621 heard slurping sounds and Lilo's moans of pain, and 561's chuckling.

621 walked out of the house, unable to take any more.

Half an hour of torture later, 561 had finished and 621 walked back inside, since the wails and growls and snarls had ended. The black dragon licked his lips free of essence and blood, and stood up, going to get a towel to wipe his manhood free. Blood and other fluids stained the floor. The blood would never be removed, 621 knew this for sure.

627 tossed the camera up and down in his palm. "Boy, that was sweeeet stuff. Man, you shoulda seen it! He tried to get her in the b-"

"Oh _shut up_." 621 snarled using telepathy. He did it so fiercely, with such anger, that 627 flinched, a headache momentarily springing up. "Fine, sheesh." 627 grumbled.

Lilo lay there, sobbing, unable to even get up. 628 walked over and grabbed her hair, lifting her head up so that she looked into his own eyes. "That was very, very fun to watch." He said cruelly, letting out a harsh laugh in her face. "Now it's time for you to die. But I'll let 621 do the honors." He released her and she fell back to the ground, still crying and reaching out for her muumuu.

621 looked at Lilo, eyes not blinking. "Take her out back and end her life." 628 instructed. "I don't care how you do it or what you do with the body. Just kill her."

627 blinked. Huh? Wait, 621 was actually going to…

621 nodded. "Very well. I'll just wait until she has her muumuu on." Lilo, shaking, put her muumuu back on and took a few shaking steps back away from 621, who was walking towards her. "Stop moving, Lilo Pelekai." 621 told her. She obeyed.

"Now come with me." He said, motioning towards the back door. Lilo nodded slowly, walking after him. "Meet me at the fat idiot's lab once you are finished. I have a plan. One that can't fail like the dumb bunny's plans always did." 628 said. "561, 627…let us go."

561 looked back at Lilo, eyes glimmering. He laughed softly, and bowed, facing her. Then he walked off with 628. 627 looked from 621 to Lilo, mouth open slightly, eyebrows furrowed, as if something was bothering him but he couldn't say exactly what. Finally he walked out.

Once they were in the backyard, Lilo and 621 stood only two feet from each other. Lilo was looking at the ground, not speaking. 621 was silent as well, sadly staring at Lilo's defeated, violated form. He walked forward and placed his top right hand on her left shoulder.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" He asked, one hand motioning towards her lower extremities and the other hand gently brushing where her heart was. "Losing your innocence…and your family." He then reached up and rested his top left hand on her other shoulder.

"If you want, you can cry." He offered softly. "I know it hurts, so you can cry."

Lilo suddenly burst into sobs, and her body shook with each "waauughh". 621 waited a few moments and then, slowly, gently, brought his body to her, hugging her, arms wrapped around her in an embrace.

"Its okay, it's okay. Let it out. Let it all out. Its okay, it's okay…" He whispered in an intimate voice. He gently stroked her back with his lower hands. His top right hand rested on the middle of her back and his top left hand gently caressed her neck. "I know how badly it hurts." 621 whispered to Lilo in her ear. "Don't worry. I'll make sure you never suffer ever again." He told her, gently kissing her on the forehead.

Lilo continued to cry, but now she was hugging 621 tightly, confused as well as well as being shattered and broken inside. She was confused because she didn't know how to feel now, since 621's gentle embrace was so soft and fluffy, like Stitch, her best friend, and yet firm and loving, like Nick, her boyfriend, when he hugged her. She didn't know how to feel. All she wanted was comfort, and 621 was providing it.

"I'll make all of your pain go away, I promise." He told her. "You'll never hurt ever again." He nuzzled her cheek, brushing away tears. "Tell me, is there anything you want to say before I end your suffering?"

Lilo finally spoke.

"Stitch…and-and Jumba…puh-please don't hurt them. Please."

How frail, how soft she was…

"I promise." He told her, nodding. He felt a heavy weight descend on him, as regret gripped him. "I have something to say. I…I always liked you, Lilo. You're a good, sweet girl. I will provide you with a merciful, kind death, and end your suffering forever. Close your eyes, Lilo Pelekai."

Lilo did, muscles tensing slightly. She felt 621's hand move to the back of her neck.

"Goodbye, Lilo." His intimate voice told her. He kissed her on the forehead once again.

"Rest in peace."

With a quick, swift twist of his hand, he twisted her neck. Not a lot, just…just enough to break her neck and kill her. She died instantly, not feeling anything. Her body slumped in 621's grip, and he laid her down on the ground, crossing her arms. A single tear dripped down from his eyes, falling onto her body.

"I know you're out there. Give her a decent burial."

621 walked off, heading for the driveway. As such, he didn't see Stitch come out of the bushes, face wracked with such intense pain…

PRESENT…

621 sighed. He wished Nick was still around, that things were normal, or at least as normal as things had gotten back then. Now he always felt crummy, and he never felt really happy doing anything. 561 had become more and more moody, and usually just shut himself up in his room. As for 627…

He'd gotten completely immersed in the whole "super-villain" thing the moment he became a General. He had even given himself a new name, one that "sounds perfect for a true super-villain".

Suddenly the doorbell to his room rang. 621 walked over to the door and opened it up. He raised an eyebrow. It was a couple of David clones, with…

"Sir, we thought you should see this." They handed him a surfboard with some serious tech on it…

The Time Board.

That meant only one thing…

"He's back." 621 realized out loud. "Find 627. Tell him that HE'S come back. Then go wake 561 from his nap and tell him the same thing. Tell both of them to meet me in my room, ASAP. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" They saluted, and handed 621 the Time Board before taking off. 621 calmly walked over to the closet and placed the Time Board inside, stroking it a little after he'd stood it up.

"So he's back. Good…very good. I could _use_ this…"

MEANWHILE…

Nick looked around as he, Rupert and the experiments quickly ran down the sidewalk, heading for the observatory at the beach. The town was eerily quiet, deserted completely. There wasn't a single soul out on the streets. He checked his watch and raised his eyebrows. "8:50 PM? I go to sleep _early_, but not a single person's on the streets at 8:50 at night? Go figure."

"There's a strict curfew. People have to be in their homes by 8. If they get caught on the streets, they get whipped." Stitch explained.

"Ouch." Nick thought. Suddenly something popped into his head. "Hey guys, how come you're the only experiments I've seen? Where are all the others? And where are Gantu and Myrtle and her friends?"

There was an incredibly awkward and very frightening silence. Finally Crystallene spoke up.

"Uh…we'd better not tell you that until-" Stitch suddenly stopped running and stiffened, his ears twitching slightly. "Oh crap!" "What?" "Footsteps! Someone's coming, probably a clone of you!" "Huh?" "Quick, hide in this alley!"

They ducked inside an alley that had several trash cans, a dumpster, and the writing "E-Vile Makes All The Girls Moan" written on the wall and calmly waited. Nick slowly stuck his head out. "There's a clone of ME coming over here?"

"Yeah. Kaiser cloned you, but he made all the clones stuck with a trigger inside that goes off when their body functions are shut down…the bodies melt, basically, when a clone dies, taking all of their clothes and stuff with them…which is a real pain. And the freak also permanently stuck your clones the age you were when you left, the age of the DNA sample he found."

"How come?"

"You'll have to ask him. He couldn't duplicate your powers, but he WAS able to somewhat duplicate your personality based on what his Generals and the townspeople told him you were like. The same thing went for David…and as for me, he made me a violent, destructive psychopath. Man, I hate my clones. They're freaking nasty."

"Like you were before you met Lilo?" Nick asked, eyebrow raised.

"Uh…" Stitch turned bright red. "Yeah…"

"Well he can't have really done a good job with his copying job!" Nick said stubbornly. "There's only one Nick Grey and that's me!"

But, when he saw what his clone looked like and how he was acting, Nick immediately was astounded. Yes, the clone was a perfect physical copy of himself. Sure, he was wearing a dark green jacket, black boots and gloves, and dark green pants as well as a cap to match, but other than that, he looked exactly like Nick himself did.

And as for what he was DOING…

He was singing as he walked.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't _deny_! And when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist, and a round thing in your face you get…SPRUNG! Wanna pull up front, cuz you noticed that butt was stuffed!"

Nick ducked back into the alley. "Crikey! That's a little bit…discomforting to see. He's so much like me it's scary."

"Well we can't have him like, see us and stuff! Think of something, guys!" Crystallene begged.

Suddenly Rupert spoke up. "Nick, I have an idea…"

A FEW MOMENTS LATER…

The clone continued to walk down the street, singing. "I like 'em round and big, and when I'm doin' my gig, I just can't help myself I'm acting like an animal! Now here's my scandal…I wanna getcha home, and-huh?"

"AAA! Help! I'm being attacked by rebels!"

Nick stuck his head and arms out of the alley, screaming. A clawed hand pulled him rudely back in with a snarl. The clone immediately pointed at the alley. "Hold it right there! I'm coming, buddy!"

The clone rushed towards the alley, quickly turning into it…

WHAM!

Nick's fist slammed into his face. He fell down, stunned. Then Nick suddenly grabbed him and lifted him up, fist arched back. _"There can be only one!"_ Nick said dramatically. "BLITZKREIG BOP!"

Nick twisted his fist and bopped the clone on the nose. The clone stood there, looking at his nose.

"What on Earth was tha-"

Suddenly the clone went "OW!" and fell down, nose suddenly flaring up with redness. Nick blew fake dust off of his fist. "Wow. I just kicked my own butt. How many people can say they've done THAT?"

"Luke Skywalker did it." Sparky said. Gunner smacked him. "Ow! Don't hit me!"

Page shivered. "This deceitful tactic of being someone you are not…it reminds me of my missions." Nick blinked. "Oh, right. You went on missions too…" "Only two. I converted after my first, and then after my second mission I refused to do any more. I couldn't even _finish_ the first or second, as a matter of fact." "You converted to Christianity after your first mission? How come?"

Page sighed. "Well, I was supposed to take over this religious leader on a far-off planet and make him and his followers commit suicide. When I first went there, I thought he was just a bible-thumper…" "Yeah, I've been called that." "But it turned out he was actually very…well, very much a good, faithful, decent Christian. I actually ended up doing more FOR him then AGAINST him. So I failed my first mission. But I was still kind of wild, and the idea of the Christian knight taking up arms kind of sparked something inside me."

"Oh really?"

"Well, you see, my next mission was to take out some psychopathic barbarians on another far-off planet. They were, uh…well, Satan worshippers, and I wasn't really, at that time, the kind of person who could forgive and forget." "So what exactly did you do?" "You know how it says that Jesus will judge sinners?" "Yes…why?" "Well, I uh…"

A LONG, LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY…

Three thick-headed (literally), skull-helmeted savages were sitting near a weapons silo. They had no shirts on, just thick pants and boots, as well as gloves. They had war-paint on their face, and no noses. They also had short, stubby ears and three eyes, one where their nose should be…plus they had red skin.

"Man, how come WE gotta guard all the weapons, Teddy B?"

"That's what the Boss man said, Jeffrey D. Hey, remember yesterday's sacrifice party?"

"Bitching, man. Bitching. Remember how that girl screamed?"

"I can't believe that other girl was a guy."

Another one who was sitting with them, a guy who looked a bit new, spoke up. "I don't think Samael cares if-"

"**Dude**! Don't say that! His name's Lucifer now. Lucifer, Satan, heck, even simply "The Devil", that's what we're supposed to call him by."

"Right, right. Sorry. I've only been a Dread Soldier for two days, Jeff."

"Yeah, yeah, it's okay, JWB. Hey…you dudes wanna see a dead body?"

"Dude, we just saw _eighteen_ yesterday at the orgy that happened right before the sacrifices!"

"I missed the orgy. Hey Teddy, when was it?"

"Two hours after the fountain gushed blood."

"Hey, I scored this girl's phone number, wanna hear?"

"Sure dude."

"Hey…guys…uh, who's that guy who everyone says is a pain in Satan's ass?"

"Uh, you mean the guy upstairs, the holy spirit or his son?"

"His son. What's the son's name again?"

"Supposedly Jesus Christ or Emmanuel or Yeho-Shua…I think."

"Is he that guy with the thorny crown, white robe and sandals?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, he got wings?"

"He rose up there somehow. Why you askin', JWB?"

The alien called JWB pointed into the woods. They all gaped at the sight. A being in a white robe, wearing sandals, an aura of light surrounding him, walked towards them. He was far shorter than them, and looked furry, but that light…and the robe…and the thorny crown…and…and WINGS…

PRESENT…

"Wait a tick. You dressed up as Jesus Christ?!?"

"…uh, yes, I did blaspheme in that way."

"Jeez, what happened NEXT?"

BACK TO THE STORY!

Page raised his hands up to the sky as the aliens came closer. "Yea, look upon me children, and knoweth me." He announced.

The aliens all looked at each other, blinking slowly.

"My children…thou should knoweth something."

Suddenly a knife slid out of Page's sleeve.

"I'm **packing**!"

Page suddenly jumped up stabbed one alien in the middle eye, another knife flying out from his other sleeve, hitting another alien in the neck, going right through. Page landed quickly and dove underneath the legs of the "new guy", twisting around and pulling out a gun from the folds of his robe.

"Oh boy." The new guy said.

BUDDA-BUDDA!

He fell down, dead. Page turned back to face the silo. "Now then…thou shalt be judged, for the vengeance of the Lord is upon ye all." He walked inside. Shouts were heard.

"What the Hell?"

"Hey, is that…"

"He's got a gun! Get-"

HALF AN HOUR AND ONE SLAUGHTER LATER…

Page, still dressed as Jesus Christ, held up a detonator and turned around, away from the silo, walking off.

"You have been judged…_bitches_." And on "bitches" he pressed the button on the detonator. The silo went up in a huge explosion.

Page grinned. "Now then, on to the next silo. I wonder if they'll fall for my act there too?"

PRESENT…

"Holy CRAP! PAGE! I can't _believe_ you!"

Page looked at the ground, filled with guilt. "I'm not proud of what I did, not proud at all. After the mission, I became overcome with grief…it…it hit me like a Mack truck. I prayed for God to forgive me…and I never took another mission. But since I was a favorite of Jumba's, he didn't dehydrate me for insubordination."

Stitch grinned. "Good story." He told Page. "Now let's take the clone's clothes off."

**SFX: Record Scratch**

Nick blinked. "Uh, what?"

Gunner rasied an eyebrow. "The heck wuzzat?"

"Put his clothes on and nobody will know it's you. Go on. Take off his pants and jacket." Stitch said.

Nick shook his head, waving his hands in protest, taking several steps back with a disgusted expression on his face. "Uh uh! No way in heck! I am not gonna take off his pants and jacket! I'm not taking off ANY clothes!"

"Fine. I'LL do it."

Stitch walked over to the unconscious clone, and took off the clones boots for starters. Nick immediately turned away. He heard Stitch pulling, yanking, the shuffling of clothes being moved about…

**SFX: Boing! **

"Ooooh." Crystallene said. Sparky snickered, Page blinked, Gunner said "Not bad" and Rupert simply said "Ew."

Nick finally asked "Are you _done_?" "Yep." "Can you uh…you know…move the body somewhere?" "Okay, okay."

Stitch lifted the body up and flung it into a nearby dumpster. It landed with a thud, and the clone groaned. "Quick, hurry up and put these clothes on." Stitch said, handing the clothes to Nick, who turned back around. "Okay, I'll wear them over…"

"No, you gotta take yours off. If you're wearing something else underneath it'll look suspicious." "Well I'm NOT taking off my underpants or my t-shirt." "Fine! But you'll have to take your pants and your shoes off." "Okay, okay, okay. But let's never do this ever again! And I want you all to look away, all right?"

"Okay, we will." Crystallene said. The experiments and Rupert turned around as Nick took his shoes and then his pants off. He put the brown pants on and the jacket, and then put on the boots and gloves that the clone had been wearing. "Okay, you can look now." Nick said. They all turned around.

"Nice, nice. You clean up good."

"They'll NEVER know you're not a clone with that outfit. Oh, tuck your shirt in."

Nick rolled his eyes but complied. "Oh, for…fine, here, here. It's in. Now can we hurry up and go?"

"Right. We have to meet the resistance at the observatory. Let's go. Oh wait…"

Stitch walked over to Gunner's backpack and put Nick's normal clothes in. Then he took out several sets of electronically operated handcuffs. "Everyone who's not Nick, put these on." The experiments nodded, grim in purpose.

Rupert put them on, confused. He looked at Stitch, eyebrow raised. "Uh…what's going on?"

"If we're seen and/or caught by Kaiser's forces, Nick here can pretend he's escorting us to the Detention Center."

"Where'd you get the handcuffs anyway?" Rupert asked.

"From a David clone." Stitch replied.

"He just gave them to you?" Rupert asked, a little bit astonished.

"Not at first, but then we…heh-heh…" Stitch trailed off, a cruel smile dancing on his lips. Nick gulped, a nasty, vivid mental image popping up in his head.

"We really hate those clones. The Kaiser's forces get to do anything they fking want, except for speaking Hawaiian. That's forbidden completely." Gunner growled. "Otherwise, they do whatever they want." Page added. "Yeah, what-_evah_!" Crystallene exclaimed. "They can like, surf, play golf, go out on the town and shoot paintballs at people…loot…" "Swim, go to other countries, go over to the volcano…"

Page stiffened at the mention of the volcano, but Nick didn't think much of it.

"People are usually stuck just…well…hanging around town, talking about how great Kaiser is! Those damn re-education centers fk their brains up something bad!" Sparky spat.

Page suddenly raised his hand. "Yes, Page?" Stitch said. "You don't have to raise your hand." "Uh, maybe it would be best to not tell Nick about what happened at the beach when those people protested." Nick blinked, confused. "Huh?" "Oh, yeah. That." Stitch looked glum, and a little bit uncomfortable.

"Uh…what exactly happened at the beach?" Nick asked, sort of not wanting to know the answer. Sparky spoke up. "Well, sometimes people resist the re-education. Enough of them got together to do this big demonstration at the beach. So Kaiser released a couple of Stitch clones on them…"

"So what exactly happened at the beach?" Nick asked again.

"First they tied 'em up." Gunner said, a weird look in his eye. "Then they scalped them. Then they took their guts and started to-"

"Okay, okay, I get the point!" Nick shouted. "Let's get going!"


	49. Here With Me

**CHAPTER THREE**

HERE WITH ME

"Man, the observatory's a DUMP. And this beach could use some cleaning up. There's seaweed everywhere!" "Ooh, look, a starfish!" "Crystallene, pay attention!" "Sorry, Stitch."

They'd made it to the southern beach, where the observatory was. Having just removed the handcuffs from his friends, Nick noticed that the observatory was now a total dump!

The paint job had faded, and the observatory was now grey instead of the proud white it had once been. Someone had written "E-Vile Makes All The Girls Sigh" on the wall in red paint as well. There were cracks all over, the lens of the telescope had been shattered, and there were cobwebs all over it. The beach was in lousy shape as well, there was scattered seaweed and other junk all over the beach. And, as Crystallene noticed, several starfish.

Unfortunately, there were also several nasty animals on the beach as well, a fact Gunner found out after getting too close to the spray of the water.

"OW! Something stung me!" "A bee?" "No…" Gunner pointed at the offender that had grabbed the heel of his foot, ears pressed down hard against his head as he growled. "A jellyfish!" "That's not a blue bottle, is it?" Nick asked. "Those things are nasty! I saw a lot of those in Australia. I was swimming in this big tank, and all of a sudden I saw HUGE bunches of blue bottles floating, cuz the tank was connected to the ocean and stuff…"

"What's a blue bottle look like?" Crystallene asked. "It's blue, and has a sort of crest on top. It looks a bit like a bladder with tentacles coming down from it, with a fin on top. It's also called a Portuguese Man O' War."

Stitch looked it over. "…hmm…nope. Not a blue bottle. I think it's just a regular box jelly, a stupid sea wasp-oh _crap_! Quick, vinegar! Page, has Gunner got any vinegar in his first aid kid in his backpack?"

Gunner put his backpack down and Page wrenched out a small first aid kit. He opened it up and found a small bottle of vinegar. "Apply it to the tentacles for thirty seconds with a cloth!" Page took out a small application cloth from the kit and doused it in the vinegar, then applied it to the wound area, where the jellyfish's tentacles continued to stick to Gunner's heel. About half a minute later…

"Okay, remove the tentacles with the tweezers we've got in there." Page carefully removed them and then, using the tweezers, flung the box jelly into the ocean.

"Come on, you can get proper treatment inside the resistance base." Page told his friend, walking over to Gunner's side and helping him up. "I'm fine, I'm fine!" Gunner snarled, whacking Page's hand away. "Don't touch me!"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Calm down, you guys. Now uh, you said that someone's gonna be guarding the door?" "Yes. Go ahead, knock."

Nick walked up the steps of the observatory and rapped on the door.

"Shave and a hair cut…two bits!"

A slot that had been cut in the door suddenly swung inward. But Nick couldn't see anyone…it was very, VERY dark inside.

"Who's there? What do you want? This is a restricted area, I have papers from the Kaiser that say I'm to clean this dump up."

Nick blinked. No way…although the voice was rough in tone and older than Nick remembered, it leaked meterosexuality from it.

"Pleakley, is that you?" Nick asked.

There was a long pause before the voice said "Yeah, I'm Pleakley. Who are you?"

"It's me, Nick."

"…"

"Pleakley, Stitch and the others are here to meet up with the resistance like you told them to. And me and Hamsterviel are here too. By the way, Hamsterviel's really not Jacques, he's actually Rupert, Jacques von Hamsterviel's twin brother. I think he adopted his brother's personality after Jacques died in front of him, like a Cloud Strife kinda deal."

"…riiiiight."

"Pleakley, I'm telling the truth!"

"Bullshit!"

"No, TRUTH!"

"Liar!"

"**DON'T CALL ME A LIAR, YOU GIRDLE-WEARING, IDIOTIC, NOODLE MAN!**"

Silence. Then…

"Yep, you're Nick alright."

The door opened. There was Pleakley, wearing a headband, camouflage pants and a jacket, a white t-shirt, boots and gloves. He had a red scarf on as well, and a katana attached to his belt. He took out the cigarette from his mouth and flung it away, onto the ground.

"I'm…I'm glad you're back, Nick." Pleakley said, brushing away a huge tear from his eye. "Quick, get inside! You can't stay outside and around here for long!"

They all ran inside and Pleakley quickly shut the door. Then he opened up a closet door, revealing steps leading down into the ground. "At the end of the steps is a tunnel that'll take us to the resistance base. Come on, we haven't got much time."

They all walked down the stairs, with Pleakley leading the way. "Good idea to wear that outfit." Pleakley told Nick. "If I saw you on the street I'd think you were just another clone." "Yeah, I know, but why the heck did this Kaiser jerk wanna have me cloned? Or David? I mean, I can understand Stitch, but…" "Well, you'll have to ask him. There's a rumor he had one of his generals cloned too…"

"It doesn't seem right to hate somebody you've never seen, but I'm already hating him." Nick thought out loud. "I probably shouldn't, but…well…" "Look, hate will keep you alive and going, Nick." Pleakley explained instructively. "Consider your hatred as an obsession like a lot of us resistance members do. It's not like a happy thought that someone can take from you, it's something that'll keep you focused."

"Jeez, I don't think I should hate or obsess. I thought it went against what the Bible-" "Wherever the Kaiser is, God keeps a distance." Gunner snarled. "We have to act as His agents and deliver righteous judgment against Kaiser for all of his sins!" Nick turned to Page. "Page, what do YOU think?"

"Nick…I'm not touching this "forgiveness over judgment" argument with a twenty-foot pole."

"Aw, come onnnn!"

"Welcome to Rebel HQ, boys and girls-okay, boys and GIRL."

The Rebel HQ was a HUGE underground silo, and the main hall resembled the inside of an airplane hangar. There were huge lights hanging from the ceiling, as well as stalagmites and stalactites all over. There were several dozen large tables in the center of the silo, and lining the halls of the hangar were large crates and boxes filled with various supplies. Several dozen tunnelways were also lining the walls, all leading to places…

"That one on the south wall leads to the kitchen, those on the north wall lead to rooms, those on the eastern wall also lead to rooms and all of those on the west wall, including the one we just used, lead out of the base and to various places of refuge we've secretly set up around the island."

…no longer unknown.

Nick blinked. "Woooowwwww…this place is frickin' A!"

"I'm glad you're here, Pleakley." Someone masculine called out.

Then another person spoke up, a feminine voice that had a tough undertone to it. "Wait…Stitch? The experiments? And…wait, are you the real Nick?"

Nick turned to face the voices and his mouth flew wide open in surprise. "What the? Victoria? Keoni?"

Though they were now both adults (if not young ones), there was no mistaking that red hair. And when the two were side by side there was no doubt whatsoever in Nick's mind that they were Keoni Jameson and Victoria Alyson Chase.

"Guys! You're okay!" Nick exclaimed happily. "How's it hanging? What up?" Keoni and Victoria walked over and bent down, giving Nick a warm hug. "It's so good to see you alive, Nick." Victoria whispered. "Our parents are dead, Lilo is gone…"

Nick began to shake quickly, tears springing to his eyes. They hugged him tighter. "We're sorry. We didn't mean to upset you, Nick." Nick just hugged them back as best he could. "I'll…I'll find some way to make my way through…through all of this." Nick said quietly.

"Pretty clever of you to dress up as a clone." Keoni said. Nick nodded. "Yeah, but it was Rupert's idea. Though it is cool. How many people can say they've dressed up as an enemy soldier?"

"Luke Skywalker did it." SMACK! "Ow! Don't hit me!"

"I'll bet you're tired." Pleakley offered. "But before we find you a room, there's someone who you'll want to see, Nick."

Victoria, Keoni and Pleakley led Nick to the kitchen through a hallway which had a few small drawings nailed to the wall for a certain degree of "homeliness". When they reached the kitchen, Nick was impressed.

There were two lights attached to the ceiling, shining brightly. There were two large fridges, a freezer and two circular tables. The kitchen was as big as Nick's playroom at his house, but that's not what made Nick impressed.

What impressed him the most was the appearance of a certain yellow experiment who was sipping coffee at one of the tables…a sandwich in front of him, half eaten. He wore a white sleeveless t-shirt with a bandolier, a black belt, dark blue armbands, and a dark blue headband to match, and had on shades.

"625." Nick happily exclaimed. "How ya doin'?"

625 turned to face Nick and blinked, taking his shades off and putting them on the table. "Nick? The…the real Nick? That you, kid?" Yep. Manhattan accent still there! Nick nodded vigorously. "Is a coconut brown?"

He broke into a huge grin. "NICK! Man, am I glad ta see YOU, kid! How's it hanging with you?" "I'm…I'm doing okay, I guess, 625. As okay as I can be with…with all of…well…" He waved his hand around at his surroundings. "This happening."

625 nodded understandingly. "I get it, I know whatcha mean, kid. By the way, I'm not 625 anymore. My name's Rueben."

Nick raised his eyebrows. "Oh…Rueben? As in the Rueben sandwich?" Rueben nodded. "Yep!" "Hmm…it fits!" "Yeah, it does…and it's good to have you back…but geez, kid! You look awful! You look like total blitznack!"

Nick looked down at himself. "I do?"

"Your face, kid! From what I can tell, you need some serious sleep. Guys, find him a room. Have a good night's sleep, okay kid?"

Nick nodded. "All right. I am pretty wiped." He yawned.

"I'll see you in the morning!" Rueben said, and gave him a friendly smile. Nick suddenly stopped, snapping his fingers. "Oh! Almost forgot!" He turned around. "Uh, I need to use the bathroom. Where is it?"

Rueben looked guiltily down. "Uh…we kinda…um…have to use bathrooms up THERE. We only had so much space. Uh, the third hallway to your left once you leave this place will take you to a place that has a men's public bathroom, it's a bar bathroom but a bathroom all the same."

"Okay, it'll do."

Nick followed Rueben's advice and walked down the hallway, reaching a ladder. He climbed up it and reached the top, opening up a hatch and crawling out. He was in an abandoned bar, just as Rueben had said. He walked towards the nearby "Men's Room" and opened the door.

PU! It STANK in there! Ignoring the stench as much as he could he walked into a stall.

"Aw, _geez_! Doesn't anybody flush anymore?"

Nick flushed it and wiped the seat free of disgusting toilet crap with some toilet paper, then sat down, pulling his pants down. He looked up at the stall wall.

There was poetry there.

"There once was a man from Bangoo…who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and…what the? Goo? Okay, WEIRD. What's this next one?"

"Here I sit, broken hearted…pfft! Heh-heh…okay, the next one…"

"Here I sit in deadly vapor cuz some jerk stole the toilet paper."

Nick suddenly stopped laughing and turned beet red. That had happened to him once before.

His watch suddenly sprang to life.

**SFX: Waa, waa, waaaa!**

"Oh shut up!" He growled. Then he read the next poem.

"To men: Be Like Pop, Not Like Sis…lift the lid before you piss."

Nick sniggered. He realized that what he was doing now was a bathroom poem in itself! He began to sing it out loud.

"Ohhh…some come here to sit and think, some come to piss, some use the sink…some come here to scratch their baalllllsss…and I just read what's on the walls!"

After he'd finished with everything he had to do, he flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall. Then he saw something very odd on the wall.

Okay, TWO odd things. The first was a pretty large hole that had been made in the middle of a bathroom painting of a dog's head, with its mouth right open. The hole was right in the middle of the mouth on the painting that had been done on the wall. Oddly enough, Nick saw that the walls were hollow.

The other odd thing was some writing that said something weird.

"Sheesh. You'd think that whoever wrote that would be able to spell right!" And with that he walked over to the sink, washed, and then dried off with some towels. He left a few minutes later.

THE NEXT DAY, EARLY IN THE MORNING…

The experiment formerly known as 627 knocked on the door with his black suit-wearing Nick, David and Stitch clones by his side. He was wearing a black spacesuit similar to 621, only his had a dark red cape with golden felt on the side facing 627's back. His outfit had arms as well, another difference from 621's outfit. He had golden boots on, and red shoulder guards, and 627's crest insignia was a spiky "E" that was blood red like his cape and shoulder guards, contrasting sharply against the midnight black of the rest of the outfit.

A sleepy-looking man answered the door and opened the door.

"Uh…can I help you Mr. 627?"

627 groaned. "ARGH! I keep telling people, my name is E-Vile now, dammit! E-VILE! Say it!"

"Okay, E-Vile."

"Louder!"

"E-Vile!"

"Oh, come on! You call that loud?"

"E-VILE!"

"THAT'S more like it! Now would you happen to be Richard Bout?"

"Uh, yes…why?"

"We've received a report that you spoke Hawaiian."

The man looked even more confused.

"I did? _Oe_!"

"Yep. You did."

"When?"

"Just now, _idiot_!" E-Vile jumped up and with one swift slice, cut the man's head off. The body slumped to the ground, blood spurting all over and gushing like a fountain. E-Vile kicked it into the bushes and then held up a hand. "Towel." He barked. The David clone handed him a very large red towel. E-Vile wiped himself free and walked off, sniggering.

"Man, they ALWAYS fall for that kinda stuff! What stupid idiots!"

"Having fun?" E-Vile's communicator suddenly came to life, a chilling voice speaking. The orange experiment stood still, frozen to the spot. "Uh…" "Get back here, E-Vile. NOW."

E-Vile nodded. "Ye-ye-yes sir…of…of course!"

MEANWHILE, IN THE REBEL BASE…

Nick groaned and slowly opened his eyes. It had been bad enough that he'd woken up two hours earlier, unable to sleep (an annoying habit of his), but just when he had thought he was slipping back into sleep, someone had knocked on the door of his room, which he was sharing with Rupert.

"Wake up, it's a red alert! We've got bogies nearing our base, going in a comb pattern on the beach! We need all the men we have to eliminate them before they discover we're here and report it to any of the Generals!" It was Keoni's voice. He stuck his head in, a concerned expression on his unshaven face.

"I'm up, I'm UP!" Nick shouted. "Geez, can't even sleep…oh well. It's only 6:30. I wake up early anyway."

"Whuh? What's going on?" Rupert sat up in bed, blinking his eyes. He had a nightcap on his head. Nick resisted the urge to giggle at the sight and sorta succeeded. "Uh…heh-heh…we uh…gotta get up and kick clone butt."

Rupert rubbed his eyes. "Uh…I uh…don't know how to fight. I never learned." "You never got into a single fight?" "Nope. I would either run, or someone else would fight for me. My UNCLE was the hsoona, not me."

"Hsoona?"

"Revolutionary. He was pretty frickin' good too. He almost managed to overthrow a province on my home planet. And he would have gotten away with it too, it not for that meddling spy."

"Oh. That's…too bad."

"He was GOING to proclaim a democratic slate, and his head ended up on a plate…"

"…so…you can't fight?" Keoni asked.

Nick gave Keoni a nasty "Thanks a lot, Mr. Insensitive" look, but Rupert nodded. "No, I can't fight."

This might be bad. "Uh, what about hunting?" Keoni asked.

"What? _No_! I can't even kill a deer!"

"Uh, wrestling?"

"I tried. Got stuck in the dreaded "Manila Envelope" technique."

"Martial arts?!"

"I used to be good at Kanto style, but one day I shattered this board with a good punch and a piece went flying and it kinda impaled someone's arm while I was practicing at the gym with Jumba after school. So uh…I gave it up. And I had a bad experience with my teacher anyhow…"

A LONG TIME AGO, IN A DOJO FAR, FAR AWAY…

"All right. Now then, Rupert, Jacques, Jumba, all three of you are failing this class!"

"We're sorry, Master Okama!" All three, young students said, bowing their heads deeply. Master Okama was a short teacher of martial arts, with no nose, beady black eyes, and stubs for feet. He was also constantly covered in wrapped cloth, and wore a turban constantly. They had no idea how he moved as fast as he did.

A demonstration of his speed came a few moments later…

"Please give us another chance, Master Okama!" Jacques begged. "I want to know how to kick someone's legs out!"

THWACK!

Jacques had been rudely smacked on the head with a backhand because somehow Master Okama had leapt the fifteen feet down and towards his students from the pedestal he usually stood on…and had then jumped BACK onto it!

"You do NOT take self-defense classes to hurt people, you stupid boy! You take them for self defense! Uh, DUHHHH!"

They all bowed again. "We're sorry! We're sorry! Please give us another chance!"

Master Okama stroked his beard. "Very well. I'll give you all another chance." He turned to the wall and sighed. "As you know, I am a man of special needs. So…you will now receive…the Fist of Fury! Jumba! I must demonstrate it's technique! Get me a long rubber glove!"

Jumba blinked. "Um…very well, then…" He ran into the next room and brought out a long rubber glove, handing it to Master Okama with a special bow. The Master bowed back and began stretching it a little.

"Eeny, meeny, miny mo… I wonder where…my glove will go?"

PRESENT DAY…

Rupert shuddered. "_**Ohhhh**_…ever since that day, I never set foot in a martial arts dojo ever again!"

Nick blinked a few times, trying to come up with something else that would indicate Rupert had SOME fighting instinct in him. (And not getting what Rupert was implying Okama had done.)

"Um…er…I know! Fighting video games!"

"Huh?"

"Street Fighter, Tekken, Marvel vs. Capcom, Capcom vs. SNK, Dead or Alive, Mortal Kombat, any of those ring a bell?"

The blank stare Nick received told Nick all he needed to know. Keoni groaned. "Fine. This is a long shot but…dart-guns or cap guns? Ever used one of those?"

Rupert nodded enthusiastically. "I was GREAT with shooting rubber darts!" Keoni let out a sigh of relief. "Phew! Okay then, you can help after all! Come with me, then."

Nick and Rupert walked out of their room, following Keoni through the hallway. Everyone was heading for the exit, armed with guns. "Here, take one." Keoni said to Rupert.

Nick noticed there were a few left on the large tables in the main hangar. He walked over to one and looked it over.

"Hmm…this one kinda resembles the little pull-back I used to have…okay, you can have this one." He tossed it to Rupert, who caught it and looked it over. "Okay…uh…boy, I feel weird holding this…"

Keoni looked at Nick. "What about you, Nick?" "Uh, I think I'll be fine." Nick said, holding up his pointer and middle finger. "I can kick butt on my own, thanks."

Keoni nodded and walked off, heading for the exit. Nick looked at Rupert. "Okay, the clones are gonna be wearing those "Dictator Week" style outfits, right?" "Yeah, I guess so." Rupert said, shrugging.

"So be sure not to hit any of OUR guys. In fact, when you do fire, aim for their legs." "The legs?" "Yeah, nobody likes getting hit in the legs." "What if someone steals my gun, kinka?"

Nick thought about this. "…you know what? How about you fight next to me?...wait, what's a kinka?"

"It means "battle buddy"." Rupert explained. "Someone whom you fight and spar with and stuff."

"I SO gotta get a English-Galactic dictionary." Nick thought out loud. "So, are you ready, kinka?"

Rupert nodded. "Everything will be alright!"

Nick smiled and gave him the "rock on" sign. "Okay. Let's get on up there and rock a hula!"

Our two heroes made their way up the ladder and entered the observatory. Then they walked out of the observatory and ran after Keoni, who motioned for them to follow him closely. They and the other rebels who had climbed up from the base all ran down the beach, suddenly ducking into a huge clump of forest that separated one side of the beach from the other. Nick looked through a bush and saw an approaching small army of various clones. About a dozen or so Nick clones, two dozen David clones and exactly five Stitch clones.

"The Stitch clones are MINE." Stitch snarled. "Nobody clones me and gets away with it." "Correction, they are OURS." Nick said. "I'll fight with you too." Stitch looked at Nick. "I never thought I'd ever say this, but keep me covered with your finger."

"Don't be such a goon." Nick muttered.

Ignoring the comment, Stitch turned to Page. "Page? Do a first strike-oh, for Pete's sake!"

Page was muttering a prayer. "…the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen. Okay. Here I go."

Page closed his eyes and his body began to shine. In an instant he was light energy. "That is so cool. No matter how many times I see it, it's always gonna be cool." Nick said. "Ooh, sparkly!" Rupert said. "Don't touch!" Stitch whispered. Page's light form suddenly shot out from the brush of forest, slamming into a Stitch clone before he could even blink, going inside him. Then, a moment later…

The clone, with pond-like eyes, grinned. The other clones looked down at him.

"What the?"

"NOW, GUYS!" the Page/Clone shouted, punching a Nick clone in the face, sending him flying.

The resistance swarmed out, firing at the clones, blasting some down in seconds. Keoni aimed a rifle and shot, blowing the head off of a clone that had gone for his gun. Victoria held up two pistols and was going all "Lara Croft" on the clones, and Pleakley was going NUTS! The cycloptic alien was slashing and slicing, cutting off body parts like nobody's business. Wow, he'd gotten GOOD! Who knew he had it in him?

Nick meanwhile, rushed forward, Rupert right behind him. Nick arched his foot back and jumped into the air, falling towards a Stitch clone that was pinning Crystallene down.

"Die, rebel dog!"

"HEY! JERKHOLE!"

The clone looked up to see Nick coming right down on him. Crystallene jumped away.

"GAIA CRUSH!"

The clone was flattened and slammed into the ground as Nick's body collided with him. Nick jumped off of the clone and surveyed his handiwork: a small crater with the clone's unconscious body in the center. He grinned and saluted Rupert with two fingers.

"THAT'S the way you do it!"

Rupert nodded, but suddenly his eyes widened. "LOOK OUT!" He shouted. Nick blinked. "Huh?"

A Stitch clone suddenly jumped on Nick, and began bashing his head. Nick fell to the ground, trying to pull the clone off, but the clone was giving him such a headache that it was hard to concentrate on pulling the little jerk OFF…

KAZAP!

The clone fell down, groaning. He'd been hit in the leg and stunned. Nick looked over at Rupert, who's plasma gun was smoking. Rupert opened his eyes and looked at his gun, gently brushing the hammer of it.

"Wow…that felt kinda…you know, like a real rush!"

The first words out of Nick's mouth were "Did you just shoot at me _with your eyes closed_?"

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Rupert protested. Nick slapped his forehead. Suddenly a David clone grabbed his shoulder. "Yo, get up and…hey, you're not a-"

Nick shoved him away and thrust out his left hand, extending all of his fingers and aiming them at the clone as he held his left wrist with his right hand. His left hand glowed purple…

"TOXIC _SHOTGUN_!" Nick screamed out. A burst of purple projectiles shot out from Nick's fingers, a cloud of sparkling purple dust drizzling down from his hand. The bullets hit the clone in the chest, and he was sent flying through the air, spiraling around and around…landing hard in a palm tree with a loud "KA-CRACK", followed by a "THUD" when he fell out of aforementioned palm tree.

"Cool." Rupert commented. Nick looked down at his hand, then turned to Rupert, who shoved Nick's hand away. "Hey, don't point that thing at ME!" Nick stepped back. "Sorry. I just wanted to see if it would really-"

"DUCK, YOU IDIOT!" Stitch suddenly hollered, jumping at Nick in full battle mode, antennae and all. Nick ducked down just in time as a Stitch clone had almost slashed him in the back of the head. Stitch collided with his clone and the two of them went tumbling down.

Pleakley meanwhile was currently facing down five David clones who were all advancing. He was completely surrounded. He looked back and forth and chuckled. "You think that ganging up on me is going to help?"

One of the clones blinked stupidly. "Well…yeah."

Suddenly Pleakley's wrist twitched. Then a moment or so later…all but one of the clones fell, sliced through the middle, all of them now in halves. The remaining clone was the one that had spoken. Pleakley turned and pointed the katana at him.

"Do you know how many nameless clones I've killed?"

"Uh…no…"

"About 3489. Look at YOU. You haven't even got a name tag, why don't you just knock yourself out?"

"Good idea." The clone said. He promptly slammed the butt of his plasma rifle into his face and he went down, groaning.

Meanwhile, Victoria and Keoni were back to back. Victoria turned a bit. "Okay, on the count of three…"

"Right."

Clones advanced…

"THREE!"

The two of them dove down at the same time, firing, as shots whizzed over their heads. The clones that had fired at them were gunned down in seconds. Then the two red-heads stood up and hugged each other. "Now THAT'S what I call shootin', babe!" Keoni said. "No kidding!" Victoria said, kissing him on the lips with great passion.

Nick looked around. The battle was definitely over. Most of the clones were…just GONE…and the few that were not gone were disarmed and all grouped together, save for the one Stitch was fighting right…

Oops. HAD been fighting. He'd successfully pinned the clone down and had crumpled up his gun. He tossed it aside.

"You shouldn't play with guns." He told his clone. Nick grinned. "Nice to see you've still got a sense of…"

Suddenly Stitch grabbed the clone's head with his two top hands and started squeezing while his other hands wrapped around the clone's neck and began twisting. Nick gasped in horror. The clone was squirming, desperately trying to get away, whining horribly as his eyes pleaded for mercy. And all Stitch did was laugh.

Nick covered his eyes and turned away, and Rupert turned around completely, plugging his ears.

Unfortunately, although Nick couldn't see what was happening, the horrible squelching and popping sounds gave a nasty mental picture of what Stitch was doing. Then Nick heard something crunch, followed by a horrible scream that was silenced with a horrible, swift "crack", which reminded Nick of the time his dad had broken his thumb. It had cracked in that exact same way, only this time the sound was louder, followed by a squishy burst as something was crushed.

Nick had a feeling he knew exactly what Stitch had done. He didn't turn around, but he put his hands deep in his pockets and looked down at the ground, trying very hard not to shake. Stitch walked by him, licking blood, guts, bits of bone and…grey and yellow stuff…off of his hands.

"Braiiins…braiiiins!" Stitch said, turning around and pretending to be a zombie as he walked in a slow, creepy fashion towards Nick. Nick shoved him away, a horrified expression on his face, anger and disgust rising in his head.

"How could you, Stitch…" Nick asked softly. "How _could_ you?"

Stitch blinked. "Nick, what's the big deal?"

Nick shot daggers with his eyes right at Stitch. Daggers with poison tips. "You MURDERED that clone! You just _MURDERED_ him! You crushed his skull and snapped his neck! And you…you…you ENJOYED it!"

Stitch shrugged nonchalantly. "So?"

Nick looked at Stitch with his eyes narrowed very tightly, brow furrowed down, an angry frown/scowl on his face. He crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and shook his head slowly back and forth.

"How…could…you?"

"Nick, don't tell me you're feeling sorry for-"

"WHY SHOULDN'T I?!?" Nick screamed. "You had disarmed him! He wasn't a threat! The battle was _finished_…AND YOU **MURDERED **HIM!!!"

Nick looked at the other clones, who were regarding the rebels with a mixture of contempt and intense fear. Nick suddenly understood why…the rebels were aiming their weapons at the clones, nasty grins on their faces. Page was making the sign of the cross, head bowed as he began to pray.

Nick realized what they were about to do. He turned and covered his ears, screaming as the plasma bullets of the resistance guns struck the clones over and over, turning them to nothing but pulpy masses that quickly dissolved into nothingness a moment later.

Nick looked mortified. He glared angrily, HATEFULLY at his so-called friends. Rupert was physically sickened by the whole ordeal, vomiting near a bush. Stitch sighed. "Nick, we can't take prisoners. This is war."

Nick thrust his hands up in a "whatever" gesture and walked back towards the observatory shaking his head in disgust, with Rupert right behind him. Rueben saw them walking off and ran after Nick, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Nick, don't be so angry. We can't take any prisoners, we don't have any cells and we don't dare let any of them go. One day you'll understand why those people had to-" Nick shoved the arm away so angrily that Rueben took a step back. Nick whipped around, glaring at Rueben, staring into his brown eyes with his own hazel ones.

"What you did was wrong. Period." "Nick, we had no-" "**Thou-shalt-not-murder**." Nick snarled, spitting out every single word with intense venom. Rupert gave Rueben an angry stare.

"You make me sick." Rupert said. "You think you can justify murder by saying it's for a good cause. But the ends don't justify the means."

Rueben spat on the ground. "This from someone who thought he was his evil twin brother, who tried to take over the galaxy and who would have killed Lilo and all of us gladly!"

"Shut up, you fat, ugly sack of blitznack!" Rupert shouted, punching Rueben in the nose. Rueben snarled and shoved Rupert down. "I'm commander of the resistance forces of Hawaii! You address me as SIR, not "fatty" or anything else, you stupid rat!"

"STOP FIGHTING!" Victoria shouted. She walked over, hair flowing gently. "Nick, Rupert, I know it's wrong to murder, but in war you do things you regret."

"Just because you're fighting a monster, doesn't mean you have to act like it. You…you're all not even sorry for what you've done. I don't think I can forgive that." Nick replied, voice slightly hollow.

Victoria sighed. "Nick, my mother and father are dead. So are the relatives of many other resistance members, and all because of Kaiser and his troops. You can't blame us for wanting revenge."

Nick shook his head. "It's wrong to murder, no matter what the reason."

"We look at it as execution." Pleakley said, walking over. "They deserve it for what they've done."

"Execution _is_ murder. Capital punishment is wrong too. I've read that we're the only civilized, industrialized country that kills minors with capital punishment, did you know that?"

"Nick-"

"I DON'T wanna hear it! To Hell with you!" He swore. "To Hell with you all!" Nick shouted. And with that he stormed off, walking up the steps to the observatory and going inside with Rupert right behind him. Rueben sighed.

"I knew this was gonna happen. Sigh…well…everyone, let's head back to base."

Nick and Rupert had locked their door. Nick's face was buried in his hands.

"I can't believe they did that." Rupert thought out loud. Nick was trying hard not to cry, but he couldn't help it.

"Everything's changed for the worse." He said, tears falling down into his hands one at a time. "Lilo is gone, so are Nani and David, all of my friends are murderers, Stitch is all…all violent, and the island has…has gone to hell." Rupert sighed. He could tell that Nick wasn't the type of kid who liked to swear. He must have been REALLY hurting.

"Nick, I wish there was something I could do to help."

Nick looked up. "I…I just need to…to think. That's all." He managed to get out. Then he buried his face in his pillow. Rupert nodded. "Okay. I'm…I'm just going back to sleep too."

The two of them were then back to back as they lay on their beds, two entirely different species from entirely different upbringings, and yet…both thinking about the horrors they had seen. Both disgusted with what had happened. Both sad and sorrowful in their own way. The only difference was that one…had taken it all very personally.

THE NEXT DAY…

A knock came at the door. "Nick? Rupert?" It was Rueben.

"Go away." Nick spat.

"Drop dead." Rupert said.

"Guys, I just wanna talk."

"…fine. Whatever." They both replied.

Rueben walked inside. "I uh…brought you guys some pizza."

"We're not hungry." Rupert said.

"Not even for pizza." Nick agreed.

Rueben put the pizza down on a small, nearby table anyway. "Rupert, Nick, I'm pretty sure that you're probably still angry at us…"

"Get out of our room." They both said at the same time.

"Okay, you ARE still mad at us. Guys, this is war. We can't really…well…show much mercy in war." Rupert blew a raspberry. Nick, who had his back turned to Rueben, raised his arm up, middle knuckle extended. Rueben frowned.

"Nick, quit it. You have to learn to deal with-" "I've been praying to God, you know." Nick said. "I was praying a few minutes ago, praying for-" "The souls of the clones we executed?" "Yeah…and for all of yours. I don't think the ends should justify the means."

"What did you WANT us to do!?!" Rueben asked, practically shouting. "Lock them up? WHERE? You're in the last spare room! Leave them there? NO WAY. They would just leave and go find Kaiser and tell him they saw us around here, then we'd be fighting off more and more invading forces until we'd be overwhelmed."

"…"

"Nick, the quickest way, the SMARTEST way to deal with them was to exe-"

"Smartest thing. Not the right thing."

"You can't say they didn't deserve it."

"I don't think anyone deserves to die so cruelly, and worst of all, you all enjoyed killing them."

"Nick, that's not-"

Nick suddenly turned around, his face filled with so much anger, eyes stinging with suppressed tears, face so twisted up with rage that Rueben stopped in mid-sentence.

"Don't lie to me! I saw your faces! I SAW them! You were enjoying it. The only one who looked like he felt sorry at all was Page. It was terrible enough that you killed. Horrible that you murdered someone, that you executed them. What makes me sick is that you enjoyed it."

Nick hopped out of bed. "I'm going for a walk. DON'T try to stop me." And with that he walked out of his room. "Hey, wait! Wait for me, Nick!" Rupert called out, following closely behind.

Rueben watched them leave, then sat down on Nick's bed. He sighed. He felt crummy right now. Not even a sandwich would help, and that was saying something.

He opened the pocket of his jacket and took out a small watch. He looked at the time and date, frowning.

He had to figure something out…soon.


	50. Songbird

**CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT**

SONGBIRD

Nick sat down at the table in the main hall, looking at the swirly little patterns of wood that were on the surface. Rupert, sitting next to him, sighed, his little nose twitching slightly, ears hanging down. "Nick, I don't like seeing someone I think of as a good friend unhappy. It's really sad."

"Thanks for your comments, but I don't feel too happy right now." Nick muttered.

Rupert put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "Hey, cheer up, Gloomy Grey! Everything will be alright! I know something that'll cheer you up! You like the fiddle?"

"Yeah…"

"You like sea shanties?"

"They're pretty good sometimes, why?"

"Be right back! I saw a storage room that was open…" Rupert ran off for a hallway, ducking into a room. Nick calmly waited…and was surprised to see Rupert coming back to the main hall with a fiddle in his left hand. He blinked. Several people saw the alien walking by and stopped, looking at him with confusion. Rupert walked over to Nick and hopped onto the table, holding the fiddle in front of him.

"I'm really good at playing musical instruments. Wanna hear a song? Maybe "Lukey's Boat", or perhaps "Run, Runaway"?"

Nick raised an eyebrow, surprised. "Wait…those songs are by the band " Great Blue Sea", they're from Newfoundland."

Rupert blinked. "Oh, so they've got those songs here, too?"

"Uh, how exactly does an alien know songs that are supposed to have originated in Earth?"

"Well, actually, you'd be really surprised. Quite a few songs are universal, no matter what you may think. It's pretty interesting, actually."

"Some songs are universal? Example?"

Pleakley and Rueben stuck their heads out of the respective rooms they were in and said, at the exact same time as Rupert, "Everybody knows "Cotton Eyed Joe"."

Nick blinked. "Really? Wow. Go figure."

"So, whatcha wanna hear?"

"Uh…why not that "Run, Runaway" song you were talking about?"

Rupert beamed. "O-KAY! "Run, Runaway" it is! This'll cheer you up, "Mr. Frowny McBlue"! One, two, one two three four!"

**BGM: Run, Runaway by ****Great** **Blue** **Sea**

He began to play his fiddle.

_IIII like black and white…dream in black and white! Youuuu like black and white… _

Rupert stomped his foot upon saying "Run, runaway_!" _

_Seeeee chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone, run, runaway! _

Then he fiddled a chord of notes on his fiddle, treating it as if it were an extension of his very own body. Nick was amazed. Rupert was GOOD!

"Ifff you're in the swing, run in everything! Ifff you're in the swing…"

More stomping. "Run, runaway!" But now Nick stomped to "Run Runaway" as well! And people were pouring into the main hall, listening to Rupert's playing.

_Seeee chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone, run, runaway! _

_Ifff you've got it sussed, don't be around the bush! Iffff you've got it sussed, run, runaway! Seeee chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone… _

This time at least a dozen or so people stomped to "Run, runaway!" But now Rupert began to riverdance as he whistled, still playing his fiddle. Nick joined on in, as did several other people.

"Miss Chase…may I have this…riverdance?"

"Oh Keoni, you haven't asked me to dance in years!"

"Does that mean yes?"

"You bet! Woo! Watch me go!"

"This is pretty fun!"

"Go Pleakley, go!"

Soon though, the normal state of playing resumed, and Rupert landed with a flip, resuming his regular playing.

_Ohhh, now can't you wait! No, no, come on and wait! Ohhh, now can't you wait… _

"Run, runaway!" Everyone shouted, stomping to the song.

_Seee chameleon, lying there in the sun, all things to everyone… _

"Run, runaway!"

_IIII like black and white…dream in black and white! Youuuu like black and white…_

"Run, runaway!"

_Seeee chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone… _

"Run, runaway!"

_Seeee chameleon, lying there in the sun! All things to everyone… _

" RUN, RUNAWAY!"

_Naaa-na-na-na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na! Naaaa na na-na-na…run, runaway! _

_Naaa-na-na-na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na! Naaaa na na-na-na…run, runaway! _

_Naaa-na-na-na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na! Naaaa na na-na-na…run, runaway! _

Naaa-na-na-na-na, na, na, na-na-na-na! Naaaa na na-na-na…

**"** **RUN****, RUNAWAY!" **

(Music ends.)

Rupert stopped fiddling and then bowed.

Everyone began clapping and cheering. Nick clapped the loudest, amazed, looking at Rupert like he was a fricking celebrity. "How…how did you DO all that?" He asked.

Rupert stood up, confused. "All what?"

"That dancing, those little twists of your wrists, all that smooth back and forth stuff, that…that stuff was AMAZING! You're good! Where'd you learn to do all that stuff?"

"Some kids chose cooking. Some chose woodshop."

"Some chose sewing." Pleakley added.

Rupert smiled a bit. "I just picked music. And I stuck with it. You think THAT was good, you should have seen me in E.G.O. Man, when Jumba came in all upset about Mari-Mac, his wife-"

"Dude, you…you are frickin' A!." Nick said, eyes wide with awe. Rupert shrugged.

"It's not much, really. I'm just glad I found something I was good at early. A nice benefit to being a genius. Did I make your day, Frowny McSadpants?"

Nick smiled and playfully punched Rupert in the arm. "Stop it!" He laughed. "You're gonna make me smile!"

Rupert punched him right back. "Well I guess I succeeded, cuz now I'm gonna call you Sunshine boy."

Nick beamed. "Rupert..._mahalo_."

"Huh?"

"It means "Thanks" in Hawaiian."

"Oh. Cool. Ayel, Sunshine Boy." Nick blinked. That had been Galactic, but he didn't know THAT much. "Huh?" Rupert said the word again. "Ayel. It's a Galactic phrase." "What's it mean?" Nick asked him. "Shine on." Rupert said simply. Nick smiled. "Shine on…I like that."

Someone tapped Nick on the shoulder. He turned and looked at Rueben, who was looking down at the ground, nervous. "Uh, Nick, I…"

Nick raised a hand. "Hold on, hold on. I know what you're gonna say. It's okay. I…I forgive you guys. I can't forgive what you've done, but hey…" He smiled a little. "I can't stay mad at you guys forever."

Rueben looked up. "Really? You mean that?" "Yep! Hey, I'm thirsty. Where's the kitchen again?" "Here, I'll go get you a root beer!" Rueben said, bounding off, a big grin on his face.

Nick smiled. Things were looking up after all.

**BGM: I'm Still Here, by John Rzeznik **

For the next few days, things were peaceful and…well…happy! It was almost as if Nick had never left the island, as if Lilo had never died, as if the past had never been messed up.

Things were…good.

(Nick looks around. Pleakley motions him over to a table. Nick walks over and Pleakley pulls out a scrap book album, photos of everyone's families. They go over it, with Pleakley telling stories about the families. Nick laughs occasionally.)

**BGM: I'm Still Here, by John Rzenik **

_I am a question to the world,  
Not an answer to be heard…  
Or a moment that's held in your arms… _

And what do you think you'd ever say…  
I won't listen anyway…  
You don't know me…  
and I'll never be what you want…me to beee.

(Nick walks down the hall and sees one of the soldiers crying in the bathroom. He walks in and squats, talking to the guy, who opens up to Nick. Nick pats the guy on the shoulder and starts talking, leading him out of the bathroom. Soon they're in the kitchen, sharing some pizza and swapping jokes, laughing. Rueben watches, smiling a little.)

_And what do you think you'd understand…  
I'm boy, no, I'm a man!  
You can't take me,  
and throwww me away…_

_And how…  
can you learn what's never shown,  
yeah, you stand here on your own…  
They don't know me  
'Cause I'm-not-heeeereeeee!_

(Nick sits out on the beach near some palm trees, pointing up at the sky, amazed at how many stars there are out at night, in comparison to how dull it is during the day. Crystallene is with him. She holds out her hands to Nick and gives him a telescope made of crystal. He smiles and takes it, holding it to his eye. Page and Gunner and Sparky all want a turn and jump up and down.)

_And I want a moment to be real!  
Want to touch things I don't feel…  
Wanna hold on and feeeeeel I belong!_

(Nick points at the sky as a comet goes by. They all close their eyes and wish.)

_And how can the world want me to change?  
They're the ones that stay the same!  
They don't know me…  
'Cause I'm-not-heeeeeereeeeeeee!_

(Keoni and Victoria are in their room, talking. Nick passes by just as they kiss passionately. He smiles and walks off, closing the door for their privacy.)

_And you see the things they never see…  
all you wanted - I could be…  
mow you know me,  
and I'm not afraid!_

_And I want to tell you who I am…  
Can you help me be a man?  
They can't break me…  
As long as I know who I aammm! _

(Rupert and Nick are both playing instruments, Nick on the piano and Rupert on the fiddle, belting out an old sea shanty as everyone else dances and cheers, lifting glasses and mugs.)

_And I want a moment to be real!  
Want to touch things I don't feel…  
Wanna hold on and feeeeeel I belong!_

(Pleakley steps forward. Everything stops. He holds up his accordion. Everyone cheers and the playing resumes, with Pleakley now playing as well.)

_And how can the world want me to change?  
They're the ones that stay the same!  
They can't see me,  
But I'm-still-heeeeereeeeee! _

(Nick is in his room, looking at a picture of Lilo. Memories flash in his head of the past that he had, and all of the happy times. He cries a little.)

_They can't tell me who to be…  
'Cause I'm not what they seeee…  
Yeah, the world is still sleepin,' while I keep on dreaming for meeeee…  
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never belieeeeeeeeeeeve! _

(Someone knocks on his door. He looks up, putting the photo away. It's Rupert, who mouths "Everything will be alright.")

_And I want a moment to be real!  
Want to touch things I don't feel…  
Wanna hold on and feeeeeel I belong! _

(Nick brushes his tears away and smiles. He walks out the door with Rupert.)

_And how can you say I'll never change?  
They're the ones that stay the same!  
I'm the one now,  
'Cause I'm still here!_

(Nick walks over to his friends and they all smile and greet him. Keoni's the only one who's He takes out Lilo's picture and smiles happily, putting it on the wall with a tack Rupert gives him. They all crowd around it and smile at it. Nick's is the biggest.)

_I'm the one…  
'cause I'm-still-heeere… _

_I'm-still-heeeere! _

_I'm-still-heeere… _

_I'm-still-heeeeeeeeeere… _

(Music ends.)

Then the red alert went off…AGAIN.

"So much for that." Nick muttered, depressed. "What could it be-"

"HE'S OUTSIDE!" A soldier shouted, rushing into the main hall. He'd just been topside, to check on who was out there. "GENERAL 621 IS OUTSIDE… AND HE'S BROUGHT REINFORCEMENTS!"

Nick suddenly stood stark still. 621 was…outside?

He had…he'd…

_He…killed…LILO… _

Nick suddenly rushed for the hallway where the ladder up to the observatory was, shoving several people, the soldier included, out of the way. He began climbing up. " NICK! Don't be a hero!" Rupert shouted. But Nick didn't hear.

Oh, and that smile? Gone.


	51. Everything Goes Wrong

**CHAPTER FORTY-NINE  
**

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG

Nick had never been angrier with 621 in his entire experience on the island. Yes, he knew before he'd found out about…Lilo…that 621 was dangerous, and a killer. Yes he knew that 621 was evil, that he wanted to destroy Jumba and Stitch…and yet, Nick had thought, deep down in his heart, that 621 was really good.

He guessed he'd been wrong. Very wrong.

When he reached the top of the ladder he flung himself up, onto the floor. Picking himself up he stomped over to the door and kicked it open, stepping outside and glaring out at the mass of David clones that had gathered all around…with 621 in front.

He was wearing a brown space-outfit, but other than that, he looked completely normal.

And Nick…was…angry.

"_You_!" Nick shouted, pointing at 621. 621's eyes blinked as he scanned Nick's mind. It was a mess currently, but 621 got the message. Nick knew about Lilo's death…and he was beyond being furious. He was out for blood.

621 scratched his stomach and made a sad smile. "It is actually good to see you for real, Nick. I…had missed you." "You **murderer**." Nick spat. "I'll **kill** you." "Oh you WILL, will you?" "Yeah…I **WILL**." "That's not very Nick Grey-like behavior." 621 replied. "I don't feel very much like being normal ever since Stitch told me you murdered Lilo." Nick spat.

621 sighed and crossed all of his arms. He looked down at the ground, not looking at Nick's glaring, baleful eyes. "Nick…I didn't want to hurt her. I had no choice."

Nick took a step forward. "There's ALWAYS a choice. You chose to…to kill her and I…I…" Suddenly Nick was overcome with a terrible feeling of sorrow and regret, all of the fury and rage subsiding. He fell to his knees and began bawling, covering his face. "Oh, LILO! Waaauhhh! Wauauuhh! Liiiilllooooo…sob…sob…naaaauuuuu, not Lilooooo…"

621 held up a hand. "Everyone, move back." He ordered. The crowd of clones all did. 621 calmly waited for Nick to finish, a look of pity on his face. Finally Nick's crying had become sniffling. He looked up at 621, face wracked with a mixture of anger and sorrow.

"How could you? How COULD you? You killed her, I…I luh…loved her…"

"I know." 621 said sadly. "Nick…I think it's time you came with me. Give yourself up and I'll let the resistance go. This way, nobody else needs to be involved."

"Sorry, but it's too late." Someone said from the top of the observatory. Nick wiped his eyes quickly and looked up…no way.

"627?"

"Aw, for f--k's sake! My name is E-Vile now! Got it? E-Vile!"

Nick blinked. "E…Vile?"

_Well, I don't know if it's a "good" name, but it certainly "fits"…_

"So you're the one who did that graffiti on the observatory? E-Vile as in "E-Vile makes all the girls sigh"?"

"Yep!" E-Vile said proudly, beaming.

"Did you do that weird saying in the men's bathroom too? The one that had the bad spelling?"

"No, that was Angel."

"No way." Nick said, shaking his head, looking a bit offended. "Come on, you and I both know that Angel knows how to spell "Come" right. And why didn't she finish what she was writing? Where does she want the guys to come? Did someone catch her in the men's bathroom or something, is that why it wasn't finished?"

621 blinked, trying to come up with a coherent sentence after hearing that. "Er…"

"Uh, what?" 627 asked.

"Well? DID someone catch her in the bathroom?" Nick asked.

621 looked at Nick in a "Say what?" fashion, and E-Vile, who had been _completely_ surprised by Nick's naivety, fell onto his back, rolling off the observatory roof as he laughed and laughed and laughed. He was still laughing a few moments later when he picked himself out of the sand.

"Kid, you are too much! Heh-heh…anyway, unfortunately for you and your little rebel buddies, Kaiser says all of the resistance leaders are to be brought to him, and either killed in a very nasty fashion or…forcibly re-educated. Personally I'd take the killed in a nasty fashion over being strapped into a hard wooden chair until your eyes bleed from watching those hypnotizing videos Kaiser makes because frankly…well, he ain't no George Lucas or Quentin Tarantino or Steve Oedekirk."

"You've really gone totally to the dark side? Jeez...and to think, Lilo and I wanted to give you a good name." Nick muttered.

"I heard that! I ain't interested in other names. I tried a few others, went through Terrance, Slasher, Brutus, Virgil, Overkill...couldn't think of anything that I liked. I ALMOST went with Demon, don't I look like a Demon?"

"...sorta...I guess." Nick supposed, scratching his head. "But for some reason, "E-Vile" fits better than Demon."

627 rubbed the back of his head. "Well thanks. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure out a name."

"You know, it would haved helped if your imagination wasn't the size of a cucumber." 621 sniggered.

"_Shaddap_!" E.Vile hissed. "Anyhow, we're gonna take your little friends away and you-can't-stop-us."

"You want to take them away, huh? Not if I have anything to say about it." Nick said, standing up. He stretched out his arms, hands flexed out like a fan and intertwining his fingers as he cracked his knuckles. "I'll kick ALL of your butts, I've got…"

"What you got is ten seconds to put your hands behind your head." A familiar Manhattan accent said. "Or he dies."

A terrified, eyes-wide Rupert was being held by the cuff of his neck by a tired-looking Rueben, who was looking at Nick sadly. He had a gun jammed into Rupert's eardrum. "Now, Nick. Hands behind your head."

Nick was horrified. "You…you've gone Benedict Arnold? You're a traitor, Rueben?"

Rueben nodded slowly. "I am." He said.

Nick couldn't believe it. "You…you're just joking, right?" Nick asked, begging, looking right at Rueben's blue eyes. "This is all one big joke, it has to be, you're my friend, you're the head honcho of the resistance, you're…you're not a…you…can't be…"

Rueben closed his eyes and sighed. "I…I'm sorry, Nick, but I'm so…so TIRED…I can't keep up the fight anymore. 621 being here forced my hand. I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore, I'm just so…tired. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is."

Stitch, Keoni, Pleakley and Victoria suddenly appeared from behind Rueben. Stitch growled and rushed at the yellow experiment. "You f--king traitor! I'll…"

Rueben suddenly whipped around and grabbed Stitch's throat, then flung him through the air. 627 casually raised a hand, and Stitch hovered in the air, via-telekinesis.

"I'm sorry to drop in a few days early, but when I heard Nick was here I couldn't resist." 621 said. "Rueben here's been very good at leaking information about rebel plans. We were going to do a big strike on you all in a few days, after whittling your forces down bit by bit over the past half a year. Didn't you think it was odd how there were so many troop patrols coming down around this area? Didn't you all wonder if there was a traitor in your midst?"

Victoria looked at Rueben, hurt. "I had a suspicion it was the result of a rat, but I never thought that…that YOU would be…be the one."

Rueben sighed. "All of you, get out there. You're all under arrest in the name of the Kaiser."

Rupert walked over with them down the steps to the beach below. Now everyone's eyes were on Nick.

"Nick, it's your turn."

"You know, Rueben…I just realized something. Remember all those years ago, when you were doing your last mission? You said that one day I would understand why those poor people in the lab had to die, remember?"

Rueben nodded. "Yes."

"Well I get it. They had to die so you could accomplish a mission that involved murder. They had to die so YOU could get a freaking gold star from your dad!"

Nick's voice was getting louder, angrier. "They had to die because you only cared about doing well, not doing good! They had to die because you cared more about getting a mission done than you did about innocent people!"

Nick was now screaming, his voice hoarse, and Rueben's eyes were narrowed, his hand quivering.

"They had to die because you were a selfish BASTARD, and you didn't care about anybody but YOURSELF, and you **STILL DON'T**!!!"

KZZAP!

Nick was thrown down the steps by a stun shot from Rueben's plasma gun. He growled and walked down, hoisting Nick's body over his shoulder. "Let's go." He said curtly. 621 and 627 blinked, surprised.

"Wh…why did you do THAT?" 621 asked.

"I hate it when people are right about me." Rueben replied.

…

…

…ohhh…ohhh…I feel…AWFUL…

…where am I?...what's…what's going on?...

…wait…oh my God, Rueben, he…he…

I can't believe he…I thought…oh, Rueben…

I must be asleep, or…or unconscious-or-or something…

I gotta get up! I gotta wake up, fast! The rest of my _ohana_ is in danger!

…darn it! Wake up, you idiot! WAKE UUPPPPP!!!

"YAAAAAHHH!" Nick screamed as his eyes flung open. He stared down at the floor he was on, panting and huffing…then he realized he was looking at himself…the floor was made of glass, everything below him was mirrored…

Pretty…

He looked around and realized he was in a huge hall, like the entrance to a big mansion. There was a huge glass elevator to his left, and a spiral stairwell to the right. There was a beautiful mural above on the ceiling, reminding Nick of the Sinestine Chapel, of…of a black experiment who looked a lot like Stitch, doing all sorts of heroic looking things. The style looked…

"Baroque?" Nick wondered out loud.

"Indeed." A polite, calm, smooth voice called from behind. It had a faint tinge of something in it, some emotion Nick couldn't quite figure out. Nick stood up, turning around.

He now faced a huge door that was as big as a door to a church, made of solid mahogany, with gold knockers. There were all of the rebel leaders, Rupert, Rueben, 621, E-Vile and…561 with a green armband wrapped around his arm. He looked at Nick with a small smile that seemed painful to pull off, and then his face became impossible to read.

"We have been waiting for you…child of balance." 561 said. "I know all things now…I know my destiny. And it is time you faced the facts…you have lost this battle, and perhaps the war. There is nothing…NOTHING…you can do now."

Nick took up a battle position. "I can kick your butt so hard your breath'll smell like-"

Rueben suddenly pointed a gun right into a frightened Rupert's neck. "You, uh…don't wanna do that, kid." He said simply.

"Nick…d-don't worry…" Rupert managed to get out. "Ev…everything will be alright…"

Nick growled angrily and bit his lip. He realized there wasn't diddly squat he could do, so he kicked the ground and muttered "Dirty, rotten, lousy rassafrassin, sonofagun…"

Then a bell rang. "Oh. The elevator's here." E-Vile said. "Okay, everyone in!"

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

The elevator music and the cramped conditions made the whole experience unbelievably tense. Picture it in your mind. Sworn enemies within only a few measly feet of each other, all in a glass elevator, while muzak played. People stole glances at each other, Nick's leg jittered nervously, and E-Vile licked the inside of his nose with incredible gusto.

"This _sucks_." Keoni finally announced.

"No kidding." Stitch agreed.

"Kaiser just does this to piss us off." 621 said, looking angry himself, claws twitching nervously.

Finally the ride up ended. Everyone piled out. Now they were all at the beginning of a _long_ hallway, lined with very priceless-looking paintings, many doors and the occasional stark naked statue.

Nick noticed a painting to the left of him that caught his eye. Below the painting was an inscription that read "The Fire of London, 1666."

"Huh? London was…oh yeah! I remember! People thought it had something to do with the Devil and being so sinful because of the whole "666" thing…"

"And many blamed the Catholics." 561 responded.

E-Vile stopped picking his nose. "English people ALWAYS blamed the Catholics, like German people always blame the-"

"E-Vile, watch what you're saying!"

"What I like about it was that London was almost totally burnt down, and what Mayor Bloodworth of London said about it was funny." E-Vile said, snickering.

Nick blinked. He wasn't surprised that E-Vile would find a town burning down to be funny, but…

"What did the mayor say?"

"Well, when the fire first started, the mayor's aide, or at least one of them, woke him up from his sleep and told him a fire had started."

"So what did he say?"

"He said "Pssh. A woman could piss it out!". Soon he was known as the FORMER mayor of London."

Nick chuckled. "Hey, that's…heh…that's pretty funny!" E-Vile smiled. "Yeah, it…it is, isn't it?"

"Will you quit your freaky rival-bonding moment and get moving?" Rueben snapped.

"Sorry." E.Vile said. But he didn't really say it like he meant it.

They walked down the hall, past several male statues that had post-it notes on them, specifically on their privates. Several read "Weak" and "Tiny" and "Super Weak" but some read "Woo!" and "Yowza".

"Darn it!" 621 growled. "I keep telling Angel, "stop putting post-it notes on the statues!". Honestly!"

"Yeah, that kinda stuff is MY turf." E-Vile said.

Nick spoke up. "Hey, um, which one of you got cloned? I heard Kaiser had one of you Generals cloned…"

All of the Generals stiffened. Finally 561 spoke. "That rumor is true, but…but we are not allowed to say, under…under penalty of death." This confused Nick, but he stayed silent.

They all walked to the end of a hallway where a large double-door waited. There was an intercom built right into the wall next to it, and a large gold knocker on the door that was, weirdly enough, in the shape of a man's balls, like from "Scary Movie 2". Kaiser had a freaky sense of humor.

Rueben summoned up his courage, pushed aside his disgust, and knocked on the door with the knocker. "We're here!" He announced.

"Good, good. Come on in." The intercom crackled to life with five simple words. Nick shivered. There was something…wrong…about the voice that had spoken. Just something wrong…something Nick couldn't quite figure out.

Rueben opened the door and Nick gasped.

The inside of the room was AMAZING!

The walls were painted a shining white, with beautiful oriental rugs all over. There was a thick shag rug by a large fireplace to the left of the room, and to the right of that was an enormous closet that was partially open, revealing very, VERY nice looking clothes and outfits. There were beautiful paintings all around the room, a statue of the Kaiser himself in knightly armor (made of marble), huge windows, a bed that would have made King Louis XIV jealous, a huge plasma-screen, high definition television, a large, sturdy desk made of oak with an enormous, stylish computer on it, and, finally, a crystal chandelier.

"Cooooooool." Nick found himself saying. He'd been had at the shining white paint job.

"Nick, no admiring the bad guy's stuff!"

"But it's so cooooool!"

"Get a grip!"

Suddenly Nick saw something. One part of the wall was covered with animal heads…

Nick _didn't_ like that kind of decoration. He frowned.

Then his eyes went to a head that looked…

"Oh Sweet Jesus." He said, eyes widening. "Guh-Gantu? He…he…"

Rueben suddenly looked away, a tear springing to his eye. He wiped it away. 561 nodded. "Yes…he is no more. He lead an assault against the castle and fought to the very end…before Kaiser removed his head. Even in death his eyes still hold defiance. And in regards to what happened to Myrtle Edmonds and her friends…and all of THEIR families…well…that is a story for another time, child."

"Hey, where IS Kaiser?" 627 asked.

"Right here." A black form fell down from the ceiling, landing with a flip. He grinned nastily, revealing yellow-tinted fangs. Nick blinked.

At first, Nick thought he was seeing double, but then he realized that Kaiser simply looked a lot like Stitch, only Kaiser had bent antennae, a fluffy tail, frilly ears and…black fur, as dark as midnight. As dark as 561's scales, in fact.

He was dressed in a skin-tight battle suit of gold, with red armbands, wearing a fancy-looking piece of jewelry around his neck, a crystal that shone lightly.

"A piece of the Destiny crystal." Kaiser said. "Like it? Of course you do. I can tell, it's written all over your face…Nicholas Michael Grey." His voice was rough, yet oily, frightening and yet so much like Stitch's voice that it was also comforting in some small way, something that frightened Nick deep down inside, making him shiver.

Nick finally nodded. "Yeah, I'm…the real Nick Grey." Nick wanted to say a **lot **of things to this sicko, but the one thing that came to mind immediately was "By the way, how come all of the clones of me are at the same age I was when I left? Why no teenage clones or adult clones or something?"

Kaiser smiled cruelly. "Ahh…I knew you were going to ask that question. Hold on, hold on…"

He walked over to his closet and pulled down some new clothes. Then he closed the door.

Stitch rolled his eyes. "He's supposed to be a tough leader?" He whispered to Nick. I'm not impressed."

A few moments later, he came back out. He now had a gleaming cloak of gold, a pope's tiara (known as a triegnum) and was wearing a very impressive looking robe of red. The necklace was still there, but now he had rings on each finger, and he was also wearing a solid gold belt with many priceless gems lining up and down it.

"Wow, fancy much." Nick said.

"Talk about major bling-bling! What a statement!" Crystallene said, awed by the sheer shineage of it all. 621 stepped forward, bowing. "Sir, 627 and I captured the resistance leaders and the remaining experiments with the aid of our inside man. Rueben, step forward."

Rueben stepped forward and bowed. Kaiser nodded, looking very smug, He held his hands up so that the clawed fingertips lined up against each other and then drummed the fingertips. "Yes…yesss…good. Very good. Angel, dear, come on out and let them say…hello." "Huh?" Nick blinked. "Angel's here? Where?"

Angel crawled out from under the bed. She was dressed all in black, wearing a skimpy leather bikini, a thong, and looking very, VERY weird. She also had a whip, stiletto shoes, and a piggy mask on.

621 groaned and looked away. 627 reached into his pocket, muttering "Where's my camera, where's my camera!?!". 561 simply sighed and Rueben looked slightly disgusted. Keoni, Victoria, Pleakley and the experiments were horrified. As for Rupert and Nick…

"Oh…kaaaaay….what the heck is she wearing?" Nick asked. "And what the heck's she got a piggy mask on for? Is it Halloween yet?" Rupert wanted to know. Kaiser snickered. Angel took the piggy mask off. "Come on, baby, I wanna keep doing it!"

"Later, my sweet. Now in the meantime, why don't you go down to the research lab and the detention center and have a little…fun?"

"The kind of fun where I bring my toys?"

"…normally yes, but today…no."

"The kind of fun where I bring a body-bag?"

"Tempting, but no."

"The kind of fun where I bring both?"

"Maybe, you're getting warmer..."

"The kind of fun where I bring all of that stuff and the video camera?"

"Oh, yes, yes. And popcorn. I'd like to watch the video later on."

"You got it, honey."

Nick had a vague realization that Angel was about to do something kinky, and possibly very deadly. "You're sick!" Nick shouted. "You sick freak-a-leek! I oughta…"

Then he remembered something.

**BGM: Opening of "The Twilight Zone" theme song**

"He forced Amnesio to turn Angel and Jumba evil, and he gained control of the island…the island…the island…"

(Music ends.)

Everyone looked at Nick's watch. "The hell was that?" Gunner muttered.

Nick looked at Angel. "Hey Angel, wanna hear the Hawaiian word for family?"

Angel blinked slowly and then turned pale. "But…but NONE are allowed to speak Hawaiian, its forbidden completely…stay back! Stay back!" She screamed and out of the room. Nick blinked. "Jeez, that "re-education" stuff turns you into a real weird character!"

Nick was suddenly aware that Kaiser was looking very angry…and then the dictator glared over at 621.

"621, _you're_ the one who moved the timetable up just so you could see your little friend. You'd better keep him from saying things he might regret, or ELSE."

621 nodded, but he looked a bit guilty. "Yes, sir…of course."

Kaiser suddenly walked over to him, growling in a low tone. "You're not thinking of…betraying me…are you?"

621 shook his head. "Oh no, sir! You have all of my powers at your service, my total obedience, my loyalty, my respect-URK!"

Now Kaiser's claws were wrapped around 621's throat. "My windpipe…" 621 squeaked.

"You're going to have to be punished for changing the schedule without my acknowledgement."

Kaiser let go of 621 and pointed at the middle of the room. "Get over there. NOW." 621 nodded and walked to the middle of the room, back turned. "Kneel." He kneeled, his eyes looking distant, almost unfeeling.

Nick turned his head to look at the others and saw 627 looked…odd. His eyes were bugged out, and he was shaking slightly, biting his lip and clenching his fists. Nick was surprised. What was with him?

Kaiser walked back to his desk and opened up a drawer, pulling out a very nasty-looking knife that shone, a knife was curved slightly. It was attached to a long, thin string.

"Perfect. Now then…" Kaiser walked over to 621, stepping a few feet away. Then he flung the knife down, yanking hard on the string. It slashed 621's back and he involuntarily gasped with pain.

"Thank you sir, may I have another?" He managed to get out.

Nick was horrified and surprised, a stupid little thing like that shouldn't have been able to hurt him!

"How the heck can he DO that!?!" Nick asked, meaning it in more than one way.

"Ju…Jumba had it specially made, along with a whole lot of other hand-held weapons." 627 answered him, voice oddly off balance. "He also made some stuff for…for Angel and…and a whole lot of weapons and "re-education" things that we've used to gain control of all of Hawaii, and…and of other people, important people in places as far away as Japan. It's…it's easier to hurt people when you've got an evil genius to figure things out for you…and it's easier to make an experiment bleed than you'd…you'd think…"

Now Kaiser was slashing and slicing with the freaky whip/knife, it was whizzing through the air, all around him, arching here and there, and every time it came down it slashed 621's back, but it was suicide to get near him because the knife kept whizzing around and around Kaiser as he twirled it through the air. If you tried to stop him, YOU'D get cut, and probably lose more than just some blood or a limb. Nick couldn't watch anymore, he was horrified beyond belief. He turned away...but he could still see it slightly through his peripherals.

Finally it ended. Kaiser tossed the knife into the air and then jumped up, kicking the flat of the blade. It whizzed over to the wall and stuck in there.

"Niiiice." Stitch said.

"Niiiice." Rueben agreed.

"He's a freak-a-leek, but that move was pretty sweet." Nick admitted.

621 was gasping in pain, unable to fight back involuntary tears. At last he stood up and turned around, bowing. "You have my utmost loyalty." He said in a wooden voice. "Gooood. Now then…"

He turned back to the others and snapped his fingers at E-Vile, who was looking at Kaiser and at 621 in a funny sort of way. "E-Vile, 561, pay attention. You are to bring the boy, 626, 620, the red-heads and the faggot over to the detention center. As for the rest of them, I've got…plans…so 621 and Rueben, you two must stay here."

Crystallene looked frightened. She took a step back. Gunner growled angrily, and pulled the toothpick out of his mouth. Sparky's antennae sizzled slightly, and Rupert hugged Nick's leg. "Nick, don't let him take me away!" He begged. "I…I don't wanna stay here with him!"

561 raised a hand. "May I…uh…keep the rat?" Kaiser shrugged. "Why not? I wasn't going to have any use for him myself, since he's not nearly as smart as Jumba."

THAT irked Rupert. "Hey! I'll have you know Jumba's not nearly as creative as me! I was the one who suggested that he make an experiment that could change the sizes of others and the one who gave him hundreds of ideas for experiments! I wrote them all down and everything! Besides, I'm a better musician than Jumba too."

E-Vile kicked Rupert in the shin. He hopped up and down, rubbing his shin, going "Ow-ow-ow!" Kaiser laughed softly.

"Ha-ha…go ahead, 561. You can keep him for entertainment value. I'm going to have a little…fun now. The kind where I need both body-bags AND my "toys", and I too am going to videotape it."

Nick stepped forward. "I'm stronger than Stitch and strong enough to stop you! If you don't let me and my friends go NOW, I'll…I'll…"

"You'll what, Nick? Kill me? No, that's something one of my CLONES could do, but not you. Not ever. Not in cold blood. Do you want to know why I…keep my clones at the same age? Why they don't grow up? Stopping their growth cycle is simple enough, but the why is far more interesting than the how."

"Always is." Nick said. "Okay, I'll bite…why? Why keep them all the same age?"

Kaiser gave Nick a nasty, horrible smirk. "When people saw your face before, they knew it was the face of someone who was a good, nice kid. Someone who tried hard to be heroic, too…who did many brave deeds and good things for the town, and who cared for the people who had let him into their home and their hearts. Stop me if I'm wrong."

"Oh, go ahead."

"I decided it would be very, VERY interesting, and quite fun indeed…to make that face into something people would come to be terrified of, something they would hate, something that would signify something dark, cruel, deadly, EVIL…wonderful, isn't it?"

Nick stood there, stunned.

"Picture it Nick. The boy this town once knew, the boy who had been a hero, becoming a shock trooper. Becoming a monster. How fascinating, I thought, it would be to see how the town would react. And the reaction was lovely. Now people fear, hate, despise your face. Your own friends would have had no problem blowing the owner of that face away, am I right?"

Stitch was silent, looking at the ground guiltily.

"I knew how terribly it would damage the hearts and mind of the people of this pathetic little town if they saw a face they had trusted become a face that would slaughter their families, force them into re-education centers, storm down the streets, ready to blow some idiot away if said idiot interrupted their singing. It would be…beautiful."

Horror and disgust began to seep onto Nick's face. "You deliberately keep the clones at the age I am just so you could…you could mess around with people's minds? So that whenever they'd see my face, they wouldn't think about the good kid who'd done so much to help others, they'd be afraid, hateful and angry? You did all that just to drag my good name through the mud?"

"Yes." Kaiser said, nodding. He had an amused yet calm expression on his face, in contrast to Nick's, which was becoming very, very furious.

"You…you did all that just to make people think of me as a monster instead of as a hero?!? Stitch and the others would have blown my penis up just because I had the same face as the clones, my own FRIENDS, my FAMILY, didn't trust me because they'd seen the face I had belonging to a uniformed shock trooper so much that they…they…you just…you're…you're SICK! You sick, freak-a-leek! What the hell is **WRONG** with you!?!"

Kaiser laughed. "Nothing! I have complete free will. And I already know about your concept of family and togetherness, I have self-awareness in pod form, and that dumb rat ranted on and on about "oohana"."

"And yet…you're choosing to be so…well, EVIL? **_WHY?!?_**"

"Why not? It's very fun." Kaiser said, shrugging.

Nick suddenly launched himself at Kaiser and kicked him in the private parts. Kaiser slumped to the ground and the triegnum fell off of his head. Nick began punching the little jerk over and over, each blow filled with intense rage. Nick was NOT holding back.

"YOU-" (Whack) "SICK-" (Thwock) "MONSTER-" (Bam) "I'LL-" (Smack) "FUCKING-" (Twudda) "**KILL**-!!!"

Nick didn't get to finish his assault though. 561 suddenly jumped forward, striking Nick in the back with his clawed hand, claws digging in deep, oozing with dark energy. Nick screamed and fell back, groaning in incredible pain as blood seeped down onto the floor.

Kaiser stood up. He had heavy bruises that were bleeding fiercely, a completely broken nose and torn right ears, and his mouth was a bleeding mass. He should have been beyond dead. Instead he simply spat out several teeth and wiped the blood off of his face with his hand, licking it off. "Hmm…nobody's ever made me bleed this much before. Feels kind of…thrilling, actually. Remind me to punish the little brat later. In the meantime…"

Kaiser snapped his fingers, and he became bathed in a glowing white aura, his wounds healing before their eyes. Nick gasped. That aura, it was…it was Heartwing's! But…but wait, if this abomination could copy experiment powers by touching them, then…then was Heartwing…

"Your little friend's not dead." Kaiser said, snickering. "I left your pathetic little white dragon alive. But he's so drained of light energy that he might as well be dead. He crawled away like the coward he was, probably to die in a hole somewhere."

Stitch snarled and spat on the ground. "Don't you talk about my cousin like that! Heartwing may have been too much of a "head in the clouds" kind of guy, but he's no coward!"

561 nodded slightly. "True, my cousin was no coward. It makes no difference now. It's time to leave." Nick, Rupert, Victoria, Keoni, Stitch, Pleakley and Page were led away. Nick looked back at Crystallene, Gunner and Sparky. Kaiser had a sick grin on his face.

"Guys, I…" Nick began to say. "We know." Crystallene said calmly. "I'll save you! I'll bust you guys free, just like Luke Skywalker!" Nick said.

Gunner smiled. Sparky gave Nick a grin. "Hey, you just be sure to take care of my cousins, okay?"

Nick nodded, trying not to cry. His wounds on the back had healed, but the ones in his heart might never. He and the other prisoners were led down the hall. When they were in the elevator and heading back down, with the stupid muzak still playing, Nick looked over at Stitch, Page, 561 and E-Vile. Stitch and Page had stiffened up, hearing something Nick and the humans couldn't…something obviously horrible, since they had turned pale. And E-Vile wasn't smiling. He looked very…odd. Something was bothering him. And 561 simply stood there, almost comatose in his silence.

Page suddenly bowed his head, beautiful white tears falling from his eyes, shining like diamonds. He began to utter a prayer, and Nick heard some Latin that he understood immediately, some Latin that made him frightened to hear…

But then the elevator went into a free fall and it hit the ground hard, the roof shattering. Everyone fell to the floor, groaning. 561 simply flapped in the air, zooming out of the elevator through the roof. Nick stood up first as the door opened, amazed that they had all survived, and he gasped at what he saw.

"Going out?" Bonnie asked, plasma gun pointed at E-Vile. "We're bustin' ya out, guys." Clyde said.


	52. Wherever Will You Go

**CHAPTER FIFTY**

WHEREVER WILL YOU GO

Nick blinked. "Uh…what the?"

E-Vile was confused. "Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing here? You're supposed to be out in France, stealing the Mona Lisa!" Clyde gave him the finger. "We don't work for you no more. We're uh, what's the term, Bonnie?" Bonnie whispered in his ear something Nick couldn't hear. "Oh yeah! Independent operatives!"

"Cool!" Nick said. E-Vile, however, wasn't that happy.

"I'll kill you, you lousy traitors!" He raised his hands and Bonnie and Clyde floated up into the air. "I may not use my telekinesis much anymore, but I still know how to make people scream! And I'll make sure you-"

"Oh SHUT UP." Pleakley snarled, kicking him in the private parts. E-Vile's eyes widened, and he fell to the ground, moaning and groaning as he rolled around. Nick resisted the urge to quote from "Austin Powers" and laughed madly instead. "Let's blow this joint, huh?" Bonnie asked them.

They all nodded and ran out of the remains of the elevator, running through the hall to the front door, which was open. On the front lawn was a very nice-looking spaceship with a sky-blue paintjob and hot-rod flames drawn on it. It had a long tail, a shovel-like front, and stubby wings. It was fairly small, though, and looked like it wouldn't fit too many people.

"Go, go, get in! Stitch, you mind hanging onto the tail?"

"No, not really. Just try not to make the ride that bumpy."

"Page, you'll have to do that freaky possession thing."

"It's not freaky, but very well." Page closed his eyes once more and became a living mass of light energy, suddenly zooming into, of all people, Pleakley. Pleakley opened up his single eye, which was now completely the color of Page's eyes…a freaky effect since he only had one eye.

"Okaaaay…let's get this over with. It feels _quite_ odd being in Pleakley's body."

"Is he gay?" Keoni asked.

Nick kicked him in the shin. "OW! OW-OW-OW!" "Don't be an a-hole!" Nick said. Keoni grumbled. They all piled into the spaceship and found it to be extremely cramped, but livable.

"Everyone ready?" Clyde asked.

"Yes!" They all said.

"Nobody's got any broken anything?"

"Just bruises…ow-ow-ow…"

"We'll fix you up later. Just hold on. Be glad the elevator was only one floor up!"

Bonnie took the controls, but before she took off, she turned around and grinned slyly at them all.

"Buckle up for safety, mother-"

KAVROOOOOOM!!!

"WOOOOAAAAHHHH!!!"

The ship zoomed off through the sky, heading for the volcano. The ship was going far too fast for Nick to get a good, decent look at it's slope, but what looked like poles…no, maybe crosses…yeah, crosses...were lining up and down the slope of the volcano. Odd. Very odd.

Finally the ship touched down near the base of the volcano. Bonnie and Clyde hopped out, and motioned for their passengers to follow them. They walked towards the base of the volcano, and Clyde pressed a button on his mechanical arm. Suddenly a part of the volcano's base shimmered, and then vanished, revealing a cave. It had been disguised with a hologram!

"Coool." Nick said, looking at the cave. "We've set up a secret base here. We'll be safe for the time being. Hurry, get Nick and the rodent inside, FAST."

Rupert frowned, and Nick blinked. "Why just US? Why not the others?"

"Because the others know what's on dat slope already, and it ain't pretty." Clyde said stonily.

Rupert looked up at the slope and saw what was on it, high, high up. "Is…is that what I think it is?" He asked.

There WERE crosses lining up and down the mid to high level of the volcano's slope, but they weren't crosses for decoration or for marking burials. They were crucifying crosses. Nick knew this because there…there were some decayed, rotting corpses still on there, probably days old. And there were some skeletons up there too, meaning that the poor people on the crosses had been nailed up to said crosses through their bones and not their skin…

Nick ran over to a bush and vomited. Rupert covered his eyes and ducked into a ball.

"Oh GOD-AAAUAUUUGHHHAAACKKK! BLUAAHHHGGGHHH!"

"Make them go away, make them go away, _make them go away_…"

When Nick had finished after about five horrible minutes of puking he walked over to Rupert, who Page was patting on the back, trying to comfort him. "Father Joe and many others met the same fate as our Savior...Myrtle, Elena, Yuki, Teresa and their families included." He said sadly. "Not a day goes by when I do not think of them. I keep them in my prayers all the time."

"How can someone be so _cruel_?" Rupert asked, voice breaking. Page sighed. "I can offer no explanation for Kaiser's cruelty. He is sadistic and has no mercy in him. The slope is lined with all the people who openly defied him once too often…usually only once."

"…"

"All we can do for them now…is pray for their souls." Page said, wiping a tear away from his eye.

Nick tugged on Rupert's arm. "Let's go." He said quietly, walking into the cave, crying. There was nothing he felt he could say to make Rupert or himself feel better. Rupert followed him, looking morose. The others followed them as well, Bonnie and Clyde being the last ones in. Clyde pressed the button for the hologram and the allusion sprung back up.

Inside the cave were several beds, a couch, and a table. There were also boxes of non-perishable foods, a small generator (for power), a fridge with some food inside, and a closed circuit television. There was also a long tunnel leading down into the ground in the back of it…

Nick brushed away the tears. "Nuh…nuh-nice place you have here, I guess-wait…" Suddenly his eyes lit up with a spark of hope. "Bonnie, Clyde...are, are you two…"

Bonnie nodded. "Yep! Me and Clyde here have been rebel members fer quite a while now! But we don't let Kaiser or his cronies in on it, and 621's never found out either!"

Clyde laughed. "Yeah, he ain't seen us face to face in years, and he sure can't read minds that are hundreds of miles away! We've been traveling for so long, stealing stuff for Kaiser's place, that nobody really notices us when we're here! They just think we're here to drop stuff off."

"And we are, but not always for dat crumbum, Kaiser!" Bonnie added, snickering.

Stitch blinked. "That's…that's amazing!" He remarked. "Well, we're glad you think so." Bonnie said. "But enough 'bout us. You need help, boys and girls. BIG time help. The resistance is already moving far away from the observatory, their new base is gonna be below this cave, so they can correspond with us. And nobody done know WE'RE here, so…"

Rupert raised a hand. "Yeah, bunny?" "I'm a hamster, dang you! A HAMSTER! Anyway, we need to go get our friends back! We have to go to the castle again to save them!"

Page gently put his hand on Rupert's shoulder. "It pains me to say this...but there is nothing you can do for them. They are…lost. Gone. Kaiser has no pity for them. We must help the resistance and avenge their deaths by delivering swift justice to Kaiser and his Generals."

"No, they can't be dead, they…they just…"

"You said "In Pace Resquieat." "I think that means "Rest in Peace" in Latin…right?" Nick asked. Page nodded slowly. Rupert blinked, then looked down at the ground, sorrow filling his red eyes. Nick brushed his own and then spoke. "We need Jumba's help. And Heartwing and Angel's."

Keoni snorted. "Yeah. Jumba. Help us. HA. He's gone evil again, remember? Same thing as Angel! And we have no idea where Hearting is…"

Victoria raised her eyebrow. "Keoni, calm down, Nick's just…wait…he's right! Amnesio brainwashed them! We just have to say "_ohana_" and Jumba and Angel will be back to their old selves!" "Yeah, and both of them are gonna be in the same place…the detention center!" Nick exclaimed, a cheery smile slowly creeping onto his face.

Everyone besides Rupert and Nick however, groaned.

"What?" Rupert wanted to know. "Whassamatta?"

Keoni sighed. "That detention center's impossible to get in. It's got eighteen dozen cameras all around the entrance booth, and guards inside the detention center that are supposed to be sadistic, cruel, and kinky!"

"Kinky? What's that supposed to mean?" Rupert asked.

"We'll tell you when you're older and don't giggle at certain words." Pleakley admonished.

"I do NOT giggle at certain words!" Rupert said, stomping his foot.

Nick raised an eyebrow high. "Oh REALLY?" He asked, a sly, mischievous smile spreading on his face.

"Yeah. Really! I am-" Rupert insisted.

"Boobs." Nick said quickly.

"Pfffft! Hee-hee-hee-hee-heee…hee…HEY! No fair! You caught me off guard! I am not immatu-"

"Boobs."

"HA! HA-HA-HA-HA! Hee-hee-hee, heh-heh…Sunshine boy, quit it!"

"How'd you know?" Victoria asked Nick. "Always works. I should know, I'm a sucker for it myself. In any case, have you guys forgotten that I look just like a clone? I'll pretend to be a clone bringing some resistance members to the detention center!"

Pleakley rubbed his chin. "Hmm…yes, that could work! That could work, but…but your clone clothes are back at the observatory base, and that's a long way off, even if we take the tunnels…"

"No problem." Stitch said. "It's easy enough to find a Nick clone." "How so?" Nick asked. "Well, he's a lot like you, right?" "Yeah…"

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER, BACK IN TOWN…

Nick held up a megaphone. "HEY! ICE CREAM TRUCK CRASH! ICE CREAM TRUCK CRASH, RIGHT HERE! DON'T LET ALL THIS BUBBLE GUM AND COTTON CANDY ICE CREAM MELT!"

Nick waited for a total of 89 seconds before a clone suddenly appeared, rushing out from a street and making a sharp turn onto Nick's street, running up to meet him.

"Where, where?!?"

"Hey, what's one plus one?" Nick asked.

"Uh…two?"

Nick held up his pointer and middle finger. "RIGHT!" he said, and stooged his clone. His clone fell to the ground on his knees, groaning, hands covering his eyes. Then Nick whacked his clone on the back of his head with his elbow, and the clone fell to the ground, unconscious.

"Okay, uh, Stitch, get out here!" Nick called out. The others had been watching him from a nearby alley. Stitch walked out of the alley.

"Undress him, please." Nick said, turning away. Stitch did so.

"The clothes." Nick asked, holding one hand behind him.

Stitch handed him the clothes. Nick then walked behind a palm tree and quickly changed. Soon he looked like just another clone. He walked back to Stitch and gave him his clothes. Stitch took them with his bottom arms and then folded them into his body, hiding them. "Let's go." He told Nick. "We haven't got much time. The Detention Center's at the far end of town, so check the clone's pockets. Does it have any…"

"Got some! Freaky alien handcuffs!" Nick said, pulling metal, square-like rings out of his "borrowed" pants. "Hands out." Stitch held out his hands as Nick cuffed him. "Okay Rupert, come on. I need you to come with me too."

"Why ME?" Rupert asked, afraid.

"Kaiser will be looking for Stitch. 561 will be looking for you. Having the two scariest guys on the island giving me an order will be a better cover than simply transporting prisoners. Besides, this clone only had two handcuffs, I can't just cuff ANYBODY." Nick explained.

Rupert blinked, a little bit confused. He decided "to heck with it" and simply let himself be cuffed. "Now I'm gonna have to take you all downtown." Nick said in a "Dragnet" tone of voice. "Nick, quit it." Victoria said. "We've got to focus." "Sorry. Couldn't resist. I always wanted to say that!"

FIVE MINUTES LATER…

…"Oh Rupert Hamsterviel! He stole the experiments! And now he's working! On a chain gang! And with a bluuuuue! Alien koala! And-"

"Nick, quit it!"

"You guys are no fun."

"How can you be so goofy at a time like this?!?"

"If I don't laugh I'm going to think about all that's happened to the people I love and…and I'm going to start crying and I don't think I'll be able to stop…"

"…oh…"

"So let the Sunshine Boy smile, guys!"

"So anyway, is uh…is THAT the detention center? That big thing over there?"

There was a huge white dome about 200 yards away from Nick, Stitch and Rupert. There was a single toll-booth like area right in front that led inside of the dome. Inside the booth there was a single David guard, but there were several cameras as well, and the door leading inside was, interestingly enough, a revolving door that went into an airlock. However, in order to REACH that door, they had to get past a metallic barricade.

They reached the booth and Nick saw that the clone was reading "The Kama Sutra", with a copy of "Mein Kampf" on a nearby desk, as well as something that looked like a vase, but with a hole further down on it instead of at the top.

The clone himself had absolutely nothing on except for some sunglasses. When he saw Nick he took the sunglasses off. "Oh. Hey there! Uh, how's it?"

"Fine, fine, uh…how come you're not…um…wearing pants? Or a shirt…or anything else?"

"Today's Naked Friday. It's kinda like Casual Friday only way more casual."

Nick rubbed his chin. "Hmm…"

The David clone smiled, a hint of pride seeping onto his face. "It's an idea whose time has finally come. Anyway, you want a hit?"

Nick blinked. "A what?"

The clone looked him over. "Oh, wait, so you're not here to drop off some-"

Then he saw Rupert and Stitch. "Oh, you're escorting _prisoners_! I didn't see them, they're pretty short. Go on in, brudda!"

The David clone reached over to a nearby control panel and flicked the switch. The barricade faded away. Nick blinked. "Huh? What the heck?"

The clone looked at him like he was an idiot. "Dude, are you newly made or something? Don't you know a hologram when you see one?"

"Wait, why not put up a REAL barricade?"

"Kaiser likes to f--k with people's minds, that's why. Go on in!...and uh, don't tell anyone I said that stuff about Kaiser."

Nick nodded and walked toward the entrance with Rupert and Stitch.

"Hey!" The guard called out. "When you're done bringing the prisoners in, ya wanna do somethin'? Like uh…maybe see a donkey show?"

Nick had no idea what a donkey show was, and didn't want to hang out with someone who was not wearing pants. But he was polite in saying no and telling the clone he had work to do. The clone shrugged and our threesome went inside.

But once he got INSIDE…

"Oh wowww…" Nick said.

"Coooooooooool!" Rupert drawled.

Stitch looked around, impressed. "So THIS is what it's like inside the detention center."

The place was a huge field of grass, with dozens of flower patches and trees all over. The ceiling had been painted sky blue with clouds, and it was surprisingly cool and refreshing inside…air conditioning! Best of all, the many smells of the flowers and of the buds on the trees wafted together, forming a beautiful scent that overwhelmed all of them, filling them with a deep sense of happiness and peace.

"Ahhh…I could stay in here forever." Rupert said as he lay on his back rolling around in a nearby bed of poppies. Stitch was frolicking around in some lilies, and Nick had picked up a dandelion (which was only a stub, poor thing) and had put it on his ear. "Hmm…feels nice." He said. Then he blinked, something suddenly coming to him.

"Wait, wait, we can't let ourselves get distracted." Nick realized. "We've gotta mission to do, let's do it!"

There was a fairly large building in a far off corner of the dome. Leading up to it was a long black road, and blocking the way inside was a huge metallic gate with odd writing on the top that Nick couldn't really understand until they all got close. Nick read it out loud.

"Arbeit macht frei."

Silence. And then…

"Oh my GOD." Nick gasped. "Oh…my…GOD."

"What's it mean?"

"It's German for "Work Shall Set You Free", it…it was on Auschwitz's gates, the concentration camp's gates, and it…it's like a slogan of Nazism!"

Stitch's eyes widened. "That's…that's terrible."

"Who were the Nazis?" Rupert asked. Nick sighed. "I'll…I'll tell you later. We gotta get this over with quick, I have a really, really bad feeling about this place."

They walked inside with Nick at the front. Nick looked around. No cameras. Odd. But there WAS a Nick clone there, leaning up against the wall…not wearing pants.

"Lemme guess…practicing for Naked Day?" Nick guessed.

"How'd you know?" The Nick guard asked. He was reading a screenplay entitled "Alferd Packer: The Musical". Nick decided not to ask about it, and simply asked "Which way to the worst cells?"

"Oh, uh…this hall? The one to my right? Go down it, then take a left, then on your second right take that right and go straight. You'll find the worst cells. And uh, don't take the hallway path leading away from that place, it goes right to Dr. Jookiba's cell, and he's up to some freaky stuff today. Plus that slut Angel's there."

Stitch growled. "Don't you call her a-" "Not now!" Rupert hissed. "Okay, thanks." Nick said. "Hee-hee…you gotta check this movie out!" The clone said. "This stuff's frickin' funny!"

Ignoring the ranting, our heroes made their way through the hallways…

But the hallways were long. Very…

Very…

VERY…

Long…

"Ugh…it's like…it goes on forever…" Nick groaned. "My legs are fricking killing me, and all the walls look the same…" Stitch and Rupert had been released from their handcuffs since it was giving them annoying, painful, sore wrists. Rupert spoke first, looking around the hall they were in.

"Nick…I think we're going in circles."

"We are NOT going in circles, Rupert!"

"But I know I saw that weird bloodstain on the wall before, remember?"

Nick stopped and turned to look at the wall. Sure enough, there was a funny-looking bloodstain that looked like it had been shot out from someone's nose like a shotgun, reminding Nick of a good CSI episode he'd seen.

"Wait, if we've passed this before, then…oh, fuddy duddy!" He kicked the ground. "Darn it! Darn it to heck!"

"Sheesh, just swear!"

"No way. I'm gonna keep my cool…well, keep my cool as best I can. Okay, if we're going in circles, then…then…hmmm…hmmmm…" Nick sat down on the ground and thought. "Hmm…what to do, what to do?"

Stitch rolled his eyes and held up one ear, listening. Rupert did the same. A few moments later…

"THAT WAY!" They yelled at the same time, pointing in the same direction. "I heard a whip crack!"

"So?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It was a cat-o-nine-tails." Stitch said. "You can tell by the consecutive-" "Don't wanna hear it, let's just go. And uh, Stitch? You can lead the way."

Indeed he DID lead the way. Soon they were at a huge, titanium and iron door that had no doorknob…but it was open slightly. Good, Stitch thought, opening up the door.

All three of them gasped at the sight. Here was a huge laboratory, with dozens of machines and scanners, what looked like hundreds of freakish weapons of destruction (including a whip) on the wall, a cold, gray floor, large tables with many, many strange concoctions all over, an extremely huge supercomputer on the side and several big piles of notes that had been scattered all around. But that's not what had them gasping. What had them gasping was what Jumba was doing to Angel.

"**GROSS**!" Nick screamed, looking away and covering his eyes. Rupert couldn't shut his mouth so he shut his eyes tight instead, and Stitch retched. "**Yuck**! **Iky**!"

Jumba looked up and turned around. He himself was in pretty good shape…and he'd grown some hair back, he now had a small ponytail. But he was still fat, still four-eyed, and still very much an evil genius.

"What the? What do you think you are doing, this is private area, eh? Eh? What are you doing in here? Am very busy, go away now."

Angel, who was strapped to a table with her butt facing Jumba looked up as best she could. "Jumba babe, who is it?"

"Some stupid clone with a few prisoners…wait, how come they are not handcu-you're not a clone! You're the real one!" Before Nick or the others could shout out the word, Jumba pulled out a gun and fired…

ZAP! The ground in front of them exploded. They were all sent flying back. Nick landed hard on the ground and groaned…then someone forcibly yanked his head back, pulling on his hair. "YEOW!" He shouted. Angel looked into his eyes. "Say, I remember you from Kaiser's room…wanna play?" She asked, grinning evilly.

Jumba, meanwhile, had grabbed a pair of nasty-looking tongs. "Ooh, this will be fun." He said, putting the gloves on. Rupert gasped in horror. Stitch blinked, unsure of what to do. He couldn't just kill Jumba and Angel, they…they were too close to him! The password...it had been so long, what had the password been, the words would just not come out!

"Y-you're going to kill us, aren't you?" Nick asked, obviously frightened. Angel laughed, a soft, silvery laugh. "Oh, don't be silly! Of course not. But…if you and the others were turned to evil by my little song, then…well, wouldn't that be fun? And Kaiser would probably be pretty happy with me…"

Nick's eyes widened. "Angel, wait, _please_…"

Angel shook her head. "Don't bother pleading with me. There's nothing you can do now." She began to sing.

_Ahcoota choonutro... Degatah no mootah... _

But Nick wasn't going to fall for that one. He did the only thing he could think of that would stop Angel's song. The one thing that would stop her in her tracks.

He sang!

_Aloha oe… aloha oe…  
E ke onaona noho i ka liiiipo! _

Angel's eyes widened. Jumba blinked. "St-stop that!" Jumba shouted. "Y-you can't sing Hawaiian!" Angel said. "Hell, even speaking the word "Hawaiian" is dangerous…"

_One fond embrace,  
A hoi ae au… _

Angel leapt off of him, plugging her ears. "Kaiser says if we hear it, it'll turn our brains to mush! Stop it! Stop it!"

_Untill…we meeeeet…agaaaaiiiiin_!

"STOP IT!" Angel shouted. She and Jumba had backed off and were looking very flustered and afraid. "I mean it, stop-"

"_Ohana_!" Nick shouted. Jumba and Angel's eyes flashed green, and then…they looked around, blinking.

"What the…what…what was I doing? I…oh my goodness!" He looked down at his hands and peeled the white gloves he had off instantly, tossing them and the tongs to the ground and stomping on them over and over, making the laboratory shake. Angel couldn't speak at first, but when she did…

"Oh…my…God…"

"How on Earth could I have let myself do this? Is almost impossible to imagine, simply impossible!"

"Jumba…l-lets-lets get out of here. Now."

Rupert shuddered. "Oh, that stuff is even worse than the stuff I saw on Spring Break!"

10 YEARS AGO, ON RUPERT'S FIRST COLLEGE SPRING BREAK…

Rupert looked around the balmy, beautiful planet that E.G.U had picked to host it's Spring Break party on. "Boy, it sure is nice here, huh Jumba?"

Jumba brushed his hair back a bit. "Yes, it is. Tell me, am I wearing too much sunscreen lotion?"

"You look like a big, yellow banana."

"Okay, okay, will go wash it off. Where is Jack?"

Jacques suddenly ran towards them, huffing and puffing. He was wearing his usual red cape, but also had some sunglasses, since it was that kind of weather. "Hayah! Sota I'm late, I got sidetracked by some cool looking stuff. Uh, our kinkas wanna know…paravidee assay vewah?"

"Whuh?" Jumba asked.

"Paravidee assay vewah?"

"Do I want to see what?"

"You wanna see a donkey show?"

PRESENT DAY…

"Um…what's a donkey show?" Nick asked. Jumba shuddered. "Do not ask. Ever." Rupert shrugged. "I didn't go see it. But Jacques and Jumba did. They said they never wanted to talk about it."

"Okay, fair enough." Nick said. "Let's go then."

After that dramatic incident, the two of them walked out of the laboratory with Nick, Rupert and Stitch, trying very hard not to lose their cool. They lasted about five minutes, after that they were both freaking out, screaming, and in Jumba's case, pulling at what little hair he had left. Stitch managed to stop them though.

Once they had calmed down some, Jumba hugged Nick and Stitch tightly, and Angel did the same.

"Was greatly missing you, my son…and my dear boy…"

"It's…it's so…so good to see you guys again, especially you…boojibu." Stitch held her tightly for a few moments, and she softly cried into his shoulder. Then they let go and nodded, a few mere actions telling a thousand words. Nick smiled.

"It's really good to see you both too, but uh…could you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Don't talk about what you did just now to anyone. Don't ever talk about anything even remotely kinky when you're talking about your time as brainwashed goons of Kaiser, and tell me if you know where Hearting is."

Angel nervously looked around. "Um…we can do all that stuff except for…well, telling you where Heartwing is."

"Experiment 421 vanish-ed many years ago. Was first experiment Kaiser took power from…do not know if he is still alive."

Nick sighed. "Well, let's get out of here. Wait, before we do, guys…you have to put the handcuffs on again."

Stitch and Rupert groaned but did so. "Now all we gotta do is get out of here…" Nick said.


	53. Take Me As I Am

**CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE**

TAKE ME AS I AM

This time, with Jumba leading the way, they made their way to the entrance/exit easily. Unfortunately when they walked outside…

E-Vile was there. He smirked.

"Well, well, well…looks like I came at the right time to check in on Angel and my dear daddy. You're a _lousy_ father, you know…"

E-Vile was in a very, VERY bad mood. When Kaiser had heard that they had all escaped, he'd wanted to whip him, but 621 had once again agreed to take the punishment. E-Vile knew his survival was on the line here, and that if he didn't succeed now…

He suddenly scowled at them. "I've come to take your lives. Since Angel and Pop over there are still useful you'll just get brainwashed, but the rest of you are to all _die_."

With that last word all of his extra arms popped out and he raised them up high. Large patches of ground and several trees flew into the air. 627 then stared angrily at Nick, Rupert and Stitch and they hovered into the air via-telekinesis. Rupert began squirming around.

"AAA!!! AAA! Gemme down, gemme down! Help!"

"Why are you doing this?" Nick asked. "Don't you have free will too? Doesn't hurting others bother you at all?"

Stitch nodded, eyes filled with hatred, anger, and yet a faint trace of confusion. "You shouldn't be doing this! Kaiser doesn't care about you at all!"

"Good!" E-Vile snarled. "Don't you _get_ it yet? Caring about others is what makes you all weak. I don't need to care about anyone! All it does is make you suffer! Look at it this way: you want to protect someone weak from someone strong, so you try to stop that bad, strong person…only you happen to be weaker than that person is as well! So both you AND the person you wanted to protect are harmed! If you had stayed away, if you hadn't played the hero, you would have gotten off without a stinking scratch! Protecting, compassion, caring about others…it just means more suffering, not only for the people you want to help but for yourself! Caring does nothing! It's _useless_! It makes you _WEAK_!"

He closed four of his hands and the trees and large clumps of Earth flew at our heroes…

But Nick was too pissed off to care. He stretched his fingers out at E-Vile, his right hand glowing with a purple aura. "No, it does **not**! TOXIC SHOTGUN!"

Five bullets of toxicity flew from his fingertips, striking E-Vile. He groaned and his concentration over their suspension in the air was broken. They fell to the ground and rolled away just as the trees and huge clumps of earth collided, exploding in a shower of dirt, grass, flowers, wood and leaves. Angel shrieked and ducked. Jumba ran behind a bush, cowering. Rupert ran next to him and Nick and Stitch?

Got into a battle pose.

"I'm gonna teach you a lesson!" Stitch growled, raising a hand to keep Nick from interfering. "Stand back, Nick."

Nick nodded. "Fine. But DON'T KILL HIM." Nick said. "And don't cripple him either! He added just before Stitch leapt at E-Vile, who snarled. "I wish I could kill you 100 times over!" "Finally, we agree on something." Stitch said, snickering.

E-Vile slashed at Stitch with his claws but Stitch twisted his body in mid-air, kicking out with his foot, and E-Vile was sent reeling back. Stitch suddenly hocked an acidic loogie at E-Vile, who simply ducked and raised three hands, all of them glowing. A beam of energy shot out and hit Stitch, sending the blue alien flying towards the detention center facility wall. E-Vile laughed.

"HA! Nobody can defeat the dreaded E-VILE! I'm invincible!"

"You're a sick freak!" Stitch snarled, kicking off of the wall and zooming through the air, slamming into E-Vile with incredible force. He began to punch the little orange jerk over and over, and then slammed his head into E-Vile's stupid coned head. E-Vile fell to the ground, groaning, and Stitch clapped his hands free of imaginary dust.

"That'll teach you." Stitch spat.

"Yes…that you STILL have no good moves!"

E-Vile jumped up suddenly and raised his hand as he fell down towards Stitch, forming an electrical axe. He slammed it down on Stitch's head and it sparked into nothingness with a loud KRZAAAP, but still cut poor Stitch badly. He fell to the ground, hand going to his head as blood seeped down. E-Vile formed two more axes and rushed at Stitch, slicing and dicing. Stitch jumped back, visibly shaken.

Then E-Vile jumped at Stitch, slashing with claws that were laced with plasma. Stitch somersaulted back, dodging the slices. E-Vile suddenly tripped on the ground and fell on his face just as Stitch landed on his feet. Nick cheered as Stitch curled up into a ball and ran over E-Vile, who groaned nastily. Stitch then untucked himself and proceeded to stomp his downed foe over and over.

"Take this and that and this and that and-"

"Yeah!" Nick yelled. "Stomp to his beat!"

Suddenly E-Vile reached up and grabbed Stitch's leg. "Oh **_crap_**!" Stitch exclaimed, eyes bugging out. He was thrown across the ground and he finally came to a halt, staggering up and turning around, panting. The orange psychopath laughed, and then jumped on him.

"I'm tired of you always beating me! I'm tired of being thought of as weak! I'm stronger than you! And now you'll suffer…all because you tried to help your little friends!" E-Vile then did something very gross. His mouth opened up, and then…his teeth, in a move that reminded Nick of alien, came out of his mouth, the jaws snapping right above Stitch. They were now about a foot and a half out of E-Vile's mouth, which made Nick's stomach sick. It was like something from the movie "Alien."

"I'll eat you alive!" E-Vile sniggered. "There won't be anything left of you _or_ your stupid little friends! You're an inferior cousin, but at least you'll taste good!" The jaws leaned in, eager to devour Stitch, who snarled in E-Vile's face. "You haven't won yet! Even if I die, my _ohana_ will-"

E-Vile snarled suddenly. "Shut up about your family! Don't you get it yet, you inferior LOSER?!? Caring about people really doesn't do you any good! Why **bother**?!?"

"Because what it does…is make you as strong as you need to be!" Stitch shouted, suddenly punching the jaw right back into E-Vile's mouth. He went flying off of Stitch…but then hovered back to the ground, via telekinesis.

"_Pfft_." E-Vile scoffed. "Famous last words for a finished blue koala! Take THIS!" E-Vile took in a deep breath to finish Stitch off with his icy breath attack…

Or rather, he TRIED to.

The moment he opened his mouth wide to take in a deep breath, Stitch, who had seen it coming, hocked a really nasty acidic spitwad and it whizzed through the air, going down E-Vile's throat. The evil experiment fell to the ground, screaming and wailing as the acid burned his insides. Finally he lay there, groaning horribly.

"But…it should…should make you _weak_…I don't get it…" he muttered.

Stitch walked over to him and kicked him onto his side.

"You've _lost_." Stitch snarled. Angel ran over to him and hugged him. "Now THAT'S my Stitch!" She said, kissing him on the cheek. He turned bright red with embarrassment. Jumba and Rupert walked out from their hiding place, clapping, and Nick jumped up and down, cheering. "Go Stiiitch! Go Stiiitch! It's yo birthday, it's yo birthday! Not for real-real, just for play-play! Who da man? _You_ da the man!"

"Indeed." A familiar, creepy voice said, followed by a single, slow clap that sent shivers up everyone's spine with every single "smack" of palm against palm.

Everyone looked up and saw 561, 621, 625 and Kaiser all there on the roof of the detention center building...they'd ALL gotten in, probably at the same time as E-Vile. 621 looked morbid. 625 wouldn't look up at all, and 561 looked intently at Nick. Kaiser had spoken and he spoke again.

"You've failed, E-Vile-no, 627. Your title is now stripped from you. In fact, I'm going to do worse than strip you of your title. I'll strip you of your bones and flesh. Your punishment shall be de-"

"Sir, I'll take his punishment." 621 said, stepping forward, eyes suddenly filled with a grim purpose.

E-Vile's eyes widened, his voice suddenly becoming softer, unsure of itself. "Wh…what? 621, wait…"

"Once more you choose to take the beating?" Kaiser asked, an amused expression creeping onto his face. Everyone looked at 621, surprised, confused and in one case, horrified.

Kaiser turned to 621. "Kneel."

621 kneeled. Nick looked at 621 and then at E-Vile, ready to rush forward and stop this when he saw something that made him stop…

Kaiser flexed his claws and walked over to 621. "Now then, die in my glorious n-"

"**NOOOOOOOO**!!!"

E-Vile suddenly propelled himself from the ground, slamming into Kaiser and pushing 621 out of the way. He punched Kaiser in the face with full fury and then kicked him in the shin. Kaiser fell to the ground and suddenly E-Vile was behind him, arm wrapped around his neck. He looked at 621, and then they all saw what Nick had seen…

A single tear.

"621!" 627 shouted. "YOU ARE MY _OHANA_!"

Everyone gaped at 627. 621 finally spoke. "But…why?!?" He asked.

"I…I don't care at all about those idiots down there! I don't care about my father or even Kaiser! I shouldn't care at all, it just makes me weak, but…but I can't help it…I care about you…I care about all three of you, Rueben, 561 and-and especially you, 621…"

He gulped, and continued speaking, but his voice was breaking. "You…you were always my favorite and I…I always…well, I liked you a lot, I thought you…you were my friend…and more than that. You…you're family, and I…I needed you…you and the others. And if you died, I…I just…I couldn't let you die! I just couldn't! You're…you're family, dammit! Whether I should care or not, whether you like it or not, whether it makes me weak or not…we're family!"

Kaiser laughed. "I had a feeling you were going to betray me. 621 always took your worst punishments, and every time I exacted them I always took notice of your face. Your eyes gave you away…you cared about him. I suppose this makes you a hypocrite."

627 shrugged and tightened his hold on Kaiser's neck. "I DON'T CARE. 621 is my family, I…I like him and the others a lot, and…and I'm tired of you hurting him! So DIE!"

He began tightening even harder, strangling Kaiser. Stitch looked up at Nick. "Nick…we have to go. NOW."

Nick looked up at 627, pity rising in him. "But…but what if-"

"Is…is nothing we can do for my son." Jumba said sadly. "He has chosen. We must be respecting wishes. Come. We are going."

Stitch, Angel and Jumba ran off. Rupert looked back at 627, an expression of confusion and pity on his face. Then he ran off after them. Nick looked up at 627, not blinking.

"I'm so, so sorry." Nick finally whispered. And then he ran off after his friends.

621 looked on, shocked at 627's actions. 561 nodded slowly, understanding what he had to do. He looked at 627 with a brief twinge of pity on his face before he made his move.

There was a horrible SLUCK sound. 627 gasped…and then a sickening CRACK, which was followed by a thud as a body hit the roof.

Kaiser reached down and grabbed 627's head, squeezing it slightly. A strange, colorless aura seeped from the head to Kaiser's hand, and soon it disappeared. 627's power copied, Kaiser then spat on 627's dead body. "Let's go." He said. "Back to the palace. I'm in a bad mood and need a Jacuzzi bath."

621 and 561 nodded and followed Kaiser as the evil dicator jumped off the roof and hovered into the air via telekinesis as they floated up to the roof…


	54. Sweetest Goodbye

**CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO**

SWEETEST GOODBYE

"…"

"Nick?"

"Nick, you can't keep being sad like this…it's not right…"

"Nick, please, say something."

Nick was trailing behind the others as they walked back to the volcano. Nick was looking at the ground, obviously saddened…yet at the same time he looked oddly calm…it was a slightly freaky mood combination.

"…it…it makes sense, you know."

"What does?" Stitch asked.

Nick smiled a little, sadly. "He always acted mean and nasty and vile, and he annoyed his best friends so much, but now I get it...all along he just wanted someone to like him, and because of that he…he ended up being good in the end after all…"

"Nick, I don't know if just one act…"

"That's all it takes." Nick said with a sense of finality. "He just wanted people to care about him. He wanted companionship more than he wanted to hurt others. He wasn't all bad."

Rupert nodded. "I know what you mean. I…I didn't even know him that well, and yet I could tell…he was really bothered by what happened to 621. And I feel sorry for him."

"I can't believe you're feeling sorry for E-Vile." Stitch grumbled. "He's-"

"627." Nick said. "Not E-Vile. E-Vile was a sick freak who worked for a sicker freak. 627 was a lost little orange space dog looking for a friend…and who gave his life for a true friend in the name of _ohana_. E-Vile didn't have anyone…only 627 did."

Jumba nodded. "For someone as young as you, you have real wisdom."

Nick "hmmphed". "It's just right and wrong, it's no biggie. I just…I'm just sure of this stuff. And I'm sure 627 was good deep down, no matter how much he tried to hide it. It came out eventually. And...when I get back to the present...me and Lilo are gonna give him a name, like he deserves...a GOOD name."

"We still don't know where Heartwing is though." Angel said sadly. "I miss that little dragon."

Nick blinked. "You know…we should go back to the house. Maybe there's something in Jumba and Pleakley's room that could help us."

Jumba rubbed his chin. "Long shot…but what else have we left to do?"

And so, our brave and elite (okay, not THAT elite) cadre made their way to Lilo and Stitch's house, but Nick continued to think of 627. Eventually they reached it, and were walking up the driveway when…

"What?" Rupert stiffened, his ears twitching. "I hear…someone…"

Stitch, Angel and Page did so as well. "Someone is at the house…and…it's Heartwing!" Angel said. "I recognize his voice!" They all bolted up the driveway and ran up the slope, seeing, on the steps…

"Alone there…in a sea of blue…it circles eeevery aaaafternoon."

"It…it is!" Pleakley exclaimed.

"…A single hawk…in God's great sky…"

"My son!" Jumba called out.

"Looking down with…God's own eeeyeeeee!"

"Heartwing!" Nick shouted.

"It soars above…Reunion Hill…" Heartwing sang purposefully, voice flowing and crystal clear. "I pray he'll spiiiiiral...hiiiiigherrrrr still! As if from such…an aaaaaaltituuuude…he just might keep…my love…infuuuuuused!"

"Wow, that's the most words he's ever said in one sitting!" Angel exclaimed.

Heartwing looked down at them with those big eyes of his and slowly blinked.

"It must have been…in Late September…when last I climbed…Reunion Hill." He smiled sadly at all of them, nodding his head. "It…it's good to see you all here. There's someone else who wants to see you all as well."

The door to the house opened. Someone who was unmistakably Charlie walked out…but…but he was still a child, bright-eyed and innocent-looking, with blond hair.

"Hey everyone." Charlie said happily. "I'm glad you're here. Me and Heartwing have been cleaning up while you're gone. I've got some Kool-Aid inside, who wants some?"

Everyone gaped. Nick finally spoke first. "Chuh-Ch-Charlie? But…but you're…you're not aged at all! What…what's going on?"

Charlie smiled. "Nick…I can't tell you. I made a pinky swear and everything, buddy! But enough about me. Come on in, have some Kool-Aid! It's _Bluuuue_!"

Soon, they were all sitting at the table. Nick was sipping some Kool-Aid, simply enjoying how it tasted. He hadn't had Kool-Aid in at least a year. Everyone else save for Heartwing and Nick were all stressing out on how Charlie could be young. Why wasn't Nick? Simple…he just didn't feel like being stressed. He was "going with it".

"So uh…this is um…good Kool-Aid." Angel commented.

"Thanks." Charlie said, nodding. "I hope its cool enough. Is it? I can give you some more ice cubes?"

"Uh, no, I'm good." Angel said, raising a hand. Charlie smiled. "Okay! So, Heartwing, mind telling everyone why you're here?"

Heartwing nodded. "I will. Nick…you need me. My power. Am I right?"

Nick nodded, putting down the cup of blue Kool-Aid. The thing that really surprised him was that Heartwing was speaking more frequently. "Yeah. We really could use your help beating Kaiser and saving the island." Nick said. "But…tell me, what happened to you after…well, after Lilo…after…"

He couldn't say any more. Heartwing understood. "I am…glad you cannot allow yourself to forget her." Heartwing said. "I am glad you still keep her in your heart. That pain inside…it is human. It is real. It gives your purpose…but more importantly, it reminds you to hold her in your memory."

"…I know I shouldn't forget her…and I don't wanna, but…I wish it wouldn't hurt."

"Nick, the pain will not go away until you make things right. It is there to remind you of what you must do and must not do."

"Huh?"

Heartwing took Nick's shoulder. Nick blinked. "Nick…" Heartwing said, his voice quiet, contemplative. "You must not forget her or the wonderful thing your love for her and hers for you was. But you must use this memory to remind you…that she must be avenged. Her death should NOT have happened."

Nick nodded. "I know. I'll…I'll fix everything once I get the Time Board, but Kaiser has it, and we need your help."

"I will give it to you, but first you should know what happened after I was forced away…"

**TEN YEARS AGO, AFTER LILO'S DEATH…**

Kaiser casually walked down the street with Jumba and Angel by his side, brainwashed. 561, 621 and 627 were also there, walking behind him. Kaiser sneered. "It's so easy gaining power. It'll be KEEPING it that will be tough…" People seeing the little parade were filled with a terrible sense of foreboding and fear, and ran away.

Kaiser snickered. "Now for the next stage of my plan. Gentleman…and lady…" He added, nodding at Angel. "To the Mayor's offic-"

"_MURDERER_!!!"

Heartwing jumped out from behind a nearby palm tree, slamming into Kaiser, his claws digging in deep. "You killed _ohana_! _MURDERER_! **_MURDERER_**!"

Kaiser laughed. "Ah, the dragon shows his face. If you'd shown it sooner, you could have saved them…but no, you were AFRAID."

Heartwing's eye twitched, as did his claws.

"You were afraid of me. Of the others. All you could do was watch as those you loved were slaughtered."

Heartwing bit his tongue. White tears flowed from his eyes.

"You were a coward, dragon of light. Despite all your power, despite your desire to do good, you are still just a lonely, lost little child. And soon…"

Kaiser grabbed Heartwing's throat. Heartwing gasped as Kaiser's lips parted in a cruel sneer. "You won't even HAVE that power."

Heartwing felt as if his very soul was being ripped from him. It was as if someone was flaying him alive from the inside. He screamed as his white aura seeped into Kaiser as the evil experiment cackled. Heartwing looked into Angel's eyes and saw no recognition, and the same went for his father. He turned to his cousins, eyes pleading…

None would meet his gaze. Heartwing fell to the ground, badly weakened. He could barely lift his arms and legs. "Uhhh…you…you murderer…" He whispered. Kaiser kicked his muzzle and he flopped back, groaning horribly. Kaiser stepped on his body and literally walked over him, motioning for the others to follow him. All of them followed Kaiser's example, save for 561, who looked down at his fallen, near-dead cousin.

"Why did you even try?" He asked.

"Family…" Heartwing gasped. "Means…nobody's …forgotten…"

561 blinked slowly, then shook his head, walking over Heartwing and after the others. Heartwing slowly dragged himself up, teetering towards the dense forests…

**THE PRESENT…**

"I hid for 3 years…then Charlie found me. He told me what he was, and when he did, I KNEW…I knew my purpose, what I was to do…what I AM to do. I have a great destiny." He looked into Nick's eyes. "As do you."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, I…I always hoped I did." Heartwing smiled. "Nick, you need my help, but I…am very, very weak. I cannot…cannot fight anymore. I am not even long for this world. But I'm very…very glad I found you. It took seven years of living alone with Charlie…but I found you."

Heartwing hopped down from his seat. He walked towards the living room, with Nick following him. The others did as well, Charlie at the head, looking concerned. "Heartwing? You're…you're not gonna do it NOW, are…are you?" He asked, voice barely a whisper.

Heartwing nodded sadly. "I have to. He needs it." He turned to Nick. "Nick…I have waited a long time to give you the gift of Light. You must use it well. Kneel."

Nick kneeled on one knee. Heartwing touched his heart. "A dragon has great powers. My heart…can give life to those that lose it…my soul can grant a person wings…but I have a different kind of power within me." He bowed his head, solemnly. "I am a guardian of light, possessor of great power. And that power must go to you now."

He put his clawed hand on Nick's heart. "Receive my power." Heartwing said softly. "May you always see the light at the end of the tunnel, and know that there are lights that never go out."

With these words, a tiny, twinkling spark of pure light suddenly shone from Heartwing's heart. It traveled up to his arm, and slowly crept across it, going into Nick's chest, going into Nick's heart. Suddenly Nick closed his eyes, and a moment later a beautiful, shining aura of light flared up around him, climbing up to the roof, seemingly wanting to poke through the roof and rise up to the heavens. Heartwing nodded, and Nick opened his eyes, smiling happily.

"Heartwing, _mahalo_." Nick said. The dragon broke into a huge smile as shining white tears fell from his eyes. He hugged Nick. "I'll always be with you." He said, sobbing slightly.

_And I know that we're gonna be fine…  
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time…_

Nick gasped. Heartwing was…vanishing, into little points of light, flying and dissipating into the air. "Heartwing…you're…" Heartwing nodded. "It's time I left. Farewell, everyone. I'm…happy…that I…I saw you all again."

_As long as we liiiive, time passes byyyy…  
And we won't get it back when we diiiiieeee…_

_Come over,  
Come over… _

Wooohooohooohaaaaawwww!

_Come over,  
Come over… _

Wooohooohooohaaaaawwww!

Jumba rushed forward, getting on his knees and trying to hug Heartwing, but his arms passed through. Heartwing was see-through, intangible, unable to be grasped. Jumba just sat there, crying. "My son, don't leave me…" Angel, Page and Stitch were crying too, as were the others. Nick stared into Heartwing's eyes.

"I have to go now. It's just…just time. But I promise I'll see you all again. Nick will make things right if he just believes." Heartwing told them, smiling happily. He looked over at Nick.

_Come over,  
Come over…_

_I gotta know…_

_And we won't get it back when we diiie!_

"Heh." Heartwing chuckled, and gave Nick a thumbs up. Nick gave it right back. And with that, Heartwing vanished in a burst of little light sparks. They flew into the air, gradually vanishing as they went higher and higher, until nothing remained that would prove, in any way, shape or form, that Heartwing, Experiment 421, had been there.

Jumba covered his eyes. Pleakley walked over and patted him on the shoulder. "It'll be alright." He comforted him. Nick looked down at his hands as they glowed with white.

_Well I know that it's earrrllyyyy…_

"Thank you, Heartwing." Nick thought. Charlie wiped his eyes on his arms. "Sniff…sniff…gee, I…I didn't want him to go yet…" He said. "I…I thought maybe he'd…stay longer, but…I guess he…just had to go."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, he had a duty to fulfill, and…and I guess he fulfilled it. I'm just glad that…that I got to see him before he left, and that…that he was happy."

Stitch nodded finally. "I…think we should head back to the base now. We should get some sleep." Rupert meanwhile, was bawling, eyes shut, crying at the ceiling. "BAAAWWWW! That…that was so _beautiful_…"

Nick nodded. He looked over at Charlie, who looked melancholy. "What's wrong, Charlie?" He asked. Charlie sighed. "You're leaving me. I didn't want you to go yet, but…well, I know you have to help the whole world. I guess playing can wait."

Keoni spoke up. "Charlie…how come you didn't age?"

Charlie smiled, and waved a finger in the air. "Uh-uh-uh! Not allowed to tell you, silly! I'm SPECIAL, don't you know that?"

Nick grinned. "You sure are, Charlie. I'll see you around, okay?" Charlie nodded. "Oh, and Nick?" Nick blinked. "Yeah?" "I uh, have some advice. Whatever you do…"

Charlie suddenly became dead serious. "_Don't do it_. Don't kill that bully or any of his friends. If…if you do that, you'll be as bad as they are."

Stitch growled and spat on the ground. "Charlie, don't be stupid! They deserve it! And it would be easy!"

"The easy way is usually not the right way." Nick said. "I wasn't GONNA kill them. But they have to be punished for what they did." He added, slamming his fist into an open palm. "I'll kick their butts to the moon!"

Charlie beamed. "Now THAT'S the Nick I know! Now you guys need some serious firepower if you're gonna take on Kaiser. The Resistance troops need heavy artillery, am I right?"

Everyone nodded. Charlie grinned. "Well, then it's a good thing I snuck into your house after those jerks tore it up. Follow me!" He walked out of the house and everyone followed him. They made their way through the forest, going in deeper…deeper…and then finally they found what looked odd…a patch of dandelions, all in a small clearing.

"Huh?"

Charlie walked up to the patch and knelt down…pulling it off. It was actually a cover, and beneath was a large hole filled to the brim with various technological objects. Jumba's eyes lit up.

"Is plasma flux rifle! The Ectoplasmic Capacitor! And…and my precious Spritzifier!"

"Spritzifier?" Keoni asked, confused. Jumba reached into the hole and pulled out a very small looking tube, with a button on the top and a little nozzle just below it.

"Watch." He said. He pointed it at a nearby bush and hit the button. A small spray shot from the nozzle, hitting the bush. Within seconds the bush was vegetable slush.

"Ewwwww." Victoria said, making a face. Jumba grinned evilly. "Perfect…still works perfectly."

"I didn't know what was what, so I just grabbed everything." Charlie said. "I knew this stuff…well, I knew it was dangerous, and I knew that those guys were **super** dangerous, so I thought I'd better keep this stuff away from them. Did I uh…did I do good?" Charlie asked.

Pleakley patted him on the head. "You did GREAT, Charlie. Now we've got the weapons we need to take that dictator down." "We still need a plan." Nick said, turning to Jumba and Rupert. "Think you guys can come up with something?"

Jumba gave Nick a look. "Is coconut brown?" Rupert laughed. "Of COURSE we can come up with a plan! I don't know if it'll work, but we can sure as heck try!"


	55. A Very Special Day

**CHAPTER ****FIFTY-THREE**

A VERY SPECIAL DAY

**Author's Note: **

**Ah hem. Now this next part is going to be a lot like an after-school special show, with "confessional moments", a musical number or two, and of course, a lesson at the end. It will also be slightly fourth-wall breaking at times. Otherwise, enjoy! **

Nick and the others were back at the base the next morning, eating breakfast. Jumba and Rupert were going over plans, and Angel and Stitch were sharing pancakes with each other. Nick happened to be cooking more for everyone, and was singing a song softly to himself.

"Ohhh, do you like how…I sing a love song? Do you like Vincent Van Gogh? Ohhh…I like to walk…the streets at midnight! I wanted you…to know...that I'm really not like this, so lost and in question…when so much has been left unsaaaiiid…you fill in the blank spots, I guess-"

"Hey Nick, give it a rest with Brooke Ramel."

"Why?" Nick asked, putting the pancakes on a serving plate an bringing them over to everyone else.

"You're making Rupert cry, that's why." Angel said, pointing. Sure enough, Rupert was crying away.

"WAAA!" He sobbed.

"I know he can't help it if songs like that make him sad, but could you sing something else?"

Nick made a "Hmm" face. "Um…all right. I know! I'm…too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it _hurts_…"

**SFX: Crickets Chirp **

"On second thought, stick to Brooke Ramel." Stitch told him.

Nick suddenly snapped his fingers. "I know! I do a dang good "Accidentally in Love", remember? How about th-th-th…"

Nick suddenly turned morose. Jumba's eyes widened. "Uh oh…boy has hit another stage."

"What?"

Nick began pacing, muttering to himself. "She's gone, she can't be gone, oh God, what can I do? I'll do anything, I'll do anything…"

"You said boy didn't believe you at first when you told him little girl was gone? That was denial. Then you said showing anger. Now seems to have hit "bargaining" stage."

"Stage of what?"

"Stagings of grief, of course."

Stitch's eyes widened. "What?!? NOW?!?"

"Shh! He will be needing support through difficulties…"

Nick was now on his knees, hands clasped in prayer. "Please God, if this is all just a dream I swear I'll…I'll stop looking at breasts like I sometimes do! I'll never steal anything from my brother ever again! I'll-I'll join up with a church! I'll-I'll-I'll give more money to the poor, I'll…"

"Wow, he's _losing_ it…" Victoria said softly. It was a sad sight. Then something happened that changed the mood in an instant.

"Um…everyone?"

Everyone in the kitchen all looked up. Pleakley was walking towards them from the hallway, looking a bit…okay, VERY preoccupied.

"I uh…I kind of need some help…"

"What with? The bathroom?" Keoni asked.

"Or are there rats in your bedroom again?" Victoria wanted to know.

"No, no, I…I just…well, it struck me that we could die any day now, and before I die, I want to…want to know if I'm gay or straight, and I want to tell my parents if I AM gay, and I…well, I kind of don't quite know…"

**SFX: Da DUM! **

"What the heck was that?" Keoni muttered.

Nick was suddenly jolted out of his stage by the statement of Pleakley and the sound effect his watch had caused. He raised an eyebrow. "You don't know whether you're gay or straight? But aren't you like, uh…40 years old?"

"I'm not…I'm only 39!"

"Will be 40 next month." Jumba told him.

"Anyway, are you guys going to help me?" Pleakley asked.

Nick nodded. "I'll help…but first we gotta find out if you're gay."

"How are we going to do that?" Pleakley asked.

Stitch scratched his head. Page paced the floor. Nick rubbed his chin. Jumba put his finger to his mouth, thinking, and EVERYONE but Pleakley went "Hmmmmm…"

EVENTUALLY…

"I've got it!" Rupert exclaimed. He rushed back to his room. Sounds of scratching pen, paper, and some cutting were heard, along with many "kasplort" sounds.

Finally Rupert came back.

"Okay, I've got an inkblot test all made up!"

**SFX: Crickets chirping **

"What the heck was that?"

Rupert looked offended. "Don't give me that look everyone! I took some Psychology classes in E.G.U! I know what I'm doing…mostly. Anyway, Pleakley, all you gotta do is look at the pictures I'm going to show to you…then you tell everyone what you see. If all goes well, we'll know if you're gay or not."

Pleakley nodded and sat down. "Let's do it." The cycloptic alien said in a dramatic, tough-guy voice.

**Confessional Room, Occupant: Keoni **

"You know, I once had a crush on Pleakley, but that was back when I was a stupid kid…and when I thought he was a girl. But once I found out he wasn't, and I realized that he cross-dressed, I felt for SURE he was gay. But hey, now was the time for the truth to come to light."

**The test is administered! **

"First, I'll ask you a few questions about yourself. Answer truthfully."

"All right."

Rupert held out a paw. "First, I need a pair of glasses." Nick blinked. "Huh?" "To complete the look! Glasses, glasses!"

Victoria ran to her room and got a pair of reading glasses. Then she gave them to Rupert, who nodded. "Thank you, beebay."

"Huh?"

"It means big-breasted one."

The following scene of violence that ensued was messy, gross, and we're not going to show it to you. But when it finally died down and Rupert had finished apologizing and getting medical treatment for what had happened to him, the testing resumed.

"Okay, uh…ow, my arm…here we go. Pleakley, what is your full name?"

"Wendy Southcut Pleakley."

"Southcut?"

"On my planet, our middle name is always the place we were born."

"Interesting name for a town. Anyway, what…is your quest?"

"I want to find out if I'm gay?"

"What…is your favorite color?"

"Mauve."

Keoni snickered. "Dude, that color is SO-"

Nick kicked him in the shin. "OW! OW-OW-OW!" "Don't be an a-hole!" Nick said. Keoni grumbled.

"What's your favorite food?"

"Taladorian sandwiches."

"They ARE good…" Jumba admitted.

"What's your favorite quote?"

"Hmm…I guess that would have to be…uh…" Pleakley thought for a few minutes. "Oh, I know! "Never go back"."

"All right. Next question. Are you gay?"

"Huh?"

"Are you gay?"

"I don't think so."

"Next question." Rupert went on. "Homosayswhat?"

"Whu?"

Keoni groaned. "Are we ever gonna find out if he's gay or what?"

"Okay, now let's move on to the inkblot tests." Rupert said. He had arraigned a pile of inkblot sheets in front of him and now, one by one, held them up before Pleakley so that the alien could get a nice look at it. "What do you see?"

"I see a butterfly."

"Right. Next?"

"I see a rainbow."

"Okay, next?"

"I see a unicorn."

"Okay. Next?" Rupert held up a card with a big blot on it, in a very distinct shape.

"I see the Mona Lisa."

"Okay. Next?" He held up a card that had an inkblot of what looked like Elvis.

"I see dead people."

**Confessional Room, Occupant: Nick **

"Is there anyone out there who DIDN'T see that joke coming?"

**Back to the test!**

"What's your favorite song?"

"Willy Won't Go" by, uh, the band Sweet."

"What makes you sick every time you see it?"

"I, uh, don't have much of a gag reflex, I kinda never did."

"Hmmm…okay, this is the second-to-last question. What do you like better? Hot dogs or tacos?"

"Hmm…I dunno, I guess I kind of like hot dogs better than tacos."

"Okay, very last question…would you have sex with me?"

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that, that is just-"

"All right, relax. You've told me plenty. Now, lemme check my data."

**Confessional, Victoria:**

"Rupert looked over all the stuff he'd scribbled down about Pleakley, and looked it over for a good eight minutes or so before he finally told us the verdict...and nobody was more nervous about it than Pleakley himself."

Rupert put down the papers and scratched his head. "Well, although it's kind of hard to be 100 sure…you do indeed seem to have homosexual urges in you."

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO_!!!" Pleakley shouted to the heavens.

Sobbing, he ran to his bedroom and locked the door. Everyone could hear him crying all the same.

"Gee…I feel so sorry for him." Nick said sadly. "How's he going to handle telling his mom and dad if this is how he takes it when someone tells HIM?"

Page suddenly sprung up. "I've got it! Get him in here, fast!"

**Confessional, Page:**

"In the Bible, a crowd of people in Sodom demanded of Lot to bring out the male visitors that he had so that they could have sex with them. These male visitors, these guests of Lot, happened to be angels, but the crowd didn't know that, of course. If they had, they probably would have changed their minds! Lot refused. He then offered to send out his daughters so that the crowd could "do what they liked" with them…a notion that most of us knowadays, myself included, are disgusted with…but he WAS just trying to help his angelic guests. In any case, the mob wouldn't be placated by young, as um, as Gunner might put it, "hot-to-trots". They were a festering, simmering mob of homosexuality. But that's not the reason God smote the city. The problem with Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't just one thing, they were FILLED with sin. And even if they weren't homosexual, you don't just go around banging on people's doors and demanding they let their male guests out so you can put your penis in their butt! It's just wrong! So as such, I don't really have anything against homosexual people. And I just wanted to help Pleakley…"

Everyone gathered in the kitchen. Pleakley was being comforted by Jumba and Nick (who was still feeling crummy himself), while Stitch is picking his nose and Page addresses them all from the center of the kitchen.

"I have two ideas as to how to fix this, um, "situation." The first way is something I saw on TV all the time."

"What's that?" Victoria asked.

Page walked over to Pleakley, Jumba and Nick's chairs. Jumba and Nick stood aside as Page made a motion for Pleakley to stand up straight. Then Page jumped on the table and smacked Pleakley on the face!

"Satan, leave this man!"

WHACK!

"OW!"

"Satan, _leave_ this man!"

WHACK!

"YOW!"

"Satan, leave this man!"

WHACK!

"OUCH!"

"Satan, **LEAVE** this man!"

WHACK!

"YEOWWW!"

"I cast thee OUT!" WHACK! "I cast thee OUT!" WHACK! "I-CAST-THEE-OUT!" THWOCKA!

THUD. Pleakley fell on his back, dazed and sore in the face. Very sore. Page hopped off the table, floating down gently through the air to Pleakley's side. "Sorry about that, I was only trying what those televangelists do. So…do you feel any different?"

"…my…face….burns…"

"Hmm. I guess it didn't work. Funny, it usually works on TV."

Nick was laughing so hard he had to leave the room for a while. Eventually he came right back. "Hoo…hoo…uh…I, uh…think we should try something else…"

Page nodded. "Then in that case, I suggest we do a little bit of role-playing." Page said. "That way we can get Pleakley's confidence up so he can tell his family of his sexual desires! Simple, elegant, and it really works!"

"What are you doing, advertising for a laundry detergent?" Keoni asked. This solicited the usual response from Nick.

"OW! Stop kicking me!"

"Then don't be an a-hole!"

Page continued. "We're going to have to pick who's going to be the mother and who's going to be his father." "And my brother." Pleakley added. "Okay, fair enough." Page agreed. "Now then, let's have…um…I know! Keoni, you can be Pleakley's mom."

"WHAT?!?"

"This is what God calls "Karma", Keoni." Nick told him, a smug smile on his face.

"Jumba, you can be Pleakley's father."

"All right, um…uh…" Jumba thought about his role and then acted as gruff as possible. "Uh, I am loving football and belching loudly! BRAAP!" And then, for added effect, he strode over to Keoni. "Why are you not cooking special anymore?" He yelled, punching Keoni in the arm. "Ow!"

"Don't you hit my mother!" Pleakley shouted, punching Jumba in the chest. "Ow!"

"Uh, don't you hit your father?" Keoni muttered, half-heartedly punching Pleakley's arm.

"Cool! Punchy party!" Nick yelled, punching Keoni in the stomach. He doubled over with a "WOOHOOOHOOO!" and fell to the ground, groaning.

"Cool! You punch just like my brother!" Pleakley exclaimed. Page smiled. "Great. Then Nick can be your brother. Now then, let's get this role play started."

Keoni picked himself up, and he, Jumba and Nick all faced Pleakley. "Go ahead." Page told Pleakley.

"All right. Uh, everyone? I have to tell you something…I'm gay."

"You're WHA!?!" Jumba exclaimed. "Well, I have only this to say…" Keoni said. "Uh, DUUUUHHHH!" Nick raised an eyebrow. "Well, gee…okay, okay, so you're gay. That's…that's fine with me, I guess."

Jumba shook his head and stomped his foot. "No, no, no! You CANNOT being gay! Dn it, I made your mother eat all the foods that the butchiest men eating when she was pregnant!"

"You still ate more than I could ever make on my second job!" Keoni shouted. Jumba growled. "If certain wife had just stopped marker snortings, then we could have afforded a nice home, perhaps!" "At least oil-based markers knew how to make me feel happy!"

Nick stepped back, eyes widening, shaking slightly. "Guys, stop…stop fighting, stop…" He than ran for the bathroom as fast as his legs could carry him, crying.

Pleakley beamed. "Wow, you guys are really working hard on this role-playing stuff."

Stitch slapped his hand against his face. "Ooh, jeez. This is naga bootifa…not cool at all, uh-uh. This is gonna end bad, I can tell!"

**Confessional, Stitch:**

"What the? What's THIS room for? Where am I?"

A shepherd's crook suddenly emerges from the side of the confessional…

"What the he-" YOINK!

**Confessional, Angel:**

"Well, we all moved on from there. Pleakley, his mother, father and brother were all eating dinner, and all of them weren't talking much to each other. Well, most of them anyway…"

Pleakley puts down his fork and looks up from his chili. His "brother" sighs.

"Pleakley, I think it's fine if you wanna be gay, but could you maybe, uh…talk to Mom and Dad about it?"

"They won't talk to me at all! Come on guys, aren't we going to talk about this?"

"You are NOT gay." Jumba said gruffly, wearing a trucker hat but NOT wearing any shirt. He was also wearing a tie. Keoni was wearing a pink apron and a barrette. "I am forbidding you, pure and simply."

Pleakley turned to Keoni, eye pleading. "Mom?"

Suddenly a "ding-dong" sound was heard. "Oh, who could that be?" Keoni exclaimed, going to the door. She opened it and Victoria came in, wearing the absolute skimpiest, unbelievably thin cheerleader outfit that Nick had ever seen. (But that wasn't saying too much, to be honest. In reality, on a scale of 1 to 10, and ten being downright Paris Hilton in style, it was just a 7.2.)

"Oh look! It's your old high school girlfriend, Busty McBreasts!" Jumba exclaimed.

SFX: Ba-boing!

At this point, Nick started laughing so hard that he had to leave the room.

**Confessional, Nick: **

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BUSTY MCBREASTS! WOOP! HA-HA-HAAA! HA! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA… HOO! Ha…ha-ha…hohh…haaahhh…okay, I think I'm...pfft! Ha ha ha! Busty McBreasts! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!..."

Keoni's eyes immediately widened, but then he got back into the role-play.

"Hey there, Busty. Pleakley, come on over and say hi!"

Pleakley nervously got up. "Um…hi…Busty…"

"Hey there, Pleakley." Victoria said, twirling her hair. "I've been practicing this trick where I drink six beers in one sitting and then suck whatever body part you want me to suck…I'm getting REAL good at it. Want me to suck your antenna? Or maybe your jargons? Or maybe your glorfnacks?"

"Um, Busty, I'm really flattered that you came here, but, uh…well, I found out that I'm gay, and uh…well…"

"What?" Victoria shouted. "You're gay? And to think, I let you get to second base with me!" Sobbing, she ran off. Jumba stood up. "You stupid little fggot! Getting out of my house right NOW!"

Pleakley's eye bugged out in horror and shock. "But…I'm your son!"

Jumba let out a big "pfft". "Son is DEAD." He growled, and then ripped a piece of his tie off and began to say something vaguely sad and somber in some alien language. Pleakley turned to Keoni. "Mom? Do something!"

Keoni looked at the ground nervously. "I…I have a cake in the oven!" He exclaimed, running off.

Pleakley hung his head and left the room. Jumba walked off as well. "Am getting a beer." He muttered.

**Confessional, Pleakley: **

"So now I was gay, I had no home, and no friends. I…I wished I was dead. What could I do?"

Pleakley sighed and sat up against the wall. "What am I going to do now?" He whined to himself. "Where am I going to go?"

Stitch suddenly came on the scene. "Oh. Hi, uh…who are you?"

He was wearing a tough leather jacket and shades. "Hey, you look new in town. Need help getting around?"

Pleakley blinked. "Um…okay, sure. I have nobody now."

"Name's Patch. Somethin' I can help you with?"

"Well, I'm…I'm just depressed…you see, my parents don't want me to be gay, and…I think I ought to just kill myself. I just can't-"

Stitch held up a hand. "Wait…they don't want you to be gay? And for that, you'd kill yourself? Jeez, kid, don't you know? You gotta stay true to yourself, and you gotta keep on the bright side."

"But everything's gone wrong! Why shouldn't I just give up?"

**BGM: Up! (Red version) By Shania Twain**

"Kid…you gotta keep those spirits up. Things'll get better!"

Stitch began to tap his foot. One, two, one two three four!

_It's 'bout as bad as it could be!  
Seems everybody's buggin' meeee!  
Like nothing wants to go my way--  
yeah, it just ain't been my day,  
Nothin's comin' easily! _

Stitch points at his face. _  
_  
_Even my skin is acting weird!  
I wish that I could grow a beard…  
Then I could cover up my spots,  
not play connect the dots,  
I just wanna disappear!_

Stitch grabbed Pleakley and swung him around, dancing.

_Up--up--up--  
Can only go up from here!  
Up--up--up--Up  
where the clouds gonna clear!  
Up--up--up--  
There's no way but up from here! _

Pleakley blinked. "Really?" Stitch nodded. _  
_  
_Even something as simple as…  
Forgettin' to fill up on gaaaas!  
There ain't no explanation why--  
things like that can make you cry,  
Just gotta learn to have a laugh!_

_Oh, oh and up--up--up--  
Can only go up from here!  
Up--up--up--Up  
where the clouds gonna clear!  
Up--up--up--  
There's no way but up from here!  
_  
Oohhh, yeah, yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah, yeaaaah, yeaah, yeeaaaah!

"Things have GOT to get better." Stitch told Pleakley

_When everything is goin' wroooong…  
Don't worry, it won't last for loooong!  
Yeah, it's all gonna come around,  
Don't go let it get you down,  
You gotta keep on holding on! _

It's 'bout as bad as it could be!

"Bad as it could be!" Several rebel soldiers sang.

_Seems everybody's buggin' me! _

"Everybody's buggin' me!"

_Like nothing want to go my way--  
yeah, it just ain't been my day  
Nothin's comin' easily! _

Everybody sang out!_  
_

_And Up--up--up--  
Can only go up from here!  
Up--up--up--Up  
where the clouds gonna clear!  
Up--up--up--  
There's no way but up from here!_

_Oh-- I'm going up, I'm going up! I'm going up-up-up, I'm going up! _

"I'm going up!"

_Oohhh, yeah, yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah, yeaaaah, yeaah, yeeaaaah!_

(Music ends.) Everyone stopped with a flourish, gesturing towards Pleakley, who stood up and nodded.

"You're right. Things will get better! I'll find a place that will accept me for who I am, I just have to look hard!"

"That's the spirit!" Stitch said. "Here, I got a girl in the big city that I'm going to be visiting. Why not come with me? You can room with us!"

"All right!"

The two of them went to the " Big City", which was, in reality, the dining hall.

"Wow, it's so big!" Pleakley gasped. Then he saw Angel. "Oh, is that your girlfriend?"

"Yep! Say hello to Videl! How ya doin', toots?"

Confessional, Angel:

"I don't like being called "toots", but since this was a roleplay, I let it pass. If Stitch ever calls me it again after this is all over though, I'm never going to let him touch my breasts ever again!"

Pleakley held out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Videl."

"Videl" rolled her eyes. "Look kid, I can tell you're new AND you're gay. You reek of it. So here are some rules…don't touch my makeup bag, don't use the stove for anything other than food, and don't drink my apple juice! Remember that…" She smiled. "And we'll get along fine. Comprende, honey?"

"Uh…I guess."

MEANWHILE…

"…you shouldn't have been so harsh on him." Keoni said.

"Stop talking to me like that! Am your husband!" Jumba snarled.

"You're drunk. I'll talk to you however I like, you lazy bum!" Keoni shouted, hands on hips. Jumba tossed his half-empty beer bottle over his shoulder and it shattered. He buried his face in his huge hands.

"You…you are not understanding, if the guys at work knew, would be teased, would be…"

"So it was really more about you then about our son, is that it?!?" Keoni demanded to know. "He's your own son, and you drove him from his home just because you were worried about WATER COOLER TALK!?!"

Jumba looked up, gasping. "Oh my…you…you are right, I…what have I been DOING?!? I…I am horrible father! I…I must find son!"

Nick, meanwhile, was mopping the floor from the beer bottle breakage. "Do you give lessons…on how to love you? Is my poetry simple and smaaall? I like to stay…in bed on Mondays! I wanted you…to know!"

BACK TO PLEAKLEY!

"Gee, Patch, thanks for letting me stay in your house."

"No problem, buddy. Now then, I kinda need a favor."

"What's that?"

"Well, I kinda need some money to pay the heating bill, and I was hoping you could help me out."

"Well, how much do you need?"

"200 dollars."

"Oh dear, I…I've only got 94…"

Stitch rubbed his chin. "Well, I know a way you could earn some good money quick…"

"How's that?"

"Um…well, there's…there's good money to be made at the docks…doing favors for sailors…and uh…I kinda promised Guido you'd give him a blo-"

Pleakley screamed and ran. Stitch slapped his forehead. "Darn it! I should have seen this coming! Now I've gotta stop him and make sure Videl doesn't find out!"

Pleakley ran down the halls with Stitch chasing behind him. "Get back here! All you have to do is ten minutes! Honest!"

" GET AWAY FROM ME!" Pleakley screamed. "GOD, I DON'T WANNA BE GAY!"

Around that time, Nick was walking down the hall.

"Wiiiiill yoouuu…hold me if I cry? Stay by my side till I sleep? Sooooometiiimes…I still my first love! He gave his heart…to meeee! Now I want you here…with me!"

As he made a turn, he slammed into Pleakley, or rather, Pleakley slammed into him. The two fell back, groaning. Nick looked up. "Pleakley? What on Earth are you doing?"

"I don't want to be gay! Help me, brother!" Pleakley sobbed, hugging Nick tightly. "Well, gee, I don't know what I can do…wait…we can ask the genius down the street!"

"Huh?"

Nick stands up and leads Pleakley (and Stitch and Angel) to Rupert, who's fiddling with, well, his fiddle. "Hey mad doctor, can you cure homosexuality?"

Rupert blinked. "Well…I could try…" He said. "I don't know…we scientists have yet to pin down in homosexuality is something that messing with DNA and the brain can change…but I guess I can be the first to crack it. Come on, this way, to my lab!"

**Confessional, Rupert:**

"I set up all of the equipment I could, then placed Pleakley underneath the scanner. I scanned his brain and looked for anything that could possibly be construed as an abnormality in his brain, anything at all that was out of the ordinary from a normal brain scan of one of his own kind. Unfortunately…the result…well…"

Rupert groaned and rubbed his eyes as he looked at the results. "I…I can't help you. The scanner's not picking up anything unusual. I guess the simple truth is that people can't be "fixed" or "cured" of homosexuality any more than they can fly by flapping theirs arms and jumping up and down!...avian-types excluded, of course…"

Pleakley sobbed. "Nooo! I don't wanna be gay!"

At that moment, Keoni and Jumba burst into the room. Jumba "ah-hemed". "Son, I have to tell you something!" He announced. "I…was…wrong. Very wrong."

Pleakley blinked. "…"

"If…if you're really homosexual, if you're gay…then I should just accept it…and loving as son. No matter what people you want to date, no matter what body parts you like more than others, no matter what you may want to put in where or up where, will always be my son."

"OUR son." Keoni added.

"Our gay son!" They both said proudly.

"Yeah, and being gay isn't that bad." Victoria said. "To tell the truth, my cousin's gay, and she's really cool. Well, it's too bad. I always thought you were cute, Pleakley."

"Thanks, Busty."

Nick snickered. Victoria twirled her hair. "Hey, uh…how about one more kiss? For old time's sake?" Pleakley shrugged. "Why not?"

Victoria walked over and kissed him on the lips. His eye widened. Victoria stepped back, a little bit surprised. "Pleakley? Are you okay?"

"Hungh-huh-hungha-hungha-hungh…" Pleakley muttered, a stupid/silly expression on his face. He looked like he'd been hit in the face with a fish. Keoni suddenly looked at Pleakley's lower region.

"Oh…my…GOD. Pleakley! You're…you're not gay!" He shouted. "Look!"

They all looked. Sure enough…

"Oh!" Victoria exclaimed.

Nick blinked. "Um, is-is that what I think it is?..."

**Confessional, Stitch: **

"Oh, I'm back in here. Okay, uh what do I-oh! I get it! All right, we were all surprised, myself included, at what we saw. And confused. So if Pleakley wasn't just totally homosexual, if he got turned on by the kiss, then…?"

"Wait…he's got homosexual urges, but that…that thing, then-then this means that…" Nick looked from Pleakley to Jumba and Rupert. "What's going on?!?"

"Means he's bisexual!" Jumba exclaimed. "Is miracle!"

"Wow! I'm bi!" Pleakley said proudly. "I gotta go tell my folks!"

He went around the room and shook everyone's hands. "Thanks for the help, everyone! I've got an important call to make!" And with that, he walked off, humming a nameless intergalactic tune of some kind. Nick sighed happily. "Well, it looks like it's a happy ending after all." He said.

ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER…

"…yeah Mom, it's good to talk to you. Really, REALLY good. I know, I haven't called in months. Mom, is everyone there? Oh good! Listen, I simply have to tell you this! I'm bisexual!...yeah, that means I swing both ways! Listen, you won't believe what's happened to me, and what we're going to do soon! I have to tell you everything!"

**Confessional, Page: **

"So Pleakley found out he was bisexual, his family accepted this happily, and we all finally know. It's like a great weight was lifted off of all of our shoulders. I'm so happy for him…and I kind of envy him. I can't have sex because I'm in the priesthood. You know though, not every priest wants to have sex. Other people can be freaky too. You'd be surprised how strange other people in this town can be…"

QUITE SOME TIME AGO…

"So, you want to be a bell boy?"

"Um, Mr. Jameson, no. You stole me from off the sidewalk and stuffed me in your van."

"GOD stuffed you in my van!"

**Confessional, Robert Jones, private of the resistance: **

"I can't STAND anyone who's not heterosexual. Just you wait! He's going to croak in two chapters! He and the whole fruity lot of them! Croak like that idiot Mr. Jameson did! And I'm sure that kid Nick knows what I'm talking about!"

**Confessional, Nick: **

"I gotta admit that Mr. Jameson was _such_ a racist a-hole! But really, I don't have anything against gay or bisexual people! As long as they, like heterosexual people, keep their private lives out of their normal lives, and as long as they don't talk to me about sex at all, I'm perfectly fine…with…them? What the? What on EARTH is this hole for?"

"Um…we'll tell you when you're older and don't giggle at certain words." Pleakley said, snickering.

"Ha-ha. So funny I forgot to laugh!"

Charlie groans. "Boy am I glad I'm not in this chapter!"

"How'd YOU get in here? And what do you mean my chapter?"

Charlie blinks and chuckles nervously. "Um…er…heh-heh, um, funny story, that…uh…look, a man with a two tongues!"

"Steve Oedekirk? Where?!?"

"So long suckers! Ha-ha-ha! But seriously, take a bow, everyone."

_Everyone walks into the confessional room and bows dramatically as roses are thrown._

_And I'm really not like this…so lost and in question…and so much has been left unsaaaid! You fill in the blank spots…and guess at the hard parts…will you feel love in my beeeeed? _

_Do you believe…love's forever? Do you know what…dreams are for? _

_I want to love you the best I can… _

_I wanted you to know… _

_I wanted you…to know. _

FIN.

**Author's note: **

**I made this chapter for two reasons. One to address Pleakley's "thing" and one to do a little break from all of the dramatic, angsty, sad-turn stuff I'd been doing. Tell me what you think of my decision about Pleakley, I'd love to hear feedback. **


	56. God Only Knows

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR**

GOD ONLY KNOWS

It had been two days since Pleakley's realization of his true nature. Everyone had stayed away from Lilo' house for safety reasons…

That is, the safety of the resistance from Nick.

It had happened overnight. Something had changed him. He was now in a frightening state…a mixture of the stages of depression and anger. He swung from mood to mood. It was because of this that Jumba had realized that they had to move him away from others, so he couldn't hurt them.

Nick had willingly left in one of his "depressed" moments, but when he'd arrived at the house and had stepped inside he remembered 621's admission of guilt and had punched the couch through the window.

He'd cleaned up the mess in another depressed moment, but the pattern kept repeating. He'd break something while angry, clean it up somberly, and over and over. And he just wouldn't get over Lilo.

"Am not sure what to do." Jumba said. "Frankly…not sure Jumba can do anything to help…"

Page however, said he had an idea. He wanted to go over to Nick…alone.

"It's suicide!"

"He'll snap you in half!"

"Page, don't go!"

But Page was adamant. He would not give up. So they let him leave the base and go to Lilo's house. When he arrived, their were patch-jobs all over the house, messed-up roof tiles and broken windows that had been hastily put together. Page's sensitive hearing could detect what was unmistakably sweeping glass from the back…from the kitchen door.

He walked around the house to the backyard and saw Nick somberly sweeping shards of glass into his hands, bringing them over to a pile which he'd use to remake the window as best he could with some glue and heat. His hands were bleeding but had no scars. Once he dropped the pieces into the pile, he stood up and turned around, seeing Page. He blinked a few times.

"…hey." Nick finally said. His voice sounded flat, almost monotone. It was like someone had simply pulled the plug on the cord that connected him to life. He was runnin' on empty.

"Nick, I'm here to help and give guidance."

"If I want guidance, I'll go see a counselor. I don't want any help." Page saw that Nick's wounds were healing before his eyes, the blood dripping off until there was none left, not even a bruise or the tiniest mark to indicate he'd been handling glass with his bare hands.

Nick looked bad. He was only wearing a white shirt with jeans, and all were dirty. His hair was a mess, he didn't look like he'd been sleeping well, and his nose was stuffy, he kept sniffling. And most of all, his eyes…they were frightening. Not because they were bloodshot and tired, which they were, but beneath that light cover of sadness lay a boiling, steaming mass of fury and rage. He was a time-bomb waiting to explode.

"What do you really want, Nick?"

"…you know what." He said stonily, turning away. The sadness was turning to anger. "Just go…"

"Breaking things isn't going to bring her back…and doesn't it hurt to do so?"

Nick stopped suddenly. Page was worried he was going to turn around and try to rush him, but he didn't. He simply stood there, shaking slightly. Then Page realized he was sobbing silently.

"Y-y-y-you hear…you hear about heartbreak…it's…it's not just a saying, Page, my...my chest _**hurts**_…and it spread everywhere…I don't feel…feel anything like I used to. It's always nothing…or pain. It's like I'm not even living at all. And I-I-I don't even care about this little pain I get from breaking stuff or cleaning up messes."

Page nodded. "I understand. Nick…I'm sorry if you feel that you've been abandoned."

"I don't blame Lilo. I think…I think I hate what 621 did, but I can't bring myself to hate HIM…I just can't. I hate Kaiser, but I don't hate 621, or even 561…but I don't even feel the hatred. It's just like a fact in my head. "I hate Kaiser", that's it. Nothing more. No feeling to go with that thought. And…and I don't care that I don't feel that way…I know I should, but I don't."

"Do you hate God?"

"…no. I can't hate him. Or what he does. I don't feel or think anything about him. It's just like…well, I think he manifests himself in different ways and right now…he's an absence."

"Possibly. But I think there is a little piece of God in all of us."

"That _doesn't_ make me feel much better." Nick growled. He was angry, now towering over Page. "Get OUT." He snarled, spitting. "NOW."

"Calm down."

"_**I said GO!**_" Nick screeched, trying to punch Page, who stepped to the side. "Go AWAY, go AWAY!" He shouted over and over again, trying to keep punching Page. Suddenly Page leapt up and grabbed the side of his head, forcing Nick to make eye contact.

He was lost in those eyes. Page became light and went right into Nick's body, taking over.

"Nick, I can feel you in here. Calm down."

_NO! I WON'T, I WON'T, I WON'T! _

"I know you miss her. But she is with God now."

_THEN I WANT GOD TO GIVE HER BACK!_

"You can have her back if you win against Kaiser."

_THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT SHE DIED AND IT'S MY FAULT!  
_

"You blame yourself?"

_OF COURSE I DO, OF…of…of course I do…if I hadn't messed up and gotten caught in the secret base, if I hadn't fought with Rupert who thought he was his brother, then I wouldn't have bent sent into the future and…and Lilo and Nani and David and everyone else would be…would be okay now…_

"It-was-not-your-fault."

_Yes it WAS, Page…it…it was. If I hadn't even shown up on the island, then 628 would probably have never been found at all! Hamsterviel only needed it because he couldn't beat the combination of both me, Lilo AND Stitch! If only those two had been here, then…then…_

"He would have thought of something else, and Lilo and Stitch and all of her _ohana_ would still have been in danger. You know how Hamsterviel acted. He would think of something."

_But…but I still think it was my fault…if I had just controlled my temper, if I had-_

"NICK! You're **not** perfect! And you don't have to be! God doesn't want that from you! He doesn't want a perfect toy soldier, He wants PEOPLE…and people are flawed. But they can't just cure flaws on their own, they need help a lot of the time, do you understand?"

……_I…think so…_

"You don't have to bear the grief alone. You don't have to save Lilo on your own, or do ANYTHING on your own if you do not believe you can do it alone. You have us. Your family. Your friends. Your _ohana_. Remember?"

…

"I know this is hard. But you just have to accept that sometimes bad things happen that shouldn't. And sometimes good people die. Sometimes GREAT people die. You have a unique chance to change things. But if you continue to remain this way, you'll be dishonoring Lilo's memory! You've got to pull yourself together…God wants you to forgive yourself."

_…you…think so?_

"HE'S already forgiven you. Now He wants you to do the same."

…_so…I'm not alone? And I shouldn't keep blaming myself? _

"Of course not. If people kept blaming and mourning and never did anything, then our world would be going to Hell in a handbasket. If you don't work to change the bad things in this world, or if you don't work to be the best person you can be, then you're just wasting your time. Now are you going to keep wasting time?"

…_n…n-n…no. No, I…I won't! I WON'T! Lilo's gone…I accept that. She shouldn't have died, and a lot of it is my fault, but if I keep grieving and blaming I won't be able to save her or the future, and I'll be dishonoring everything I loved about her…everything WE loved about her. She wouldn't want me to act like this._

"Right! Now are you ready? I'm going to leave your body. Will you call up the others and tell them you've calmed down?"

"Yes." Nick said in his own voice. And Page left his body, shimmering back out and onto the ground. He smiled up at Nick and took Nick's hand, gently pressing it. "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." He said. "Now come on. Let's go call the others up and tell them to come over. I think they have some things to say to you, and I'm sure you have a lot to say to them."

Well, they DID all come over. Apologies were made, accompanied by hugs and some good crying sessions, and it seemed that Nick had made a recovery. He was back to his innocent, generally happy and friendly self once again. Now they could move forward.

In the end it took almost two days of hanging around the house, half the time worrying, frightened, if Kaiser or one of the Generals would show up…but Jumba and Rupert came up with a plan, one that had taken them all night. Nick had been sleeping in Lilo's room (no more nightmares or sleepless nights) with Stitch and Page when the two mad scientists had shouted, waking everybody up.

"EURKEA! I'VE GOT IT!"

"HOT-DIGGITY!"

Both of them burst down the doors and woke Nick, Stitch and Page up. Stitch mumbled. Page grumbled. Nick blinked and said "I'm up, I'm up".

"We've got it!" Rupert shouted. "We are having it at last!" Jumba agreed. "A plan to take experiment 628 down once and for all!"

It took a few seconds for this to register with them, but once it did, they ran out of bed and woke everyone up. Soon everyone was in the kitchen, sipping tea, coffee and, in Nick, Page and Rupert's case, hot chocolate. Stitch was guzzling coffee by the pot.

Jumba sipped from his cup and then pulled something out from the lab coat he was wearing…it was a piece of blueprint paper. He put it down on the kitchen table.

"We analyzed the castle of Kaiser AND the detention center." Jumba told them. "We reasoned that detention center is easy to get into from only one way…ABOVE. Is impossible to get in without identification for no one on island is capable of flight, am right? Am right?"

Keoni nodded. "Yeah…nobody's got the technology except for Kaiser's troops…and only 561 and 627 could have entered through the top." "Well now Kaiser can." Nick said sadly.

"And so can WE! Is easy to develop jet boots, just like ones you used occasionally, Nick." Jumba said proudly.

Nick nodded. "Okay, so we can send our forces up to the top of the detention center and they'll drop in. They can free the people inside."

"And cause mass chaos! They will lock the detention center from within. And they will have THIS!" Jumba pulled out something from his pocket that looked like a small, metal ball with beeping lights wrapped around it on a strip of blue metal. "Electro-magnetic-pulse detonator! Jumba has outdone himself! Capable of creating magnetic pulse that will take out fifteen city blocks, and the pulse will then leave behind a field disabling all electronic devices within 5 miles of detonator, unless devices are equipped with nulling capacitors! We will give our troops capacitors, but, heh-heh…"

"But unless Kaiser's got a backup alien genius…" Rupert continued. "Then he can't fit HIS equipment with the capacitors. Meaning our troops will be safe inside the detention center…which is really a distraction. While Kaiser's racking his brains, trying to figure out how to get inside and kill us, we'll send another group to attack the castle from the BACK, using another detonator to disable all the security devices that would keep our men from going in. They'll attack the castle and Kaiser will have to divide his troops…and THAT'S where Bonnie and Clyde come in!"

Bonnie and Clyde blinked.

"Huh?" Bonnie said.

"Whuh?" Clyde said.

Rupert smiled. "You'll use your spaceship and fly us right to the castle's secret hanger in the cliffsides! From there we'll make our way inside the castle. We'll then split into two teams. Victoria, Bonnie, Clyde and Jumba will sweep through the castle's east side, and the rest of us will take the west side."

Nick held up his middle, pointer and ring fingers and turned them to make an "E". "East side!" He said. He turned them so that they all faced up. "West side!"

"Don't you dare-"

He turned them down so they made an "M". "McDonalds!" He sniggered.

"Nick, now is NOT the time to be making…pfft…hee-hee…okay, okay, you got us. Now, are we all clear on the plan?"

"What's IN the west and east side?" Nick asked. Jumba grinned. "On east side of castle, power sources for all of Kaiser's operations are being kept, heh-heh. We simply go right right in, and, how you say…bring house down."

"Ah." Pleakley said simply.

Rupert nodded. "And according to my buddy, the west side of the castle not only houses the rooms of 621 and 561, but it also has a room where all sorts of stolen contraband are kept…"

"Including Time Boards?" Victoria asked. Rupert nodded. "Yep! Including Time Boards! So, is it a plan?"

"Of COURSE it's a plan! Is fantastic plan!" Jumba bragged. "Nothing can go wrong!"

"That's what the crew of the Marie Celeste said." Keoni muttered.

Nick kicked him in the shin. "OW! OW-OW-OW!" "Don't be an a-hole!" Nick said. Keoni grumbled.

"Well, it's a good plan. A very good plan." Victoria admitted. "I'm still worried, what if…well, what if our troops all die? What if EVERYONE-"

"As long as Nick, as long as ONE of us can get to the Time Board, then it doesn't matter." Stitch said stonily. Nick gave him a terrible glare. "What?!?" He asked, irritated.

"Don't talk like that!" Nick said angrily. "Don't talk like that at all! You have to care about people's lives, no matter how insignificant they may seem!"

"Nick, the needs of the many outweigh the-"

"Don't give me that junk." Nick cut him off. "Lemme tell you something…the needs of the many do outweigh the needs of the few or the one…unless that one happens to be the most important and needed person in the fricking Universe."

"That only happened once." Page said, but he understood what Nick was getting at all the same. "I see your point. We have to make sacrifices…but…but we shouldn't be cold about it."

"EXACTLY." Nick told them. "I know that a lot of our friends are going to…well, you know…that doesn't mean I have to act like a jerk about it."

"Nick, I was just-"

"Save it." Nick said, raising a hand. "I'm _still_ angry with you. You haven't learned anything from what you did, have you?"

Stitch scratched the back of his neck. "Nick, I've been through a lot…"

"So have I!"

"You haven't been suffering for ten fking years!" Stitch screamed.

"You gave up." Nick said softly. "You gave up that you'd ever see me again, didn't you?"

Stitch blinked and stuttered. "Whu-what? I-I never, I…"

But he couldn't deny it. He HAD given up.

"I thought so. You lost hope, Stitch. You lost hope, pure and simple. I'm not going to...not anymore! I'm keeping the faith. We can **do** this."

He held out his hand. "Now are you gonna sit there and wallow in self pity like I did, are you gonna sulk and simmer for another ten years…or are you gonna act like the hero you always were? The one that made Lilo proud to call you _ohana_?"

Stitch blinked. Then he thrust his hand out and put it on top of Nick's. "I'm in!" He said. "Ditto! Everything will be alright!" Rupert said, putting his hand on top of Stitch's. "Don't forget me!" Pleakley said. "And me!" Jumba added. "And us!" Keoni and Victoria said. "Me and Clyde are in for the ride, too!" Bonnie said. "I'll stay by you." Page said, bowing his head a little. "And I'm with my boojibu!" Angel said proudly.

They all put their hands together. Nick grinned.

"Well then, what are we standing around for? All for one!"

"And one for all!" Rupert finished.

"Let's go, team!" Nick yelled, and every pressed down and then raised their hands in the "and…break!" gesture.

(Begin dramatic, adventurous montage music!)

Jumba and Rupert went to work in Jumba's lab, building jet boots. Jumba dropped a sensitive item and it fell to the floor…but then Rupert dove and grabbed it. He lifted it up and Jumba nodded in thanks, going back to work. Rupert nodded right back and hopped onto a nearby table, putting on a protective mask to shield his face as he welded necessary pieces together for the jet boot engines.

Keoni and Victoria drilled the resistance troops on what was to be done, having blown up the plans onto a big screen that they were now showing in the underground silo. The troops all listened carefully and took note of what had to be done. Keoni tossed a glance to Victoria, who returned it. It was a glance that said they were worried. Not about the success of the mission…but about each other.

Meanwhile, Pleakley and Angel were doing physical training. They were drilling the troops on the various tactics that were to be used in combat against Kaiser's troops, how to fire the latest weaponry Jumba had developed, and most importantly, how to work the nulling capacitor.

Page was leading various rebel members in prayer. He gently held his Bible to his chest and closed his eyes. "Dear Lord, let us pray…"

Stitch, meanwhile, was with Nick in his room. Nick was sitting on the bed, writing something up on a notepad after an intense training session with Angel and Pleakley. Stitch looked over his shoulder.

"What? Names?"

"Yeah. What should we call 561 and 621? And for that matter, 627 and 628?"

"What makes you think they'll let themselves be called anything, ESPECIALLY 627 and 628?"

"We're gonna fix everything. I'll go back in time. With Lilo and your help, we'll make them good, and then all of the experiments will be a part of one big happy _ohana_."

"…Nick, what if-"

"Don't say it. Don't say anything."

"Why not?"

"Sometimes all you have to live on is faith. And if you take that away…"

"…I see. Um…Nick?"

Nick looked up. "Yeah?"

"About earlier, the whole, uh…geez, this is hard to say…"

Nick finished his friend's thought. "You're sorry about the "execution", right?"

Stitch nodded. "Yeah, I…I'm really sorry. I acted just as bad as any clone, and I enjoyed it when I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Nick. Really sorry."

Nick looked at Stitch for a few moments. He wasn't sure what to say. "I accept your apology"? Or "Who do you think you're fooling, you don't mean that"? Or maybe…

Nahhh. Nick decided to do the only thing that came to mind…he hugged Stitch. Stitch let out an "oof" from his nostrils as Nick squeezed, and then growled in a friendly, happy fashion.

"Thanks, Stitch."

"_Mahalo_."

Soon, both of them were chatting up a storm about the "good old days", laughing and smiling. It was as if ten years hadn't passed at all, as if nothing had happened, it was just an ordinary day. Nick knew in some part of his mind that the moment he left the room things would become dire and dangerous again…

But did he care? No way. He'd take this moment.

**ABOUT AN HOUR LATER…**

Page stuck his head into the room. "All of our troops are set. We move out tomorrow, at 4:00 precisely. Nick, can you wake up that early?"

Nick gave Page a look that said "Uh, YEAH". Page nodded. "Okay then. It's getting dark, so you should get some dinner with us. We've got piiiiiizzaaaaaa!"

Stitch and Nick immediately sprung up and ran, knocking Page over. He sat back up and dusted himself off, smiling. It was good to see Nick and Stitch back to normal, or at least as normal as they got.

But he was still worried. He walked away, heading for the familiar hallway exit that they had used so much, then climbing up a ladder to the observatory. He then closed the hatch and looked up at the sky through the observatory's holes in the ceiling.

Page got down on his knees and clasped his hands together.

"Almighty Father, who art in Heaven, hear my prayers, I beg of you." He said softly. "So much has happened…so many innocents have perished. My family…my friends…so many of them have been taken at the worst of times."

He knelt down so low his head touched the ground. "I have been true to your teachings for years, my Lord. Please, please get my _ohana_ through these trials…please let the horrible wrongs be set right by Nick and the others. And forgive me for my sins and for the sins of my _ohana_…and forgive the sins of the Generals…they know not what they do."

He covered his face and sobbed. "And-and…and please, forgive me for the terrible things I have wished upon Kaiser…for-for what he did t-to my beloved Father Joe."

He wailed. "Please God! Forgive me, forgive me…forgive me…please, give me a sign…some way I can know you hear me…PLEASE…"

The hatch opened. Nick stuck his head up.

**BGM: Glasgow Love Theme**

"Page? Are…are you okay?" He asked softly, gently.

Page wiped his eyes. "I…I am _not_ okay. I've been keeping a secret from all of you. The truth is that I've been…been so very lonely for so very long. Our cousins were put to death. Father Joe was crucified. Victoria's parents, Keoni's family, and Myrtle and her friends and THEIR parents suffered the same fate."

He looked into Nick's eyes, sadness overwhelming him. "All the good times, all of the happy moments we had with you…they all seemed so far away, and…it seemed we'd never know them ever again."

Nick climbed up into the observatory and sat down next to Page. He looked up at the starry sky.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Nick asked. Page blinked, and nodded. "Yes, it is."

Nick smiled. "That's a moral right there." He said. "Those stars in the sky."

Page looked at Nick, seeing something he hadn't really seen before. Nick looked back to Page and asked "Page…what hurt the most? What happened to you that made you the saddest you've ever felt?"

Page seemed hesitant to answer…but then he did.

"Father Joe told me that everyone can be saved, and that all deserve a second chance. His lessons on the Bible sparked something in me that made me the happiest I'd ever been. And then Crystallene came to help out at our Church, and…I was…"

He sniffled. "I've…I'd always been alone for so long, Nick. Nobody ever sat with me or talked with me in Jumba's lab or at lunch because I was a failure in Jumba's eyes and because…because I was religious. I spent so much time all alone in my room in those days, with only God and his word to keep me company, and-and then when I met Father Joe and Crystallene…"

"You really belonged."

"And now they're both gone." Page said quietly. "I know I helped you out before, but I feel like a hypocrite, because I…I wish I was dead…it hurts so much inside…"

Nick didn't even think about what he was going to say. He just said it. "Stitch told me that you once talked him out of suicide. You can't give up now. As cliché as it sounds…" Nick took Page's shoulders and made the little fluffball look right into his hazel eyes. "The preacher's gotta practice what he preaches."

"But…how do I know what to do?" Page asked. "All my life I turned to God. Now it seems like he's not…not here. Like…like he truly IS absent. What do I do?"

"…well…" Nick thought out loud. "C.S Lewis said to never put all your trust in one person…so how about putting it in the hands of _many_ people? Good-hearted people who are your family?"

Page blinked, then broke into a smile and hugged Nick. "I'm glad that…that you're back, Nick. I wish you a wonderful, filling life."

Nick hugged him back. "Hey, it's no biggie." He insisted. "Now come on. The pizza's getting cold and I managed to save you a few slices."

Nick wrapped his arm around Page's shoulder and led his friend back to the hatch. They climbed down, first Page, then Nick, who stopped for a moment to look up at the sky.

"Hey…thanks." He said, saluting with his pointer and middle finger at the stars before climbing down, back to the base, where family, friends…and pizza…were waiting.

The stars twinkled in the sky. In fact, the way they did so, it was almost like a Morse code message that seemed to say "Thank YOU" right back. But that couldn't be possible…

Could it?


	57. Sunday Morning

**CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE**

SUNDAY MORNING

It was Saturday. Tomorrow it would be time.

Time to launch the assault against Kaiser. The final, last attack.

Or it WOULD be, as soon as Jumba and Rupert finished with their "scientific stuff" as Nick described it. He had no idea what they were doing. Not merely because it went over his head in its complexity, but because…they were playing disco music as they wrote down complex numbers and algorisms and fiddled with mechanical devices.

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm at point 9c, less time to talk!" Rupert belted out.

Nick blinked. "What the-?"

Jumba sang out. "More than a photon! You are…more than a photon to meeee!"

"Uh…what's going on?"

Rupert suddenly jumped up on the table he'd been working on and proceeded to do some classic disco dancing as he sang.

"Turn, baby turn! Disc has intertiaaa!"

"…um, what are you doing?" Nick asked.

"Saturday Night Physics!" Rupert said, grinning.

**SFX: Two drum beats and a rim-shot**

Jumba blinked. "What was THAT?"

"Oh, a sting." Nick said casually. "How's it going? Are all of the electro-magnetic things built?"

"Yes, yes, they are completed and are all attach-ed to weaponry, but now Rupert and I are creating the final piece we need to ensure our troop's long term survivings…or as long as we can give them."

"Whuzzat?"

Jumba held up what looked like a coaster, a very thick coaster. "Shield generators. Will last two hours and be able to block plasma shots…unfortunately, won't be able to keep physical beings from entering field…"

"Meaning someone could go up and just hit us if we wore one of those?"

"Basically…but at least is blocking energy firings." Jumba defended in a lame voice.

"Yeah, well I'm just glad I don't need one. How close are you to finishing it?" Nick asked.

Jumba looked at the work he had on the table, which was an obvious mess. "We will be finished in about…oh…" He checked his watch and raised an eyebrow. "…3 hours. Now go, go! We are having much work to do, heh-heh."

Nick walked out of the room and yawned. It was 8:50, and he was super tired. So he walked out the door, leaving Jumba and Rupert alone. Jumba laughed evilly. "Man, cannot _remembering_ when we had this much fun!"

"Yeah, this takes me back. Remember that day you came into E.G.O's dining hall all upset about Mari-Mac?"

Jumba frowned. "Do not remind me. I remember…oh…am remembering well…"

MANY YEARS AGO, IN E.G.O'S GRAND DINING HALL…

Rupert was was plucking the strings on his fiddle while Jacques messed around with a guitar. "I don't know, Rupert, I have never done THIS before…"

"Come on, just let the music flow through you."

"Well…okay…"

"Come on, let's go find Jumba." Just as Rupert stood up on the bench he was on, the doors to the grand dining hall were broken down, and a very distraught Jumba Jookiba stood there, eyes wide.

"What's wrong, Jumba?" Rupert asked.

"Yeah, you look like that stinky Galactic Alliance found a body in your fridge!" Jacques added.

**BGM: Mari-Mac, by Great Blue Sea**

"Do…do you know Mari-Mac Heidelberg?" He asked.

Rupert nodded, and began to fiddle. "Everyone knows that witch!" He said. Jacques began to play along, getting the feel of the music.

_There's a mean little lass and her name is Mari Mac,  
Make no mistake, she's NOT a girl you wanna track  
Lot of other fellas try to get her off their back  
But I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early!_

Jumba grabbed his hair and shouted:

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me and Mari's mother's making me marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!_

Jacques, Rupert and the people in the dining hall gasped. Jacques nodded. "You know, I feel your pain…

_That Mari and her mother are an awful lot together,  
In fact you hardly see the one without the other!  
And people often wonder if it's Mari or her mother  
Or both of them together that are courting!_

Jumba grabbed Jacques and shook him hard. "Don't you GET it?!?

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me and Mari's mother's making me marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!_

"Put me down, put me down, put me down, put me dowwwnnn!"

The current Grand Master of E.G.O spoke up. "I remember once when I was dating…heh. I tried to calm that girl down a bit…"

_Well up among the heather in the hills of Benifee,  
Well I had that bonnie lass sitting on me knee…  
Then Mari done kicked me right above me knee,  
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee!_

Jumba shook him next. "You don't understand!"

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me and Mari's mother's making me marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!  
_

"Pumme down, pumme down, pumme down, pumme dowwwnn!"

Rahry spoke up. "Hey, I remember that! I was there too!"

_Well I said "Yo bonnie lassie, where you gonna spend the day?"  
Mari said "Among the heather in the hills of Benifee  
Where all the boys and girls are making out so free  
Up among the heather in the hills of Benifee!"  
_  
Jumba shook him even harder. "I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me and Mari's mother's making me marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!_

"Dude will you please just put-me-dowwwnnnn?!?"

Jumba dropped him and began to pace, hyperventilating as he spoke.

_The wedding's on Wednesday, everything's arranged  
Soon her name will be changed to mine unless her mind be changed!  
And making the arrangements, I'm feeling so deranged….  
This marriage is an awful undertaking!  
_

Some people entered the dining hall. They saw the chaos that was going on. "What's wrong?" They asked. Jumba threw his hands into the air, shouting.

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac marry me and Mari's mother's making me marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!  
_

"Oh man, that'll really bring you down!"

Rupert kept fiddling, but now he sang out. "I'll come, if only for the food!"

_It's sure to be a grand, maybe grander than a fair!  
Going to be a fork and plate for every man that's there,  
And I'll be a bugger if I don't get my share  
If I don't, I'll be very much mistaken!  
_  
Jumba tugged on his hair, screaming.

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac **marry** me!!_

Other people in the room sang out the next part. "His mother's making him marry Mari Mac!"

And EVERYONE sang the next part.

_Well when you're going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of you  
You won't be feeling merry when you marry Mari Mac!_

Jacques spoke. "There's a nasty little lass and her name is Mari Mac…"

Then Rahry. "Make no mistake, she's not a girl you wanna track!"

The Grand Master. "Lot of other fellas try to get her off their back…"

Rupert last. "I'm thinking that they'll have to get up early!"

And finally Jumba, spreading his arms to the sky as everyone danced around.

_Mari Mac's mother's making Mari Mac **marry** me and Mari's mother's making **me** marry Mari Mac! Well I'm going to marry Mari and when Mari's taking care of me  
I won't be feeling merry when I marry Mari Mac!_

(Music ends.)

Jumba fell to his knees and covered his face, groaning horribly. "I…I do not love her! What am I going to do?"

Everyone blinked, shrugged or didn't say anything. Finally Rahry suggested something.

"…I could kill her?"

PRESENT DAY…

"Maybe should have taken him up on deal…"

"Trust me, if you had done that, you would have sold your soul to the devil. Besides, the wedding was really nice and the cake was GREAT!"

Jumba "hmmphed" and went back to work. Meanwhile, Nick had heard everything, he'd lingered outside the door long enough to hear it all. He smiled and headed for the training room, where Stitch was waiting for him along with Angel.

"Now then, yesterday you said you'd gotten on the track to discovering something important What was it?." Stitch wanted to know. Angel nodded. "Yeah! What, did you discover a new move?"

"Well, I showed you Heartwing's gift to me, right?"

"Yes."

"Well take a look!"

Nick held out his hands and cupped them as if trying to catch a delicate snowflake or a feather in his turned-up palms. He closed his eyes.

_All right…think…earth, wind, fire, water, ice, lightning, poison, metal, light…imagine them all coming together just like you did before, Nick, you can-_

"HOLY HELL!" Angel screamed. Nick opened his eyes. There in front of him was a swirling, shifting orb of many colors, an orb of elemental energy that spun around and around in his hand, looking like a rainbow beach ball someone was spinning around on their finger. It was sending off little sparks of light as well and looked very, VERY pretty but…

It was tilting to the side a little…a bit too much…

"AAA!" Nick shouted as it fell down towards the ground. He quickly reached down and grabbed it before it could hit the floor, and it vanished in a flash of sparks and light the moment Nick slammed his hands together on it to stop it's fall.

"Phew…if it had hit the floor, that would've hurt like **heck**!"

"I take it that…that it happened yesterday?"

"Almost burned my clothes off, AND Jumba's eyebrows."

"So it's a combination of your elemental powers?"

"Yes. I don't know how tough it is for sure, but it looks potent. However it's not complete, I have to focus hard in order to get it to work, and I don't even have the last element…the element of darkness."

"Which no doubt will come from…from 561." Stitch realized, growling in anger. Nick nodded.

"Yeah, it'll come from him. In any case, I still need to practice. It's a real pain trying to keep it in ball form, and the minute I lose concentration it feels super heavy and I can't hold it up…psychosomatic I think. I have to focus hard and BELIEVE that I can control it in order to control it, just like my other powers…"

"Well, we'll see how it all works out. Go and get some rest."

Well Nick DID go get some rest as he headed back to his room…but he had a strange dream. Very strange…

_Woaaaah…cool…_

_A flying dream! I haven't had one of these before! Then again, I already know-oh, huh? What's that below?_

_There's that guy again! The guy with the brown hair and that red and white jacket…hey, is…is that an angel with him?_

"_I'm telling you, Kevin, I don't know what we're going to do…don't get me wrong, I'm glad that someone new is coming that will set things right…and that will keep me from saying "icus" after every other dang sentence…but I'm worried. What if…what if he doesn't like me?"_

_  
"Come on, Pit. Everybody likes you!"_

_  
"Hey, you called me Pit! You finally called me Pit and not Kid Icarus!"_

"_I did, didn't I? I guess the change must be almost complete. Pretty soon all of the Fantasy Multiverse will be affected. But I have to admit something…I'm…I'm gonna really miss all of you, I…I've really…really had some good times."_

_  
"We'll miss you too, Ke-"_

_Hey, who turned out the lights? _

_What the? Where am I? What city is this? Why on Earth is the sky on fire?..._

_Oh jeez…this is bad, this is really bad…_

_Hey, where's everybody gone? Hello? Helllooooo? Anyone out there? Anyone-_

_What the-_

"WOAH!"

Nick woke up. He looked around…he was back at the rebel base, in the bed, blanket extremely ruffled. Rupert was there, looking at him from his bed.

"Oh, uh…hi Rupert. You finished with everything?"

"…yes. Nick, are you okay? You were tossing and turning in your sleep."

"Oh, I'm fine, just had a…kinda scary dream, that's all. I woke up when something tapped me on the shoulder…"

Rupert nodded. "Well, it's 1:00. Go back to bed." And with that he laid his head back down on the pillow. Nick sighed and did the same, pulling the blanket back to it's normal, comfortable position.

_Hmm…that…that "Cloak" guy…I remember, I saw him in another dream…he once was a skeleton, chasing after me, even as I ran into my bed at Mom's house…when was that, back when I was 8? I was so scared, I remember how white the bones were…_

_But what does it mean? Why do I keep seeing this "Cloak"?..._

The morning brought peace and quiet. Everyone ate their breakfast in solemn silence, knowing that the final, last part was about to play out. It was time. It was the "big one".

Nick finished quickly, as did Rupert. They turned to each other.

"Nick, if I…don't make it…I want you to know I'm…I'm really glad you're my friend…sunshine boy." Rupert said, struggling to find the words. Nick nodded and held up a fist. "I'm glad you're my friend too, you "wascally wabbit". Hey, this is a trick me and Matt do. Knock."

Rupert blinked. "Huh?"

Nick held the fist up again. "Knock."

Rupert made a fist and knocked it so that it hit Nick's. "And lock." Nick said, twisting it by 90 degrees to the right. Rupert did the same. "Knock and lock." Nick repeated. "Knock and lock." Rupert said, smiling happily.

Keoni got everyone's attention by clapping his hands. Everyone turned to face him and Victoria as they both stood up, holding hands.

"Well, it's time to move out, everyone." Keoni said.

"We're moving out. This is bite-the-bullet time, everyone!" Victoria told them.

"If we fail, then none of us will have a real future." Pleakley said, standing up.

Jumba joined him. "So we shall be working together!"

"To save the future!" Angel added.

"To fix the wrongs of the past!" Page agreed.

"For our families!" Stitch yelled.

"For our friends!" Rupert shouted.

Nick stood up, and raised a fist high into the air. "Now let's go save the world!" He hollered. Everyone cheered and raised their fists. Nick grinned. It was ON.

HALF AN HOUR LATER…

The single David clone at the detention center looked up from his book and looked around. He had THOUGHT he'd heard something, but there wasn't anything around…

Hmm.

He shrugged and went back to reading his "How-to" book.

"…until the world "mottling" is almost totally obscured…okayyyy…"

BOOMP!

He heard the noise again. He looked around. Nothing!

Hmmmmm…

Ignoring it again, he went back to reading.

Meanwhile, on the top of the detention center…

A rebel troop looked at another. "Well, here we go. Uh…you go first." "Fine. Wuss."

The other one hopped down through the huge, open hole in the detention center, joining his comrades. "It's X-Games, huaaaahhhh!" He laughed as he fell in.

The clone looked back up. Okay, he was sure he had heard something!

He walked outside of the booth, walking about twenty feet away from it, looking around. He STILL couldn't see anything. He was puzzled. Then he thought to look up.

He saw them. And there were HUNDREDS of them. His eyes went wide. He stammered for a few moments, unsure of what he should do. Then he remembered his training and he went for his communicator…

Unfortunately, Page had snuck up behind him. He suddenly shoved the clone's legs hard and the clone fell over, skinning his knees. He gasped in pain and looked up at what had pushed him…

Contact.

The David clone now had Page inside of him, controlling his every move. Page brushed some dirt off of his borrowed body. "Ouch. This leg hurts. No matter. It's all okay down here!" He called out to his friends. "I shall take care of this one!"

And so the troops jetted down into the detention center. Page said a prayer, and then, within a few minutes, the whole place was in utter chaos. After about fifteen minutes of horrible slaughter (of the Kaiser's troops, who were completely caught off guard) Page knew it was time. He turned on the clone's communicator.

"Anyone! Help! Rebel troops have snuck into the detention center through the roof! They're everywhere! Send help! Send help! PLEASE!" And with that Page shut it off. Then he grinned and tossed it to the ground, where it burst into pieces. He walked over to a tree and then knelt down near a small bush, picking something up from it…his OWN communicator. He turned it on.

"This is Pi Alpha Gamma Epsilon. Phase one is complete. Proceed to phase two."

In their rocket ship, Bonnie and Clyde responded to Page's call. "Gotcha. Startin' phase two right up!"

Bonnie turned around and smiled at her passengers. "Ready for takeoff! Everyone, hold onto your seats!" "And be sure to buckle up, 'kay?" Clyde told them. Nick nodded. Don't worry, I'm good at remembering to buckle-"

VROOM!

"UUUUPPPPPPP!!!"

The ship soared through the air. The only thing that was going through Nick's mind though, was that Pleakley was sitting a bit too close to him.

"Uh, Pleakley, could you move over?"

"No, Jumba's sitting next to me, and he's squishing me."

"Don't looking at me. Red-heads are squishing ME!"

"The only reason we're squishing you is because we don't wanna sit too close to Stitch!"

"Why not?!?" Nick asked, annoyed.

"He didn't brush his teeth this morning. Or take a shower."

That shut Nick up. Anyone who knew Stitch even the tiniest bit knew what he smelled like if he didn't bother to clean himself up at all.

The ride to the cliffsides was eerily silent. Nobody wanted to talk. And most of them knew why…all of them could die today. All of their efforts could be in vain.

But Nick was not one of those people. He was smiling. Rupert, who was sitting in his lap (yes, it was THAT cramped) looked up at him.

"Hey, how come you're smiling?"

"Because if this goes well, I'll be seeing Lilo in about an hour! And everything will be set right!"

"Well…what if it doesn't?" Pleakley asked.

"The minute you start thinking things might go wrong, then you help things go wrong." Nick said. "So don't think that way. I'm not."

"Well, you're…you're just a kid." Keoni managed to get out.

"Yeah, but "the kid" knows what he's saying." Pleakley said. "He's right…if we don't believe we can do it, we're already halfway finished. We've got to have some faith."

"Here we are!" Bonnie shouted. "Hold on! The water's choppy, we'll have to pass through this wave!"

Everyone held onto their seat as the rocket zoomed through a wave, breaking it into watery foam as the ship flew into the secret, cliff-side hangar of the castle. It touched down and everyone hopped out.

"Let's go." Pleakley barked. And they all ran down the hangar to a flight of stairs, climbing up, up, into the castle…

Meanwhile, Page was at the beach, looking around. Charlie was supposed to meet him there. Somehow Charlie had called Page's communicator and had told him that there was something that Page just HAD to do. So now Page sat down on a nearby rock and waited.

He didn't have to wait long. Charlie suddenly appeared from behind a palm tree, with a small plastic bag in his hand. There appeared to be a sandwich in it.

Page blinked. Was that a?...

"Peanut Butter. Extra smooth." Charlie handed it to Page. "YOU can swim, right?"

Page blinked. "Well…yes, my molecular density isn't as high as Stitch's…"

"Then you'd better get in there." Charlie said, nodding towards the ocean. "He's waiting for you."

Page looked puzzled. "Um…Charlie, whom do you speak of?"

"Pudge. _Duh_! Why do you think the weather's been so awful? Nobody's given him a sandwich! Lilo's…she isn't around to do it anymore, and…well, I can't hold my breath for more than a couple minutes, so…"

Page sighed. "Very well. I shall attempt to find Pudge." He ran into the water and jumped in, swimming out and down, eyes scanning for that little orange/yellow fish. He swam for several minutes before needing to go up for air. He took another deep breath and submerged again, continuing to look for…

Suddenly the water became darker, colder…Page shivered, and stayed there, floating in the water. How would he find Page…

Oh **God**…he couldn't see the surface! Which way was up? Page began to panic. He didn't want to die…

Suddenly something whacked his face. He blinked. Some…some kind of fish…but he couldn't tell what color it was. Was it Pudge?

Why would it be? There were plenty of fish in the sea…

But…but then it whacked him again…

What if?

There wasn't any real way to tell it was Pudge. But Page opened the plastic bag and reached in, feeling for the sandwich. He took it out and held it up, hoping, praying…

Kaiser woke with a start. He'd been having a very nice dream involving personally crucifying annoying Hawaiians when something big had exploded. He jumped out his bed and went to his communicator phone.

"Generals! What the h-ll is going on here?!?"

621 answered. "There's an attack going on in the detention center…AND our castle is under attack from the back!"

"Then counter-attack, you stupid idiots! I didn't have those lasers and turrets installed for nothing! Did you think I put them up because they matched the color of the WALLS?!?"

"We can't! They've launched an electro-magnetic device! It's taken out our biggest weapons! Our security systems are fried and our troops don't know what to do!"

"Do they have spears, knives and all of THAT s--t?"

"Well…yes…"

"How many Stitch clones do we have active at the castle? And how many at the detention center?"

"Those at the detention center are…are all wiped out. We have no forces left there. But there ARE 2000 Stitch clones here at the castle…"

"Send 1000 of them to the detention center and have the rest wipe out the rebels here!"

"What of the other clones, lord Kaiser? Should…should we use our secret-"

"No. Not that. Not until I tell you otherwise."

A missile suddenly whizzed through a huge, open balcony enclosure and burst right into the room, beeping. Kaiser blinked stupidly a few times then ran out of the room just in time.

KABOOM!

A few minutes and some intense swearing out in the hall later…

"Grrr I just FIXED that chandelier! Fine…fine. The other clones are to attack the detention center with all the non-electrical weapons they can find. Bring out our secret weapon and have him lie in wait. I'm going back to bed. And this whole s--tstorm better have died down in an hour, or I'm going to kill you all! You got that?!?"

"SIR YES SIR!"

Kaiser rolled his eyes. "Why is good help so hard to find?" He asked himself. And with that, he went back into bed, this time putting ear-muffs on to help him sleep better.

It was time for the resistance members to split up. They'd all made it to the main hall, and now Stitch, Nick, Rupert and Keoni were going to separate from the others.

Jumba held out his hand to Nick, and then to Keoni. Both shook. "Good luck." He told them. He then got on one knee and hugged his son, Stitch. "Stitch, my son…be careful." Stitch hugged him back. Then Jumba looked over to Rupert. He struggled to find the words. "Rupert…I, I-" Rupert held up a paw, and smiled. "Hey…I know. I know what you're trying to say, buddy. Don't worry, everything will be alright!"

They split up. Nick and Keoni took the upstairs route to the west side while Rupert and Stitch stayed on the ground floor. The two groups wandered around, searching…searching…

Suddenly Rupert found it. A large, metallic door. "Hmm…" He thought. "Maybe this is it." Rupert said, opening it up. It was a huge flight of metallic stairs that led down, down into a huge basement of some kind. Stitch frowned slightly. Something about it was wrong…creepy…

Rupert walked down the stairs with Stitch right behind. It was quiet and stuffy…and occasionally something would "tap" inside the walls, making both shiver and, in Rupert's case, jump slightly. Finally they reached the bottom of the stairwell…

It looked like a big, metallic arena. There was an observation booth above, many feet in the air.

And there, standing in the center of it...was 621, in his usual attire.

He grinned at Stitch.

"Hello…cuz. We meet again. Now then, I imagine you're looking for the Time Board, am I right?"

Rupert gasped. Stitch growled and his extra arms sprung out. His antennae and spikes popped out as well. He nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah I'm looking for the Time Board. Where is it?!?" He snarled.

621 laughed. "Like I'M gonna tell you. We're rivals, remember? You won't get anything out of me, not even as a departing gift to H-ll." Then the green experiment picked his nose with his tongue. "You probably want to ask me something else, like…"

"Why kill Lilo? Why didn't you fight back? Didn't you know it was wrong? Tell me WHY!?!"

621 stopped picking his nose and put his hands on his hips, with another hand pointing right at Stitch. "Because I hate you. You were stupid, idiotic, and it was time someone pulled you and that little brat Nick out of your ivory towers and showed you how life _really_ works: good people die. Nice guys get cancer. Babies get run over by buses. Houses your grandpa's grandpa built get firebombed. Nick spared my life…" He sneered. "Bet you think that was a big mistake, don't you?"

Stitch's eyes narrowed to slits.

621 went on. "Well, you know what they say, cuz. "Life is short, life is s—t, and soon it'll be over"."

Stitch clenched his fist. "You…_you_…"

621 went on. "You know, when you escaped the detention center with Jumba and Angel, you left quite a bit of useful stuff behind." 621 suddenly tapped on the ground, and a small switch was set out. A table rose up from the ground, a small one…with a nasty-looking hypodermic needle on it.

"Luckily for me, I managed to score some very nice, big samples of alien DNA for my own use…" 621 told them, picking the needle up and twirling it between his fingers, as a smile danced on his face.

Rupert suddenly blinked, and he took a step back. "Stitch, we've gotta run." He whispered harshly. Stitch glanced back at the white rabbit. "Why?" He asked.

621 laughed. "He knows what's coming, don't you? You're a smart guy, aren't you? AND I can tell from his thoughts. Go ahead. Speak what's on your mind."

Rupert's breathing was heavy. "That…that experiment…from-from what Jumba's told me about it…all of the experiments on the 600 series can become…become extremely volatile and unstable when further alien DNA is introduced to their bloodstream…they can become mutated…"

Stitch blinked. "Um, what's your point?"

"He introduces that DNA to his bloodstream, he's…he's going to look like something from a horror movie!" Rupert shouted hysterically. "We hafta get outta here, FAST!"

He ran for the stairs, but the moment he stepped on the first step the whole thing became a slide, and he slipped onto his back. He groaned and looked over at 621, as did Stitch. 621 cackled and shoved the needle into his arm, pumping the swirling, black mixture of alien DNA into his blood.

"Wanna know what you can call me NOW!?!" He asked, his voice suddenly changing to a frightening, sick growl.

Stitch watched in horror as 621 began to grow larger and larger…his hands became huge, fingers turning into huge claws, legs becoming like tree trunks. His face expanded forward, eyes bugging out, fangs poking out not only from the bottom of his mouth but from the top, spikes becoming sharper and sharper, the Mohawk melting away…

"CHOPSUEY." 621 growled, stretching all four of his muscular arms, flexing his claw/toes and claws. "It means "Mixed pieces", ha-ha-ha!" He hunched over and looked down with cruel intent on Stitch and Rupert, the latter wanting very much to be in bed at that moment.

"Aw, f--k me." Stitch groaned before Chopsuey sideswiped him, sending him flying into the wall.

MEANWHILE, UPSTAIRS…

Nick looked around the hall. "Hmm…where could the storage room be?" He thought out loud. Keoni shrugged. "It's gotta be one of these doors." He said, going for the nearest one. He opened it up and gasped.

"It's YOU!" He said, his face becoming a snarl as he went for his gun. Nick looked around Keoni. "What? Who?"

There was 561, calmly sitting in a chair. He raised a hand. "Don't bother." He told Keoni. "Your little weapon can't harm me."

Keoni ignored him. He fired off a round, and it sailed through the air…but 561 simply batted it aside, and it struck the wall, making a huge piece explode into little bitty pieces. 561 rolled his eyes. "Are you quite finished, or must you waste _more_ ammunition on me, fiery warrior?"

Keoni's eyes narrowed…but he put the gun down. 561 nodded and motioned for them both to come in. Nick did first, then Keoni.

"Close the door." 561 told Nick. Nick did so.

"Now then, you want to know why I am not leaping at you to remove your head from your shoulders and sup upon your remains, am I right?"

Nick blinked. "Um…I guess…"

"Good. It's simple. I have a request. You both wish to know where the Time Board is, and, no doubt, how your friends are doing…and you, Child of Balance, probably wish to know where the Generals are."

Nick blinked. "Well, that would be nice."

561 smiled. And surprisingly, it wasn't a nasty or cruel smile. It was just a regular smile. Keoni found it unsettling, and he shivered. But 561 ignored him and continued. "The Time Board is in 621's room. Unfortunately, Kaiser is also in there. His own room was struck by a cruise missile. If you see Jumba, tell him he did a very nice job on the structural integrity, and Rupert did quite well on the guidance system…and the paint job. The smiley face was a nice little touch."

Nick couldn't help himself. He smiled. "Yeah, that's our mad scientists. Anyway, what about our friends? What's going on with them?"

"Stitch and Rupert are downstairs in the basement arena…facing a deadly foe with a very familiar face. Jumba, Victoria, Bonnie and Clyde are outside, and will soon be joined by Rueben…he's up to something very…interesting."

"Like WHAT?" Keoni demanded to know. 561 spread his arms, shrugging. "I know not what is in his heart. In any case, as for the General's whereabouts, I have only to tell you where 621 is…and he's downstairs in the basement with my dear cousin Stitch and your former amnesiac, Rupert. Are you satisfied with this knowledge?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah…but I get the feeling you want something."

561 nodded. "Yes…I…I am an old, old being. I am…tired. And my eyes have seen the light. I was foolish to think that darkness could ever truly win over light. Though the same can be said for light as well. I have seen the truth. I saw it…when I saw HIM."

"Who?"

"The Innocence."

"…who?" Keoni wanted to know.

"You know him. He's the little blond-haired boy."

"Charlie." Nick said, perking up. "Wait, you talked to him?"

"He knows more than you could possibly know. He told me of what I now know to be truth…the truth that has set me free. I am serene…content…because I know my purpose. Help me serve it…and I will be finally happy."

"What's the purpose?" Nick wanted to know. 561 looked at him. "You know what it is, deep within your heart."

Nick did know. "I need to copy your power. I have Heartwing's. But I need yours. I have the power of light…now I need the power of darkness."

561 clapped his hands. "Yes, yes, clever boy! But first…show me…show me the light."

Nick nodded. He held out his right hand and turned the palm up, cupping his fingers slightly. He closed his eyes. He felt a small voice inside him…Heartwing's voice, call out to him, telling him what he had to say.

"Ray of Light." Nick said softly.

A beautiful, shining beam of light slowly rose into the air, hitting the ceiling. It sparkled and twirled around and around, humming slightly. Keoni's eyes widened. "Wowww…" He said. 561 smiled, and a golden tear fell from his eyes. "It…it's beautiful…" He bowed his head, hopping off of the chair. He got down on his knees.

"Take my power." He told Nick, looking up into Nick's eyes as the light faded. "And then…take my life."

Outside, Jumba fired off a round from the plasma rifle that was slung around his shoulder as Victoria covered him. Slowly but surely they were being forced towards a huge rock, where they would be trapped. Try as they could, the rebel forces couldn't pick off the Stitch clones fast enough.

Pleakley wasn't giving up yet though. He withdrew his sword from a David clone's head and whipped it across a charging Stitch clone, striking his eyes. The clone went down, shrieking. Pleakley, in one swift move, sheathed his sword while pulling a gun with his other hand, firing. The Stitch clone was melted in an instant.

"We've got to keep fighting!" Pleakley shouted. "We've got the future to think of!"

Bonnie and Clyde looked at each other as the Stitch clones swarmed towards them. Their weapons were broken and useless, and worst of all, they had no power.

Bonnie looked down at the ground "Clyde, I…" Clyde gently held her head up so that she looked into his eyes. "Bonnie, I know. I…I kinda always knew."

Bonnie nodded and hugged him, crying.

The clones came closer. Clyde pressed a few buttons on his mechanical arm.

"Hold on tight." He told Bonnie. And then he pressed a button. His arm began to beep. He hugged her tightly, drops falling gently on the top of her head.

"We always wanted ta go out with a bang, right Clyde?" Bonnie asked him, not opening her eyes. Clyde sniffled. "Yah, yah. I'm…glad I've been yer partner…partner."

Bonnie squeezed tighter. The arm beeped faster and faster. The clones were within a few inches of them. One reached out to rend Bonnie's face to shreds…

Bonnie, Clyde, and the group of clones around them were vaporized as the mechanical arm self-destructed. Victoria screamed as they vanished in a flash of red flame and blue light. Jumba gasped, and fought back tears. Pleakley stared in horror as dust floated to the ground…

They were gone.

Pleakley couldn't stop a tear coming to his eyes. He wiped it away, body racked with shivers. Then he heard a voice.

"Well…at least they went out together, huh?"

Pleakley, Jumba and Victoria turned around, all with fury in their eyes. They knew who it was.

"_Rueben_."

Down in the basement, our blue hero Stitch managed to pull himself out of the wall, only to be grabbed and thrown onto the ground. Stitch screamed in pain as Chopsuey began to stomp on him over and over and over. Rupert watched, unsure of what to do. Finally he ran forward, bellowing a war cry of "Kaplaaaa!" and trying to shove Chopsuey's giant frame over…

Chopsuey rolled his eyes and kicked the little bunny away. He was sent flying through the air and he landed on the ground with a CRACK. He groaned horribly and passed out.

The same could not be same for Stitch. He finally managed to grab Chopsuey's foot as it stomped down and he SHOVED, sending Chopsuey flying back, falling to the ground. Stitch jumped up and then dug his claws into the metallic floor, wrenching up a huge piece and rushing at Chopsuey, bashing the giant over and over on his chest.

"Take this and this and this!" He screamed out in his mind. "You stupid green sack of-!"

But Chopsuey soon jumped up, slamming a fist down at Stitch, who barely managed to jump out of the way. He then jumped onto the wall and scurried about, as Chopsuey tried to turn Stitch into blue…well…chopsuey!

"Stand still, you little squirt!"

Stitch stuck his tongue out at Chopsuey. "Meegah nala qwista!" He spat. Chopsuey's eyes widened. He growled and shoved all four hands into the wall…

Big mistake. Stitch jumped off the wall and landed on Chopsuey's snout. He then proceeded to DIG, giving Chopsuey a new nostril. Chopsuey screamed in pain and staggered back as Stitch ripped and ripped and ripped.

Blood was EVERYWHERE, I mean really, it was like something from "Kill Bill" or maybe "Dawn of the Dead", most disgusting thing I ever-oh, sorry. Anyway…

Finally Chopsuey fought through the pain and smacked Stitch off of his snout. Stitch hit the floor with a KABOOM and he moaned. He had barely staggered up when Chopsuey kicked him across the room. He hit the wall and fell to the floor. He staggered up…

Chopsuey ran over and picked him up, tossing him across the room AGAIN. Once more Stitch hit the wall, this time barely able to get up.

Chopsuey ran back over and threw him into the wall once more, even harder. Stitch hit the metallic wall with a loud, reverberating BANG that made the whole room shake, booth above Stitch's head included. Stitch barely raised his head in time to see Chopsuey walking slowly towards him, claws itching to tear.

"You…you…you traitor…" Stitch gasped. Rupert opened his eyes and saw Chopsuey coming towards Stitch. He slowly got up, but couldn't move very fast, barely able to drag his feet towards his friend.

"Oh really? How am I a traitor?" Chopsuey asked, picking Stitch up and squeezing him.

"YOU PROMISED LILO!" He screamed. "YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT ME! YOU _PROMISED_!"

Chopsuey stopped squeezing and looked intently at Stitch, who was crying now.

"Du-duh-doesn't that bother you at ALL? I thought, that maybe…somehow…you'd keep her promise…doesn't it bother you?"

Chopsuey blinked a few times.

Then he smirked.

"My only regret is I didn't get to break the promise sooner." He told Stitch softly, sneering. Stitch's eyes widened.

"You…you can't mean that…" He said, voice breaking. "I really thought you…I thought you were different…" "You thought wrong." Chopsuey told him in a matter-of-fact way.

He tossed Stitch into the floor and Stitch shrieked as he hit it. His back was close to breaking. But that was the least of his worries. Chopsuey had let go for one reason…to bring all of his hands down on Stitch…to squish him.

"Goodbye…cuz." Chopsuey told him cheerfully, bringing his clawed hands down.

"**_NOOOOO!_**"


	58. Aloha Means Goodbye and Hello

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX**

ALOHA MEANS GOODBYE…AND HELLO

Nick gasped. "I…I can't kill you!" He told 561. "I'm…I'm not a murderer! I…I don't wanna kill ANYONE!"

561 nodded slowly. "I…I know you do not wish to destroy me. But believe me…you would be doing a kindness. I do not wish to live anymore."

Keoni raised an eyebrow. "This has to be a trick." He told Nick. "He just-"

"Why would he WANT to die?" Nick asked him. "What kind of trick could that be? I can tell, Keoni…he's…he's serious…aren't you?" Nick said that last bit directly to 561, as the black dragon looked up, nodding slowly.

"Yes, I…I wish to die. Please…end my life."

Nick could barely say anything. But say something he did. "But why?"

561 sighed sadly. "When I took the girl, I…I felt something…some small twinge of relief, and yet also…unbelievable sadness…because for so long I had had one purpose…to take the girl's light and make it a part of my darkness. But once I had…I…I had no purpose. And then, when she died, and Kaiser took control of the island, I realized I had little purpose here…I was just a frightening figure to scare others."

The dragon stood up and turned around, looking at the window. "Do you see that sky? It's so…dreary…sad…dead inside. That is how I have felt, and…and how 621 feels as well, deep down. And 627, he…he too had regret…regret that the feeling of companionship that we had all had before was gone, the feeling we had had when…when the girl was alive and you were still here, when life was good and simple…"

561 hung his head. "That feeling…627 yearned for it. And he sacrificed himself because of that feeling…that desire to belong. I desired a new purpose. Now I have none save to help you. And…and this new purpose, it has made me…serene, peaceful…" He turned around and Nick and Keoni gasped. He was smiling, a single tear going down his face. "It feels beautiful…and if only I had known what I had been missing ten years ago…"

He walked over to Nick and bowed. "You need my power. I need release. Take my power, Child of Balance. And then end my life."

Nick was feeling very, VERY hot, and he was shivering, the Willies striking him over and over. "I…I'll take the power you have to offer me, but…but I can't kill you, 561, I just…just can't."

561 sighed, and looked up into Nick's hazel eyes with his own golden ones. "I understand. I knew deep down you wouldn't do it. You could never execute someone, even if they think it is a kindness. How…innocent. Very well. Keoni Jameson…your heart has hardened to killing. Would…you do it?"

Keoni blinked, and bit his lip, unsure. Finally he nodded. "If…if you want me to do it…I'll do it."

561 nodded, and held out his hand. Nick took it. His own hand glowed with a black aura, and then, a few moments later, the aura vanished. 561 smiled. Keoni walked behind him and put his gun to the back of 561's head. 561 looked deep into Nick's eyes.

"Thank you." He told him. "Thank you both." Keoni nodded slowly. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the gun.

"Nick, when you return to the past…I want you to give me and the others good names."

Nick nodded. "I've…I've been thinking of some good ones." He said. 561 nodded. "Look away." He instructed Nick. "In fact, leave the room."

Nick did, but first he shook 561's hand, trying not to tear up and failing. He walked out the door and closed his eyes, plugging his ears. They muffled the sound, but he still heard the sound of Keoni firing.

THUD.

Keoni walked out, blood over his clothes. He looked…ten years older.

"…let's go." He said. "I…I don't feel like…like staying around."

"Yeah, I know what you…what you mean." Nick said, wiping his eyes.

_Goodbye, 561…_

DOWNSTAIRS, IN THE BASEMENT…

"Goodbye…cuz." Chopsuey told Stitch cheerfully, bringing his clawed hands down.

"_**NOOOOO!**_"

Suddenly the booth windows shattered, and something furry and green jumped onto Chopsuey's back. Chopsuey reared up in pain as something was forcibly injected into his back. Stitch watched as Chopsuey began to shrink, reverting to his normal form…

Then Stitch saw what was ON Chopsuey's back, and what was, in a matter of seconds, holding him tightly in place, a discarded needle next to him, empty of it's contents.

"**621**?!?" Stitch exclaimed. Rupert looked back and forth between the two experiments. "Wait…there's two? Oh…OH! So 621 must have been cloned!"

"What, wasn't it obvious this guy wasn't me?" snapped 621, looking very annoyed.

Stitch smacked his forehead after thinking for a second. "Duh! I can't believe I didn't get it! The "cuz" comment…he couldn't predict my moves at all…he didn't scratch himself once…I can't believe I didn't pick up on that stuff!"

Well don't just stand there!" 621 shouted. "Finish me! BOTH of me!"

Stitch blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Wait, what-what's going on?"

"I always keep my promises!" 621 shouted. "**Always**! I promised Lilo I wouldn't hurt you or Jumba, and I'm not going to have a stupid clone of me make anyone think I'm not an experiment of my word! And besides…"

Though it was an effort just to hold his double, 621 grinned at Stitch. "We're brothers…aren't we? We…we look out for each other when the chips are down the most…right?"

Stitch's eyes widened. "You…does this mean you-"

621 nodded, biting Chopsuey's shoulder when the clone tried to break free. "GRR! Stitch! You gotta kill us both, and NOW! I can't hold him much longer!" But Stitch's face looked strange. He was shivering, shaking, eyes wide and fearful, whimpering. He didn't know what to do…

For so long, Stitch had hoped that 621 would want to be a part of the Pelekai _ohana_. And now that he was finally being the brother that Stitch had always wanted him to be…he wanted Stitch to kill him.

"I…I can't, I…I love you." Stitch managed to get out. "You're…you're family…" 621 nodded. "Stitch, I…I know this is hard…" 621 told him, a single tear slowly going down his cheek. "But it's the only way. Please…just do this one thing for me…"

Rupert looked from Stitch to the struggling 621 and Chopsuey. He couldn't think of anything to say.

But Stitch did. "All right." He said, his voice hollow, head hung. He walked over to the struggling pair and raised a clawed hand. Chopsuey's eyes went wide. He redoubled his efforts, but 621 just-would-not-let-go. Stitch looked up, crying.

"Goodbye…brother." 621 said, smiling as that tear tricked down his cheek.

"Meega sota." Stitch said.

And with that he drove his clawed hand right through 621 and Chopsuey's chest, puncturing their hearts. Chopsuey fell to the floor with a sickening gasp, dying in a few messy moments. 621's eyes glazed over as he fell back onto his back, not even bothering to fight his oncoming death. He closed his eyes and died, smile still on his face, the faint trickle of tear still twinkling on his cheek.

The body of Chopsuey began to melt. Stitch walked over the puddle and knelt down near his brother, gently holding the body. He sobbed and buried his face in 621's chest, crying. Rupert, who had seen it all, turned away and wiped his own tears away with his arms.

"I just hope the others are doing better than we are…" Rupert said softly.

MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE ON THE BATTLEFIELD…

Rueben smiled at Jumba, Victoria and Pleakley. "Hey guys. What, aren't you happy me?"

He was wearing a large cloaked outfit similar to the one he'd worn when he had been acting as a detective, with a hat to match. You couldn't see what was beneath, or even see his feet. Rueben tipped his hat at Victoria, who gave him a stony glare.

"Glad to see you're all okay. At least, for now. Boy, things ain't looking good for all of youse guys, huh?"

Pleakley stepped forward, katana pointed right at Rueben. "You betrayed us, Rueben! We trusted you and you turned us in! And now you have the blls to act as though you're our old buddy again!?!"

Jumba gulped and touched Pleakley's shoulder. "Um, noodle man…we are in trouble…"

Pleakley looked around and saw that Jumba wasn't kidding, they were surrounded from the front side by clones, who all congregated around their "leader", Rueben, who continued to smile. "So, then, lemme ask you guys something…"

"What!?!" Pleakley snapped.

Rueben raised an eyebrow. "Tell me…what's it like? Being betrayed? Do you wish you could switch places with me? Does your soul die a little every time you see my face?"

Jumba's smaller eyes narrowed. He was picking up on Rueben's body language, and what it was telling him wasn't good. Victoria, meanwhile, answered Rueben with a spitwad in his direction. And Pleakley?

He put down the sword. "Well…yes." He said sadly.

Rueben suddenly sighed, and then broke into a sad, yet frightening smile. "Welcome to my world." He told them calmly, opening up his cloaked jacket so they, and only they, could see…

He had explosives strapped around him, from chest to private parts. All of Jumba's eyes bugged out. Victoria took in a quick, sharp breath. Pleakley gasped, hand flying to his mouth.

"Uh, you might wanna step back." He suggested.

They ran like they'd never run before. Rueben smiled and pulled the detonator out of his pocket, whipping around to face the clone army behind him, who gasped and screamed at the sight of all of those explosives.

"Elvis lives." He told them, a smile breaking on his face a second before he pushed the detonator button.

BACK AT THE CASTLE…

"Well, this could be it." Nick said. "If what 561 said was true, and I think he was being honest, the Time Board could be in here."

"So could trouble."

"Well, we know how to handle trouble."

They were outside 621's room. If you're wondering how they knew it was his, it was because it had a little sign that read "The Great 621, Psychic Extraordinaire" on it, and written underneath it was a big, red "NOT", and beneath THAT were the blue words "D--n it, E-Vile!".

They opened the door.

"Aw, f--k me." Keoni groaned. "Aw, dang." Nick exclaimed.

There, fuming and unbelievably angry-looking, was Kaiser. The remains of a communicator scattered below.

"My troops at the Detention Center somehow lost their nerve and were slaughtered…my generals are all incapacitated…and that idiot Rueben betrayed me! Everything is going down the tubes!"

"It's over, Kaiser." Nick told him. "You've lost. Period."

Kaiser laughed. "I don't lose! NEVER! If the situation is as bad as this…and it's gotten close…then things ALWAYS end in a draw!" With that last word he raised a hand and fired off a blast of electrical energy. Nick instinctively ducked, eyes closed, head over head…

Keoni didn't. He was hit in the chest and fell to the ground, dying as electricity convulsed through his body. Nick gasped in horror as Keoni's body finally stopped twitching in a few moments, lying to rest. He ran to his friend and shook him.

"Keoni! KEONI! You…no, don't…don't go…"

Kaiser spat on the ground. "D--n it! I need to work on my aim…"

Nick turned to Kaiser, eyes filled with incredible fury. "You _kung fucker chicken_! I'll fucking **kill you**!" He jumped on Kaiser and they rolled around on the floor, punching, kicking, biting…finally Nick managed to grab Kaiser's tail. Kaiser yelped in pain, and Nick took advantage of this, throwing the little black demon right out of a window. He sailed out, hitting the ground below…many, many yards below.

Kaiser groaned and staggered up, eyes blazing with hate.

"You little piece of crap! I'll kill you and strip you of your bones!" He growled as Nick jumped out of the window, falling down towards him.

"Why don't you put your dirty money where your big, fat mouth is, you big fat fucking _**Nazi**_!!!" Nick screamed in total anger, all patience and tolerance stripped away.

At that time, Page, Angel Jumba, Stitch, Pleakley, Victoria and Rupert had found each other, and they followed the sound of shattering glass to the back of the castle. They soon found Nick and Kaiser staring each other down…

The sky suddenly opened. Bright light from the sun shone down, and Kaiser flinched, hissing. "What? How?"

Page smiled and shook his body free of some extra water. "It was Sandwich day." He told Kaiser and Nick. Nick grinned cheekily at Kaiser.

"I think we know who the weather favors, don't we?" He told Kaiser. "Now, let's do this…LEROY."

The resistance gasped. Kaiser's eyes widened…and then he smiled nastily, anger seeping from his features.

"How did you figure it out, boy?"

Nick stuck his tongue out. "I just thought about it. I remembered something from back in my world, that there was going to be a sequel to the Lilo and Stitch movie made…one called Leroy and Stitch. And then when I heard that Hamsterviel had given you a name…well, I made the connection. Besides, you look like a Leroy…and it's the kind of name Hammy would have given you."

Kaiser growled. "I am not Leroy! I am Kaiser now and forever! And you shall now die!"

Kaiser raised his hands and huge chunks of earth flew up from the ground, zooming towards Nick, who took aim with both of his finger-guns.

"TOXIC BULLET, TOXIC BULLET, TOXIC BULLET, TOXIC BULLET!" He shouted as fast as he could, firing off purple shot after shot from his fingers. They struck the chunks, which exploded into tiny pieces of dirt and grass and in some cases flowers. Kaiser snarled and rushed at Nick, electricity sparkling from his fingers. Nick gasped and jumped back…

But too late! Kaiser slammed a sparking hand of electricity into Nick's stomach. Nick screamed and soared through the air, body convulsing just as badly as Keoni's had. He landed hard and staggered up, groaning, his stomach bleeding slightly from the wounds Kaiser's claws had inflicted.

"Don't tell me that's the best you have, you little fool!" Kaiser laughed. He raised two of his hands and swirling orbs of water began to form. He raised his two other hands and orbs of fire began to take shape.

Nick gasped. "Hey! You little thief! Those are Yin and Yang's powers! You're dishonoring their powers!"

"Oh shut up. I do what I want." Kaiser growled. "And it's not like Yin or Yang are going to be needing it…heh-heh…I had all of the experiments gassed once I took their powers from them. It was very fun to watch…"

Nick's eyes widened. He stood there, shocked. He turned to Stitch. "Did…did you know this?"

Stitch's eyes went to the ground.

Nick was so surprised and horrified by that revelation that he didn't dodge at all when the balls of water and fire slammed into him. He hit the ground, groaning horribly, clothes badly burnt. Kasier laughed. "Ha-ha-ha! Of course, I couldn't copy Checkers's power because he managed to get away, can you believe that? And he threw himself into a furnace that I was using to dispose of his cousins bodies! Can you believe that? What an idiot. I would have been able to control every living thing on the planet if not for his stupid stunt…"

Stitch clenched his fist tightly. Nick's body was racked with convulsions of anger.

"Oh, and that slut Crystallene screamed like a little bitch when I fked in the butt her over and over and over and over…but I liked Carmen the best." Kaiser threw back his head and laughed. "What a tight, surgary cunt she had! Almost as good as Angel! Oooh, that Angel sure loved the kinky stuff!"

Nick stood up slowly, fist clenched.

"You've hurt so many people! It's time you paid the price!" Nick howled, rushing at Kaiser, who rolled his eyes.

"I don't have to pay any price. I'm the God of this island, you idiot!" His eyes widened, and suddenly began to become swirls, a hypnotizing glare…

But Nick wasn't falling for that. He closed his eyes and concentrated, shouting out the words "ELECTRIC DASH!"

FAWOOMP! He zoomed through Kaiser, who fell to the ground, HIS body now convulsing with electricity. Nick turned around, left hand stretched out in front of him as Kaiser got up and whipped around, eyes narrowed.

"DIE!" Kaiser howled, raised his hands, a swirling vortex of energies, a mix of powers from innocent experiments he had violated, formed…

"TAKE THIS!" Nick shouted. "This was 561's gift to me! DARKNESS HAND!"

Nick's hand glowed with the color of darkest night, and suddenly a wave of dark energy shot out from his hand, just as Kaiser tossed his own energy accumulation…

The darkness shattered the vortex in an instant. Kaiser gasped. "But…but how?"

"Your powers were stolen, and you've twisted them with your evil. Mine are gifts, or earned fairly…used for good! I'm better than you, Kaiser! I always will be!"

"Nobody is better than I am!" He growled, jumping up at Nick, forming an blade of electricity from his hands. Nick stepped back quickly, but not quickly enough. He was sliced across the stomach. He let out a "YEOW!" and jumped back even more. Kaiser snickered and rushed at him again, trying to break his ribs with some harsh punches.

But Nick was ready. As he jumped back and back and back, the resistance noticed that he was…well…dancing around! In fact…

"METAL DANCE!"

SHOOM! His hands encased in metal, he thrust them out. When Kaiser tried to swing, he hit hard and shiny metal, and he howled, rubbing his fist and groaning angrily. Then Nick held something behind his back…

_AERO TRAP JUMP._

He quickly got on one knee and shoved it down towards the ground. The swirling mass of wind sank into the ground and Nick then got back up and jumped over the part. Kaiser walked towards him, murder on his mind…

FAWOOOSH! He went flying through the air, a tornado carrying him high. He flew up, up, and then fell back down, cut all over. He snarled.

"You'll pay for that, you inferior little waste of life!"

Nick raised his right hand. It glowed white. "I'm always gonna be better than you because I want to help others! I want to make sure people can be happy, and all you want is to make people suffer! Anyone who fights for a good cause will always have a stronger heart than you will, LEROY! When people fight for something and someone they truly care about, they become as strong as they need to be…"

"Caring is stupid. Family is a waste of time!"

"No it's not! It's because of family that you've lost, Leroy!"

"I AM KAISER AND I **NEVER** LOSE!" Kaiser howled, rushing towards Nick, claws fully extended, ready to tear flesh.

"This is Heartwing's gift to me! RAY OF LIGHT!" Nick shouted, and a beam of beautiful, sparkling light energy soared through the air, striking Kaiser, who screamed in utter agony. He was sent flying back and he hit a palm tree, making it crash to the ground.

Nick walked over, as did his family. They watched as Kaiser slowly stood up, groaning.

"I…I cannot lose to weak, unimportant nobodies like you…" He muttered, suddenly contorting his face into a snarl. He spat bloody spit onto the ground. "Even if you kill me, there will ALWAYS be others who will be willing to do what I've done…and MORE!"

Nick was only two feet away from Kaiser as he swayed back and forth, barely able to stand. Kaiser kept speaking.

"They know your type from a mile away! People like you are so easy to fool, easy to predict, always constantly fighting for what you call "good". HA! What's innocence? What's "good"? What's "right" at all? Only those who have the greatest amount of power can really define what all of that s--t is! People like me, princes of the universe, whom you dare to call "villains" and "bad guys"!"

Nick stopped. He looked from his friends to Kaiser. His friends couldn't think of anything to say.

Then Nick asked something. Something pretty important.

"Do you guys actually believe the crap that comes out of your mouth?"

Kaiser groaned and rubbed his head, stumbling forward, vision blurry, trying to strike Nick, but failing miserably. He fell on the ground and tried to lift himself up. "Whuh-what's that supposed to mean, you…you little brat?"

"There are some things that are just wrong, no matter who's in charge. One of them is murdering. Besides, power's supposed to be used for a good reason, not something selfish like ruling the world. Anyone who thinks they deserve to rule the world…doesn't."

Kaiser snarled. "So!?! You may win today, but what the hll makes you think you'll ever win against evil in the long run? What makes you so sure you're doing this whole thing right?!?"

"There ARE always going to be people like you." Nick admitted. "Duh. But there will also always be people like me!" He said, pointing his thumb at his chest. "And they'll say the same thing as I'm saying…you **know** when you're doing the right thing! There are some things you just **know**…and I **know** that I'm doing the right thing now."

Kaiser let out a harsh, barking laugh that was more of a gasp for air. "That's a laugh!"

"You know…" Nick spoke suddenly. "If I had met you ten years ago…before Hamsterviel had even found you…" He looked down and to the side, a sad expression on his face. "We could have been friends."

Kaiser stood stock-still. The others looked at Nick, unsure of what to say. Nick looked back to Kaiser.

"So, what are you going to do?" Nick asked the former dictator.

Kaiser stood there, staring at Nick.

Finally he growled and jumped up…but Nick was ready.

"ONE-HIT WONDER!" Nick shouted with his fist shining and emitting rays that shone with every color of the rainbow. He slammed it into Kaiser's face as the evil experiment jumped to rip Nick's head off.

Everything went white as an incredible explosion resulted, spreading out from the point of impact, spreading in a sphere shape…

Nick woke up and found himself on the ground. He picked himself up. Nick's clothes were pretty dusty, but otherwise he was pretty much unharmed. And as for Kaiser, he was on the ground, his clothes burnt away…his body slowly turning from black to red. Stitch, Victoria, Page, Jumba, Pleakley and Angel all stood around him. Angel spat on him. Stitch lifted him up and held him by the neck, growling. Rupert, meanwhile, was at Nick's side.

"That was pretty frickin' cool what you did." He told Nick in a voice filled with awe. Nick's face turned red. "Aw, shucks…it…it was nothing, I just…"

"Where's the Time Board?!?" Stitch barked at "Kaiser Leroy's" face, shaking him awake. The evil experiment blinked a few times, and then smirked.

"I tossed it into the sea after breaking it in two. And who knows how long it'll take you to build another one?" He laughed cruelly, as everyone, Nick especially, looked at each other, faces filled with mixes of horror, anger and surprise.

Nick suddenly fell to his knees, hands covering his face. "No…no, I…I can't…that can't be, you're not serious-oh Lilo…I….I failed, I… no, no! _Nooo_!"

He began to bawl horribly. Rupert tried to comfort him, but to no avail. Everyone rushed over to him, trying to cheer him up…but nothing worked.

"I…I tried so hard…" Nick said, not able to stop the waterworks. "I got so far…and in the end, it…it doesn't even matter…"

He looked up at the sky, face contorted with fury, pointing accusingly. "YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO FAIL, DIDN'T YOU! YOU SON A **BITCH**! YOU KNEW! YOU KNEW I COULDN'T DO IT!!!"

Page spoke up. "Nick, you must have…"

"Hope? Faith!?! I've lost my love…friends…family…and I can't go back…all I fought for was in vain…"

Leroy sneered, slowly getting to his feet. Suddenly he rushed at them, aiming to tear Nick and the others to shreds…

"Oh no you don't!" Rupert shouted, suddenly jumped through the air and tackling Leroy. The two of them rolled around, with Leroy snarling and tearing at Rupert's skin. But Rupert wouldn't let go…

And the two fell into the ocean.

Jumba and Nick immediately ran to the edge of the cliff and screamed out "RUPERT!!!" as the little alien rabbit and the evil experiment fell into the water. "Rupert, let go!" Nick called out. "Swim back!" "He…he cannot swim…" Jumba gasped, voice hoarse with horror. Leroy screamed in fury as he sank into the water, darkness filling his vision, unable to tread water…as Rupert continued to hang onto him, looking up at his family at the top of the cliff.

He smiled. "I'm sorry guys!" He called out, and then a wave engulfed both him and Leroy, and they vanished into the sea.

Nick couldn't cry any more. He banged his fists against the dirt, screaming in fury and anger, screaming "No-no-no!" over and over again. Jumba sobbed, his fat jiggling as his body was racked with sobs. They'd lost a true friend…

"WHY-WHY-WHY!!!" Nick howled at the sky.

And then, a few moments later, it happened.

NICK, I DON'T WANT TO SAY THIS, BUT **SHUT UP!**

Nick's eyes widened. Everyone gasped and looked around. Nick immediately looked up.

"Voicey?" He asked, voice soft, nearly broken with crying.

DON'T CALL ME…OH, NO MATTER. YES, I AM HERE. I AM NOT SOME A$$HOLEY IMPARTIAL OBSERVER…I'M HERE TO HELP. AND I KNOW YOU ARE HURTING BEYOND ANYTHING ANYONE SHOULD FEEL…SO I HAVE JOYOUS NEWS. YOU…YOU CAN RETURN HOME. YOU ALWAYS COULD.

Nick blinked. "Wait…how?"

YOUR WATCH, YOU BIG DUMMY. DIDN'T I _TELL_ YOU IT WOULD BE IMPORTANT?

Nick looked down at his watch. "Um…what am I…uh…supposed to do?"

THE CENTRAL DISPLAY CAN BE PRESSED DOWN. PRESS IT, AND YOU SHALL HAVE THE POWER TO RESET…TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF YOUR TROUBLES IF YOU SO WISH. BUT…YOU MIGHT WANT TO SAY GOODBYE.

Nick turned to his friends, a smile breaking out. "Guys, I can…"

"We know."

"Go." Jumba told him.

"Yeah…save the world." Victoria told him.

"Get the girl." Stitch added.

"And put it all back." Pleakley finished.

Nick nodded. "Okay." He looked down at his watch. He raised his hand to press down on the central display, but suddenly turned around.

"Guys, I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner, and…and I'm sorry I couldn't save Keoni or Rupert or-"

Stitch ran forward and held a claw on Nick's lips, shaking his head. Then he withdrew it and patted Nick on the heart.

"Hey…family makes mistakes too. Right?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, they…they do."

"Well…we all forgive you." Stitch said. "And besides…now you CAN save us. So go ahead. It's hero time."

Nick nodded. "I'll try to tell everyone everything I can." Nick said. "Try to uh…leave out the more embarrassing details." Jumba added, nervously twirling his foot on the ground. "And tell my past self that I'm bi." Pleakley requested. "Tell MY past self to learn how to forgive and forget." Stitch said. "Don't forget to tell me and Victoria that we grow up to marry each other. And we want a wedding on the beach!" Keoni asked Nick. "And the ring doesn't have to be expensive." Victoria said, holding Keoni's arm.

Nick nodded. "And I'll give 561, 621, 625 and 627 some names." "…makes sure 625 gets the name Rueben." Keoni asked Nick. Nick nodded. "You got it. Well…see you on the other side." He said, smiling a little.

He pressed down on the watch. "RESET." He said out loud.

KA-WOOOOOOOSH! FWOOMP!

Nick was now floating in a huge, white abyss. There were what appeared to be film reels passing by him, all around him. Nick gasped in awe at the huge amount of reels. "Woaaah. What IS this place?"

THE RESET DIMENSION. NOW YOU CAN RETURN TO WHERE YOU WERE. IF I WERE YOU, I'D DO IT RIGHT AFTER THE TIME BOARD TAKES OFF.

Nick blinked, then shook his head. "No way. I can't go back without Rupert. I'm going to go to the part when he falls into the water. I'll save him and then bring him back to the moment when we left the present…or past or whatever."

…IF YOU DO THAT, AND BRING HIM BACK TO THE TIME HE LEFT, HIS BROTHER'S PERSONA WILL RISE UP AGAIN, AND HIS TRUE SELF WITH GO INTO RECESSION. DO THIS…AND YOU WILL ONCE MORE HAVE AN ENEMY ON YOUR HANDS, ONE THAT SEEKS TO DESTROY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY...DO YOU STILL WANT-

"Yeah!" Nick immediately answered. "Enemy or not, I know who he really is, and I'm gonna tell him. I'll tell everyone."

YOU DON'T CARE IF HE DOESN'T LISTEN? OR IF HE STILL TRIES TO KILL YOU?

"Naaaaaah. Because as long as I know that he's really Rupert, and my friend…as long as I know that he's the one who called me "Sunshine Boy" and not a meddler…as long as I know it, as long as God knows it…that's good enough."

…I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT. GOOD THING I PLANNED IN ACCORDANCE.

Suddenly a very waterlogged, unconscious Rupert floated down from above, barely breathing, and…wearing a blue vest. Nick grabbed him. "Okay…now what?"

THE WAY HOME WILL REVEAL ITSELF IF YOU SAY WHAT IT IS YOU WANT.

"Okay, uh…Reset Dimension, could you, uh…you know, take me to the moment where first arrive in the future?"

A huge reel suddenly unfolded, its contents flashing past Nick…and then Nick saw it. A glowing panel. He KNEW that was the way. He waited for it to come closer and then grabbed onto it, climbing through.

Everything went white, and then…

There they were. Time Board stuck in the tree, Rupert passed out on the ground, Nick himself a little bit scruffed up. It was as if the adventure hadn't happened. But he knew it had, the memories were all there.

Then something odd happened. Rupert, the one Nick was holding onto, suddenly floated towards the other Rupert, and then, in a flash of light, the two sort of merged together with a freaky "woot-woot-woot" sound. Then there was silence.

"Okaaay." Nick said. "Weird." He jumped up and pulled the Time Board out of the tree. Then he got on it and picked Rupert off the ground, holding onto him as he entered the time coordinates for the Present…and back to where they'd once belonged.

"Let's take the shortest route home, Rupert." Nick said, flipping the switch that started the Time Board. A vortex opened up and the Time Board shot through…

THE PRESENT DAY, A MOMENT AFTER NICK AND HAMSTERVIEL LEFT…

Lilo and Stitch held each other tightly, sobbing. Tears flowed freely, becoming a puddle. Nani and David who were above them, tried to comfort them, but to no avail. Heartwing and Angel were trying to stop their crying as well, but Heartwing was crying himself, those white, shining tears flowing freely down his cheeks, and Angel was hysterical. Nani herself was close to losing it, and Jumba was tearing the underground silo apart, looking for the Time Board plans, desperately searching and not finding them.

**KA-BOOOOOOM!**

Everyone turned and saw the Time Board coming out of the portal. It skidded on the floor, sending up sparks before coming to a halt finally. Nick, still holding Rupert, slowly got off, standing up and looking around after laying Rupert on the ground.

"_Aloha_." Nick said, a huge smile breaking out on his face. And with that he ran forward and tightly hugged Lilo and Stitch, not letting go, sobbing as he told them how much he'd _missed_ them, how terrible and yet wonderful his time in the future had been, how so much had happened…

Truly there was no place like home, where your family and where your heart is.

They finally got Nick to settle down. "Nick, what do you mean? What happened in the future?" Nnai wanted to know. Nick looked down at the ground and bit his lip. "I…I don't think I should tell you everything, but…well…I'll tell you about it later. Someone else should hear what I have to say. Uh, pick Rupert up and we'll go to Gantu's ship. We gotta stop by Keoni and Victoria's house too."

Jumba blinked and stiffened up. "How? You…you know?"

Nick nodded. He held out his hand, gesturing towards the unconscious alien on the ground of the hideout. "Lilo, Stitch, Angel, Heartwing, Pleakley, Nani…meet Rupert von Hamsterviel, Jacques's twin brother. Now we gotta go get everyone else together, I have a really long story to tell and other ears need to hear it…and they need to hear it yesterday."

So, all of them left the hideout. Jumba carried Rupert as they made their way to Keoni, and then Victoria's houses. They convinced the two to come with the whole group to Gantu's ship.

And Nick told Lilo something…

When Nick knocked on the door, 625 answered it.

"Oh, it's youse guys. Whaddya want?"

"I got a good name for you." Lilo told him. "How do you like the name Rueben?..."

ABOUT AN HOUR LATER…

"…and then I said "Let's take the shortest route home, Rupert", flipped the switch, and headed back here, to the present."

Everyone gaped.

"Oh wow." Lilo said. "I mean, that…that's…wow…"

"Jeez, you went through all of THAT? And I actually…died?" Keoni asked softly.

"Hamsterviel's first name is Rupert?" Pleakley wondered out loud.

"And you're bisexual…go figure." Nick said. "So that's what happened. I uh, tried to leave all the nasty stuff out since…well, I…I didn't think I could talk about it. But now you all know the whole story."

Everyone was silent for a while. Nick looked down at the ground, hands on his knees, biting his lip. Lilo finally walked over to him and held her hand on his. "Nick?"

Nick looked up. "…yeah?"

Smooch.

Nick's eyebrows went up as Lilo kissed him on the cheek. "You were really, really brave." She said, turning slightly red. "And uh…I thought that was really nice of you to save the bad mousey, even after he tried to hurt us. So…_mahalo_."

Nick blinked slowly as his face began to flush with color. "Uh, um…uh-huh-huh-huh, gee, Lilo, I…thanks, I…aw, shucks…" He rubbed the back of his neck, a silly love-sick grin on his face. Lilo hugged him. "We're just glad you're back."

"I DIE?!?" 627 exclaimed, unable to believe it. "We all die? All of us?"

"Well…yeah."

627 sat on his back, groaning. "Ugh…great. So what are we supposed to do now that we know who the rabbit really is? I can't work for a bad guy who's not really bad! And I'm not gonna work for evil if it only gets me killed and…and if…if…"

"If what?" 621 inquired, looking at 627 with a raised eyebrow. 627 rolled on his side and wouldn't answer. Finally 561 spoke up.

"You said I gave you my power in the future…what proof do you have of that?"

Nick held out his left hand. "Sniff away." Nick said.

561 hopped out of the stool he'd been sitting on and flew over to the hand, sniffing it. He suddenly reeled back, eyes wide with shock. "His hand...it oozes the scent of ME! Of my smell!"

Jumba rubbed his chin. "Hmm…experiment 421, would you be so kind as to sniff boy's right appendage, please?"

Heartwing hopped over to Nick's right hand and breathed in the scent.

"…mmmmmmmm!" Heartwing hummed. "Mmmm!" Lilo sniffed it. "Hey, it smells pretty good! Like a fresh flower on a good spring day…with a hint of…vanilla?"

Victoria sniffed Nick's left hand. "Hmm. Smells like a windy fall day in October…and I can sorta smell chocolate! Smells like dark chocolate…"

Nick withdrew his hands. "Um, please stop sniffing my hands." He requested. "Do you believe me now?" He asked 561. 561 grudgingly nodded. "That power and scent could have come from only one person…me. Though I don't know how on Earth you've managed to keep it if you yourself haven't gone into the future…"

Jumba scratched his head. "Well, is not so impossible. Boy exists outside of our timeline, and henceforth, he is not subject to all of it's laws of physics, since he does indeed come from other point of existence. Ipso facto…"

"Since Nick's from "The Real World", he's running on a different clock then we all are?" Lilo asked. Jumba shrugged. "Basically."

Pleakley sighed in relief. "I'm just glad I know now what I really am-oh, look, he's waking up!"

Hamsterviel groaned and stirred. He opened his eyes and slowly stood up, rubbing them.

"Uhh…what on Earth?...what's going on?" He inquired. "Where am I? Huh? THIS place? Gantuuuu! What are these annoying do-gooders doing in your ship? And where is experiment 628!?!" He took a step forward, but tripped on the ground and fell down, hitting his head and knocking himself out AGAIN.

Nick groaned and covered his eyes with one hand. "Aw, fuddy duddy." He said. "I guess he's reverted back to being Hamsterviel."

"…maybe we better not tell him who he really is." Lilo suggested. "I don't think he's ready for it yet. I don't think WE'RE ready for it yet."

621 shrugged. "Good point. But, uh, you know…I don't think I'm interested in killing you two anymore." He told Stitch and Jumba. "If following that road means I'll have to hurt you in any way…if it means I have to kill you…" He turned and looked at Lilo. "Well…then it's just not worth it. Maybe…maybe it never was. I mean, look at me!" He exclaimed, putting all four of his hands on his chest. "I've been holding a grudge for years and what has it gotten me? Nothing!"

"Nada." 625 agreed.

"Zip." 627 added.

"Zilch." Stitch said.

"Not a single thing." 561 commented. "So I think I too should consider a change in lifestyle…I'm going to need some time to think."

"…and I'm gonna need a drink." Gantu groaned, going to the kitchen area. "Hey, could you bring me a bottled water?" 625 called out. "…fine."

621 walked over to Stitch and scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Stitch, I uh…I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done to you and to your family, but I'm…I'm really, really sorry, and I hope that I can one day make-"

Stitch suddenly interrupted his brother by hugging him tight. "Family now." He told him. "Family forever. Always were."

621 blinked. "Really? You…you…forgive me?" Lilo nodded. "Of course! What's family for?"

621 held his upper hands together in happiness as his lower arms spread out in a "I wanna hug" fashion. Lilo complied, then stepped back, tapping her chin. "Now we just gotta think up some names for you and the others."

"I DON'T wanna be Chopsuey." 621 said.

"I think "Rueben" is a nice name." Rueben said. "I'm stickin' to it."

561 made a thoughtful face. "…my name can wait…but I wouldn't mind one, I suppose."

And 627?

"…aw, come onnnn! First I wasn't evil enough and now you wanna go good? Ugh. Look, it's gonna take a lot more than companionship to make me wanna join up with you losers." He suddenly jumped up from the ground and extended all of his arms, spikes…and extra head.

"Enough talk, let's just fight and get this over wi-"

Lilo suddenly strode over and smacked him in the face. He blinked stupidly. "W-what was that for?" He asked dumbly.

"You know that if you keep on being evil, we're going to have to keep fighting you, and you're going to lose, you big dummy! You know you can't really win! Just swallow your pride and let us help you!"

627 slowly blinked. Then he walked over to a chair and sat down in it, turning away. "…"

Lilo turned to Gantu, who had come back with a bottle of lemonade and Rueben. "Well?"

Gantu downed the lemonade in a single gulp. "I'll need to think about this." He said. Rueben grinned. "Well, I'd better stay here and keep an eye on ol' blubber butt." He told Lilo. "Y'know, make sure he don't hurt himself."

Stitch smiled. "Oketaka." He said. Lilo smiled too. "We'll wait for you." She said. "Now come on. 621, 561, we gotta find your one true place!"

A DAY AND A HALF LATER, ON DECEMBER 28TH…

It hadn't taken that long to find 621's one true place. He now had a name too…Scratch. It made sense, since he was always scratching himself and used to be Mr. "I'll scratch your eyes out!!!". He was now working at the local Asian restaurant along with Sinker. As it turned out, Scratch made very, _very_ good chopsuey. (He still HATED being called Chopsuey, or "Chops" or "The Chopster".)

Scratch grinned "All right…a party of five comin' in, a B-rater." His extra arms sprang out, revealing two spatulas in each hand.

Their boss came in, eyes wide. "Scratch! We got three orders of puupuu platter, two order of pork fried rice, one order of beef and broccoli and five orders of-"

"Chopsuey." Scratch finished. "Everyone comes for the chopsuey."

Suddenly…

"_Ohh_." He said, astonished at who had walked into the entrance. "Who…who is THAT? Is that…"

_There…you are…like a falling star…_

Sinker smiled. "Aw, that's Carmen. I heard the boss-man say she was gonna be helping us here on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. She's going to be entertaining our patrons…is patrons the right word?" Sinker wanted to know.

But Scratch couldn't take his eyes off of her. "Those…those EYES, those beautiful baby blue eyes, so deep and clear…that smile, her fur, what a shade of pink! And that headdress of fruit on her head…so exotic!"

"She's a maraca dancer. She's supposed to get you addicted to her infectious Latin beats. Make you dance 'till you drop." Sinker explained. "Ohhh, I get it. You LIKE her, don'tcha? She's a pretty little thing, isn't she? And Angel's based off of _her_ design…"

Carmen giggled when she saw Scratch was looking at her. She shook her maraca at him and did a sexy hip-bump against a nearby table.

Scratch melted. "Ahhhhhh…" And fainted on the floor.

A few moments after they'd all left Gantu's ship, the Galactic cops had shown up. Gantu and Rueben had been let off, since they weren't doing anything wrong at the moment, and since Lilo had spoken up on their behalf.

So only Hamsterviel had been sent to prison. Nick felt really guilty about it…but it was the only thing that could be done right now, they had reasoned. One day they'd find a way to bring Rupert back, but for now…he would have to spend his time in a jail cell, thinking about what he'd been trying to do.

561 was spending a lot of time with his formerly hated rival, Heartwing, and was also trying to decide on a name. He was currently stuck between three names: Darkwing, Eclipse, or, believe it or not, Lucifer.

Well…he HAD been considering it…

"I want a name to instill fear into the hearts of men." He had told Lilo when she had inquired about that last name.

"Yeah, but do you really want your nickname to be "Lucy"?" She asked.

So he changed his mind. No way did he want to be called "Lucy".

"Then what SHOULD I be called?" He wondered out loud.

He found the inspiration at the comic book store. He was reading a comic entitled "Dragonborn". Inside, the main character was talking about his favorite superhero. The name caught 561's eye.

"…Nightwing, huh?..."

He chuckled. "Now THAT sounds like a name to instill fear into the hearts of men!"

(Please don't sue me DC comics, I don't own your superheroes!...wish I did, though. And big cheers to the author Dragonborn for his suggestion! Nice idea!)

Jumba had been constantly pacing in his room for hours on end, constantly going over Nick's story of the future, worrying about what the future now held. He had ended up making markings on the floor upstairs due to his nonstop pacing, and he hadn't stopped until Nani had taken him aside and had calmly explained that unless he was willing to pay 300 something dollars to pay to fix the floor, he should stop worrying about the future when his family might be dead, and focus on the present, where his family actually was. Sage advice…AND a threat! Good old Nani.

Myrtle and her friends, meanwhile, when they'd encountered a preoccupied Victoria and Keoni, had managed to drag Nick's story out of them. When Victoria and Keoni told them that all of them had been crucified in the future, they'd been struck dumbfounded. Then they'd screamed and ran.

As for the two red heads, both of them were now spending a lot of time together, going on "dates and not-dates".

Pleakley meanwhile, had been trying to get on the dating scene as well. So he "went out to a club or two", which was all he'd tell the Pelekai household he was doing whenever he went out at night. Which was probably a good thing. Some things were better left unsaid. When Pleakley was ready, they all knew he'd tell them.

That day though, thoughts of names, the possible future and general dark things had been far from Nick and Lilo's mind. They were at the beach, and the sun was now setting.

Lilo leaned next to Nick and smiled at him. Nick smiled right back. "Hey, Nick…when we get home, let's look again for that present I was gonna give you for Christmas." She said. "I know we haven't found it, but…well, this time I'm going to go get Finder to help us. He's been busy but he's got some free time tomorrow, so…"

Nick smiled. "Hey, I'm just glad you and everyone else is…well, here! Here and alive and happy and not all under cloudy skies…that's a really, really nice gift. And being here with you on the beach with this great sunset, well, it's…it's uh…" He was turning red. "It's, um…really nice too…"

Suddenly Nick's watch sprang to life.

"If we were a movie…you'd be the right guy…and I'd be the best friend…you'd fall in love with in the end…we'd be laughing! Watching the sunset! Fade to black! Show the names! Play the happy sooooooong!"

Nick and Lilo both blinked and looked down at the watch. Nick went "ah-heh…" and smiled nervously. Lilo looked away and then looked back at Nick, smiling nervously as well.

"Uh…Nick…I'm…I'm really, really glad you didn't get hurt…and…and I'm really glad you came back okay."

Nick hugged her, and she hugged him back. "I'm glad too." Nick said softly.

Then the two kissed each other on the lips. They withdrew, each having sheepish smiles. Then they turned to watch the sunset, and as it set on the Hawaiian horizon, they slowly but surely leaned closer to each other, holding hands, leaning on each other as the sun finally faded into the ocean and the many stars of the night sky came out…

Over the beautiful paradise that was Hawaii.

**BGM: As Lovers Go, by Dashboard Confessional**

_She said "I've gotta be honest,  
You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here."  
And I said "You must be mistaken,  
cuz I'm not fooling...this feeling is real"  
She said...she said "You gotta be crazy,  
What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?  
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks,  
You've got passion, but I swear that you've got me all wrong!" _

All wrong…  
All wroooo-oooong!  
But you got me...

I'll be true, I'll be useful...  
I'll be cavalier...I'll be yours my dear.  
And I'll beloooong to you...  
If you'll just…let me through!

_  
This is easy as…lovers go,  
So don't complicate it by hesitating,  
and this is wonderful as loving goes,  
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?_

_  
And I said "I've gotta be honest  
I've been waiting for you all my life!"  
For so long I thought I was asylum bound,  
But just seeing you makes me think twice!  
And being with you here makes me sane,  
I fear…I'll go crazy if you leave my side!  
You've got wits...you've got looks,  
You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight? _

Tonight.  
Toniiii-iiight!  
You've got me...

_I'll be true, I'll be useful...  
I'll be cavalier...I'll be yours my dear,  
and I'll beloooong to you...  
If you'll just…let me through!_

_  
This is easy as…lovers go,  
So don't complicate it by hesitating,  
and this is wonderful as loving goes,  
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting and…_

_This is easy as…lovers go,  
So don't complicate it by hesitating,  
and this is wonderful as loving goes,  
This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting and…_

_This is easy as…lovers go,  
So don't complicate it by hesitating,  
and this is wonderful as loving goes,  
This is…tailor-made, what's the…sense in waaaaaiiiiting?_

**Author's Note:**

**WOAH! That was a ****really**** long chapter, and I'm proud of it. But of course I'd be proud of it, I wrote it and all that! **

**Well, now you all know what 561's name is and shall be. But hmm…what…about…627? He's a funny one, that's for sure. And he's got some serious issues inside. But I think I have an idea for his name all the same. Hey that rhymes! I am a poet and I did not even know it, but my feet show it, they're longfellows! Ha-ha! My old Latin teacher loved that one. **

**Now I'm going to move onto the next part of the series…Lilo and Stitch's encounter with Leroy, as seen in the movie "Leroy and Stitch". Wish me luck everyone!**


	59. If You Love Them

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN**

IF YOU LOVE THEM…

"I'm nervous." Nick said. "I've…well, I've never been in front of…of so many people before…"

"Relaxing!" Jumba said, adjusting his piano-key tie. "Is no pressure. This is celebration, not war tribunal, heh-heh."

"Okay, okay…um, lemme know if my leg starts jiggling. It's something I got from my dad."

"We'll let you know." Lilo told him. She gave his hand a squeeze. "Just don't worry, okay?"

December 29th, and all was dark inside the Galactic Alliance council-room. The lights had been turned off, and every single gathered alien, each an important representative, one of thousands of civilized and amazing planets, all whispered to each other. They knew who Jumba Jookiba and Wendy Pleakley were, but…but two earthlings? AND Experiment 626? Being brought here? Would they really show up? What would they look like? How would they react when they heard-

The huge, triangular doors at the far end of the council opened, and the lights flooded on. Everyone went "ooh" and "aah" as the guests of honor floated in on anti-gravity platforms. Elephantine aliens in blue and gold outfits blared trumpets that announced the guest's entry. Everywhere there was clapping, cheering, and in some cases, snapping of claws.

First was Jumba, wearing his usual yellow Hawaiian t-shirt with red and orange flowers. Pleakley was in his best officer's outfit, all polished spick and span. Stitch had had his hair brushed and he'd taken a long, hot shower. He now smelled pretty good, and he was wearing a bright red dog collar with shiny gold button studs. He grinned and waved at everyone. Lilo was there as well, a beautiful pink flower in her hair, wearing a nice blue and white muumuu freshly pressed by Nani, her hair shampooed and combed so that she now had a minty scent. And there was Nick, wearing a green polo shirt with a blue vest, white sneakers, blue jeans and a huge smile. He'd showered for 20 minutes just so he'd look his best, and now smelled like vanilla. He brushed his hair back and then sheepishly waved to everyone.

"Boy, this feels weird." Nick whispered. "All these…well, aliens, staring at me…hey, does that one have a butt for a-"

"Don't stare." Jumba whispered quickly.

"Sorry." Nick apologized.

All of them floated towards a huge, central platform, where the Grand Councilwoman stood with some consorts. She was wearing her usual black robe with red trimmings, along with the horn-like orange/yellow shoulder pads. Once all of them had arrived at the platform they stepped off. Jumba bowed, then Pleakley, and then Lilo, Stitch and finally Nick followed suit.

The Grand Councilwoman stepped forward into full view. "_Aloha_." She said. "_Aloha_!" They all said back. "It is good to see that you all decided to come."

"Thank YOU for having us here." Nick said. "It's a real honor."

The Grand Councilwoman smiled and gestured at one of her consorts, who flung a switch on the platform. Two vid-screens popped up in the air above them, and pictures of Jumba's many experiments began to flash. Tank, Hunkahunka, Angel, Hammerhead, etc, etc…

"We have gathered here today to honor Lilo, Stitch, and their family. They have successfully managed to capture all 626…"

"627." A robotic consort quickly whispered.

"627 of Dr. Jumba Jookiba's experiments, turned them from bad to good…and found each a place where they can belong."

"Gimme five!" Lilo and Stitch slapped hands. "Up high." Nick said. Stitch gave him one. "Down low." Nick said. Stitch tried, but Nick pulled it away. "Too slow! Heh-heh. Just kidding. You rock."

"Naga. You rock."

"Naw, you rock more."

"Stitch know."

Lilo sniggered. Nick chuckled.

"You are all heroes. And so, for all of your help, you shall be given great honors. The Galactic Council has elected to grant you all rewards." The Grand Councilwoman told them. "Jumba Jookiba!"

Jumba stepped forward, brushing his three hairs back, nervously biting his tongue.

"Ever since the Galactic Alliance first captured experiment 626, better known as Stitch, we shut your lab off completely from you and from all, save for Alliance guards. We now grant you the key to your lab for your achievements in rehabilitating your experiments."

Jumba gasped, all four eyes blinking, as a guard handed him the key to his lab on a red pillow. He took the solid green, glowing key in his hands, holding it up, face filled with awe. Finally he broke into a huge smile and laughed. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, THANK you, Grand Councilwoman! I cannot wait to be back in lab again, heh-heh-heh. With laboratory, evil possibilities are ENDLESS!"

He stepped back onto his platform. The Grand Councilwoman nodded, and then announced "Agent Wendy Pleakley!"

Pleakley stepped forward, saluting. In the crowd of aliens were his father, mother and sister. His father had fallen asleep, so his mother elbowed him awake.

The Grand Councilwoman continued. "You shall be granted the honorary position of chairman of Earth Studies at G.A.C.C for your efforts in aiding Lilo and her family."

Pleakley's hands went to his mouth. "R-really? Galactic Alliance Community College? My old alma mater? Oh happy day!" He cheered and jumped up and down. A guard handed him a professor's four-brimmed teaching hat, which he took eagerly, fingering it as he went back to his platform.

"Experiment 626…Stitch."

Stitch stepped forward, giving a bow and a polite smile.

"You have done much indeed. You have proven yourself to be brave and courageous in the face of insurmountable danger, and have proven your worth time and time again. For your accomplishments, the Galactic Alliance now grants you the title of Captain of the Galactic Armada, and commander of its new flagship…the BRB-9000."

Stitch raised an eyebrow. Lilo blinked and looked at Jumba. "What's that?"

The Grand Councilwoman nodded at a nearby consort, who pressed a button. A huge hologram of a big, red battleship appeared. It was streamlined, with a fancy-looking red paintjob, white trimmings, many nice spherical windows, a huge tailfin, smooth wings and best of all…friggin' HUGE engines.

Stitch's eyes widened. "Ooooh!" He said, clapping his hands. THIS he liked. "Woohoo!" He shouted, jumping in the air. His family smiled.

"Like a kid at Christmas." Pleakley said. "No kidding." Nick agreed. "Um…what's BRB?" Lilo asked.

"Big…red…battleship!" Stitch exclaimed, laughing maniacally.

"Nicholas Michael Grey!"

Nick stepped forward and got onto one knee, as if he was a knight bowing before a queen. "Yes, Grand Councilwoman?"

"You may rise."

Nick stood up.

"Nick Grey, you are a new arrival to the Pelekai household…"

And a new arrival to more than that. She thought. She'd been told the whole story. It had surprised her quite a bit, but she had gotten over it quickly, as had the Council. The theory of other dimensions existing had gained popular support over the years…and now here was living, breathing proof. He was a walking miracle, people said.

"But you've showed yourself to be filled with a sense of right and wrong that has guided you to make choices that have saved lives over and over again. Your influence has helped change some of Jumba Jookiba's most deadly experiments and it is because of you that the dangerous felon Dr. Hamsterviel is now behind bars."

Nick immediately felt something inside of him get kicked in the crotch. Whatever happy feeling he'd been getting from this intergalactic pat on the back had vanished the moment she'd mentioned him…Rupert. The Grand Councilwoman knew, of course, but there wasn't anything that could be done, not yet. And she didn't want the council to know yet either. Not until they found a way to help Rupert.

She gave Nick a look that made him blink suddenly. And he knew then that she understood how he felt. So he simply nodded.

"Nick, you've done so much for Lilo, Stitch, their family…and this entire galaxy. For your actions, we are granting you the position of Multiverse Ambassador. You will no represent the many dimensions of existence outside of our own here in the Galactic Alliance council. Your position is one of the highest possible honor. And…because we know you did originate from a different dimension…we have a very, very wonderful surprise for you."

Nick blinked. "Oh, really?" He asked. "What?"

The Grand Councilwoman held up a small holographic projector and pressed a big green button on it. A hologram of what appeared to be a large, tube-like capsule with a computer console attached to it appeared. "Our scientists are of the keenest minds in the Universe." She said.

"Myself included." Jumba snickered.

"Yes, keen…AND humble." Pleakley said, a smug smile spreading.

"Yes, truly-HEY!"

"And we have developed a machine that will take you…home." She handed the projector to Nick, who took it in his hands.

The minute his hands touched it, Nick's heart suddenly seem to stop beating. Suddenly blood rushed to his head, lightning going through his body…

"I…I could go back? Oh…oh wow…oh **WOW**!"

Nick bowed over and over again. "Oh, _mahalo_ plenty, Grand Councilwoman! I can't wait to tell my best friend Matt about what I've done!" He went back to his spot. The Grand Councilwoman smiled, and then…

"Lilo Pelekai!"

Lilo stepped forward, giving her best curtsy.

"You, like Stitch, have proven to be invaluable. Without you, none of this would be possible. It was you who first tamed Stitch, and you who first offered to convert his cousins to the side of good. The galaxy, and even the universe, cannot thank you enough for this tremendous service you have done."

Lilo blushed and twirled her hair a little bit as she nervously rubbed her hands behind her back. "Aw, it was nothing." The Grand Councilwoman held up a golden medal with a blue flag that had the Galactic Alliance symbol on it.

"For your tremendous part and in honor of your kindness and courage, we make you a Galactic Ambassador…the first Ambassador of Earth." The Grand Councilwoman smiled at her. "Your parents would be so proud of you."

Lilo looked to the side for a moment…but then looked back at the Councilwoman, smiling, a single tear going down her face. She was so, so happy. And she really felt like her parents were there, standing by her side.

"And Lilo, you are now the sole guardian of Stitch's "cousins" as Ambassador of Earth."

Lilo blinked. "Huh? What? Wait…does that mean…that…that you guys are all going to leave? And…and not come back?"

Jumba, Pleakley and Stitch all looked at each other, then at the Grand Councilwoman. They looked at Lilo. Nick looked at them and then at Lilo, then at the holographic projector in his hand.

"I…I guess…" Nick said. Suddenly he wasn't so happy anymore. Jumba immediately felt very, VERY hot all of a sudden. Pleakley nervously bit his lip, and Stitch's ears hung down as he guiltily looked away from the projector of the BRB in HIS hands.

Lilo finally spoke up. "I think Stitch wants to go back to Kauai…right Stitch?" She looked at him. He blinked a few times.

Nick immediately got it though. He put the projector back in the Grand Councilwoman's hand before Jumba spoke up. "I can't accept this. I stand by my girl."

Pleakley immediately got it as well. "Oh, right. I can't accept this honor. I'll go back too."

Stitch nodded. "Uh, ih. Yeah. Kauai."

Jumba blinked. "Eh?" Pleakley elbowed him. "Isn't there something you want to SAY?" He muttered harshly under his breath. "Um, no I…oh." NOW he got it. "Um, yes, am wanting to return to stinky water planet with little girl."

Pleakley gave him a glare. "_What_?" He wanted to know. Pleakley just glared again.

The Grand Councilwoman raised an eyebrow. "Is that your…final decision?"

They all looked at Lilo. Lilo looked back at them. She seemed ready to cry. Each and every one of our heroes all looked at each other, and then at Lilo, who held her flower in her hands, letting it drop to the platform as she hung her head slightly.

They nodded. "I think we had best go." Jumba suggested. The Grand Councilwoman groaned inside her head. "Oh, how I sometimes HATE this job."

The flight back home was uneventful…until they got to Hawaii, that is. As their red spaceship flew over Kauai back to the house, Stitch's cousins all waved hello and cheered as they saw them fly above them. Nick was amazed how wonderfully it had all turned out. The cousins had all found one true places, they were all good, and they all were happy to see them, all over the island and then some! It was like a dream come true.

And now, Nick suddenly realized, that dream that Lilo and Stitch had, to look after the cousins together…if they all decided to take the Galactic Council up on their offer…that wasn't going to happen. What would happen was Stitch, Jumba, Pleakley…and him…would have to leave.

Nick looked down at the ground and at his sneakers. What was he gonna do?

Lilo could really take care of the cousins, and he really wanted to see Matt and his family back in his world…

_But I love herrrrrr…_

The ship touched down. They were back at the house.

Nick got out and stepped on the ground. He noticed a little dandelion poking up. He picked it up and held it in his hand. He kept holding onto it as he walked to the house with the others, thinking…thinking…

Meanwhile, in a prison cell.

"I…hate…everybody." A certain furry, very messed-up alien rabbit/hamster/mouse said.

Once more he was stuck in a jail cell…but this time it was in one that he had no control over. He couldn't have experiments sent to him, he couldn't contact anyone…he could do nothing…

Well, nothing except screech insults at the guard, who's name was Bob, outside of the cell. The evil madman bounded up and down, yelling at the top of his lungs at poor Bob, who was only here because it had been a longstanding tradition among his kind to be guards of the Galactic Alliance. He'd much rather have been a construction worker or better yet, a first mate of a ship. He was used to being insulted though, the guy next to Hamsterviel, a dangerous terrorist named "Leader Ripp", would not stop singing annoying songs.

"If I could be a superhero…I'd like to be…"Justice Guy"! Making sure people get what they deserve…especially women who lie! Like when a wife leaves her husband and three kids with no job to go off to f—king Hawaii with some dumb guard named Bob…I will skin them and drain them of blood so they'd die…especially _Bob_…then I will be Justice Guy!"

"Oh, stuff it, you stupid one-eyed, one-armed freak."

"**I'll make you eat your parents!"** Ripp snarled.

"He'll **do** it, man!" Someone in the next cell shouted.

"I said stuff it." Bob growled. He walked over to Ripp's cell (Ripp was thoroughly and securely tied up) and pulled out a stun gun on as stick, opening the cell up. About 600,000 volts of electricity soon went coursing through the terrorist's veins. "G-g-g-g-g-guuuaaahhhh!"

Bob then walked out of the cell, smirking. "Now THAT'S what I call shock therapy at it's best."

It was at this time that Hamsterviel chose this moment to screech as loud as he could. "You stupid, annoying guarding guard! Once I am out of here, I shall rearrange your faaace!"

"…yeah, I'll bet you will…shrimp."

"You DARE insult ME, the-"

"Great Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, I know, I know. I've heard it all before, all right? Give it a rest, you…heh…wascally wabbit."

That did it.

"RRRARRRRGGGHHHH!" Hamsterviel screamed, banging his fists against his transparent carbonium walls. "I AM IRKED! I'll kill you! I'll kill you until you are most sincerely dead!"

"Sure, sure. You should just get over it. You lost. Everyone else won. Don't you like happy endings?"

Hamsterviel stuck his tongue out and walked over to the corner in his orange prison uniform. "I'll get out…" He swore. "Just…you…all…**wait**."

At the beach, Heartwing was showing Nightwing how to make a sandcastle. He gently gathered up a huge pile of sand, and then proceeded to form it up with a bucket and some cups. He raised a claw as if to say "Watch" and then…

Woomp-fwoop-boom-bang-woosh-fwudd!

Heartwing stepped back and gestured at his masterpiece. "Ta-da." He said cheerily. Nightwing looked it over. Somehow Heartwing had managed to make a five-story castle, complete with ramparts, a pool, a moat, a stable, and a little flag on every single one of its four spires.

"How on Earth did you do that?" Nightwing wanted to know. Heartwing clapped his hands together. "Wrists." He said, bowing. Nightwing smiled a little…then sighed and sat down on the sand.

"Cousin, I…I sometimes do not know if I have done the right thing. A new year comes, a new day dawns…but I still don't feel…feel serene, the way Nick said I should…am I doing something wrong?"

Heartwing blinked. He tilted his head to the side.

"What I'm saying is…is there more to being good that I should know about?"

Heartwing shook his head and put his hand on his cousin's shoulder. "Feel. Not know. Feel. And it'll come."

Nightwing blinked slowly. "You really believe so?" Heartwing nodded enthusiastically. "…well, thank you for…for believing in me." Nightwing said. "It is…_nice_…to feel that someone believes in me."

Heartwing grinned. "Race?" He asked. "Okay. First one to Cannonball Point wins and gets to record their show on the "Tivo"."

"Fine! Shinken Ranger for me!"

"And _I_ shall be taping "Dark Ally"."

"Won't win though!"

"Put your money where your mouth is, oh cousin of mine! One, two, three...GO!"

Scratch meanwhile, was speaking with 627 in back of the restaurant Scratch worked at. "What is it, 627?" Scratch asked. "I've got to get back to work in two minutes."

"You're really getting interested in that Carmen chick…"

"Yeah, so?"

"I think you're going soft. AND I think she's a-"

"Hey, she's no indocumentato, as she would say."

627 blinked. "What? Oh, illegal immigrant? No, I was thinking more along the lines of "slut"."

"…I think you need to find a purpose, 627."

"Pfft!" 627 said, dismissing the comment. "I'm fine with my life, 621."

"My name is Scratch now."

"See, before you woulda never…ARGH! You've been domesticated, like that dumb bh Yapper dog! You know, I tried to take her on a date last night, turns out it wasn't her that I took to the movies and then to the beach, but some normal Shi Tzu dog…ah well, wasn't much of a loss if you know what I-"

"I have to go back to work." Scratch said stonily, walking back inside. 627 made an annoyed face and turned away, grunting, walking off into the woods. "Man, I don't even know what I WANT anymore…" he grumbled. "I mean, what's the point in being evil if nobody's gonna pat me on the back for it?"

He stopped, sniggering suddenly his attitude changing a little. "Though it does feel good…so goooood…good being **evil**…" Then 627 growled in a feral fashion. His eyes became slits. "Yes…evil…evil! Evil! **EVIL**! **HA-HA-HA-HA-HA**-"

He slammed his hands over his mouth, gasping. His eyes returned to normal. "Oh…okay, get a grip. I'm not like that anymore, I can…I can control E-Vile, I can control 627…so who am I? The one left over?..."

The forest had no answers for him.

Back at the Pelekai house, Lilo was in the kitchen, working on a pink log book. She was adding the final touches.

"Now that all of your cousins are in their one true place, we can do whatever we want." She told Stitch…who was slumped, his back to the kitchen sink, tongue hanging out. He muttered a "yeah-yeah" and fell to the ground, tongue rolling out onto the kitchen floor. He groaned, utterly bored.

"I'm gonna finish up the logbook. It's got a picture for every one of the experiments in the one place they belong. Plus Nick did a nice job on the descriptions."

"Thanks." Nick said. He was looking at the comics section of the newspaper. "Heh. This is funny! Man, I wish I could build that kind of rocket like Jason does…heck, I wish I could drive a _car_ like Peter…"

"What do YOU wanna do?" Lilo asked Stitch. Stitch rubbed his chin for a moment, then immediately jumped on top of the counter. He opened up a drawer and got out a few dishes. Then he reached into the sink and pulled out the pipe, bending and twisting it slightly. A few more minutes and some more kitchen appliances later…

"Vrooom! Vrooooooom!" Stitch cried, running around the kitchen holding the makeshift model over his head as he made jet noises. Then he ran up the wall and on top of the ceiling. "Ooh! Ahkoota!" He shone what appeared to be a small flashlight that was attached to the model onto Jumba's nearly-bald head, making it shine.

"Ah." Jumba said, having just walked in. "Scale model of Big Red Battleship. Impressive." Then he walked over to the microwave and unplugged it.

"Uh, what are you doing to the microwave?" Lilo asked. Jumba said "Ha, without evil genius lab, Jumba have to settle for primitive Earth popcorn maker…"

"And frozen burrito defroster." Nick added.

"That too. Will have to settle for this to energize future experiments…don't worry," He added, seeing Lilo, Nick and Stitch's faces, "I will not be making any evil ones if I can help it, have learn-ed lesson."

Pleakley walked into the room and to the cupboard, getting out some cereal, then going to the refrigerator and getting out some milk. He was humming some kind of anthem of some kind that Nick had never heard before. It sounded like a school cheering chant of some sort.

"Ah, Popcorn. Did you know it was invented by Dr. Percy Spencer in the 1940's?"

Jumba laughed. "Ahhh…who cares?"

"If you were a student at G.A.C.C you would care…because it would be on the final exam." Pleakley told him. Jumba however, wasn't paying attention, he had already headed up the stairs to his room. Pleakley just shrugged, and then smiled as he turned to the table.

"Okay class." He announced. "What do we call this?" He put the cereal and the milk down, along with a bowl and a spoon.

"Uh…breakfast?" Lilo asked.

"Specifically grain-based flakes immersed in bovine gland extract." Pleakley said, pouring the cereal into the bowl, and then the milk.

"_Ewwww_." Lilo said.

Nick put his newspaper down, eyebrow raised in thought. "You know, you don't think about it much. Who WAS that first guy who thought "I'm gonna drink whatever comes outta these things when I squeeze 'em?"

Jumba, who had come back down to get a drink and had overheard it all, suddenly turned green and ran for the upstairs bathroom. "Um…maybe I'd better keep those kinds of thoughts to myself." Nick said.

Nani stuck her head into the kitchen. She was wearing long white pants, a blue Hawaiian shirt and her hair had been tied back into a ponytail.

"Hello Nani." Pleakley exclaimed.

"Mornin!" Nick cheerily greeted.

"Hey, sis!" Lilo said, smiling.

"I'm going to work. See you later, Lilo." Nani said, kissing her sister on the forehead. "Oh, by the way, Pleakley, I need you to fix Lilo's skirt for Hula class." "ONLY if you answer this extra-credit question." Pleakley told her. "Where did the native Hawaiian Hula dance originate?"

"Uh…Hawaii?"

"Yep!"

"Specifically, Hiiaka danced to appease her fiery sister, the volcano goddess Pele on Kauai, in the north shore valley of Hāena." Lilo said, reciting from memory the old story.

_Man, Disney girls ROCK!_ Nick thought, beaming.

"Very good, girls!" Pleakley said. "If you were attending G.A.C.C, I'd move you to the head of the class!"

"You know, I just realized something." Nick thought out loud. "Doesn't "Lilo" mean "Generous One" or "Lost"?"

Lilo blinked a few times.

"And "Nani" means "beautiful"?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, isn't it an interesting little factoid?"

Lilo shook her head. "Actually, originally a "factoid" was a supposed fact that actually isn't true, but that was repeated so much that others thought it was true. Ironically, now everyone thinks "factoid" means an interesting fact…"

"Wow. How do you KNOW this stuff?" Nick wondered out loud, impressed.

Stitch ran by, still "vroom-vrooming", only now he was going "ka-woooosh" as well…

And then he crashed into the dishwasher. Ouch. Lilo sighed, then went back to working on her logbook.

MEANWHILE, AT THE WATERFALL…

"Turbines to speed…shields up and running…blast off!"

Gantu's ship's engines turned slightly, and the carbines began to whiz around and around. The turbine backfired once, but the ship rose high, high into the air…and then the turbines backfired again, more loudly, and…

BAMPF! WOOMP!

The ship fell to the ground with a crash and an a large burst of smoke from the right engine. "BLITZNACK!" Gantu shouted. "Without the reserve engines, I can't get this lousy hunk of junk flying! It's stupid and useless!"

"Just like you!" Rueben laughed, making himself a hotdog with mustard.

Gantu almost turned on him…but he sighed. "Aw, who am I kidding…you're right." He got out of the controls and began to pace around the ship nervously. "I-I couldn't hold onto a single _one_ of those experiments."

"Heeyyy." Rueben told him, smiling supportively. "You've still got me, your faithful, sandwich-makin' buddy!"

Gantu turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "Yes…I noticed the little girl and her friends never captured _you_."

"I guess the one true place I belonged was with my blubber-butt buddy, Gantu." Rueben said happily, taking some mustard, spreading it on a piece of bread, and then wrapping the hot dog in the bread.

But Gantu's eyes narrowed. "Maybe that was my problem all along…"

"What? Your blubber butt?" Rueben asked, laughing. "I know nobody's ever told you this before, but…you're probably right! Ha-ha-ha!..."

Gantu gave a nasty glare and walked into the elevator. The door whizzed shut with a severe, harsh finality. Rueben suddenly stopped laughing. "Uh…Gantu?"

A few minutes later, Gantu had packed some supplies into his streamlined, manta-style two-man shuttle. It had a yellow fin, an aquamarine glass cover for the cockpit, and a very nice cup-holder. He slugged two briefcases into the trunk, grumbling to himself. The elevator door opened and Rueben came out.

"So, uh…heh-heh…" He chuckled nervously. "We, uh, takin' the old two-man shuttle, huh, buddy? Want I should fix a picnic lunch for the trip?"

Gantu turned on him, hands on hips, indignant and very angry. "There's only room for TWO on this shuttle…me and Dr. Hamsterviel. I am breaking him out of prison."

Rueben gasped. "Whaaa?"

"This is my last chance to redeem myself." Gantu told Rueben. "If I can do this, my future will be secured, and I can finally retire into a life of luxury and ease…or at least one of the two."

"But-but what about MY future? How am I supposed to pay the bills?" Rueben whined.

Gantu rolled his eyes. "Why not make sandwiches?" He slammed the trunk door shut with a THUD. "It's all that you're good at!" He snarled.

Rueben's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms. "Maybe I WILL." He spat.

"Fine." Gantu muttered.

"Fine!"

"FINE." Gantu snapped, climbing into the cockpit.

"_Ooh_, you're gonna miss my egg salad!" Rueben screamed at him, shaking his little fist.

"Too much mayonnaise, and not enough dill weed…trog!"

"Whu-what did you call me?!?" Rueben shouted, spreading his arms. But Gantu was already going out the hangar door, flying through the Hawaiian sky and heading for deep space. Rueben watched the shuttle disappear as a speck in the sky and folded his arms. "Fuh-fine. I…I don't need you. I…I don't need nobody-but-_nobody_…'cept myself." And with that he stormed off, heading for the kitchen.

BACK AT THE PELEKAI HOUSE…

Jumba fiddled around with the microwave. He'd attached a small green generator and several wires and cables to it, and was now starting a test run. The minute he pressed it…

Beep!

KABOOM!

It exploded slightly, spraying Jumba with dust. Jumba groaned and pulled out some wires from it. "Achhh! Primitive Earth science." He groaned. "If I had evil lab…"

Lilo suddenly stepped into the room. She had Jumba's lab key behind her back.

"Jumba? Uh, what was your old lab like?" She asked quietly. Jumba blinked, and then his eyes clouded over with nostalgia. "Ahhh…Galaxy Defense Industries." He grinned evilly, crossing his arms, looking up at the ceiling and remembering fondly. "State of the art genetic accelerator! Endless uburbium energy supply, _everything_ little boy genius Jumba ever _DREAMED_ of having in evil genius laboratory, ah-heh-heh-heh…"

Lilo fingered the key and took it out from behind her, looking it over and then looking at Jumba. Jumba saw she had that look from before on her face ands stopped laughing.

"Hah…but popcorn power is good too."

Beep!

"Oh, popcorn's ready."

Lilo left the room. She walked out, leaving the key with Jumba. As she walked down the steps, she heard Pleakley.

"Welcome students, to Earthiana 101. Quiet, class, quiet! Plooka, spit out that gum! Lenlu, quit playing with your antenna!"

"Pleakley…"

"AH!" Pleakley exclaimed, hiding the professor hat he'd been wearing as he had been addressing the bathroom mirror. He put it away quickly. "Um, hi! Don't mind me! I wasn't pretending to be a big shot professor of Earth Studies like I always dreamed of since before I could walk on three legs, uh…not at all! I was just, uh…" He grabbed some toothbrushes. "I was just brushing my tongues! Uhhh-huh!" He began to brush enthusiastically.

Lilo raised an eyebrow. "Right." She said, and headed for her room.

Meanwhile, on his bed, the book "The Ugly Duckling" open to his favorite spot, Stitch had the hologram projector open, showing off the…

"B…R…B…" Stitch drawled, eyes wide. Suddenly Lilo came up on the elevator to the room. Stitch quickly turned it off when he saw her. Lilo blinked a few times, then looked away sadly, going to her bed. Then she heard the sound of the elevator come up, and Nick was there.

"Hey Lilo." Nick said. "How's it going?"

"I'm…fine." She said. "Nick, you know so much about our world, could you…could you tell me what I do next?"

Nick blinked. Then he looked nervously down at the ground. "Um, Lilo, I'm…I'm afraid I don't know that much, you see, the movie in which I think all of this happens, I…I don't know anything but the title and the name of the new bad guy. I…I don't know what you should do. You should just follow your heart."

Lilo sighed. "I guess, but…it's hard. I want my family to be happy, but…but I don't want them to leave me."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, I…I felt that way when my mom and dad were getting a divorce, and…and they…wanted to know what I felt about it." He walked over to her and sat down on a little stool. "Hey…how about I tell you about what my life was like before I came here? I've got some nice stories you might wanna hear. Especially about Matt. I never told you how I met him."

Lilo turned around and nodded. "Okay. How did you meet this Matt anyway?"

Nick smiled. "Well, you see, when I was in…hmm, was it 5th or 6th? Anyway, after I had had my first girlfriend, a long time after, her name was Molly Porter, by the way, I kinda got depressed, and, and since I was basically considered a "special ed" kid through and through, I was in E.S.S. But it was a good thing I went to that class, because one day I met Matt. We just shook hands and sat down to play a game of Clue and then, every day we began to share more and more things about our lives…and then we became friends. We'd go to the pool, I'd buy him ice cream at the ice cream store down the street, we'd go on walks around the neighborhood, we always ate lunch together, heh…yeah…yeah, Matt's great. He…he's my best buddy in the whole…whole world…"

Suddenly Nick felt some tears spring to his eyes. He blinked a few times and pushed them back But Lilo had seen.

Oh yes…she had seen.

That night, Lilo was out on the hammock as the wind gently blew. She sighed in her green pajamas and then looked up at her lone visitor who was also on the hammock.

"Scrump…have I ever told you the story of the lonely rooster?"

Scrump couldn't answer.

But Lilo went on. "Once there was a rooster named Pancake. He was lonely. So he went to the beach to make friends. He made friends with a shell named Paula, an empty soda can named Jimmy…"

Now she was smiling, getting really into the story. "And a piece of a broken surfboard named Steve. They were good friends and they always had fun playing together…but then a BIG wave came." She demonstrated how big by holding her hands high up over her head. "And washed Paula and Jimmy and Steve away."

Lilo sighed. "Pancake was sad that his friends were gone…" Lilo hung her head slightly, wringing her hands. "But…but he was never lonely again, because he could always remember them…"

She stopped for a moment, looking at her feet. "The end." She finished softly, closing her eyes.

Scump couldn't answer. But Nani, who was coming up to the hammock, could. "Lilo, are you okay?"

Lilo sighed. "Oh, Scrump and I are getting used to the way things used to be."

Nani understood. "So…you're letting them go." Lilo nodded. "They'll say they wanna stay, but it's just because they don't wanna see me sad…they'll…they'll be okay without me, right?"

Nani brushed Lilo's hair and hugged her slightly. "Oh, Lilo, you're showing so much _aloha_ spirit letting them go. And the _aloha_ you give will always come back to you. It's like a circle. _Aloha_ means hello…" Nani sighed. "But it also means goodbye."

"It's hard to say goodbye." Lilo replied, barely looking up. "I know, baby." Nani told Lilo, hugging her tightly. "I know."

A few moments later the hammock was empty, and it swung alone in the Hawaiian breeze as Lilo, her doll and Nani walked back to the house.

**Author's note:**

**So, as you can tell? Lilo has made her decision. She's going to let them go. But let's not forget that Gantu's going off to rescue Hamsterviel, who's really Rupert and not Jacques. To top it off, what of 627, who simply won't take a side? He's acting pretty strange…tell me, who out there has a guess as to what's his big problem? He seems to be suffering from some form of psychosis. Any guesses on what it is? First one to get it right gets their name in lights! Read and review, people! **


	60. Let Them Go?

**CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT**

LET THEM GO?...

"What am I gonna do?"

627 paced the floor of the old hideout Hamsterviel had used, the one place he felt somewhat safe. There was only a bed, a clothes drawer, and a large mirror left. The Destiny Crystal had been hidden away by Heartwing and Nightwing upon Lilo's request.

"What to do, what to do…" 627 moaned to himself, wringing his hands.

**"You know what to do."** A rough voice said.

"Yeah…I guess…"

**"Kill them. Remember, you're evil, evil, evil! You go to their house, tear them apart and then have some fun with the girl! Remember, a true villain kills without remorse!"**

_"No, no, nooo."_ A more fluid, intelligent voice spoke. _"A true villain kills with style. What you should do is kill the girl's family in front of her, and then, while she's crying over them, ravage her slowly, savoring her screams."_

"…but…I dunno, I mean, Scratch and Nightwing would be mad with me, I mean, they've grown to like Lilo, maybe I should too…besides, Nick's story involved me dying because I got involved with evil…"

_"With an evil LEADER. But if you're the only one in charge…"_ The intelligent voice persuasively stated.

**"Kill first, philosophize later."** The rough voice growled. **"But you're dumb. Face it. You need to follow someone, it just don't gotta be an experiment. Go for the bunny."**

_"Indeed. Hamsterviel is messed up, but he's low-maintenance. Perhaps that WOULD be a good idea."_

"I can handle myself!" 627 snarled, slamming his fists into the ground, panting heavily. He was sweating.

**"So can we."**

_"You know that we're all in this together." _

"………just…just leave me alone. I need to think." 627 managed to get out weakly.

**"Be glad _we're_ the only ones speaking to you, ingrate."** The first voice laughed harshly.

The second voice spoke up once more. _"Yes, the others we've managed to keep quiet, but if you're not careful…"_

"Right, right…" 627 muttered to himself, hopping on the bed and burying his face in his hands. "Ugh…what do I want? I dunno anymore..."

He looked back up. He was alone now.

"…so, 627 you old dog, you're all alone all over again. All alone..."

Yes, alone. Like it had been before. And Lilo understood that THAT was how it all should be. Just like it had been before.

And so, the next morning, on December 30th…

"Goodbye dirty laundry! Goodbye dishes! Goodbye dust bunnies! Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye!!!" Pleakley was running around the house, waving goodbye to all of the things that drove him nuts…Jumba was first, much to his chagrin. Now he was upstairs in his room, packing his stuff, along with Jumba, who had a LOT of stuff.

"Nani said I'm showing _aloha_ spirit by letting you all go." Lilo said. "And she says that the _aloha_ you give always comes back to you."

"You give what you get, right?" Nick said, sticking his head into the room. He'd already packed what little stuff he had into a small bag. "Right." Lilo agreed.

Jumba put his very last Hawaiian t-shirt on top of the tall stack of clothes he had. He "hmmed" for a little while before speaking. "Eh, interesting theoryyy…but scientifically impossible. I'm estimating…" He rubbed his chin as one of his inventions somehow shuffled the large stack, beakers and bottles included, into his trunk. "Estimating that 23 _aloha_ is lost in giving process."

"You know…" Pleakley admitted. "_Aloha_ is one of those Earth concepts I…never did understand."

Jumba just shrugged. "Come Pleakley." He said, tugging on Pleakley's trunk. But it was so unbelievably heavy the scientist fell onto his back, groaning. "OOF! Ow, what is in here, bricks?"

"Concrete, adobe, terra cotta…" Pleakley rattled them off. "You name the brick, it's there. My students are sure to find them _fascinating_." Pleakley said dreamily. Nick and Lilo left the room to go to the rooftop dome where Stitch was.

Specifically, where he was looking at his favorite book, "The Ugly Duckling". Lilo and Nick found him as he looked through its pages, coming to his favorite part, eyes filled with sorrow, ears flat and hanging down. He slowly put it back on the bookshelf, sighing sadly and closing his eyes. He looked down at the floor.

Lilo, on her bed, was also staring at the floor. And Nick was staring out the window.

Nobody said anything for a while. Lilo looked at Nick, and then Stitch. Nick thought she was going to say something, maybe some final plea for them to stay there, to stay and live with her…

But she didn't. She closed her eyes and looked away.

Nick suddenly felt cold inside. So very, very cold. Inside, it was as if he'd been thrown into a warehouse at night in the middle of January and left all alone with no lights on. He wished he was more eloquent. Sometimes his brother could be witty, what would David say at a time…no…that wouldn't work. Wait…Barbara. Barbara, his step-mom. She ALWAYS knew the right thing to say, something deep, profound, loving…frank at times, yeah, but always caring. What would she say?

Nick thought about it. Then he thought he felt something. He looked at the watch. A song was displayed, but it wasn't playing. The watch had paused. Nick blinked at the title. He sighed, understanding.

It was "When You Say Nothing At All", by Alison Krauss.

_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,_

_There's a truth in your eyes, sayin' you'll never leave me…_

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me…_

_Whenever I faaaa-aaallll…_

_You say it best…_

_Say it best…_

_When you say nothing at aaallllll…_

Soon it came time for them all to leave. The red spaceship, the one that Stitch, Jumba, Nani and Pleakley had used to rescue Lilo from Gantu so long ago would now take all of the aliens and Nick to their new homes. Victoria, Snooty, Tag, Sparky, Page, Crystallene, Gunner, Father Joe, Keoni and his family, dad included, Heartwing, Nightwing, 627 and Scratch had all come to see them off.

Stitch looked around. Odd. "Where boojibu?" He asked Heartwing. Heartwing looked away, at the ground. Stitch tilted his head to the side a bit. "Where boojibu?" He repeated. Scratch nervously answered him. "She…she said she didn't…didn't wanna to say goodbye, and…well, we didn't want to force her or anything. She just said that…it would hurt too much to be here to see you go away."

Stitch bit his lip and fought back tears. Lilo patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay." She said. "It's okay." She had brought a few things with her to see her friends off.

Jumba brushed his hair back as Lilo stepped up to him. "Jumba, you belong back in your _real_ evil genius laboratory. But if you're ever missing Kauai…" She held up a CD. "You can play this!" Jumba took it carefully in his hands. "Its a little mix CD me and Nick put together. It's got one of my favorite songs on it, and "Hound Dog" and "Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride" on there too, because we knew you liked the songs." Jumba beamed.

"Pleakley…" Lilo said. Pleakley turned to her, giving her a warm smile. "You belong at Galactic Alliance Community College, teaching Earth stuff to aliens. That's why I'm giving you this rock." She handed Pleakley a rock. "Here it's justa dumb old paperweight, but out there…" Pleakley almost burst into tears. "It'll be a dumb old paperweight…from another planet!"

Pleakley held it to his chest. "I'll…keep it with me always."

"Nick…you belong back in your world, watching me and the others on television, with your REAL family…and with your best buddy, Matt." Nick shivered, his body racked with The Willies. He looked away from Lilo, nervously biting his lip. "Now I know I said Finder didn't get a chance to find your necklace a few days ago…but he did. I uh…kinda fibbed so that I could wait for the right moment to give you this." Lilo handed him a blue mood necklace, with a small, baby shark tooth attached. It had two turquoise beads attached, as well as two silver balls, which connected the circular mood orb to the necklace itself. On the back of the mood orb was a circular pattern that reminded Nick of a billion points of light all shooting out from a single place, like the Big Bang almost.

"Here. I know it's late, so…Merry Belated Christmas. I hope you like your gift."

Nick took it in his hands. Right now it was a swirling orange, but when he held it in his hands, it turned into a peaceful, beautiful shade of green. He immediately put it on, and as the little snap latch that held the thing onto his neck clicked into place, he suddenly didn't feel cold anymore. He felt…okay. Not so unhappy.

There was something he HAD to tell her, something he'd been keeping a secret for a long, **long** time. A secret from pretty much everyone except Heartwing.

He gently took Lilo's hand. "Thank you, Lilo. You…you…"

He just couldn't say it. Somehow he just couldn't.

"You take…take care of yourself, right?" He exclaimed, smiling widely, two tears going down his face. Lilo smiled back, and Nick saw a tear springing to her eyes too. "Yeah, I'll…I'll take good care." She wiped it away and turned to Stitch.

"And Stitch…you belong-"

Stitch immediately ran to Lilo, hugging her tightly. "I'll miss _you_ too." She said softly. In the background, Victoria was holding Keoni's hand, both parties trying not to cry. Crystallene and Gunner however, couldn't stop. Sparky looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet, antennae hanging low. Page began to recite a psalm about letting loved ones go, and Nightwing let a single tear go down his cheek. Heartwing buried himself in his cousin Scratch's arms as he wailed sadly, crystal white tears falling freely. And 627 stared at the two of them, a strange expression of…longing…on his face. Everyone felt sorry for them and couldn't look away, save for 627, who suddenly vanished from sight.

From across the clearing they were all in, Angel covered her eyes, crying to herself, not sure if she could bring herself to look anymore. It was just so painful…

"But you belong out in space, catching bad guys with the Big Red Battleship." She held up another necklace, a red necklace with what looked like some kind of small, hand-carved tiki on the bottom. "This is a very special necklace, just like Nick's. The only difference is…" She leaned in close and whispered "I kept it in a sock for 3 years." She put it on Stitch. "It's Ku Tiki, the Hawaiian god of strength!"

Stitch poked it slightly with a claw. "Promise to never take it off?" Lilo asked him.

Stitch held onto it tightly for a few moments, eyes closed, not wanting to let go all of a sudden. But finally, he said…

"Promise."

"You're number 626." Lilo said, taking a few steps back, holding her camera up. "Name: Stitch."

Stitch put on his biggest smile.

Click!

And so, it was time to go. The engines started up and the ship began to rise into the air. Lilo stood by Nani and looked at Stitch, saddened. Stitch looked out the window, hands pressed against the glass as he gazed down. Nick stood next to him, looking out the window, fingertips against the glass.

"_Aloha_." Lilo said.

"_ALOHA_!" Everyone on the ground called out.

"_Aloha_." Stitch said back.

"Goodbyeeee!" Nick yelled out.

Suddenly Angel ran out, tears flying. She waved goodbye, trying to put on a brave face. "A-a-_aloha_, boojibu!" She called out.

"_Aloha_." Stitch whispered. And although it was hard, Angel heard it. She and Lilo and Nani and the others watched as the ship rose far, far into the air, finally taking off through the sky and vanishing. Lilo hung her head, and Nani gently hugged her.

It WAS hard saying goodbye.

Meanwhile, someone was saying hello…to automated prison cell guards on the prison asteroid K-37 in the Xenon sector. Specifically, Gantu. He ran down the hallways as lasers burst all around him, ducking, diving, finally managing to whirl around, whipping out his pistol. He got two shots off, and both of them hit the flying robots that were shooting at him. The circular guard burst into flames and fell back, slamming into another and BOTH of them blew up.

But there was one more guard left to go. It blasted at Gantu, who was holding Hamstmerviel in one gigantic hand, carefully keeping him away from the line of fire. Gantu ran down the hall again, sliding out of a laser's path and jumping through a prison block door that closed…and the guard slammed into it, making a huge KABAM sound as it made a nasty impression in the door.

Gantu sighed in relief. "Don't worry, Dr. Hamsterviel." He told his benefactor. "Your escape will soon be complete."

"What do you mean, "complete"? A voice from behind him shouted. Gantu's eyes widened and he turned around to see Hamsterviel, stuck in a ceiling-hold cell. This way he couldn't bang on the walls, something that annoyed the guards to no end. "You haven't even broken me out of my cell yet!" He complained.

Gantu raised an eyebrow and held up the thing he'd been carrying. It blinked its big black eyes. "Then who is THIS?" Gantu wanted to know.

"_That_ is the warden's gerbil, you nearsighted **fish-stick**!" Hamsterviel snarled. The prisoners all around the three of them laughed and laughed and laughed, pointing at Gantu and snickering.

"Hmm." Gantu thought out loud. "He looks just _like_ you." Hamsterviel shook his head. "Only from the chest down. The top is ALL Hamster!" Hamsterviel proudly bragged.

"Security command, release portal seven!" The PA system announced. Gantu immediately pressed the control button that let the door to Hamsterviel's cell open. Then he pulled the doctor out by his ears, something that "Hammy" found very annoying. But still, once he was out and in Gantu's palm…

"Run! Runnnn!" Hamsterviel shouted, bounding up and down.

"I think I liked him better when he was unconscious and on the floor of my ship." Gantu groaned inside his head. "Why couldn't they have stuck him upside down in that cell? Or made it soundproof?"

They ran down the hall. "And put down that gerbil!" Hamsterviel demanded. Gantu ran back and stuffed the gerbil into the ceiling hold, head first. He started squirming around, squeaking madly. "Aw, man." It thought. "I hate the joint."

Eventually Gantu and Hamsterviel were soaring through space, Hamsterviel however, was far from comfortable. Because he was so small, he…well…didn't fit in the seat. He was suspended in the air almost, strapped in by two seat belts, arms folded, eyes narrowed, very unhappy in his striped blue and dark blue prison uniform.

"I brought you a little surprise." Gantu told him.

"What is it?" Hamsterviel groaned.

"An earth souvenir." Gantu said. He took out a purple ring of flowers and draped it around Hamsterviel. "They call it an _aloha lei_. It symbolizes-"

Hamsterviel grinned. "Excellent! I'm STARVING!" He began to chow down. "No, no, wait, wait, you're not supposed to eat…"

Hamsterviel let out a throaty burp.

"_Ugh_. Never mind." Gantu groaned, looking out the window. As the ship flew off into the darkness of space.

At the Galactic Alliance HQ, Stitch walked into the Grand Councilwoman's chamber. Two guards saluted him. He was wearing a black space uniform, typical of the Galactic Armada. He also had on his tiki necklace. He approached the Grand Councilwoman's desk at the far end of the room and waved. "_Aloha_." He said.

"Captain Stitch." She said, turning around in her big, rotating chair. "The Council has received…"

One eyebrow went up. "You have…coconut cake on your uniform." She admonished.

**SFX: Waa waa waaaa!  
**

"Oh. Meega sota!" Stitch said, slurping it up. The Grand Councilwoman made an "ew" expression for a moment, and then got out of her chair. "The Council has received a security alert. With the aid of the former captain of the Armada, Gantu, Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel has escaped from prison."

Stitch growled. "Bad mousey." "Indeed." "Choota!"

"This is your first mission as Captain of the Galactic armada. Seek out and capture Dr. Hamsterviel." She told Stitch as she led him to the hangar bay of the Galactic Alliance HQ. They finally arrived at a huge doorway. She pressed a control panel button and the door slid open. "It will also be the maiden voyage of…"

"Ohhh!" Stitch exclaimed, eyes widening.

"The BRB-9000."

"Big…Red…" Stitch couldn't contain himself. He rushed across the causeway to the ship as small marching band welcomed him across. "Wooooohooooooo!" He screamed.

"Like a kid at Christmas." The Grand Councilwoman thought out loud, smiling.

Stitch leapt onto the BRB and began climbing around, going "Woohoo" and cackling. He scuttled around, finally going into the ship. But, uh…not in the main entrance, where there was a "Welcome Captain Stitch" sign hanging above.

"He, uh…went in through the air manifold." An ensign told a hammerhead shark-like commander, the same one who had, three years ago, managed screw up the containment of Stitch, and it had been a good thing too.

Inside the ship, the ensigns all prepared to meet their captain. The door opened. "Captain on the…"

"Haaa ha-ha-ha-ha!" "Ceiling?!?"

Stitch was beside himself with giddy joy. "Big red, big red, big red…"

He scuttled across the ceiling and over to where a VERY nice plushy, red and white chair was. "Huh?" He plopped down in it and began to fiddle with the up/down controls, going up and down and up and down and up and down…

Weep! Woop! Weep! Woop!

Then he found the light controls. Hoo boy.

"Light go on, light go off, light go on, light go off, light go on…"

Then Stitch stopped. "Hmm…" he thought. Then he saw something he recognized. "Boochifa!" He pulled on a grey triangular ring that was connected to a yellow and black striped shaft.

"Hyperdrive activated." The computer systems of the ship proclaimed. "System charging." The crew freaked out and began running to their stations, screaming. The portal to outer space in the hangar opened up, shields going down.

One of the ensigns, who resembled an armadillo, spoke up. "Captain, uh…you're certain you want to engage the H-drive in the _spaceport_?" She asked, pulling at her collar as she sweated.

Stitch began to laugh evilly. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa..." He thrust the shaft down.

FWOOOOOOOMAAAHHH!

The ship took off through the abyss of space, spiraling up, up, while Stitch made jet engine noises, laughing. The Grand Councilwoman blinked a few times as the dust settled down in the spaceport. "Well…he's certainly enthusiastic."

Then a chunk of roof fell on her foot. She yelled and hopped up and down, groaning in pain. "Oh, how I hate this job!"

Meanwhile, at Galactic Alliance Community College, Pleakley faced the window in his new office, wearing a pair of…okay, only one glass, as he held his hands behind his back.

"Is there anything I can get you, Professor Pleakley?" A helpful attendant asked him. She was catlike and had blue fur with white pathes and long ears, and was wearing a green sweater with a teal collar that had gold studs.

Pleakley nodded. "Yes…you can give me…a great big pinch to wake me up!" He whirled around, beaming happily. "I've got a _huge_ corner office!" He exclaimed, gesturing all around. "A complete set of the Encyclopedia Earthiana, my very own walk-in closet, the keys to the college carpool van…"

He pressed the little red button on the keys and "La Cucaracha" played. Pleakley beamed and jumped on his desk, spreading his arms wide. "And galaxy-wide fame as the greatest Earth expert EVERRRRR!"

Suddenly the alien attendant gasped. "Oh! Is…is that a…a _real_ Earth rock?"

Pleakley nodded. "Why yes…yes it is, a…a very good friend gave it to me."

"Have you actually been to Earth?" She wanted to know. "Of course." Pleakley said happily. "In fact, that good friend gave it to me right before I left. I'll be sure to tell you all about it. But first you will have to wait for my first lecture." He pressed a button on the wall and hologram popped up, a map of the Planet Earth. "Perspectives on Earthiana: A One-Eyed View".

The attendant blinked a few times. "Lectures?...uh, you don't give lectures."

"I don't?" Pleakley exclaimed. "Oh, well then, in my first class you can always…"

"And you, uh, you don't have classes either." She told him, her rabbit-like legs nervously pawing the ground. "You're a supervising professor."

Pleakley sat down. "Oh."

She went on. "That's why you get all of this great stuff, the office, the encyclopedia, the walk-in closet and wardrobe, the van…"

"Oh. Right." Pleakley said, taking off his glass. His antenna drooped slightly as he sank into his chair. Then he perked up. "Could we take a look at that new, umm…wardrobe?"

Many, many light-years away, Jumba was grinning happily as he stretched his arms to the sky in his…

"Jumba's evil scientist laboratory! Is just as I left it! So many wonderful memories of evil experimentation…" He walked over to the center control console, a large thing with many beakers, levers, switches, plugs, tubes, wires and buttons on it, including a huge experimental-creation capsule right in the center. "…ending with disgrace, arrest and imprisonment, but still…" He clenched his hands together and smiled happily. "So many wonderful memories. Heh-heh…and is so much new evil to be done, heh-heh-heh!" He swept the beakers filled with orange liquid off of the console and they exploded on the floor with a "ba-woomf". He laughed madly. "Where to begin?" He wondered, putting his finger to his mouth. "Antiaircraft lollipops? Oh! Permanently stinky bedroom slippers?"

Jumba suddenly rubbed his chin. "Or perhaaaaps device to stop evil genius talking to self, ah-heh-he-heh…silly Jumba."

Back at Galactic HQ, Nick was pacing around in a huge warehouse-like room, filled to the brim with complicated machinery of every shape and size, while half a dozen scientists brought out the device which would take him home.

"Behold!" A squeaky, piglet-like scientist said. "Th-th-this is the-the Multiverse Fluctuation Generator. It opens up energy fluxes in space and time, p-p-portals, if you will, to other dimensions and p-p-places of existence."

Nick blinked. It looked like a very large ring, made out of shiny grey metal, There was a large computer console connected to it, with several wires coming out of the back and connecting to the ring itself at the top. It had little bulbs all around it, and many smaller rings inside, like one of those rides in which you get on a chair and it swirls you all around in every direction until your body is ready to puke. Another scientist spoke up.

"Don't worry, they won't hit you…we think. We still have to run a few tests."

Nick shrugged. "Okay, okay. But uh…it's safe otherwise, right?"

"Yes."

"Is it gonna hurt?"

"No, we'll be fine."

"That's NOT what I meant…" Nick whined. "How long is it gonna take to run the tests and then get this baby fired up?"

"About…two hours. I'd suggest you sit down and find a book or something to read in the waiting room. If all goes well, you'll be seeing your real family by lunchtime!"

Nick grinned. "Okay." He said, walking out of the room and heading for a door marked "Waiting Room". He sat down and picked up a magazine that was entitled "Milky Way Magazine: News You Need To Know". "Hmm." He said, opening it up. There was an interview inside with some alien from Alpha Centauri who had become despondent over something.

"Let's see. "So you used to have everything, Mr. Haju. You were head of a big corporation, had a huge family and a wonderful wife…what went wrong?" "Well I received a letter from a very, very close friend, someone I met way back in school. We'd been buddies for years. I thought he was in serious trouble, so I went out after him." "And that's when it went wrong?"

Nick raised an eyebrow. This next part was very interesting.

"Oh yes, turns out he just wanted to shoot some bull, you know. But then while we were talking a meteor shower hit his planet, and the place was devastated. And aid didn't arrive for a long, LONG time because communications had been cut off, and the area was dangerous to be flying around in, you know…" "Yes, the fifth quadrant's quite dangerous during those cycles. So what happened?" "What happened was by the time help came, my spaceship was a wreck. It took months for it to get fixed, and during that time my company crashed because everyone thought I was dead. My wife left me and remarried, my kids all hate me, and worse still, the guy who took over my company ran it into the friggin ground!" "Oh my." "He manufactured junky technology and pretty soon the planet my company was based on became desolate, and the inhabitants devolved into mole-people! **MOLE-PEOPLE**!"

Nick shut the magazine quickly. He had a funny expression on his face.

"…um…maybe there's something on the vid screen in here…" He thought out loud, reaching for the remote.

Click! Oh look, a talk show about alien issues of the galaxy. This would be good…

Or so he thought.

"I tell you, my father was a wise man, he _KNEW_ what he was talking about when he said that you can't trust strangers. That's why if anyone tried to sell him anything goin' door to door he'd _kill_ 'em. Put meat on the table like you've never seen."

"You know, if everyone walked around naked, we wouldn't have to worry nearly as much about the crime rate! I mean really, who wants to fire a flamethrower or a gun when they're in their birthday suits? NOBODY! It would just be so peaceful…"

"Man, you liberal yuppies make me sick, always blabbing on and on about "peace" and "love" and "rock music", well lemme tell you something, _boy_, the right way of life is to get rich enough to own a bigger collection of guns than the other guy and be able to look down on everybody else, that's the way it _works_! And it says right there in the Good Book he who listens to me will be rich as hell! You better be paying attention to me, I have a gun! _**I have a gun**_!!!"

"Okayyy, I think we all need to calm down a little bit…"

"I kill my own dinners, you know. When my kids are hungry I hand 'em spears and tell them to go to the park. They actually bagged us a mailman. I hugged my son and told him to get ready for a time when daddy comes home smellin' like cheap perfume…"

"You know, you save a lot of money being naked, going to breakfast wearing nothing but a smile. No need for designer clothes!"

"Look, politicians are lousy, cheating, liars but with me, you know I look good and you know where I come from. So vote for me, the guy with good hair! I mean, look at this dumb hippie, I'm a good three inches taller than him which means I'm a _lot_ more respectable I tell you, folks!"

"Now, now, don't be so angry. Come on, gimme a hug!"

"Stay behind the curtain, sir! We don't want to see your business-maker!"

"I need some looooove!"

"I mean it, this is galactic cable, we have standards to which me must-"

"My daddy locked me in a room with a garden shovel and a sow and he told me that when he was going to come back in three hours, he wanted pork chops. Now I was a little nervous at first, but Hugge, I am proud to say I filleted the **crap** outta that little piggy!"

"Off, off, off!" Nick screamed, pressing the off button over and over. "Why won't you turn off!?!" Finally he couldn't take it anymore. "**YAARRRRGGH**!" He screamed, getting up and pointing his hand at the screen.

"TOXIC SHOTGUN!" BA-BOOM! The vid-screen was in shambles.

"Okay…now…I know…why Elvis…shot that TV." Nick panted. "Man, I wish Matt or Lilo were here, they'd probably find this funny…heh-heh."

Back on Earth, Lilo walked along the beach with her doll Scrump. "Okay, Scrump." She told it. "It's time for our rounds. I used to do it with Stitch, but you can do it with me now. This is the time when we go check on the cousins to make sure they're still happy in their one true place."

_I lai la ua I la, no mala hini ohana…welcome cousins, a-come on by, aloha e komo mai!_

First up on the list was Cannonball. He was sitting on top of his usual jump-off spot, and he waved to Lilo and Scrump as the two surfed by. "Hey, can you give us a good wave?" Lilo asked. Cannonball nodded and jumped off. As he hit the water a huge wave surged up, and Scrump and Lilo rode on it, all the way past Yin and Yang's place, as the two were working on another small island. They smiled at Lilo as she rolled on by.

_I lai la ua I la, no mala hini ohana…welcome cousins, a-come on by, aloha e komo mai!_

Victoria was at Clip's place, getting a haircut. Clip, a yellow puffball of fur with big blue eyes, a pink bow and three long claws on each hand, got to work, cutting and slicing off hair until finally…voila! Victoria now had a new hairstyle. Now her hair was spiked and split down the end away from her head, along with a huge fringe of hair that almost reached down to her left eye. Lilo smiled. Victoria did look better now. Slugger, a yellow pterodactyl-like experiment was happy helping little Leaguers with practice at the field, and Lilo waved hello to him as she continued on.

_Alooooha…we'll find the place where you belong...ohaaaana…a family to call you own!_

And Frenchfry was happy too. The little grey, mustachioed, chef-hat wearing experiment made some non-fatty French fries for Lilo on the house and bid her "au revoir" as she left to make morerounds, like Stopgo, who was was next on the list. He was a yellow experiment with a thin, tall next, and his head was like a stop light, with three "eyes". One was red, one was yellow, one was green. He waved at Lilo. Some jerk beeped at him, annoyed. Lilo stuck her tongue out at the offender and he looked away, trying to ignore her.

_Wherever you feel at home, everybody sing!_

Morpholomew was next up. The little pink/red blob was helping out, of all people, the ice cream-eating tourist that Lilo saw so much of. Morpholomew could change the appearance of anyone or anything he wanted, himself included. He was a real hit at the costume store. The tourist held up a picture of Elvis aaaand…

Woomp!

"Oh, _baby_." The tourist said, grinning. He lowered his shades at Lilo and smiled. Morpholomew did too. She waved hello and kept walking.

_I lai la ua I la, no mala hini ohana…welcome cousins, a-come on by, aloha e komo mai!_

She passed by Mrs. Hasagawa's fruit stands, where Cloudy was helping out, watering Mrs. H's fruits. He smiled at Lilo, who waved. Next Lilo visited the beach, where Ploot was cleaning up the scraps and pieces of trash that people had collected. He chirped like a dolphin at Lilo and then went back to scooping them up.

_I lai la ua I la, no mala hini ohana…welcome cousins, a-come on by, aloha e komo mai!_

Ace was doing his usual heroic job, and was at the moment getting a little kitten out of a tree. He hopped down and handed it to its owner, a very grateful girl. He gave her a huge smile that twinkled. Lilo smiled right back. Next was Splat, who was helping to pave a road, Splodyhead who was helping to light torches at the luau, Sproing who was helping the movie theater owner putting up new letters for his sigh, and finally Popper, who was making popcorn for all of the people inside the theater. Lilo smiled and cuddled Scump. Yep, everyone was happy.

Then she heard familiar, annoying doggy sounds. Yep, it was Yapper, aka Gigi, a Shih Tzu dog-like experiment owned by Myrtle. She and her posse were walking down the sidewalk towards the theater.

"Wow, Wasp Mummies VI is already out." Teresa said.

"I hope my dad will lemme go see it." Elena agreed.

Myrtle rolled her eyes. "Well _I_ heard th-"

Lilo stepped out to greet them. "Aloha, Myrtle! Where are you taking Gigi?"

Myrtle raised an eyebrow. "I'm taking her to the canine spa. What did you do with YOUR dog?"

Lilo immediately answered "He's in outer space in a big red battleship fighting bad guys."

"And how come we haven't seen your aunt?" Yuki wanted to know.

"Pleakley's at Galactic Alliance Community College as a professor of Earth studies."

"And your uncle?" Teresa wanted to know.

"He's back in his evil genius laboratory probably making something to blow up solar systems or enslave us all."

"And your boyyyfriend?" Elena asked.

Lilo blinked a few times. "He…he's going back to his world. He has his family to think about, and his best friend. So he's at Galactic Alliance HQ."

Gigi whimpered as she slid out of a stupefied Myrtle's arms. The posse stared. Myrtle couldn't open her mouth for a full five seconds until after Gigi hit the ground. Then…

"Is NOT!" She pointed accusingly at Lilo. "You're such a liar, Lilo, _and_ you're a weirdo!" "Yeaaaah!" The posse all agreed.

"No I'm not." Lilo defended. "I'm done with all that weird stuff now. Wanna play dolls?"

The posse looked interested, but Myrtle shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "No-way. "Once a weirdo, always a weirdo"! That's what my dad used to say." "I didn't know you had a _dad_!" Yuki exclaimed. "Quiet Yuki!" Myrtle told her angrily. "Me neither." "ME neither." Elena and Teresa said. "I said QUIET." Myrtle told them.

Lilo looked at Myrtle, not blinking. "In fact…" Myrtle went on, "I'll bet that's why your dog ran away, and I also bet that he's NEVER-COMING-BACK." "Yeaaaah!" "Just like Myrtle's dad." Yuki said, pointing at Myrtle. "**Quiet Yuki**!" Myrtle snapped, storming off with Gigi, Elena and Teresa right behind. Yuki ran after them. "Hey, wait up!"

Lilo sighed. "Come on, Scrump." She said resignedly, trudging back home.

By the time she got home, it was very, very dark. She slowly walked across the floor as Nani stepped into the room. "Lilo! I told you, you can't stay out after sunset!" She told Lilo.

"Okaaay." Lilo groaned, getting onto the couch.

""Okay"?" Nani said, surprised. "No comeback?"

Lilo moaned, falling face first into a pillow on the couch. Nani could see something was wrong, so she walked over to her sister, kneeling down and holding her hand. "…you did the right thing, Lilo."

"…"

"Letting them go shows-"

"_Aloha_." Lilo's muffled voice said. "I know, I _know_…"

Meanwhile, back at Jumba's lab…

Our mad scientist was in front of some beakers, wearing his lab coat and a four-glass protective black visor/eye-shield as he got to work. In front of him, in the capsule, was the basic design of his latest experiment, experiment 628, floating in orange liquid. This time Jumba would be sure to make 628 a _lot_ more loyal to his master. He didn't want 628 to end up the way Nick had described him ending up. To keep his mind off of the future Nick had talked about he'd been, as he had been so long ago, singing some Hawaiian tunes as he worked on 628. Well, he HAD been singing…but now he had to have a steady hand and a clear mind.

"Add two tablespoons genetic material aaand…"

The fat genius slowly dropped two drops of light orange/pink liquid into the beaker.

FLASH! BOOOOOM!

It exploded. Jumba was covered in soot and the beakers were shattered. A nice explosion pattern had been left behind, as well as an eyeglass that had been popped out from the explosion. But Jumba laughed.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Have perfected evil genius boom-boom liquid for saliva of new experiment, heh-heh-heh!" He turned around, hand to mouth, calling out. "Pleakley, come look! Pleak-"

He stopped, realizing he was alone. But the echo from the laboratory reminded him over and over of this fact.

"Am forgetting…" He said, slapping his forehead. "Am alone now. No Pleakley, just…Jumba…" He sighed, then realized he was talking to himself AGAIN. "Shh! Who are you talking to! Shh!" He turned to his right. "Stop that!" He turned to his left. "Shh! SHHH! Stop that! Geez, am…am losing it! Uhhh…"

He looked around the lab, not quite sure what it was that he was looking for, then finally closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes and looked to the right…

There was Lilo's gift…the CD she and Nick had made.

Without a sound, Jumba picked it up gently and walked over to his multi-purpose music player. He brushed aside some beakers and a pink book on physics and a test tube for good measure, and put the CD in. Elvis's smooth, unforgettable voice came on.

"I'd like to sing a song that's…probably the saddest song I've ever heard." He told his crowd. And then the music began to play…

**BGM: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry, by Elvis Presley**

Jumba sat down, holding his head up with one hand, listening carefully to the song, not even moving an inch from the seat.

_Heaaar…that loooonesome whiiiiporwill…he sooounds too bluuue…to fly…_

Lilo sat up in her bed in her room, going to the logbook. She opened it up, and began looking through it, slowly turning the pages.

_The miiiidnight train…is whiiining low. I'm so looonesooome I…could cryyy…_

Stitch entered his large bedroom, head hung low, slowly making his way to his huge red bed with two pillows. The door shut behind him and he sighed, getting into the bed.

_Did you eeeeverrr seeee…a rooooobin weep…when leaves begaaan…to diiieee?_

Pleakley took his professor's hat off in his office, one eye blinking, sadly staring out at the stars. He reached behind him, into his drawer, and pulled out his old brown wig, putting it on. A sad smile creeped onto his face.

_That meaaans he's looost…the wiiill to live…I'm so looonesome I…could cryyy…_

Nick sat alone in the waiting room, slumped, one hand fingering the mood necklace. It had turned black. He noticed that his watch was playing an Elvis tune, a sad, unhappy melody. He looked up at the ceiling and didn't look down.

Meanwhile, Lilo looked through the book, one experiment after another. She sighed. How she missed the old days…

_The siiilence ooofff…a faaaalling star…lights uuuupp…a puuurrrple skyyy…_

Stitch lay in bed. He sat up, looking at the tiki Lilo had given him as he held it gently in his hands…

_And aasss I wonderrr wheeeere you aaare…I'm so loooonesome I…could cryyyy…_

Pleakley stared intently at the rock in his hands…and Nick finally looked down at his feet, bending over and covering his face, as he felt himself being pulled down into a dark pit inside him…

_I'm so loooonesome I…could cryyyy…_

(Music ends.)

Lilo shut the book, a single tear falling down her face, as Jumba took the CD out, holding it up and looking at it, unsure of what to think…only feeling…so very sad…

"…perhaps other side is…less depressing." He said hopefully.

But just when he was about to put it in and press the "Play" button…

"Jumbaaa!"

Jumba stiffened up and whirled around to face…

"Dr. Hamsterviel!" He cried out. Hamsterviel smiled. "I see I have found you recollecting misty musical recollections. Heh…so good to see you!"

Jumba quickly pressed a button behind his back that made the experiment creation capsule sink into the console. A sunflower in a vase sprung up in its place. "Why are you no longer on asteroid of inescapable prison?" Jumba demanded to know. Hamsterviel growled "No prison can hold me!...uh…I mean…" He changed his tune and gave Jumba his sweetest suck-up smile. "I am fully reformed! Out on parole and everything!"

"Oh REALLY?" Jumba thought. "What are you doing HERE, Ru-I mean, doctor?" He wanted to know. "I heard you were opening up the old shop! So I am thinking…" The furry alien hopped up onto the console and picked off a leaf from the sunflower. "Maybe we could work together again?" He popped it in his mouth.

"…no." Jumba said simply.

"Aw, come on!" Hamsterviel sighed. "Remember the old days?" He said nostalgically. "You creating experiments, me funding them with my shady business deals?"

"Rupert told you to stop meeting with Rahry…" Jumba told him sternly. For a moment Hamsterviel's eyes suddenly widened, and he stood there, mouth open slightly, unsure of what he wanted to say. Jumba went on. "And no."

"Aw, come _on_!" Hamsterviel continued. He walked over to the wall over to a clipboard filled with various newspaper articles, including a "Wanted" poster of Jumba.

"Remember? Graduating from E.G.U together, at the top of our class?" He gestured towards a picture of Jumba, Rupert and Jacques in a graduation shot. All three of them were dressed in blue, or in Jacques's case black, graduation robes, wearing hats to match. Jumba was giving a big thumbs up, holding his diploma. Jacques was giddily mooning the camera, and Rupert was sliding down the banister of the steps they were at, going "wheeee" holding his diploma in one hand.

Jumba scoffed and crossed his arms. "Hmph!"

"What about our first business together?" Now he pointed at a picture of the opening of a joke shop, entitled "Joke's on You". The shop was quite the front, an excuse for Jumba and Jacques to work on evil things while passing them off as pranks. Rupert mostly just ran the cashier and sometimes the store while they did all the building. Or rather, Jumba did most of the building and Jacques funded the store with MORE business deals. And of course, Rupert always ran the cashier and helped people out with finding good pranking items. He was very good at pranks himself, even better than Jumba and Jacques. So he became their official go-to guy if a new idea was being passed around. In the photo, Rupert was beaming at the camera, Jumba was waving, and Jacques was mooning. AGAIN.

Jumba scoffed again, making a "so what" gesture with his hand, flicking it at Hamsterviel. "Heh-hmmphf."

Then Hamsterviel pointed to the last photo. It was the front page of a newspaper, with the title "IDIOT SCIENTISTS ACTUALLY CREATE SOMETHING!" There was a small picture of their first experiment. "What about our first experiment? Do you remember Shrink?" Shrink was a small purple experiment with a white lower jaw and chest, who stood on three legs and had small, stubby arms. He also had cat-tail like ears with two rings on them. In the other picture, the bigger picture of the article, Jumba and Rupert were being mooned by a HUGE Jacques, who, no doubt, was giddy with joy.

Jumba walked over to Hamsterviel. He had gone too far and had dealt a low blow. "25 years of partnership, and you did nothing but _cheat_ Jumba, _embarrass _Jumba, _steal_ from Jumba, and finally _FINK_ on Jumba to Galactic Federation!" With every single injury that Hamsterviel had done, Jumba poked the alien in the stomach. "For YOU, would not create piece of DRY TOAST!" He shouted, swiping his arms to both sides in the "No-way" gesture.

Hamsterviel's smile vanished. His eyes narrowed. "Very well, then." He said quietly. "You leave me no choice but to forcibly force you to make a new experiment…by FORCE!" He screeched the last part very loudly.

Silence. Nothing happened.

"By FORCE! By FORCE!" Hamsterviel shouted, shaking his fist in the air. "That was your _cue_, you stupid, stupid person you!"

"Sorry." Gantu said, stepping into the lab, armed with his plasma pistol. Jumba groaned as Gantu pressed the pistol against his head.

"Now, I will explain this only once and oh-so-patiently." Hamsterviel told him, walking over to the main console in the center of the room. "I want to you to make me a new experiment, one better than 626 or 627. Make him with **EXTRA** destructive qualities, and, but, uh, go easy on the fluffy! And I do NOT like BLUE!"

"You used to." Jumba and Gantu both said quietly.

"Shut UP!" Hamsterviel snapped. "I _don't-like-blue_. Make him resplendent red to match my cape…and make him to **go**!" He finished, pointing up dramatically into the air.

"Jumba makes genius experiments, not fast food." Jumba complained angrily, folding his arms. "Would take years to simply make design!"

Hamsterviel laughed nastily. "Oh _really_? Well…what about…**this** one?" He jumped on the button Jumba had pressed earlier, and the experiment-in-creation popped up. Jumba groaned and slapped his forehead. "**Darn it**! Keep forgetting I gave you so many tours of evil genius lab!"

"I know. Aren't I _evil_?" Hamsterviel snickered. "I can read you like a book, Jumba. Now get to work on experiment 628, remove any sort of "good" in him, or I will have Gantu splatter your guts across the wall!"

**And so the drama continues! Nobody is really happy with their new settings, Hamsterviel's master plan is, for once, going off without a hitch, and to top it all off, nobody seems able to stop him! And seriously, what IS up with 627? His condition is still quite unknown! (Although Dragonborn had a good guess.) Read and review! **


	61. And They Call Him

**CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE**

AND THEY CALL HIM…

Page, Crystallene, Sparky, Gunner, Heartwing and Nightwing were sitting at the beach with Scratch, trying to console a grieving Angel. The entire conversation took place in Galactic, with some Tantalog thrown in for good measure.

"He was my everythiiiing!" Angel cried. Scratch, who was there with Carmen, patted her on the shoulder. "There, there, its okay, it's okay."

"No it's not! I…I don't know what I'm going to do without my boojibu!"

Sparky grinned and brushed some imaginary hair back. "You can always…have ME anytime you-"

He didn't get to finish that thought because Nightwing kicked him in the groin. He fell to the ground, groaning horribly. Heartwing held up a hand and Nightwing gave him a high five. "Now THAT felt good." He told his white cousin. "Mmm-hmm!" Heartwing agreed.

Carmen tried to cheer Angel up. "Look babe, there are plenty of other fish in da sea! You gotta cheer up!" She told Angel in her usual warm, comforting Latin accent.

Angel sniffled. Carmen shook her maracas. "Come on! Turn that frown right upside down, esse!" She began to do a dance, but Angel wouldn't even look up. Carmen stopped, sighing. "Well, look, maybe you oughta go see Lilo. She's hurting too, y'know."

Angel blinked. "You…you're right! Maybe Lilo can help me." She jumped off the sand she was sitting on. "Come on, let's go to Lilo's house." She told them all, and they all headed out.

Nobody stopped to wonder where 627 was…

AT GALACTIC ALLIANCE COMMUNITY COLLEGE…

Pleakley's eye went back and forth, back and forth. From Jumba to the phone, from Jumba to the phone.

Jumba. Phone. Jumba. Phone. Jumba. Phone.

Finally he could take no more. "Oh, please be there." He prayed as he grabbed the phone and dialed.

In Jumba's lab, Hamsterviel anxiously tapped on the floor. "Is it finished?" He kept asking. "Is it finished?" "Do not be rushing evil genius!" Jumba complained. "This kind of work takes time!"

Riiiiing! R-r-r-riiiing!

"Oh…who could THAT be?" Jumba wondered. Hamsterviel jumped next to the phone as it rang again. He thought quickly. "Answer it." He hissed. "But none of your not-so-funny funny business!"

Jumba picked up the phone. "Uh…hello? Galaxy Defense Industries, where DNA stands for "Do Not Ask"! This is Jumba speaking."

"Jumba!" Pleakley cried out happily.

"Pleakley!" Jumba shouted. "Is…" He looked over at Hamsterviel, whose eyebrow was raised. "Eh…is bad time."

"I'm sorry; it's just, well…I just miss you so much!" He blurted out. But he composed himself again and went on. "I mean, um…happen to be in your quadrant! So I thought, "Hey, maybe I'd drop by"!"

But Hamsterviel had heard it. It had been said before and would be said by many other people…the ears were NOT for decoration.

"Enough." Hamsterivel hissed. "Hang up!" He demanded nastily. Jumba nodded sadly and went back to the phone. "No." He said stonily. Pleakley's eye went wide. "What? "No"? But…don't you miss your…Aunt Pleakley?" "NO!" Jumba shouted.

"I'm wearing the wiiiig!" Pleakley sang out.

Jumba almost laughed, but suppressed it, hard. "Nuh-no! Not coming by, never coming by! Never wanting seeing you again!" He shouted.

"Oh yeah?" Pleakley snapped into the phone. "Well…me neither! What I meant when I said "I miss you so much and can I visit?" was really "I don't miss you at all, and I never ever never wanna see ever again EITHER!" And with that Pleakley slammed the phone down on the table so hard it actually cracked a little as it shut off. Pleakley sank back into his chair, despondent…before finally crying and slamming his head on the table as he sobbed.

Jumba growled and threw the phone against the wall so hard it shattered. Hamsterviel stared into Jumba's eyes as the big alien turned on him, hands looking like they wanted to strangle the "dumb bunny". "Is truly EVIL! Making Jumba pretend to be mean to Pleakley!" He crossed his arms, glaring daggers with poison tips at his former "partner".

Hamsterviel gave him a calm look. "Oh, you wouldn't want him over here anyway, after all…" He sneered. "You wouldn't want me to have to…_hurt_ the little noodle man, would you? I cannot be held responsible for his irresponsible actions of irresponsibility."

Jumba growled, wanting to throttle the little rodent. Hamsterviel ignored this and snapped "Just finish my experiment!" "_**Hmmph**_!" Jumba grunted, getting back to work.

Back at the Galactic HQ…

"Hey kid, we're almost ready!" The scientists shouted. "Only a few more minutes!"

Nick grunted. "Whatever." The scientists shrugged and went back to work. Nick groaned and looked at his watch.

"Man, I wish…I wish Lilo and the others were here, I'd…I'd like to say goodbye to them for REAL, not…not the way I did before…this just…I should be HAPPY! I mean, I've had a great adventure, I've made so many friends, I…I got a girlfriend, was accepted into a family, I…I was really happy. And they don't need me around anymore, and my family back in the Real World does." He thought about them. "I…I don't GET IT!" He shouted, standing up and kicked the floor. "Darn it! Why don't I miss them? The way I should! Why don't I feel so good?!? Why-why-why-why-WHYYYY?"

He turned and began pacing. "I mean, didn't I do everything I could have done, all the things I should have done? I saved the future, saved the island **and** the world time and time over, helped out my new family and friends…got cool powers and this watch and…and…"

He stopped. His hand went up to his necklace. "And…this…necklace…"

Now he understood.

_But I love herrrr…_

_I can't leave. I love her. I…I love them all, and I want the aloha I give them to be a REAL one! I can't just leave like this! I've…I've gotta go back!  
_

PING! "Oh! It's ready! Hey kid, it's…"

Nick bolted past them and out the door. "See ya later, alligator! In a while, crocodile!"

"I'm a Banganoid, not a lizard!" An annoyed scientist shouted.

BACK AT JUMBA'S LABORATORY…

Jumba was adding the last bits and pieces to the experiment. "Putting final touches on…NOW." He said, pressing a button to start the final process of experiment creation. "This will reroute power of laboratory for experimental charging. Once THAT is done, experiment will be ready to go. Is cause for celebration!"

Jumba put on the CD on it's other side. Music began to play.

_Aloha e aloha e!  
__'Ano 'ai ke aloha e…  
Aloha ae aloha e!  
__A nu ay ki aloha e… _

_There's no place I'd rather be…  
Then on my surfboard out at sea!  
Lingering in the ocean blue…  
And If I had one wish come true…  
I'd surf till the sun sets  
Beyond the horizon!_

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi  
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

_  
Flyin by on the Hawaiian roller coaster ride!_

"I LOVE this song!" Gantu said, tapping his foot and singing some Hawaiian ditty that he'd heard at the beach. Hamsterviel's face warmed up. "Yeah, this is really…hey, wait a minute! Start the experimental charging already and stop singing!" Gantu stopped, groaning.

"Oh, fine, fine, fine…" Jumba groaned. "You should be grateful. This music will no doubt annoy experiment to no end. Is very evil, yes?" "Oh…you're right." Hamsterviel agreed, rubbing his hands and cackling. "More evil…is _good_, ah-heh-heh-heh…"

Jumba threw the switch which would activate the charging sequence as the music began to finish. Electricity flowed from the console to the generator. It began to hum madly. Lights of every color flashed, machinery hummed and whined, and a beam of light shot down from a ray at the top of the ceiling, at the experimental creation capsule below…

Electricity crashed all around the capsule. It began to glow with bright orange light, and then…

They saw it. It was a red, Stitch-like experiment that growled and licked the inside of the capsule menacingly, cackling all the while. It had bent antennae, spikes, four arms, was way less cute and fluffy, had yellow teeth, frilly ears and a nasty smile. Gantu gasped. It scratched the insides, clawing and tearing, growling.

Hamsterviel climbed on top, fawning over it. "Oh! He's so _beautiful_ in his ugly nastiness!" Hamsterviel sat up suddenly, getting an idea. "Ah! Perhaps I will mimic the little Earth girl and name you with your very own name!" He rubbed his chin. "Hmm…I had planned to call you _something_, what was it? Oh, I think I know! I shall call you…Spike!"

"Heh-heh." Gantu chuckled. "The girl already used that one."

Hamsterviel gave him a look. "All right then. Kixx!"

"Used it."

"Slugger?"

"Done."

"Cannonball?"

"He jumps in the water, makes _awesome_ waves!" Gantu replied. Hamsterviel groaned.

"Why not just call it 627?" Jumba suggested.

"Because this is experiment 62_8_. You already made 627." Gantu told him.

"I did? Oh…_right_." Jumba said. "Silly Jumba."

"Shut up!" Hamsterviel shouted. "_I_ am naming the names here!" He tapped his foot nervously as he rubbed his chin. "Hmm…"

Time passed. And then…

"Now I remember what I was going to call it! I cannot believe I forgot! Silly Jacques." He chuckled nervously. Then he hopped down and rubbed the glass. "You shall be called…" He swept his cape and made a dramatic, evil pose. "**Leroy**!"

Gantu and Jumba chuckled. Leroy blinked.

"What?!? It is a genius name! My experiment will be defeated by no thing and no one…" Hamsterviel told them smugly. "Not even…"

KABOOOOM!

They all turned to see Stitch burst into the lab, wielding two plasma pistols. "_Aloha_, gerbil boy." He growled.

For once, Hamsterviel ignored the "gerbil" insult and cackled. "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! This is all so perfect! A test for my new creation!" Jumba glared at Hamsterviel. "Hey! Is MY creation!"

"_Whatever_." Hamsterviel snapped. He jumped on the release button of the console, and the capsule whizzed off. Leroy growled.

"Leroy…destroy him!" Hamsterviel shouted, pointing at Stitch. Stitch tossed down the plasma guns and cracked his knuckles. Leroy sneered. "With pleasure." He said, his voice gruff, nasty, EVIL. He jumped off the console, rushing towards Stitch.

Stitch leapt on top of him and the two tumbled about the laboratory, snarling and growling. They rolled towards the far end and suddenly Leroy threw Stitch off. He hit the wall, groaning, falling down onto a switch. He got up and shook the dust out of his head and looked up.

Leroy was emerging through thick smoke released from a ventilator shaft. His yellow eyes glowed evilly and he snarled nastily. "I can't wait to tear you apart. Too bad I only get to do it ONCE." He laughed.

Stitch growled. "Naga that tough!" His extra arms burst through his outfit. As Leroy jumped at him, he managed to jump up just in time. Leroy was now stuck in a huge hulk of machinery, end sticking out, legs kicking at the air as he snarled and spat.

Stitch pointed and laughed as he crawled on top of a huge generator. Jumba groaned. "What are you finding so ha-ha-funny? Not having insurance!" Hamsterviel bounded up and down. "Get him, Leroy! Get him!"

Leroy wrenched himself out of the machinery, snarling, body sparkling with electricity. He leapt at Stitch, who leapt up away, higher onto a different generator. Leroy growled and leapt up to a nearby catwalk, wrenching a rod from a metal banister free and twirling it around like a staff. He growled and leapt up at Stitch, who jumped off, grabbing two from another catwalk below and jumping up to meet his foe.

But Leroy sent him flying with a single strike. Stitch flew back onto a huge metal pipe, sliding across it. He reached out with his claws and slowed his descent, finally flipping up and landing deftly on top of the pipe, rods at the ready. Leroy jumped onto the pipe and the two began a fierce battle with their rods, striking left, right, up down, dodging this way and that.

"You're…going…down!" Stitch snarled in Galactic.

"You wish…you stupid…little fool!"

Jumba made punching motions with his arms. "Go-go! Left! Right! No, no, uppercut! Slice him now! Watching out, he's going for arm! Oh, doing Matrix-pole thing! Impressive! Go baby, goooo!"

Hamsterviel was pumped too. "Ooh, this is better than pay-per-view! More to the right! Ooh, he's weak on the left-no, right, now left, now-oh just SMASH that thing! All right, go for it, Leroy!"

Now the two were fighting upside down on the pipe, rods clashing madly. Suddenly Leroy swung hard and one of Stitch's rods went flying away. He jumped back onto the main charger ray and Leroy leapt after him, but the moment the red experiment landed, Stitch whacked HIS rod out of his hands. But then Leroy grabbed the tiki Stitch had around his neck.

"Nice little necklace. Think I'll **take** it!"

Stitch snarled with utter fury "DON'T YOU _DARE_ **TOUCH THAT**!!!" and knocked his hand away, jumping off. Leroy jumped down too, and took up a battle pose. Stitch looked around. Hmm…what could he use?

DUH! He lifted the main console up from the floor, much to Jumba's horror, and flung it at Leroy. It hit with a huge crash, and Leroy staggered around, groaning. Jumba covered his eyes. "Cannot watch!" He groaned.

Stitch rushed at his evil cousin, but this time it was Leroy who got the upper hand. A large gas pipe was hanging down. Leroy sliced it open and burning gas came out, blasting Stitch away, his outfit, already tattered, fading due to the gas. He hit the wall, growling. Then our hero noticed he was right next to an air vent…

He wrenched it open, laughing. A vacuum effect occurred, pulling a protesting Leroy towards it. "No! No! Argh! Crap-crap-crap!" He snarled, trying to hold onto a nearby banister. But this proved futile. He was sucked towards it, right in through the vent.

BRRRRZZZ!

"_**YEOOOOOWWWW**_!"

Leroy flew out the other side, as completely naked and pink as a baby. He had been totally sheared of fur. Gantu sniggered. Jumba laughed so hard his knees buckled, and even Hamsterviel felt a chuckle rise.

Stitch laughed madly, but Leroy was angry. He growled and clenched his fists, and in a few moments of concentration his fur popped back. Then he noticed the two pistols Stitch had left discarded. He quickly jumped on them, then jumped onto a console, brandishing them, sneering. "**NOW** who's laughing?" He asked Stitch, firing off blast after blast. Stitch was hit by one and fell down, but Leroy wasn't finished. He fired over and over and over at Stitch…

But Stitch grabbed the next blast, and the next one and the next, until finally he'd gathered enough. He flung it at Leroy…

KABLAAAM!

The console exploded. There was nothing but rubble. Jumba, Gantu and Hamsterviel gasped. Stitch slowly made his way towards the rubble. Surely he'd won!

Then that red hand burst through, followed by the rest of Leroy.

"Oh boy." Stitch gulped.

"It'll take more than that to beat me, you stupid little fool." Leroy told him. "I'm better than you in every way. It's time you GOT THAT!"

He jumped on Stitch and the two rolled around on the ground. Suddenly Leroy slammed into some rubble on the ground. Stitch pinned his cousin down hard with three of his hands, raising his right hand up high to end the threat Leroy posed forever. Hamsterviel and Gantu gasped. Jumba closed his eyes.

Stitch sighed sadly. "I wish I didn't have to do this to a cousin…" His eyes became filled with a grim purpose. "But you're an abomination." He told Leroy. "I can't let you hurt the people I care about!"

Ding-dong! The doorbell rang. Stitch looked up. "_Huh_?"

"Is this a bad time?" Pleakley announced, walking in dressed in his best uniform. Gantu rolled his eyes. Jumba slapped his forehead. Hamsterviel blinked slowly.

"Ooh, this is good stuff! Better than watching those special movies from that bookstore!" 627 sniggered. They then all saw 627 had been hiding in a vent shaft all this time, watching everything. Suddenly it fell to the ground with a "KABANG!" and everyone winced. Pleakley stepped forward. "Uh, what's going on?"

Stitch's eyes went wide, but before he could yell out a warning, Leroy suddenly smacked him across the room, and he went sailing…right…into…a containment capsule. Which snapped shut. He scratched uselessly at the insides as Hamsterviel and Leroy laughed madly. Pleakley gulped. "Oh dear…"

Jumba looked at 627. "627, thanking goodness you are here! Help your cousin break free!"

627 looked from Stitch to Leroy, tapping his foot, lower set of hands on his hips while his higher, left hand rubbed his chin. "Mmm…"

Then he shook his head, grinning cruelly. "…_naaaah_. You really should have made me more loyal to you." 627 told Jumba, with an evil, foul smirk. "I thought you were supposed to be an "evil genius", but in case you haven't learned by now, I'm one of the **bad** guys…you big dummy. I'm E-Vile, and I'm **evil**. Heh-heh. Evil…evil, evil, evil, evil…"

Jumba gulped. "Oh, blitznack." He groaned as E-Vile advanced menacingly towards Pleakley and Jumba, flexing his claws as they were extended to a frighteningly long and cruel level. He continued to chant "evil-evil-evil" over and over, eyes becoming feral…

FIFTEEN MINUTES AND TWO SETS OF HANDCUFFS LATER…

"I just wanted to make up…" Pleakley said apologetically to Jumba as the two sat next to a furious, squirming-around Stitch. Both Pleakley and Jumba were handcuffed and unable to escape, AND they'd punched in the gut, kicked while on their sides, and had their clothing and skin torn violently by E-Vile. Luckily the wounds would heal…if they survived what was about to happen next.

"Appreciating gesture. But next time…send flowers." Jumba told Pleakley, trying not to be angry.

E-Vile was standing by Gantu, grinning nastily as he licked blood off of his claws. His eyes shone with malevolent light, but weren't as wild as they were before. What shone forth was "controlled" sadism.

"_Boy_, it feels nice being part of a big, master plan once again…a part of serious action." He said. "Just like old times, huh Gantu? E-Vile is back in business!" He asked, looking up at Gantu, who just blinked stonily. Hamsterviel laughed. "There won't BE a next time for you, Jumba! You see my old friend, now that I have proven that Leroy to be an invincible fighting machine-"

"_Leroy_?" Pleakley asked, laughing. "You did NOT name it that! You did _NOT _name it that?!? Ha-ha-ha!"

Hamsterviel glared at him angrily and put his hands on his hips. When Pleakley had finished laughing he then went on. "I shall proceed with the next phase of my oh-so-clever plan…"

He gestured towards one of Jumba's machines. "Creating an army of Leroy CLONES!"

"Oh dear." Pleakley and Jumba said. Leroy got inside of a copy capsule as Hamsterviel jumped onto the "copy" button of the machine. On the other end of the machine was another capsule which was attached to a conveyor belt for sending out clones. And in the middle, between the capsules, was the DNA replicator/console of the machine. Hamsterviel jumped on the copy button over and over, cackling madly, as clone after clone was conked out.

Pleakley and Jumba looked at each other, gasping in horror. Stitch groaned. "Naga bootifa." He said. "Not cool indeed." Jumba agreed. All they could do was watch as a little counter display read off the number of clones made.

Now making: 15…16…17…18…

"This…this is not good." Jumba said. "No, is not good at all."

74…75…76…77…

Gantu simply blinked and stared, arms folded, long past being unnerved by all of this. E-Vile tapped the floor with one foot, impatiently wanting some more action.

149…150…151…152…

Eventually Hamsterviel turned to Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley.

"And now…" He said softly, in a dangerous tone, "To dispose of you three meddling meddlers, heh-heh-heh…"

"Ohhh dear." Pleakley groaned.

Pretty soon all three of them were locked inside of the G.A.C.C carpool van that Pleakley had used to arrive at Jumba's lab. Jumba and Pleakley struggled uselessly in their bonds while Stitch banged his head against the capsule and clawed at it madly. The original Leroy watched on, leisurely eating an apple that he'd skinned using only one claw. (And he'd done it in one go, a very nice touch.) E-Vile was standing next to Gantu as well, sneering at them.

Hamsterviel was held up by Gantu to face the three of them. "Ah hem. I've oh-so-cleverly reprogrammed the vehicle…"

"Did you fix the radio? All it plays is some polka from Planet Olsti ." Pleakley asked.

"…hold on." Hamsterviel groaned. He jumped back inside. "Get me the wrench and that screwdriver from the laboratory." He demanded of Gantu.

FIFTEEN MINUTES AND SOME ELBOW GREASE LATER…

"There. All fixed."

"Well gee, why did you do that?" E-Vile asked. Leroy raised an eyebrow. "Yes, why?"

Hamsterviel gave them a look. "I'm _evil_, but I'm not _inconsiderate_. Geez! Anyway, besides the radio, I have reprogrammed your little college vehicle to head for the coordinates 12-21-9-7-9."

Jumba's eyes widened. "The-the Xenon black hole!" He gasped. "We can't fly into a black hole!" Pleakley complained. "I have to get the van back to the college by 6:00…"

Leroy had had enough. He slammed the door and snickered. "Well, then it looks like you'll be late by about…FOREVER! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" The "forever" echoed through space, adding to the finality of the word.

Hamsterviel blinked. "Hey…I was going to say that!" He complained. Leroy shrugged.

Hamsterviel sighed. "Sorry about this." He told Jumba through the open window. "I'd rather not have to do this to an old friend like you, Jumba, but I've done many things I thought I'd never do…one more won't hurt. And don't worry…" He smiled slightly, a smile that was both apologetic and yet sinister. "I won't go after your precious _ohana_ on Earth. No need to add insult to injury."

Leroy immediately flinched at the word "_Ohana_", growling. The van took off through space and Gantu, Hamsterviel, E-Vile and Leroy watched it fly off.

"Now then…Leroy, get yourself a black outfit. You've got a Big Red Battleship to command." Hamsterviel told him.

Sure enough, about five minutes later…

"Captain on this…floor?" The crew was surprised when Stitch, albeit a little bit haggard and rough-looking, crawled into the command deck. He hopped into the captain's plush, comfy seat, muttering something nasty about all of their mothers under his breath before entering new coordinates.

"What? Zero parsec?" An ensign read off. "But Captain, we're supposed to take the prisoner back to Asteroid K-37! Why are we setting a course for Planet Turo?"

"Stitch" suddenly bounded up, snarling in Galactic. "We're going to Galactic HQ and if you get in my way I'll **castrate** every single friggin one of you!" Only he didn't say "friggin". The crew gasped. One pointed an accusing finger. "YOU'RE not the captain!" She shouted.

Then, at that moment, Hamsterviel entered, riding on a pistol-wielding Gantu's shoulder, while E-Vile walked in as well, drooling and looking menacing. "He is nooowww." Hamsterviel crowed, laughing evilly as Leroy changed from blue to red, laughing even more loudly and evilly. The crew members gulped.

This was bad. Very bad.

AT LILO'S HOUSE, IN THE MORNING…

Nani was in the kitchen, busy making some breakfast. David was at work. Pleakley, Jumba, Nick and Stitch were in space…and Lilo was left alone on the couch. She jumped off, pacing around the floor. What to do, what to do…

Wait…she knew! She ran to the phone and dialed madly. It rang and rang and then…

"Hello, you've reached Cobra Bubbles."

"Cobra, I wanna call Stitch-" Lilo managed to get out.

"I'm unable to answer my phone at the moment. My current whereabouts: classified. Estimated time of return: classified. Have a nice day."

And with that Lilo hung up, sighing and hanging her head. She walked over to the couch and flopped down on it, with Scrump next to her.

Nani came into the living room. "Does Scrump want some breakfast?" She asked, holding up… "It's her favorite, cold pizza."

Lilo tossed a look at her favorite doll before slumping back on the couch. "She's not hungry." She said depressingly. She's worried about Stitch."

Nani knelt down next to Lilo, putting the pizza down as well. "Aww, Stitch can take care of himself. He's indestructible, remember?"

"And Pleakley, Jumba and…and Nick. She's worried about them too."

"Pleakley and Jumba are at places they've always wanted to be, and Nick…well, he really should go back to his world. I'm sure he's missed his family and his friends."

Lilo sighed. "I told Scrump that, but…she gets feelings sometimes. She thinks something's wrong. That's why I've been trying to get in touch with Stitch and the others."

At that moment Angel and the others came in. "Lilo, we want to talk to Stitch." Scratch asked her. "Do you have Cobra's number?"

"He's not answering." She said. "Probably out saving the world or something."

Angel groaned. Carmen rolled her eyes. "Well…it wouldn't work out anyway, babes." She drawled. "We need onea those galactic communicator to get in touch with those guys, and we ain't got one here, no, not anymore. The only ones who HAD one were Jumba and Pleakley, and they've gone off to be livin' la vida loca, I'll bet. Anda course Rueben and Gantu used to-"

Lilo's eyes widened. "That's IT!" She jumped off the couch and hugged Carmen. "You're a _genius_!" Carmen blinked slowly. "I am? Gee…wow." She smiled embarrassingly, cheeks turning red. "Uh…_mahalo_, esse!" Lilo turned to Nani. "Quick! Where's the peanut butter?" "For breakfast?" Nani asked. Lilo shook her head. "I've got a _plan_…"

In a matter of minutes, all of them were heading for Gantu's ship. The ramp was down and the ship was open to all. Lilo walked in, a paper bag in hand, as the others followed behind. "Hello?" Lilo called out. "Rueben?"

Inside the ship, Rueben was surrounded by stacks and stacks of sandwiches. Seventy six roast beefs led the far left pile, with 110 ham and cheeses by its side. There were 1000 dishes of chicken and some fishes and there were rolls of every shape and size!

And at the moment, Rueben was hard at work spreading some mayo onto a sandwich that was about as high as HE was, ranting to himself. "Hmmph. Gantu schmantu. Who needs 'em?!? Didn't even like my egg salad! "Too much much mayonnaise, not enough dill weed"! And he called me a "trog"! Pfft! The sheer noive. What a mor-oon."

"Uh…hello? Lilo called out. Rueben turned and looked at her. "Sorry, we're not open." He told her. "Not yet, anyhoo."

"Open?" Crystallene asked. Rueben smiled proudly. "I'm turnin' this here dump into the best sandwich shop on the island!"

"Where's Gantu?"

"He left." Rueben said stonily as he cut up a large kielbasa. "BUT I'm naming a sandwich after him. Callin' it the open-faced double decker blubber butt sandwich." "Ew." Crystallene said, making a face.

"I'm uh…not gonna ask what's in it." Lilo said. "But uh…I brought you something." She placed the bag next to him. He opened it up. "Oh, a…a peanut butter sandwich, that's…that's really sweet. Gee, I…" He smiled broadly at her. "I could count the number of people who were this nice to me on one hand, heh-heh. Wait…" His eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"

"Well…we wanted to know if we could use your intergalactic communicator." Lilo requested. Rueben shrugged. "Well, the videophone's broken. But I do know how to fix it."

"Will you?"

"Why should I?" He asked her. "I'm a busy experiment. Got a sandwich shop to build up and everythin'. Besides, Gantu's the only one who'd call here…and I'm NOT answering. From now on, I'm goin' back to looking out for numero uno, myself, experiment 625." He said, raising a hand.

"Rueben, we're sorry if Gantu hurt your feelings." Angel said. "And…I'm sorry if _I_ hurt your feelings when…"

Rueben turned around. "Don't wanna hear it."

Scratch spoke up. "Look, because Angel left me for you, I let myself get consumed by revenge, hurt a lot of innocent people, and, according to Nick, killed Lilo in the future. And that was just me. You ended up betraying the resistance and blowing yourself up in a final act of repentance."

Rueben nodded. "True, true…so what?"

"Do you really want to become another _me_?" Scratch asked. "It does not do anyone any good to hate." Nightwing said. "So come _on_." Crystallene begged. "Yeah, help a brother out." Sparky asked. "Come on, mate, we NEED ya." Gunner told him. "We beseech you." Page pleaded. "Pretty please?" Angel said, giving him a tug on the arm. "With fruit on top, babe?" Carmen added.

He hesitated. "Pretty please with sugar on top and salami on the side?" Lilo added, giving him the biggest "Bambi eyes" impression he'd ever seen.

Rueben rubbed his chin. "Hmm…well…you DID give me a name…and I guess I AM your cousin…and I owe Jumba for what he did a couple months ago…aw, what the heck! You're family. I'll help." "All right!" Lilo shouted, jumping in the air. "Woohoo!" The cousins all jumped up and down, celebrating. "Well, let's get started." Angel said. "Welcome to the family for real, Rueben." Lilo said, putting her arm around his shoulder.

"So uh…does this mean I'm really part of your _ohana_? _Aloha_ and all that stuff?"

"Yep!"

"Coooool."

Heartwing walked over to him, putting his hands on Rueben's sides. "You'll…need this." He told Rueben.

They glowed brightly for a moment, and then…

"My…my arms…the ones Jumba barely put back those months ago, they're…they're not hurtin' anymore!" Rueben gasped.

Heartwing put his hand on Rueben's shoulder and beamed. "Welcome gift." Rueben rubbed some tears from his eyes. "Well…gee…thanks…cuz. So come on, everyone…let's hop to it!"

And so the reconstruction began! The cousins all went to work, repairing the videophone. Crystallene, Page, and Sparky worked on getting the generator for the power source set up. Sparky had been attached to it, and was all ready to power the generator so that it could in turn power the videophone. Crystallene was underneath the generator. She crawled out and turned to Page.

"Screwdriver."

SLAP! "Screwdriver."

"Big honkin laser cutter."

SLAP! "Big honkin' laser cutter."

Crystallene crawled back out. "Sandwich. Tuna on rye."

MMFPHF! Page stuck a sandwich in her mouth. "Chow on down."

Carmen and Scratch were hard at work replacing the broken screen of the videophone. Scratch was about to pick it up by Carmen insisted she could do it, putting down her maracas. Around that time Gunner, who was making some drinks along with Heartwing and Nightwing for all of them to enjoy while they worked, decided to make the comment he did that soon revealed something VERY interesting.

"Hey, I know why you fell for Carmen here." He sniggered. Everyone stopped working and looked at the threesome of Gunner, Scratch and Carmen. Carmen's eyes were narrowed.

"You-"

"Fell in love with her because she looks like Angel."

"Yeah, that's-"

"Right."

"Hey, quit-"

"It."

"Stop-"

"It right now."

"You are so-"

"Annoying."

"You're a…"

"No I'm not."

"You're not supposed to say that!" Gunner growled, bounding up and down.

Scratch raised an eyebrow. "Say what?"

"I'm an idiot." Gunner shouted. "You sure are." Scratch told him. "ARRRRGGGHHHH!!!" Gunner screamed. "You stupid mind-reading loser! You just went for Carmen cuz she looks like Angel! What's next? Cutting her fruit into long antennas while she sleeps?"

Scratch suddenly smiled nastily. "Actually, Carmen can do something Angel can't. She may not have prehensile limb antennas or martial arts skills or a soft Scottish accent…"

"So she can't even fight. She's a wannabe wussy."

"But it's still a neat little trick."

"Oh REALLY? And what would that be?" Gunner asked, aggravated.

Carmen suddenly snarled and hunched over. In seconds she had grown so tall she hit the ceiling. She grew sharp, deadly claws, fangs and talons on her feet, her muscles bulged up, and the fruit became huge as well. She grinned and looked nastily down at Gunner as everyone else, save for Scratch, gasped.

"STiLl ThInK i CaN't FiGhT, _bEnDeHo_?!?" She snarled.

Gunner blinked slowly. "…no." He squeaked.

"GoOd!" She snickered. And then she picked up the broken screen and tossed it in the trash. "See, told you I could do it." She told Scratch. And then she reverted with a WHOOMP back to her normal self, giggling slightly and covering her mouth a bit. Scratch kissed her on the cheek.

"Ewwwww. Love." Nightwing groaned. Moving right along, our little troupe continued to work on reconstructing the videophone. Eventually…

"Okay, let's get it plugged in." Rueben said. He had created a conductor machine for the generator…involving pickles stuck into the power sockets. He put in an empty soda bottle into another socket, which would indicate how much power was going through the video phone based on the shine of the electricity that would be given to the videophone.

Lilo looked skeptical. "Uh…you sure this is gonna work?" She asked Rueben, who smiled confidently. "You'd be AMAZED." He told her. "Pickle juice is a _great_ conductor." He turned to Sparky. "Start it up, Sparky!"

ZZZZT! Sparky gave the generator full power. The power flowed from him to the generator to the conductor to the videophone, and in a few moments…

Beep-beep! Ping ping! It let out a low buzzing noise as the screen came to life, a shimmering blue with a ring of darker blue around it. The videophone was working.

"You may thank me later." Rueben said to them all. "I'll thank you now." Lilo said, hugging him happily. "_Mahalo _plenty, Rueben." Rueben chuckled. "Uh, heh-heh…no problem, Lilo." He said, smiling. "Now…you've got a call to make."

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!  
**_Experiment 628, Leroy_

In a possible future, he was evil incarnate. He still is. He's cruel, mean, nasty and disgusting. Plus he smells funny. I'm serious! He smells like something that went inside your ceiling and died, you know what I mean? He's also somewhat of a borderline sociopath…okay, he practically IS a sociopath. Plus he's stronger than Stitch, and Nick barely managed to beat him. And now there are _clones_ of him! That's bad. **VERY** bad.

_Experiment 123, Carmen_

Carmen is a sexy female experiment whom Angel's design was based off of. Her dancing skills are hypnotic and capable of inciting huge masses of people into joining in. Eventually the people can't dance anymore and drop, sometimes dead. She speaks Spanish AND English, and has the ability to morph into a mutated form. Has a tendency to swear in Spanish and a "history"…

**Author's note:**

**With the communications up and running, our heroes now are ready to call up Stitch...but it they don't know they're too late. And how will Nick get back to Earth? What's going to happen with Leroy, Gantu, E-Vile AKA 627 and Hamsterviel? Read and review!**

**As a side note, Carmen's "history" won't be revealed in this story, but in a different one. She's quite a complex character, that one, like Page and Scratch _and_ 627, who now seems to be firmly on the "evil" side. Still, what IS his deal? Dragonborn's come close, but he's not quite got it...**


	62. Aloha Oe, Pt1

**CHAPTER SIXTY**

ALOHA OE, PT. 1

"Darn it! I need to get a ride to Earth! Are you gonna help me or not!?!"

Nick was desperately trying to get a ride back to Earth from Galactic HQ. Unfortunately, nobody was interested in helping him. They all had work to do and/or wasn't interested in going to a, as some people so ELOQUENTLY put it, "backwater hick water drop".

"Look kid…" an alien trucker sighed as he lifted some scraggly hair from his grey forehead. "There ain't no way or no how youse gonna git me to getcha to Earth. It's too far off fer me. And I's gots me a poker game in ten minutes." He was pretty skinny, and had large black eyes, a "Visitor-style" alien.

"PLEASE! I have to go to my one true love!"

The "Visitor" trucker blinked. "Yer…one true love?"

"Yes!" Nick told him. The trucker suddenly started crying. Nick blinked a few times. "Wh-what's wrong?" He asked him. "Muh-muh-my wife done left me all alone on Christmas day…done ran off with mah best friend!" The trucker sobbed. Nick patted him on the shoulder and led him towards a few chairs. "Hey, hey, I know what it's like to lose the one you care about. Hey, why not tell me everything? I've got some time."

"Well…sniff…Darlene was the greatest girl I ever done met…and the way she smiled…her hair…and the way she done buttered mah toast…"

BACK ON THE BRB-9000…

Leroy took a huge chunk out of the green drumstick of alien meat he was eating, a piece that was bigger than his head. Then he ripped the top open on a "Cosmic Cola" can and drained it's contents in a few messy gulps, spilling droplets everywhere. The crew was putting up with it, but signs of strain were evident. Especially when Leroy ripped all of the meat off of the drumstick in a single yank and tossed the bone, which bonked off the head of one of the ensigns, who groaned angrily.

Leroy snickered. Suddenly the communication lines began to beep on the ship.

"Incoming message from…E-arth…Earth, sir." One of the crew members politely said, resisting the urge to call Leroy something nasty. Leroy blinked a few times. "Hmm? Achoota." He snarled. "Who could THAT be?"

"It must be the little Earth girl, Lilo." Gantu told them. E-Vile nodded. "Yeah, it's probably that little brat and her friends. **HMPH**! "We'll wait for you". Why the friggin _nerve_…"

Hamsterviel rubbed his hands, snickering. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. My Leroy will easily dupe her tiny little brain. Quick, let's hide!" Hamsterviel jumped on top of Gantu's shoulder as Gantu reached for a newspaper and put it up in front of them both. It had the title "Hamsterviel Escapes!" with Hamsterviel and Gantu's picture on it. Hamsterviel was riding on Gantu's shoulder in the picture and both were scowling. E-Vile simply walked out of the room, going to the bathroom, muttering.

"Aw, I think you _blinked_." Leroy laughed. "Shut up and change! She's quite clever when she wants to be!" Hamsterviel told him from behind the newspaper. "And they weren't kidding when they say the camera adds ten pounds. All right, all right. Keep your tail on, dumb bunny." Leroy muttered.

He retraced his arms, concentrating hard, his fur swirling, changing from red to blue. He withdrew his antennae into his head and quickly stitched the broken spots where his arms had been on his uniform to look normal. Then he brushed his ears back, molding them slightly, ever so slightly, until…

"_Oooh_." He said, turning around. "I clean up pretty _good_, don't I?"

"…just answer it." Hamsterviel told him. Leroy rolled his eyes and pressed the button to open up the communication channels. The videophone crackled, and on screen came the picture of Lilo, with Rueben and experiments and the many stacks of sandwiches in the back.

"_Aloha_ Stitch!" Lilo said. "Stitch" blinked. "Stitch?" Lilo called again. "You sure the connection is working?" She asked, turning to Rueben. "Stitch" turned to Hamsterviel and Gantu. "Whadda I do?" He asked. "Say "ih"." Hamsterviel told him quickly.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh…ih." He roughly announced to Lilo. Lilo turned to Rueben again. "You SURE this thing is working right?"

"No, no! Cuter! Think "plush toy"!" Hamsterviel whispered harshly.

"Oh." Leroy said. He cleared his throat. "Ih. It's me. I'm fluffy!" He told her, giving her a big, toothy, grin. His voice was a little hoarse, but other than that, it was a good rip-off.

"That's him all right, see? He's _fine_." Rueben said. Scratch nodded. "He does _seem_ okay." "Hey boojibu!" Angel called out. "Stitch's" eyes flashed, but he smiled back. "Hey boojibu." "How are you doing?" She asked him. "Oketaka, babe." He told her. "I'm oketaka." He told them all.

Nightwing raised an eyebrow. Heartwing's eyes narrowed sharply. "…not…right…somehow." He told himself. Angel put her hands on her hips. There was something kind of odd about Stitch. "Stitch? Boojibu? Is everything all right?" "Ih!" He said. "All oketeka. Why naga?"

"Something's…off." Lilo thought, raising an eyebrow.

But what? But…

Then she realized the answer was right in front of her.

Or rather, NOT in front of her.

"Wait a minute!" Lilo realized out loud. "My tiki necklace!" She shouted, pointing at the videophone and at "Stitch's" neck. "He's not wearing it! _That's not Stitch_!!!"

"Stitch" blinked…then sneered. "You ARE clever." He complimented in his usual, rough voice.

"Hang up!" Hamsterviel whispered harshly. "Hang up!"

"Okay…bye-bye!" He told Lilo and the others tauntingly, whipping out a pistol and pointing it at the videophone. Lilo gasped. "Wait!" She shouted.

But Leroy waited for nobody. He shot. The videophone's screen exploded into pieces that fell all around the ship. Leroy snickered. Gantu blinked slowly. The crew groaned, picking bits of transparent aluminum out of their hair or in some case's skin.

"Ah." Hamsterviel said, putting his hands on his hips. "I think that went pretty well…don't you?" He asked.

"Actually, uh…I think that-" Gantu started to say. But Hamsterviel interrupted him.

"I don't care what you think!"

"Actually you DID." Gantu insisted, honestly insulted. "I-"

"I wasn't asking yoouuu! It was a rhetorical question! Don't you know what that even IS?!?"

"Yes sir, I believe it's-"

Hamsterviel bounded up and down and up and down. "No-no-no-no-no, you stupid person you! THAT was a rhetorical question too! ARGH!" He took in a deep breath and counted to ten out loud. Then he muttered "I shouldn't have to put up with this. I wish I was back with…with…"

Then he recomposed himself and jumped on top of the captain's seat, a evil grin on his face. "My genius plan is working _perfectly_. Prepare for hyperspace to Planet Turo, where I and my army of Leroys…"

Slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp…

Leroy was picking his nose with both his tongue and incredible gusto. Hamsterviel turned green for a moment. One of the crew puked on the floor. Finally Hamsterviel managed to squeak out "Quit picking your nose!" to him. He stopped, sitting upright. "Sorry." He muttered. "_Not_." He thought.

"Anyway, what was I saying?"

"We're going to hyperspace to Planet Turo to take over the Galactic Alliance." Leroy told him. Hamsterviel blinked. "Oh…right, right. Good, Leroy."

"Sir, I HAVE to point out a flaw in your plan. That little girl on Earth has an special talent of turning evil experiments from bad to good…AND she controls a force of over 600 of Jumba's genetic creations, remember?" Gantu interjected.

Leroy snarled. "She wouldn't get ME!" He growled at Gantu, who went on.

"They're a credible threat to your army, sir."

Hamsterviel looked up at Gantu, with an expression similar to that of a bunny waiting for a treat to be dropped down to him. He blinked a few times…then rubbed his chin.

"…you're right. Why the 600 series alone could jeopardize everything if that girl led them…then the experiments must be…_dealt_ with. I shall capture them all, take them to someplace big, abandoned and quiet…" He sneered. "**And wipe them all out**!" He threw his head back and laughed. Leroy joined in.

"NYA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"HA-HA-HA!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA!"

E-Vile walked in, blinking a few times. Then he jointed in.

"MWA-HA-HA!"

"HA-HA-HA!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"HA-HA-HA-I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE LAUGHING ABOUUUUT!"

They finally finished. Hamsterviel rubbed his chin again. "Clearly this is a job for my most trusted henchman…"

Gantu beamed and saluted. "Why THANK you sir! I won't fail you this time!" E-Vile kicked him in the leg. Gantu jumped up and down, rubbing it. "I'VE always been the most loyal and trusted!" E-Vile shouted.

Hamsterviel snorted. "You have been failing for about three years, about 625 times!" He shouted at Gantu. "You couldn't hold onto a _single experiment_!" E-Vile cackled madly, but suddenly stopped when Hamsterviel pointed right at him. "And YOU let yourself be beaten by a little girl and a BOY! So this time I shall send my NEW trusted henchman…**Leroy**!"

Leroy growled evilly. "Oh goody-goody…I _love_ being a chance to be bad…"

MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH…

"Guys! There's a fake Stitch driving that battleship! Do you know what this means?" Lilo shouted.

"Um…it's lunchtime?" Rueben guessed. Sparky said "I dunno" through a mouth of pastrami on rye with a pickle. The other experiments were also eating. "Can't figure out a plan of attack on an empty stomach." Scratch said.

"No, guys." Lilo told them, annoyed. "It means Stitch is in trouble, and so is the Planet Turo, the Galactic Alliance…where…Nick is…" Lilo gulped. "Oh dear…they're…they're all in trouble! And maybe the whole **GALAXY**!"

"So?" Rueben asked. "It ain't our problem. Let Jumba and Nick deal with it."

"Look, you're number 6-2-5." She told him. "You're the closet experiment to Stitch! You should have all of his powers!"

"But…well, I…I haven't used them in ages, and…I don't need 'em…" He mumbled.

"Look…you can do it. You just need to stop making sandwiches and start _making_ something of yourself!" Lilo said, spreading her arms.

Rueben blinked, thinking slowly. Then he sat down on the floor, turning away from her and sighing. Lilo groaned and walked past him. "Well I'M gonna fix this ship!" She said, determined. "I'm gonna fix it up, fly to Planet Turo and warn the Grand Councilwoman and Nick and everyone else! Are you with me?!?" She wanted to know.

The experiments all looked at Rueben. Rueben looked guiltily down at the ground for a moment as Lilo tried to move a servo unit which was about ten times her size and 100 times her weight. Then he looked up, a set look on his face, storming towards her as she tried to lift it up.

"I said…_urgh_! Are you…with me?" She asked him.

Suddenly the servo unit was…not there! Lilo opened her eyes and saw Rueben was holding it over his head, grinning at her. "Oh I'm with ya, sister." He told her. "But first we gotta put this servo unit back into the main drive shaft." He said, doing just that. "You ARE as strong as Stitch!" Lilo proclaimed.

Rueben smiled and walked over to a tube. "Now we reroute the main ignition outlet…" He picked it up and then jumped on the wall, still carrying it, crawling up the wall and onto the ceiling. "AND you can walk on the ceiling like he can!" Lilo exclaimed.

Scratch held up a hand and counted off casually. "Five…four…three…two…one..."

"**Woaaaaahhhh**!" Rueben shouted.

KABAM! He hit a large stack of ham and cheese sandwiches, making lettuce and American cheese go flying everywhere. "Ugh…I'm…uh…a little outta practice." He admitted sheepishly. Scratch snickered. "Who called it? Pay up." "Fine, fine." Gunner groaned, getting out a fiver.

A few minutes later, all of the experiments watched in awe as Rueben went to work on the engines outside of the ship.

"Flazookian cartridge clamp." He asked Lilo, holding out a hand.

"Here." She said. "This it?"

"Yep. Smaishy scoop."

"Is THIS it?"

"Yep. Good job, Lilo. Pickle."

"It's…got a bite outta it." She said, handing a pickle to him.

"Perfect!" He exclaimed, shoving it into a power outlet. "We're good to go for the engines! Now we gotta go program the navigational system…"

Inside the ship Rueben typed rapidly away at the keyboard while Lilo and the experiments moved furniture and equipment over to their proper places. Angel smiled. "Now THAT'S the Rueben I remember." She bragged.

Rueben went everywhere, fixing the windows, going inside of the videophone circuitry, fixing the climate control…and Lilo helped him by giving him sandwiches, nice long subs. Rueben finally added the final touch by using his extra arms to tie the wires of his the main control panel back together. The machines of the ship crackled to life.

"We're all good to go!" He told her. "This ship is ready to sail!"

And sail into the sky it did! The ship took off through the skies a few minutes later. Lilo punched the air, whooping "Woohooooo! Here we come, guys!"

Meanwhile, down below, in a certain nasty little red head's house…

"And please bring keep Weird-Lo and her weirdness as far away from me as possible and…and most of all, bring my daddy back to me." Myrtle prayed passionately just as she was about to get into bed. But before she could crawl in, a strange red glow lit up her room. It was coming from outside. Luckily she had the window open.

She walked over to the window and looked outside just in time to see a meteor crash down in the neighbor's yard next door. Red smoke rose from a glowing red crash site…

And then IT appeared. Glowing yellow eyes. Bent antennae. Yellow teeth in a fierce snarl. This red demon threw back its head and laughed, hopping down from the fence and running out into the streets.

Myrtle put her hands to her cheeks and screeched as loud as she could, fainting dead away…

And many, many light-years away, Pleakley was also screaming as the G.A.C.C carpool van tumbled toward the approaching black hole. It was a huge hole, pulling in all around it into a red and yellow vortex of energy. Jumba gasped. "Is very fascinating sight…but do NOT want to be this close!" He screamed. "Black hole dead ahead!" Pleakley wailed. "We're all gonna diiiiiie!"

"Naga today!" Stitch snarled. He'd been scratching the inside of the capsule so much it was weak. He smashed his head against it and it cracked open completely. He jumped out, breaking Jumba and Pleakley free of their bonds. "Ha ha!" He shouted, jumping on the console. It was time to blow this pop stand.

He typed in new destination coordinates. "Babi…gabu…dya." He muttered. "Go…to…HQ."

"New destination coordinates…denied." The computer's friendly voice informed him. Stitch growled and stood up, angrily clenching his fists and kicking the console. "Hootchaka!" He snarled.

"No need to use that kind of language." Pleakley told him. "…actually, in this situation, is okay." Jumba defended. "Go ahead, use s and f-word if you want."

"Impact with black hole: one minute."

"Ahhh! What's gonna happen to us?" Pleakley wailed. Jumba rubbed his chin.

"Hmm…if we are NOT crushed, black hole will teleport us to volcano planet, where we will be quickly yet painfully vaporized!"

"Vapor?!? But I **hate** steam baths!"

"Unless…" Jumba added, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Unless what?" Pleakley asked hopefully.

"Unless we alter destination…by disrupting the event horizon JUST before entry!" Jumba shouted, slamming his fist into his open palm. "Ha-ha-ha! Am such a genius! But…will be requiring small projectile to do such thing, small projectile approximately 3 inches diameter weighing 17.2 ounces!"

"But we don't have any-wait a minute!" Pleakley exclaimed. He dug into his pocket and pulled out... "Lilo's rock! The paperweight! Will this do?"

Jumba took it and placed it on the ship's scanner. "Ay! No! Is 22.3 ounces!"

Stitch rolled his eyes. "Gimme." He growled, grabbing it and taking a bite out of it. Then he wrenched the front panel of the control console open and climbed inside. Jumba looked at Pleakley and Pleakley looked at Jumba.

"Impact with black hole: 30 seconds." The computer happily informed them.

Stitch burst out the front of the car, climbing up onto the hood, holding the rock high, looking like David about to slay Goliath.

Pleakley beamed and cheered. "Go little monster, go-go-go! Save us, save us, from the black hole! Yaaayyy!"

"Go for it, 626! Is NO pressure…okay, lots of pressure."

"Batter up." Stitch said, throwing the rock. It sailed through space, down, down, down toward the event horizon…

There was a flash. An explosion of matter and energy. Suddenly a whirling tornado of yellow energy enveloped the van. Everyone screamed as they were sucked in an down, down, down…

**FA-BOOOOOOOM!!!**

Silence.

MEANWHILE, AT LILO'S HOUSE…

Leroy cackled and made his way furtively around the outside of the house, sneaking up the steps. A frog, watching him, croaked. Leroy ignored it and snuck in through the doggy door, looking around for any sign of life.

Nothing. He snuck up the stairs and to the elevator that led to Lilo's room. He stuck his head out into the corridor. Anyone there?

Nope. Nobody there.

"This is way too easy." He thought, sneering. He got inside the elevator shaft, climbing up to Lilo's room and sniffing around. It REEKED of little girl, 626 and happiness. It made him wanna puke. He jumped at some drawers and rummaged through them. His efforts were only rewarded by earning him some socks on his ears. He tossed them off and went to the bookcase, wrenching book after book off of it.

"Where IS it? That dumb bunny said the girl keeps a logbook, where IS it?!?" He snarled. Then he found something.

"The Log Book" the title read. "Oooh. Magata! Great!" He opened it.

"…elm and birch logs, although similar in climate, are clearly different, as birch logs are clearly white and-ARGH!" Not THAT kind of log book! He thought, throwing it away. He then jumped on Lilo's bed, frustrated. "If it's not here, I'm gonna!!!..."

He wrenched the pillow off.

"Ahhh…itchiba. Perfect…" There was a pink book that had the home-made title "cousins" on it. "Yes…yesss…this is it." He chuckled to himself. "Heh-heh-heh…"

"Lilo! I'm home!" Nani announced from downstairs. Leroy stiffened up. "Choota!" He snarled. That dumb bunny had insisted that Leroy not harm Lilo, Nani, Victoria, Keoni or David Kawena. If Leroy DID, there would be h-e-double hockey sticks to pay.

"You already asleep?" Nani called out from up the elevator shaft.

Leroy thought quickly. He made snoring noises, very, VERY convincing ones.

"Guess that answers that." Nani said softly, leaving.

Leroy chuckled. "Ha-ha-ha! Foolish, foolish _**slut**_!" He laughed. He waited for her to head back to her room, and then jumped down the elevator shaft with a smug smile on his face, heading for the kitchen. He wrenched the refrigerator door open and took out a nice can of coke. "Now then…" He thought. "Tomorrow…is going to be a very, very good day…but not for THEM! Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!!!"

And so, that next morning, the capturing process went on easily. Mrs. Hasagawa was too busy moving fruits around to notice Cloudy being taken from under her nose. When Leroy, lugging a caught, stuffed-in-a-sack Cloudy ran by, she blinked.

"Hmm…did the nice doggy get a haircut? Somethin's different about him."

Clip was next. She thought the person reading the newspaper in the second chair was a customer…but he was actually interesting in getting not a haircut…but in getting HER!

"Lemme out!" She screamed as Leroy slung her over his shoulder in the containment bag. He snickered and ignored her. "Now then…" He wondered. "Who's next?"

Slugger had JUST been about to hit a ball. But the pitcher of the game…

"Hey, where's Johnny?"

Johnny, the relief pitcher for the little league team, had been rudely strung up in a tree, having been beaten within an inch of his life simply because Leroy was an a-hole that liked hurting little kids. He took the kids clothes (yes, poor Johnny was naked now) and took the mound…

And when he threw something, it sure as heck wasn't a baseball!

"Hey! You're supposed to steal _bases_, not our hitter!" The coach yelled as Leroy ran off, carrying Slugger.

One by one the experiments were bagged. From Cannonball…

"All right, cowabung-AAA!!! Lemme out!"

"Hee-hee-hee!"

To Frenchfry…

"_Sacre Bleu_!"

To Sprout…

"Hey! I'm supposed to get lots of sunlight out in the open! Take me back!"

"Aw shut up, or I'll stick you in a room with Polka playing 24/7!"

To Mr. Stenchy…

"Well this stinks. OW!"

"No puns!"

They all got caught.

Victoria and Snooty were on their way to Keoni's house to talk about Nick leaving. Then they overheard Myrtle, who was walking their way.

"It crash-landed in MY backyard! I bet it came to take you-know-who back to Planet Weird!"

"Yeah…Lilo wasn't in class today. THAT's weird." Teresa said.

"Maybe it ATE her!" Elena gasped.

"Maybe it's gonna eat us ALL!" Yuki screamed.

Myrtle raised an eyebrow but was indeed worried. "Well…I'm not gonna sit around to get ingested! I'm telling Officer Kaihiko. Come on, Gigi! Let's go."

Myrtle's friends called out "Be careful!" to her. Myrtle just scoffed. "Like I should be worried."

Victoria walked up to her. "Hey Myrtle, what did you mean, something crashed in your backyard?"

Myrtle rolled her eyes. "Like I'm gonna tell you." "Why not?" Victoria asked her. "Anyhow, I'm going over to Keoni's house, his mom made cookies."

"…are they chocolate chip? Chocolate's poisonous to dogs, I don't want Gigi getting sick…"

"Peanut Butter chip."

"Well…" Myrtle considered it, then shrugged. "I…guess telling Officer Kaihiko can wait till after lunch. All right, I'll go with you."

Victoria smiled and led Myrtle down to Keoni's house. Soon they were knocking on the door.

"Hey Keoni! How's it?" Victoria asked.

"Great, Victoria!" He told her. "Oh, and Myrtle, what a nice surprise! Want to come in for some cookies?"

"Sure, sure."

"Mom set it all up in the backyard. We've got kool-aid and stuff, Mom and Dad are getting ready." "Ready for what?" Victoria asked. "It's because tomorrow night's New Year's Day, and we're all celebrating Alohapalooza at the stadium at exactly midnight. Mom and Dad don't expect people to arrive until around uh…10:30 or something, so until then we'll have the whole stadium free and open to ourselves! It's ours for two and a half days. Cool, huh?"

They went into Keoni's backyard and sat down in lawn chairs. Gigi barked and chased her tail while Snooty sipped on a huge cup of red kool-aid. There was a small pool and a nice-looking BBQ there. Yep, just three red-heads, hanging out.

And then Myrtle popped the question.

"So…have you seen Lilo?" Myrtle suddenly asked.

Victoria shook her head. "No, I haven't-"

**SFX: Record Scratch!**

"Did you just say "LILO"?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Not "Weird-Lo" or "Freak-A-Zoid" or anything like that?"

"…no. So what?!?"

"You miss her, don't you? Admit it. You like her and her dog more than you're willing to admit. She and her family did save you a couple times, remember?"

Myrtle crossed her arms. "I am NOT…I mean, that is the most ridiculous, why I never…"

Their stares cut her protests short. "All right, fine, I miss her a little. Okay, I miss her SOME, all right? She's pretty funny sometimes. Her and her family, and I'm grateful for the times she's helped me out, are you happy?!?"

"Yep." Victoria laughed.

"I'm good." Keoni agreed.

In the bushes, Leroy snickered. "Oh goody…I can bag two birds with one stone." He said, looking at the logbook. "Snooty and Gigi, huh? I came looking for one, and I get a twofer! Heh-heh." He looked at Victoria Keoni and Myrtle, raising an eyebrow. "And look who else is here…what a nice surprise."

"Anyway, why not tell us what you were talking about earlier? Someone was in your backyard?"

Myrtle shivered. "N-not someone…someTHING. Something red and nasty and it looked like Lilo's dog and…and it had the creepiest EYES!...and it didn't look like it brushed it's teeth often, they were yellow and everything, ew!" She made a face that illustrated her disgust.

Keoni and Victoria looked at each other. "Red fur, creepy eyes and yellow teeth?" "…Nick's story…he said that that Leroy thing was exactly like that!" "Leroy?" Myrtle asked. She didn't remember most of the story. "Uh, who's Leroy again?"

"That would be ME." Leroy said, stepping out of the bushes, blaster raised. Gigi began barking. Snooty hissed at him.

"Uh…nice doggy?" Myrtle pleaded. "Nice doggy…"

Leroy gave her a terrible, nasty smile. "Oh no…I'm a very, very **bad** doggy." He said softly, squeezing the trigger. A net flew from the blaster, flying through the air and enveloping Myrtle and Gigi, who both screamed and tried to break free.

"Struggle all you want, those are carbon nanotube non-transparent capture nets. Not even I could break free from those! The more you struggle, the more cramped it gets…my kind of net, heh-heh."

Snooty suddenly dive-bombed him, while Victoria grabbed a pronged barbequing stick used to pick up meat from off of the table and rushed at Leroy. "You big jerk!" She shouted, swinging it. "Let her-"

Leroy caught it. "Awww, trying to stick up for your little friend? _Too bad_!" He laughed and wrenched it free. Then he promptly twisted it into knots and jumped up, whacking a surprised Snooty at her. Victoria and Snooty collapsed on the ground, groaning, while Leroy chuckled evilly.

"Heh-heh-heh. Now then…" He whipped his blaster at her and Snooty. "Hamsterviel said he wouldn't hurt Jumba's family on Earth, but don't worry…this won't HURT…"

Keoni suddenly smashed his chair over Leroy's head. "You _haole_! You get the heck outta my backyard and go back to wherever you-"

Leroy turned and backhanded him. He went flying at the house, hitting the wall. He screamed in pain, his back bruised badly. Victoria and Snooty ran to him. "Keoni! KEONI! Get up!" He groaned. "Victoria…run…"

"Too laaaaate." Leroy sang out. He fired a net and it enveloped all three of them. He cackled. "Oh I just LOVE my job!"


	63. Aloha Oe, Pt2

**CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE**

ALOHA OE, PT. 2

Meanwhile, at Galactic HQ…

"Boy…it's really empty in here." Lilo commented to Rueben.

"Yeah, it IS quiet…" Scratch agreed. Carmen nodded. "TOO quiet."

Nightwing rubbed his chin. "Perhaps we should split up. We can cover more ground that way."

Lilo nodded. They were now in a huge hall that diverted in six different ways. "Okay, me and Rueben will head this way. Scratch, Carmen, you go take that path. Nightwing, Heartwing, you guys go there. Gunner, Sparky, you take that path. Crystallene, and Page…you go in THAT direction."

They all nodded and took off. Lilo walked with Rueben, looking around. "It's never been this quiet before. I hope Nick's okay." "He can take care of himself. I just hope that everythin's okay with everyone else."

They walked down the hallway, looking around. Lots of doors, plenty of hallways, decorations galore…

But not a single soul was there.

Odd. Very odd.

The others, however…

Scratch and Carmen found the bathrooms. "Uh…I uh…gotta tinkle, babe." Carmen told Scratch. "Really? Well, okay. I'll wait for you outside." Carmen ran inside while Scratch waited for her, humming a tune.

Then he turned to look at the cause of some unusual growling. His eyes widened.

"Oh cra-"

BAM-BAM!

THUD.

Carmen came out of the bathroom. And then…

"_HESUS CHRISTO_-"

BAM!

THUD.

Elsewhere, Nightwing and Heartwing met a similar fate. One moment they were walking down the hall, the next…

Heartwing stiffened. "Bad ones here." He snarled suddenly, his eyes becoming slits. Nightwing got on all fours, sniffing the air. "Yes, I…I can smell evil…"

"Too late for you!"

"Cousin, ru-"

Gunner and Sparky?

"Hey, Gunner? Where'd you go?"

…

"Gunner? Seriously, quit fooling around, I'm not-"

"Gotcha!"

"AAAA-"

And Crystallene and Page?

"You know, every time someone says "Split up" in the movies, somebody ends up-"

BANG-BANG-BANG!

THUD-THUD-THUD.

"You know…he's right, heh-heh-heh…"

And thus, only Lilo and Rueben were left…only THEY didn't know it. And they were about to be in a heap of trouble. You see, they had actually managed to find the Grand Councilwoman's chamber, but when they got inside…

"Grand Councilwoman!" Lilo shouted, rushing to the desk. The chair was turned around but Lilo could see the unique shoulder-gear that the Grand Councilwoman owned sticking up from behind it. "Stitch is in trouble, he's not in control of-"

"Hellooo." Hamsterviel cheerfully exclaimed, turning the chair around. He was sitting on a stack of books, hands folded against each other in a "oh goody for me" evil fashion.

"Hamsterviel?" Lilo gasped. "Hamsterveal?" Rueben exclaimed.

Hamsterviel groaned and covered his face with one hand, the other hand clenched in a fist. "Darn yoouuuu! It is Hamster-VIEL!" He shouted, standing up and shaking his fist angrily. "Hamster-VIEL! Why do people find it so hard to pronounce? Do you do it just to drive me crazy? Well I have news: it is WORKING! Anyhow, it's not Hamsterveal. It is Jacques von Hamster_viel_, king and top ruler of the galaxy, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" He laughed and laughed.

They simply blinked at him. Hamsterviel groaned. "I _would _get down and gloat in your faces, but…well, I can't get out of this chair. I'm too high up."

"Sucks to be you." Lilo said.

"Indeed." Hamsterviel agreed. "Where are my henchmen? Six-Two-Sevennn? Gantu! Gantuuuuu!"

Gantu came running into the room with his pistol…and wearing one of Hamsterviel's old capes. "Coming sir!" He shouted. "I'm here." E-Vile also ran in, coming to quick halt when he saw Lilo and Stitch.

Rueben snickered at Gantu. "Heh-heh…nice cape!"

"Shut iiiit!" Gantu hissed. "Rueben, don't tease the bad guys." Lilo told him. "…but then again, I guess it doesn't matter, since we're too late."

"Indeed!" Hamsterviel replied. "Thanks to my oh-so-brilliant plan, I have taken over the Galactic Alliance using my army of clones named Leroy!"

Rueben blinked. "Wait, _Leroy_?" "Leroy?" Lilo asked. "Nick told us about him." "What's wrong with the name Leroy?" Hamsterviel demanded to know. Lilo shrugged. "Nothing." Then she smiled. "I like it."

Hamsterviel smiled warmly at her. Then he looked up smugly at Gantu. "_See_? Ha!"

Gantu growled, annoyed. "Whatever." He thought. E-Vile snickered.

"But you can't run the Galaxy, that's the Grand Councilwoman's job!...I think." Lilo protested.

Hamsterviel sniggered. "Ah-heh-heh-heh. She has been…" Then he turned serious and said the last word with great bite. "**Demoted**."

In the next room…

"Dr. Hamsterviel's office, how can I help you?" The Grand Councilwoman asked, wearing a headset phone, one of "Hammy's" old capes and a secretary's pin. Some alien on the other line babbled angrily. It sounded like a squirrel. "Sorry, he's at a meeting." She told him. More babbling. "I don't care if you're his cousin, he is in a _MEETING_." She growled, hanging up.

"Oh, how I **hate** this job." She grumbled.

Lilo pointed angrily at him. "You won't win! It'll never work, Stitch'll stop you!"

Hamsterviel tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, Stitch, Sti-ohhh, you mean that poor wealking 626?"

"His name is STITCH!" Lilo shouted, stamping her foot.

Hamsterviel blinked slowly. "You have nerve. Not bad. But…heh…your little blue friend has been sent tumbling to his doom in a black hole!"

Lilo took in a harsh breath. "Is THAT the Stitch you are referring to?" He asked, laughing. Rueben comfortingly put a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay." He told her. "Somehow." Lilo blinked back tears. "A Black hole? You're lying! You _have_ to be!"

Hamsterviel shook his head. "I may be a lot of things, but I'm not the kind of person who lies, especially to little kids. Oh don't worry…" He told her softly. "He has plenty of company. That idiot scientist and one-eyed noodly thing went in with him."

Rueben gasped. "Jumba?" "And Pleakley?" Lilo exclaimed, hands flying to her mouth in disbelief. "You couldn't have!"

Hamsterviel shook his head slowly, a hint of regret creeping into his voice. "I can. And I did. Leroy easily beat your little Stitch, and then we stuffed him and your other two friends into a van that's now en route to the Xenon black hole. You really shouldn't even be here." He sighed. "I told Jumba I wouldn't hurt his little _ohana_. I made a promise. You shouldn't have come. I didn't want to have to get _you_ involved, you're just a little girl, and I've been thinking that perhaps I shouldn't have tried to harm you before."

Lilo tried to think of something else. "Well, then…one of Jumba's other experiments like Scratch or Heartwing will…"

"Other experiments like THEM?" Hamsterviel asked, pointing behind her. Lilo looked and saw all of her friends she'd brought with her unconscious and tied up, surrounded by 5 Leroy clones, all of whom regarded Lilo with a cruel eye.

E-Vile saw 621 and 561 unconscious and immediately took in a harsh breath.

Lilo turned angrily at Hamsterviel. "Then _Nick_ will…"

"He's not here." Hamsterviel told her simply. "He was _so_ worried about you he left. He just _had_ to say goodbye, so he hitched a ride with some trucker. According to the scanners of this facility, your dear boyfriend is on his way to Earth right now, he's light years away! By the time he realizes his mistake, it shall be too late." He looked down directly at Lilo. "_You'll_ be out of the way, and the rest of Stitch's "cousins" will be eliminated."

"What are you talking about?" Rueben demanded to know. "My cousins aren't ALL here! Most are still back on Earth!"

Hamsterviel nodded, grinning nastily. "Yes…with the original Leroy."

Beep-beep! A holographic vid-screen popped up. The Grand Councilwoman, now Grand Secretary, appeared. "Incoming message from a Mr. Leroy." She announced, her face haggard.

"Put him through, put him throoouugh!" Hamsterviel demanded. The Grand Secretary groaned and did so. Leroy's mug appeared as he stood there, a look of smug satisfaction on his face as he clacked each set of claws against each other.

"So, what is the progress?" Hamsterviel asked.

Leroy grinned. "Nagata queesta! Negata noqueebi mo-"

"Talk Basic!" Hamsterviel shouted. "Jeez, you're talking too fast, darn it."

"You're no fun. Fine, fine. All experiments on the island have been…" Leroy grinned evilly. "_Captured_."

Hamsterviel grinned and rubbed his hands. "Excellent! I am on my way!"

"Oh, before you come over here, I will need a little security to make sure that they don't try to band together and escape. I'll need some clones." Leroy asked, in an "afterthought" tone.

Hamsterviel nodded. "Very well. How many do you think shall suffice?"

Leroy tapped his lip thoughtfully. "Oh, I'd say…100."

Hamsterviel's eyes narrowed for a moment, then he shrugged. "Done. You! Clones! Round up 95 more of you and head over to the loading docks. Take one of the BIG ships, try not to scratch the paint…and hurry it up, ASAP!" The clones nodded and carried the unconscious experiments away.

Hamsterviel gave Gantu a condescending look. "See? It took Leroy some paltry few hours to catch them all where it took _you _about 3 years to _fail_! What is WRONG with you?"

"Well I have a bad knee…" Gantu complained.

"No-no-no-no-no!" Hamsterviel shouted, jumping up and down. "That was another rhetorical question, you don't-answer-it! Now will you get me down from this chair!?!"

Gantu rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Um…was THAT a rhetorical question?"

Hamsterviel clenched both his fists, bit his lip and suppressed a huge scream. "One…two…three…four…five…nope. Still mad.** GET ME DOWN YOU STUPID IDIOT!**" He snarled. Gantu immediately carried Hamsterviel down to the ground. The evil rodent then turned to look at Rueben and Lilo.

"What shall we do with the girl and 625?" Gantu asked. "His name is RUEBEN!" Lilo shouted, stamping her foot. "Yeah, Rueben!" Rueben agreed.

Hamsterviel rubbed his chin. "Fitting name. Not bad." "It is nice." Gantu agreed. E-Vile nodded as well. "Yeah, not too bad. Hmm…maybe I should get a better name. Something that screams "Tough-Guy" and "Bad-Ass"…"

"Watch your mouth!" Gantu said. 627 covered his mouth quickly. "Oops! Sorry-hey wait, why should I care? I'm the bad guy!"

The white alien rodent crossed his arms, thinking. "In any case, what SHOULD I do with you? I did promise Jumba not to hurt you…"

"Oh, about that uh…promise…" Leroy suddenly interjected. "That uh, that red-head who once made you a pet? Myrtle, I think. Yeah, she uh…got in the way. She and the two other red-heads."

Hamsterviel turned and gave Leroy a furious look. "What?!? I told you not to harm them!"

"I didn't! None of them are harmed. I just captured them." Leroy lied, and then he blew fake dust off of his hands, flexing his claws in the air. "They're with the other experiments at Aloha stadium, right in Kokaua Town." He leisurely told them.

Hamsterviel put his hands on his hips. His voice became dangerously soft. "I gave you strict instructions not to hurt any members of Jumba's family he gained on Earth! If you are disobeying me…"

"I said they're not harmed. They're just…" Leroy grinned. "Tied up at the moment. And as for that girl you've got there, you should just get rid of her." He calmly suggested. "Why not have me come over there? I could use a little snack." He laughed at his own idea. Lilo gasped. Rueben flicked him the bird. "Foul abomination." Gantu snarled. E-Vile stuck his tongue out. "_Ew_. Humans kinda taste like bad Chinese food. I oughta know, I've bitten quite a few…"

Hamsterviel folded his arms. He looked at Lilo and Rueben. His expression was strange, he continued to regard her in some way nobody could comprehend at the moment.

Finally he spoke. "Earlier, when you were captured along with 421, I wanted you eliminated because you had been annoying me for so long…but now there's nothing you can do." Lilo didn't even object. She didn't see anything she could do now. Hamsterviel walked over to her and gently lifted her head, holding her cheek. "I'm not about to hurt a little girl." He told her quietly. "I am not _that_ heartless. And I promised Jumba. He WAS my best friend. Leroy…you are to let the red heads go…except for that Myrtle Edmonds. I want to talk with her personally, I have a score to settle."

Leroy growled. "You're making a mistake! Those two are-"

"**Shut UP**!" Hamsterviel roared. Everyone took a step back, surprised at this sudden display of fury. "You are to do as I say! I will _**NOT**_ go back on my word!" And with that he walked off. "Take the girl and, uh, Rueben to the prison block." He told Gantu. "E-Vile, you are to head off to Earth with the clone security to help in the elimination of those stupid do-gooder experiments."

"Yes sir." Gantu said.

"You got it." E-Vile said, walking off with the clones.

"Cuz, wait!" Rueben called out. E-Vile stopped. "627, don't do this. They're your family! _We're_ your family!"

E-Vile looked down at the floor. "I don't really know what I want anymore. But…well…" He turned around and walked over to Lilo, grinning evilly at her. He shoved Rueben aside and grabbed her throat, pulling her close. "It feels very good doing this…natural, really." He whispered in a soft dangerous, tone. "I don't have any qualms about ripping you to pieces or even…heh-heh…having some…_fun_…with your dead body…"

Hamsterviel stopped, suddenly glaring balefully at the orange experiment. Gantu looked disgusted. Lilo gasped and Rueben ground his teeth in anger. The evil experiment went on. "…but I also don't really like the idea of seeing 561, 621 and 625 suffer. Hmm…" He let her go, and she gasped for breath. He rubbed his chin. "Gee, what DO I want…what do I really want? Hmm…ah, well. Being evil's what I'm good at, so being evil's what I'll do. Later…" He laughed nastily, walking off. "Any last messages you want me to deliver to your family?" He asked, laughing some more.

"…tell them to wait for me." Lilo said softly.

E-Vile stopped laughing. He tossed Lilo a murderous look that suddenly turned into a genuinely confused expression. Then he "harrumphed" and walked off, following the clones.

Hamsterviel took in a breath and then continued talking to Gantu. "When you are finished, pick up your final paycheck and turn in your ID. You're fired."

"Wh-what?" Gantu gasped.

"You…are…f-i-r-e-d." Hamsterviel said, turning around.

"I'm _fired_?" Gantu asked, honestly hurt by this blow.

"You're fired!" Hamsterviel snapped. "I don't need you now that I have Leroy. My future is looking bright."

Leroy snickered and flicked Gantu four birds. "See you…" He told them, and the vid screen vanished.

Gantu stammered. "But-but what about MY future? How am I supposed to pay the bills?"

"Why not find some other evil genius and be his incompetent flunky? It's all you're good at." Hamsterviel snickered.

"Now THIS is what's called a cruel irony." Rueben told Lilo. Gantu groaned and looked unhappily at the ground.

"Or perhaps you could write your memoirs." Hamsterviel went on. "Diary of an Incompetent Fish-Headed Moron: The Idiot Years"! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

He gave Lilo and Rueben and evil smile. "Now then…I'm off to get rid of those pesky do-gooder experiments. Ta-ta!" He swept his cape in an evil pose and smiled nastily as the door closed behind him. Lilo looked sadly at the ground.

"All right, move along." Gantu told them in a depressed tone. "This way."

Gantu brought them to the prison block, over to a floating platform that would lead them up to their cell. They passed by a few dangerous looking criminals, save for one who stood there, looking right at them. He had a elongated head, kangaroo-like legs, and beady eyes. However, he looked very pleasant otherwise. VERY pleasant.

"Um…what's _he_ in for?" Rueben asked. Gantu was about to speak, but the criminal did first, speaking very softly and politely.

"A census taker once tried to test me..."

"So?"

"I ate his liver with some fava beans."

"**Eek**!" Rueben exclaimed.

Gantu got on top of the floating platform with a creeped-out Rueben and a silent, morose Lilo. "Old tuna face" was grumbling all the way. "My years of hard work and loyalty, and _this_ is how he rewards me? Stupid rodent."

Rueben nodded. "Yeah, that fat gerbil treats you like a sack of-"

"Watch your mouth, there's a little girl present." Gantu told him nodding at Lilo, who wouldn't even look up or open her eyes.

"…pile of blitznack. You have every right to be angry."

Gantu just mumbled something unintelligible. "You know…" Rueben went on. "The problem with "Hammy" is that he's got no _aloha_ spirit. But it'll come back and bite him in the-"

"Watch it."

"-butt someday. Just you wait. Lilo here always says that the _aloha_ you give always comes back to you…"

They reached the cell, many yards up in the air. Gantu opened the door to it and Rueben turned to look at Lilo as she slowly trudged in, sitting down on a bed in that cell. "Although…it looks like her little spirit's broken." Rueben said sadly.

Gantu blinked slowly a few times. Then Rueben walked inside and Gantu shut the door, going back down on the floating platform. Rueben looked over at Lilo, who wouldn't look up at all. She was beyond the point of crying. Rueben started to say something, but couldn't bring himself to put it in words.

Lilo turned to Rueben, arms wrapped around her legs. "You know…_aloha_ is supposed to mean hello and goodbye. That's what Nani says. But for us…it mostly seems to mean goodbye."

Rueben sighed sadly and paced around the cell a few times, moving slowly…then got an idea. "You know…" He started to say. "Turns out I'm pretty strong…bet I could lift this door up!"

He walked over to the cell door and sprung his extra arms free. He reached under…

WOOSH!

The door went flying up. "Wow! Guess I'm stronger than I thought!" Rueben exclaimed. Then Gantu stuck his head in. "You didn't open that door…_I_ did. I'm breaking you two out of here." Lilo looked at him, eyes hopeful, a smile slowly spreading on her features. Rueben grinned. Gantu smiled warmly at her.

"_Aloha_." He said simply.

"_Alohaaa_! THAT'S my blubber butt buddy!" Rueben shouted happily. "Let's blow this pop stand!"

Out in space…

"Ohhhhhh my girl Darlene's the nicest around, yeah she's eyed by everyone in town, oh she snores in her sleep and she swears the most but I sure like the way that she butters mah toaaaast!"

Nick was sitting in "shotgun", next to the trucker, who wouldn't stop singing the same line of the same song that he'd been singing for about 20 minutes now. Nick was screaming inside of his head.

_FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, SHUT UPPPPP!!!  
_

The trucker stopped. "Hey kid, we're approaching your planet's location. We oughta be there, 'bout, oh say…five minutes, ah reckon."

Nick sighed in relief. "Phew! Finally! I…can't wait to see Lilo again."

_AND for this guy to stop singing!  
_

"Too bad you ain't a chick, though. Reckon I could use some goddang poontang!"

"Huh? "Poontang"? What's that?" Nick asked innocently.

Then, just as Earth came into view and before the trucker could answer and scar Nick's mind, a ship pulled up beside them. A Galactic Alliance style carrier cruiser.

"Uh…what the _frack_?" Nick thought out loud. The trucker looked down at his control panel.

"Hmm…'cording to that guy out there, we's gotta pull over so they can board us."

Nick turned to the trucker. "Did you, uh…do something illegal? Break the speed limit or something?"

The trucker shook his head. "No, no. I ain't do anything illegal since that time Uncle Joe insisted that I smuggle over some drugs to Jupiter. Really, I ain't carryin' anything now, I'm clean as a whistle. I got a heater 'neath the seat, but I've already filled out the forms for it and I paid fer all my taxes…"

Someone knocked on the airlock door. Nick unbuckled. "I'LL get it." He said. He got out of his seat and went to the door.

"Hell-OH MY SWEET _**JESUS**_!" Nick screamed. A Leroy clone, carrying four guns, snickered and shoved them into Nick's chest. "On the ground, kid!" It barked.

Nick did him one step better…he fainted dead away. The trucker looked back at the scene and gaped.

"Aw, dangnabbit."

Nick was dragged onto the ship along with the trucker. Since Nick was unconscious, he wasn't awake to see what happened to the trucker or hear what happened…

But when he woke up…

The trucker was in the corner of a cell they were both in. He was whiter than normal, not wearing pants and mumbling incoherently to himself.

Nick blinked a few times. The guy was bleeding from somewhere, from the looks of it his back or his butt. "Uh…what on Earth happened?" He finally asked.

The trucker couldn't say anything. He became mute and looked away. Nick turned around and gasped at what he saw…about 45 Leroy clones all looking at him, sniggering. E-Vile was flying the ship. For some reason, he didn't feel much like talking…or facing Nick at the moment.

One clone was cleaning his teeth with the trucker's belt, the pants on the ground below. He sneered at Nick. "Boy, that was fun." It said. "He cried a lot."

"Wh-wha?" Nick asked, not getting it totally but having a nasty feeling inside that they'd done something VERY bad to the poor guy.

The clones just laughed. "Just shut up and enjoy the trip, Nick Grey. Oh, don't look surprised. We know who you are. We've got the memories of the original Leroy in us, and since Omega Leroy's got self-awareness even in pod form he knew all about you and your little family. By the way…we're on our way to your little girlfriend's island to basically wipe out all of 626's cousins and to have some fun terrorizing the people of the island. It's gonna be a BLAST."

Nick blinked slowly, taking it all in.

"Oh God, oh God…" He thought out loud. "I…oh, it's time's like these I wish I had super-"

**SFX: Donkey Braying**

The clones blinked. "What the hell was that?!?"

Nick slapped his forehead with his palm. "Uh DUH!" Then he jumped up and rushed at the cell door. "I won't let you go there!" He shouted. "I'm gonna kick your-"

He hit the door but it didn't break. He hit a plasma shield and it shocked him badly, frying him with electricity. He was flung back, groaning. The clones all laughed. "Just get comfortable. You AIN'T getting out." A clone told him.

Then it gave him a terrible grin. "By the way, we also know about that little story you told about the future. Very interesting. Once we've eliminated all of the experiments, we'll be sure to make sure that future becomes a reality."

Nick's eyes went wide. "_**No**_…" He gasped.

The clone was now grinning very widely. "So, how's it feel, knowing that all you did amounted to jack diddly?"

Nick slammed his fists on the ground over and over.

"No-no-no-no-NO-NO-NO-NO-**NOOOOO**!!!" Nick rushed at the shielded door again. It shocked him, but he kept striking his fists against it. "LET-ME-OUT-LET-ME-OUT!"

E-Vile raised an eyebrow, mouth opening slightly. Something was on the tip of his tongue…and then he lost it.

The clones looked at each other, worried. "He might actually break out." One said, glancing back at Nick. "Get the drugs we stole from the truck."

Nick looked back at the trucker. "Wait a tick, I thought you said you _weren't_ carrying-"

The door suddenly swung open and before he knew it, a needle was jammed into Nick's arm. He blinked, and suddenly his pupils dilated.

"Oh, THAT kind of druuuuuuuuuug…" With that, he fainted dead away…

About an hour later, Hamsterviel was pacing in his spaceship, about to take off with a crew of Leroy clones. In fact, not just a crew, an entire ship filled to the brim with clones. "What to do, what to do, what to do…" He wondered out loud.

Leroy appeared on the vid-screen of the command deck. "What's wrong, sir? I've got all of the experiments and that little girl here in the stadium. Is there something else you want me to do?"

"…I DON'T want you making suggestions about what I should do with my prisoners. I am a grown hamster, and you're _not_ my mother. You're my henchman and have to do what I say, understand?!?"

"Sorry, Dr. Hamsterviel." Leroy said in his most apologetic tone. But inside his head he was sneering and cackling at Hamsterviel. "You pathetic fool." He thought. "Oh, the clones are needed alright…but not for security. I could handle 600 of these losers with one hand tied behind my back. I need it for MY master plan. You're so gullible it's hilarious."

"What is so funny?" Hamsterviel demanded to know. Leroy had been getting carried away, letting a smile spring up on his face. He wiped it off, quickly. "I'm just happy everything is working out." He answered truthfully. "Now how are the girl and that traitor 625 doing?"

"His name is Rueben." Hamsterviel told him, slightly annoyed. Then suddenly he blinked. _Why_ on _Earth_ did he care? Something inside told him he should. But what was it?

"Yes, yes, what about those two?" Leroy asked. "Aren't you going to kill them? Or at least send, eh, "Rueben" over here to die?"

"…no. He is stupid, lazy and annoying, but Rueben has been one of my most trusted henchmen for 3 years. Besides, I like his sandwiches."

"You DON'T need the girl." Leroy told him. His voice was becoming soft, persuasive, frighteningly so. "Why not bring her here before you leave?" He licked his lips. "She looks very tasty indeed. Or perhaps I could sample that little red-head you're interested in seeing again? Just a _little_ taste…"

"**No**." Hamsterviel told him. "You disgust me with your sick ideas. You are going **too far**!" He said, pointing into the air. "I am not about to send a little girl to such a horrible fate. I have my own plans…"

And with that, he shut off the communication link. Hamsterviel rubbed his head, which was POUNDING with pain.

"Ohhh…I am in need of a peaceful nap of nappiness…" He groaned.

He walked to the Captain's quarters, shutting the door. Then he got into the bed, rubbing his head some more, resting up against a pillow. "UGH! It hurts so much! I need a painkilling painkiller or-"

Suddenly he passed out. The pain overwhelmed him and he fell into deep sleep.

But he could vaguely hear whispers…

"So that's the plan?"

"Omega Leroy's cooked up a winner, alright."

"That stupid rabbit won't know what hit it."

"Uh, he's _definitely_ a gerbil."

"No, no, he's got rabbit ears."

"But his lower body's like a _gerbil_."

"The rest is hamster…"

"Don't matter. Once we arrive, Hamsterviel will have to do what WE say, like those people on Kauai, right? And in the rest of Hawaii?"

"Yeah, that's why Leroy's rounding up everyone in Kokaua Town, the way he rounded up the experiments. They're all in that stadium. The experiments will be slaughtered, heh-heh-heh…it'll be fun, that's for sure."

"I heard he's keeping SOME of them alive."

"Just for sex reasons."

"Oh, I see. That Angel and that Carmen chick look really hot…"

"That Bonnie girl's got my eye…anyhow, all those humans will be brainwashed after Omega Leroy copies Amnesio's and Angel's powers. They'll be made mindless zombies of evil once he's finished! And once he gains Checker's powers, he'll control all of the world!"

"It's a pretty clever plan. And Hamsterviel don't even know he's set himself up!"

"Yeah, he's a dumb bunny…"

(Youforgotagain)

Hamsterviel awoke with a start. The clock showed that he'd been asleep for two hours. They were, for some reason, still in the port.

And he knew why. They were waiting. He'd give the order to leave Galactic HQ. Then once he was at Kauai, he'd be taken prisoner. Or maybe he'd be taken once in space, far away from any sort of help from…

From the girl…and Rueben and Gantu! The other experiments that had been captured here had already been sent out to Earth on the same ship that had taken the "security" Leroy had "needed". If he could get help from Lilo and-

Wait, what was he thinking? He was a supervillain! He'd think of something else! He was a genius and would not rely on a little girl! After all, he was Jacques von Hamsterviel!

…wasn't he?

Head pounding, heart racing, air getting thick, couldn't see…

I…I'm…

I can't stay awake, I'm not…I'm not…

Not…not…

**NOT** Jacques von Hamsterviel!

(Don'tleavemebehindpleasedon'tleavemeallalone)

Rupert suddenly awoke in inky blackness, an infinite abyss all around him…and in front of him, on a tiny floating disc of light, was Jacques in his red cape.

"Hello brother." Jacques told him. "So you remembered. Unfortunately it's a bit late for that, isn't it? The girl's locked up, you're surrounded by danger, and you fired the only person who may have had any shred of real loyalty to you. Luckily though…" Jacques floated over to him, smiling benevolently at him. "I know a way out. Take my hand, let me back in the driver's seat and I shall eliminate those pesky little traitors that are keeping you down. What do you say, eh?"

Rupert blinked.

"You left me all alone." Rupert said, his voice quiet, barely a whisper. "I begged you not to go. And then you did. You were in my hands, I was shaking you…and I begged you not to leave me behind…and then you left me."

Jacques stopped smiling. Genuine regret and sadness filled his face. "Rupert, people die sometimes. People we care about. That's simply life." He sighed and held his hand out again, smiling once more. "And now you're in danger of dying as well. Come on. Let me save you. Save US. Take my hand."

Rupert looked at his brother and stood up. He raised his hand…

And smacked Jacques's hand away. His face became filled with anger and fury. "You took over my life!" He shouted. "You made me manipulate people! Made me steal and cheat and lie and hurt my best friend! You made me tell on him when Jumba threatened to go to the police about the business deals YOU did as ME! And then you went and faked your own death just so you could plot taking over the galaxy! You USED me! I was your brother and you _used_ me! You can…you can…"

He stammered, trying to find the right words. "You…you can just go to **HELL**!" Rupert screamed. "Get out of me! I don't want you inside _anymore_!"

(Youhurtmeyouhurtmeyouhurtmebad)

Jacques was frowning angrily. "You really don't want to make me _mad_, brother." He told him softly. He reached out and grabbed Rupert's arm, twisting it. Rupert gasped in pain. "You'll do as I say. I'M in charge. I was always stronger than you when it came to being willing to do evil. You don't stand a chance against-"

"But I'M the one who kicks hard!" Rupert shouted, kicking Jacques in the stomach. Jacques let out an "oof" and fell back, off the disc. Rupert jumped after him and the two collided, punching, kicking, biting and snarling as they fell down, down towards a platform below, with a mosaic on it. It had a picture of Rupert divided into two sides, one side with a blue background and the other with a red one. The two brothers landed on different sides and began to circle each other.

"You'll lose!" Jacques screeched, voice sharp. "You won't win against me! I'm MEANT to win!"

"I won't let you hurt anyone else I care about! You'll probably try to kill Myrtle and Lilo!"

Jacques looked honestly hurt. "I would _never_ harm a little girl. I was being serious when I said I didn't want Lilo to get involved and that I didn't want her or her family hurt. Don't think I'm THAT heartless."

"Blood may be thicker than water, but right and wrong are even thicker! I love you, but I can't trust you to do the right thing, Jacques!" Rupert shouted, diving at his brother and slamming him onto the ground. "I remember now! Everything I did as me and everything I did as _you_! I'm going to stop you right here, right **now**!"

(Giveitbackgivemebackmylife)

Jacques suddenly bit his brother on the arm. Rupert screamed and fell off, scurrying back, nursing his hand as blood dropped slowly onto the mosaic, staining a white face red on the cheek. Jacques stood up, brushing himself off. He looked intently at Rupert, eyes narrowed slightly. Finally he spoke calmly and clearly.

"So you'll keep on trying to fight me? No…you WILL fight me? No matter how long it takes, until I'm out of you?"

"Yes." Rupert gasped angrily, standing up.

"You'll try and make things right? Try and save your friends from an evil _you_ created?"

"YES."

Jacques rubbed his chin. "And you'll try and redeem yourself? Make up all the evil you did as me? Tell me truthfully."

"**YES**." Rupert said loudly, voice ringing with clear and final force.

Jacques blinked slowly. Then he walked over to Rupert, arms stretched out. Rupert blinked a few times, unable to understand. Then suddenly Jacques was there, hugging him tightly before stepping away for a moment, holding his brother by the shoulders.

"I'm so proud of you." He said happily, tears falling down, washing away the blood. "Rupert, I _blew_ it. I should have been a better friend to Jumba, a better PERSON…and a really much better brother. I wanted to teach Rahry a lesson and I ended up dead because I couldn't let things go. And you suffered because of it. I'm…I'm sorry."

He hugged Rupert again. "I failed you then. But I'm not going to now. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I want you to know I…I thought you were always going to make something great out of yourself. So…go do it. I know you can. And I'm…I'll miss you."

Rupert von Hamsterviel stood there, his brother hugging him. Then he found he couldn't help it, he was hugging tightly back, crying even more than his brother. "I'll miss you too." He sobbed. "I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry I couldn't help you…"

Jacques stepped back. "Shh-shh-shhhh…" He said, gently brushing a tear away. "It's alright. I'm finally happy now that you can be happy. So good luck."

Jacques von Hamsterviel beamed at his twin brother who smiled brightly back. They shook hands…

(_Aloha _brother.)

Rupert von Hamsterviel opened his eyes. He hopped up on the bed and looked around. Then he looked at the Captain's clothing closet. He opened it up.

"Nope, nope, nope…ah HA! Got 'em!"

He held up a blue vest and a metallic green, smooth-barrel scope-mounted plasma pistol. "All right. Now to sneak out of here. Hmm…" He looked around the room. "Door, bed, closet, clothes bureau…vent shaft…"

Ding! Light bulb went on.

"Vent shaft! All right!" Rupert jumped onto the clothes bureau and then up to the vent shaft, kicking it. It busted open. Then he jumped back up and into it, crawling in quickly. "Okay." He thought. "Gotta move fast…"

**WHO ARE YOU? CHARACTER BIOS!**

_Rupert von Hamsterviel_

The twin brother of Jacques, Rupert von Hamsterviel is a mostly pacifistic and friendly guy who has a penchant for pranks, playing musical instruments and creativity. He's very different from Jacques, who likes being evil a lot more than Rupert. He's also fairly naïve and a very gentle soul. Rupert is not very tough or much of a fighter, and until recently has been under the delusion that he is his brother. Now that he knows who he really is, he's determined to set things right.

_Jacques von Hamsterviel_

The twin brother of Rupert, Jacques von Hamsterviel graduated from E.G.U with Rupert and Jumba, and can he be very mean, nasty person who also has a penchant for devising master plans to ensure that he comes out on top from anything to a sports game to ruling the galaxy. He's not too creative, and HATES being called anything but a hamster. Despite his general attitude, he's not completely evil and really does love Rupert and care about Jumba.


	64. Aloha Oe, Pt 3

**CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO**

ALOHA OE, PT. 3

While Rupert was sneaking through the vent shaft that would lead him to the air manifold which in turn would lead him out of the ship, Lilo, Rueben and Gantu were sneaking down a hallway. "The loading dock region of Galactic HQ has plenty of ships still here." Gantu said. "Back-ups for escapes and such. We should be able to sneak a ship out of here and escape…"

Unfortunately, while they were in mid-corridor, a Leroy clone carrying two yellow plasma pistols rounded the corner and saw them. His eyes widened. He pointed at them. "Akoota tay!" He shouted. "Prisoners escaping!"

"**_RUN_**!" Rueben screamed, and they did an abrupt about face, running down the hallway and rounding a corner as plasma fire struck the walls around them. A squad of three clones were chasing after them as they ran. They rounded a corner. The clones were right behind.

BUT, when the CLONES rounded the corner though, the escaping prisoners were gone. The clones looked at each other. "Iki taba. Aba nutcha!" "Yeah, I see, they're gone. They must have gone this way!" The three went off in a different direction.

Up above, hanging on tight to a rafter beam, was Rueben, holding onto Gantu and Lilo with two other hands. "625, where did you learn to climb ceilings?" Gantu asked, obviously impressed. "The name is _Rueben_." Rueben told him. "And I always knew how. I just ain't done it in years!"

Pretty soon they had managed to find their way to safety. Or so they thought. They'd made it to the entrance of an airlock. Gantu stood there, at the control panel for the door. "Once we're through this airlock, it's clear sailing to the spaceport."

He pressed "open". The door swished open.

"Ootaba!" The leader of a five-man squad of Leroy clones growled. "Freeze!"

"Uh…oh." Lilo groaned. Gantu, Lilo and Rueben slowly backed up towards the wall while the clones advanced. One turned to another. "So what? We shoot them; claim we did it in self-defense or something?"

The leader shook his head. "No, no, no. We'll just shoot them and say they were…heh…resisting arrest!"

"Jerkholes!" Lilo shouted. But even she knew things were looking bad. They needed a miracle.

Then something very weird happened. The air above them all, on the ceiling, seemed to ripple and sway, as if it was the surface of a pond that had been disturbed by…

Ba-boom!

Bonk! A rock flew out of the ceiling from a portal of some kind, bopping a clone on the head. It flew off and then rolled across the floor over to Lilo, who picked it up.

"Hey, this looks like Pleakley's rock…only someone took a _bite_ outta it?"

BA-BOOM!

This time something a whole lot bigger came out of the portal…the G.A.C.C carpool van! It skidded across the floor, through the doorway to the bridge of the airlock. The clones scattered and ran away, fearing for their lives, while Lilo, Gantu and Rueben ran towards the van as it opened up, revealing a very happy and very much alive Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley.

"Stitch!" Lilo shouted, running to him and hugging him tight. Gantu quickly shut the door behind them. "How did you get here?"

"Long story." Stitch said. "No time explaining!" Jumba told them. "Hurry and get in!" Pleakley shouted. Rueben jumped in, crawling across Pleakley's legs. "Hey, OTHER side." Pleakley told him. Stitch and Lilo climbed in as well. Then Gantu leaned down to get in.

"AAA! Gantu?" Pleakley shouted in shock/horror. Jumba blinked. Stitch growled.

"No time explaining!" Lilo shouted. "We've got to get back to Earth to save the cousins!"

"Well…how are we all gonna fit?" Pleakley asked.

"I could ride in the backety-back!" Gantu suggested.

Then the doors were suddenly blown open by three Leroy clones who leveled their pistols at the group. "Make a single move and we blow you all to kingdom f--king come!" The leader shouted.

"_Hey_!" Lilo shouted. "Watch your mouth!" Stitch stepped forward, ready to fight.

The clone gave her a nasty growl. "Shut up, you little brat. And don't bother trying anything, these guns can atomize you in seconds, 626! You're outnumbered and-"

KA-SHOO! KA-SHOO!

The clones next to the leader dropped down, unconscious from plasma pistol shots. The leader turned around and came face to face with a gun-wielding albino alien rodent in a blue vest.

"You're _fired_." He quipped, pulling the trigger. The clone was blown through the air. He spiraled down, hitting the bridge floor and groaning. Rupert blew smoke off of the pistol.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'd sure as shooting like to get outta here. Whaddya say, Jumba?"

Jumba blinked. "Rupert? Is…is that you?"

"Jacques is happy now." Rupert told them. "He's happy if _I'll_ be happy. And fixing that huge mistake named Leroy will make me VERY happy. That red menace was going to betray me anyway…and worse still, he's rounded up the people of Kokaua Town at the stadium along with the experiments!"

Lilo gasped. Gantu's eyes narrowed. "Why should we trust you?" He asked.

Rupert held up his gun. They all gasped. He was going to…

He put it away, into a vest pocket. "Nick helped me when I needed it. I think I died once before to stop Leroy. I'm willing to do it again. Now are we gonna save your _ohana_ and your home or not?" He asked them. "Who's ready to kick some butt?"

Stitch grinned. Lilo smiled. "All right!" She shouted, punching the air. "Let's rock a hula!"

The carpool van took off through the air a few moments later, bursting through a hole in the ceiling and jumping into hyperspace. Destination…

Earth.

Speaking of which…

"This is bad. Very bad. It's like 'Nam all over again!" Moses mumbled.

"Well _that_ explains a lot." Mr. Jameson thought out loud.

Mrs. Hasagawa tugged on Moses's arm. "Excuse me, but uh…what's going on?" She asked. "So, Parkinson's disease has finally taken its toll?" Mr. Jameson asked, snickering.

Keoni kicked his dad in the shin. "OW! OW-OW-OW!" "Don't be an a-hole!" Keoni told him. Mr. Jameson groaned. Victoria looked at Keoni. "What's going on?" She asked. "What on Earth IS happening?" "I…I dunno, Victoria, I…I just know we're in a lot of trouble…"

As it were, all of townsfolk of Kokaua town were there, at the barrel of very nasty-looking plasma guns. In front was the Omega Leroy, laughing evilly with four guns of his own. And all around were clones of him, all eager to begin the massacre, as well as E-Vile, who regarded the rest of his cousins with an uncharacteristic, silent glare. Angel, Scratch and Nightwing were closest to him and all looking right at him. Finally he turned away. The experiments, Stitch's cousins, were all there, mixed among the townsfolk, and all of them were just as scared as the humans, perhaps even MORE so.

"Oh…I wonder what they got in store fer us?" Bonnie asked Clyde, fear evident on both their features. Nosy spoke up. "I heard that Leroy's gonna take over the entire galaxy and he brought us here to get rid of us all!" He shouted.

"This…this isn't happening…" Myrtle muttered, holding tightly onto Gigi. Her posse was also there, shivering in fear.

"Oh it's very, VERY much happening." Leroy told her, walking over to her, putting down two of his guns. Myrtle gasped as he gently brushed her cheek. "Hmm…you'd look better without those glasses…and I wonder…hmm…how about we make a little…deal?"

"Deal? Wh-what kind of deal?" Myrtle asked.

Leroy was undressing her with his eyes, and she knew it. "You come with me, agree to be my personal toy…and I'll spare your life, and the lives of your friends and family." He said. "I could always use a few slaves, and starting up a harem sounds like a nice idea."

"H-harem?"

"Oh right." Leroy scolded himself. "Silly me. You don't know what that is. Well it's simple. Come with me and submit yourself utterly to me and you and those you care for live. Don't…and all of you die."

Myrtle looked down at Gigi who looked up at her. "Wh-what about Gigi?"

Leroy threw back his head and laughed. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa! I don't like dogs. She's too annoying, and I don't want any of the experiments alive once I'm through with them. I've already copied all of the powers I need and I don't need any…competition. So she'll have to die, no matter what you decide. Now come on. Make your choice."

Gigi looked up pleadingly at Myrtle. Myrtle didn't speak for a few minutes. Then she finally glared with such fury that Leroy took a step back. She spat on the ground. "Yeah right!" She shouted, shaking her fist at the creep. "I don't trust you at all…and I'm not leaving Gigi behind! That's what _ohana_ is about, and Gigi is my _ohana_!"

Leroy flinched twice.

"Yeaaah!" Her posse agreed. "And she's part of our _ohana_ too."

Leroy growled angrily.

"And ours!" Scratch said defiantly. "What you try to do to one member affects everyone else, you sick freak. You can't always get what you want." "Be gone. Trouble us no more." Page snarled with righteous fury.

Leroy sneered at Myrtle. "You should have given yourself to me. Now you'll die along with the experiments. SEPARATE THEM ALL, NOW!" He barked out to his security forces. "ANYONE WHO DOESN'T DO IT AND FAST GETS _**DEHYDRATED**_!"

The clones swept through the crowd, separating the humans and the experiments. Leroy himself saw to it that Myrtle, Victoria, Keoni and their loved ones were all together with the experiments, all doomed to die. Then he saw one clone was busy talking with another clone, and not paying attention.

"I THOUGHT that I TOLD you to _**get to work**_!" He shouted, aiming one gun at the clone and firing. A bright blue, sizzling beam of energy shot out and hit the chatting clone in the back. E-Vile gasped in horror as the clone began to scream and scream, as his body became compressed, slowly but surely into a fleshy ball…and then, a few horrific and graphic moments later, with a "BOINK", he became an experiment pod. Leroy picked it up and tossed it in the air a few times before swallowing it. "Mmm." He said, grinning and picking his teeth with a claw. "Yummy."

E-Vile looked away, grinding his teeth and clenching fists. That had been far too cruel. Nobody here deserved anything like that.

Gigi barked angrily at Leroy. Myrtle looked around, fear filling her up from head to toe. "It's okay, we're…we're just having a nightmare." She told Gigi and her posse.

Squeak suddenly wouldn't stop talking, which, unfortunately, was his sole function. "You know I had a nightmare once I had to go back to school and take a test on spaghetti but I hadn't studied spaghetti I studied rigatoni and I was late for _class_ and I was _naked_ and fell of a _cliff_ and I tried to scream and I couldn't…"

TZOW! A laser bolt raced towards him. He jumped in surprise and trembled as Leroy growled at him. "Choobi chiba!" He snarled, which roughly translated into a comment about how inferior the insulted was.

"Nick'll stop you." Crystallene spat. "Yeah, even if Stitch is gone, Nick will stop you!" Page shouted.

Leroy snickered. "Oh…you mean…THAT Nick?" He turned around, pointing at a very frightened, outnumbered kid in a green polo shirt who was wearing a blue vest and white sneakers and blue jeans. "Um…hi everyone." He said, face red with embarrassment. "I, uh…messed up big time." He muttered.

He was thrown through the air and landed with a thud on the ground. "Ugh…" He groaned. "Feel…sick…they stuck a needle in my arm, I hate getting shots…times like these…wish I had super powers…"

He staggered up and groaned, falling back. Heartwing and Nightwing raced over to him. "They must have given him enough tranquilizer to knock out a mucus-eating beeblebrox." Nightwing muttered. Heartwing placed his clawed hands over Nick's heart and concentrated. His hand glowed, and a few moments later Nick slowly got up.

"Uh…what the? Oh no…we gotta get outta-" He looked around. "I…I can't carry all of these people out at once, oh God, oh **God**, what am I gonna do?" He gasped.

E-Vile glanced briefly, his expression unsure, at Nick...and then he looked away. Leroy looked up, grinning. "Oh look, my ride's here." He snickered.

The BRB-9000 slowly floated above the stadium. People shrank back in horror. Experiments gasped. Myrtle, trembling, hugged Gigi tight as Gigi yapped and yapped in anger. The yapping echoed through the stadium, nobody else was making a sound.

Leroy grinned tossed the guns aside as another clone stood in to take his place on the ground. Then he leapt up onto the stands, hopping from chair to chair. Then he stood on top of the battleship a few moments later, a huge, evil smile on his face.

"Oh, it's an evil dream come true! And it was so EASY! And now all of you inferior 626 experiments…"

"Actually, 625 if you subtract Stitch and Rueben and you can't leave out E-Vile-"

"Ah, _whatever_!" Leroy snarled. He turned towards the ship's bridge. "Lock cannon on target!" He shouted.

"It's just a dream, just a dream, not happening, not happening…" Myrtle said over and over, covering her head.

A huge cannon was extended from the ship on a pole. It was lifted up and positioned towards the experiments. It was circular in shape, with a huge central firing hole in the middle, and then eight other smaller turrets sprung up around it, and three even smaller firing turrets sprung up on THOSE turrets. The main cannon extended out from its base, ready to fire.

The experiments gasped. Victoria and Keoni held their parents tight. Myrtle's mother raced over to protect her daughter in a vain attempt to shield her. Scratch hugged Carmen, who muttered "_Hesus Christo_" under her breath. Gigi glared angrily at Leroy. Page was reciting the Lord's Prayer. Sparky, Crystallene and Gunner all ducked. E-Vile looked right at Scratch, who looked intently into E-Vile's eyes. "Well?" He seemed to be saying.

E-Vile turned away, shaking slightly. He didn't know what to do…

"We're all gonna DIIIIIIE!" Someone screamed.

Nick's eyes widened. "**Jesus Christ**..." He gasped, hand going to his necklace. A single tear fell down his cheek, gently dropping to the ground.

_Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, Keoni, Victoria, Mom, Dad, Dave, Barbara, Jordan, Kelly...my ohana...I am so, **so** sorry..._

"What was it you stupid Hawaiian people say? Ugh. As much as it pains me to have to speak your language, I believe it fits now." Leroy said, a cruel smile lighting up his features. "_Aloha_…as in…_**goodbye**_."

VA-VOOOOM!

A hyperspace portal suddenly sprouted in the sky. "**Cowabungaaaaa**!" Stitch shouted, as he fired off the carpool van's lasers at the cannon. The cannon was blasted to pieces and Leroy fell off the ship, screaming, falling to the ground, right towards one of his most loyal clones…

Who stepped to the side.

Hey, nobody ever said loyalty was Leroy's strong suit! What did you expect?

Leroy hit the ground face first, with a loud THUD. "Haaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" The clone laughed…

And then the cannon fell and squashed them both with a "KATHOOM", its exposed circuitry sparking. E-Vile laughed so hard he fell onto his back, unable to stop for several minutes.

The carpool van landed on the ground and Stitch, Lilo, Pleakley, Rueben, Gantu and Jumba piled out. The experiments and the people in the stadium all cheered while the clones in the stadium simply watched, unsure of what to do.

Jumba grinned. "Heh-heh-heh! Who knew carpool vans came with such sophisticated weapons systems?" "That's why G.A.C.C. rocks." Pleakley said proudly. "Be true to your school!" Lilo laughed.

Nick ran over to her and hugged her. "LILO! You're okay! You're ALL okay! Frickin' A!"

Lilo hugged him back. "It's great to see you're okay too. That everyone's okay!"

"And more importantly, not dead!" Mr. Jameson shouted, jumping up and down. "We're alive, we're ALIVE! Oh happy day!"

"Lilo…" Nick began to say. "There's a secret I've been keeping for a while, I think I should-"

"It's okay." Lilo told him.

"But…"

Lilo shook her head and held his hands, smiling happily at him. He melted under her gaze. "Nick, it doesn't _matter_."

Stitch smiled and ran to Angel. "I'm here." He told her in Galactic. "I would never _ever_-"

She suddenly grabbed his cheeks and gave him the biggest kiss he'd ever gotten. "Just shut up and kiss me back." She said. And he did. They stood there, hands holding tightly onto each other as they passionately kissed.

"_Awwww_." Nick and Lilo said. Victoria and Keoni held hands. E-Vile stuck his tongue out. "Ew. Love icky!" And Carmen and Scratch were _tongue_-kissing.

Eventually Stitch and Angel stopped. They turned to E-Vile. "Well, what are you going to do now?" Stitch asked him in Galactic.

E-Vile rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I dunno, I mean…being evil's the only thing I've ever been good at. It's all 627 and E-Vile have known. I don't even know who I _am_ anymore…"

"Wait, 627 and E-Vile? Aren't you botha them?" Carmen asked. "What's goin' on?"

E-Vile shook his head. "Nah, they're not me. Well, not anymore. Well…I thought not. I don't know anymore. They're me, but they're not me…what's that supposed to mean?"

Jumba rubbed his chin. "Hmm…is possible you suffer from multiple personality disorder, which would most certainly explain outbursts, mood swings and extremely antisocial behavioral patterns." The orange experiment suddenly growled, his spikes, extra arms, extra head and antennae sticking out. His eyes became wild. "Let's just fight, and settle the score once and for all! I'm an evil, evil, evil, evil-"

Then Angel suddenly walked over and kissed him on the cheek. "I think you'd make a really nice guy if you'd clean up." She told him softly. "We're still willing to wait for you, okay? We love you. We're family."

"Ih! Cousin _ohana_." Stitch agreed happily.

"**Oh**." The orange experiment uttered. His head, arms, spikes, the works, all went back into his body and he stood there, blinking. Then he suddenly began to cry. Tears of genuine joy fell down around him, as he broke into a smile. "That's…that's all I ever wanted to hear." He said softly, his voice now no longer rough as it had been, no longer nasty in its tone. He nodded. "Okay…I guess…I'll give it a try…if…if you'll take me."

Nick and Lilo and Stitch all held hands. "Of course we will." They all said. "But we gotta give you a name." Lilo told him. "How about…Legion? Since you've got many inside you what with your MPD?" The orange experiment scratched his head. "Hmm. "Legion", huh? I…I like that! All right, from now on, I'm Legion!"

(Marvel don't sue me!)

Then, Leroy punched his way out of the cannon. He turned angrily on them. "You…you stupid little…how on _Earth_ did you escape?!? And why didn't my guards stop you!?! And you, E-Vile, why on Earth are you CRYING?"

"Gantu and 627 turned from bad to good…and Jacques is back to being Rupert again."

Rupert hopped out. He looked nervously around and waved shyly at the experiments. "Um…hi."

Most regarded him with an angry eye. Then Rupert suddenly realized something. "Hey, where'd Gantu go?"

"Yeah, where IS Gantu?" Lilo asked.

"Oh. Heh. He's still in backety-back." Jumba laughed. He pressed the "open trunk" button on the carpool keypad. Gantu fell out of the trunk. "Thanks." He gasped, standing up. "Wasn't that really uncomfortable?" Nick asked. "Trust me, when compared to being stuck in a containment capsule…it's quite roomy." Gantu told him.

"WHAT!?!" Leroy shouted, furious. "You three are working for THEM?!? I could expect it from the messed-up rat, but…but from you E-Vile, and that dumb fish?"

"MY NAME'S LEGION." He said angrily, stamping his foot.

"Go figure, huh?" Nick laughed slightly. "Life's funny that way. They used to be our biggest pains in the rear, and now they're gonna be helping us!"

"Yep. He's on the _aloha_ team now!" Lilo said proudly.

Leroy flinched again. "Grrr…"

"You'll never understand the meaning of _aloha_ OR _ohana_, will you?" Nick asked. "And _you_ almost didn't either." He told Rupert.

"Um, don't they mean…" Rupert started to say.

"That was a rhetorical question." Gantu told him.

"Oh. Sorry." Rupert apologized.

Leroy groaned, rubbing his sore head. Then he sneered. "Then you'll die by my hand." He said, pulling out the disintegrator gun he'd had. "I'll kill you first, you annoying little brat." He told Lilo.

Nick and Stitch immediately got in front of her. "You want her, you'll have to go through us!" They both said, although Stitch said it in Galactic. "And if you want my son…you'll have to go through **me**." Jumba growled, stepping in front of Stitch, arms raised.

Legion blinked slowly, taking it all in.

"And if you want to harm my father and my brother…you'll have to go through ME!" Scratch snarled, getting in front of Jumba, raising all of his arms.

Leroy growled, frowning angrily. Then he grinned.

"Fine then…the more the merrier." He raised his gun…

"**NOOOOO**!" Legion shouted, jumping at him. He struggled with Leroy, growling, snarling, extra arms popped out. Leroy spat in his eye. "Get off, you inferior fool!"

"No chance in hell!" Legion swore violently, wiping it free. His extra head popped out and bit Leroy on the shoulder. Leroy screamed in pain and the weapon was knocked away into the crowd of experiments…

Just…as…it…discharged.

It struck Legion in the shoulder as it was sent spinning through the air. Legion screeched and one hand went to his shoulder, as he stumbled back towards the others. Scratch rushed forward, catching him. Legion looked up, slowly shrinking, body compacting, it was a horrible sight.

But he was smiling.

"I…I feel _good_…" He said. And then, a moment later, with a "POP", he became a blue capsule that read "627" on it in dark blue letters.

Scratch held the dehydrated Legion in his clawed hand. Then he held it to his chest, tears going down his cheeks, crying silently. Nightwing patted him on the back. Jumba held out his hand and Scratch gave it to him.

Nick cracked a sad smile. Experiment 627, AKA Legion, had done what he'd done in the future…stood up for someone he cared about.

He pointed dramatically right at Leroy. "All right, Leroy! You've hurt enough people in this sick game of yours! Now it's time for Team _Aloha_ to play…and we play to WIN!"

Growling some more, Leroy crossed his arms and closed his eyes thoughtfully. Then he sneered. "…you're not the only ones with a team, you know. I have my _own_ army…"

"Which used to be mine. Good riddance to bad rubbish." Rupert said.

Leroy tossed him a "I will kill you" look and went on. "Well, I have them riding…_in the frontedy-front_!"

The BRB-9000 lowered its frontal bottom section, just below the bridge. It split off from the ship and slowly came down on jets. This was the garrison section of the ship, filled to the brim with Leroy clones, all growling and ready to fight.

"10,000 Leroy clones can't be wrong!" Leroy laughed madly.

It landed. They all let out a harsh snort of air. And there were so many of them that it became a small gust, whipping hair, fur, and in Pleakley's case antenna, back in the air.

"Aw, dang!" Nick exclaimed.

"This…is bad." Lilo commented.

"Naga bootifa." Scratch replied.

"I don't want to leave the world _this_ way." Nightwing muttered.

Heartwing's eyes had become slits. He clenched his fists, growling, wings extended.

"We're all gonna DIE!" Myrtle screamed.

"I've always loved you." Mr. Jameson told Pleakley.

"Well _that_ explains a lot." Moses thought.

Officer Kahiko moaned. "I wasn't trained for THIS."

"Nani, you got a plan?" David wanted to know. Nani shook her head, frightened.

"Am calculating odds of victory at…ehh…" Jumba counted on his fingers and did some quick mental calculation. "Zero."

"Well…what are we gonna do?" Rueben asked.

Gantu shrugged. "I dunno."

Pleakley blinked. "I wish I'd taken those self-defense classes." He said.

Charlie covered his head and ducked into a ball. "Oh dear oh dear oh dear…"

Page led Crystallene, Sparky and Gunner in prayer. "Our father who art in Heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done…"

And Stitch?

Stitch quickly rolled over to face his cousins. As the human inhabitants of Kokaua Town watched, he spoke quickly with his cousins.

"Ahtooki ba waba! Achi baba! makamaka minichi! Bonaba…" He turned and pointed at the clones, eyes filled with determination.

"**Iki BABA!!!**" The cousins all let loose a roar of agreement and rushed at the army. It was "cry havoc and let slip the "dogs" of war" at its best.

"I have NO idea what you said, but I'm _with_ you! SNOOTH TO THE MOTHERTRUCKING _**NOOOOOOTCH**_!" Nick shouted, rushing forward.

"Let's ROCK A HULA!" Rueben shouted, running alongside Gantu.

"LET'S KICK THEIR ASSES!" Scratch shouted as he ran to join his cousins. Heartwing bounded right behind. "Booyah!" He roared. Nightwing followed right behind, grinning in a feral fashion. "This…should be interesting."

"Everything will be all right!" Rupert proclaimed to himself more than to anyone else. "Gonna be a _HERO_!"

And so the great battle began! Cannonball leapt around, squashing clones with ecstasy. Splodyhead fired off blast after blast from his nose, sending clones flying through the air. Phoon was blowing them every which way. Heat, Thresher and Plasmoid teamed up, with Heat burning clones right at Thresher who knocked them clean through the air towards Plasmoid, who lit them up with his tail blasts.

Bonnie sneakily stole a gun from right out of a clone's hand. And then another and another rand another! And the moment they were disarmed, Clyde would bash 'em over the head with his metal arm. Amnesio zapped and zapped, Slushy blew a frigid blast of ice that froze a huge group of clones in place and Elastico wrapped himself around a group, flinging them away and out of the stadium. Rupert blasted with his gun over and over, not opening his eyes, yet amazingly hitting clone after clone, going "Yaaa-yaaa-yaaa-yaaaaa!!!" as he fired.

Finally he opened his eyes. A bunch of unconscious clones lay around him. "Oh wow." He remarked. "Did you just say "oh wow"?" Nick asked. A clone leapt at him, but he stepped to the side and grabbed its tail, throwing it hard to the ground. "Uh…yeah…" Rupert said, kicking the clone in the face while it groaned on the ground. They turned and noticed one clone was shaking its butt in victory as a defeated-looking Jumby groaned next to Dorkifier. "Hmm…hey Nick…are you thinking what my vast brain is thinking?" "Kick 'em in the butt?" "Kick him in the butt."

"AQUA KICK!"

**BOOM!**

The clone went flying through the air and through the goal posts of the stadium. Rupert gave him a thumbs up. "Niiiice." He complimented.

Richter, not one to be left out, whammed his tail into the ground. A chasm opened up and dozens of clones fell in. Yin and Yang were blasting every which way, and when a group of clones tried to fire blasts at Slugger, he lived up to his name and belted them right back! Kixx was facing down a foursome of clones. "Bring it." He muttered. They jumped at him, and he whizzed around and around, knocking them away in a purple, four-armed tornado of fury. "Touchdowwwnnnn!" Squeak exclaimed.

Myrtle and Gigi weren't doing too well. They were on the run from a particularly angry clone, who kept chasing after them. "Get back here so I can kill you!" It shouted. As if! Myrtle could do little but scream and run….then she ran right over Yang, stepping over him. Yang blinked. "What the?"

Then the clone stepped on him. "HEY! GET OFF!"

BABOOM! The clone flew into a porta-potty. _Ouch_!

Outside of the porta-potties, Frenchfry faced down a clone who was advancing on him. "_En guarde_!" He exclaimed, thrusting his spatula at the clones face. The clone stepped back. "What on Earth is THAT supposed to…"

"Watch!" He bent it far back. "Oooo!" The clone exclaimed. WHAP! It struck him in the face. "Ow-ow-ow!" The clone shouted, rubbing his sore face and staggering away. "Viva la resistance!" Frenchry cried out, jumping on him in a tornado of mustachioed fury.

"And here I was thinkin' the French couldn't fight!" Heckler snickered.

Ploot and Shortstuff had their hands free, batting clones here and there. Crystallene focused all she could on the grass below her and it became crystallized. Scratch and Rueben all lifted hunks up and began to cut them into weapons. Soon they were armed to the teeth. They rushed at the army, batting, slicing, dicing, hitting. Page, meanwhile, had possessed a clone and was whacking the crap out of it...er, I mean, whacking the crap out of himself? Uh...I...oh, you know what I mean!

"Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!" Page taunted.

Houdini found himself surrounded. "We've gotcha now!" The clones laughed. They jumped at him…

BLINK! CONK!

They hit each other and fell to the ground. Houdini had turned invisible and had run away.

Melty, Nightwing and Heartwing were all together, facing down a large group of clones. Melty grinned at his co-patriots. "Us dragons gotta stick together. On the count of three…THREE!" They all let loose their respective elements of fire, darkness and light, and the clones were blown through the air. "We rock." Melty said. "Indeed." Nightwing agreed. "All RIGHT!" Heartwing yelled, punching the air.

Rueben was rolling around on the ground, punching and kicking a Leroy clone. Spooky had morphed into a One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater. The result wasn't pretty and Nani had to make Lilo look away and if I tell you exactly what happened I would not be able to sell this story at a Wal-Mart. Snooty unceremoniously tackled clone after clone, ramming into them hard, and Carmen?

Well, a clone had unceremoniously grabbed her butt from behind. "Oooh! Nice!" It said. Its buddies sniggered.

All of the other experiments around her, Scratch included, stood back.

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR **THAT**!" She shouted, morphing into her mutant form and going wild. Clones went flying through the air, blood and guts were EVERYWHERE, I kid you not! And Gunner was going nuts. He was armed to the teeth with a Mark 90 plasma cannon, Vulcan series! It was like a bazooka in the right hands…

Gunner's were definitely the right hands.

"This one's for Crystallene! And Snooty! And Tag! And Page! And even that friggin Sparky! YAAAAAAA!!!" He shouted, blasting here and there. There was rubble all around him, and a pile of blown-up clones. He climbed to the top and held his Vulcan Mark 90 high. "_**Wolverines**_!" He shouted. "_**Wolverines**_!"

But despite all of these brave efforts, things were kind of taking a turn for the worse. Before Yin knew it, she was out of water, and a clone grabbed her tentacles and tied them around her. "Yang, help!" She screamed. Yang turned to help her…but then his holes got plugged up and he was jumped on by a group of clones.

Stitch meanwhile, was punching, kicking and throwing clone after clone off of him. But suddenly he heard ray guns cock, and he realized he was right in the firing range of 4 clones, who all grinned nastily. "Finally, the great Stitch brought down!" One snarled.

"Boojibu!" Angel called out. She jumped through the air, kicking a clone right on the side of his face. Then she flipped, doing a handstand and then kicking off, kicking another clone away. Then she leapt into the air, antennae trailing behind her. She landed deftly right in front of them and slammed their heads together. Then she turned around and blew Stitch a kiss.

"Taka, boojibu!" Stitch said happily. Then he leapt back into battle, Angel at his side.

Hoilo, Nosy and Fibber were on the run from a horde of clones. They ran right towards Rueben, who had finally gotten rid of the one he had been tussling with. He had a huge stack of sandwiches in his hand, having found the sandwich stand. They ran behind the stand as the horde came close, but Rueben was ready. He tossed the sandwiches out at the horde and they slipped on peanut butter and jelly, sliding right into a hot dog stand, upsetting huge jars of mayo.

"Alas, the loss to dinner!" Rueben bemoaned.

Spike shot several dozen spikes right into some clone's rears, and they promptly staggered around, uttering gibberish. One clone picked up Boomer. "Take THIS!" He shouted, throwing him. But he obviously didn't know what Boomer did. The little boomerang experiment flew right back, whacking the clone on the head and knocking him out.

Babyfier got to work, dusting a small group of clones who soon became little babies. They all started whining and crawled off to find a bib, save for one who sat there and sucked his thumb.

"Awww…he's so CUTE!" Nick exclaimed, giving it a belly-rub. A clone tried to sneak up on him. But Nick suddenly grabbed him by the hands. "Huh?" The clone muttered.

"Swing your partner round and round them hurl 'em down onto the ground!" Nick exclaimed, doing just that. Then he jumped up into the air, glowing a brown aura. "GAIA CRUSH!"

"Aw, fu-"

BOOOM! The clone was now six feet under. Nick hopped out. A huge group of clones pointed at him. "He got number 8882! Come on, guys!" They charged at him. Nick held both of his hands out. "Okay, here we go, gonna give this a try!" Nick concentrated. "Earth, Metal, Fire, Lightning, Wind, Poison, Water, Ice, Darkness, Light…this better WORK!" His hands glowed brightly with all the colors of the rainbow. Points of light of each color spun around his brightly glowing hands.

"ELEMENTAL BLAST!" Nick shouted. He points of light converged and shot out in a huge, blasting beam of 10 colors, which slammed into the clone group, enveloping them in a dome of multicolored light which sent out rays of energy. A moment later it died down and the clones were on the ground, near-death. Nick had been blown back about two dozen feet from the blast, but he was otherwise okay. He stood up and then blew fake dust off his hands and then punched the air. "I KICK SO MUCH **ASS**!" He shouted.

Sparky was hard at work, zapping clones here and there. Clip also had her work cut out. When a clone was threatening Gigi and Myrtle (The latter screamed again) she suddenly leapt on him and with a snip-snip here and a snip-snip there…

He was shaved completely. He covered his privates and ambled off, face turning red with embarrassment. "The other guys are never gonna lemme live this down!" He mumbled.

"Nice one, cousin!" Gigi exclaimed. Myrtle's hands went to the side of her face. "You can **TALK**!?"

A clone zapped at her. "Look out!" Gigi shouted, jumping and pushing Myrtle down. It struck her and bounced off her body, striking Clyde. Bonnie ran to him. "Clyde, no!" "There's too many of them!" He groaned.

"Look out, Short Stuff!" Nick shouted. Four clones had fired grappling ropes around him. They tugged hard and pulled him down with a loud KATHUD. Nick looked around. The battle was taking a turn for the worse.

Plasmoid, Heat and Thresher were outnumbered and piled on. Hammerface, Sprout and Slugger were being pulled down as well. Page was suddenly trapped with Crystallene, Sparky and Gunner, as clones advanced. Rupert's gun had overloaded, and was now on the ground, smoking. He screamed and ran for his life as several clones chased after him. He ducked underneath mutated Carmen, who swiped them away, only to have a dozen more jump on her, pulling her down.

Stitch faced down the Omega Leroy. "Choobi chiba." He spat. "Meega nala qwista!" Leroy snarled. They leapt at each other. Tearing, clawing, biting…

"I beat you before, I'll beat you again you little-"

And then Stitch managed to grab Leroy's legs. He flung him into a porta-potty. Guess where he landed.

Leroy slowly opened the door, dripping toilet water and…well…other stuff. "_Ohhhh_." Nick groaned. "See that there? That is just plain **nasty**."

"I'm…going…to kill…you." Leroy spat out each word with incredible hatred and fury.

Stitch laughed and laughed…but he stopped quick when about 100 plasma pistols all got cocked in his direction. He was surrounded. "Uh oh." He groaned.

They fired.

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"** Stitch screamed as the blast sent his "fluffy" blue body flying through the air, far, far away…behind the stadium's stage area, where his family, friends, and the human residents of Kokaua Town were all hiding.

"Ow, my heaaaad…" Stitch groaned.

A few moments later…

**"AAAAAWWW DAAAAANNNNNGGGG!"** Nick screamed as he was thrown through the air, skidding to a halt where they were. "My buuuuuutttt!" Lilo looked out from the doorway at the chaos. "Guys, this is bad. Jumba, we need a little evil genius help here!"

"No kidding…I think they broke my buuuutt…" Nick groaned.

"HA!" Jumba laughed harshly. "If Jumba was REAL evil genius, would have been programming shutoff switch into original Leroy."

Everyone groaned. Then suddenly a clone appeared in the doorway.

"Well looky what we have HERE!" It snarled.

Nick looked at Lilo. "Lilo, I have to tell you, I've been meaning to tell you since-"

Then his watch sprang to life!

_There's no place I'd rather be…  
Then on my surfboard out at sea!  
Lingering in the ocean blue…  
And If I had one wish come true…  
I'd surf till the sun sets  
Beyond the horizon!_

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi  
Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

_  
Flyin by on the Hawaiian roller coaster ride!_

As the song played, the clone began screaming, grabbing his head, eyes turning completely neon green. Suddenly he fainted dead away before the song completely ended. Rupert blinked. "He…shut down!"

Nick looked at his watch. "So he can't stand hearing Hawaiian? OR this song?"

Jumba suddenly blinked, then snapped his fingers. "Ah-HA! Jumba IS evil genius! Nick, remember back when I was making some changes to 628 in lab, and wanted song to play?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah, and…I picked…Hawaiian Roller Coaster ride, that's IT! The reason Leroy banned Hawaiian in the future is that so much of it is in the song, and the song acts as a shutoff switch!"

Rupert nodded eagerly. "Yeah, that's why he was flinching when we mentioned "_aloha_" and "_ohana_"! He can't stand to hear it!"

"And I drove it in even deeper into Leroy while I was making him in the lab, that song was playing on that record you gave me!" Jumba laughed, smiling brightly at Lilo. "Hawaiian song of roller coasters is tied into synapse matrix! If he hears song again, will be shutting down faster than car wash in rainstorm, ah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!"

Lilo grinned. "All right! But uh…will it shut 'em ALL down?"

Jumba blinked. "Heh-heh…I don't know…"

"It COULD…" Rupert thought out loud. "The theory's sound, but…well, how are we gonna be able to get them all to hear it?"

Stitch pointed out at the stage equipment all around them. "Look! Look!" He exclaimed. Lilo beamed. "Are you thinking what I'M thinking?"

"Ih!"

"All right, let's do this!"

"If plan works, will be saved. If it doesn't…we're all dead." Jumba told them.

The denizens of Kokaua Town all gulped. "Hey, don't worry!" Nick told them. "Everything will be all right!" "Yeah! Ayel, sunshine boy!" Rupert told him. Nick held up his fist. "Knock!" "And LOCK!" Rupert and Nick did the knock-and-lock and turned to Lilo, Stitch and the others. "Rock and roll, baby!" Stitch exclaimed, pretending to jam on an electric guitar.

And so, a few moments later…

Jumba and Rupert were hard at work on the sound system. "Cranking up to evil 11, ha-ha-ha!"

"The stereos are plugged in!" Victoria and Keoni called out.

"We got all the guitars, regular and bass, all ready to play!" Stitch, Scratch, Rupert and Heartwing exclaimed.

"Drum sets ready!" Nightwing called out, standing with Rueben, Tag and Snooty.

"Ready to sing, girls?" Myrtle asked her posse. "Yeaaah!" They agreed.

"Gantu, get some fireworks going!"

"_Gladly_." Gantu said, firing his plasma pistol into the air. The fighting suddenly began to cease in the stadium as all eyes went to the stage. The lights were about to come flooding on, and the curtain...

Nick looked up at Pleakley and Lilo. Pleakley was getting the lights while Lilo was about to pull the cord that would let the stage curtain be swept aside. Pleakley turned it on but it shone right in his face. "AAA! Bright! Very bright!" He stepped to the side, rubbing it. The lights of the stadium flooded on! All was brightened up.

And as for the curtain, well…that was more problematic.

Lilo was tugging on the cord, but it wouldn't come free. "Darn it!" She shouted. She stood on the catwalk of the stage, getting on top and tugging hard as she could.

It worked…

But she fell off the catwalk, falling down through the air.

All eyes, be they clone, experiment, human and alien were on her as she screamed.

"_**AAAAAAAA**_!!!"

"**LILO**!" Her friends and family shouted.

Lilo fell down, down, down…

And then it happened.

Lilo closed her eyes and waited to hit…but something caught her in midair. She opened her eyes and felt a warm Hawaiian breeze against her face. She suddenly found Nick was holding tightly onto her…and more importantly, holding onto her in MIDAIR. They were flying!

"He can fly?!" Angel exclaimed.

"He can **fly**!" Heartwing cheered.

"He can **FLY**?!?" The Omega Leroy gasped.

"_Told you_ I had a secret." He said. "So…still think it doesn't matter?" He smiled. Lilo bopped him on the nose. "Ow!" "You fuddy duddy!" She told him. "Why didn't you tell us sooner? When did it happen?"

"The first time I touched Heartwing. I flew over to your hula dance recital but I was STILL late…and I can't really do it too well under pressure, so that's why I-"

"Hey, it's okay." She smiled, hugging him tight. "I always wanted a date with a superhero."

Nick flew back down as Stitch, dressed up in a black Elvis wig and in his favorite Elvis costume, came on stage while Lilo went back to get herself a guitar hula skirt on. Nick grinned as Stitch rose up onto the stage, smoke dancing all around him. The microphone gave some loud feedback. He cleared his throat.

"_ALOHA_, COUSINS!" He shouted. The clones all let out a collective "argh!" of pain.

He whipped out his guitar and played a few introductory lines, just to get the rhythm flowing. Then a string snapped. "Achoota!" He said, quickly changing the string with another from his pocket. He smiled charismatically at everyone in the stadium, while Nick brushed his hair back. He had a blue Hawaiian shirt on, white pants and sneakers that sparkled in the light, and a pair of kick-ass sunglasses.

"Hey! **Leroy**! Stop me if you've heard this one!" Nick counted from one to three in Hawaiian, and the clones flinched with each word. "_Ekahi, hookahi, elua, ekolu_! One, two, three! Time to **ROCK**!"

The music started up! Everyone began to jam!

**BGM: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride, by Jump5**

_Aloha, aloha e!!!! _

_'Ano 'ai ke aloha e!_

Everyone on stage sang out.

Now Nick stepped forward and began to sing, with Lilo right beside him. Nick sang first, then Lilo.

_There's no place I'd rather be…_

_Then on my surfboard out at sea!_

_Lingering in the ocean blue…_

_And If I had one wish come true…_

_I'd surf till the sun sets beyond-the-horizon! _

Lilo shook her hips to the song as she belted out the Hawaiian.

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi, _

_Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

Both of them came together in the center of the stage, smiling and singing at the cousins and the clones.

_Flyin by on a Hawaiian roller coaster **ride**!_

Several dozen clones began to short out, their eyes becoming neon green for a few seconds before they fell to the floor. And all the while, Stitch and Rupert and Scratch and Heartwing jammed on the guitars while Nightwing, Rueben, Tag and Snooty drummed away. "How is THIS for _aloha_!?!" Lilo laughed happily.

Myrtle and her posse took the stage, hula dancin'…and Victoria and Keoni and David were there too! David and Keoni were doing the fire dancing!

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi, _

_La we mai iko papa he na lu, _

_Pi'i na nalu la lahalaha,_

_O ka moana hanupanupa!_

_Lalala i kala hanahana…_

Now Keoni and David sang along!

_Me ke kai hoene i ka pu'e one!_

_Helehele mai kakou e!_ Victoria sang.

_Hawaiian roller coaster ride!_ Keoni sang as well, giving her a wink. Now THEY sang together!

_There's no place I'd rather be…_

_Then on my surfboard out at sea!_

_Lingering in the ocean blue…_

_And If I had one wish come true…_

_I'd surf till the sun sets beyond-the-horizon! _

Victoria sang out in Hawaiian!

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi, _

_Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

And then they joined Nick and Lilo in center stage as all four sang.

_Flyin by on a Hawaiian roller coaster __**ride**!_

The clones were shorting out EVERYWHERE! They were screaming and hollering, collapsing on the ground, smoke rising from their nostrils, ears, any opening, bodies convulsing…it was some kinda freaky…but FREAKING AWESOME! And now the cousins had joined in singing as well as some of the residents of Kokaua Town, who were also taking the stage and singing.

But now Lilo, Myrtle and Victoria stepped forward as one, going to the mike and whispering the next lines.

_Hang loose, hang ten, howzit, shake a shaka_

_No worry, no, there ain't no biggie braddah!_

_Cuttin' in, cuttin' up, cuttin' back, cuttin' out,_

_Frontside, backside, goofy footed, wipe out!_

And now Keoni and Nick stepped forward, with Stitch and Rupert going along as well!

_Let's get jumpin', surf's up and pumpin'_

_Coastin' with the motion of the ocean!_

_Whirlpools swirling, twistin' and twirling…_

ANGEL's voice rang out as she jumped on stage with her _ohana_, punching the air.

_Hawaiian roller coaster ride!_

And as the instruments jammed, the cousins all cheered and danced with the townsfolk, and clone after clone continued to drop! Omega Leroy screamed in a fervent mix of fury, dissapointment and pain, banging his head against the ground repeatedly. "NO! NO! NOOOO! I WAS SO **CLOSE**!"

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi, _

_Lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

Now EVERYONE sang!

_Flyin by on the Hawaiian roller coaster __**ride**_

Nick raised and pointed at the cousins, who sang on his mark.

_Aloha,__ aloha e!!!!_

Lilo pointed at the townspeople!

_'Ano 'ai ke aloha e!_

Scratch grinned and continued to rock as he Carmen out the next line.

_Aloha, aloha e!!!!_

And now Rueben, jumping on the stage in a pair of sunglasses, mike in hand, sang out. "_Hawaiian roller coaster ride_!"

"Ride!"

"Ride!"

"RIIIIDE!"

"BRING IT ON HOME!" Stitch shouted. The clones were all on the ground and beaten, only Leroy remained!

Myrtle and her posse with Victoria and Keoni! _There's no place I'd rather be! Then on my surfboard out at sea!_

The experiments on the stage! _Lingering in the ocean blue and if I had one wish come true! _

The aliens! _I'd surf till the sun sets beyond the horizonnnn!_

The townsfolk! _A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi lawe mai i ko papa he'e nalu!_

And finally, Nick and Lilo! _Flyin' by on the Hawaiian roller coaster __**ride**!_

_A wiki wiki mai lohi lohi _

_La we mai iko papa he na lu!_ All the others joined in. Leroy wailed as his body was racked with convulsions and energy, hands raised to the sky, balled into fists. "NOOOOO!" Then he began blubbering, babbling incoherently. He was on his last legs!

And now all of them sang with serious feeling!_ Flyin' by on the Hawaiian roller coaster __**ride**!_

Leroy was panting on the ground, almost beaten…

Nick flew over and landed right in front of him, pointing right at his face. He looked up.

"_Hawaiian roller coaster __**ride**_!" Nick belted out. Leroy let out a huge twitch, a gasp…and fell to the ground, all conked out.

They had won.


	65. Or Forgotten

**CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE**

…OR FORGOTTEN

It was a bright, bright day not only for all of Kokaua, or for the world, heck, not even simply for the whole Galaxy! If Leroy had pulled his scheme off, it would have meant a disaster of universal consequences.

And so, therefore, the day after, on New Year's Day, in 2006…

"It is with GREAT joy that I return to the Galactic Alliance Council." The Grand Councilwoman proudly proclaimed. She no longer hated her job. Anything was better than being a secretary for a rodent. Lilo, Stitch, Nick, Jumba, Pleakley, Nani, David, Gantu, Rueben, Victoria, Keoni, Rupert and every single one of the experiments were inside of the huge Galactic Council Hall. They all bowed at the Galactic Councilwoman. Or in the women's case, curtsied. Gantu stood behind the Grand Councilwoman with Rueben next to him. Gantu didn't do much but blink, but he kept stealing glances at Rueben, who patted him on his huge leg.

"Relax, blubber butt." Rueben told him. Gantu smiled wanly. Jumba was now wearing a different tie that he kept adjusting over and over, and Pleakley was wearing his professor's hat. Lilo was back in her lovely blue and white muumuu with the pink flower, and Nick was wearing his green polo shirt and blue vest outfit. Only now he was a lot less nervous.

"And it is with an even greater joy that we once again honor our greatest heroes!" The Galactic Councilwoman went on. All of the alien representatives cheered and hollered and whooped. The Grand Councilwoman turned to face Jumba, Nick, Pleakley, Stitch and Lilo. "How can we ever repay you? Especially Lilo and Captain Stitch."

Stitch held the hologram projector of the BRB-900 in his hands. His ears drooped slightly. "No captain." He said. "Just…Stitch." He said proudly.

"Am I to understand you wish to resign your commission?" She asked. Stitch handed it up to her. "Yes please. Stitch has found one place he truly belongs. On Earth…" He turned to Lilo. "With Lilo." And with THAT, he hugged her, and she hugged him even tighter.

Jumba blinked, and then smiled knowingly at Pleakley, who smiled back. "That being the case. Mr. Gantu, I would assume you would be interested in resuming your position as captain of the Galactic Armada."

Gantu's eyes went wide. "_Would I_?" He shouted, eyes all aglow with giddiness. "Why I'd…ahem." He collected himself and saluted. "Why yes, your eminence…on one condition."

"Condition?" The Grand Councilwoman asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gantu kneeled down and gestured at Rueben. "I'd like to request experiment 625…I mean, Rueben, as my galley officer."

Rueben blinked, taken aback. "No kiddin'? For real?"

"I've grown rather fond of your egg salad." Gantu chuckled.

"Granted." The Grand Councilwoman proclaimed. "And Jumba and Pleakley?"

"Eh, Jumba would like be returning to Earth as well." Jumba said, handing back his lab key politely. Pleakley's eye bugged out. "You would? But what about your lab?"

Jumba laughed and pulled Pleakley close, giving him a big smile. "Jumba is finally understanding." He turned to Lilo and Stitch, gesturing. _Ohana_…is more important." They beamed at him happily.

"Don't have to be evil genius to see that." He told Pleakley.

"Well then, I sure don't need a non-teaching teaching job." Pleakley said.

"Your point being?" The Grand Councilwoman wanted to know.

"Crazy head!" Pleakley exclaimed, throwing the hat to the ground. "I wanna go home!" He told her, hugging Jumba.

"And you?" The Grand Councilwoman asked, turning to Nick. "Do you also wish to go home?"

Nick turned to Lilo and the others. All of the experiments looked at him. Scratch brushed his hair back. A recently-reactivated Legion nervously jiggled his leg. Heartwing looked at him with huge "Bambi" eyes, and Nightwing's tail went up and down, whacking the floor.

Nick nodded. "Yes…but with them." He said. "I went through…God, I went through a lot with you guys, and if I gotta say goodbye…I want it to be a real _aloha_. And I want it to be back on Hawaii with all of you. I didn't know at first why I couldn't just leave and go back to my world. But you know…now I do."

"Is it the food?" Legion asked.

"The weather?" Victoria wondered.

"The sense of adventure?" Keoni thought out loud.

"The beautiful scenery?" David guessed.

"Or maybe the memories?" Charlie questioned, as he watched from above, sitting on a small, puffy white cloud that nobody could see unless they really, REALLY looked hard and believed there was a cloud there, above all of them. He had rocked back and forth on his bottom, looking down at all of them, eager to hear Nick's answer.

Nick shook his head. "No…" He turned to Lilo and the others, and although he was tearing up, his face was beaming brightly, like a star. "It's love, actually."

Lilo's cheeks turned red. The others also felt the love too, and a warm fuzzy feeling went around the hall. Rupert blew his nose on a tissue. "I…I just LOVE a happy ending!" He sobbed.

"So I just want to go back." Nick asked politely, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "If, uh, that's okay?"

Lilo nodded. "That's all I want too! To go back home…with my _ohana_!"

"Ih!" Stitch agreed.

The crowd went wild. Everyone applauded and cheered. The Grand Councilwoman looked slightly taken back, but then smiled warmly and nodded sagely. "Very well." She said.

And so, a few hours later, back on Earth…

All of the experiments had gathered for a group picture at Lilo's house. Jumba and Pleakley were there as well. Pleakley was in his usual orange and white dress, Jumba in his usual Hawaiian shirt (but he still wore the tie), Nani with David's hand around her shoulder as they smiled warmly at each other, and Stitch in the front. To the left side were Angel, Scratch, Carmen and Legion. To the right were Heartwing, Nightwing, Bonnie and Clyde…and a very reluctant Leroy, no longer in his uniform. He sulked as he sat on the railing of the stairs, letting out a "harrumph" when Nightwing told him to sit up.

Victoria and Keoni, holding hands, were there as well. Cobra Bubbles was also there, as well as Rupert. And Nick was helping Lilo with the camera.

"Okay, there. Fixed the tripod." He said.

"Give a bigger smile, Stitch!" Lilo asked. Stitch obliged, giving a toothy grin.

"Little closer to Nani, David!" Lilo then asked. David happily obliged. Then, who should come walking up the steps, but…

"Gigi? Yuki? Elena, Teresa…MYRTLE?"

"We _still_ think you're kinda weird. Both of you." Myrtle said, Gigi by her side and her posse behind her.

"Yeaaaah." The girls all agreed, only it wasn't quite as sarcastic this time.

Myrtle went on. "Buuuut…Gigi likes being part of an _ohana_." Gigi barked in agreement. "So…can we?"

Nick smiled. "Sure! Plenty of room, right Lilo?" Lilo nodded. "Always."

So Myrtle, Gigi and the three girls joined the picture. Lilo put her hands on her hips and gave an "I knew it" smile. As soon as Myrtle had taken her place with the others, Lilo called out "Okay, everyone, this is it! For the last picture in my book…"

She and Nick ran to fit between Nani and Stitch. Lilo in the center, Stitch to her right and Nick to her left. Nick and Lilo hung one shoulder around each other. Nick gave the peace sign and smiled happily. Lilo beamed. Stitch grinned. Myrtle found herself smiling as well, along with Gigi, as they also sat in the front row with the others.

"A group shot! The whole _ohana_! Everyone say…_alooooohaaaa_!"

"_**Alooooohaaaa**_!"

**SNAP!**

Everyone cheers. "All right! All done." Lilo said happily. Rupert looks down on the ground, sad. "Rupert, what's the-oh, right. You and all the Leroys…"

Leroy growled angrily. "Humph. "Oohana"…"

"…have to go to prison now."

Unfortunately for Rupert "Jacques" von Hamsterviel, this was indeed true. Whether or not he'd MEANT to do what he did didn't change what he'd done while he was under the delusion of being his brother. He'd have to be punished. But the sentencing had been pretty light under the circumstances. He had, after all, saved everyone along with Lilo, Stitch, Nick and the others. Lilo had spoken up, saying that if Rupert hadn't come when he had, Stitch would have been "atomized into dust, dust in the wind". And then _everyone_ would have been doomed. Besides, he'd also, according to Nick, personally taken down Leroy in the possible (not anymore, anyway) future. And besides, he needed more psychiatric help than time in a cell.

So Rupert had been sentenced to 18 years in jail. If he was lucky and very, very good, he'd get out in half that time, the Grand Councilwoman had told him. He would also be receiving psychological aid and would be allowed visitors…and he'd get to keep a few mementos. But he would have to start serving his time right after the group shot on Earth, she'd told him. Right now the Grand Councilwoman and a consort of Alliance guards were at the beach, waiting to take Rupert and the Omega Leroy to prison, where the clones were already locked up. Rupert sighed and fiddled with a spare string on his blue vest.

"Yeah, I've gotta go to prison with that red jerk. I guess I'm lucky I got off the way I did. And…really lucky I met all of you. I don't know if you can forgive me-"

"Hey man, if we hadn't gotten over it, y'all wouldn't have even BEEN here in this shot, dig it?" Tag told him.

"Yeah, we forgive you." Victoria agreed.

All the cousins nodded. So did Lilo's household. And nobody nodded more than Nick, who hugged Rupert.

"You take good care now, okay?" He said.

NICK…IT WILL BE TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE SOON AS WELL. I THINK IT'S TIME YOU…GREW UP, SO TO SPEAK.

"Grow up? Heh. Define growing up."

"What was that?" Myrtle asked, looking around wildly.

"Oh, that's just an omnipotent voice that's been helping Nick out. It's the reason Nick was able to come here." Lilo calmly explained. "Ih. Voicey." Stitch agreed.

DON'T CALL ME VOICEY! SHEESH. AND IN THIS CASE, GROWING UP MEANS GROWING OLD!

Nick nodded. Suddenly, with a "BOOM", rings of light appeared in the air above them. They hovered in the air. GO ON. JUMP TO IT.

Nick nodded again. He jumped into the air, flying up, higher and higher through the rings, and as he passed each one muscles bulged out, limbs became longer, he became taller, slightly less chubby, hair longer, face older (with some acne that looked more like freckles than zits) and his smile got bigger.

Then as he went through the last ring it glowed and all of them vanished as Nick floated down to the ground. The clothes he'd been wearing were still there, only now they were bigger. He smiled at them all.

"This is me at age 14." He said.

All of them went "ooh", "aah" and "ohh". Nick turned to Lilo.

"I still love you." He said.

Lilo smiled lovingly back at him. "Me too." She said.

Pleakley blinked. "Oh wow. You're TALL."

"I guess I am! Anyway, I guess I'll be seeing you around Rupert…I hope."

"Promise me you guys won't forget about me?" Rupert begged. Nick grinned knowingly.

"_Ohana_ means family. Family means-"

"Nobody gets left behind…_or_ forgotten!" Everyone said. Rupert beamed. "Th-thanks everyone. Well…I guess I'd better get going. WE'D better get going." Leroy grumbled. Nick, Lilo and Stitch all nodded. "Come on, let's go with them and see them off." Lilo said.

Myrtle sighed. "I'm gonna miss Milton…or was it Jacques…or Rupert?"

A few minutes later, the spaceship carrying Rupert, the Grand Councilwoman and the guards took off into the air. Rupert held a paw against the window for a few moments, looking down longingly. Then he waved at them, giving them a sad, and yet happy, smile.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Lilo asked.

Nick smiled. "Somehow…I think he's gonna be just fine." Nick told them.

**BGM: Jailhouse Rock, by Elvis Presley**

Rupert, playing a guitar, was in a double-split cell, with the clones of Leroy all around him. The original Leroy was across from him, tapping his foot the music. He simply couldn't resist the call of the music...

And Rupert began to sing!

_Warden threw a party in the county jail! The prison band was there and they began to wail! The band was jumping and the joint began to swing, you shoulda heard those knocked-out jailbirds sing, let's rock! Everybody let's rock! Everybody in the whole cell block…was dancin' to the jailhouse rock!_

_Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone! And Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone! The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom bang…the whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang, let's rock! Everybody let's rock! Everybody in the whole cell block…was dancin' to the jailhouse rock!_

Bob, the guard, joined in.

_Number 47 said to number 3, you're the cutest jailbird I ever did see! I sure would be delighted with your company, come on and do the Jailhouse rock with me, let's rock! Everybody let's rock! Everybody on the whole cell block…was dancin' to the jailhouse rock!"_

Then Rupert played the guitar solo. "Run, run, run!" The Leroy clones all around him were dancing.

Leroy finally couldn't help it. He joined in.

"Hmph."

_Sad sack was sittin' on a block of stone, way over in the corner weepin' all alone. The warden said "Hey buddy, don't you be no square, if you can't find a partner use a wooden chair", let's rock…everybody let's rock…everybody on the whole cell block…was dancin' to the jailhouse rock!_

Rupert nodded. "Yeah, that's it! But more "oomph", like this!"

_Shifty Henry said to Bugs "For Heaven's sake, no one's lookin' now's our chance to make a break!" Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said "Nix, nix, I wanna stick around awhile and get my kicks!" Let's rock! Oh yeah, everybody let's ROCK! Everybody on the whole cell block…was dancin' to the jailhouse rock!_

_Dancin' to the jailhouse rock! Dancin' to the jailhouse rock!_

Rupert ended it by jumping forward and sliding forth on his knees, ending the song. "Dancin' to the jailhouse rock!" Da-DA!

_Aloha…_

(Camera cuts to the pink logbook in Lilo's room. It's open to the last page, where the group picture is. Lilo slowly closes it.)

_Ohana…_

Lilo turns to Nick. "I'm glad you stayed for the group picture, and…and to see Rupert off." Stitch nods. "Ih." Lilo lowers her head. "I guess…you gotta go now."

Nick looks down at his shoes, as he rocks back and forth on the chair he's in. "Uh…yeah, I…I kinda do." He looks up. "Hey, Voice…will they remember me, or?..."

I'M…I'M SORRY, BUT IT WILL BE LIKE BEFORE, IN JOE'S WORLD. THEY WON'T REMEMBER YOU. ONCE YOU LEAVE, ALL THAT WILL BE CERTAIN IS THAT A HAMSTERVIEL IS BEHIND BARS AND AN EVIL EXPERIMENT ALONG WITH HIM. WHAT WILL BE KNOWN IS THAT A LITTLE GIRL AND HER _OHANA_ CAME TOGETHER TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, AND THAT A GROUP OF ALIENS FOUND THE ONE TRUE PLACE THEY ALL BELONGED…HERE, IN HAWAII.

"…"

IT IS THE WAY IT MUST BE. THERE'S JUST NO GETTING AROUND IT.

Lilo put her book away and jumped off her bed, stomping on the ground and pointing up at the ceiling, at the heavens, along with Stitch, who had all of his arms out, with the lower arms on his hips.

"Hey! That's not fair!" "IH!"

DON'T YOU THINK IF I COULD, I WOULD CHANGE IT? BUT I CAN'T. IT'S SIMPLY HOW IT MUST BE. THAT'S ALL, AND NOTHING MORE. NICK MUST LEAVE YOUR WORLD. ALL OF YOU WILL FORGET HE WAS THERE. YOU'LL GET USED TO IT…SOMEHOW.

Lilo teared up. "I don't want him to go! He deserves to stay here, or at least he deserves to be remembered! He's…he's _OHANA_!"

"_Ohana_ means FAMILY! Family means…"

"Guys…I know. But…I don't think you really WILL forget." Nick said. He got down on his knees and hugged them. "It may take a miracle, but I know you'll remember me."

Lilo rubbed her eyes. "P-Promise?"

Nick held her hand. "I promise." He held Stitch's. "Oketaka?"

"Oketaka." Stitch said. "We…wait for you."

Nick hugged them tightly and got up. They went down the elevator and down the stairs. Then they walked out the door, where the others were waiting. Nick walked down the front steps of the porch to the driveway. There were several clouds in the sky, and between two was a shining portal, like the one that had taken him to this world in the first place. It shimmered in the sunlight.

GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT, NICK. IT'S TIME TO SAY _ALOHA_.

Nick turned around. "Hey…Stitch? Nani? Jumba? Pleakley? All of you?"

Everyone but Lilo nodded. Heartwing couldn't stop crying.

"Take care of her." He begged them. They all nodded. Suddenly he got down on bended knee and held the hands of the one he loved so dearly, his girlfriend...Lilo. "And Lilo, if...if we aren't meant to be together, promise me th-that you'll find someone who will...who's gonna make you as-as...as happy as you made **me**...okay?" Lilo brushed some tears away...but nodded slowly. Nick held her hands to his face, breathing in her scent deeply, one last time. Then he floated up into the sky, flying higher and higher. As he flew towards the light, he turned around, and waved, face beaming once more. "_**Alohaaaaa**_!" He called out.

"_**ALOHAAAA**_!" They all yelled back...and there was not one unhappy face looking at him. Nick flew up, over the town. As people saw him, they all waved goodbye and shouted _aloha_ at him as well. Nick felt…happy…truly happy…and he entered the light…

And then, he was back at his house, on the couch. Jessie looked up at him from the ground with a "hurrr?". Nick rubbed her on the top of her head.

"Hey Jess." He said. Then he hugged her. "It's been longer than you think." He then got up and walked over to the door, opening it up and letting the relatively cool (compared to Hawaii) weather of New England bathe over him. "Hey Jess…find your ball! Go find your ball!"

Jessie grinned happily and took off like a dingo, running up the stairs, looking for a tennis ball. Nick smiled. Then something in the back of his mind wondered…

_Did it all really happen? Was any of it real? Or just a delusion brought on from the heat?_

_Maybe I've finally lost it, maybe I should lock myself up and-_

Nick looked down at his wrist. Watch was there…

And…and something else was…was on him…

His hand slowly rose up to his neck. He felt something smooth and circular in shape.

Grinning broadly, happily, with a lovesick smile, Nicholas Michael Grey looked over at the phone. He'd HAVE to call Matt up. And after David and Mom got back, he'd have a little surprise waiting for them. They'd be home soon. It would be nice to make them dinner. David did love pasta, and he could make some meatballs for him and mom…

Jessie bounded down the stairs, eager to play. Nick smiled and opened up the screen door, then walked outside with Jessie.

"Okay Jessie…**FETCH**!"

He knew, then and there, as that watch beeped once on his wrist, showing the time, and as that mood necklace hung around his neck, turning light green, he knew…

He knew he'd never ever leave the ones he loved behind. And he would never forget.

And somewhere, on a different world, a household and some close friends crowded around a kitchen table.

"Hey Nani, Pleakley, Jumba! Look! The logbook's all finished, right Stitch?"

"Ih!"

"Ooh, let me and Keoni see, Lilo!"

"Take a look, a group shot! There's you and Keoni, Victoria! And there's Myrtle and Gigi and her friends! And there's Nani, David, Jumba, Pleakley…"

"Me and boojibu!"

"You and Angel too, Stitch."

"Hey wait……who's that in between you and me, Lilo? The boy?"

"…I dunno…I don't remember him…"

"Stitch, are you remembering brown-haired, hazel-eyed, necklace-wearing boy? Are you knowing who he might be?"

"Naga. Meega naga nota."

"Hmm…nice vest and shirt combination. Not bad in style."

"Something's familiar about that kid, guys. I get the feeling I know him, maybe from school or something. He is around my age…"

"And he's older than me. Hmm…who is he? I don't remember him when we took the group shot."

"I guess we'll have to do the group shot over?"

"…naaaah. Something tells me it's perfect just the way it is."

"Ih."

**CREDITS!**

**BGM: Miracles Happen, Soundtrack Version, by Myra**

(As the music plays, shots are shown of various adventures that the gang's gone through)

_Miracles happen…_

_Miracles happen!_

_  
You showed me faith…is not blind!  
I don't need wings to help me fly!_

_  
Miracles happen…_

_Miracles happen!_

_I can't imagine living my life without you noooow…  
Not ever having you aroooouuund….  
We found our way out!_

_  
On you I can depend!_

_  
Don't have to look back to realize how far we've coooooome!  
There are a million reeaasoooons…  
I'm lookin up…  
I don't want this to end!_

_Nothing….  
Nothing should ever bring you down…  
Knowing…what goes around will come aroooouuuuund!_

_You showed me faith…is not blind!  
I don't need wings to help me fly!  
Miracles happen, once in a while…  
When you beliiieeeeeve!_

_  
Miracles happen!_

_  
You showed me dreams come to light!  
That takin' a chance on us…was right!  
All things will come with a little time…  
When youuuu beliiiiiieeeeeeeve!_

_There is no question…we found the missing pieces!  
Our picture is completed!  
It's fallen into place!_

_  
It's fallen into place!_

_  
This is out moment, you and I are looking up!  
Someone is watching over uuuus…  
Keeping me cloooose…  
Closer to you everydaaaaaaaaaay!_

_Nowhere…  
Nowhere on Earth I'd rather be!  
No one…can take this away from you and me!_

_You showed me faith…is not blind!  
I don't need wings to help me fly!  
Miracles happen, once in a while…  
When you beliiieeeeeve!_

_  
Miracles happen!_

_  
You showed me dreams come to light!  
That takin' a chance on us…was right!  
All things will come with a little time…  
When youuuu beliiiiiieeeeeeeve!_

_When you believe…_

_  
The soul is a shining light!_

_  
When you believe…_

_  
The heart has the will to fight!_

_  
You…can do a-ny-thing! _

_Don't be afraid…_

_  
We're gonna find our waaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaa-aaaaaay!_

_Ahh-aaah-aaah, faith is not blind…_

_Ahh-aaah-aaah…_

_Miracles happen!  
_

_Miracles can happen…_

_Miracles happen!  
_

_Miracles can happen!_

_  
You showed me faith…is not blind!  
I don't need wings to help me fly!  
Miracles happen, once in a while…  
When you beliiieeeeeve!_

_  
Miracles happen!_

_  
You showed me dreams come to light!  
That takin' a chance on us…was right!  
All things will come with a little time…  
When youuuu beliiiiiieeeeeeeve!  
_

_You showed me faith…is not blind!  
I don't need wings to help me fly!  
Miracles happen, once in a while…  
When you beliiieeeeeve!_

_  
Miracles happen!_

_  
You showed me dreams come to light!  
That takin' a chance on us…was right!  
All things will come with a little time…  
When youuuu beliiiiiieeeeeeeve!_

(Music ends with the picture of the group shot.)

**EXTRAS! **

**DELETED SCENES!**

Someone's singing in the shower. "Everyone's waiting…to see what you will do! Everyone's looking…at you! Everbody's working for the weekend! Everbody's-"

The curtain's drawn. Jumba screams like a woman and grabs it back. "Are you MINDING?!?"

**Boo-boop!**

Jumba is working in his lab with Pleakley. "All right. Now then, hand me the-the…"

"The what?"

"That thing, the-the…"

"What thing?"

"That thing, the squirty thing…"

"Want me to say it?"

"YES!"

**Boo-boop!  
**

"627, we have reason to believe you stole Mr. Jameson's wallet from the mall yesterday, while he was getting beaten up for being racist."

"No way, officer! I couldn't have done it."

"Why not?"

"I was buying pornography!"

"…right."

**Boo-boop!  
**

Mr. Jameson is there with Pleakley, who's wearing a tuxedo. "I…I've always loved you."

"I know."

He rubs the back of his neck. "But…I've never had the courage to speak about…well, my…my thing…"

"I know, but it's not right to deny who you really are!"

Mr. Jameson nods. He leans in. "Kiss me." He begs, softly. Pleakley leans in…

"AAAAA!" Pleakley woke with a start. "Oh, what an AWFUL nightmare!"

Jumba, who's sleeping right next to him in a king-size bed wakes up and looks angrily at him. "Going back to _bed_, noodle man!"

"Oh, Jumby…I need a hug!"

"AAAAAAAA!!!" 627 screams. "What's wrong?" 561 asks. "I had the dream again!"

"That settles it. No more pork rinds before going to bed."

**Boo-boop!**

627 and 621 are standing on a table, pretending to have guitars.

"…and they called themselves _Tenacious D_! That's right, me!...and KG!"

"That's me!" 621 laughs.

"We are…Tenaaaaacious Deeeeeeeeee! _EEE_! Come fly with me, fly!"

Gantu whacks his head over and over on the table he's at. 561 rolls his eyes. "Yet another fancy restaurant we'll never be able to go to again."

**Boo-Boop!  
**

Hamsterviel taps on the chair of his new desk. "All right, step into my office."

"Why?" Bob asks.

"Cuz you're friggin' fired!"

**Boo-boop!  
**

Kaiser sniggers at Angel, licking his lips. "I want to see your _tits_, my dear!"

**Boo-boop!  
**

In the hallways of school, Keoni looks at Myrtle. Her posse surrounds her, visibly weirded out. Keoni is weirded out as well.

"Um…Myrtle…somethin's new about you. You-uh...did you, you know?..."

"I did NOT have surgery! My chest is growing…its just puberty!"

"You're **TEN**!"

**Boo-boop!**

Clyde, in Cobra's jail cell, bangs on his dining table. "Where's-my-burrito? Where's-my-burrito?"

Cobra Bubbles groans.

**Boo-Boop!  
**

"You SURE they're on their way over here?" Cobra Bubbles asks Sneak, as they fly over a deserted-looking army base in Kuwait.

"Yessss."

"Could you stop twitching your tail?"

"Not really."

"Man…" Cobra groans to himself. "I'm getting tired of this motherf—king snake on this motherf—king plane!"

**Boo-Boop!**

In the future, Victoria and the others look up at the blown-open section of palace where Nick and "Kaiser Leroy" came from. They see Keoni's body. Victoria screams.

"Oh my God! He killed Keoni!"

"You **BASTARD**!" Stitch swears.

Leroy snickers. "Hee-hee-hee…"

**Boo-Boop!**

"Okay class. We're going to do a little bit of poem-reading in class. I know you've all worked hard to find your favorite poems. Remember, it was due today, and I hope you all finished your research. Lilo, you can go first."

"Ah-hem. Here is my poem, entitled "Wendy's Song"...from South Park!"

"Lilo, I don't think-"

_Miisssssses__ Landers was a health nut!_

_She cooked food in a wok!_

_Mr. Harris was her boyfriend_

_and he had a great big-_

_  
Cock-a-doodle-doodle!_

_The rooster just won't quit!_

_And I don't want my breakfast,_

_because it tastes like-_

_  
Shih Tzus make good house pets!_

_They're cuddly and sweet!_

_Monkeys aren't good to have_

'_cuz they like to beat their-_

_  
Meeting in the office,_

_or meeting in the hall!_

_The boss, he wants to see you_

_so you can suck his-_

_  
Balzac was a writer!_

_He lived with Allen Funt!_

_Mrs. Roberts didn't like him,_

_but that's 'cause she's a-_

_  
Contaminated water_

_can really make you sick!_

_Your bladder gets infected_

_and blood comes out your-_

_  
Dictate what I'm saying,_

'_cuz it will bring you luck!_

_And if you all don't like it,_

_I don't give a flying-_

"**LILOOOOO!"**

**Boo-Boop!**

At the local coffee house, Jumba, who went down to get some espresso, notices a certain agent of the secret shadow government. He goes up to Cobra Bubbles, who looks at him.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Sure you didn't killing anyone?"

"Shut the f--k up fat man, this ain't none of your godd---ed business!"

"Making me." Jumba sneers, cracking his knuckles.

"Want me to throw you out the window?!?" Cobra growls, cracking his neck.

"Liking to see you try!"

Pleakley gets between the two. "Now, now! That is ENOUGH! This has got to **stop**! I'm tired of your little rivalry, why don't we all just sit down and talk this out?"

"Nothing to talk about!"

"Yeah!"

FIFTEEN MINUTES AND SOME COUNSELING LATER…

"M-m-my father always had time for lab, never for son! And he experimented on my puppy Jumba was getting for birthday! Jumba was only 5 years old!"

"Eh-eh-eleven years ago, when I was…when I was just starting out in my work, I…I got captured and tied up and…and they…they stuffed a red gag ball into my mouth! They had a GIMP! They had a giiiiiimmpppp…"

"There, there…just let it all out…" Pleakley tells them, patting them on the back as they blow their noses with Kleenex.

**Boo-Boop!**

"So, you like movies, Sparky?" Kaiser asks Sparky, who's tied down to the floor. Leroy now has dentist equipment all around him. Sparky's mouth is held open by that kind of equipment. Gunner and Crystallene are tied down as well, awaiting THEIR eventual doom.

"Yaaaaw a muwa-fwuka!" Sparky manages to get out.

"Well? Do you?"

Sparkly blinks. "Wewww I gefff so!"

"My favorite…" Leroy holds up a very nasty-looking, custom-made dentist's drill, grinning evilly. "Is a movie called "Marathon Man"!"

"_Wuuuaaaaaa_!?!?"

"I'll be Sir Laurence Olivier, you be Dustin Hoffman, sound good?" He walks towards Sparky, the drill spinning.

"Oh cwaahhhppp!"

"Ees eet safe?"

"AAAA!"

_BRRZZZZZ_!

"Ees eet _safe_?"

"RAAAAAA!!!"

_BRRRRRZZZZAAAAHHHH_!

"Ees eet _**SAFE**_?"

"**WAAAUUUUUUUHHH**!"

**Boo-Boop!**

"Okay class. As you know, I asked you all to write a short paper on history, and on your favorite time era. Nick presented his yesterday, as did Lilo and Charlie. They all did very well. Now Teresa, you can go first, then Elena, then Yuki, then Myrtle."

"Thank you. Ah-hem. My work in entitled "Ancient Egypt". "The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah desert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the desert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain."

"Um…Elena? You can come up next."

"Ah-hem. "The Bible." "The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked "Am I my brother's son?". God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites."

"Eh…Yuki?"

"Okay. "The Greeks". "Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. The also had myths, which are female moths. Homer wrote "The Oddity", in which Penelope is the last hardship Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock."

"…Myrtle?"

"I did MY paper on "The Renaissance". "The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling Papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "Hurrah", and then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo."

Lilo is chuckling madly, and Nick's laughing so hard that he's pounding his desk, gasping for breath, almost falling out of his seat. The teacher bangs her head on her desk over and over, wailing. "Five years until retirement, teach!" Charlie yells out.

**Boo-boop!**

"Okay, we're going to be coming within range of Turo in a few minutes, everyone! And Scratch, keep your foot off that friggin' samoflan!"

"What the f--k's a samoflan?"

"Watch iiiiiiit!"

**Boo-boop!  
**

Jess Winfield watches a kid go into the cockpit. He's in one of the seats nearest to it. He hears this conversation:

"So Jimmy, you ever been in a cockpit before?"

"No sir, I've never been up in an airplane before!"

"Ever…seen a grown man naked before?"

"WHAAAAA?"

"You like gladiator movies, Jimmy?"

"Um…"

**Boo-Boop!**

Nani and David are in bed, lying up, in the morning. Lilo and the others are still fast asleep.

"…_wow_."

"…_wow_."

"…that…that was _**amazing**_, Nani."

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"Wow."

"……want me to make you some breakfast?"

"Sure. Steak would be nice."

**Boo-Boop!  
**

Hamsterviel snickers as he addresses the mirror, doing some practice evil speeches. "Right then. Here's the plan. I clone Leroy, and I hold the Earth ransom for…"

Da-da-da! Da-da-da!

"One…TRILLION dollars!"

561 walks out of the closet. "More "oomph" on "trillion"." He tells an astounded white alien rodent.

**Boo-Boop!**

Nick and Lilo are listening to Dougie on the radio.

"Yo man! You wanna know what I love about bein' on the radio? Why it's waaaaay better than bein' on the TV?"

"Why, dude?"

"I don't gotta wear pants!"

"Can you dig it, man?"

**Boo-Boop!**

Camera quickly cuts to the living room. Pleakley twirls around in a new, silk-red dress. Jumba groans as he turns the TV off. "Why are you keep doing that, noodle man?"

"I just love this new dress! It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!"

Dramatic "boom" sound effect as camera focuses in on Pleakley's chest.

"_Nothing at all…"_

Another sting and another "boom"! _"Nothing at ALL!"_

"**AAAAA**!" Jumba screams, a terrible visual image appearing in his head. He runs for the bathroom. Pleakley blinks stupidly. "What? What did I say?"

**SPECIAL PERFORMANCE!**

Lilo is in the middle of the luau stage. "Hello, everyone! The Voice says as a special treat, you're all going to get to see a special playing of "Don't Be Cruel"! In "Leroy and Stitch", Everlife is doing the song in a cover. We'll be doing it right now, the same version they played!" Victoria's also there. She nods. "Okay, everyone! Let's get this party started!"

The curtain goes back. Keoni, Stitch, Nick and Rupert are there, as well as Jumba and Pleakley. Stitch and Nick are on electric guitars, Rupert and Keoni on the bass, and the two aliens on drums. And Lilo and Victoria grab microphones.

**BGM: Don't Be Cruel, by Everlife**

_Bay-baaaay…don't be cruuuuueeel… _

_You know I can be found…sitting home all alone… _

_If you can't come around…at least please telephone! _

_Don't be cruuuuueeeel…to a heart that's true, yeah! _

_Yeah baby, if I mad you maaad…for something I might have said… _

_Please lets forget the paaaaast…the future looks bright ahead! _

_Don't be cruuuuueeeel…to a heart that's true, yeah! _

_I don't want no other loooooove…baby it's only you… _

_I'm thinkin' oooooooooofffffff… _

_Don't stop thinking of me, no no… _

_Don't make me feel baaad this waaaaaaay… _

_Come on over here and love me… _

_You know what I want you to saaaay! _

_Don't be cruuuuueeeel…to a heart that's true, yeah! _

_Why should we be apart? _

_I really, really love you baby… _

_Cross my heeaaaaart! Cross my heart, mmm! _

_I really, really love you bay-bay… _

_Bay-bay… _

_Let's walk up to the preacher…and let us say "I do"! _

_Then you'll know you'll have me…and I'll know I have you! _

_Don't be cruuuuueeeel…yeah-yeah! Yeah, yeaaah! _

_Why should we be apaaaart? I really, really love you bay-bay… _

_I don't want no other loooove…baby it's only you… _

_I'm thinking ooooooof… _

_Don't be cruuuuuueeeellll! _

Lilo winks. "Don't be cruel!"

(Music ends.)


	66. Final Words

**CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR**

* * *

**_FINAL WORDS_**

* * *

Charlie looked around the beach, to see if anyone was there. Nobody was in sight.

He smiled broadly and walked out to the front of the beach, looking up at the sky.

"Uh, do I start now?"

YES.

"Hello everyone! I'm Charlie! You've seen me before, right? Well, I've been given the task of handling the final words of the author before the story ends for real! Okay, let's see, what did he want me to say?"

Charlie pulls out some rumpled papers from his pocket and blinks. "Oh yeah! Here they are." He clears his throat, then speaks, quoting from the notes.

"Well, my second story has ended. I'm very, very proud of the work I've done. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it. If there's something in my fanfic you liked or something you want to criticize, feel free to say so in your review or to e-mail me. In any case, I'm both sad and glad that this story is done, because I've put a lot…and I MEAN that…into it. But you might ask, why bother writing if not too many people read it? I'll tell you…it's a lot of fun. And the people that DO read my work, and even better, those that read AND review, really make my day. So I write for those reasons. And I'm pretty friggin proud of what I've done. Not bad for a kid who has absolutely NO rights whatsoever in owning the series of "Lilo and Stitch", huh? Raise the roof, _**ooh-ooh**_! _**Ooh-ooh**_! Okaaaay, Nick goes on like this for quite a while, so enough of this back-patting. _Moving along_! I'm gonna talk about some of the characters that I've developed in the story."

Charlie kept reading. "Lilo starts out simply as a damsel in distress, but she's the type of girl who we quickly see can hold her own if given the right tools. And she's so good at being kind and making bad people good that it's amazing. She's a real paragon of kindness. Stitch originally dislikes Nick, but soon grows to really care about him, and he and Angel finally kissing is a nice little scene. The same goes for Nick and Lilo. As for Jumba and Pleakley, I wanted to stress how when you live with people for a long time, you're bound to get on each other's nerves once and a while. The two know how to push one another's buttons, but do actually care about each other. And I know what people are gonna be asking me…"

Charlie took a deep breath, then continued. "Why make Pleakley _bisexual_? Well, I thought about it, thought pretty well. Sure it was tempting to make Pleakley gay, but he seems far more effeminate than really "flaming". And besides, making him bisexual opened up doors, not just for the story but for Pleakley. So he's not just metrosexual, he's bisexual. And that's not such a bad thing, is it? I know some people might be asking about something else…the experiments I put into my fanfic. Most of the experiments featured and described in this fanfic are based off of the official renditions **and** the renditions of the experiments found on the sites that are present in my profiles. But a few aren't, like Sneak, Jesstifier, Trickster, Squawk, Precious, Experiments 421 and 561. I thought up what they looked like myself. If you want to any of the experiments in a fanfic, go ahead and be my guest. But if the ones you wanna use are 421 and 561, I just want you to ask permission, that's all. And I know someone's gonna ask: why make Leroy 628? Simple: 628 is just thrown into an episode and then forgotten. So why waste a perfectly good experiment? Plus, by using 628 and not using a newly-made experiment that technically has no number, Jumba could make changes that would hopefully improve it and in doing so would provide an interesting way to defeat the experiment should it go rouge. In short, it made for a good plot twist or two, and I liked the idea."

Charlie sighed. "Woo! This is a _lot_!"

KEEP READING!

"I will! "Anyway, as for the "Light" and "Dark" energy thing, that's gonna be a recurring theme in my future novels. "Why?" you ask? I'll tell you…you see in a lot of works of fiction the use of two opposing sources of great power, one that's associated with good and one with evil. But I wasn't just hopping on any bandwagon. I wanted to look at Light and Dark energy as something scientific that can be analyzed to some degree, but remains mysterious, hard to understand, impossible to completely "get". And as for where they come from, I'm going to leave you in the dark…for now. But there's a small clue as to where it comes from in the fanfic. If you look close, you can find it. Now for 421 and 561's rivalry. 421, Heartwing, cares about protecting sources of good, and in the beginning was willing to do whatever it took to destroy sources of dark. But when Nick changes Heartwing's mind, he changes his attitude, and from then on is always reluctant and hesitant in unleashing his wild side, only doing so in rare occasions."

Charlie continued. "As for 561, he also doesn't like unleashing his wild side, but simply because it wastes his energy. At first, he's a cold-hearted prig who merely likes doing evil simply because it's his purpose. A cop out, no doubt, since he has free will, but he honestly believes that he had too much evil in him to do good. But that changes after Lilo gets raped, and after Nick tells him what he did in the end. It makes him decide to change his life, to see how the other side lives, and interestingly enough, he now becomes interested in reading comics about vigilantes and dark-themed superheroes. Hoo boy. Look out, Hawaii! And now…"

Charlie brushed his hair back. "Some people probably want to ask about Rupert and Jacques. Jacques, in the end, did love his brother, and Rupert really loved Jacques, no matter what nasty stuff his brother did. I thought it would not only be a sort of fitting way to explain how a person could act so evil, and it seemed…well, FAIR to Hamsterviel in doing what I did. Rupert is Hamsterviel's _real_ name, in case you were wondering. I always thought that he got too much of a raw deal in the Lilo and Stitch stories I read, always being portrayed as a hateful cruel, megalomaniacal madman or a sick, twisted little rat who likes pulling people's strings. Or he was a mix of both OR got killed off too quickly to develop any real character. SHEESH! I wanted to portray him, 561, 621, 625, 627 and Gantu as sort of sad characters that are actually redeemable and whom the audience could relate to in some way. Even 627. I feel his pain, man, as Dude would say. By the way, Dude was greatly inspired by Chong from the Cheech and Chong films (and from That 70's show) and Dougie was almost directly taken from a feature film. Guess which one?"

I know what you're all asking. "Why let 627 be good?" I saw a picture of him on the deviant art site, of him crying, _happy_…a picture of him being on the side of good. I thought about this. What if he WAS good, deep down? Yeah…that would be really nice, that would really fit! But why would he be good, that was the question. For fun? No, not like that. Had to be something slightly ironic. He's a dumb brutish bully in the beginning who's portrayed as thinking of anyone who's not him as being inferior on the spot, even his allies. However, he thinks of his allies as less inferior than others, and he's always submitting to whims and pleasures of life like…well, going to a concert! Granted he stole the tickets, but he brought his "friends" along. It was just before that chapter that I realized how he could be good…he could want companionship. That would redeem him. In the end, he would care more about his friendship with 621 than with being evil, and I felt that giving him Multiple Personality Disorder would be an interesting twist and an explanation for his crazy behavior. Plus that way he'd get a cool name like "Legion". Heck, 628's the only one who's a real bad guy, and in the end, at least he reluctantly agrees to be in the photo at the end and he can't resist joining in on the singing."

Charlie sighed and looked up at the sky. "Boy, this sure is a lot! Do I have to read any more?"

YES. THERE'S ABOUT HALF LEFT.

"Okay, okay." Charlie went back to reading. "Now for the whole story about this story. I've actually been working on this story for more than a year. That's right, a YEAR. You see, I had already made this story and had reached the end of it, and had it all saved on a Sandisk memory stick, a "flash drive" for those who don't know the nickname. But then I did something stupid. Before I could upload it to my computer at home, the whole finished products, which were saved on my memory stick in different big parts, I lost it. How? I left it in the computer at school. And nobody returned it. I kissed it goodbye. All that work…all gone. So much time and effort spent…all wasted…NOT! Isaac Newton was working on some groundbreaking work when his dog knocked over a candle and years of work went up in smoke. He didn't kill the dog, didn't curse God and die…he rewrote it! With that story in my mind, I set out to rewrite it. It's not the same work as the first story, but I think it's quite a bit better and more satisfying AND I got father. But to tell the truth, even this work you're seeing now was delayed because I had to rewrite certain parts of it. Why?"

Charlie chuckled. He couldn't believe the next part. "I got a new memory stick, right? And I saved my story on the memory stick. I divided my story up into big parts, then into smaller, easier to upload pieces. And because I didn't save all of them onto a computer, and left them on my memory stick, I had to rewrite work several times because I bought two memory sticks and lost them in the same way as the first one, and I lost the last two at the **same-exact-computer in my school**! How embarrassingly _stupid_ is that?!? Really "Dee-dee-dee"! But I didn't let it bring me down, no fracking way! I worked hard to make up for lost time and the end result is what you see, what you're reading now. What a long, hard journey it's been. But I've done it. And I hope you've enjoyed reading my story."

Charlie let out a sigh of relief. Only a little bit left. "So I want to thank all of you who have responded to my story, who have read my story, who have supported my writing. I thank you. I thank you very much. I want to dedicate this fanfiction work to Chris Sanders, who created "Lilo and Stitch", to Jess Winfield who made the Series, to the people at Disney, and to Charlie, the Charlie I based the story's Charlie on. Yes, he's a real kid. In fact, before I even met him I had an idea in my head what he'd be like. Blond hair, blue eyes, the whole shebang. And lo and behold, I meet him a few years after I think him up, while I'm working at a summer program in Massachusetts! Amazing how life is, huh? I think it was meant to happen, that it was God's way of telling me to write about him. And I did. This is for you, Charlie."

Charlie smiled. "Oh, and he says that "And this story's also dedicated to other people who have been a big help to me, like Watson Sword, Great Red Dragon, Xoverguy, knightcommander, Magus523, Mystic Gohan, Dragonborn, kinger810 and other such great writers. Thank you for your words and your inspiration. _Mahalo_ plenty. And so…"

Charlie grinned broadly and began to sing. "Untillll we meeeet agaaaaiin!"

And with that, Charlie walked off, continuing to sing as he skipped towards town.

THE END.


End file.
